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Lumine walks away after her talk with Ningguang. She helped save Liyue, again. She should be happy, proud. All she can feel is despair.
Why, why was she so stupid. Why couldn’t she think before she did things. Instead of being logical she throws herself at a wave. Really, what was there for her to do? She made a complete fool of herself. The undefeatable Traveler, taken down by a wave and her idiotic mind. She’s glad Shenhe realized she was capable of saving others and everything, but she felt stupid.
She was saved by Shenhe, without her Lumine would be laying on the sands on Guyun to die. Part of her wishes Shenhe hadn’t been there. If she was already to make such a stupid mistake like that, she might as well die along with it.
What would Aether think? He would be so disappointed. Lumine can’t even try to gauge what Paimon thinks. She’s probably disappointed too. Her only consistent companion, there to witness her foolishness in broad light.
Even just talking to Ningguang felt humiliating. Keqing, Ganyu, Beidou, even Xiao was probably there as well, to watch her. To see her fail. Observing the thoughtless actions she made. No one would make a mistake like that. Who jumps into a huge wave with a sword? No one is dumb enough to do that, except Lumine, of course. Ningguang didn’t seem disappointed but she’s smart enough to hide things like that.
Even when Lumine tried talking to Keqing afterwards all she said to her was that they needn’t make the same mistake twice. Everyone knows, they must hate her. They probably wish she died there too.
How was she to walk the streets of Liyue again? Everyone would stare at her, knowing. How was she to sail with Beidou and Kazuha again? She can’t deal with what they’d say to her. Probably something in an attempt to be positive but deep down they know they are horrified by her stupidity.
Lumine is dead silent, listening to the thump of her feet as she walks out of Guyun. Everything else sounds like static. She walked without a thought until she couldn’t see. Her vision was black and the static in her ears turned into ringing. She couldn’t even hear her feet hitting the ground. She tries to call for Paimon, but her throat is dry and she can’t get herself to speak. Paimon seems to be away anyways, probably debating on how to be seen with her now. She collapses to the ground only partially on purpose. Everything feels very light. Even Lumine couldn’t describe it. She could just barely feel the water swaying and hitting her feet. She’s near shore.
Her vision just barely becomes clear. It looks like she’s looking through black tinted glass, but she watches as the water hits her feet again. What if she crawled in? What was there to lose? What if she took her final swim as she felt her body shutting down. As she felt the water invade her lungs. She would feel the burn of not breathing. Part of her craves it, she needs it. Lumine reaches an arm out to attempt to crawl to the water.
But suddenly, she can’t feel anything as she watches as her vision disappear again. Lumine feels her head hit the ground.
Her eyes open once again. The sky is brighter now. She sits up feeling as the weight of her head hits her. Her eyes squint as she tries to manage the huge headache she has. Her vision is clear now, and she can hear the soft sound of the water swaying toward and away from her. Her body aches and her mind hurts but she gets up. She has places to be after all.
The chance to crawl into the sea and never emerge again has left, she must get to the new Jade Chamber now. She can’t disappoint people who are waiting for her, especially after all the mistakes she’s made.
Maybe on another day, another time and another mistake she ponders. Part of her is disappointed she passed out before she could do anything.