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A Vision is an indicator of the Vision holder’s wellbeing. To carry around the physical manifestation of the Gods’ acknowledgement is a feat in and of itself, but it carries far more intimate secrets than the normal mortal could possibly fathom.
A Vision is as synonymous as the Vision holder’s heart. There is a delicate thrum and beating that one can hear and feel upon closer inspection, the miracle of life showing its blessings for all to see. Its bright colors are an indication of that person’s life force.
Kaeya’s Vision, Diluc finds, is eerily close to fading out.
There’s blood everywhere. Even when Diluc can’t see it on his own clothes, he can see it on Kaeya’s. He’s familiar with the smell, even when he can’t see it on his own person. Kaeya is nearly covered from head to toe, his clothes nearly stained with the color that matches Diluc’s person.
He runs with Kaeya in his arms, runs from the catastrophe that is happening all around them.
A healer. He needs to find Barbara or Jean. Surely they can patch up Kaeya, heal every wound and stop the bleeding. Surely, they must!
That’s all Diluc can focus on as he runs past the Abyss creatures that nearly claw at him. There’s a commotion behind him, a flurry of arrows and the crack of thunder. The air is near suffocating, the elements in complete disarray.
“Diluc, slow down–” Kaeya coughs out, barely holding onto Diluc with one hand. All of the energy has been drawn out of him. He couldn’t even lift a finger when Diluc gathered him into his arms. But with whatever strength he has left in him, Kaeya holds onto Diluc.
“Shut up,” Diluc snaps. It comes out harsher than intended, and he even flinches at his own voice before quickly adding on, “We need to find Barbara or Jean. They’re the only ones who can stop the bleeding.”
It was a mistake bringing Kaeya onto the battlefield when the Abyss had intended to target him from the very beginning. Diluc had insisted that Kaeya stayed behind, and yet… And yet..!
Diluc barely manages to take a quick glance at Kaeya’s vision while he runs. It doesn’t make him feel good watching the icy blue of his Cryo Vision constantly fade in and out, as if Kaeya is slowly on the verge of dying. Every time Diluc catches a glimpse of the empty void of the Vision shell as it fades from blue to gray, there’s a prayer that begins to go off in his head.
When was the last time Diluc had grown this desperate?
He remembers the last time he felt like this, the feeling of hopelessness and desperation that blurs into each other that you can’t pick them apart. He remembers the blood that was on his hands that day, he remembers how he watched the light in his father’s eyes disappear as Diluc took his life.
Diluc is all too familiar with the claws of death.
And he realizes with horrifying clarity that he’s watching another one of his loved ones be brought into its dangerous embrace.
“Kaeya, stay with me, please,” Diluc whispers desperately, so quietly he’s not even sure if his brother heard him.
A weak laugh bubbles from the man he’s holding.
“Diluc, do you remember the day father died?” Kaeya asks suddenly. It nearly knocks the breath out of Diluc.
“Why are you asking such a ridiculous question?”
You should be saving your breath.
“I wanted to mourn that day. Mourn with you,” Kaeya mumbles, his words coming out breathy. His chest heaves with every breath he takes and Diluc holds onto him tighter.
“No more talking,” He insists as he continues to run. He runs faster than before, ignoring the ache in his legs and the fact that he’s running out of breath himself. Kaeya seems to realize this, he always was able to read Diluc like an open book, even when they were kids, even now as adults.
Time could never break the connection they have.
Diluc runs until, finally, he sees the familiar faces of Jean and Barbara, and yells out to them. They turn to him, the expressions on their faces changing the moment they see the state both men are in, and break into a run.
“Was it wrong of me to not mourn with you?” Kaeya asks as Diluc starts to slow his running as the Gunnhildr sisters come towards them. “I wonder what I could have changed that day. What I could have done had I come faster. I should’ve been there for you as you mourn our father. Instead, I did the opposite. I only added to your grief instead.”
Diluc grits his teeth, feeling the strength leave him. He drops to his knees, still holding Kaeya close to his chest.
“No more of that,” Diluc rasps, fighting back the burning sensation in his eyes. He focuses his gaze on Kaeya’s vision.
It’s starting to rapidly fade out more, on the cusp of starting to flicker. Diluc’s heart nearly stops.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Barbara and Jean are going to help you.” He’s babbling now, almost as if it’s an acat of trying to reassure Kaeya, reassure himself. Diluc shakily brings a hand up to brush Kaeya’s hair out of his good eye. “You’re going to be okay, Kaeya. Everything is going to be okay.”
This mantra doesn’t do much to calm down Diluc, much less does it sound reassuring to either man. Kaeya weakly chuckles, looking up at Diluc. It takes all of Diluc’s willpower not to look away, even as Kaeya struggles to breathe and he can see the sweat beading on his forehead with the effort to keep his pain at bay.
He’s hurting all over. Diluc knows it’s taking everything in him to not give into the pain.
He’s always been good at hiding everything. He’s always–
“Diluc… do you hate me?”
He nearly reels away from Kaeya after hearing that question.
“What…?” Diluc is nearly speechless.
“Do you hate me… for what happened all those years ago…?” Kaeya barely manages. “For being a spy… for not being there for you… Do you hate me, Diluc?”
The world comes to a halt as Kaeya repeats his question. It all focuses on the two of them, even with the war raging on behind them, even when the muffled voices of Barbara and Jean come in. Diluc feels a sudden warmth take over, but when he looks down at the wounds on Kaeya’s body, he realizes that his brother feels colder than ever.
The bleeding has stopped, but it’s too late.
“No. No, I don’t hate you, Kaeya.” Diluc’s voice comes out as a warble, almost inaudible even to himself. But he sees the way Kaeya barely moves in his hold, as if he’s urging Diluc to continue talking. So, he does.
“I’ve never hated you, not once in my life. I’m sorry, Kaeya. I’m sorry for how I treated you all those years ago. You didn’t deserve that treatment from your only family, the only person you trusted.” Diluc feels something warm fall down his cheek, but he continues. “I should’ve been there for you, too. But I left you here all alone without an ounce of my whereabouts or my wellbeing. I’ve failed you as an older brother.
“There is nothing in this world that can ever make me hate you. Even then, I should’ve realized it then–that regardless of the duty laid upon you from a young age, you had already chosen me. You had already chosen Mondstadt. I should’ve realized that…!”
But the realization has come far too late.
Kaeya’s Vision rarely looks blue anymore. The voidless gray has become all the more apparent.
Even being on the verge of death, Kaeya manages a weak smile.
“Already chose you, huh…?” He repeats, laying his head against Diluc’s chest. Diluc wraps his arms around him in turn, bringing him in closer. He rests a head on the back of Kaeya’s head for support, and he can’t help the sob that leaves him. “That’s certainly one way of putting it… But in the end, you and father chose me too, didn’t you?”
Diluc nods, closing his eyes. Tears freely flow down his cheeks now as the gravity of the situation suddenly closes in on him. With every fleeting second, it no longer feels like Kaeya is there.
“Does that mean… that we’re good now?”
Diluc manages a sound that sounds like a light laugh, even with his brother slipping from life itself right in his arms. This situation is all too familiar.
“Yes. We’re good now, Kaeya.”
Years ago, Diluc was in this exact position. Years ago as he held his dying father in his arms, the rain began to pour down. It was as if the world itself was mourning the loss of his father, and the loss of his and Kaeya’s relationship as he severed it right before both of their eyes.
But now, there is no rain. There is reprieve from the world to mourn the loss of his brother, only the raging flames of war as it reached every corner of Teyvat. Diluc finds it suffocating.
“That’s good, that’s good,” Kaeya says quietly. Diluc can feel him weakly lean into his chest and he only holds onto him tighter.
“Diluc, you’ve always been so warm…” His brother sighs.
When Diluc opens his eyes to look at Kaeya, he’s instead met with the voidless gray where Kaeya’s Vision originally was. The icy blue that one inhabited it was no longer there, all signs of it having vanished in an instant.
All around Diluc, he can hear sobbing. He looks up just enough to see Jean and Barbara, tears running down both of their faces as they look down at the ground.
Kaeya never needed the rain to mourn for him. Not when there are people around him mourning for him with their tears instead.
Diluc looks at Kaeya’s face. His brother has closed his eye, his lips still curved into that weak smile he flashed at Diluc moments before. Looking at Kaeya now, Diluc has never seen his brother more at peace than he does now. No longer will he be in pain, no longer will he be burdened with the duty placed on him as a child.
Diluc closes his eyes and presses his forehead against the top of Kaeya’s head. His body shakes with the effort of keeping himself together, even as the tears continue to run down his cheeks.
All of the love that Diluc has known in his life has slipped from his grasp.
And as he holds Kaeya’s lifeless body close to him, the last of the love he has ever known is gone forever, lost to the wind.
And he can never get it back.