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'GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU IDIOT, IM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR DEALING WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!'
This is just a completely normal morning in Port Mafia headquarters. Chuuya chases down Dazai because they have his phone. Mori has had enough so he simply just lets them be.
At some point, Dazai is able to hide from Chuuya in the readheads office without being noticed, or so they thought.
'DAZAI,I SWEAR, GIVE. IT. BACK.'
Chuuya opened the door with his ability, making a couple of documents that were on the desk fall.
'Chibi is no fun! I was just playing around a little.'
'Its not funny. Try having to chase down a literal mummy to get your phone back.'
'Oh come on, what is so important about your phone anyways? I wonder if Chuuya has anything to hide in here...'
Dazai opened the phone, and looked through the contacts, dodging everytime Chuuya tried to take it.
'STOP, ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSSINESS!'
Obviously, Dazai wasnt listening.
'What is it Chuuya, do you have any embarassing photos in here? Or maybe the phone number of a pretty girl you like?'
'What are you talking about? Just give it back, damnit!'
'Yeah, what am I saying? Chuuya would never have the phone numbers of pretty girls'
'HUH? What are you insinuating mackrel?! I'm actally quite popular between girls.'
Dazai gave him a disbelief look.
'Its true! You can ask anyone!'
'No way. Thats totally a lie. Chuuya is too ugly-'
Dazai got a punch in his stomach for that.
'… and agressive.'
'You earned that.'
'But seriously, I bet Chuuya hasnt even had his first kiss yet.'
'I have.'
'Wait, really?'
Dazai couldn't believe his ears.
'Yeah. But I bet YOU havent. Am I right?'
'…'
Chuuya smirked.
'Well, its not like I'm very interested in kissing anyone. Its not something I consider very important.'
'Yeahhh... Sure. You're totally lying out of embarassment right now. '
Then Chuuya took adventage of the moment of weakness Dazai was having, and took his phone out of their hands. Dazai pouted in frustration.
'Ugh... That wasnt fair! You caught me off guard!'
'That is, my friend, the whole point. And now, you get out of here. I have things to do, and I bet you do too.'
Chuuya left the office leaving Dazai alone with his thoughts. He was still trying to convince himslef that Chuuya had kissed someone before he had, but it just didn't sit right.
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Dazai didn't knew if it had been hours or seconds of staring into the ceiling, but he was sure that he wanted to stop. The blood was trespassing his bandages, and it would soon also reach his shirt. The blade was still on the floor, rusty, the strong metallic smell mixed with the smell of the crimson liquid. It was nauseating. The shipping container was nauseating. It was cold, and messy, and definitively not a place for a 15 year-old teenager to live, but here they were. He was too tired to move and get out of bed, so they looked around to see were his phone was.
On the floor.
Dazai tried to recolect as much energy as they could, took in a deep breath and let an arm drop from the bed in order to blindly try to reach the phone. This caused the bandages to loosen up and his cuts to re-open, making him hiss at the sudden pain. He had cut a bit too deep.
Luckily, they reached the phone easily. He needed someone that would distract him from that feeling. Even if it was just for a little while. And their mind thought that Chuuya could be a good option.
So he did. He called Chuuya.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
'Oi, Dazai, what the hell do you want?'
'Hi chibiii... eh... are you free right now?'
'Eh? Why do you ask?'
'Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go get wasted and have some fun.'
'With you? I- I dont understand a thing, what the hell is with you all of a sudden? Are you o-'
'I just thought it could be entretaining! Come on, when was the last time you went out to have some fun Chuuya?'
'Well...'
'I'll take that as a yes. How about 'the long goodbye' in one hour?'
'Ugh, ok... You bring the money though.'
'WHY?? Oh come on Chuuya, you know I'm almost broke!'
'Don't care. Your idea, your money.'
'Ugh, fine, chibi is so mean.'
'Bye Dazai.'
And he hung up.
Dazai had to get ready now. This was gonna be a long process.
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It had been and hour and a half, Chuuya was hesitating to leave. The place was welcoming though. It was a small bar, with several couches and tables in the sides. There were lots of old looking photos in black and white, the people portrayed in them looked like they were normal people, and some of them looked like important political figures. It was already night, so the place was illuminated with lightbulbs, that because of the orange-ish crystal covering them as a decorative motive, created a sensation of an old but welcoming place. And that's what it was actually. The bartender seemed friendly, a friendly old man who just tried to run his bussines and keep on living, just like that. He kinda reminded Chuuya of Hirotsu.
Then, Dazai entered the place, looking at Chuuya with a warm look in his eyes.
'You damn mackrel, if you are going to set an hour to go out, at least don't be late. '
'Yeah, yeah, sorry chibi, I got a bit lost. Anyway, did you already order?'
'No, I was waiting for you.'
'Oh, thats so polite coming from a dog like you.'
'You really are making me regret this...'
'So, can I get you boys anything?'
The bartender cut them off, trying to sound as friendly as possible.
'Yeah, we'll have two glasses of wine, thank you.'
The bartender looked down, sighed, and then looked back at the boys.
'Well, I'm afraid I can´t do that.'
'Eh? Why not?'
Dazai asked, not undertanding what was going on, he had got drunk here a couple times before, this guy didn´t care about giving alcohol to children as long as they payed him extra.
'Because police heard rumous about me making... favours to teens like you, now they come more often to see if they can catch me on the act, and if they actually find out, I might get arrested and loose the bar. As you can understand is a risk I will not take. So, all I can offer you is sell you a bottle, go get drunk somewhere else, and never mention that you got it from me.'
Chuuya and Dazai looked at eachother, they agreed it was the best option they had, so they bought the bottle, and Dazai hid it under his coat as they left the bar.
'Now what?'
Asked Chuuya, as they started to walk down the street.
'I dont know, any ideas?'
'Is cold as hell outside right now, so no drinking on the streets again. And we are not going to that dumpster you call ''home''. So how about my place?'
'Oh? Chuuya is going to show me his apartment? How nice!'
'Seriously, don't make me regret it.'
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Chuuya's apartment was nice. At least that's what Dazai thought. It was warm, and welcoming. Nothing like the cold shipping container he lives in. Chuuya's clothes were all over the place, and the apartment in general was messy.
'Sorry, I haven't cleaned up in a while.'
Dazai wasn't complaining though. That lack of organization, felt nice. It felt like Chuuya.
They both took off their coats and left them on the bed in Chuuya's room. Then Chuuya went into the kitchen and grabbed a pair of glasses and a corkscrew. When he returned to the bedroom Dazai was 'inspecting' the bottle of wine.
'This looks like it's good quality'
'Well, let's find out if it really is, shall we?'
Chuuya opened the bottle and poured the liquid into the glasses. And just like this, one round turned into two, and two into three, and before they could stop themselves they were completely wasted, on the floor, and laughing like they had never heard eachother laugh before over the stupidest joke that had crossed Dazai's mind in that moment. And the truth was, that only drunk they allowed themselves to truly act their age, because it was just them, and also they could blame it on the alcohol.
'Chuuya... I have a confession to make.'
Chuuya faced Dazai, both of them still laying down on the floor.
'It was me who broke Kouyou's favourite vase.'
'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! She literally started crying when she found out it was broken... It meant a lot to her..'
'Sorry... I was doing something stupid, I can't really remember what right now, but I'm pretty sure I was.'
'Pfftt, tell me something I don't know, you're always doing stupid stuff.'
They both giggled and then, silence. They just stared into eachother's eyes, noticing that peculiar glimmer that appears whenever too much alcohol runs through your veins.
'Chuuya, do you remember when I told you I never had my first kiss?'
'Of course I remember -hiccup- you moron. It was yesterday.'
'Yeah, right... I think I already chose who I want to have my first kiss with.'
'Really? Who?'
Silence, again.
Dazai's breathing became heavier, they closed his eyes shut and muttered something to himslef that Chuuya couldn't really understand. Then they opened his eyes, and moved his hand to Chuuya's cheek. Chuuya didn't move away, he just accepted the warmth on his cheek as he tried to figure out what was happening. Then Dazai moved closer, and closer, and closer...
It was a shy, soft kiss. Chuuya took a little bit of time to react, but then he gave in, closing his eyes and finally letting Dazai pull away.
They looked at eachother, their cheeks burning, their breaths heavy, eyes sparkling because a feeling they couldn't even describe.
Dazai yawned. He looked tired, the eyebags under their eyes getting darked showed they hadn't been sleeping a lot this past week.
'Good... night... Chuuya'
He fell asleep. Chuuya couldn't believe his eyes. But, he was really tired too. So he standed up and trew himself into bed. He tried to sleep but he couldn't, and the reason he couldn't was the red on his cheeks persisting to stay.
Did he like it?
What was he thinking? Of course he did. He was a blushing mess, and he could feel butterflies on his stomach, shit shit shit shit. What was he going to do now? He has Dazai sleeping on the floor of his bedroom, the lights on, but he was too tired to stand up and off them. There was wine all over his white shirt, god he was a mess, a disaster. All he could do now was sleep, and hope tomorrow would be better. Right now the wine was clearly not getting the best out of him. He would deal with Dazai tommorrow too.
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Chuuya woke up to an already awake Dazai. They looked tired, more than tired, he looked like he was dead but in an alive body. It was probably the alcohol hangover. Actually, he was starting to feel it himself too.
'Good morning.'
'Good? Ha! I feel like I just got crushed by a meteorite and then ran over by a truck.'
Chuuya replied, dragging himself out of bed.
'Oh? I thought chibi was already used to drinking a lot, and the consequences it has the morning after.'
'Oh, shut it, will you?'
They stared at eachother in an akward silence for a moment, but then, while Chuuya looked into Dazai's eyes, he felt some short of Deja-Vu. Something had happened last night, but the more he tried to remember the less his brain allowed him to get to that lost memory.
“Maybe if I stop thinking about it, it will eventually come back by itself.” Thought Chuuya, approaching the table, the couple of dirty glasses and the empty wine bottle. Its funny how alcohol makes you feel so alive yet so miserable. But he was used to it at this point. Maybe starting to drink at 15 wasnt the best choice he could make, but, considering he took someones live almost every week, it wasn't even that bad, right? After all he just did it ocasionally, to forget the burden of knowing there's blood in his hands. Dazai did the exact same thing. It was just sometimes, to release some stress together.
He could stop if he wanted...right?
'Chibi, what are you staring at, have you seen a ghost?'
He had been spacing out. Shit.
'No, just your ugly face up close.'
Dazai tried to act as terribly offended as he could, at wich Chuuya rolled his eyes.
'Chuuya is sooo mean! I'm not ugly, but beauty is always a waste if the beholder has no taste. '
'You have no idea of the things I would do to keep your mouth shut right now.'
And then it hit him.
Dazai and him had kissed last night. How could he forget something like that? How did he let something like that happen? And the worst of all... Why did he felt like he did like it?! What was wrong with him?
Wait.
Did Dazai remember what happened too?! Maybe he should ask them... But was it really a good idea? I mean, what would he do after that? How would Dazai react? Would they make a move? Did he wanted Dazai to make a move? Was that the best for their relationship considering the situation they are in? And what if Dazai already remembered and just wasn't saying anything? Maybe it was true that if they decided to get into a relationship, Mori would oppose and try to separate them. Not to mention all the things that could go wrong, any of them could die at an moment, they worked for a mafia for fucks sake. Also...were they really even ready for a relationship? Could they be in one? Chuuya did like Dazai, but, would it work? Maybe it would be a disaster that would end up in never being able to work together profesionally again. Maybe it was better to just let it be. (Maybe he was scared of love) Probably Dazai didnt even remember at all. What was he thinking?
But Dazai did remember.
And he was also wondering if Chuuya knew. Wondering if they should regret it. Or make a move. Or wait for Chuuya to make a move. And eventully came to the same conclusion that it was an impossible love. And as long as their situation didnt change, it would be impossible. After all, everything that Dazai tries to get, ends up destroyed, it was the way things were since he was born.
So there they were. Chuuya sitting on the frame of the window, looking at the rising sun of the morning, and Dazai with their coat on, holding the door knob, ready to leave at any moment soon. Only one thing in common:
Both of them were hoping the other didnt remember what happened last night.