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Stiles didn’t hide this on purpose, there just wasn’t a good time to tell him. Doing this friends with benefits thing with an alpha werewolf maybe wasn’t the best idea but how could he ever say no to Derek?
Sure, he had feelings for the man, and this could only end in heartbreak because hey, who would be interested in a long time thing with him of all people? He knew how annoying he could be. He wasn’t even sure how his dad had put up with him all these years.
But this has gone on for far too long, the scent blocker and the bracelet that he has been wearing for the past month could only do so much from hiding his not so little secret. Stiles may have or may not have freaked out when a couple of weeks ago he had woken up feeling sick, rushing to the washroom several times in the morning while his lower back started to ache and he was just so tired all the time.
The exhaustion he was used to, but after it happening over and over again he had to drag himself to Deaton to make sure it wasn’t a freaky supernatural thing first before going to Melissa to get checked out. He had only stared at Deaton when Deaton had only told him the news that it was in fact a supernatural event.
“But I am a boy and boys can’t get pregnant doc,” Was the first thing he blurted out and Deaton only gave him a look before he muttered two words.
“Alpha werewolf Stiles.”
Okay maybe it was three words, but Stiles was freaking out. He was pregnant, knocked up, bun in the oven and he had no idea how the hell it happened. Deaton had only seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but there and Stiles was on the verge of a panic attack and it just was not a great time for either of them.
So Deaton gave him a bracelet to hide the baby’s heartbeat and the scent of pregnancy since that was also going to be a problem according to Deaton, because he sure as hell wasn’t ready to tell Derek. Deaton had respected that and had helped him and really, he owed the doc a lot for that.
But now he was starting to show and he knew maybe he shouldn’t put this off any longer unless he wanted Derek to feel like he wasn’t good enough. Knowing the werewolf he would think that anyway and Stiles wasn’t sure what the heck he was going to do. So, today was the day he thought to himself as he wrapped himself up in layers and set off towards Derek’s loft.
If he sat outside for longer than necessary no one needed to know that.
But his plan didn’t exactly go to plan.
“What the hell happened to you guys?” Stiles blurted as he took in the werewolves that only groaned in his direction.
“Don’t worry, we had it all handled,” Scott told him and Stiles only stomped down the feeling of betrayal of not being included. He was pack wasn’t he? Sometimes he didn’t feel like it even if Derek told him he was.
“Not really,” Erica said, “We do have one problem.”
“Which is?” Stiles asked and he noticed how all of them didn’t want to look him in the eye before Derek walked into the living room and Stiles immediately felt relieved that he was okay, “Derek! What are your puppies not telling me?”
“Who are you?” Derek asked and Stiles froze. Okay, what?
“Okay that’s a new one from you, playing the I don’t know you card. Hurtful Derek but okay. Just answer the damn question or I will shave off your caterpillars.”
Derek only looked at him with a glare that he hasn’t seen since they first met and wow okay, Stiles was actually starting to get worried.
“Stiles, don’t-” Scott started to warn before Stiles found himself slammed into the wall, his head smacking hard onto the brick wall as he grunted. He distantly heard growling a little too close for comfort before the weight was pulled off of him.
“Derek that is enough!”
“Stop it!”
Stiles slid to the ground, his arms immediately going to his stomach before he finally looked up to see Issac and Boyd struggling to push Derek back. The others were shouting words at him and Stiles winced as he rubbed the back of his head, that one was going to hurt.
“Derek lost his memory Stiles, we had to re-introduce ourselves and tell him we were pack,” Lydia told him as she helped him up and Stiles wasn’t sure what to think. He was going to tell him about their child. But he couldn't tell him with his memory gone.
“He isn’t pack!” Derek roared and Stiles felt like someone had slapped him.
“He is pack Derek, he is the only human to be part of our pack! So you will treat him like he is your pack member.”
Stiles had to remind himself that this wasn’t Derek, this was Derek who doesn’t remember him. Yeah, it stung but he had to try and push it to the side. Derek seemed to calm down from being all wolfed out to just staring at him in bewilderment and Stiles only groaned as he pushed himself away from the wall, which was definitely going to leave a big bruise.
“Wow you really weren’t kidding were you?” Stiles asked and the others only shook their heads. Well, there goes his plan to tell Derek. Just his luck.
“So, how exactly did grumpy over there lose his memory?” Stiles asked and the others winced as they looked at one another.
“May or may have not been a witch,” Scott mumbled and Stiles glared. How many times has he told his puppies to not play around with witches?
“You dealt with a witch, without me. See, this is what happens when you do things without me!”
“You have been off lately, we thought that you were tired and needed a break!”
“What?”
“You have been moody and I think everyone can see how tired you are Stiles,” Erica said softly and Stiles couldn’t help but to feel touched. So that was why they didn’t include him.
“Look, I know I have been kinda all over the place lately but this was still a witch. Did she say it was a curse or is it a spell that will wear off?”
“No freaking clue,” Isaac shrugged and Stiles felt his eye twitch.
“Did she say words when she flew magic at him?”
“Something about punishment?” Scott said and Stiles sighed.
“Then it will probably wear off, take him to Deaton first.”
Everyone nodded and Derek frowned. Stiles knew he was going to say something stupid or ask questions, it was inevitable at this point so he didn’t bother to tell the damn wolf not too. He knew the others expected him to make the most of this time to fuck around with Derek but he needed the wolf to be as normal as fast as possible.
He needed to know if Derek was going to turn him away or not, he couldn’t stand the thought process of his brain immediately going to straight doom. He needed to know and he would deal with the outcome even if he didn’t want to because he fell in love with grumpy, prickly Derek Hale who had a soft heart but refused to show it to other people.
Probably because of all the bad times he did. Thank you Kate and Jennifer, for making his life difficult, if you weren’t dead before, Stiles would make sure they would be now.
“Are you my mate?” Derek asked and Stiles choked as the others stared.
“W-what?” Stiles managed out after coughing a bit. Derek was going to kill him one of these days.
“The others listen to you as if you are the alpha’s mate.”
“No, we aren’t,” Stiles told him, he wanted to be. But he didn’t deserve someone as beautiful as Derek. He was just, carrying his child instead, because that totally made sense.
Derek frowned deepened before Boyd grabbed his arm and dragged him off before he could ask anymore questions. Stiles wasn’t even sure how to feel when Scott laughed lightly before he smiled at Stiles.
“Can you imagine? You two never get along.”
Only if Scotty knew.
“Look, just call me when he gets his memories back okay? It’s creepy and depressing that he barely remembers anything.”
“You sure you're okay?” Scott asked and Stiles nodded as he hugged his best friend.
“Yeah, just tired. I’m always tired these days.”
“If you need anyone to talk to, I’m here okay?”
Stiles smiled, “Yeah I know Scott.”
Scott nodded, satisfied with his answer before he left and Stiles sighed as he looked around the loft. Well, this got complicated and the only thing he could think of that would make sure the others didn’t know until Derek got his memory back was to stay away.
Anyway, he needed to have an awkward conversation with his dad. He was not looking forward to that at all.
“You’re pregnant,” HIs dad repeated and Stiles nodded slowly. It was a smart move to tell his dad to sit down because his dad grew pale as he stared at the table in disbelief. They sat in silence for a bit before his dad cleared his throat.
“This isn’t a joke right? Like, you aren’t punishing me for something are you?”
“What? Dad no! Why would I make this up?” Stiles spluttered and his dad only nodded slowly.
“Right….. Supernatural?”
“Pretty much yeah.”
His dad seemed to accept that as an answer but Stiles feared for what the next question was.
“And the father? Someone I know?”
Dammit, he should have known better then to think his dad would let it go, “Yep.”
“And who is it?”
“Promise not to shoot him?”
HIs dad glared, “Depending.”
“Well, that's the best I am gonna get I suppose then,” Stiles muttered before he took a deep breath, “It’s ua, it’s Derek.”
“As in Hale, Derek Hale?”
Shit, his father was furious. He panicked as Noah placed his hands on the table, about to stand up when Stiles blurted it out.
“He doesn’t even remember okay!? He doesn’t remember who anyone is anyway.”
That made his father pause, “What do you mean he doesn’t remember?”
“Just sit down dammit, I am already stressed out as it is and I swear I am gonna pass out if I have to deal with anymore bullshit.”
His father now only looked more worried as he got up and moved around the table, pulling Stiles into his arms and Stiles wanted to cry, he was barely holding back the tears when his dad pulled away but still kept contact.
“Tell me what’s happening kid.”
“The pack,” Stiles started before he swallowed, his eyes were burning but he was determined to get through this, “They went to deal with a witch by themselves like the idiots they are and,” Stiles had to stop to sniffle as a tear made its way down his cheek, “And Derek got hit by a spell that made him forget everything and I don’t even know how he is going to react or if he even wants it.”
His dad only frowned as he brushed the tears away, “What do you mean if he even wants it?”
“We aren’t in a relationship dad, it was kind of a,” He hesitated and his dad raised a brow.
“Spur of a moment thing?”
Stiles only hiccupped softly as he nodded and Noah only held him close again and Stiles felt like he was that little boy again who would always curl up in his dad’s lap whenever he was upset.
“I don’t even know if he wants me dad,” Stiles managed to choke out as he trembled in his dad’s arms and his dad only held him tighter.
“We are going to get through this kid, if he doesn’t see how amazing you are then he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
He knew his dad was furious, Stiles didn’t blame him but Stiles believed his dad. No matter what, they were going to go through this and they will figure it all out like they always had done before in the past.
“I got you kid, I got you.”
And Stiles finally let himself cry as he broke apart in his dad's arms.
He had been exhausted, bone deep tired as he laid down in his bed and pulled the covers up and over his head as he just laid there in the dark. It had been about a week since his breakdown in his dad’s arms. A week since Derek lost his memory, a week before he really had the energy to figure anything out or plan about what would happen when Derek would get his memories back.
Deaton had confirmed it was only temporary, he didn’t know how long it would last, but it wasn’t going to be forever.
Stiles sighed as his hands drifted to the small baby bump that was growing a little bit every day. He was so scared about the what if’s and his dad had tried to keep him out of his own mind but Stiles couldn’t help but to jump to the worst case scenarios. The pack still didn’t know either, it felt wrong to tell them before Derek.
He had known he had feelings when Derek and he had first started the arrangement, knew it was only going to end in heartbreak but he had figured if this was the only way he would get the wolf then it would be worth it. Now he wondered if it was.
He groaned as he rolled over to his other side, it was done, he couldn’t change the past even if he really wanted to. He just had to suffer the consequences and he could already tell that this child was going to be the light of his life. He wasn’t going to give them up no matter what. He couldn’t care less about the gender of his baby, he was going to love them with everything he had dammit.
And if he was kicked out of the pack, if Derek didn’t want them…. Well he would still make sure this child would never feel lonely.
Even if it meant he would be.
Stiles sighed as he screwed his eyes shut, the hormones were really getting to him and he swore he felt like he was going to either scream or cry even more. His father had been trying to handle his mood swings but Stiles couldn’t even predict how he would react to anything now. It drove him insane.
He hadn’t really spoke to the pack since the night at Derek’s loft. They haven’t even reached out to him, have been saying he was tired, he looked exhausted every time they saw him and wanted to let him rest. He didn’t realize that meant they were not going to be there for him and made everything feel normal.
Instead it only made him feel even more alone. He knew all he had to do was yell at them but if he was part of the pack why was it necessary for him to do it in the first place to get some attention? That isn’t how it worked and high school was pretty much the same thing. Thank god he had graduated last year and was trying to figure himself out.
The pack all agreed to taking a year off to sort through things before they all tried their hand at college. HIs dad wasn’t impressed but considering now, his father was probably also relieved that they had made the decision. He didn’t know what he would do if he had to figure out school while being pregnant. Probably have a complete breakdown.
He heard his phone buzz but he just mostly ignored it, he couldn’t find the motivation or the will to even move quite yet. Sleep wasn’t coming to him easily so he was trapped in his own mind again for the night as he rubbed his belly. He couldn’t wait until the day they would kick or even move. To feel their life under his hands.
“You done sulking yet?”
Stiles screamed as he shot up, actually literally having a near heart attack as he noticed how Derek was sitting on the window sill. God dammit he didn’t even hear the window open.
“What the fuck!! You fucking asshole!” Stiles screeched and Derek actually looked a little guilty.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Well you fucking did!” Stiles gasped as he placed a hand on his chest, trying to gain his breath back.
“Look, I wanted to apologize. I don’t remember anything and you haven’t been around.”
Stiles huffed as he pulled the blankets to cover his belly more as he shrugged. He wasn’t even sure what to even say at this point.
“And you smell sad and sweet and it has been driving me insane.”
“Sad and sweet?”
Derek glared, “Yes, you just smelled sad when I shoved you against the wall and now you smell sweet.”
Shit, Stiles wasn’t wearing the bracelet.
“And it’s hit in here yet you have blankets wrapped around you so I’m wondering if you are hiding something,” Derek also said and Stiles felt his eyes widen.
“I’m not hiding anything!”
“But you are, I don’t even have to be a werewolf to know you just lied.”
Stiles knew he was starting to panic and Derek only frowned before he moved closer and that made Stiles panic even more.
“Hey easy, the others said you can have panic attacks, breathe,” Derek said softly as he sat down on the edge of his bed, his hands coming up to grab his shoulders gently and Stiles hand’s shot up to grab his wrists. “If I had my memory I wouldn’t have noticed you were hiding something wouldn’t I?”
Stiles only wheezed as he nodded slightly, no he wouldn’t have. Derek actually looked a little upset at that piece of information and Stiles felt himself starting to calm down a bit as Derek placed their foreheads together.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s-” Stiles tried to say but his heartbeat was still beating too fast, he still felt shaky and he was so tired.
“I think I know what it is, the thing is I just don’t understand.”
Stiles frowned as he pulled away and he jumped when Derek moved the blankets away to place a hand on the bump with confusion in his eyes.
“We aren’t mates but I feel a pull to you, and you smelled like my mom did when she was pregnant with Cora,” Derek whispered and Stiles only broke more as he sniffled.
He didn’t even get to fully register he was crying before Derek pulled him into his arms, gently rubbing his back and Stiles, he wanted this. But Derek wasn’t Derek. He didn’t remember and Stiles couldn’t handle that fact.
“I’m sorry I don’t remember.”
“It’s not your fault,” Stiles managed to say between his cries and Derek only held him closer. There were no words spoken that night, Derek only held him and he didn’t move away even after Stiles managed to calm down. Derek only ran a hand through his hair and whispered to him to go to sleep so Stiles did. And he felt safe, he felt like he was home in his arms.
If this is all he got, that was okay. It had to be okay.
And when he woke up with Derek holding him, his face looking so peaceful, he wanted this even more and Stiles didn’t know what to do. But he was just going to leave it.
Derek ended up visiting even more since that night; he even respected Stiles' wish that he didn’t want the pack to know yet. Stiles seemed happier with Derek around; his dad even mentioned something about it.
It had been rough between the two men for a while, Noah wanted to shoot him while Derek didn’t even remember but felt guilty but it had settled. It made Stiles smile for the first time in over a week and that seemed to be the agreement between the two.
It had been peaceful and Stiles was wondering when the next shoe was going to drop. When it was all going to hell.
Stiles hummed as he slowly woke up, smiling as he felt Derek pressed along his back, his arm tucked around the small baby bump. It made his heart swell in fondness every time. He could tell that Derek was awake with the way the hand was rubbing small circles and he just let himself slowly drift along that line of sleep and half awake for a little bit more.
He felt warm and safe.
“You awake?” Derek asked softly and Stiles only hummed. He loved how soft and rough Derek’s voice could be in the mornings. It made a shiver travel down his back.
“I remember.”
And that woke Stiles up as he suddenly stopped breathing, his body tensing up as he felt Derek hold him tighter.
“Hey now, relax Stiles,” Derek rushed and Stiles only whimpered. How could he relax? This was the end of everything.
“Stiles, I am not upset, I remember everything before the witch and after the witch.”
“And?” Stiles choked out and Derek’s hand only circled his belly again.
“I remember how scared I was you know? To admit that I felt something for you despite you being in high school. You were so young but so full of life I almost wanted to envy you but how could I? You care about everyone, you see things that no one else does, you always told me I wasn’t a monster.”
“Excuse me you are not!” Stiles yelled as he moved, his fear forgotten for a bit as he glared at Derek and Derek only looked down at him fondly. It made Stiles freeze, he never had someone look at him like that before.
“Exactly, and you want to know something?”
Stiles could only nod.
“I remember falling in love with you all over again, I loved seeing you smile, how you laughed and I was so amazed because you shined so brightly. You took my breath away and you are carrying my child Stiles. You are amazing,” Derek whispered and Stiles sniffled as he threw himself at Derek, the wolf holding him close.
“I thought you wouldn’t want me,” Stiles cried and Derek hushed him softly.
“Of course I do, I wanted to for a long time, and if I could, I want you both,” Derek whispered as he pulled Stiles into his lap, his hand never leaving the baby bump and Stiles only cried even more.
“Of course you can you stupid wolf!”
Derek thankfully didn’t say anything because Stiles was fully lost in his emotions, and he really didn’t want to ruin the moment by trying to strangle the man if he said something completely stupid that he would deserve it for.
“It’s okay, I got you now and I am never letting you go, never.”
Stiles only buried his face into the wolf’s shoulder. He knew they still had a lot to talk about, his dad still had to be informed that Derek had his memories back. The pack still had to know about that and about the baby that Stiles was carrying because of Derek’s stupid alpha werewolf sperm.
But that can wait because Derek wanted him. He wanted him and the baby and he was so stupid happy about it.
“It’s gonna all be okay now Stiles.”
And Stiles believed him.