Work Text:
Kunikida walked onto the building, not knowing what lies in the office. He opened the door and walked in, only to see people gather around the bandaged bastard's desk.
He mused as he placed his hand on his hip, "What's going on here?"
Yosano looked at him in horror, "Dazai happened."
Kunikida busted a vessel when he heard the name, as his hands curled up to a fist, his face blurted anger, "What'd he do this time?"
Yosano just pointed at him, "See for yourself."
Kunikida expected Dazai to be hanging on a rope trying suicide (more likely), or may have swallowed a poisonous mushroom (which Kunikida definitely don't want to take care of right now, he'd be way off his schedule), or probably lazing around (but that wouldn't gain any spectators now would he?), or any stupid things he usually does, but he is certain that he didn't expect this.
By 'this', I mean stacks and stacks of unfilled reports and paperwork that sat at his desk as Dazai carefully but fastly filled them out one by one. Kunikida almost passed out or broke his pen in horror, maybe he did both seeing this situation.
Dazai felt Kunikida's gaze on him as he filled it out carefully, he looked up and asked him, amusement laced on his tone, "Oh? Are you surprised Kunikida-kun?"
There was amusement but no hint of sarcasm or mischievousness they were used to hear, and this scared the whole of the Agency. Kunikida just stared at him in horror and glared as he walked off. Dazai shrugged and continued to do his work as people continue to look at him suspiciously.
After a while, he piled that stack of paper on Kunikida's desk, he looked at him in the eye and smiled, "Months of paperwork from last January to this year's March, all filled up to the brim, with the additional reports you asked. And no, Atsushi did not help me this time!"
Kunikida and the Agency looked at him in shock, this time, Kunikida finally screamed out in frantic horror, "That's it I'm done with keeping quiet!"
Dazai let out a little, 'huh?'. Kunikida stood up and pointed at him accusingly, "Who are you and what have you done with the waste of space!?"
Dazai tilted his head in confusion, "Huh? What do you mean?"
Kunikida pointed at the paper which was seated at the end of the desk, "This!"
Dazai then looked at him in confusion more until he snapped his fingers, "Ah!"
Even Ranpo can't comprehend what's happening, he only stared at him in disbelief (he's stumped, he couldn't figure it out I mean it's Dazai after all). Though it shouldn't really matter, nor should it surprise them, cause it's Dazai after all. No one knew what his past affiliation was until he finally let the word out. Hell, there were probably many things they didn't know about his private life. He's unreadable. He's Dazai (figures). Dazai just gave a closed-eyed smile, "Didn't the president tell you I'll be out for the whole month?"
Kunikida's mouth dropped (he didn't have a pen in hand to break), Ranpo blinked furiously (while aggressively stripping a lollipop), Yosano stared at him as others were either panicking or sighing in relief. Kunikida stammered, "W-what do you mean a whole month..?"
Dazai's face grew into a mischievous one, he held his right hand by his mouth and laughed, "Hoho! Don't tell me you'll miss me!"
Kunikida immediately argued, "No I won't! It's just that the president didn't tell me so I didn't prepare for the glorious month ahead!"
Dazai chuckled, "Sure sure, whatever makes Kunikida-kun sleep at night! Though I know it's a lie!"
Kunikida had his scolding session as Dazai just laughed through it. Dazai then felt eyes staring at him, not staring more like... I don't know? Concerned? I guess? Anyway, he turned and as he predicted, it was Atsushi, who was beside Kyouka. Atsushi looked at him some more before he decided to break the silence, "Dazai-san..."
Dazai looked at him, "Yes? Did you ask for me Atsushi-kun?"
Atsushi nodded, Dazai chuckled, "What do you need Atsushi-kun?"
Atsushi then stammered, "We-well uh, I was just wondering what's the reason that Dazai-san finds so important to uh, have a month away and the President, for once, would actually allow it? I-I mean! I-if you don't mind!"
Dazai gave a chuckle, "Well, President always says family first! So... that's what I'm going to do every once in a while! Also because I think that my lovely significant other and my sweet son, would like me to accompany them to a wine exhibition! And like a good husband I am, I am more than happy to be of accompaniment to them! Don't worry though everybody! I'll be calling as much as I can!"
Atsushi smiled, Kunikida groaned from afar, "Please don't.."
Dazai laughed. Well until Ranpo asked, "Wait, you have a family Dazai? And what wine exhibition? You're not really fond of wine."
Dazai answered having a shitty grin on his face, "Weellll, my significant other heard that there was going to be a wine exhibition held in Tokyo! An auction alongside it too! And knowing that my partner would replace me or even sell me for wine if my partner is broke, he wanted to go there!"
Yosano nodded and smiled, "Yeah, I heard there was good ol' fashioned wine there. Authentic as it can get. Such a good deal, if only I wasn't broke I woulda' flown there in a jiffy and bought it all. She got a good taste." She whined at Ranpo who was still wondering how he didn't figure it out (while still aggressively stripping the same lollipop).
Dazai laughed, "That's the reason why he wanted to go there, authentic fucking wine."
Kunikida's shout then was heard, "Language!"
Tanizaki then pitched in, "I'm sorry if it seems rude to ask but how did it turn to a family thing if it was more of a her type of thing?"
Dazai answered, "No need to be so tense Tanizaki-kun! Well, yes, it is something that my partner likes more than me thing, but seeing my partner's eyes light up with happiness when my partner sees something my partner likes, or something my partner would do with determination is something that I'd like to see more and could make me withstand wine or anything that I don't like." A small genuine smile was tugging at his lips, he couldn't really help stop loving his little chibi. His chibi was too adorable, the way his partner's cheeks would set aflame when he teases his chibi, the way his partner just does everything so gracefully, the way his chibi do, well, anything!
The family they made is something special to him. They were precious to him, and he would burn the world than give them up. Before, he thought that only a fool would love someone, and that would be the source of their weakness. But look at Dazai now, he now is that fool, though, they give him more strength than weakness. Their smiles are his strength himself, and it makes him want to keep... living.
Dazai continued, "And to answer the 'how did it turn to blah blah thing', was because my son over heard what my lovely alcoholic loving chibi ass of a partner said. So my son wanted to join us in Tokyo! So it's kinda turned into like a family bonding or sorts!"
Dazai was about to turn and lie around on the couch, bothering people, the usual until Ranpo asked.
"You haven't answered my question Dazai, you have a family?"
Dazai smiled, "I thought that my previous answers were clear enough to state that I do. Why do you seem interested in my private life Ranpo-kun?"
Ranpo smirked and went back sucking his lollipop (congratulations on finally opening the poor lollipop), "Nothing just making sure."
Dazai smiled, "Good."
Dazai then flew himself on the couch, head first. He then changed into a more comfortable position and put his headphones on his ears. He then started listening to some western music also humming along to some tunes. Though unknown to him, many were still holding questions.
Dazai's married?!
Which female did he force to marry him?!
Did he blackmail her?!
Was she crazy about marrying Dazai Osamu let alone having kids!?
Was she kidnapped and was forced to marry him!?
So many questions fill their minds (except Kenji, he's just happy for him, bless that pure soul) but it seems none has actually considered that they love each other. And hey, who could blame them? It's Dazai after all.
Many returned to their workspace, though, still eyeing Dazai from time to time. He just laid there though, in complete serenity, listening to some western music from an American singer named Taylor Swift.
Then came lunch. And oh boy did Atsushi regret joining the Agency even more.
The clock ticked and symbolized lunch has come, some agency members pulled out their respective bentos and tupperwares and ate their meal (Ranpo just ate pastries from the cafe below though). Though, Dazai was an exception. Dazai didn't bring any bentos, nor did he have enough money to buy something from the Cafe Uzumaki below, (when did that matter?) and since his tab is... already at its limit (correction: he's been banned until he could pay it off, in which he can't) so he just laid there and let his stomach growl while listening to music, besides it wasn't his first time skipping a meal.
Atsushi noticed this and was going to offer a portion of his chazuke (which he helped make with Akutagawa earlier since he wanted to cook for him) to his mentor but was stopped midway by an earthquake. It wasn't necessarily an earthquake, it was more of like a giant walking or a mid-shaking calamity or something. Everyone was confused and or panicking with the exception of Dazai.
Then when the shaking of the ground stopped, he let out an exhale of breath and was going to continue what he planned earlier but was stopped when suddenly the door to the agency opened.
A male with long red hair (ginger, almost) that sits on his shoulder with striking blue eyes walked in. His clothes consisted of a black crop jacket, black pants, boots, and a vest under. A choker on his neck as his jacket leaned in on his shoulders, flowing behind him as his hat sits perfectly on the top of his head. His stance shows confidence and power. His whole demeanor screamed power. His whole outfit shouted Port Mafia. He is a member of the Port Mafia.
The agency wasted no time standing up and holding their respected weapons excluding Kyouka, Ranpo (he finally understood what's happening, good job), and Dazai.
Kunikida, "What do want from us, Port Mafia Executive?"
Chuuya says nothing and just looked back and seemed to be... calming someone down?
Kunikida keeps his aim at Chuuya, then he noticed small hands on the executive's leg. He held his gun tighter, not letting his guard down.
Kunikida demanded, "Let that kid go." (Dazai perked up at the word 'kid')
Chuuya was comforting the kid behind him by the time, he wasn't really in any mood to fight (he was too excited for the wine exhibition lol), so his eyes widened at Kunikida's demand. He told one more sweet nothing to the kid and looked at Kunikida, his face and eyes conveying that he was hurt at his demand.
Chuuya asked, "P-pardon?"
Kunikida keeps his aim, so did the others, "I said let the kid go, Mr. Executive."
Chuuya seemed offended, "And why would I?"
Kunikida answered, keeping his aim at the redhead, "Isn't that what you're here for? Delivering another kid?" (abused was at the tip of his tongue, he hasn't forgotten about Kyouka).
Chuuya scoffed, "No! Why would I do that!?"
Kunikida answered, lowering his gun, "That kid is another victim of the Port Mafia, I have heard of Q and I have seen Kyouka and Akutagawa. That is for sure another victim of your organization."
Chuuya looked at him disgustingly and crouched. He then held both his hands to the younger's ear to cover it, he was probably saving him from his profanity, "As if I'd let my son be captive of that hellhole of an organization! I'd die first than hand him to my fucking Boss! And for your information, Boss knows about his fucking existence so it's no fucking use using this as blackmail to me shitty fucking bastards! It's that me and my husband just refuse to let our son grow up in such a shitty twisted organization! I'm still a fucking person you know, I have morals you fucking bastards!"
Kunikida then dropped his gun, fully letting his guard down, the others follow suit. Kunikida asked, "So, you're his father?"
Chuuya scoffed, "Yes! Finally, you understand!". He let his hold on his son's ear loosen. He then took the bento (where did that come from) that he put down gently before he covered his son's ears.
Kunikida then asked after Chuuya stood up again, "So what are you both here for?"
Before Chuuya answered, he encouraged the boy to stand beside him. The boy reluctantly nodded and went to stand beside his father, still clutching his jacket firmly. Chuuya smiled to his son, and he smiled back. The Agency swore they never thought that they'd see a Port Mafia Executive act so sweet and caring. They exchanged words until Chuuya sighed. He then used his free hand and tucked a hair behind his son's ear
Chuuya looked back at him and told him, "Well, we were planning on originally just delivering the bento but," He looked at his son with a fond smile, fuck, it's so pure. "Can we stay a little longer? My son would like to know his father's colleagues." A gentle smile was given to them. One they never thought that they'd get from a cold-blooded murderer.
Then Chuuya's words dawned on them. Husband. WHAT? (Kenji excluded, he's confused)
Dazai finally decided to walk over to the crowded area.
Dazai asked, "What's happening here? What's with the tension?"
Then boom. The voice that made everyone regret things. The kid spoke up.
"Papa!"
What. What the fuck.
Dazai didn't spare a look, he only smiled fondly and crouched. He opened his arms, inviting the younger in an embrace. (The Agency didn't notice this though, they were too busy sinking in the new information, excluding Ranpo. He was snickering while munching on some chips.)
Kunikida, still recovering from the shock, hesitantly spoke up, "I'm sorry but you must have been mistaken, ther-"
Dazai cut him off and spoke, his hands still open, "Come to Papa!"
Now what the fuck.
The child brightened up but then looked up to Chuuya, he seemed to be asking for permission. Dazai stayed there though, smile growing bigger each passing second. He sat there, patient (which was not Dazai's forte). Chuuya chuckled and nodded. The child was visibly getting brighter, Chuuya only smiled at the sight. He then turned towards Dazai and started walking in front of him.
The Agency stood there just watching the scene go down. Faces plastered in shock as the boy finally hugged the bandaged man.
They embraced for a while then Dazai picked up the kid by his arms. The kid giggled a lot and gave a smile to which the bandaged man didn't hesitate to return the favor.
Dazai then gave the kid a kiss on the cheek. He lovingly ruffled his hair and kissed the kid some more (on the cheek as what most loving fathers do). He then turned to Chuuya and smiled.
He fucking smiled. At his supposed enemy.
He then started to walk in front of him which Chuuya casually watches the scene in front of them.
The Agency was confused, scared, or terrified by now. Who wouldn't? It's Dazai. A Port Mafia Executive. And a fucking child. What could go horribly wrong? Knowing Dazai? It's everything.
Dazai then casually asked the Port Mafia Executive, smile playing on his face as he held the kid tighter, probably so that he wouldn't drop the child, "What are you doing here? I thought all Port Mafia Executives were busy at the time? Especially you."
Chuuya looked at him accusingly as his lips tug a smirk, "You should know why I'm here. You were the one who bugged me last night on bringing you crab, Mackerel."
Dazai laughed, "As if you weren't the one who pushed me to join you on this trip."
The kid laughed, Chuuya then laughed with them.
After their laughs hollowed down, Dazai said something the horrified the Agency, "I'm happy you're here darling."
And what Chuuya's response haunted them even more.
"And we're more than happy to be here, bandaged man."
Dazai laughed. Then Dazai snapped his hands in remembrance, he then turned to Atsushi and asked, "Atsushi, have you and Kyouka packed your clothes yet?"
In which Atsushi, who was just standing in the corner, acting surprised finally spoke up, "Ah, not yet Dazai-san, Ryuu said he wanted to help us so we'll pack it with the siblings later."
Dazai smiled, "Good."
Chuuya then continued his sentence, "We don't want anyone getting left behind yeah?"
Which Atsushi automatically translated; "Shuuji would throw a fit and me and the Mackerel can't enjoy our fucking stay."
Atsushi laughed, "Got it Chuuya-san."
Chuuya went over to him, hit him playful while smiling, "How many times do I tell you? Just Chuuya is fine kid!"
Atsushi blushed, "A-ah.. I'm sorry Chuuya-sa-! I mean Chuuya!"
Chuuya laughed.
Chuuya then walked over to Dazai and handed him his bento (Which is surprisingly still intact). He smiled, "Here, Mackerel. Crab, your favorite."
Dazai lowered the kid. He then took the bento and smiled, "Thank you Chibi."
The kid then sat on the nearest chair, Dazai and Chuuya's eyes still on him, watching fondly as he started scribbling on the back of his hand.
Dazai then turned back to Chuuya and gave him a small peck on the lips which the other didn't hesitate to return. After they parted he told him, "How about you two stay for a while and help me explain to them?" He pointed at the agency members.
Chuuya looked at them and turned back to look at him confusedly, "So your president didn't tell them jackshit 'bout us? And them?"
Dazai shook his head. Chuuya groaned, "It's going to be a long fucking day."
Dazai laughed and kissed his nose, "We'll get through it partner, like how we always do, back then and till now."
Chuuya looked at him and smiled, "Yeah, I know."
Then he added, "But you're still a fucking sap."
Dazai laughed.
They spent the day at the Agency explaining things to the members. In which the president walked in and also announced that he and the Port Mafia Boss are together. This day isn't really good for Kunikida's pens.
.
.
.
"Stupid bastard, now look at what you've done! Our kid loves Ranpo more than he loves us!" A redhead groaned while he slumped into the bed, throwing the blanket over him, hiding under the sheets.
A brown hair male-only laughed in response as he continue to pack his clothes, "At least he's fond of them, like how he's fond of Hirotsu-san and Ane-san."
The redhead grumbled, under the sheets, "I know, but what if he asks to replace me cuz' I'm not being a good father and shit? I'm not ready for that."
Dazai then looked at the ginger under the sheets, his silhouette showing. He frowned, this man is the best father his son could ever ask for, but due to past traumas and... stuff, he couldn't think so. Seriously, what has Mori done to lower his self-esteem?
The brunette then crawled beside the ginger, his hands laying on top of the ginger's shoulder. He then rubbed circles to soothe the ginger beside him, who, if I may add, was still under the sheets. Chuuya flinched a bit then relaxed under the brunette's soft touch.
The brunette hummed, "You know he would never do that right?"
The ginger curled himself up more into a circle as he grumbled, "I know.. but I'm just stating possibilities.."
The brunette responded, "That might never happen."
The ginger muttered, "I know but, if that happens, I'm not ready. We may have gotten him from an abandoned orphanage, but he's already my son after we took him in. I love him dearly."
The brunette hummed, signaling the other to go on.
And the ginger did, "But I don't know if I'm being a good father..."
The brunette lands a kiss on his head through the silk sheets, he told him, "I don't know where you got that from but I'm pretty sure you're being a wonderful father."
The ginger's eyes widened at the words. Fuck, this Mackerel knows how to make my misery less.. miserable.
"...You think so...?"
Dazai smiled, "I know so."
Chuuya then proceeded to get out of the sheets and sit down. He faced the brunette and asked him, "Why..?"
The brunette then put his hand on the ginger's waist and pulled him into his lap, the ginger was surprised by the act, he looked up to read Dazai's expression but he never expected much, let alone this.
There was nothing more but a genuine smile on his face, no signs of mischief or invalidation present on his face. Just pure adoration for the man that he's looking at.
And he's looking at Chuuya.
Chuuya's face reddened at the realization, he tried to pull away but to no avail the expression on the male's face makes him want to stay.
Stay with him forever.
The male then traced the ginger's facial features, the nose, the lips, the eyes. Everything. Every flaw, every perfection. Everything.
He then told him, "Does Chuuya know why I still live?"
Chuuya answered him still staying in that position, "Because of Oda?"
Dazai shook his head 'no'.
What? But wasn't it Oda who helped him be a better person? Chuuya doesn't understand.
Dazai looked at him with pure affection as his partner tried to figure out why.
He kissed the ginger's head which caught the ginger's attention.
Dazai smiled, "Chuuya looks so adorable when he tries to figure it out! But as far as I'm concerned, I don't want my beautiful husband's face be covered with wrinkles in just a few months! So I'll be doing you a favor and telling you who was it!"
Chuuya nods and looks at him expectantly, Dazai almost coos at him but he made sure to stay in focus. Hus chibi needs to know his worth.
Dazai smiles, "It was you."
The ginger's eyes widen, "M-me..?"
Dazai nods. The ginger looks down, fiddling with his fingers as he takes up the new information, "Why.. me..?"
Dazai answered him, "Your eyes."
Chuuya asked, "My eyes?"
Dazai nodded, "They shine like diamonds in the rough."
Chuuya laughed, "Didn't Mori call us that?"
Dazai nodded, "Yes, but I'm not one, I'm a polished coal."
Chuuya allows him to continue as he sat there confused.
Dazai, "Chuuya, I lost all my passion on living since I was young, I never knew the purpose of this thing called living but."
"But..?"
"When I saw you, your eyes, your stance, your hair, your... everything, it drew me to you."
"Your stance showed power and loyalty. Your hair is so lively. Your eyes... showed life, showed dedication, showed everything I'm not. And I guess that's why I always thought you were interesting."
Chuuya sat there listening intently.
"At first I thought you were just a pawn to be played. Something the Port Mafia could use to trample others, our trump card. But, then after a few missions with you, I thought you were more than that. You were more than some mere executive. You were more than having a God inside of you. You were more than just a plaything. And God, I swear. You made me want two things I never thought I could want."
"And that is..?"
"I want to live, and I want you."
Chuuya's eyes widened. When Dazai shared his vows it was sweet and short, and he never wanted to force the brunette into saying something he doesn't want to talk about. He was happy to just have him by his side. But hearing Dazai be so honest? He felt like he fell in love all over again. And he wanted to hear more.
"If I hadn't met you, Oda's wish for me would be out of the drain. I would have died before he died or committed suicide after he left me."
"But you came. You came and all my theories, walls, whatever Mori made me and wanted me to be, the demon fucking prodigy, came crashing down. You were and still are the reason I'm here. Everything I do, I think of you. You know that all those suicide attempts I made would all go in vain. I would never do them if I knew they would be the cause of my death."
"I would never die if I know Chuuya and my little Shuuji is at home, waiting for me to return. I would never wish to die and instead I'd wish to live forever, an eternity if it's with my family."
"Chuuya, you mean the world to me, I would even burn the world if you asked. I would do anything you want me to. Unless it's paperwork. But anything else. I would do without a whim if you'd only ask. Chuuya Nakahara-Dazai. I love you. And I'd live a million lives and die a million deaths just to be with you. From this life until all the others that would come."
Chuuya was now bawling. He was now reminded of what the Mackerel is, he's good with words that have no meaning. But he's also good with words that have genuinity behind them. And he'd only do that with his family.
.
.
.
"Dazai,"
"Yes, My love?"
"You rival a masterpiece worth tens of billions."
"And Chuuya here always calling me a sap when it's him!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"..."
"But,"
"Ha?"
"I'm not the masterpiece."
"What the fuck are you talking about? You are!"
"For me, you always were and still is the masterpiece that rivals everyone else's."