Chapter Text
“The patient has only three months to live, I’m sorry.”
Nayeon heard it, but still can’t comprehend the words in her mind.
As if her whole world stopped, Nayeon can’t move, but of course she should not move, since she’s acting that’s she’s asleep. She spent almost half of her life in the hospital, believing she would recover and be alright.
But what’s this?
She fought her way; she survived all those operations she had undergone, she endured all those catheters and syringes being injected to her, all those medicines she needed to take even if she almost throw up— she did everything to live and yet this is the result?
She tried to peek slowly, careful not to break her act.
…only to see her lifeline breaking on the spot she stands.
It broke Nayeon’s heart, seeing her loved ones— her family, and friends looking devastated and on the verge of breaking.
But it definitely crushed what’s left inside Nayeon’s chest when she saw Mina— her lifeline, crying silently with her head bowed.
Myoui Mina, the main reason, why she kept fighting for her life.
Myoui Mina, the love of her life.
Myoui Mina, her lifeline.
Nayeon begged the doctor to go to the hospital rooftop, assuring that she won’t do anything reckless.
“Then I’ll let Nurse Yeri accompany you,” Doctor Kang said.
“Noooo! I want to go there alone! I just want to be alone! I won’t go suicide, come on, please!” Nayeon felt weak, but tried to grab the doctor’s coat.
“Please…” Tears started streaming over the once full-of-energy face.
Doctor Kang sighed.
“WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Nayeon shouted as soon as she reached the rooftop.
“WHYYYYYYYYYYY!!! I WANTED TO LIVE!!! I WANTED TO DIE OLD! I WANTED TO GROW OLD WITH MY FAMILY! WITH MY FRIENDS! WITH JEONG! MOMO! SANA! JIHYO! DAHYUN! CHAEYOUNG! AND TZUYU! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!” Nayeon helplessly cried out on top of her lungs.
Only the wind blowing is the answer that she received.
Nayeon fell on her knees, looking up at the sky nearing dusk.
“I wanted to live with Mina…” she whispered.
“I WANTED TO LIVE WITH MINA! I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WILL CONFESS TO HER ONCE I RECOVER! I WANT TO COURT HER! I WANT TO MAKE HER HAPPY! SO WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!” Nayeon shouted again, clutching her chest, feeling pain all over.
“Am I that bad? Did I do some evil things?” Nayeon whispered, wiping her tears by her hands one after one.
The sky started to get dark.
Nayeon looked up and saw the sun setting.
Minutes of silence has passed.
She sighed and whispered, wiping her tears away.
“I see I’m not the one for her, huh?”
“Then let her be happy, please? Anyone, just anyone I could trust her with. Please…” Nayeon bit her lip, stopping herself from crying again.
She composed herself first and prayed again, “Let Mina be happy with someone else before I go, please.”
“What? You like Mina?” Nayeon almost whacked Jeongyeon’s head, if not only because of the catheters attached to her arms.
“Whoa, whoa! Calm down, rabid bunny! Are you really sick? I could have died if that hit me!” Jeongyeon whined.
“So dramatic, Jeong! But since when? I thought Mina’s bestfriend, Momo— is the love of your life? You’ve been courting Momo for two years!” Nayeon sounds angry. Jihyo sighed.
“See? Jeong, I told you, Nayeon would go overprotective! You should explain it slowly.” Jihyo said looking stern.
“Look, I know I’ve been courting Momo these past two years, but when I started to get to know Mina more I realized, it’s her I like,” Jeongyeon looked serious more than ever, far from her goofy face. “Remember, when Momo and I stopped talking, that’s when the time when I decided to stop.”
Nayeon was stunned for a moment.
So her prayer was heard?
It was just a week ago when she cried at the rooftop.
So I will really die huh? Nayeon thought.
Nayeon smiled, with both pain and happiness.
Pain, because Mina was not for her.
And happiness, because Jeongyeon might be the one meant for Mina.
“Did you tell Momo about this? I swear if I found out that you’re two-timing my bestfriends, I’ll haunt you, Yoo Jeongyeon!” Nayeon glared, throwing a bottle of water towards Jeongyeon’s direction which the latter evaded easily.
“Momo and Jeong already talked about it, four months ago, and Momo was happy since it was Dahyun she likes,” Jihyo smiled.
“Oh I’m glad, I heard Dahyun likes Momo, too, before right? But wait, I thought she likes Tzuyu now?” Nayeon remembers, looking puzzled.
“Huh, it’s just a crush Nabongs, don’t make a big deal about it.” Jihyo laughed, “Tzuyu likes Sana by the way so---“
“What, wait? I thought you and Sana are --?” Nayeon asked, looking more puzzled.
“Love really does happen in a mysterious way, isn’t it?” Jeongyeon smirked.
“Don’t tell me you and Chaeng--?” Nayeon started but Jihyo didn’t let her finish.
“What? No! Somi and Chaeyoung are staying strong okay? Don’t include me with those lovebirds,” Jihyo said, acting disgusted.
“What if you two are really meant to be?” Jeongyeon laughed as Jihyo and Nayeon acted as if they’re going to throw up.
But Nayeon eyed them carefully.
Jeongyeon went back to her serious face, “Hey, Nayeonie, if you don’t believe me, it’s okay. Just let me prove myself.”
“What? I’ve known you since forever, Jeong, I trust you but why asking me this?” Nayeon asked, acting as if it was a weird idea, but deep inside, she’s thankful.
“Oh, I thought… you know, you like Minari,” Jeongyeon looked shy but still determined.
“WHAT? Since when!?” Nayeon dramatically asked. “Didn’t I tell you I’m still not over Jieun?”
Jieun again, aren’t we? Nayeon thought.
It was always Jieun-unnie I speak of whenever people bring up this topic.
Nayeon remembered when she was still a kid; she was always at the hospital as an outpatient, when she met this girl who played with her one day at the hospital’s playground.
Jieun’s mother was sick, so it was her father who takes care of her mother while Jieun plays alone as she waits for them to go home— and that’s when Nayeon met Jieun.
Jieun grew fond of Nayeon, so one day when they have to go abroad, she promised Nayeon that she’s still always remember the latter and will come back someday.
Nayeon never really had romantic feelings towards the girl and neither Jieun did, even if Jeongyeon and Jihyo really insist that there were sparks whenever the two do occasional facetimes or calls.
But when Nayeon met Mina way back high school, she asked Jieun for help, saying that if it’s alright using her as Nayeon’s love interest— which Jieun accepted hilariously but at the same time sympathizing the younger.
Because they both know, Nayeon won’t last— a fact that Nayeon almost forgot when she started hoping that she’ll recover and live longer.
“Sorry, you and Mina were always together ever since high school, so I thought—“ Jeongyeon started.
“Nahh,” Nayeon giggled, “Mina was just caring towards me unlike you, two!” Nayeon teased.
Laugh, Nayeon, laugh.
“And what do you mean by that!? I already bought you the stuff toy you like that worth almost a month of my allowance!” Jeongyeon started to tackle towards Nayeon, which Jihyo blocked, but Nayeon started to tackle towards Jeongyeon, too.
The three stopped when the door swung open, and there it goes… an ethereal beauty entered the room, followed by their friends.
To Nayeon, it felt as if her world stopped. It was always like this, whenever she sees Mina.
But then her world started to move again, when she realize Jeongyeon looking at Mina with those sparkling eyes same as hers.
“Yah! Jeongyeon-ah, Jihyo-yah! Why are you wrestling with Nayeon-unnie?” Mina said, pouting.
Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Jihyo started pointing each other, which made the younger ones laugh.
“And that’s what will happen when we always let 3mix on their own,” Momo said as she shook her head, acting disapproved, and bites the corndog in her hand.
“Oh, really?” Jeongyeon smirked and proceed to bite on Momo’s corndog.
It was a mess, Dahyun surge forward giving both Jeongyeon and Momo two corndogs to stop their bickering again. (Noticeably, Dahyun wipes Momo’s mouth with tissue, muttering “you looked like a kid, Momo-unnie.”) Jihyo started preparing the plates, while Chaeng makes a video call to Somi which Nayeon greeted too, waving away the younger’s worry for not be able to go back to Korea since the model has too many things on her plate. Nayeon watched as Sana and Tzuyu playfully designed the cupcakes on the left side of the table. She then looked at the other side of the table where Jeongyeon decorates some balloon then proceeds to making goofy faces, which Nayeon glared at, but then she noticed that those goofy faces were not for her— it was for Mina, the one who stands beside her, fixing Nayeon’s little table on bed, who obviously stopped because of Jeongyeon’s playful acts.
Something broke within Nayeon, but it’s okay.
She smiled and just started fixing the table herself. The conversation she had with Jeongyeon and Jihyo started echoing inside her mind, slowly, as if she didn’t understand everything at first.
Four months ago, she remembered Jeongyeon and Momo stopped talking, so the two barely interacts whenever they visit Nayeon. So, four months ago, Jeongyeon already admitted to Momo that she likes Mina, which is okay for Momo, since the latter likes Dahyun— the reason why Momo haven’t answered Jeongyeon.
Meaning? Jeongyeon had already feelings for Mina before those four months ago? Nayeon thought.
Oh well, who wouldn’t fall in love with Myoui Mina? Nayeon thought.
She heard Mina laugh as Jeongyeon tried to pull a prank on Jihyo, which the latter sensed easily. As a result a foam of icing are now all over Jeongyeon’s face who stumps her foot, trying to take the icing from Sana to get revenge at Jihyo. Unfortunately, Tzuyu snatched the icing from Sana’s hand saving her from Jeongyeon’s antics which eventually stop Jeongyeon from getting revenge.
“Jeongyeon’s really soft when it comes to Tzuyu, isn’t she?” Mina giggled as she saw Jihyo laughed her lungs out since Jeongyeon can’t get back at her, while the latter, grumpily wiping the icing off her face.
“I think, she’s more soft, when it comes to you,” Nayeon blurted out, unaware why she said that. Was it because of jealousy? Or is it because she’s desperate to make sure Mina move on from her?
“Uhm, about that… she’s really serious; I wonder if it’s okay to try?” Mina asked softly, with a smile on her lips.
Oh, so Mina started thinking the same way too, huh. Ouch! Nayeon laughed inside her mind.
Some prayers are really meant to be fulfilled, and some are not, I guess.
Nayeon breathed, “of course, it’s fine, why ask that?”
“I don’t know… maybe because…” Mina said looking shy.
Please don’t confess. Don’t. Please. I might not able to hold it back. Nayeon prayed over and over.
“… uhm, you know because of Momoring?” Mina finished.
Ah right. Maybe she’s over me already? She doesn’t seem looked fazed anymore, Nayeon thought again.
I miss those looks, Mina… I miss those smiles, you always reserved for me. She thought hard again.
“Oh that? Nah, it’s okay. Look, Momo likes Dahyun, don’t you see?” Nayeon whispered trying to laugh.
“Don’t worry, I’ll haunt Yoo Jeongyeon if she hurts you!” Nayeon joked reassuringly.
Nayeon thinks if she’s really the one who will haunt Jeongyeon or Jeongyeon’s going to be the one to haunt her in her dreams filled with Mina.
Right then and there, Nayeon accepted her fate.
Three months have passed, surprisingly, Nayeon is still alive.
But still there’s no guarantee that it won’t be sooner or later.
Not to mention, Nayeon grew weaker and weaker every day.
Within the first month, Nayeon endured being with Mina and Jeongyeon, acting and teasing them like she’s the best bestfriend ever.
The second month was less challenging since Nayeon’s visiting hours were more limited due to her state. Jeongyeon, Momo and Jihyo became busier due to their final exams plus sideline jobs; Sana was needed on their family business in Japan; Mina and Dahyun sharing the same course needed to finish their plates in due time; and lastly, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu both majoring in Arts are fulfilling their studies as exchange students in Italy- as what Nayeon's mom tried telling to Nayeon.
But Nayeon didn’t notice any of this since, she was always asleep. She only wakes up when it’s about to eat or about to take her medicines, then shortly after, she will go back to sleep.
The third month came; it was time for Nayeon to take her medicines when Mina visited.
“It’s been five months, Nayeon-unnie.” Mina said softly.
“R-Really?” Nayeon said, too weak to speak.
“Yes, sorry we’re so busy that we weren’t able to come and see you,” Mina said more softly.
“It’s… okay… I think… you need to… get used to… Since, I’m going sooner or later…” Nayeon said slowly, her voice becoming hoarser than ever.
Silence took over the room, but Nayeon felt Mina was still there.
“How… are you… and Jeong…?” Nayeon barely whispered, bunny teeth showing.
“Oh, we’re actually engaged!” Mina giggled. “Look this is the ring she proposed to me!”
Nayeon smiled, a tear escaping her eyes.
Alas, five months of waiting was worth it. She thought.
“I’m glad you look happy.” Nayeon mustered her little strength to say those five words a little bit lively.
“How can you say I’m happy, when you can’t even see me?” Mina giggled softly.
“I… can still… remember… how happy you were with Jeong… that’s why… I know,” Nayeon said slowly, hoarse voice shaking.
“Do you want to go outside, Nayeonnie?” Mina asked.
Nayeon felt strength coming as she heard that nickname once again.
“Sure…”
It’s already past five in the afternoon, where the shadows of the building covers Mina and Nayeon as Mina pushed Nayeon’s wheelchair around the hospital grounds.
The wind was cool and breezy, a perfect sunny day.
But only Mina can see it since Nayeon is too weak to open her eyes.
Mina sit on the grass in front of Nayeon, levelling a little to Nayeon.
Mina admitted her feelings to Nayeon “before”, to where Nayeon just smiled.
Then Nayeon held Mina’s hands, “Where’s… your… engagement… ring…? Jeong… might… get… angry… if… she… saw… you… not… wearing… it.”
Nayeon won’t still confess anything, as long as Mina is happy, Nayeon is happy.
Mina smiled, “oh I just put it inside my bag since accessories are not allowed.”
“What…? They’re… that… strict…? We’re… outside… the… hospital…”
Mina asked her, “Oh come on, did you just waved away my confession?”
Nayeon weakly laughed, “What…? What… do… you… want… me… to… react…?”
“Is there a time you even had a crush on me? God, I’m glad I’ve already moved on!”
Nayeon weakly laughed again, “What… do… you… think…?”
Mina whined, “Still as hard as ever, was it hard to admit that you’re once whipped to me?”
Nayeon weakly laughed again, “Oh… what… if… I… never… did?”
Mina pouted, “Rude!”
Nayeon smiled at Mina, “I’ll… leave… it… to… your… imagination… then.”
Silence took over them; Nayeon felt Mina gently hugged her.
As Mina hugged Nayeon, memories started to flash over the older girl’s mind.
Kid Nayeon stumbled upon kid Jeongyeon as the little girl accidentally peed on her pants, due to shock of the dogs that keep barking at the latter. Nayeon help Jeongyeon changed with the help of Nayeon’s mom, and sent Jeongyeon home with the help of Nayeon’s dad. Tomorrow came, they became playmate since then.
Elementary days— Nayeon and Jeongyeon found a girl who was bullied for being chubby, the two didn’t think twice, they started a fight with the bullies, ending the two were almost suspended because the bullies looked like more the bullied ones due to Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s nasty attacks. Fortunately, Jihyo speak up for them, saving the two from school suspension but not from their parents’ earful sermons and some whips of their cloth’s hanger.
High school days— The time when 3mix— which Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Jihyo invented as their group name, since they’re like a one-of-a-kind mix that should not be separated— met another two one-of-a-kind mixes which are Momo, Sana and Mina (the three came from Japan), and Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu (the three were already classmates since their elementary days).
Nayeon and Mina’s first meeting was on their school’s welcome party. Mina was alone in the corner when Nayeon noticed her and asked her to a dance. Good thing, the new girl didn’t bother to call the school admins when Nayeon just suddenly approached that would have freak the girl out.
Nayeon and Mina’s first pairing was on their first subject. Since Jihyo and Jeongyeon always pair with each other during activities, leaving Nayeon out (jokingly), she approached Mina again. Good thing, Momo was having a hard time choosing between Mina and Sana, almost resorting to a triad group that would definitely piss their teacher for not following instructions.
Nayeon and Mina’s first overnight was on Mina’s birthday. Too bad for a birthday, they needed to pass a certain research paper, so after a short celebration, the birthday decorations transformed to laptop and papers. But Nayeon knew, Mina enjoyed it even if she’s the only one who was able to attend her party (since everybody has to do this research paper subject).
Nayeon remembered the moment she realized that she fell for Mina.
Nayeon suddenly had seizure attack during recess, Mina who grew with her father who is a doctor, knew what to do. As Mina rolled Nayeon onto her side, to avoid the food from clogging her airways— Nayeon felt safer more than ever.
A promise to stay beside Mina forever started to build within her heart.
She remembered the day she heard Mina and Sana's conversation- wherein Sana kept gushing about Mina's feelings for Nayeon which the younger girl dismisses shyly.
Nayeon was the happiest person on earth, that day.
I love you, Mina, Nayeon said…
…in her mind.
***