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As any other day, Castelia City was beaming brightly with its blinding lights- blinding even at the daytime, displaying all those colorful advertisements featuring a brand new phone or a brand new celebrity debuting at Pokewoods.
And not only that, but as she was working her way through the city, Zinnia came across a large marching band of what surely were students rehearsing for something, hell if she knew what was the city celebrating this time around from all things they always celebrated, so, she was quick to find her way away from them, until she finally glimpsed within her near reach the harbor.
Once there, her step became more wary and attentive, as she turned around to see if the kids were already there waiting on her: seemed like, as usual, they would arrive a bit later, probably because Nate dropped his cap somewhere, and she could already imagine Hilda teasing him over that while apologizing for not arriving at the settled hour.
But could Zinnia ever get mad at the kids leaving her waiting?
Not at all, hell if she didn’t love them with all there was in her matter and soul, hell if they weren't the lights of her life, making it all feel better, making it all make so much sense.
She had to stop for a couple seconds to enjoy the soft summer breeze caressing her cheeks, fueling the energy in her body and making her feel chills as she smiled, getting so much joy over the simple thought of her children, and then…
A heavy, heavy pang of nostalgia took over, drumming in her heart, making it feel like it could explode at any given moment.
Nostalgia, nostalgia of… something she still hadn’t even lost.
Even if everything was pretty much fine, if she was making an amazing job and the children were always happy with her and more so, sometimes Zinnia couldn’t escape the dreary feeling of fear, fear of being a mother and all that implied, all the responsibility that rested in one’s hand when assuming the duty of raising someone that was like a blank canvas.
Sometimes, she had to be totally honest, this responsability felt even heavier than the lorekeeper one she had long quitted, for the sake of her children, again.
People would always talk about how much she cared for them and how, then, little had she have to worry over not standing up to what they deserved, still, she knew there was much more to uprising than good intentions, all that her mother claimed to have and still led to the mess her upbringing had been, and–
“Look, I told you she’d already be here!”
And like she expected, the boy replied, “sheesh, I told you to not come at me with that again!”
“You always do the same!” Hilda said, as some purple sparkles shone in her hair. “You don’t lose your head because it's literally attached to your body!”
Zinnia couldn’t help the big, helpless grin that spread across her lips as she listened to their voices.
And when she turned around, Hilda struck one of her poses, smiling carelessly, displaying her teeth as she put her hands to her waist.
“Hi, stranger,” she said affectionately. “Not as early as promised but we made it here!”
Trying to make it easier for Nate, Zinnia replied, “it’s okay, I haven’t been waiting much, in fact, I just arrived, there was a march rehearsal or something in the way here and I kinda got stuck there.”
And in a gracious motion, Nate shrugged, “well, who forced you to leave the ever so quiet Draconid Village to come join this circus we call Castelia City. That was your mistake.”
She couldn’t help but cackle at this comment; if Nate wasn’t so funny, the little, disheveled boy.
“Well, well, is there anything y’all want to do, because–”
Before she could finish her sentence, the boy of grey locks nodded, interrupting her, “maybe go home and spend the evening there?”
Hilda had seemed as keen as her brother to execute this plan, yet, also noticed how her mom was about to say something, so she put an antsy hand over Nate’s shoulder, to say, “but what were you about to say?”
Shaking her head, Zinnia answered, “oh, I was about to suggest maybe going for some Castelia cones, perhaps? but if y’all want to do anything else–”
Shaking her head, Hilda said, “we can absolutely do that if that’s what you want!”
In her stress of being a good mother, Zinnia was worried over not imposing her plans or ideas upon her kids.
“No, if y’all had a plan–”
And the youngest insisted, “no, ma, it’s alright! Castelia cones are my jam, you do know that well!”
Hilda clapped her hands, nodding enthusiastically, “yeah, Castelia cones are perfect! Just let’s hope Nate can get at least half through it without accidentally dropping it!”
“Hey! What are you on, it’s not like–”
“You weren’t this clumsy? Yes, you are.”
“Mum! Tell her something!”
How funny these two were. How much Zinnia wished to be the best of moms to them, to never, ever end up accidentally repeating the mistakes her mother hurt her with and pulling them away.
Thinking of all of this, enjoying the funny jokes and comments the kids, so free of being themselves, were voicing, Zinnia walked her children to were her favorite Castelia cones could be found, all the time holding this underlying fear of maybe one day putting them down, mentally kicking herself for even being so worried over something that was only in her head.
To the point she realized she was missing the chat now they all were seated eating their cones, forcing herself back to the present time in which everything was fine, in which…
“I’m still a bit pissed off by what that Hydreigon guy said,” Nate casually, maybe too casually, said.
Hilda licked her ice cream a couple times more, then grimaced, “you shouldn’t take it too seriously, some people just like being mean.”
“But what if he had a point?”
Too shy to ask, Zinnia inquired, “Hydreigon guy?”
Hiding away his face, Nate replied rather lowly, “we had a battle, I lost, and, well… he didn’t miss the chance to lecture me. He wasn’t much older than me, I wasn’t expecting that–”
His sister interrupted him, “some people have no one to talk to and just use friendly battles to info dump you with condescendant bullshit like they were champions or something. Don’t mind them.”
“I mean… maybe I indeed lack strategy, maybe I am wasting my potential…” and then, sighed, taking a bite from his cone. “Or maybe it is that I’m too frail and I’m paying much mind to something irrelevant, who knows.”
If he cared so much it wasn’t irrelevant; Zinnia wanted her kids to know that, to know better than be ashamed of their feelings and dismissing them, because she wouldn’t ever dismiss them, no matter how simple the situation seemed to be, she didn’t want them to feel as alone as she felt back when she was younger.
But before she could let the ever so smiley Nate know this, some other question popped in her mind with more urgency:
“Why didn’t you tell me that happened? You know, if it was bugging you it was better off talking about that…”
And the answer made her heart ache a little bit.
“You were busy, you work so hard for us that you know, I didn't want to pin one more worry on you.”
Zinnia knew Nate too well to know that it was more that he would have felt his pride too hurt if he let her know sooner, that he was very sensible to some criticism to even repeat it out loud, she knew him like the palm of her hand and she could certainly tell it had simply been that…
However, today her mind was playing tricks to her, and a part of her felt like she had been too absorbed in her own stuff to pay mind to her kids, that she had been too busy to be a good mom, and that, as nonsensical as it was, spiraled her into a thread of thoughts all telling her that she sucked at this, that her fears had all real motives to exist.
And the rest of the time spent like this, she couldn’t quite enjoy it anymore, even if Hilda knew how to lighten up the mood and bring Nate back to his usual joy: the girl could tease her brother constantly, but nobody could doubt how much she loved him and how much she would give her life away in order to protect him.
They finished off with their cones, and then headed back home, to their apartment midtown in this city of madness, all the time laughing and making jokes and talking about everything and nothing at the same time, until they got inside and Zinnia was greeted with… a very nice smell coming from the kitchen.
“Oh? What’s that?”
She heard a couple giggles behind her, and suddenly started to understand why her kids had been so keen about bringing her here.
Over the table, she found a tray that clearly contained lasagna, and beside it was a bowl with mashed potatoes… both meals she enjoyed quite a lot, that digged maybe a bit too much but never prepared herself because she didn’t have the time to anymore.
Her heart beamed with happiness with the realization, and immediately turned back to her kids, to the beautifully smiling Hilda and Nate.
“Guys? You did this, for me?”
“Yup!” Hilda nodded too enthusiastically. “We had no idea what we were doing but yeah!”
Even if… just minutes ago she had found out the worst way how inattentive she had been about her kids, they did this for her?
“Oh, guys, but, why?”
Hilda puffed, shaking her head, “Zinnia, don’t you dare saying you don’t deserve it, you're always like this, you drama queen!”
Nate seconded his sister, “you’ve been so busy, so stressed out that we thought you deserved a nice evening in which at least you don’t have to worry over what you’re gonna cook but instead you can enjoy a nice meal!”
It was something very simple, and still she could be absolutely crying over this.
Because even if she had been too worried over being a bad mom, and accidentally ended up pulling her kids apart in an attempt to avoid what she feared the most, they could see through her good intention, they got her like anybody else, and found ways to not only remind her but convince her that she was doing an amazing job,
“Want to have lunch on the rooftop? We told the neighbors to leave it to us today.”
“Yes, I’d love to.”
“Okay then!” The boy exclaimed, clapping his hands. “Let's microwave this a bit and get some dishes!”
“Okay, I’ll help you serve it.”
“Alright, mum, just–” and Nate chuckled sheepishly. “Don’t mind the edges. We suck at cooking so they got burnt, and–”
“Oh my lord, you could give me a barely edible pokepuffin and I'd still eat it gladly because you cooked it. You put effort in everything you do and that’s what counts, and I’m so glad you put effort in me.”
And weirdly enough, this sounded like something Nate so desperately needed to hear, because his eyes lit up like the former clouds in his mind from the chat they previously held were cleaning now.
And they went to the rooftop, to have lunch, and despite some bitter, burnt mouthfuls, Zinnia enjoyed this meal like it was from a 5 star restaurant, and even if it was sudden, out of the blue, and her kids were talking very casual stuff, she couldn’t help looking at their eyes, and wholeheartedly, like this was an oath, say:
“I love you both so much. You are the light of my life.”
Nate got red, adorably, and Hilda laughed away the tender sensation, making the wind blow in her direction.
“Ah, mum, you’re so cheesy!”
“Oh, you dummy, that’s not what you say when someone tells you they love you!” Nate shook his head, and then, with that smile that could melt an iceberg, said it back. “I love you, mom, hell if I know where I’d be without you!”
Taking a deep breath, Hilda lifted her head, “yes, ma, you are the best! I love you to the moon and back!”
And that was when Zinnia felt a heavy weight lifting off her heart: she had nothing to worry about. She was indeed making an amazing job, and she would doubtlessly do it because it was a natural given to just love these two messy, lovely teens with all there was in her heart. There simply wasn’t any other way.