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Tori Vega crosses her arms over her body as she walks in the cold to Jade’s house. She had gotten a text asking her to come over, and maybe if it was somebody like Robbie she would’ve just said no. But Jade is her best friend. So Tori does what Jade asks.
The lack of a license isn’t too bad when Jade’s house is only a twenty minute walk away, but at this time of year California was too cold for Tori’s liking. She’s sure anybody from the North would laugh at her right now but they’re not around so she feels free to shiver as much as she wants.
It’s not long until she approaches the end of Jade’s driveway, quickly whipping out her phone to send a ‘here!’ text.
Jade replies: you have 2 come thru the garage, doorbell camera or wtv, not supposed 2 hav ppl over when my mom is gone. hang on ill come open it
Tori puts her phone in her pocket and waits for the garage to open, which a few moments later it does, and she's walking up the driveway to greet Jade.
"Hey," Tori says, smiling.
"Come on, let's go in," Jade replies, already turning to walk inside her house, just relying on Tori to follow suit (which, of course, she does.)
"Why'd you call me over? Everything good? Or did you just miss me oh, so much?" Tori teases, leaning against Jade's kitchen counter.
"You think you're so cute, don't you?" Jade scoffs.
"Adorable."
"I'll tell you later, let's just hangout for a bit."
If you told Tori Vega that Jade West would become her best friend in just a few short months on her first day of school, she'd probably laugh at you. But if you told her after Jade saved her ass from food-fight cleanup and detention, (that Jade technically bestowed upon her...) she'd smile.
Now, here they were, sitting on the couch in Jade's living room, a bag of chips between them and some show that Jade's currently into on the TV. Tori doesn't really understand what's happening, but every time Jade laughs at the screen she finds herself smiling. Time passes by and Tori gets more and more anxious waiting for Jade to reveal her reason for being here, but she doesn't want to interrupt or bother Jade so she just sighs and pulls out her phone, resorting to scrolling on The Slap.
"Do you want popcorn?" Jade pauses the TV.
"No."
"Have you eaten today?"
Tori gestures to the bag of chips resting against her thigh, but Jade just raises an eyebrow, both of them well aware Tori had few if any at all.
"I'm making you a sandwich," Jade declares, moving to take out a plate before Tori can stop her.
"Jade..."
"I'm making you a sandwich."
Tori just sighs, accepting defeat and getting up to stand at the counter as she watches Jade work. Only glancing away when Jade moves to put her long brown hair up into a ponytail, afraid of the way her heart pumps at the simple action. Tori listens as Jade hums, smiling to herself at the contentedness of the moment. How many people get to see Jade West in a setting like this? Doing things for someone else, hair up, fluffy pajama pants on, and a small smile on her face.
The thought of that which had started out as a sweet realization turns into a bitter awakening when Tori realizes that it isn't just her that gets to see Jade like this. Her smile drops. She'll always have to share every side of Jade she gets to see with somebody else. This moment may be just for her, but Jade isn't. Jade is also his. Jade might only be his.
Tori doesn't notice she's zoned out until Jade's snapping in her face, pointing down at the plate in front of her with a freshly made sandwich on it.
"Thanks," Tori mumbles.
"It's good for you," Jade speaks in a soft tone most people couldn't even imagine coming from her. She walks up next to Tori and leans her head on her shoulder, patiently waiting. The ever accommodating Jade West, Jade thought, scoffing out loud. She's thankful nobody else is here watching her cater to Tori fucking Vega. It's no secret that they're friends now. Jade doesn't want it to be a secret, because she'll be damned if someone dares to try to get closer to Tori than she is.
Jade didn't want to have anything to do with Tori at first, let alone become her friend. But if Jade's going to be Tori Vega's friend, there's a snowflake's chance in hell she'll settle for anything less than the best title.
Later they're on their way up to Jade's room when Jade briskly walks a few steps ahead of Tori, making her way to sit on the side of the bed by the wall, the side Tori sleeps on whenever she stays over. Jade didn't say anything so Tori doesn't either, simply resigning to the closest side of the bed, lying down and getting comfortable, taking her phone out again.
"Hey, sit up and turn around." Jade pokes Tori's shoulder. Tori complies, no questions asked.
Jade's fingers immediately find their way to Tori's hair, gently running through it, daintily taking out any tangles as to not hurt her. Then Tori's hair is sectioned off as Jade begins to braid, just to have something to do. She does this often, it's one of Tori's favorite things in this world. Something she'll no doubt miss once Jade inevitably moves on from her as she believes. So she finds the clarity she can, leaning into the gentle touch of Jade's hands, sighing with content and relaxing. Happy to just be around her.
"Can I know why I'm here?" Tori asks after a minute passes.
"Yeah, in a second, okay? This is nice right now."
"That's okay, yeah. This is nice," Tori agrees.
Jade unravels the braid in Tori's hair before starting a new one.
Jade has connected her phone to a speaker, playing soft music throughout her room now, only the string lights looped through her headboard illuminating the room around them. Tori's eyes are closed and she's faced the ceiling but she can feel Jade's stare concentrating on her.
"Yes?" Tori asks, not moving an inch.
"I lost my virginity."
It's a quick confession. It's something that happens around the world probably everyday or something. It's such a normal thing for teenagers with boyfriends. But for some reason it just doesn't sit well with Tori. But how can she say that? How can she say that she didn't want to know? How can she say she didn't ever want to think about Beck with his hands all over Jade? How can she say any of that without giving Jade the wrong idea?
She can't.
"Oh." Is Tori's reply. "Is that why I'm here?"
"Yeah, I wanted to let you know. Y'know, best friend stuff... or whatever..." Jade may be quick to tell other people she's Tori's best friend but she's always reluctant to admit that Tori is hers.
"Oh, okay."
Jade studies Tori. She doesn't know what she was expecting Tori to do or say, but certainly more than this. Tori's eyes are still closed, her hands folded over her stomach frozen in place. The only signs of her living is the slow rise and fall of her chest with every breath she takes and the movement of eyes barely visible behind shut lids.
"Is that all you're going to say?" Annoyance reaches Jade's tone.
"What do you want me to say, Jade?" Tori cracks one eye open, taking a quick peek at Jade, before closing it once more.
"I don't know, I thought you might have some questions or something..."
I don't want to think about you with him. I don't want to know anything. I want to keep thinking of you as mine. I don't want to imagine you as anybody else's. It's not fair to me. Tori's mind is screaming, though her voice remains calm: "I mean... I'm happy for you if that's what you wanted, but I feel kinda uncomfortable talking about it because I just don't even know what I should ask."
"So you're happy for me?"
"Yes, Jade. Ecstatic." It doesn't take an overabundance of empathy to read into Tori's sarcasm. But Jade doesn't want to push it.
This was something she wanted to share with her best friend, yet she's been hesitant all night. She didn't know why then, but after saying it the reason has become increasingly clear. There's a clear wall being built right now. Constructing quickly between Jade and Tori. Jade wishes she realized this would've happened before she said anything.
Is it because maybe Tori feels like Jade's growing up too fast without her?
Is it because Tori doesn't like Beck or something? But that can't be possible, they're close friends.
It's then that Jade has the thought that's bound to keep her up the rest of the night, tossing and turning and contemplating the meaning of it: If I knew this was how Tori would react I would’ve never had sex with Beck at all.
"I gotta go home, my mom just texted," Tori says, sitting up on the edge of the bed to put her shoes on.
And although Jade was spaced out and not paying attention, she's almost positive that's just not true. But this isn't a fight she wants to have.
"Okay." Jade gets up, walking Tori back to the garage.
As they stand there, waiting for the garage door to fully open so Tori can make her way home, they accidentally catch each other's eyes in the midst of their stolen glances. Their stares lock onto each other, leaving them motionless even as the door comes to a halt.
And at the same time they have the exact same thought and question: Why does this feel like a betrayal?
"So I'll see you at school on Monday?" Jade is the first one to speak.
Tori just nods and smiles meekly. "Bye, Jade. Goodnight."
Tori briskly walks away into the dark, Jade making her way back inside. But Tori turns around, hopeful that maybe Jade was looking back at her, too. And she is. Blue eyes are fixed onto her before they both resume their path. And this time, the second time Tori turns around, there's no eyes waiting for her. So she walks faster, desperate to get away, to start breathing again.
She feels tears begin to prick her eyes as she wraps her arms around herself. The cold causing the sadness to sting.
Because now all she can think about is how there's a side of Jade that Beck has that Tori will never see.
Tori is Jade's. But Jade is and will always be Beck's, Tori thinks and immediately wishes she hadn't, picking up the pace, desperate to get home. Desperately waiting for her head to hit her pillow and for sleep to overcome her. The only hours out of the twenty four that don't involve her thinking about Jade.
And Tori's tired of thinking about Jade. She's not sure this is how friends are supposed to think about each other and guilt overcomes her.
No matter how you look at it: Tori and Jade were never made to be friends.