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"I-it's not..a bite. I'm.. I don't think-"
"Glenn. Glenn I.. Listen I pray you're right. I do. I want you to be right. God I want that. But you said to me, you said that you weren't sure. And now.. Glenn you're sweating and still shaking. That wound.. Yeah it could be from the fence, but it could be a scratch as well. If you have fever-"
"I'm just upset!! I don't have any fever! Rick please!"
"Hey hey shh. Calm down. You could very well be just upset but I need to know if you have fever. You feel warm, but it could be as you say as well. But we need to make sure.. If..if it is a scratch then.. Then we quickly need to do something-"
"You're not taking my arm!! No! Listen I'm not-"
"Glenn. I need to make sure. Now Hershel gave me thermometer that.. Well he said he used it on the girls when they were small. It's the only one they have. Just let me check you temperature alright?"
"Jeez dude.. I'm.. O-ok.. Ok. So.. Just.. J-just to be sure then. But I'm telling you it's not the fever."
"Alright alright. Just let's do this ok? And it's ok I did this all the time with Carl. How do you want to do this?"
"Uuh.. It's just to put it under the tongue right..?"
Rick sighed. Of course. Of course they kid would think they had a modern thermometer. Most did anyway. Was he in for a surprise.
"No.. It's not that kind of thermometer kid."
"Oh.. Oh! In my ear? Awesome, it'll just take a secon-"
"It has to been taken rectal."
Total silence. If the kid's eyes would budge out anymore they'd fall out for sure.
"WHAT?!?"
Rick swore his ears started to ring after the shriek of denial the kid let out.
"Nooooo nononononoononono! NO! No way dude! There is no way I'm gonna put t-that up.. Just no! Forget it!"
"Glenn. We need to make sure. I'll help-"
"WOAH NO! What the HELL are you talking about?! Ok you know what? Just forget this!"
Glenn backpedaled so fast Rick was worried he would trip over his feet.
"Glenn-"
"Tha fuck ya two doin'?! Ya scared off all the squirrels with yer hollering! Tha fuck you screamin' 'bout?"
Daryl more or less stomped up to them, crossbow over his shoulder and looking like he was ready to throttle both of them.
"Daryl, jesus I forgot you were huntin'. Sorry but Glenn could be ill-"
"I'm not ill! And you're not sticking anything up-"
"Fuckin' 'ell shortround, ya do look like roadkill. Fuck ya been doin'?"
"Nothing!!"
"Listen Daryl. On the run in to town we ran into trouble. Glenn.. He hurt his arm. It could be a scratch from a fence we had to jump over but.. There were alot of walkers.. Some grabbed him and.. Well he's sweating and-"
"Ya got bit?! Fuckin'.. Kid we need ta fix that arm now."
"NO! I'm telling you-"
"Daryl we don't know for sure, but we were gonna check his temperature to make sure he doesn't have any fever.. That's what we were talking about."
"Ya were screeching like tha' 'cause of checking a fever?"
"He wants to stick it up my ass!"
Glenn's voice went up to that glass-shattering volume again and both Rick and Daryl had to cringe.
"Fuck kid ya never gotten yer temperature checked before? There's nothin' to it the hell are ya gettin' so worked up 'bout??"
Rick had to admit he was a bit shocked at the usually grumpy redneck's indifference about this, and that he was actually supporting Rick.
"You..! Y-you two have gone crazy! Dude there is NO way..! J-just forget it. I'm not gonna-"
"Glenn we need to. I'm not gonna let this go. We are checking your temperature. Now we can get this over quickly or-"
There certainly was nothing wrong with the kid's reflexes because he sprung to life in half a second, trying to bolt. Daryl was quick too though. And before Rick could end his sentence the redneck had blocked Glenn's escape and wrestled him down on his stomach on the ground.
Sitting on the kid's back with his own back facing the kids behind, keeping his arms pinned against his sides with his knees.
Glenn screamed in horror, bucking and kicking his legs.
Daryl didn't even blink as he pulled down the kid's jeans and underwear just so that he uncovered the buttocks.
"Fuck shortround stop yer hollering! Yer makin' it worse. Jus' git it done Rick."
Rick almost wished he had a camera because the sight was shocking, disturbing and somehow hilarious at the same time. But he quickly remember that this was a serious situation.
If Glenn had the fever.. He need to do this and as he had said earlier this was not anything new to him, they'd always used a rectal thermometer when Carl was sick.
Granted Carl never made such a fuss about it.
Rick brought out the thermometer and quickly checked that it was at its lowest before getting down on his knees beside Glenn and Daryl.
He had to duck as Glenn aimed a kick at his head, but luckily the pants and underwear that were pulled down to his thighs made it hard for him to move.
Rick sighed as he used one arm to hold those flailing limbs down, and then bent the knees somewhat so that the kid's behind stuck up a bit.
With no further ado he carefully pushed the thermometer inside, cringing as the kid's buttocks tensed so much that he was worried the thermometer would break in half. The pitiful whimpers coming from the kid made Rick feel bad, but this was for his own sake.
Even Daryl must've felt a bit bad because he awkwardly patted Glenn's hip while murmuring something soothing under his breath.
The kid's whole body quivered in shame and he let out a sob of embarrassment as the cool instrument was inserted as far as it would go.
The 2 minutes that it took to take the temperature felt like hours, and the two men holding Glenn murmured some words of comfort now and then to the distraught kid.
Finally Rick decided it was enough and gave Glenn a warning pat on his thigh before extracting the thermometer, holding his breath as he checked the results.
98.6 F. No fever.
"Jesus Christ Almighty.. Thank you Lord.."
Rick closed his eyes in relief, hearing Daryl give out a sigh of relief too.
"There ya go kid, yer fine. I told ya there's nothin' to it. Jesus ya sure can put up a fuss-oof!"
Well obviously Glenn didn't share their relief if the elbow to Daryl's gut, and the panicked scrabbling for his pants was anything to go by.
"Y-you assholes! No wait! Don't ever say that word again..! I can't believe you stuck that up my..! I told you I didn't have any fever!! You you both...suck!! Dude!"
The poor kid's face was scarlet, hands shaking as he rolled over to his back and pulled up his pants.
"Tha fuck?! Did ya jus' elbow me ya little shit?! C'mere!!"
And it was on.
This time when Daryl half tackled the kid he let him stay on his back, which Rick suppose was a small mercy as the redneck attacked the kid's ribs.
And suddenly Glenn's yelps turned into breathless laughing.
Well. That was one way to make him forget his worries.
-End