Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Viktor’s throat had been bothering him for a while. He coughed and cleared it often, but the irritation never left. It felt as if something small and light was stuck in it. It was beginning to affect his work, something that couldn’t be tolerated.

“Viktor?” He heard his lab partner call out. “Are you doing alright? You’ve been coughing all day. You can go home and rest if you need to.”

“I am,” Viktor flushed with embarrassment as he had to clear his throat halfway through his reassurance. “I am fine, Jayce. I need to finish this.”

He could hear Jayce spin in his chair. Viktor shivered at the feeling of his gaze burning into his back.

“Vitya…” He started, equal parts exasperated and sad. Viktor steeled himself for another half lecture, half plea for him to rest. Early into their partnership, Jayce’s concern confused and flustered him, and he quickly learned that his puppy eyes were an effective method to get Viktor to do pretty much anything-up to and including taking care of himself. That initial weakness wore off, but that didn’t stop Jayce from wheedling him whenever he felt it was needed. Viktor was still yet to build resistance against the diminutive, however, and Jayce used this to his advantage as often as he could.

“How about,” Viktor quickly diverted the topic and turned to face Jayce as well, “we go get some lunch?” Jayce was always trying to get him to eat as much as he tried to get him to rest, so, hopefully, he would take the concession for what it was.

If the immediate grin and the “fine, but I’m paying, Vitya,” was anything to account for, he did. Viktor’s heart fluttered and he suppressed the suddenly strong urge to cough.

“And Caitlyn was telling me about when she got together with Vi and ya wanna know what Vi said when Caitlyn finally confessed that she had liked her for like, ever? She said ‘cool’ and shut the door in her face,” Jayce cut himself off to laugh and shovel more fries in his mouth, “She opened it back up immediately and they talked or whatever, but man, she is never gonna live that down.”

Viktor smiled fondly at Jayce. He was completely at ease, talking loudly and laughing louder at his own stupid jokes. Viktor really loved-

His own thoughts and Jayce’s ramblings were cut off by a coughing fit that shook Viktor’s entire body.

“Viktor!?” Jayce exclaimed, already out of his seat with his hands hovering over Viktor, unsure how to help but unable to just sit there.

Viktor held up his hand in a signal to wait. “ I’m fine,” he was able to croak out between coughs. “Bathroom. Alone” He added on when Jayce seemed intent on following him.
Jayce’s brows furrowed deeper, but he backed away and let Viktor go. Viktor sped to the bathroom, nearly running into and tripping over people on the short way there. He barged into the one-person bathroom and quickly locked the door behind him. He coughed and coughed and coughed, bent at the waist with tears in his eyes.

After an excruciating minute, Viktor finally felt the object dislodge from his throat. He spat into the sink quickly before looking down to see-

A petal.

No, not just one. A group of four or five small yellow petals all clumped up, covered in phlegm and mucous.

Viktor staggered back and slammed into the wall behind him. With horror, he realized he could feel the flowers reaching into his throat, now that he knew what they were. They were waiting, ready to strangle him at any moment.

He knew what the flowers meant. He knew who they were for. He wasn’t stupid. But he wanted to live in blissful denial for just a while longer.

He was in love with his best friend. His patently straight best friend. Who could never love him back. And the flowers proved it.

He had heard of the Flowering Ruin before. A fatal disease of flowers growing in the lungs of someone with unrequited love. One of his classmates back at university wrote his thesis on it, and would ramble about it to anyone unfortunate enough to be cornered by him. Viktor never thought an illness fueled by unrequited love would claim him, though he probably should have.

He threw himself hard into his work, both in his passion for it and in his desperation to prove himself. To everyone who looked at his poor, orphan upbringing and said he would never make it, but also to the lonely little boy with no friends to comfort him after his every invention was destroyed by the other boys on the street. His every attempt at friendship mocked and jeered at for too many years until he stopped trying all together, thinking himself closed off. He thought his work, his inventions were enough to fill the gaping maw of loneliness in his chest, his need for human contact.

Then Jayce came into the picture. Though it would be more accurate to say he barreled in, arms full of messy scribbled notes and face plastered with a wide, manic grin. They shared a few classes together at university, and Jayce easily caught Viktor’s eye. He was a genius, excitable golden retriever of a person and everyone seemed to naturally fall into his orbit. What was more shocking, was that Jayce noticed him right back.

He seemed to take Viktor’s constant seclusion in the back corner of lecture halls as a challenge. He slid into a seat next to him in the library one day and asked what Viktor was working on. Viktor was hesitant at first, but unable to resist talking about his work, getting more enthusiastic the more he was able to speak without being immediately shut down.

When Jayce first interjected his own idea to help an issue Viktor had with the mechanics of his design, Viktor was momentarily caught off guard. Jayce’s new perspective completely shifted how he was looking at it.

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry,” Jayce filled the silence, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “I just got excited, I didn’t mean to impose on your work I was just-”

“No, that’s brilliant!” Viktor quickly affirmed. Jayce shot him an energetic grin and explained his hypothesis, Viktor building off it once he did.

By the time the library closed and they were kicked out three hours later, they were finishing each other’s sentences and had made a breakthrough in research.
When they came to the fork in the pathway leading them in separate directions, Jayce turned to Viktor, stuck out his hand and asked, “Partners?”

“Partners,” Viktor affirmed.

Thus the most important relationship of Viktor’s life began.

That very same relationship now threatened to end his life. He didn’t know what to do. There was nothing he could do, but force himself to fall out of love or die a slow, suffocating death. Oh god, what would he tell Jayce? He would surely ask about his worsening health, he was already so worried about it. Viktor couldn’t tell him that it was the Flowering Ruin, Jayce would blame himself. It would just make them both more miserable.

No, he resigned himself, straightening up and taking confident strides towards the sink. Jayce didn’t need to know, at least not yet. Viktor would figure something out later. Right now he needed to dispose of the evidence before-

“Vitya?” Viktor heard a sheepish knock and the concerned voice of his partner float through the door. “I just wanted to, uh, check up on you. How’s it going in there?”

Viktor quickly swept the clump of petals into his pocket and flung open the door. “Jayce,” he started at the startled man, “I am fine, but wish to go home. I’ll see you in the lab tomorrow. Good day,” He gathered his scarf and jacket and rushed towards the door, unable to look Jayce in the eye for fear of him seeing past Viktor’s hastily put up barriers. He never had to hide anything for Jayce before… It made him feel sick.

“Oh, uh, yeah, bye, I guess. Try and feel better!” Jayce called out after him. The guilt of his abrupt departure gnawed at him, but the overwhelming fear of discovery pushed him to trudge into the snow outside.

Chapter Text

It was only once Viktor arrived in his apartment that he realized his error. ‘Home’ hadn’t been his apartment in five years. Home was the lab and he wanted nothing more than to sit down in his ratty office chair and tinker with his experiments. But therein lied the problem. Not only did he tell Jayce he was going to be out of the lab for the rest of the day, but Jayce’s very presence was both necessary and unbearable. He needed Jayce muttering to himself and clacking on keys in the background to focus on anything, but the thought of being around him at all made Viktor’s skin crawl.

The thought seemed to trigger another coughing fit. He leaned heavily on his cane before crumpling onto the couch and pulling out the handkerchief Jayce always made fun of him for carrying. He hacked violently into it for only a few minutes before his lungs calmed and he was able to spit out another wad of petals. It seemed… easier, now that the pathway was laid out by the first episode. It still knocked him on his ass, though.

Emotionally and physically exhausted, he stared curiously at the mass of petals. He had heard of some kind of… flower language. Different flowers had different meanings. In fact, when his friend from uni wrote his thesis on the Flowering Ruin, he talked about the most common flowers grown and what that meant for the afflicted. Didn’t he leave Viktor a book on that? A book he still had?

Curiosity drove him to hunt through the piles of books he had littered around his apartment. Viktor plucked one book emblazoned with a lily on its cover, claiming to be The Meaning of Flowers.

He devoured the book at a pace unusual even for him, desperate for the solace data always gave him. The more he read, though, the more disheartened he felt. Though the handful of petals he had didn’t allow him any definitive identification, yellow flowers seemed to have a common, negative, theme. Carnations for disappointment, hyacinths for jealousy. Chrysanthemums, tulips, daffodils… unrequited love. Even those with positive connotations were associated solely with friendship.

Tears welled up in Viktor’s eyes as he felt another damned flower reach into his throat. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know Jayce didn’t love him. Couldn’t love him. The agent of his death didn’t need to mock him so.

He felt… exhausted. All he wanted to do was lay down and rest. Jayce’s incredulous expression popped into his mind unbidden. You, admitting you need sleep like the rest of us frail humans? He could practically hear him say. The fond smile spreading across his lips was interrupted by yet another cough. Maybe that was how he would cure himself. Pavlovian conditioning against his feelings for the other man.

~~~~~

Viktor stood outside of the lab at 6 o'clock sharp, like always. Unable to function as a person before his third cup of coffee, his body had moved him here on autopilot. It was too late to turn back now. Besides, he had work he needed to do. He would just have to “tough it out” as Jayce always said.

“Viktor!”

Ah. Speaking of.

“Viktor! How are you feeling? Are you any better?” Jayce skidded to a stop next to Viktor, out of breath but still beaming at him.

Viktor felt his face flush and the Ruin rise in the back of his throat. So, nothing had changed, then. “Hello, Jayce. Yes, I am well. Come, we have work to do.”

The smile grew infinitely, impossibly brighter, “I’m glad, Vitya,” his soft tone was at odds with Viktor’s own robotic response. He slung an arm around Viktor’s shoulders and ushered them both inside.

"I was talking to Mel about additional funding for that new idea you had the other day, and she suggested a fundraiser. I know you hate them, but hear me out."

The warmth in Viktor’s chest is instantly snuffed out. 'Fundraiser' only meant bad things. It meant getting gawked at by all the rich Pilties. All they see in him is a street rat with a bad posture and a cane. A stain on the image of their perfect golden boy.

And now that he realized his feelings for said golden boy, watching him flirt with Mel all night would be agonizing. He wouldn’t make it ten minutes before rushing to the bathroom to cough up flowers.

"You have fun with that, Jayce," he declared, turning away with a final click of his cane.

"No, no, no, wait, Vitya, please?"

"Tell me, Jayce, why do I need to attend? I don't want to be there, they don't want me to be there-"

"I do," Jayce murmured, face pleading. "I want you there. I need my partner with me, Viktor."

"I… will think about it," he caves immediately. His inability to resist Jayce will be the death of him one day. Maybe he shouldn't use that turn of phrase anymore, when it probably will.

"Thank you, Viktor. I promise you'll enjoy it." He can feel the flowers pressing in response to his beaming grin.

This was going to be a long week.