Work Text:
There is nothing but pieces for Chuuya to pick up. Dazai leaving him-abandoning them behind him- has shattered his heart into little pieces. Of course, there are no them now. Only Chuuya. The shards are all he has left of his former partner.
He had just started to trust Dazai not to leave, to stay. Only for him to turn around, betray him, and leave him without a word. No letter, no phone call, not even a half-assed note. Is that all I meant to you? He wanted to scream at his former partner who had only confirmed his greatest fears.
Chuuya had wanted nothing more than to destroy everything in his apartment. The black leather couch Dazai and he used to snuggle on when they watched movies together. The faux fur blanket that Dazai would hog and Chuuya would try to tug moreover to his side. He wanted to take a baseball bat to the little picture frames of him and Dazai as Dazai held his hat over his head. He wants to watch the pieces of glass shatter and scatter over the white carpet.
Chuuya wants to burn down the kitchen where they used to spend so much time together. Dazai used to sneak in and steal his leftovers from his fridge. Chuuya would hit him in the head with a wooden spoon and complain that he was stealing his food. Still, Chuuya would cook for his partner and always left the table set for two. Dazai would irritate him by sitting on countertops and “tasting” his food. By “tasting” his food, Dazai would actually eat as much as he could until Chuuya slapped the back of his head.
Chuuya stares too hard at his reflection in his bedroom mirror. God, it hurt being in this room the most. Too many nights he had spent cooped up with his other half in his bedroom. They would bicker and laugh and just talk for hours on end. Dazai had made him believe that Nakahara Chuuya could be human. Yet, here he was stripped of any of the love that made him human. Dazai left him the grief, sadness, and rage to wallow in. Chuuya would drown in it a little longer, but he would pick himself up, lock that rage up for another time, and continue to move forward. If Dazai could move on without him, so could he.