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Sirius, Lily, and James fell asleep curled up around each other on the carpet. It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions, but it was warm, and James and Lily didn’t need to talk to one another to know that they weren’t leaving Sirius and Remus alone right now. James woke in the middle of the night once he’d realized Sirius had slipped away. He extracted himself lightly from Lily’s grasp, careful not to wake her, and got up to look for him. He stopped outside of Remus and Sirius’s room where the door had been left open a crack, letting light from the hallway drift inside. James leaned a bit closer so that he could see inside. Remus was curled up into a tight ball on their bed and clutching desperately at Sirius’ chest while he whimpered. Sirius was rubbing slow circles into his back as he whispered quiet affirmations to him. James froze overcome with the feeling that he was interrupting something sacred and slowly made his way back to the living room, where he grabbed a blanket off the couch before curling up with Lily.
Both Sirius and him had known that they had fallen in love with people who had very different life experiences than them. They knew that simply because of who Lily and Remus were they were going to be more at risk, but it was one thing to understand that danger as a concept and another to be faced with the real damage it could cause.
In the morning, James and Lily headed back through the floo to shower and change while Sirius started on breakfast. Remus hadn’t dozed back off until earlier this morning and Sirius had left him in their room to sleep. He hoped that the draught had meant that Remus was able to get a little bit of rest.
Sirius was just about to pour the eggs into the pan when the doorbell rang. He frowned. They hadn’t been expecting anyone today. He set the bowl down and made his way to the door and peered through the peephole to see Peter on the other side.
His heart started racing. What was he going to do? He couldn’t let Peter in here. Not with Remus, but what if ignoring him tipped them off that he was onto them? He started to back away from the door, moving quietly so that Peter wouldn’t know they were home. He just needed a moment to think.
The doorbell rang again. “C’mon Sirius, I can hear you in there. Let me in.”
Sirius’s mind was already running through worst case scenarios. Maybe Peter had found out that they knew. Maybe he had a bomb or one of his toxic plants and he was planning on killing them all, but no… despite everything he’d let Remus out. Maybe he hadn’t yet processed how this was going to end for his friends and Sirius needed to stop him before it was too late.
“Okay, Peter,” Sirius told him. “I’m just gonna grab my wand to put the wards down.” As he made his way into the living room, he wondered if there was a way he could let James and Lily know what was going on. An owl wouldn’t get there fast enough and Peter might hear him talking through the floo. No, he just had to hope they understood his plan when they got back here.
Sirius took down the wards and let Peter in, putting them back up once the door was closed again. He was painfully aware that this meant he was locking Peter in here with them. He just had to hope that he gambled right in thinking that preventing Peter’s chances of escape was the best move.
Sirius went back to the stove and turned the element on, pouring the eggs in.
“That’s quite a feast,” Peter said.
“James and Lily are coming over. Would have invited you but it seems we never know where you are these days.”
“Oh you know,” Peter said walking through the apartment, looking aimlessly at the photos on the wall, and picking up trinkets Sirius and Remus had acquired through the years, “Dumbledore’s always got me away on one Order mission or another.”
“That why you didn’t use the floo?” Sirius said, hoping to get a better window into what Peter was doing here and where he’d actually come from.
“I was staying with a friend. Is Remus home?”
“He is, but he’s still asleep.” He picked up the pancake batter and ladled it onto the griddle; his mind echoing with the memory of Remus’s screams. “He has a hard time sleeping lately.”
“Right,” Peter said, making his way back to the kitchen. “How is he?”
Sirius gripped his spatula tightly as he flipped pancakes and stirred the eggs. Every fibre of his being was screaming, You don’t get to ask that. You don’t deserve to know. He trusted you and look, look at what you did to him. We all trusted you and now…
“Sirius?”
“Hm?” Sirius said, realizing he was lost in his daydream.
“I brought something for him,” Peter said.
Sirius was about to ask what it was but before he could there was the familiar whoosh of the floo and James and Lily were back.
“James, Lily!” Sirius said, perhaps a bit too happily. “Look who stopped by for breakfast.”
“Oh, I really can’t stay,” Peter started.
And Lily, bless her soul, didn’t miss a single beat. “Sure you can, Pete. It’s been so hard to get a hold of you lately. We’ve barely had time to catch up.”
“I just saw you at the party the other night,” Peter protested.
“Too many people,” James said clapping him on the back. “We need to have some time together. You know, as the Marauders.”
“Okay,” Peter said. “Just for a bit, but mostly cause I want to give this to Remus. See if it works.” He produced a small container of salve from his pocket.
“What’s that?” Sirius asked as he finished up cooking and Lily started to set the table.
“A salve, to help his arms.”
“Where did you get it from?” Sirius asked, taking it from Peter’s hand and turning it over before setting it out of his reach. If there was even a chance it could work, it was the least he owed them. “I’ve been trying for weeks to find something with no luck.”
“Oh, my friend has a very special garden. He focuses on plants with unique uses.”
“Oh? Well, I’ll have to meet him. St. Mungo’s could use someone with access to that kind of magic.”
For the first time since he entered their house, Peter’s calm demeanour faltered and he looked nervous. “Oh no, he’s a bit eccentric I’m afraid. A little paranoid. Won’t let anyone near them.”
“That’s a shame,” Sirius said, doling out food into serving dishes.
“I thought we knew all you friends,” Lily teased, but James and Sirius both knew what she was really trying to do.
“Oh, I met him after Hogwarts through work. You know, herbology and all.” His eyes flashed down the hallway. “Aren’t we going to wake Remus up for breakfast?”
Usually Sirius would, but there was no way hell he was bringing him out into the kitchen to face the friend who’d tortured him. “Like I told you,” Sirius said, fighting to keep his tone cordial, “he needs his sleep.”
They all sat down at the table and started to serve one another. Sirius was halfway through filling everyone’s glasses with orange juice when something clicked into his head. He kept his hands steady and took a deep breath to keep his demeanour consistent. If living in the Black household had done anything for him, it was teaching him how to lie.
“I just thought of something,” Sirius said, as he sat back down after pouring everyone’s glasses. He kicked James and Lily lightly under the table. “How did you know about Remus’s arms?”
And oh, whatever the death eaters had given him they hadn’t prepared him for this. The answer was written so plainly across his face and Sirius wanted nothing more than to reach across the table and strangle him. To make him hurt like Remus was hurting.
Peter took a bite of his food and swallowed slowly to give himself time to school his face back into passivity. “I saw them when we hung out the other night.”
“That can’t be right,” Lily added. “Remus has been wearing long sleeves since the accident, especially around his friends. He doesn’t want to scare them and he doesn’t like looking at the wounds either. He wouldn’t have rolled his sleeves up for anything.” Sirius wasn’t sure how she did it, but she somehow managed to make the word 'friends' sound both amicable and like a threat.
“Well then, I must have seen them whenever you did Lily.”
“No,” Lily said, as she turned to look Peter dead in the eyes, “I saw them because I’ve been here. I was here the first moment James and Sirius brought him back bleeding and broken and having no idea where he was because that’s what people do, Peter. They look after their friends when something awful happens to them.”
“D-Dumbledore must have told me then.”
Now it was Sirius’s turn to jump back in. “I haven’t let Remus within spitting distance of the Order since everything happened, not that he’s even well enough to go, and I sure as hell haven’t given Dumbledore all the gory details.”
Peter turned back to his food, obviously struggling for another answer as Lily and Sirius tracked his every movement closely. But it was James, not Peter, who spoke up next. His voice quiet and composed from where he was staring at his uneaten plate of food. Poor James who had grown up with so much, who had been loved so well, who couldn’t imagine anyone who’d want to inflict this kind of violence on another human being, let alone their friend. “Tell me Peter, did you try that salve on the scar on the back of your hand?”
There was a tense moment as Peter slowly reason he’d been got and set his utensils back down on the table. Everyone kept their eyes trained on each other and Sirius knew they were all reaching for their wands under the table. The only question left was who was going to break first.
From the down the hall came the sudden creak of a floorboard, and Sirius’s head snapped to see the door of their bedroom opening. “Remus!” he screamed “Go back inside and lock the door, now.” Sirius turned back just in time to dodge a hex from Peter and then all chaos broke loose.
Hexes shattered the pitcher of orange juice and split plates in half. Forks and knives clattered to the floor as chairs toppled backwards. Their house. Their home being turned into a battlefield. The same way Peter had turned their friendship into a war.
“Please,” Peter said, when they finally had him cornered. “Please, I did it all for you. You don’t understand.”
“Expelliarmus,” Sirius said through gritted teeth and Peter’s wand went flying.
“They – they have so many more resources than us,” Peter told them. His hands in the air as he moved backwards in a futile attempt at escape. “They can protect us in ways that Dumbledore can’t.”
“Right,” Sirius said, stepping forward again. “Resources like plants perfect for burning Your. Best. Friend.”
“You don’t understand. I had to. They were all watching me, but if I’m inside, if I’m with them they can protect you. There’s room for you too. They can promise you asylum and shelter from everything that’s coming. They’re going to kill everyone. All we can do is protect those we love.”
Sirius’s eyes burned with tears and his blood boiled with hatred. How? How, after everything, could Peter say that he was doing this for them? That all that he had destroyed, everything he had ruined, was in the name of love. The same love that had him holding a mandrake leaf in his mouth for a month or saving Sirius;s his favourite breakfast pastries or taking the fall to get them out of trouble. Is that what Peter thought he was doing, taking the fall? He couldn’t handle this anymore. Everything that had happened. Everything that had been done to them… he felt sick. He staggered away from Peter as James shouted, “Stupefy!” And somehow, distantly, his brain heard the sound of Peter’s body collapsing to the floor.
“Sirius,” Lily said, stepping slowly towards to him.
“Lils,” James called, “can you Incarcerous him for me? You’re better at it than I am.”
She nodded and turned back towards Peter to properly tie him up.
“He won’t be out for long,” James told her, watching Sirius nervously. “I need to alert Dumbledore and the Order,” he paused. “I need to tell them we found the spy.”
Lily nodded and James kissed her goodbye and gave Sirius’s shoulder a squeeze before hurrying back to the fireplace and flooing himself to Dumbledore’s office. Sirius stood there, haunted by all the damage.
“Sirius,” Lily said again, stepping forward to comfort him, but she was interrupted by another creak of the floorboards.
“Remus,” Sirius whispered and hurried down the hall. He cast Alohomora only to realize the door wasn’t locked. He went to open it but found it barred, in his addled and tired state he began to slam his body against the door, hoping to knock the dresser away from the other side.
“Sirius,” Lily said. “Stop. You’re going to scare him.”
Sirius whirled around to look at her and froze upon seeing the gentleness in her eyes. He let himself melt and nodded once to let her know he’d heard her. Remus had blockaded the door. He still wasn’t using his wand and he was trapped in their room terrified.
Sirius peeked his wand through the crack in the door and began to Wingardium Leviosa the items away from it one at a time.
“Remus,” Sirius said, as he slipped his way through the gap he cleared with Lily following him. He scanned the room slowly, looking for any sign of his boyfriend. “Remus,” he said again and if on queue Remus hurtled himself out of the closet arms swinging desperately.
Sirius put his hands up instinctively to block the punches. “Remus. Remus! It’s me.” Slowly, he watched as realization dawned on Remus’s face and the fight went out of him as he slumped against Sirius.
“It was happening again,” he said as he clutched onto Sirius and started to tremble all over.
“It’s okay,” Sirius told him. “It’s okay. We’re okay. Everything is going to be alright now.” He continued to whisper assurances and platitudes against Remus’s skin. When his legs kept shaking, he brought them both gently to the floor, holding Remus close until the futility of what he was saying dawned on him. They were just words. They wouldn’t protect them from the reality of what they’d been going through and a dam broke the moment he spoke the truth. “We’re safe for now, Remus. I promise you that, but you’re right. We’re not okay and I don’t know when we’ll be okay again but we’re here and I’ve got you.” He held him tighter. Eyes closed so he couldn’t see how far away everything had gotten from normal. “I got you, okay? I’m so sorry I wasn’t there then, but I’m here now.”
Meanwhile, Lily had slipped out of the room and was currently sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around her legs and her face buried in her knees. James came back in through the floo and after checking Peter was still unconscious and tied up, he made his way down the hall to her.
“Dumbledore's stopping by the Ministry to gather up some Aurors first then he’ll be on his way here.”
Lily looked up at him through watery eyes. “I don’t know how to fix this for them.”
James reached out for her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Maybe we can’t,” he said, as he wrapped an arm around her waist and started to guide her in the direction of their friend’s bedroom. “But we can be there for them.”
James made his way into the room first, wrapping his arms around Sirius who twisted one arm out of Remus’s grasp to clutch onto him. Lily couldn’t hear what Sirius was mumbling against James’s chest, but she could her James whispering back softly, “I know. I know.”
She made her way into the room quietly and when she knelt beside her friends her husband was smiling softly up her up, just for a moment before his face fractured and then she held onto him and he held onto her and they all held onto each other and nothing was okay, but at least they weren’t alone.