Chapter Text
“He’s Impressive.“
“No, I need you to understand. He may be powerful and actually somewhat smart, but he’s a feral little fucker and dumb as a post.”
Was Karkat's comment to his friend Kanaya before the bell rang, marking the fourth meeting of the fencing club meets this year. Today was Tuesday in the sixth week of high school and Karkat had already decided how he felt about a guy in his fencing club. It was the one kid he refused to partner with due to him being extremely fucking annoying and infuriatingly stupid but smart. Kanaya attended fencing club once but then went and got a job, so now Karkat explains to her in detail what happens at every club meeting. She listens of course, but only because Karkat has been her friend since they were grubs.
Kanaya sighed before waving to Karkat and heading out of the classroom while Karkat was shoving things in his backpack. He was muttering swears under his breath along the lines of "something something asshole teacher something something never giving us time to pack up." Once he had messily shoved shit in his backpack he left towards the back gym, the one that fencing club had, aka the gym that's too small and poorly kept for any other sports team to want. The pads on the walls were literally falling off and the nearest water fountain was three hallways down, no one in the club was happy about this but they had to deal with it because it was this gym or convincing someone's mom or lusus to let them use their yard. As per usual, Karkat was late for the meeting. The results of club elections for offices were going to be announced, and Karkat had arrived just in time to hear the worst possible thing.
"The club president this year is Dave Struder!" Karkat hadn't voted for anyone, but if he had he sure as hell wouldn't have voted for Douchebag Strider. The guy is cocky as hell and finds it absolutely fucking hilarious to piss off Karkat.
Karkat groaned and walked over to set his stuff down and grab his fencing equipment from the locker room. Once he stepped out was when he learned he was the vice principal of the club, which should've been impossible since he hadn't even been here to give a speech. Confused, Karkat walked over to the club teacher reading out the names.
"Uhm, I didn't give a speech, coach." He grumbled, not happy about having to work with Dave.
"Oh yeah, Dave gave your speech for you!" The coach explained, but Karkat hadn't made a speech. He looked over at Dave with angry confusion, but Dave just looked about ready to burst out laughing. The motherfucker had made a speech for vice president pretending to be Karkat, and that pissed off Karkat so much he couldn't even say shit about it. Was he good at fencing and knew a lot about it? Sure but he did not under any circumstance like being an authority figure in a club he didn't want to attend as much this year. He was passionate about it last year but now not so much, mostly because halfway through last year he realized he may not be as good as he thought all because of Dave. That guy infuriated Karkat to the point it made him mess up any time he faced him in a match, he just knew exactly which buttons to push to make Karkat fuck up.
After officer announcements were made the club was going to have a bit of practice time, in a couple of months was this year's first tournament. Everyone paired up, Karkat was quick to pair up with anyone but Dave and it worked. The rest of the club meeting went by quickly and Karkat was quick to leave the second it was over. He basically ran out of the school to get to his ride who of course was not there yet. "Great," Karkat muttered, "Leave it to Cronus to be late picking me up.." Cronus was Karkat's brother Kankri's boyfriend. Cronus was on the school's football team, and he always stayed late. So Karkat wasn't surprised just annoyed, and Dave walking over next to him didn't help at all.
"Imagine not having a license yet," He said, looking as smug as ever. Karkat rolled his eyes and glared at Dave, knowing he didn't have a driver's license yet either.
"Shut the fuck up you prickish dumbshit, you know you don't have one either," Karkat huffed, crossing his arms, annoyed already. Dave laughed, gog how Karkat hated it.
"Damn ya got me there, my ride's late too," Dave said, brushing his fingers through his product-filled hair. Karkat decided to attempt to ignore Dave and looked away from him. "Oh yeah, forgot to mention I think I'm gonna be in your math class and English class. Having to switch classes cuz the school fucked up my schedule."
Karkat was about to yell at Dave when he saw Cronus pull up and just bolted to his car and hopped in before Dave got another word in. Cronus of course was surprised, "What's the rush?" he asked, Karkat glared daggers at him and luckily Cronus was smart enough to not ask again. Dave sighed and waved at Karkat as Cronus started driving away, Karkat didn't notice nor did he care.
Once back at his hive Karkat got changed into comfier clothes and holed up in his room, deciding to watch a movie underneath massive amounts of blankets. His peace was disrupted when Kankri opened the door without knocking, he always did that and it always pissed off Karkat almost more than Dave's existence did. "Could it fucking kill you to knock, Kankri?" Karkat yelled, which was surprisingly unusual whenever Kankri didn't knock. It was incredibly obvious Karkat had a shit day and Kankri was going to stick his horns into shit he didn't need too.
"Bad day huh? Tell me what happened," Kankri said, not even bothering to ask he just sounded demanding as always to Karkat.
"Fuck off, shitspewing razzmatazz of go fuck yourself in the ass. I don't want to talk about it and I don't want to hear your insufferable "advice" if you can even call it that." Karkat growled, he knew full well how Kankri felt about swearing and avoided it around him but right now he wasn't going to filter it out. He wanted Kankri out of his room.
"Karkat what have I told you about swearing it's inappropriate and incredibly offensive." Of course Kankri didn't take the hint so Karkat grabbed the nearest slipper and threw it at him.
"I know you say that all the fucking time and I know so I don't swear around you so take the hint that I don't want to be around you." Karkat muttered and Kankri sighed, leaving and closing the door behind him. Karkat got comfy once more and was finally able to actually start his movie, which was one of his favorite romance movies In which the main protagonist sits idly till one day he finds himself head over heels for red-rom interest A but red-rom interest A is flushing for her kismesis who's auspistice's moirail is the main protagonist.
About halfway through the movie Karkat hears Kankri call for him from downstairs, most likely for dinner. "I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN," Karkat yelled in response as he paused his movie and crawled begrudgingly out of his blanket cocoon to leave his room. He trudged downstairs, yawning at the bottom and looking for Kankri who was talking to someone at the front door. Karkat walked over to the door and was going to ask Kankri who it was until he caught a glimpse of a certain someones sunglasses and gross product infused hair. Karkat instantly turn around to go back upstairs but of course, that's when Kankri decided to notice him.
"Oh! Karkat come meet our new neighbors! They moved in with the Lalonde's yesterday!" Kankri exclaimed, which caught Karkat's attention. The Lalonde's? Kanaya was dating Rose who lived next door so Karkat was familiar with them, but why was Dave living with them now? Curious, Karkat turned around and walked towards the door again, and pushed past Kankri.
"How the hell do you know Rose?" Karkat asked, granting a glare from Kankri but Karkat didn't care. He noticed a taller-looking Dave behind Dave and groaned, now there was two Daves and they both lived right next door to him.
"Oh shit hey Karkat, didn't know you lived next door to my sister," Dave said, seeming actually surprised. Karkat stared at Dave for a moment, processing how he just called Rose his sister.
"Your what- Rose is your FUCKING SISTER?!" Karkat yelled, both surprised and annoyed. That's when Kankri decided to chime in, having decided to ignore Karkats use of swear words, "Karkat and Rose's girlfriend are besties, have been since forever. I'm surprised neither of us knew Rose had brothers."
"Yes, Rose's older sister is my twin." Dave but taller said, turns out his name was Dirk after Dave mentioned it. Karkat had started ignoring the conversation though and was still processing Rose had brothers. Then Kankri invited them inside, which made Karkat snap back into the conversation.
"WHAT- NO THEY CANNOT COME IN-" Karkat screeched, his voice cracking making Dave quietly laugh at him. Kankri looked at Karkat with confusion and a hint of maybe anger.
"Why not, Karkat? They are our new neighbors who came over to say hello we should be respectful." Kankri said sternly, there was no arguing this. Karkat groaned and stomped upstairs back to his room, slamming his door shut and locking it. Talk about the worst day of his life so far. Kankri sighed and apologized to the guests.
"It's fine, he's like this at school too," Dave said, shrugging. Dirk didn't know Karkat but agreed anyway, he didn't care at all. "Mind if I go upstairs and make sure he's okay? I'm in the same club as him." Kankri nodded, telling Dave where Karkat's room is. Dave walked upstairs and to Karkats room, knocking on it.
"PISS OFF KANKRI, I AM *NOT* COMING BACK DOWNSTAIRS WHEN THAT DOUCHBAGGING THINKPANLESS SLICE OF COCK IS HERE." Karekat yelled at Dave, assuming he was Kankri despite the door knocking being uncommon of Kankri to do. But his door was locked so Kankri would've had to knock anyways. Dave laughed at Karkat's creative insult, "Dude it's the "douchbagging thinkpanless slice of cock" not Kankri," Dave said, "Can I come in or nah?"
Karkat heard it was Dave and went silent before getting up and unlocking his door and opening it up a bit to glare at Dave, "Guess." He growled, to which Dave thought for a second before pushing the door open. Looks like he took it as a yes, Karkat was dumbfounded and let him in on accident since he was too busy processing Dave somehow taking that as a yes though it was just Dave being annoying. Dave looked at the TV in Karkats room then looked back at him.
"Whatcha watchin'?" Dave asked, Karkat crossed his arms and glared at him while kicking his door closed.
"None of your business. Why the fuck are you here?" Karkat asked. Dave shrugged and sat down on the ground.
"Dirk wanted to say hi to the neighbors as per Roxy and Rose's suggestion so here I am." Dave explained. Karkat was confused to say the least, Dave was usually way more of a tool than this at school.
"Okay that dosn't explain why you came up to my room." Karkat huffed, sitting down on his blankets.
"Oh cuz I dunno, Kankri just gave me weird vibes. Not bad weird just weird yknow?" Dave shrugged, seems he didn't want to be here too much.
"Fair enough I guess?" Karkat said, confused. He sighed rubbing his temples and lookingb back at Dave. "When are you going to leave?"
"Dunno, whenever Dirk thinks it's been long enough to make Roxy think we visited almost everyone on the block probably." Dave said while grabbing his phone out of his pocket, "If ya don't want me to bother you I won't, this is your house, not school or my house."
"Wow, Dave the Tool Strider not being annoying? Holy shit it's a fucking miracle." Karkat grumbled rolling his eyes. Dave laughed and responded, "Yeah yeah, I am a tool but I'm a tool with fucking standards, dude."
Karkat rolled his eyes, turning off his TV and grabbing his palmhusk from his desk. At least Dave wasn't going to be talking or actively trying to bother him, at least that's what Karkat hoped would happen. Of course, this did not happen as every single time Dave found something he deemed "absolutely fucking hilarious" on his phone he would shove it in Karkat's face. Most things were actually funny to Karkat and a few almost made him laugh and he hated it, Dave noticed and despite saying he wouldn't bother him he did anyways until he had to leave.
Once Dave left Karkat locked his door again and decided it was bedtime, Kankri didn't let him miss dinner though and made him come downstairs. At the dinner table Kankri went on and on about how disrespectful Karkat was and how he should apologize to Dave at school and if he didn't Kankri was going to invite him and Dirk over again so Karkat can apologize to both. Karkat reluctantly agreed then finished his food quickly and returned upstairs. He checked his palmhusk before going to sleep and noticed Dave had somehow put his number on his palmhusk with the contact name "Dave "The Tool" Strider" though Karkat was too tired to bother removing it or blocking it and went to sleep.