Work Text:
Roman was utterly sapped of energy.
He was wracked with muscle aches. At first, he thought it was soreness from going hard at the gym recently. He was unsure of what part of it was to blame, given that it felt like every muscle in his body was protesting.
He thought about the last time he was in the hospital. He shivered at the memory.
What made it worse was the fact Janus wasn’t there.
Roman may or may not have been tossing about on his bed, whining at nobody.
It took him far too long to scroll through his phone contacts.
He shot Janus a text first, “My Beauteous Serpentine Paramour, I’m afraid I have fallen ill.”
Roman huffed, dropping the phone to his side.
He wasn’t sure how long he was laying there before the phone dinged. It was Janus’s response, “Oh no, /whatever/ shall I do?”
Followed by a, “Look. Unless you’re dying, I can’t leave this meeting. I’ll get someone over.”
Roman responded, “What if I /am/ dying?”
“I’m sure it can wait, Wroammin.”
Roman whined some more, pouting while he responded, “Fiiine.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, alright?”
Roman smiled, “And so you must, before I /perish/.”
“Dork... Anyways, gotta go.”
Roman dozed off shortly after that, he was surprised just how hard the exhaustion hit him. It was usually harder for him to sleep and everyone knew it.
Alas, it didn’t last long. He woke up to some thuds on the door of his apartment and he was covered in sweat. It was a Herculean effort to drag himself out of bed to answer it.
He felt dizzy and nauseous as he approached. He really didn’t want to be in the hospital again.
When he opened it, there stood Patton. He carried a few boxes of Pedialyte or something under one of his arms and wore a large smile.
Roman grappled the door frame for dear life, forcing excitement, “Padre!”
“W-oof, Kiddo. Feeling like a dog, aren’t we?”
Roman’s brain wasn’t working, “… what?”
Patton looked at the drinks he brought, “Your wing-man told me you needed some TLC.”
“Oh, right,” Roman weakly gestured him inside.
“Here, take my shoulder. I’ll walk you to the couch.”
Roman remembered just how intimidating Patton's towering and somewhat grizzled figure was, when he first met him. He took the offer graciously, leaning on Patton’s free side. He was suddenly aware of how his legs felt like noodles.
Patton hummed, “Aw, you’re burning up, too. Good thing I brought the electrolytes!”
Roman groaned once they were only a couple paces away from the couch.
His eyes widened as the wave of nausea peaked. He broke away from Patton, stumbling toward the bathroom. He felt a surge of pressure building in his stomach, reflexively covering his mouth. It wasn’t the most graceful or dignified effort. He didn’t quite make it.
Roman wasn’t even sure what he ate up till that point, but now it was a disgusting mess on the floor of the bathroom. He grabbed the door frame, then the sink, trying to brace himself. He desperately tried to suppress the oncoming rolling waves of heaving long enough to get to the toilet.
He swiftly locked into a trembling huddle over his porcelain throne.
After putting down the boxes, Patton followed him. “Aw, kiddo...”
Patton carefully walked around the puddle to sit on the wall of the bath tub. He went to rub Roman’s back, to help comfort him.
As he knelt over the thing, Roman started crying from the discomfort and embarrassment. Roman hiccuped between pushes, “I-I’m sorry… about that… Pat.”
“Gosh, you don’t need to apologize! It’s not like you asked to get sick.”
“Still-”, Roman heaved again, there soon was only bile coming out.
Patton kept rubbing his back, “It’s gonna be okay, kiddo.”
Eventually, the episode simmered down long enough for Roman to back up against the wall. He was breathing heavily. Roman hated how the room was spinning, “I’d very much like to get off this not-so-merry-go-round, ticket taker.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a very fun ride.”
Patton rustled Roman’s hair and stood up, “Well, lets get you hydrated.”
As Patton started walking out, Roman was clinging to one of his legs, “Don’t gooo, I don’t want to die all by myself.”
“You’re not going to die on my watch, so help me. But you really need some fluids, okay? Just sit tight while I get that situated.”
Roman relented, not without sounding as pitiable as possible, “Promise?”
“Of course!”
Patton didn’t take very long tearing open a box, grabbing a few bottles, and returning to Roman. Patton found a space to squat down to Roman and handed him one of them. “Here.”
Roman took one and struggled a little to open it, Patton was about to help him out before the seal broke. Roman chugged it down in front of him. Patton couldn’t get a word in edgewise, saying, “Do you need h– oh boy, you ought slow d– o-okay then.”
Despite that, Patton gave a light chuckle about his antics. After a couple of lip-smacks from Roman, Patton looked around and told him, “I suppose we should clean you up a little, next.”
Roman simply nodded along, or tried to, his vision still swimming a bit.
-
Patton went above and beyond. He cleared the floor and sanitized the area. He carefully wiped off Roman’s mouth. He guided him back to bed and waited in the living room for a time.
Roman felt kind of bad about all the effort. So he distracted himself by humming various tunes, while left unattended.
It was interrupted by, “How are you feeling?”
Lying down quelled his nausea somewhat, but, “Feels like I lost a fight with Rem- a trash can.”
“Yeah. With gills that green, I’d feel like you’d be acting a little fishy otherwise.”
Roman snorted and Patton continued, “Speaking of sea… food. How does some good ole chicken noodle soup sound?”
Roman’s stomach was cramping and in knots, but he was hungry. “Sounds fabulous, Ya Big Puffball.”
“Roger Wilco, Slugger!”
Patton cheerfully saluted Roman as he left the room.
Moments later, Roman’s phone dinged again. Remus. “Heard from Padre you’re a little LAID up. Are you dead yet?”
Roman groaned as he tapped out a response, “Alas…”
“Too bad! I GOTTA see this.”
“Why /must/ you torment me so?”
“It’s fucking HILARIOUS, bro.”
Roman sighed overly loudly. Patton clearly heard it from the kitchen, “You okay there, kiddo?”
Roman’s throat was raspy from all the retching earlier, but still managed to project with indignation, “Why did you tell REMUS I was indisposed!? How could you!”
Patton laughed and lilted, “Ohana means family, and family means nobody is left behind or forgotten.”
Roman shot up and whined, “Will the betrayals never cease? The gall of you to bring Lilo & Stitch into this!”
He immediately regretted that, another wave of dizziness and a burgeoning headache came on. Patton erupted into hearty laughter, unaware. Roman laid back down, grumbling and pouting. It wasn’t much longer than that when he heard Patton announce, “Soup’s up! Want me to bring it to you?”
Roman put that aside. Patton was pampering him, rather adequately, he’d add. “S-sure.”
Patton arrived with the food on a platter. Roman rose again, this time slowly. It was just some of the canned stuff with little dinosaur noodles.
“I would tell you to move like pond water but-”
As soon as the platter was properly in Roman’s lap, he went to town. Completely forgoing the spoon and chugging it down straight from the bowl. Some of it dribbled onto his PJs, but he clearly didn’t care. He couldn’t appreciate the flavor much, at that pace, but it was soothing.
He dozed off a little bit after that, feeling something cool being placed on his head.
Patton left him be to watch some cartoons in the living room.
-
Roman was feeling okay again.
Until he wasn’t.
The pressure from his stomach came back with a vengeance, forcing him to make a scramble for the bathroom. This time he managed to reach the toilet in time, at least. Patton stood by with the fluids in hand, while he waited on the episode to pass.
He barely recovered any strength before his limbs felt like the soft bits of the soup that didn’t stay in him. His eyes watered as his stomach and abs strained.
Patton almost got some words of assurance out before he heard someone at the door, unlocking it. In an instant, it slammed open, startling both Roman and Patton.
Before they could question who it was – “I heard it was somebody’s FUNERAL today!”
Roman cried, “Oh God, please… no. Please. Save me, Padre!”
Patton tried, but failed in not looking amused.
In moments, Remus stomped his way toward the bathroom. Patton simply letting him through.
Remus stood to Roman’s side, bent over, and pulled out his phone, “Oh, MAN. I’m definitely going to share this with Hot Topic and Geek Squad later.”
Remus cackled when Roman turned to glare back at him.
“So. Where’d ya think you picked up this bug, Robro?”
“Have no idea. Don’t care. Why does this matter anyways?”
“Oh, this shit’s been going around town, dude. About a week ago I-”
“Please, for the love of God and all things Disney-”, Roman made a dry heave into the toilet. He wasn’t sure if it was from this blasted stomach flu or the disgusting imagery his brother was implying. It was probably both.
Patton was standing there snickering. Roman clearly wounded, practically squawked, “My Dear Sweet Padre, whose side are you on!?”
Patton made the “my lips are sealed” gesture.
-
Later that night, Janus relieved Patton of his post. Patton had to teach the next morning, even though he was tempted to stick around and help.
Remus eventually got bored and left the building too, not without gleefully prattling on about death arrangements. He was more excited about regaling this to his own.
Janus took a moment to acknowledge Roman before dressing down more comfortably.
Roman felt ragged, by that time. Exhaustion, not enough sleep, food not staying down… it was starting to mess with his head a bit. Okay, maybe a lot.
He was getting restless, humming turned into quiet singing. Maybe he was happy he was going to have time with his boyfriend. It was raspy and fried thanks to his burned throat.
“I wanna, ha. I wanna, ha. I wanna, ha…”
Janus laughed a little, “What, pray tell, is that sonorous racket?”
Roman just kept singing, lost in the moment.
“I wanna really, really, really wanna...”
Janus pretended to be a cold and stern talent judge. This only emboldened Roman.
“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends~”
Janus broke character, laughing, “Oh, being with your friends totally wasn’t a nefarious plot on my part, to get to you.”
Both of them laughed.
Janus went to rub Roman’s shoulder. “How does a sponge bath sound, hm? Oh, there won’t be more… treats later. Depending on how things go.”
“That sounds marvelous.”