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Being domestic wasn’t too bad, he realized. 6 found he had actually started to enjoy menial house chores. Especially when he was doing it for two, as those were his thoughts as he added in some of the paste to the pot. Normally Koichi was the one to cook for them both, but 6 was starting to feel restless. And Koichi had taught him how to make a few basic meals on his own. Right now, he was trying his hand at making some soup. It would be good for warming up from the cold, and easy enough, he couldn’t mess it up. It would be a nice treat for when Koichi came home from work.
And if the squeaking hinges were any indication, that would be sooner rather than later.
“6, I’m home!” Koichi shouted from the doorway.
It had been a routine of sorts for Koichi to give that greeting when he came through the door. It was sort of funny how unnecessary it was. The penthouse wasn’t large by any means, and you could see the front door from the kitchen. Meaning all 6 had to do to know if Koichi was home was to turn around. But the greeting was nice like he belonged there.
Koichi was giving little mutters of grumbles as he took off his shoes. There must have been annoying people at the office. 6 had long since known not to ask about work, and it just seemed to make him sad. Koichi had said their home was where he wanted to forget about work and just be happy with 6. It had made something disgusting come from 6’s heart. The idea that this home was theirs .
He liked it more than he wanted to admit.
“Finally back, hero?” he asked in a teasing manner. The nickname came off much softer than he was expecting. Look at him, growing domestic.
Koichi made his way over to the kitchen, wrapping his arms around 6 and giving a quick peck to his cheek. “That I am. What are you making?”
He relaxed into the embrace. Koichi’s arms were like coming home. Soft and comforting, not that he would willingly admit it out loud. Luckily, Koichi didn’t need to know that.
“Miso soup, I figured it was easy enough not to mess up,” 6 said truthfully.
Koichi hugged 6 a little tighter.
“Aw, don’t say that. Your skills have improved a lot; we haven’t even set off the fire alarm in months.”
6 tried to hide the embarrassed blush that came to his face. The event from a few months ago, where the smoke had filled the entire kitchen, that 6 would still swear up and down was Koichi’s fault. After all, he was the one to start the kissing that had escalated enough that they had lost their senses. Still, the reminder was embarrassing.
“Oh, by the way. Pop mentioned the concept of us all getting coffee at the Hotta Brother’s new place,” Koichi said into 6’s back with muffled words.
“Yeah, we can,” 6 says, trying not to roll his eyes. The brothers had just had their new grand opening just a few weeks ago. There would probably be people there. People who would recognize Koichi and want to talk to him. People who would look at 6 with barely hidden sneers.
6 tried to block out the thoughts by stirring the soup more. It was good. Too good. 6 was sure not to take too much advantage of Koichi’s touch. He gave a subtle push on Koichi.
He wasn’t sure why a part of him hurt when the arms around him had dropped, and 6 could hear Koichi’s footsteps walking away.
“I’ll pencil it in on the calendar,” Koichi says.
6 made an affirmative noise, trying not to choke. Maybe Koichi wouldn’t notice? It had taken 6 a moment when he first saw it.
The calendar was a new addition to the penthouse. A calendar was put up as a place where they could put upcoming plans. Koichi had been nagging at him for a few days now to add things he wanted to do on the calendar.
Today wasn’t the first day he had considered doing so. But it was the first he had actually gotten as far as looking at the damn thing. Then he saw the date.
“Hey, it’s been a year,” Koichi said offhandedly.
6 had hoped he wouldn’t notice. The world was too cruel to allow that.
It was like a lifetime had passed, but it was just one year in reality.
A year ago, he couldn’t have imagined this.
He couldn't have imagined this warm place, safe and secure.
“6, come join me,” Koichi whined from their couch.
“Be right there,” 6 called back.
Luckily the soup had just finished. 6 put it on a warmer, enough that it would hold for a while, and made his way to join Koichi, who resembled a spread-out starfish, obviously exhausted from work. 6 was even more glad he decided to make food, to take one less thing off his partner’s list.
As soon as he sat down, Koichi buried his head in 6’s shoulder. It shocked him for a bit. Out of the two of them, 6 was more likely to kick off cuddle sessions. Not that 6 was complaining, he cherished any bit of contact Koichi was willing to give.
And he had given a lot of it over the past year, like everything else he gave.
It really had been only a year. With people 6 didn’t realize would stay around for so long in his life.
He had spent a year with Koichi, the person who had taken him in immediately. The one who reached out his hand to save him. 6 knew something was special about him from the beginning, but time had shown so much more. 6 found himself reaching to hold onto Koichi’s hand.
Even Pop, still healing from the aftereffects of Queen Bee on her body, stayed around. Someone who still had some reservations about him had begun warming up to him slowly. She even greeted him with smiles now, without any bit left of the outright glare she once gave him. Even the nervous smiles had fallen away to something more genuine. She had even recently started inviting the two of them to places, instead of just Koichi with 6 tagging along.
It was nice. Almost too nice. 6 was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He had been waiting for it for a while. From that first time, Koichi reached out to him.
From the first month when Koichi had asked him, nearly begging him to stay with him. 6 had thought it was just the vigilante wanting to keep an eye on 6, despite the ankle bracelet that tracked his movements, but Koichi had never asked him to leave. He had opened up his home like he did his heart. 6 had ended up carving his way into both as Koichi invited him in.
Even after a few months, as Pop had gotten better, as Naruhata had started to build up again, Koichi wanted him to stay. He had started calling things theirs .
The vigilante wasn’t that naïve. Neither was 6. He knew this period of pretend affection would end at some point.
6 was just waiting for the moment Koichi realized it wasn’t worth it. That he wasn’t worth it.
His thoughts were swirling as he repeated his thoughts to himself, finding the spots of his vision were fading in and out.
6 was reminded of the feeling of taking on his different forms. He was more of himself than ever, but still not human.
He had only begun feeling human in the last few months. And now he found he didn’t want to lose it, as selfish as it was. Fearful, he grasped at his only lifeline.
“That’s a pretty tight grip you’ve got there, 6.”
His voice was teasing and light. If 6 could bottle it for a rainy day, he would. Koichi’s voice was usually good at chasing the clouds away. There was no need for a bottle, though, because Koichi would always stay that way. It was a fact of life. Koichi was good.
And 6 was Number 6.
That’s all he would ever be. This wretched thing he was.
“Hey, 6, it's kind of hurting,” Koichi tells him.
The look Koichi gave him could have been of concern, but all he could see was the fact he was hurting Koichi.
Like a rubber band snapping, he dropped Koichi’s hand, and any warmth he had been feeling was gone.
It was a cold rushing over the room. Unbearably cold. Nearly frozen.
6’s eyes traveled down to his hands… were they shaking?
Why were they shaking?
“Hey, 6, can you look at me?” Koichi whispered softly.
6 shook his head; eyes focused on his hands.
Looking at the long digits of his fingers seemed to be the only thing holding him together. It was similar to a wound-up thread, tension pulling him in every way.
If he looked up, he would break. But he couldn’t bring himself to disobey Koichi. That would only break him more. The cards stacked against him, no way to win, certain to lose, like walking on a glass walkway over a long cavern. It would break and send him falling.
“If you can’t, that’s okay.”
Firm, but not unkind. Just like Koichi.
He was always acting like a guiding hand. Koichi, always having patience for him.
Patience that 6 didn’t deserve.
Koichi had obviously had a rough day. And here he was freaking out.
“Can you just breathe with me?”
It would hurt. His lungs couldn’t handle breathing before, as they had nearly collapsed when he had tried pushing Overclock to its max. There was no difference now. He would fall, and that was it.
But Koichi wanted him to. 6 tried to let the air in. Of course, he’d fall anywhere with Koichi.
“That's good, you’re doing so good,” Koichi affectionately tells him with low and reassuring words.
He’s not good.
He can’t be good.
With everything he was.
And after everything he did? That was the one thing he could never be.
“I know what you’re thinking, but you are. You’re so good, my love.”
It was spoken like a whisper, but the words were bouncing loudly around 6’s mind. Taking over until it was the only thing he could hear.
“6, you are a good person.”
Hands were now cupping his face softly. It was like surfacing from underwater, and he was now breathing again. The hands were making little circles on his cheeks, lighting them up with a certain warmth, Koichi’s warmth. Filling him up with something he had forgotten.
It’s always you, isn’t it, Haimawari Koichi?
It was the same as it was a year ago.
Koichi thought he was worth saving then.
Koichi thought he was good now.
Maybe one day, 6 could believe him.
6 let himself fall further into the comfort Koichi gave so quickly. Arms wrapped around him once again, and small circles continued on his back. 6 felt himself wrap his own arms around Koichi’s figure. His eyes were burning with unshed tears.
Koichi, please believe in me just a little longer .
“It’s okay if you need to cry,” Koichi whispered in his ear, as 6 could feel the tears forming. “I’ve got you.”
He tightened his arms around his partner as 6 let the tears fall further down.