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The ringmaster waited for the applause for the identical twin acrobats to die down before introducing the next act, “Mr. Ampora - The Grand Magician and his beautiful assistant, Roguish Roxy.” As usual, Eridan grit his teeth, the sting of the word “magician” instead of “illusionist” bit at him every single time. And as usual, Roxy gave him a hard elbow to the ribs before she sauntered out ahead of him, keeping the audience’s focus on her nearly risque dancing.
Suddenly, right when Roxy’s act would predictably become a bit saucier, a thunderous sound cracked in the tent, and she simply vanished into thin air. The spotlight that was previously focused on her started to spastically search the arena before stopping dead in the center on Eridan. The audience was dead silent, on the edges of their seats, never blinking, waiting for what was next.
The sea dweller removed his cape, and with a flourish, it burst into flames, and Roxy appeared behind the dying curtain of fire. The applause and cheering was so loud, the ringmaster couldn’t even ask for a volunteer from the audience for nearly a minute. When an excited young troll jumped into the arena, Roxy said to Eridan through her grin, “Don’t you dare ruin it,” and he gave out a groan, but kept a straight face.
Now, she wasn’t doubting his skills, she knew he could pull off any trick flawlessly. But with volunteers, he had the tendency to spill the secrets of their act and ruin the magic. Sure, sometimes there was a kid that was genuinely interested in learning how, but it truly upset so many patrons that Eridan was barely even allowed to talk during his performances.
Oh, how he’d love to prove to everyone that everything he did was an illusion, explainable with logic and science. After the first time he tried that, Roxy made it abundantly clear that he’d get his ass canned if he ruined another performance like that. That was the only reason why he hadn’t spoiled the fun. It wasn’t that he needed the income, or craved the fame. Well, maybe he did enjoy the praise more than he’d like to admit.
Most of all, he just wanted to have fun with Roxy. Even if he got fired, she’d probably stick around the circus, just because she enjoyed it so much. They’d find a new “magician” to stick her with, and, well, Eridan already went through so many scenarios in his mind. Maybe he’d punch the phony magician in the face, or use the Crosshairs to make for a little accident. But then the tent might catch fire, and all these humans and trolls would die, and Roxy might get hurt, or worse off, hate him forever. It was far too much of a risk to take. As much as he despised hearing the word “magic,” he dreaded his life away from this mad act so much more.
So this wee little land dweller got her fun. She turned into her lusus, flew around the room, landed, and turned back into a troll. It’d be so very easy for Eridan to explain the mechanics of this, and it was such an obvious trick to him that he was surprised nobody had figured it out by now. All he had to do was use his science stick to switch the molecules of the lusus with the troll’s, and repeat in reverse. How was everyone so blind and dumb that they thought that was magic?
Even more ridiculous, to him, was when he had Roxy submerged in water, but still able to breathe. It’d wouldn’t even be a trick if he was the one in the tank, the fins were an obvious giveaway. But the booming voice of the ringmaster announced that Mr. Ampora would enchant this water so that any gilless human and land dweller could breathe it in without drowning. To prove it was regular water beforehand, they’d throw in some poor creature and everyone would watch it drown. On Earth, before Roxy was even alive, this would have been a travesty, the place might have been shut down. But on Alternia, nobody really cared. The dead creature would feed another hungry animal after the show.
Eridan didn’t need to enchant the water though. It was just a simple matter of scientifically transferring his gills to Roxy. He even tried to make it as obvious as possible to the onlooking fools. Every time his gills disappeared off of his skin, he’d touch himself, feeling the weird sensation of smooth, closed skin. When he wasn’t in water, it wasn’t like he was using them. For the short time of the illusion, he felt like he was suffocating. It wasn’t an oxygen thing, it was more the anxiety of thinking of a life without gills, a life of being a land dweller. After a few minutes of dancing underwater, Roxy emerged, and Eridan quickly reversed the illusion and gained his sense of identity back.
As long as he convinced himself that everyone was cheering at his skills to pull these tricks off seamlessly, and not over their amazement at the bogus magic, he could enjoy himself during the show. Afterwards, he usually became surly after hearing patrons say magic far too many times.
This night, it really got to him, possibly because it really took a lot of effort to be on his best behaviour. When he and Roxy got back to their dressing room, he let out a shout of “MAGIC AIN’T REAL” before slamming his science stick down on the table and flopping down in a pile of shitty broken wands.
Roxy had a skill for calming him down after their shows. She was so good at it, that Eridan frequently worried that she was waning pale of him, but time and time again, she assured him that, even though she grew up assimilated into troll culture, she would never be able to find the line between pale and flushed, and that it was all the same to her. It wasn’t the worst to have two of his quadrants filled by one person, but it sure felt a little weird.
After she changed out of her costume and into some comfy cats pajamas (which she called her at print pajamas simply so should could say “It’s the cats pajamas!”), she put a blanket over half of the wand pile and curled up with Eridan. Even with the padding, troll piles of junk were never really comfortable, and she never understood why anyone lounged in them at all. But, it was where Eridan liked to snuggle, and it was a million times less gross than sinking into a recuperacoon, so she put up with it.
Roxy held his hand and gave him sweet little pecks on his face. “Magic ain’t real, hon, and it should only matter to you that I agree with you, k? Let everyone else be dumb and let them have their fun.” He squeezed her hand back and most of his stress started to float away. As long as she was on his side, really, that’s all that mattered. And as long as he didn’t know that she was lying, that she knew it was magic and that he was being a real butt, everything would be fine.