Chapter Text
One of the last things Vi expected when she came home that evening was her wife Caitlyn bottle-feeding an unfamiliar baby.
In fact, it was so unexpected that she had almost reached their bedroom before she fully processed what she had seen. Vi stopped in the middle of the hall, her eyes going wide before she pivoted and rushed back to the main hall. Sure enough, there she was, and there was the infant.
She slowly entered the main hall, moving with cautious unease.
“Uh cupcake, what’s that?” she asked, gesturing to the child she didn’t recognize.
“A baby,” Caitlyn replied, the hint of a smile on her lips.
Vi rolled her eyes. “Okay, what’s it doing here? Whose baby is it?”
“She was dropped off at the station today; they asked if I could look after her while they investigate that very question. I said yes.”
The baby shifted away from the bottle and began to fuss. Caitlyn gently placed the the infant on her shoulder and began to pat her tiny back gently. Vi still looked utterly bewildered.
“Why would you say yes to that?”
“I don’t know, I suppose I enjoyed the idea of caring for a child, and I had the means to pay for all the supplies she could need. I didn’t really have a reason to say no.”
“Uh yeah you did, you never asked your wife about bringing a kid into the home you share with her?”
Caitlyn for the first time fully realized just how upset Vi was.
“I suppose I assumed you would understand.”
Vi gritted her teeth and clenched her fists.
“And what the hell is that supposed to mean huh?”
Caitlyn quickly bit her tongue before she said aloud the phrase 'fellow orphan.'
“The was you describe Vander, he’s clearly a man worth emulating. When I saw this little girl I couldn’t help but think about Vander’s choice when he saw you and Ji- Powder. I couldn’t say no after that.”
The infant finally burped, spitting up a little as she did. Caitlyn lowered her and began to rock her gently. The femme was too focused on the conversation to mind the spit up.
Vi had still not relaxed at all.
“So that’s what you took away from my real-life past? Vander was some kind of savior and now you’re supposed to be too? Do you see me as someone to save too with all your money and Piltover social power?”
Caitlyn now stood as she frantically shook her head. She approached her wife quickly, but Vi was still staring at the infant as she took several steps back.
“Vi, please, no, I know you don’t need saving. I know there was complexity to Vander. I’m not this child’s savior, just a temporary guardian.”
“I need some air,” the pink haired butch huffed, shoving her hands in her pockets as she stormed back out the front door.
Caitlyn slumped back onto the couch, still confused and overwhelmed by what had just transpired. She didn’t have a chance to think about it long before the baby started fussing again and Caitlyn had to focus on her. Still, in the back of her head she began to craft her apology to Vi.
Once outside Vi covered her face with her hands and let out a strangled scream through gritted teeth. She wanted to cry, she wanted to hit something, she wanted to be held she wanted to fight, what the fuck was going on? Why was she feeling like this?
She managed to make it to their more private garden courtyard before collapsing to her knees and finally crying.
“Why the fuck did you leave her there? She doesn’t deserve that! I didn’t deserve that! Why the fuck did you leave me!” Vi was folded over and gripping her own shoulders tightly as she sobbed. She started to hyperventilate as a panic attack set in.
Vi sat up and let her head fall back as she tried to collect herself. It took several minutes of repeating a mantra Caitlyn taught her when she woke up from PTSD-fueled nightmares.
“You’re okay, you’re alright, you’re loved, you’re safe, you matter,” she murmured over and over again until her breathing slowed and she believed the words she was saying. With a final deep breath, Vi rose shakily to her feet. She slunk back to the door and eased herself slowly back inside.
“Cupcake?” she called.
Suddenly a blur of indigo and purple darted around the corner and tightly embraced her.
Vi was surprised at first but soon wrapped her arms around her wife in return.
“I’m sorry, I should have asked if that was alright, I just, I’m so worried about you. I haven’t seen you that upset in along time,” Caitlyn admitted, pulling away slightly as she tried to look into Vi’s cloud colored eyes for more information.
“You’ve only grown sweeter with age cupcake, I swear.”
Vi looked like she was flickering between every emotion in quick succession, and it exhausted her. Still the smile that cracked her lips was clearly genuine.
“I absolutely should have asked what you thought before I brought her here, this is your home too. I should have thought through the fact that even if I was her only caretaker, she’d be difficult to ignore at best.”
Vi kissed Caitlyn’s cheek. “I still should have controlled myself better, the little one’s already probably had enough scary things happen around her. Being separated from your parent like that is hard enough.”
Caitlyn looked away and swallowed. It had been a few years now and the loss of her mom still struck her with intense emotions out of the blue. Little things would trigger a memory and she’d get fixated. Admittedly, she had been thinking about Cassandra most of the day. It was hard not to when staring at at a baby.
“Well we still have hope the separation will only be temporary. As far as we know she not part of our little tragic dead moms club,” Caitlyn replied, a hint of determination glinted in her eyes.
“If her parents are still alive, they might not want to be found,” Vi said a little more quietly.
“Well then we owe it to her to find her siblings, her grandparents, her cousins, or at the very least a community, her parents’ community so she’ll always know who they were.”
Violet had to look away, it was her turn to get a choked up.
“Fuck Cupcake, you’re gonna make me cry again.” Vi took a deep breath. “Alright you convinced me, we can support the little honey until we figure out a better long term plan for her.”
“Honey, I like it,” Caitlyn said taking her wife’s hand and leaning on her shoulder with her eyes closed.
“What?” Vi asked, brushing the hair from Caitlyn’s face.
“No name was left with her, I’d been looking for a nickname to call her until we find out her proper name. Honey is a good fit. It matches the color of her eyes.”
“Hey Cupcake?”
“Yes?” Caitlyn picked up her head again to look at Vi.
“Can I uh, can I try meeting Honey again?”
Caitlyn grinned and nodded. “Of course you can, she’s in a bassinet in the sitting room, come on.”
Caitlyn guided her wife forward, leading her by their intertwined hands. Caitlyn let go when she reached the infant, glancing several times between her and her wife with hope.
Vi cocked her head as she stared down at the baby. Honey was gently kicking her little legs; her head turned from side to side to follow movement as she noticed it.
“Offer her your finger, Vi,” Caitlyn murmured softly.
Vi swallowed and slowly lowered her hand near the infant. Honey gurgled and closed her small fist around Vi’s index finger. A smile gradually spread across Vi’s face. “Hi baby, I hope I didn’t scare you too much before.”
Slowly the infant turned to look up at Vi. “Wow you’re right her eyes really are the color of honey,” Vi marveled.
Caitlyn’s heart was practically ready to burst from how precious the scene before her was. There was nothing quite like watching your wife interact with a baby to remind you just how much you love her.
“Do you want to hold her?” Caitlyn asked.
Vi shook her head. “Maybe in a little bit. She seems happy right now, I don’t want to upset her.”
Caitlyn walked over and kissed her wife on the back of her head as Vi continued to stare at the baby.
“I‘ll go get dinner started if you can stay here and watch her.”
Vi shifted to look at Caitlyn as she tried to hide her anxiety. “Um, yeah, I think I can do that, but don’t go any further away than the kitchen for now please? In case she decides she doesn’t like me?”
“If I hear her crying I’ll come to your aid right away.”
Vi sighed in relief. “I know it’s kinda pathetic to be scared of a baby but like, look at how the last kid I looked after turned out.”
Caitlyn frowned. “Alright we are definitely unpacking that after our meal, but for now remember you’re more than a decade older at the moment, and Powder’s primary caretaker for a long time was Silco, which could upset anyone’s sense of self.”
“I’m still glad you’re here to help me learn how to do this better, cupcake,” Vi countered.
“If you want to stay up late reading parenting books with me you’re more than welcome to,” Caitlyn teased, but she gave Vi a peck on the lips and added more quietly, “I’m grateful you’re here to help me learn too.”
She headed off the kitchen, leaving Vi alone in the sitting room. Once again, the butch had to take a deep breath to steady herself.
“It’s only for a little bit, Caitlyn is nearby, you can’t break the baby that easily, you’re an adult now, you’re going to be ok,” Vi reassured herself under her breath. She flopped onto the couch and slowly scooted over to where Honey was resting. She appeared to have fallen asleep, which Vi didn’t dare interrupt.
Caitlyn enjoyed cooking and found it relaxing; it was probably a distraction she needed right now. Vi was determined to give her that distraction, even if it meant being alone with the baby for awhile. So what should she do now while she sat around waiting for Honey to wake up?
On the coffee table in front of her were several stacks of books. Sorting through them they all seemed to about child development and psychology. These were probably the parenting books Caitlyn was talking about. Unfortunately they all looked extremely dense; long words in tiny font without any diagrams to break things up. One book was labeled in large font “intergenerational trauma” and Vi was especially careful to steer clear of it. She didn’t doubt it’d be helpful, she just didn’t want to think anymore about her parents than she already was at the moment.
Near the bottom of one of the piles she finally pulled out a child development 101 book that had a few charts, tables, and easier to understand lists.
From what she was reading Vi guessed the baby must be at least 4 months old. She tried to think back to her own peers back in the lanes. Perhaps Caitlyn was right, maybe there was someone out there who was still looking for the baby. Wouldn’t she have been separated sooner if she really had no one? Someone must have taking care of her for all those months. Someone who probably still cared about her. Vi tried to think of ways she could offer to help in this search. Caitlyn was a better detective, but if this baby was from Zaun, Vi hoped she’d be able to see the connections her partner might otherwise miss. Given the number of fellow orphans Vi had known growing up compared to the number she found wandering around Piltover, she assumed Honey was from the undercity like she was, but anything felt possible at this point.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the soft sounds of Honey waking up and beginning to fuss. Vi got up and stood over the bassinet again try to asses what she needed. The book had said each of her cries should be becoming distinct, but that didn’t help much with a child you just met. Luckily a smell answered Vi’s question quickly. Okay, changing, that was simple enough. She just had to figure out where Caitlyn kept the diapers.
Vi took a deep breath and carefully picked up Honey. The infant’s face was still scrunched in distress but she quieted a little at the contact.
“Alright Honey, let’s figure this out together.”
Vi held Honey tight against her body as she walked. Her arms cradled her protectively, as if shielding her instinctively.
They enter the kitchen just as Caitlyn dumped a large bowl of vegetables into a pan already frying aromatics.
“Shit, cupcake, that smells incredible,” Vi said as she approached her partner while still keeping Honey far away from the stove.
Caitlyn grinned wiped the sweat from her brown with a kitchen towel before beginning to stir the now full pan. “What’s up darling?” she asked over the sounds of sizzling.
“Oh uh right, well it’s concerning a different smell actually. Did you get diapers? If so where can I find them?”
“The spare bedroom next to ours that we’d mostly been using for storage is where I put all the baby supplies. The changing table is already all set up.”
Vi raised an eyebrow, “Rich people have tables just for changing babies?”
Caitlyn turned to look at her wife with a smirk. “Oh we have special tables for everything my love. Remember when I taught you what a credenza was?”
They both laughed, and the sound made Honey start to fuss again.
“Alright I’ll go to try to figure this out, but you’ll have to double check my work before we eat.”
“As long as it’s in roughly the right place, I’ll remain just grateful for your help,” Caitlyn assured Vi, setting aside the wooden spoon so she could walk over and give her wife a kiss on the nose. Caitlyn paused before leaning forward and giving Honey a kiss on the forehead as well.
“I believe in you my darling,” she said as she turned to resume cooking.
“That makes one of us,” Vi muttered as she exited the kitchen and headed to the bedroom that had apparently become Honey’s room.
Luckily for Vi, there were only three objects in the room that were unpacked and ready for an infant. One was clearly a crib, one was a fence on the ground full of soft baby toys, which meant the last object was most likely the changing table. Setting Honey on top, Vi began to dig around for diapers. To her surprise, instead of coming across the cloth ones she was use to in Zaun, Caitlyn had found some sort of fancy paper-y ones with little adhesive strips rather than pins. Rich people really could find anything they set their mind to, she supposed.
When Vi managed to get Honey out of her little romper, she saw the baby was wearing one of these odd diapers too. Vi tried to be careful how she tore at the adhesive, but still managed to rip things in a way that made her job more difficult. Luckily Caitlyn had prepared a jar of soaked paper napkins to clean the infant up with, and Vi managed to find the baby powder fairly easily.
Each step took a few tries but Honey was a fairly easygoing child, and Vi quickly discovered all she needed was a toy to distract her.
Soon Vi cheered and triumphantly lifted a clean infant, who giggled excitedly at the motion. Vi smiled in return. She tried bouncing her gently, which erupted in more giggles.
“Oh so you’re a fellow little dare devil huh? Maybe we’ll get along better than I thought!”
She brought her in close and tickled one her little arms. Honey flailed and squealed excitedly.
“Let’s go see how Caitlyn’s managing with dinner.”
Vi first checked the kitchen, finding only food that looked ready to be served. She then poked her head into the dinning room to see Caitlyn setting the table. For the first time Vi noticed a new high chair for Honey.
“Why are we being so fancy tonight? You normally only set the table when we have someone over,” Vi asked, walking towards the highchair and gently setting Honey inside it.
Caitlyn blushed a little and nodded to Honey. “Well we do, it’s her first night with us. I thought it would be a nice to sit down and share this moment together in a meaningful way.”
“Aw cupcake, that’s kinda sweet,” Vi admitted, give her wife a light peck on the lips.
“I know she’s not really forming conscious memories, but she’s starting to piece together what it means to be in this world, and I want to show her the meaning of connection with people you care about.”
Caitlyn was looking at Vi as she talked about Honey. The pink haired butch took a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair.
“Okay yeah I hear you, I hear what you’re saying to both of us.”
Vi chuckled and Caitlyn’s expression furrowed slightly in confusion.
“Is this how you’re gonna express all your concerns about my childhood now?” Vi teased with a wide smirk.
Caitlyn laughed, “Not all of them.”
“Well let’s go get the dinner you worked so hard on and you can apply all your new child psychology over our meal.” Vi stretched on her tiptoes to kiss her wife’s forehead.
Caitlyn was still smiling as she nodded, and together they brought in a large curry-style dish over rice and a few extra veggie sides. She’d boiled and smashed Honey’s portion of veggies, and between bites, Caitlyn tested what the infant seemed to like and dislike.
Vi couldn’t help but admire the way her wife patiently and gently approached each spoonful. Caitlyn never forced Honey to take a bite, she instead worked to engage the baby’s curiosity about the food, including taking small bites herself. Vi caught herself stopping to stare, a wide goofy grin spreading across her face each time. Whenever Caitlyn noticed, she returned the smile, her eyes expressing the love and devotion she felt for Vi.
After dinner Vi offered to take care of all the cleaning up if Caitlyn could take care of Honey. When the butch was finished she walked out to find Caitlyn reading to a very sleepy infant.
“Could you prepare her bottle, Vi?” Caitlyn whispered to her wife so as not to disturb the baby in her arms too much.
Vi stared blankly back, blinking a few times. It made sense that she’d have a bottle, she’d seen Caitlyn using one early but what was she supposed to put in the bottle? It probably wasn’t just the normal milk adults drank right?
Caitlyn realized Vi probably wasn’t familiar with the baby formula she herself had only learned about today. Carefully, Caitlyn rose from the couch, and as she passed Vi she gestured for her wife to follow her.
Once the kitchen, Caitlyn spoke again.
“If I explain everything, can you be my hands? I worry she’ll wake up more if I set her down now.”
Vi nodded. “Of course cupcake, what should I do first?”
“Get a pot of water boiling,” Caitlyn explained, rocking Honey gently. Vi already knew where all the cookware was, so this step was easy for her.
“Okay, next.”
“Next you need a bottle and little rubber nipple. I put them by our everyday glasses.”
Vi opened the cabinet and immediately found them. “Okay, now what?”
“Now grab the milk from the fridge and the jar labeled formula from the cupboard where I keep flour and sugar.”
Vi followed the directions and peered up for further guidance.
“I’ve already prepared the formula with all the correct nutrients. You just need to pour the milk in until it’s about half full, add 2 tablespoons of formula, and then add water until it’s three quarters full.”
Vi, who was normally much more of the big picture type, measured everything out slowly and carefully. Caitlyn was impressed at the show of maturity and concern.
“Okay, now put your finger over the nipple and shake it until it’s well mixed.”
Vi threw in a good humored wink as she did so. Caitlyn rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. The silent innuendo was appreciated.
By now the bottle was at a boil, and Caitlyn instructed Vi to take it off the heat. While they waited for it to cool down to near body temperature, Vi walked over, set her head on Caitlyn’s shoulder and wrapped her arm around the small of her wife’s back. Caitlyn leaned her head against Vi’s and closed her eyes for a moment. The shorter butch was finally beginning to feel a little more at ease about this whole 'being around a baby' thing.
“Can you check the water temperature, my love?” Caitlyn whispered. Vi picked her head up and nodded as she walked over. Carefully dipping a finger in, she confirmed it was a safe temperature.
“Go ahead and set the bottle in it.”
Vi did so and then looked up for further instructions.
“Now we wait again.”
Vi returned to her side, peering up into her wife’s shining sapphire eyes.
“You’re such a natural, cupcake. I never understood the idea that morherhood was beautiful until I watched you today.”
Caitlyn’s entire expression was awash in love as she turned towards her wife.
“Violet,” she murmured breathlessly. Carefully leaning to not disturb Honey, their lips met in a brief but passion filled kiss.
“I love you so much Caitlyn,” Vi said softly, reaching up to touch the other’s face.
“I love you too Vi,” Caitlyn nuzzled into the touch a little more.
Soon the bottle was warm enough and they retired together to their bedroom where Caitlyn fed Honey until she fell sound asleep. Carefully, she carried the baby into her room where she cracked the door to ensure they’d hear her if she woke up and started crying at all.
Tiptoeing back to her own room, Caitlyn grinned at her wife who was waiting on their bed.
“Now the rest of the evening is ours.”
Vi laughed. “Ours if we stay quiet enough, that is.”
Caitlyn flopped onto the bed beside her.
“Come here, I haven’t had a chance to properly hold you all day.”
Vi laid down and shifted closer to her wife, kissing her before bringing her head to rest on Caitlyn’s chest. The taller femme wrapped her arms around Vi and hummed softly, “I missed this.”
“Me too,” Vi whispered softly.