Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It's been years since Wade was last in New York, but nothing much has changed. He almost didn't want to return. Too many bad memories cluttering the streets. But he’d been sent the info for a very interesting job which has pulled him back. According to the reports, a dangerous vigilante is causing havoc in New York and a frankly ridiculous bounty is on the table for whoever can unmask him. Wade figures why the hell not, unmasking Spider-Man might be an entertaining use of his time.

He sits outside one of his favourite Mexican restaurants, taco in one hand and newspaper in the other. The Daily Bugle seemed the leading source on all stories about the dangerous vigilante. It looks like his general motive is to get involved with the city's criminals and make it impossible for the police to get proper evidence and convictions. Then once in a while the Spider would face off against a weird and wonderful array of lunatics, causing an endless list of casualties and property damage.

New York has really gone to shit since Wade left.

From the sounds of things, Spidey spends his time patrolling the streets, looking for trouble. So Wade figures he would start by shaking up some low-lifes and seeing if he could get a lead that way.

Before he can even make a start, Wade hears a woman screaming from the alley way across the street. He glances up as a flash of red and blue drops from the sky into the alley.

‘Bingo.’ Wade tosses the taco and paper, running into the street and flipping off any cars that honk at him as he crosses.

A woman runs past Wade as he approaches, tears streaming down her face. But she looks unharmed.

He rounds a corner and spots two figures facing off. One is a gangly teen wearing an oversized hoodie to hide his face, holding a tiny flick knife. The other is slender and muscular, dressed in skin tight spandex that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.

With a flick of his wrist, a web shoots out and knocks the knife from the teens hands. ‘Come on man. You're really gonna come at me with that?’

‘Fuck.’ The teen was panicking, flustered. Wade could only guess that this was his first mugging. ‘Look, I’m sorry! I am. I just… shit I got nothing and I’m so hungry. I wasn't going to hurt her! I just wanted to take her wallet and get something to eat, okay?’

‘There are better ways to earn money man.’

Since neither of them seem to have noticed him yet, Wade slips into the shadows, wanting to see how this plays out.

‘There's nothing for me. Unless I join a gang for protection or something.’

‘Absolutely don't do that. I know it's hard, okay. But you can be better than all of this. There are people out there who can help you.’

‘No-one can help me.’

‘I know some people who can. There's a shelter downtown okay? It’s called F.E.A.S.T. You tell them Spider-Man sent you and they’ll hook you up. Whatever you need; food, somewhere to stay, legal advice. Hell, they’ll even throw in a Spider-Man cookie to sweeten the deal.’ The vigilante explains, keeping his voice light and calm.

‘Why would they help me?’

‘They have a pretty good policy there. “You help one person, you help everyone.” Go and get the help you need, then pass it forward okay?’

‘Okay. I’ll go. I will. Just… don't turn me into the cops?’

‘You get one “Get out of jail free” card okay? Don't waste it.’

‘I won't!’ The teen stammers, taking that as his cue to run. ‘I promise.’

Wade stays in darkness, leaning against the wall and watching as Spider-Man shoots a web and pulls himself up to the roof. He's reminded of Colossus’ infamous ‘four or five moments’ speech. Spidey was definitely more persuasive than the X-Man. Wade almost believes that maybe Spidey is right. Maybe even someone like him could turn his act around.

Ah shit. This was probably one of those four or five moments huh?

Chapter Text

Wade has to continue the hunt. More out of curiosity than a desire for the reward money now.

Listening intently to the police scanner, Wade tries to pick out crimes that would draw the attention of Spider-Man. According to the Bugle, he always appears in the wake of explosive or frankly weird crimes. So when Wade hears about a crazy alien made of black goo terrorising Chinatown, he figures that would be his best bet. Throwing himself into the streets, Wade follows the sounds of chaos until he finds a lumbering slimy humanoid figure scaling a building to get away from police fire. Wade climbs up to the rooftops, waiting at the top for the …whatever it was. Monster? Alien?

Massive claws appear over the edge of the railing, pulling the creature up.

Woah, those were some teeth.

‘All the better to eat you with.’ Wade chuckles to himself as he draws his katanas, ready for a fight.

‘Woah, woah, woah.’ A voice calls out as a red and blue figure falls onto the roof. Spider-Man plants himself between the pair, facing Wade with his hands up in a placating gesture. ‘Don't hurt him.’

‘You want to let the big bad monster wreck the city?’ Wade asks, gesturing to the creature with his katana.

‘It’s fine I got this. Just give me a minute okay?’ Spider-Man spins around to face the monster. ‘Hey Venom. What happened?’

‘Eddies a dick.’ The monster growls.

‘Ah, you guys got in a fight again?’

‘Called us a parasite.’

‘I’m sure he didn't mean it buddy.’

Venom grabs the AC unit from the rooftop, throwing it off the building in a rage.

Spider-man runs to the edge, webs shooting out to catch it before it falls into the crowded street. ‘Hey! You got to be careful man. People could get hurt.’ He huffs as he pulls it back up to the roof. An impressive feat for such scrawny arms.

‘We don't care.’

Watching a creature with that many teeth pout was just….bizarre. Definitely top ten weirdest things Wade’s ever seen. And that was quite the list.

‘Yes, you do. I know you do. Come on, what happened with Eddie?’

‘Wouldn't let me eat anyone.’

‘That's his job. You know that. How about we go and talk it out? That body probably won't last long huh? How about you hop on and I’ll give you a ride back to Eddie?’

Spider-Man holds out his hand. Venom reluctantly reaches out and the second they make contact, black goo engulfs Spideys arm, quickly taking over his whole body. Spider-Man shudders for a moment as his suit turns from red and blue to a dark black. The body that Venom abandons falls to the floor, unconscious.

He turns to face Wade. ‘I’m going to take Venom back to their normal host-body. Can you keep an eye on him? He should wake up in the next hour or so. Thanks!’ He raises his hand and black tendrils mimicking his webs pull him away and up to the rooftops.

In a confused daze, Wade picks the unconscious man up and carries him down to the street. Dumping him with the police and escaping before they try to question him.

Chapter Text

The next night, Spider-Man finds Deadpool first. He lands on the rooftop with a soft thud ‘Hey man. Thanks for the help yesterday. Venom didn’t hurt you, did they?’

‘Nah, I’m all good Spidey. Nice to meet you by the way. Big fan. I’m Deadpool. Otherwise known as the merc with the mouth.’

‘I’ve heard of you.’

‘Ah, my reputation precedes me. All good I hope.’

Spider-Man makes a ‘so-so’ gesture with his hands. ‘You took down Weapon X. That was pretty impressive. But you left a body count the Punisher would be jealous of. Which I can't really get behind.’

‘Trust me, they all deserved it.’

‘No-one deserves death.’ Spidey argues with an exasperated tone.

‘Not with the kind of shit they were up to. Trust me.’

‘I-’ Before Spider-Man can reply, an explosion rocks the building. Spidey looks up, finding the source of danger instantly. A dark cackle echoes through the air as the Green Goblin swoops past them, almost knocking Wade off the building.

‘Mother-fucker.’ Wade grabs his guns bracing himself for a fight, but Spider-Man just jumps to the edge of the rooftop.

‘Harry!’ He yells after the Goblin. ‘You get back here!’

The Goblin spins around on his hoverboard, circling back to hover over them, ‘Spider….’ His voice drops its deep, gravely quality. Sounding a lot more insecure. ‘I know you.’

‘Yeah you do buddy. What the hell, the hospital said you were doing great. No violent episodes in almost a year now! You’ve been doing great.’

The goblin hops off his hoverboard to stand on the roof next to Spidey. ‘I… I woke up and I didnt know where I was. And I just needed to escape and get home and I found my gear and…’ The green mask covers the man's expression, but he sounds totally broken. Wade can't help but feel a bit sorry for the guy.

‘Hey, hey.’ Spider-Man rests both hands on the goblins shoulders. ‘It’s okay. Come on, let's get you out of that gear and back to the hospital before someone realises you're gone.’

‘Yeah…. Yeah. I’m sorry…’

‘You’re okay.’ Spider-Man pulls the Goblin into a hug before hopping onto the hoverboard, helping the goblin climb on behind him. ‘Hey, Deadpool. I’ll catch you later, okay?’

Wade was once again left alone on a rooftop, watching Spider-Man disappear in the distance. Damn it.

Chapter Text

The bar was just opening as Peter trudges in after a disastrous day of work. “Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children” wasn't exactly the classiest place to drink his sorrows away, but the drinks were cheap and Jack tended to get snippy if he hadn't visited in a while. So Peter figures he might as well kill two birds with one stone. Besides, it wasn't like he had anywhere else to be.

‘Mr Parker!’ Dopinder beams as the door chimes to indicate Peter's entrance, hastily mopping the health hazard worthy floors.

Peter returns the greeting with a half-hearted wave before dropping down into a seat by the bar.

‘Well, that isn't the Parker enthusiasm we all know and love.’ Weasel snarks, already grabbing a glass.

‘Give me a break Jack. Today doesn't deserve any enthusiasm.’

‘Oof, that bad huh?’

‘Got fired.’ Peter huffs, falling forward to let his head rest on the bar. An action he instantly regrets. How was it so sticky? Gross.

‘What did you do this time?’ Weasel asks, sliding Peter a drink. The drink sparkles with a sickly green colour, but Peter has never been one to question free alcohol.

‘How dare you.’ Peter gasps in mock outrage, sitting up straight again. ‘I am a model employee. But the cafe is closing. Something about being foreclosed by the bank I think.’

‘Well, at least you still have the photography gig?’

‘Yeah but the Bugle commission won't be enough to pay the bills.’

‘Hmmm.’ Weasel leans forward on the bar, looking Peter up and down. ‘How about you work here for a bit?’

Peter arches an eyebrow, it could be hard to tell when Weasel was joking sometimes. The man had a bit of an odd sense of humour.

‘I’m serious. Bar work, bit of light hacking. A few contract kills here and there.’

Across the room, Dopinder drops his mop, a betrayed look on his face as it clatters to the ground. Peter rolls his eyes as Weasel doubles over laughing at the affronted expression on the taxi driver/aspiring hitman's face.

Peter considers his options. ‘Yes to the bar work. Maybe to the hacking. Hell no to the killing.’

‘Figured as much. Surprised that Perfect-Peter is tempted by the hacking though. Thought that would go against that moral code of yours.’

Peter shrugs, swallowing his drink in one swift gulp. ‘I’d have to vet the jobs. See how illegal we’re talking. But money's money. Right?’

‘Right you are Peter.’ Weasel smirks, topping up Peter's drink. ‘Welcome to the team.’

***

The bar starts to fill up pretty quickly after that. Peter mostly tunes the noise out while he browses his phone, flicking through some of the offers for hacking jobs Weasel had sent him. He wasn't dumb enough to try hacking Stark Industries, so that job was absolutely out. But the Oscorp job was tempting. Peter figures that while he was getting whatever files the client was looking for he could do his own digging and follow up on a certain genetically-modified spider. There was no way that the actual spider was still around, but the research notes would certainly be an interesting read.

Peter glances up, intending to wave Weasel over for some more information on the job, but stops when he notices the hulking red and black figure Weasel is talking to.

‘...Dopinder, am I tripping or is that Deadpool?’ Peter blinks slowly, not taking his eyes off the merc.

‘Yes! Mr Pool is a regular here. Well, he used to be. He’s been away quite a while now. It's nice to see him home again.’

‘... Deadpool is a regular here?’

‘You never noticed his name on the board?’ Dopinder asks, pointing to the sign over the bar.

‘That's a Dead Pool. Not…’ Peter gestures wildly in Deadpool's direction.

‘Ah, not that name. Mr Pool is the man Mr Weasel bet his money on.’

Peter slips off his stool and takes a step back to read the sign better. Sure enough, Weasel had placed a bet on a man named Wade W. Wilson. Next to his bet was a messily scribbled: ‘Unkillable. Trust me, we’ve tried.’

‘Worst bet I ever made!’ Weasel calls over when he notices where Peter is looking.

‘Wade…’ Peter mutters to himself, feeling strangely like he had stumbled onto some big secret.

‘Yes Sweetums?’ The merc himself responds sweetly. Peter watches the costumed man turn to him, then freeze up, looking Peter up and down. ‘Holy fuck Weas, where did you find this beauty? He’s way too hot to be hanging out at Sister Maggies.’

‘Oh my god. Please don’t hit on Pete. I’m begging you.’ Weasel gave a resigned sigh as the pair made their way towards Peter.

It was hard to tell with the mask, but it looks like Deadpools jaw is hanging open in shock.

‘Wade. Meet my newest hire; Bambi.’

‘Peter.’ He corrects with a pointed glare.

‘Bambi here is going to be helping me run the bar for a while.’

Deadpool hums. ‘Bambi and Dopinder? Look at you, expanding the empire. But is this guy even old enough to drink?’

‘I’m the same age as Jack. We went to school together.’

‘Who the fuck is Jack?’ Deadpool tilts his head.

Weasel pinches the bridge of his nose. ‘You think my momma called me Weasel?’

‘.....Yeah.’

‘My christian name is Jack, dumbass.’

‘Oh! Lame. But also, you two are the same age??’ Deadpool looks between Peter and Weasel in disbelief before patting Weasel's shoulder in commiseration. ‘I’m sorry that time has ravaged you while Bambi remains the pinnacle of perfection.’

‘Big words from someone who looks like a way past ripe avocado.’ Weasel hisses, hopping behind the bar as Wade flips him off. ‘Anyway, Petey, this is Deadpool. Currently Sister Margaret's worst merc.’

‘How….dare?!’ Wade gasps, slamming his hands on the bar.

‘You're a week past your deadline Champ.’ Weasel explains, slipping drinks to them both.

Deadpool snatches one of the drinks, turning away from Peter as he lifts his mask to down the drink. Only turning back once his mask is back in place. ‘You try dealing with supers and being on time. This aint exactly a simple hit. The buyer can just hold his damn horses and give me some more time.’

‘What's the job?’ Peter asks, curiosity getting the better of him at the mention of supers.

A confused look crosses Weasel's face. ‘I didn't tell you about this one? Oh boy Petey, you’ll love it. So your dear boss at the Bugle has offered a sweet mill to anyone who can unmask our friendly neighbourhood menace.’

Peter blinks in silence as his brain catches up with what Weasel just told him. It’s a well known fact that J. Jonah Jameson hates Spider-Man's guts. But offering a reward to unmask him? And a huge reward at that? This was going to be trouble. He could guarantee Deadpool wouldn’t be the only one to try to take Jameson up on the offer. Every villain in New York would be trying to yank his mask off now. Fantastic.

Deadpool stretches over the bar and helps himself to a bottle of vodka. ‘I’m beginning to think he aint much of a menace.’

Weasel barks out a laugh. ‘Yeah, no shit.’

In lieu of a reply, Deadpool just waves his free hand in a ‘go on’ motion.

‘I forgot, it has been a while since you've been back to the Big Apple, huh? Look, Triple J is the only douche who thinks Spidey is bad news. To the rest of us, he’s the only hero worth a damn.’

‘He is?’ Peter asks, the surprise in his tone obvious. He and Weasel had never talked superheroes before, but he figured given that he owned the hitman hot-spot of New York, he wouldn't exactly be a fan.

‘Fuck yeah! You think grand old Stark or the mighty gods of Asgard give two shits about us? Hell no. But Spidey, he can keep up with the big leagues but he's also the “help a cat out of a tree” type hero, you know? I’ve seen him help little old ladies across the street twice. Twice!”

Deadpool jumps into the stool next to Peters, legs swinging. ‘So why’s the Bugle all “Breaking news; Spider-man kicked a puppy!”?’

‘Who knows. Bambi? You work for the lunatic.’

Peter shrugs a shoulder noncommittally. ‘Jameson has always had it out for Spider-Man.’ Wow, it was still weird to talk about himself in third person. ‘Doesn't matter what happens, he finds a way to spin it so that Spider-Man looks like the bad guy.’

‘And you work for this prick?’

‘Bambi is the number one Spidey Paparazzi.’ Weas boasts. ‘A frank waste of his scientific prowess, but who am I to judge?’

Deadpool spins around in the stool to come face to face with Peter. ‘ So you're- … Holy shit I forgot how pretty you are. Christ. What was I saying….. Oh, you're my best bet at getting close to Spidey?’

‘I’m not helping you unmask him.’ Peter frowns at the thought, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

‘No, no! Consider the million forgotten. I would never-’

‘There goes my cut.’ Weasel mutters to himself.

‘I just want to talk to the guy. Get some hero tips from New York's finest, you know? I’ve been thinking about turning my rep around. Feel like with a bit of work I’d make a great anti-hero.’

Peter chews his lip anxiously. That absolutely sounds like a trap. ‘...I’ll ask him.’

‘Aw, thanks!’ Deadpool beams, wrapping his arms around Peter and hugging him tight.

‘Can't breathe.’ Peter squeaks, taking in a deep breath as Deadpool drops him. ‘I’d better get going anyway. It’s pretty late. If I hear anything from Spider-Man, I’ll leave a message with Weasel, okay?’

‘You're the best Bambi!’ Deadpool raises his pilfered Vodka bottle in salute.

Peter wrinkles his nose at the nickname. He needs to stop Weasel from calling him that. It was starting to spread.

‘See you tomorrow Weasel.’ Peter quickly downs the rest of his drink before slipping out of the bar. Expertly avoiding the drunken chaos as he went.

***

Wade waits until Peter is firmly out of earshot before clearing his throat. ‘So. You want to tell me why you're poisoning that kid?’

Weasel smirks, keeping his lips in a tight line. ‘No idea what you mean’.

‘I saw you pour him absinthe. What the fuck?’

Weasel starts to giggle, wiping a tear from his eye. ‘Okay, okay. So! Peter doesn't care what he drinks, just tells me to give him whatever. So one day I pour him the strongest shit I have because I wanted to see Perfect-Petey wasted. But he was totally fine. Barely even swayed when he walked. So, now I’m doing my due diligence as a scientist and experimenting. My hypothesis is he's some kind of mutant. But high tolerance for alcohol seems like a shitty power.’

‘And you're experimenting on your friend-slash-employee because?’ Wade frowns, he hates that word. Experiments. Flooded him with shitty memories.

‘Figured it would be good to have a list of potential recruits for X-force, in case you needed to start it up again.

Wade gasps dramatically, all thoughts of Weapon X dispelled as he whispers ‘X-Force’ and crosses his arms over his chest in an X. ‘Okay, keep me updated on the X-Force candidates, but I really should go. Spiders to catch and all that.’ Wade winks, fistbumping Dopinder as he heads to the exit.

The doors to the bar fly open, crashing into Wade as Hank (a regular at the bar) busts through. ‘Weas! They got your boy.’

‘Who is they and who is my boy?’ Weasel asks in a bored tone.

‘Yeah, no playing the pronoun game Hank. We’re better than that.’ Wade brushes some invisible dirt off his shoulder.

‘King Pins guys! They got that Bambi lad.’

‘Ah shit! Wade, I’ll give you free drinks for a month if you go get him back.’

‘Jokes on you, I would have done it for free.’ He smirks before turning back to Hank. ‘Okay, who are we dealing with here? Competent fucks or…?’

‘It was Kazi’s guys.’

‘Tracksuit mafia? This should be easy then. Back soon Weas, Don’t wait up.’

Chapter Text

It only takes Wade an hour to find the tracksuit's latest hideout.

‘Abandoned warehouse. How original.’ He mutters to himself as he hauls his way up into the rafters. Normally he'd just kick the door down, guns blazing. But he has the feeling Spidey wouldn’t appreciate that method. Besides, he wanted to know why the tracksuits picked up Weasel's high school bestie. So recon mission it is.

He doesn't have to wait long. These guys are both loud and simple.

‘Mayas on her way with Kazi.’

‘They get anything out of him yet?’

‘Nah, he wont talk.’

‘New tactic? We let him stew on his own until Maya gets here? She’ll spook him into talking.’

‘Sure thing. I’ll go tell Dimitri.’

Wade silently follows the guy up the stairs, where the walking tracksuit slips into a dusty office. Through the window Wade can see another two members of the mafia beating the absolute shit out of Peter, who has been tied to a desk chair. He winces in sympathy as a blow connects to Peter's ribs.

While the three men have a chat, Wade's eyes remain on Peter. The man was doubled over and breathing heavily. Wade can just see Peter's eyes darting across the room in what he assumes is an attempt to find a way to escape.

A smile crosses his face as Wade watches the group leave the room, leaving Peter completely unguarded. Amatures.

‘Okay. Big hero moment. Swoop in. Rescue the princess. Profit? Let's go.’ He claps his hands together, ready for his big entrance, but by the time he finishes his pep talk, Peter has already pulled his arms back to snap the zip ties around his wrists.

‘Holy fuck that was hot.’ Wade whispers to himself, the boxes buzzing with agreement.

Back in the office, Peter glances at the doorway to make sure he’s alone before sneaking over to the window. He taps on the glass with his knuckles before taking a step back and kicking the window. The glass shatters and Peter doesn't hesitate to jump through it.

‘Shiiiiiiiiit. Weas was right. This guy is prime X-Force material. Oh!’ Wade grabs his phone, calling Weasel as he pushes his way through the door to the office. ‘Hey Weasel baby. I need you to call Peter for me.’

‘You haven't found him yet?’

‘What? Oh! You mean Bambi. No, no, I have eyes on him. Don't you worry about that.’ Wade jumps through the broken window, landing on the fire escape with a thump. ‘I’m talking X-Force Peter. Heart of gold and a moustache that wont quit. Remember? Actually… Having two Peters on the team might be confusing. And calling them Peter One and Peter Two would just be demeaning. You're right, you've talked me out of it. Don't call Peter. I’m going to grab Bambi before he dies in an alleyway.’ He hangs up before Weasel can get a word in and ducks into the alley he watched Peter disappear into.

Wade frowns as he finds himself in a completely abandoned alley-way. ‘.... Hey Bambino? Rescue squad is here. Well, “squad” may be over selling it. Your rescue Deadpool is here.’

Wade could just barely hear a small groan from a fire escape two stories up.

‘Petey?’

The groan intensifies in answer.

‘Gotcha.’ Wade jumps up, grabbing the ladder and climbing up to where Peter is sitting, leaning against the brick wall and holding his ribs. Half of his face is covered in blood from a gash on his forehead. ‘You good?’

‘Best I’ve ever been.’ Peter deadpans, giving Wade a shaky thumbs up.

‘Alright, up and at em.’ Wade bends down, scooping the man up into a princess carry. ‘I’ve got a safehouse close by. We can get you all cleaned up.’

‘I can handle it myself.’ Peter protested weakly.

‘Mmhmm. But Weas is paying for me to look after you. So I’m going to give you the five star treatment.’

Peter hisses in pain, resting his head on Wade's shoulder. ‘Jack’s paying you?’

‘Eh. He told me I could have free drinks if I rescued you. And I couldn't even do that because you saved yourself, like a badass.’

Peter bites his lip, not responding.

‘Unless you want me to drop you off at a hospital?’

Peter's nose wrinkles and he shakes his head. ‘No, no hospitals. Please.’

‘I got you Baby Boy. But no falling asleep on me until we make sure you don't have a concussion, okay?’

‘No promises.’

Wade laughs under his breath, doing his best not to jostle Peter as he walks through the neighbourhood and down to the house. With his hands full, Wade figures his best option was to kick the door in. ‘Two dangerous robbers incoming.’

‘Is this your weird way of telling me you have a friend over?’ Blind Al calls from the kitchen, unfazed.

‘Yup.’ Wade grins, gently setting Peter down on the couch. ‘Ooo, is that coffee I smell.’

‘This is my coffee you smell. You want some, you get your own.’ Al snarks, walking into the living room with her coffee. Wade smiles to himself as he spots her wearing the “I’m Not Daredevil” sweatshirt he got her for Christmas last year.

‘No time to make coffee. More important things to do.’

‘Like patching up the scrawny kid bleeding out on my couch?’

Peter blinks in confusion. ‘...Is she actually Daredevil? How does she know I’m scrawny and bleeding? Or are the glasses just an aesthetic choice?’

‘Baby boy, this is Blind Al. Al, this is Peter. Works for Weas.’

Peter raises a hand weakly. ‘Hello ma’am, sorry about all the blood. I’ll clean it off.’

‘Why can't you be that polite?’ Al chastises Wade, hitting him on the shoulder as she walks to her armchair.

‘I can’t offer to clean every bloodstain I leave Al. I’d never get anything done.’ Wade rolls his eyes and grabs the first aid kit. ‘‘So, what's up with the Fisk shake-down?’ He asks casually as he starts digging through the medical supplies.

Peter coughs, wincing as the action rattles his ribs. ‘Those were Fisk's men? Normally they're more…’

‘The tracksuit mafia is an offshoot. Not quite as well organised, but you do not want to fuck with Maya. She’ll kick your ass.’ Wade starts to clean the cut on Peter's forehead. Luckily it was a lot smaller than it looked back in the alley way. Seemed like an excessive amount of blood considering. ‘Sorry, I know that stings like a bitch. Anyhoo, what did they want?’ He asks, very gently placing an oversized Hello Kitty bandage over the cut.

‘Same thing you do I guess.’ Peter shrugs.

‘Your number and a date?’

‘...Spider-man?

‘Ah! That little plot-thread. Why’d they grab you though?’

‘My name is on all the photos the Bugle uses. They wanted to use me as Spider-bait I guess.’

Wade hums. ‘Makes sense. Alright, shirt off. Let me see those ribs.’

Peter grimaces as he unbuttons his shirt, exposing the depressing rainbow of bruises that had blossomed on his chest.

Wades eyes flick up and down, cataloguing injuries before setting to work. ‘So… Super strength huh?’

Peter flinches, pulling back with wide eyes. After a brief internal conflict, he settles on a vaguely neutral expression. ‘I don't know what you're talking about.’

‘You're full of shit Baby Boy. I saw you kick in that window.’

‘You know, when people are in emergency situations the body releases more adrenaline which helps them do things they wouldn't normally be able to do.’ Peter starts to ramble. ‘ Like when a baby is in danger so the mom can lift a car off them, right?’

‘Cut the shit, Weas has been spiking your alcohol to test your tolerance. You should be dead with the crap he's been putting into your drinks.’

‘...That dick!’ Peter scowls.

‘Language.’ Blind Al chastises from her armchair.

Wade giggles. ‘Yeah Petey. Watch your fucking mouth.’

Peter huffs out a laugh, wincing as Wade's fingers traced an old scar across his collar bone.

‘You get beat up a lot Bambi?’

Peter shrugs with one shoulder. ‘Nothing I can't handle.’

‘Mmhmm. You know if you need back up with the super strong mutant thing, Prof X probably has a spot for you in his super secret mutant school.’

‘What? Oh, not a mutant.’ Peter leans against the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

‘I thought we were cutting the shit?’

‘I am.’ Peter assures him, closing his eyes as Wade starts to bandage his ribs up. ‘Not a mutant. Wasn't born with the gene or however that works.’

‘So what are you then?’

‘I don't know if there's a term for it? I think I’d be classified as enhanced or something?’

‘You're enhanced alright, these abs are a testament to that.’

‘Shut up.’ Peter laughs, pushing Wade's hands away.

Wade pulls back, all done with his patch up job. ‘Anyone else know about your… enhancements?’

‘Just you. …and Al I guess.’

Blind Al raises her cup of coffee in acknowledgment.

‘Weas too now. I basically told him everything.’ Wade admits ‘Hey, is he like your only friend?’

Peter groans. ‘Well, when you put it like that it sounds real sad.’

‘So you’ve never told anyone?’ Wade tosses Peter his shirt before falling down to sit next to him. ‘I know the anti-mutant shit sucks, but there's got to be someone you trust?’

‘There used to be. But now it's just me…’ Peter goes quiet and as much as Wade wants to push, he gives the man a chance to breathe and gather himself.

‘Don’t worry Bambi. You got me and Al now.’

‘I feel better already.’ Peter nods, sounding half asleep.

‘Come on. You can sleep on the good bed tonight.

‘I should go home…’

‘Nope. No way I’m letting you go home alone all beat up like that. Just trust me and get some rest okay?’

‘....Okay, yeah. I can do that.’ Peter smiles, letting Wade lead him to a bedroom. Passing out the instant his head hits a pillow.

Chapter Text

Peter wakes slowly, overly conscious of the pain wracking his body. His senses are in total overdrive. The sunlight streaming through the curtains is too bright, the smell of bacon from the kitchen makes him want to puke and the clattering of pots and pans rattles his skull. With his eyes screwed tightly shut, Peter focuses on narrowing down his senses the way Daredevil taught him years ago. He picks one sound to focus on and breathes in time to the heartbeat he finds. Once his senses start to calm down, Peter frowns. A heart beat? Two actually. One slow and one more erratic. They sound close. Was someone in his apartment?

Slowly pulling himself up to a seated position, Peter lazily takes in his surroundings. The Captain America poster and oversized stuffed unicorn clues him into the fact that this is absolutely not his room.

A soft (but pretty off-key) singing comes from the kitchen, accompanying the clatter of plates. Peter recognises the voice instantly. Deadpool.

Peter rubs his head as he remembers exactly how he ended up here. He falls back into the My Little Pony bedspread, exhausted despite having just woken up. There was so much to do. He needed to stop Jamesons hit on his identity. Especially now that Fisks goons had it out for Peter Parker. He also needed to slip out before Deadpool realised he healed faster than the average human. Plus there was the fact that both Deadpool and Weasel know he has powers. Thankfully they hadn't figured out anything Spider related, but its a slippery slope.

Sighing, he pulls himself out of the bed. There's a note on the bedside table telling Peter to help himself to the clothes in the dresser. And as much as Peter doesn't want to dress up in the mercs clothes, his are a little too blood stained for comfort. He pulls out a pair of soft tracksuit bottoms and finds a plain shirt that's too big on him, but it's better than nothing.

Running his hands through his bed hair, he slips out of the room to head towards the source of all the noise.

He leans against the door frame of the kitchen, taking in the sight of Deadpool, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie (but still wearing his mask), dancing to the radio as he cooks. Peter's eyes fall on the scarred skin on his hands, a small frown on his face. Peter wonders if that's why Deadpool always wears his mask. It can't be a secret identity thing. Peter knows his name after all.

‘Good morning sunshine.’ Deadpool spins around excitedly. ‘How do you feel?’

‘Like I got beat up yesterday?’ Peter admits, his head is still pounding, making it hard to think straight.

‘Well that's appropriate at least.’ Deadpool chuckles. ‘They certainly did a number on you. Here.’ Wade passes him a glass of water and some pain killers. Peter's body would metabolise the pain killers too quickly for them to be of use, but he doesn't want to tell Wade that, so he pops them in his mouth and swallows them down.

‘Made you some breakfast.’ Deadpool drops a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of him.

‘Thanks.’ Peter smiles, he doesn't exactly feel like eating right now. But it’ll help him heal if he has a full stomach. ‘What time is it?’ He asks through a mouth full of bacon.

‘Almost ten.’

‘Crap. I’m going to be late.’ Peter gulps.

‘For what? Bars don't open this early and I’m pretty sure Weas will give you the day off given the beating, you know?’

‘No. Not for that. I’m supposed to be at the shelter by 11 to help set up for lunch.’

‘Shelter?’

‘F.E.A.S.T’

‘Oh, I’ve heard of that place. Downtown right?’

‘Yeah, my Aunt founded it.’ He explains with a fond tone of voice. ‘I’ve been volunteering there for years now.’

‘You want to call your Aunt and let her know you're too black and blue to help out.’

Peter feels his throat constrict. ‘Um, she’s not… I can't…’

Deadpool tilts his head, confused.

‘She’s… gone.’ God that was still hard to say. ‘Just me now. But I can't shirk off my responsibilities like that anyway. People are counting on me.’

‘Hmmm. How about I tag along and help out then?’

‘...You'd do that?’

‘Course. You're not exactly in any condition to be working. So how about I go and you supervise. Tell me what you need done and I’ll do all the heavy lifting for you.’

‘Sure.’ Peter smiles. ‘But we should leave soon. And no weapons.’

‘Boooo.’ Deadpool pouts, but pulls three guns and two knives out from his outfit and leaves them on the counter.

‘Are you always this armed for breakfast?’

‘You can never be too careful Bambi.’

***

F.E.A.S.T was a much bigger operation than Wade was expecting. The building is bustling with activity, people eagerly lining up for a warm meal. Wade takes a moment to admire the photos of Spider-Man hanging in the hallway before Peter tugs his arm to lead him to the kitchens.

‘Spidey spend a lot of time here?’

‘He swings by now and then for a bit of support.’ Peter shrugs, tossing an apron over to Wade.

‘So, you work for Weasel. Then you moonlight as a Spidey paparazzi. As well as volunteering here? Jeez, when do you find time to sleep.’

Peter laughs under his breath. ‘When I pass out from exhaustion I guess? Or when I get beaten up by Russians in tracksuits.’

‘Sounds healthy.’ Wade snickers as he follows instructions, piling up trays of food and serving them to the seemingly never ending queue. ‘Oh hey. I know you.’ He gasps as he takes a proper look at the guy in front of him.

The bedraggled looking mugger wannabe gives him an awkward smile. ‘Um, hi? Spidey sent me?’

Peter perks up from his seat behind the counter. ‘Oh, hey!’ He gives the guy a bright smile, and grabs a pack of paperwork. ‘It's nice to meet you. I’m Peter, Spider-Man gave me the heads up that you'd be dropping by. Let's chat.’ He pats Wade on the shoulder as he rises. ‘Keep doing what you're doing okay. You’re doing a great job.’

Wade watches as Peter grabs a cookie from under the desk. ‘Oh my god. The Spidey cookies are real. I thought he was kidding.’

Peter chuckles, tossing Wade one of the Spider mask shaped cookies. ‘The manager Izzy makes them for the people Spider-Man sends over for rehab.’ He explains under his breath. ‘Its cheesy, but they taste fantastic.’ He slips around the counter, sitting down with Mr Mugger to talk over some options to save him from homelessness.

Wade watches Peter with a soft smile, not used to people being so openly good and pure. It makes him want to go back to the tracksuits and rip their heads off for hurting his sweet little Petey. Maybe he’ll drop them another visit later.

***

After the lunch rush is over, Peter slips back behind the counter, hovering over Wade's shoulder. ‘Want to see something cool?’

‘Always.’

Peter jerks his head towards the stairs, leading the way.

‘You do that kind of thing a lot?’ Wade asks now they have time to talk. ‘The rehab gig?’

‘Sometimes. It's a big part of the mission statement. The criminal justice system isn't great about rehabilitation for petty crimes. People get stuck in the system, get in worse positions once they get to jail. So we develop programmes to help them get out of shitty situations before it all escalates.’

‘That's a lot of responsibility for a gig you don't even get paid for.’

‘I’m lucky to be in a position where I can give back and help people. And when you help one person, you help everyone. That's what my Aunt used to say anyway…I like to think it's true.’

Peter leads Wade up to the roof of the building. Wade is pretty used to New York rooftops at this point after trailing Spider-Man. But this was totally new. A greenhouse stands in the centre, glittering as it reflects the sun. Planters cover the rest of the space, growing a variety of vegetables and fruit. The lush green of the garden is a stark but welcome contrast to the grey urban skyline.

‘This is…’ Wade can’t put it into words.

Peter grabs a watering can cheerfully. ‘Welcome to Mays garden.’ He winces as his injuries throb and Wade holds out his hand for the can.

‘Here, let me. That's what I’m here for after all. Deadpool; Merc with the mouth and gardener extraordinaire.’

‘Thanks.’ Peter gives him an honest smile and Wade's heart flutters a bit. ‘This is my favourite spot in New York.’ He explains, sitting on a rusted deck chair. ‘Aunt May set it up back when I was in High School. People donate a lot of canned goods to the shelter but fresh fruit and veg is way better for people. So we started to grow our own.’

‘So you come from a family of angels, huh?’

Peter looks away and Wade internally curses. What a shit choice of words.

‘I meant… like charitable, philanthropist types. Not…you know….dead.’ Yup, that was worse. ‘I’ll shut up now.’

‘You're good.’ Peter assures him. ‘I ah, I was raised by my Aunt and Uncle. They were the best people I’ve ever known. They were always ready to help people. No matter what it took.’

‘I bet they'd be proud of you.’

‘I bet they would have a lot to say about me working at Sister Margarets.’

‘Yeah, why are you slumming it with us merc types?’ Wade teases.

Peter shrugs. ‘Not a whole lot of other options with the way I like to operate. It’s fine though.’

‘You know how many people die in that bar?’

‘Not something I’m worried about.’

‘Because of the enhancements?’

‘Yup.’

‘You live a weird life Petey.’

‘You don't know the half of it.’ Peter yawns. ‘I should head home for a power nap before I head over to Sister Margarets. Will you be there tonight?’

‘Wouldn't miss it for the world Bambi. And hey, thanks for showing me the garden. It's nice here, serene.’

‘Stop by any time you want some calm.’

Wade looks around the garden, seeing the lush green plants he had a small part in helping grow. ‘Yeah. I’ll probably take you up on that offer.’

Chapter Text

Wade finally gets his weird and wonderful superhero battle when Doc Oc decides to crash the Oscorp fundraising gala. He only catches the tail end of the fight, just in time to see Spidey hack into the Doctor's mechanical arms, tying him up with his own limbs. Spidey grins when he spots Wade. His suit has been torn open at the chest and Wade can just see the badly bruised flesh beneath it. Ouch.

‘Busy night?’ Wade asks, prodding the mechanical arms.

‘Eh.’ Spider-Man shrugs. ‘The usual.’ Wade swears he can see Spideys nose wrinkle under the mask as his stomach grumbles.

‘You wanna take a hot dog break? My treat.’

Spidey looks up and Wade can only assume he's smiling. ‘That would be great. I’m starving.’

Wade buys out a hotdog cart and the pair climb up to a nearby rooftop so that they can eat in peace.

‘So, I have some questions.’ Wade starts, passing Spidey the bag of treats,

‘Go for it.’

Wade hums, wondering where to start. ‘Alright, what was up with the black goo guy?’

Spidey lifts his mask up to his nose to dig into his hotdogs. ‘Oh Venom? Alien symbiote.’

‘For real?’

‘Yup. They need a host body to survive, Eddies the only one who seems to have worked out long term. They work pretty well together, but sometimes they get into fights. Venom doesn't mean to cause all that damage he does. It's just hard for him to be alone.’

‘And the eating people thing?’

‘Eddie has a pretty good handle on it. He can normally placate Venom with chocolate. The only times Venom has actually eaten someone, Eddie has made sure it's the worst of the worst. You know? I mean, I’m still not comfortable with the idea of them being judge, jury and executioner. But…’

‘Allowances can be made when you have a hungry alien to feed.’ Wade finishes, not liking the worried tone in Spideys voice. ‘Okay, what about Green Goblin. I thought that was gonna be a cool fight with explosions and hoverboards.’

‘Thats, er… So when the original Green Goblin died, his son had a … bit of a breakdown I guess. Took up the mantle. But he doesn't want to cause chaos. He just needs help.’

‘Hmm, where did you stash the Green Goblin stuff?’

‘Nun ya business.’ Spidey smirks.

‘Worth a shot.’

‘You just want to fly the hoverboard.’

‘Of course I do! It's a hoverboard!’

Spidey laughs. ‘It is pretty fun to ride. I considered making myself one but the components are pretty costly.’

‘I’ll give you all the money to my name if you make me a hoverboard. Please Spidey.’

‘Absolutely not.’ He laughs.

‘Fine. I’ll find another mad scientist to do my bidding. I wonder if I can get Doc Oc to hook me up.’

‘The way his experiments work out, you'd probably end up with the board fuzed to your feet.’

‘I could live with that.’

‘You wouldn't be able to walk anywhere.’ Spidey argues, licking mustard from his gloved fingers.

‘Who needs to walk when you can hover?!’

‘How’d you move around indoors?’

‘Worst comes to worst, I can chop my feet off and regrow them.’

‘You can do what?!’

‘Oh, yeah. I got a killer healing factor. I can regrow limbs in like a day.’

‘Wow, and here I thought I healed fast.’

‘My healing factor can't be beat. I’m totally unkillable Spider-babe.’

‘That's good to know.’ Spider-Man gives him a soft smile before pulling his mask back down. ‘I have a question for you.’

‘Shoot.’

‘You still trying to get Jamesons reward?’

‘You heard about that huh?’

‘I have my sources.’

‘I’m not interested in the money. Your identity is safe.’

‘Good. You know, it's always “Who is Spider-Man?” and never “How is Spider-Man?”’ Spider jokes, leaning back on his hands to admire the skyline.

‘And how is Spider-Man?’ Wade asks without thinking.

Spidey pauses, as if weighing up how he should answer. ‘Honestly, really tired.’ He laughs weakly, shaking his head before jumping to his feet. ‘Sorry to dine and dash but I’ve gotta go. It's been nice though. I’ll see you around?’

‘Next time a lunatic with metallic tentacles causes havoc, I’ll be there.’ Wade promises with a wink.

Chapter Text

Wade gets to Sister Margarets close to closing time, his eyes instantly falling on Peter sitting behind the bar, tapping away at Weas’ ancient laptop. ‘Hey Petey-Pie. How’s your shift?’

‘Stopped three bar fights and I’m halfway into Oscorps servers. So pretty good.’ His eyes flick up to meet Wades with a smile. Poor guy looks exhausted, dark circles forming under his eyes.

Weasel waves Wade over to where he’s playing darts with Dopinder. ‘Hey.’ He whispers in a hushed tone. ‘New update on X-Force recruitment.’ Without explaining, he tosses a dart directly at Peter, whose eyes are back on the laptop. Before Wade can react, Peter's hand shoots up and he grabs the dart inches from his face. Hissing as the action pulls at his abused ribs. 

‘Do that again and I’ll start throwing them at you back.’ Peter warns, tossing the dart into the bullseye of the target from across the room before returning his attention to his work. 

Wade wolf-whistles, dropping into a seat as Dopinder goes to grab them some drinks.

‘You get anything from Fisks guys?’

‘Nope. Just that they think Peter is their ticket to Spidey.’

‘Makes sense, Peters been the only one able to take an unblurry pic of Spidey since like High School. They must talk to each other.’ 

‘Speaking of, I need you to tell me everything about High School Petey.’ Wade grins, instantly distracted from the task at hand.

Wease hums. ‘We weren’t super close back then. More rivals I guess. Him, me and his girl Gwen were always competing for the top grades.’

‘Ooo, his girl?’

‘Yeah, super smart, worked as an intern for Oscorp. She died before we graduated, practically snapped in half in a tussle between Spidey and Green Goblin.’

Over Weas’ shoulder, Wade notices Peter wince. Wade mentally adds superhearing to Peter's enhancement list. Interesting. 

Peter closes the laptop, slipping through the door to Weasel's office/supply closet. 

‘And that drove Peter's bestie crazy.’ Weasel continues, not noticing Peter's exit. ‘Turns out Harry's dad was the Goblin. So that was a real mind fuck. Last I heard he was at some institute upstate.’ 

Wade thought back to Spidey yelling at the Goblin and taking him back to the hospital. Huh. Spidey was more intertwined in Peter's life than he thought. 

‘He still has MJ I think. Hell of a fiery redhead. She’s over in LA being a movie star or some shit. Which I guess is why Petey is here hanging out with me. Plus we share weird tech we find. So that’s sometimes fun. You should have seen him fiddling with the chitauri lazer I found a few months back. Almost blew my apartment up.’ 

‘Huh. And I’m guessing he wasn't all… jacked up back in school.’

‘Absolutely not. That boy was like, stereotypical nerd. Glasses and everything.’

‘Cute. You got pictures?’

***

The closed door doesn't do much to muffle Weasel talking about one of the worst experiences of Peter's life. But at least he doesn't feel Deadpool's eyes on him while it happens anymore.
  
Peter works on tuning them out, only listening to the whirring of the fans of the struggling laptop. He’s already gotten the files the buyer wanted from Oscorp but Peter is deep into the more heavily encrypted files, finally finding the spider experiments from around the time he was bitten. 

Peter finds a report on the chemical makeup of what they had filled the spiders with. At a glance, Peter's best guess was that they were trying to recreate the super soldier serum. After years of various animal trials it looked like they had upgraded to human trials. Shit. He’ll have to put a stop to that as soon as possible. It looks like they've had no successes so far, which probably means a trail of dead bodies to cover their tracks. 

He sends himself copies of the files, his eyes catching on the name of the scientists in charge of the original experiment. 

Richard and Mary Parker. 

Peter's blood goes cold. The second the upload is complete he wipes the information from Weasel's laptop and slams it shut with a bit too much force. He takes a slow shuddering breath, the chair clattering to the floor as he jumps to his feet. 

Deadpool's head snaps up to look at him as Peter pushes him way through the door. 

‘Hey Jack, I gotta go. I’ll um… yeah.’ Peter stumbles out, not waiting to hear his boss's response. His head was too busy reeling for coherent thought. He needed to get home and do some more digging in privacy. It was too late to sneak into Oscorp to get any information directly, it was getting close to 6am. He’ll need to wait for the next evening to sneak in. Dammit. 

He crosses the street and his Spidey-sense goes haywire. His head snaps up, spotting the van screeching towards him. The doors open and men dressed in black tactical gear jump out. Peter looks around for exit strategies, but before he can move Deadpool appears in front of him, shooting the men before they can get close.

‘Deadpool? What are you doing here?’

‘I followed you out of the bar Baby Boy. Been talking to you for like three blocks now but you were pretty zoned out.’ 

‘Huh…’ Peter wants to comment but he’s too exhausted to be witty right now.

‘Come on. I can deal with these guys but we need to get you somewhere safe for the night. Chances are there's a group stationed at your apartment ready to jump you.’ 

‘Ugh. You’re probably right.’

‘I’m always right, let's get going.’ 

Deadpool keeps up a steady stream of chatter as they walk through Hell's Kitchen. Peter keeps his eyes on the rooftops, wondering if he'll spot a glimpse of Daredevil while they're here.

Before he knows it, Deadpool has pulled him into an old apartment building and up to one of the doors. Despite the early hour, Deadpool bangs on the door, rattling the frame.

The door opens and the man on the other side doesn't seem at all fazed by the appearance of the merc. Peter takes in the mans’ dishevelled hair, the freshly bandaged wounds on his face and arms, and the red glasses that cover his eyes. 

Oh fuck.

That’s Matt. 

Aka Daredevil.

Who only knows Peter as Spider-Man, and probably can't tell that he's not wearing his suit right now.

‘Deadpool.’ Matt nods in greeting, formal as ever despite the fact that it's 7 in the morning and he's wearing pyjamas. ‘Weird to see you teaming up with-’

‘Peter Parker, Sir!’ Peter jumps in, hoping Deadpool will misinterpret his panic for nervousness. ‘Nice to meet you.’ 

Matt pauses before offering his hand for Peter to shake. ‘A pleasure Mr Parker, I’m Matt Murdock. What brings you to Hell's Kitchen.’

‘I need someone to keep an eye on Petey here while I shake down King Pins guys. They've got a hit out on him because he knows Spidey.’

Matt arches an eyebrow but takes a step back to usher them in. ‘You know Spiderman?’

Peter has to shake himself before responding. The whole situation was more ridiculous by the minute. ‘Yes, I take photos of him for the Bugle. My boss has offered a big reward to whoever can unmask him.’

‘Ah, I see.’ 

‘I thought the whole point was that you don't.’ Deadpool chuckled. ‘Anyhoo, now the formalities are out of the way, can you please keep an eye on Petey for me.’ 

‘Sure thing Wade.’ Matt nodded, heading over to the kitchen to make coffee. 

‘I owe you one Matty.’ Deadpool turns to face Peter. ‘Matt’s good people okay? And a hell of a lawyer if you ever need one. You’ll be safe here.’ 

‘Thanks Deadpool.’ 

‘Call me Wade Baby Boy.’ Deadpool chuckles. ‘Stay safe.’ He heads to the window, and jumps out onto the fire escape.

There’s a few minutes of silence as they both listen to Wade disappear through Hell's Kitchen.

‘....So.’ Matt started, obviously holding in his laughter. 

Peter collapsed on the couch. ‘It’s been a weird night Matt.’ 

‘Sounds it.’ Matt joins Peter on the couch, passing him a cup of coffee. ‘Want to tell me why you’re hanging out with Deadpool. As Peter Parker. Sorry about the secret identity reveal by the way. Nice save though, I was positive Deadpool had shown up at my door with Spider-Man.’

‘Its fine. I don't think Wade noticed.’ 

‘I think you’re right. So, what happened?’

‘Is that your lawyer voice?’

‘Yes, consider this an interrogation.’ 

Peter's lips twitch into a smile. ‘Where to begin… So on top of what Wade told you about the whole…. Spider-Man situation. I lost my job so I work at Sister Margaret's now. Which is why I’m hanging out with Deadpool as Peter. Tonight was my first shift and I was doing some digging on Oscorp for this little hacking gig. And I found something I could kind of use your help with actually…’ Peter sighs. He's never been good at asking for help, but right now he feels stretched too thin. ‘Oscorp has started human trials on the experiments that gave me my powers.’

‘That so? What do you need from me?’ 

‘These experiments are super underground. Hidden from most of their records. There's no way they’re getting willing volunteers for this. They must be getting the people from somewhere…’ 

‘Ah. I’ll do some digging, see what I can find.’

‘Thanks Matt. You're the best.’ 

‘Happy to help, but I have to get going soon. Day job and all that. You're welcome to come to the office if you want the company.’

‘Honestly with the night I’ve had I kind of want to sleep until midnight.’ 

‘That works too. Nap away.’ Matt gets up, tossing Peter a blanket before heading back to his room to get ready for work. 

***

Peter reluctantly wakes almost eight hours later. He’d happily sleep longer but his stomach wont let him. He figures that Matt wouldn't mind him helping himself to the kitchen so Peter sets to work finding himself something to eat.

He’s halfway through cooking up some eggs when his phone beeps. A rare occurrence these days. He grabs his phone to find a long chain of texts. 

Hey bb boi, got your number from Weas. 
Fisk all dealt with :) His boys wont be bothering u again
U want me to go spook JJJ? Get him to stop the hit on Spidey?
U up? 
Fk it I’m doing it
JJJ is putting out the word that the $$$ is off the table
No more kidnappings !!! 
Weas is making sure everyone knows that Spidey is off limits
Matty taking good care of u? 

Peter smiles to himself texting back.

I’m alright, safe and sound. Thank you, thats amazing! 

Peter pauses. As much as he likes to work alone, he has to admit that it is nice to have Deadpool watch his back. Maybe it's time he got better at team ups. 

Spider-Man is staking out Oscorp tonight. If you want to go? Says he’d like backup

!!!!!!!!!
Holy fuck
U srs? 
Fk. YEah. 
Okay okay okay, you stay safe with DD. I’ll go kick some ass with Spidey

Peter laughs, digging into his eggs as he texts back. 

Stay safe :) 

After washing his dishes and putting everything back where he found it (Matt may have enhanced senses but Peter wasn't the kind of dick who would move things about in a blind man's home), Peter gets ready to leave. He almost leaves Matt a note explaining where he’s gone before he realises just how dumb of an idea that is. 

Chapter Text

Wade is bursting with excitement when he goes to meet up with Spider-Man for his first superhero approved mission. ‘What do you need me to do Spider-Babe? Explosions? Distractions?’

‘Definitely no explosions! And while we’re going over ground rules, no murders either!’

‘Booooo.’ Wade pouts.

‘Promise me.’

‘Fiiiine. I promise.’

Spider-Man visibly relaxes. ‘Thanks. Okay, so we’re going to sneak in and try to find some information about an experiment they're doing. I figured we could land on the roof, and travel through the vents and- Wait, will you fit in the vents?’

Wade gasps in fake offence. ‘I’ll be just fine, baby boy. Let’s go!’

***

The vents are admittedly a bit of a tight squeeze for Deadpool, but it's absolutely worth it when he gets to crawl behind Spider-Man.

He’s just about to comment on the view when Spidey stops still, eavesdropping on some scientists in the room underneath them.

‘The serum still won't bond to any of the subjects. The closest we’ve had to a success is the Spider trials.’

‘We’ve exhausted all possibilities. The only explanation is that Richard locked the sequence to his own genetic code’

‘Too bad he went down in that plane crash. Couldn't even dig up the body for trials’

‘He had a kid right? Maybe that's our next option? Find the kid, bring him in for the next round of testing.’ The scientists all mumble amongst themselves as they exit the room, leaving it empty.

‘Parker luck strikes again.’ Spidey whispers under his breath as he pulls the vent open and drops into the room.

‘What's that?’

Spidey spins around, as if he’d forgotten Wade was even there. ‘Um, that scientist they're talking about. Richard. That’s Richard Parker. Which means the kid that they’re after is his son.’

‘....You mean Peter?’

‘Yeah.’ Spider-Man nods, exhaustion clear in his voice. ‘We should get the information and get out of here before anyone spots us.’

Spider-Man whips out a memory stick and sets to work downloading the research he needs. The second he pulls it out of the computer, alarms start to ring. The pair share a look of surprise, Wade just has time to grab his guns before the door is kicked open by overly armed security guards.

‘Don't kill anyone.’ Spidey reminds Wade as he webs the first of the guards to a wall.

‘Wouldn't dream of it.’ Wade grins, running forwards to knock the nearest guard out with an elbow to the face.

Spidey ducks as the guards start to shoot, webbing the weapons out of the guards hands as quickly as he can. Wade uses the confusion to knock them out one at a time.

Another guard rounds the door and the world starts to move in slow motion as Wade watches Spidey spin around just as the bullet pierces his abdomen.

The world speeds back up again and Wade lunges forward to catch Spider before he hits the floor. He catches the man with one hand and puts a bullet through the head of the guard with the other.

There goes Spideys no kill rule, but he figures desperate times and all that. ‘Alright, we gotta get out of here.’

Spidey hisses, tapping his web shooters and covering the wound in webs to stop the blood loss.

‘Nice trick. Hop on, I’ll need my hands free.’ Wade gets up and turns, gesturing for Spider-Man to climb on his back.

Spider-Man does as he’s told, grumbling as he puts pressure on the wound.

‘Hold on tight okay?’

‘M’sticky. I won't fall.’

‘Alright Bug-boy. You stick. I shoot.’ Wade starts sprinting out of the room, tearing his way through the office building and out into the streets.

‘Do you have a safe place to stay?’

‘My place has no heat or food. I won't heal there. I guess… take me to Daredevil?’

Chapter Text

‘And who've you brought me this time?’ Matt asks, obviously expecting them.

‘You're friends with Spider-Man, yeah?’

‘I am.’

‘Cool, so you won't mind when he bleeds out on your couch then.’

‘Hiiii Matt.’ Spidey mumbles weakly as Wade lies him down on the couch.

‘Did you get shot?’ Matt asks, reaching for his phone.

‘Mmmhmmm.’

Wade carefully cuts the webbing away to inspect the wound. ‘Shit the bullet didn't go through. It's still in there.’

‘We have to act fast. With his healing abilities he’ll start healing over the bullet leaving it stuck in there. I know someone who can help.’ Matt turns away as the call on his phone is answered, muttering hushed instructions to whoever was on the other end.

Slumped on the couch, Spidey’s breathing starts to get more erratic. His body shakes as he struggles to catch his breath.

Before Wade has a chance to ask what's wrong, Spidey reaches up and yanks his mask off, taking heavy gulps of air as he tosses it to the side.

‘...Peter?’

Across the room, Matt rushes his call. ‘Gotta go Claire, see you soon.’

Peter's eyes slip closed as he starts to slip from consciousness.

‘...Hey Matty. Am I losing what I have left of my marbles or is Peter Spiderman?’

‘It certainly sounds like it looks that way.’ Matt answers vaguely.

‘How long have you known?’

‘Only a day longer than you.’ Matt admits. ‘I’ve known Spider-Man for years. But the last time you brought him here was my first time meeting him as Peter. He’s always been protective about his identity.’ Matt's knuckles crack. ‘This goes without saying. But if anyone outside of this room hears about his identity, I’ll make you pay.’

‘Cross my heart DD. This stays between us. I just want to help him.’

‘Alright. Claire is going to be here soon, we should put his mask back on, at least to cover his eyes. He may have felt safe taking it off with the two of us, but that doesn't mean he’ll be happy with her seeing.’

‘I got it.’ Wade picks the mask up from where Peter had tossed it to the floor. Carefully pulling it over his tousled hair and covering his eyes. Once he’s happy that Peter can still breathe alright, he takes a step back.

A woman bursts through the door in a flurry of movement, carrying the biggest first aid bag Wades ever seen. ‘What are we dealing with?’

‘Gunshot wound.’ Matt replies as she pushes Wade out of the way to get a better look at their patient.

‘Is that…. Spider-Man?’

‘It is. He’s a mutate.’ Matt explains, his voice calm despite the chaos of the situation. ‘Anaesthesia and painkillers don't work because his metabolism is so quick. He heals quickly which would be good news if the bullet wasn’t still in there.’

‘Jesus. Okay, let's see what we're working with.’

Wade watches Claire work closely. He doesn't trust the woman but if she has Daredevil's seal of approval he’s happy to let her work.

‘He’s already started to heal over. That's… okay. Wow. I’m going to have to cut it deeper to get the bullet out.’ She explains, grabbing a scalpel from her bag.

Peter's eyes flicker open as Claire takes the scalpel to the wound. He lets out a low moan of pain, eyes flicking around the room before landing on Claire. ‘Hey, so are you stealing my organs oooooor…?’

Wade crouches down, taking Peter's hand. ‘We just gotta get that bullet out okay Baby Boy? It’ll be over soon.’

‘Mmkay. That's…yeah. I’m just gonna…’

‘You go back to sleep. The pretty nurse here is gonna get you patched up real nice.’

Peter's eyes close but he keeps a hold of Wade's hand while Claire pulls the bullet out and bandages him up.

‘You know how to look after him?’ She asks Matt.

‘Yeah. His healing abilities will take care of it. It’ll be slow, since he was already pretty beaten up and he’s starving so-’

‘Hes WHAT?’ Wade snaps, wincing when the volume almost wakes Peter up again.

‘He's pretty much always hungry.’ Matt explains, shrugging a shoulder. ‘He needs a ridiculous amount of calories to keep up with his metabolism. He always told me that he couldn't afford the grocery bill so he just makes do with what he can. Don't worry, we’ll get some food in him when he wakes up.’

Claire gets to her feet, heading to the door. ‘When he wakes up, give him my number okay? Let him know that if he ever needs patching up, I’m available.’

‘You starting a superhero patch up service?’

‘Spider-Man saved my sister and her kids from a fire a few years back. It’s the least I could do to pay him back.’

Matt gives her a gentle smile. ‘I’ll pass on the message.’

Once Claire is gone, Matt turns his attention to Wade. ‘Are you staying too?’

‘Yeah, I want to make sure someone’s here when he wakes up. It sucks, waking up alone after dying.’

‘He’s not dead Wade.’

‘I know, but it feels the same…’

‘Stay as long as you need.’ Matt grabs two beers, passing one to Wade.

‘You’ve known him long? As Spidey.’ Wade asks, pulling his mask off to drink easier.

Matt chuckles. ‘I met him years ago, back when he was still in High School. Very early days of his superhero career.’

‘Shit, he started that early?’

Matt hums in confirmation, taking a sip from his bottle. ‘He had a lot of trouble controlling his senses when he was younger. I heard him on a rooftop over in Queens, in the middle of a full blown sensory overload. So I taught him how to control it, his hearing is almost as good as mine if he focuses. I’ve kept tabs on his hero career over the years and he stops by for information sometimes. But that’s about it.’

‘He trusts you… Said here was better than home since he had no food or heat. You know what he means by that?’

‘Well, the food you know. And as for the heat… Spiders can’t thermoregulate. If the heating in his apartment is busted, it would just add more problems for his healing abilities.’

‘Fuck, the guy spends his whole life helping New York and he cant afford the basics. He should be getting a paycheck for his heroism. Why haven't the Avengers scooped him up?’

‘They approached us both in the past. But with the Accords the way they are; the Avengers have to be unmasked. That doesn't work for us. I need to be Matt Murdock as well as Daredevil. Just like how he needs to be Peter Parker as much as he needs to be Spider-Man.’

Wade huffs. ‘Doesn't seem fair.’

‘Never is.’ Matt admits, finishing his beer. ‘I’ll let you get some rest. Night Wade.’

‘I’m drinking the rest of your beer while you’re gone.’

‘Help yourself.’ Matt laughs, waving as he heads to his bedroom.

Chapter Text

The first thought that hits Peter when he wakes up is that it's been too long since he’s slept in his own bed. He pulls at the unfamiliar blanket closer, squinting as bright lights from the window drag him awake.

‘You up Petey?’

‘Unfortunately.’ Peter moans, pulling the blanket up over his eyes to block the light out.

‘You ready for breakfast?’

Peter's stomach grumbles in response. Traitor.

‘I’ll take that as a yes.’ Wade chuckles and Peter listens to his footsteps as he heads to the kitchen. ‘What are you in the mood for?’

‘Anything works.’ Peter yawns, digging his elbows into the cushions to pull himself up. ‘Owwwww.’ His head lolls back and he tilts it to watch Wade work in the kitchen. Gasping softly when he realises that Wade isn’t wearing his trademark Deadpool mask. The scarred skin he had seen on the mans hands seems to stretch across his entire body.

Wade plates up a full breakfast and hands it over to Peter, who doesn't take his eyes off his face.

‘Whats- … Ah shit. Mask, right? Hang on, I’ll put it back on.’

‘No, no.’ Peter reaches out, grabbing Wade's arm to keep him in place. ‘It’s okay. It's nice, seeing your face when we're talking. Your eyes are... Wow.’

‘I’m going to chalk that one up to the blood loss Petey.’ Wade chuckles weakly, avoiding eye contact.

‘Pete-?… I took my mask off too. Didn't I?’

‘That you did Spidey. You were having a hard time breathing.’

‘Panic attack probably.’ Peter sighs, remembering snippets of the previous night. ‘This is how my uncle died.’

‘Dressed like a Spider?’

‘Gunshot wound to the abdomen. Car-jacking gone wrong.’

‘Parker luck?’

Peter nods wearily, falling back into the cushions. ‘It’s truly the worst.’

Chapter Text

‘This is how my uncle died.’

‘Dressed like a Spider?’

‘Gunshot wound to the abdomen. Car-jacking gone wrong.’ Peter replies quietly, not looking Wade in the eyes.

Wade frowns, hating the sad look on Peter's face. ‘Parker luck?’

Peter nods wearily, falling back into the cushions. ‘It’s truly the worst.’

Wade sits on the coffee table opposite the couch. ‘Eat, It’ll help you feel better.’

Peter grumbles under his breath, but grabs the fork anyway. ‘S’good. Thanks.’

Wade beams. ‘Still can’t believe little Bambi is Spider-Man.’ He huffs, shaking his head.

‘I’m going to kill Weasel.’ Peter mumbles through a mouth full of eggs. ‘I hate that nick-name.’

‘It suits you.’ Wade argues. ‘All cute and doe-eyed.’

Peter just rolls his eyes in response.

‘So what’s the plan Petey? Those Oscorp guys seemed pretty keen to get their hands on you.’

‘Yeah, um... My parents were scientists for Oscorp, from what I’ve managed to find it looks like my dad was determined to recreate the super soldier serum.’

‘That’s the one that got Cap all buff?’

‘That’s the one. I think they’re right about it being locked to my DNA. It would explain why they haven’t had any luck recreating it.’

‘Doesn’t explain the Spider theme though.’ Wade points out with a tilt to his head, eyes flicking down to the spider emblem on the chest of Peter’s costume.

‘It’s… a really dumb story.’

‘Oh now I’ve gotta hear it.’ Wade perks up, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged on the table. ‘Come on, give me the whole origin info-dump.’

Peter finishes off the plate and places it on the end of the table next to Wade. ‘Alright, so for a high school field trip our decathlon team went to Oscorp.’

‘Incredibly nerdy, go on.’

‘They were showing us their genetic experiments. Dr Connors was trying to use lizard DNA to regrow human limbs. Spoiler alert; that did not end well.’

‘Oh my god, was that the walking lizard in the lab coat?’

‘You know about him?’

‘First time Spidey made the papers, course I know about him.’

‘Huh, anyway, while Dr Connors was telling us about his research, I was bitten by a spider. I just kind of brushed it off and thought nothing of it. But then the whole lab gets evacuated because one of their experiments has gone missing and the next morning I wake up with a ton of crazy new powers.’

‘Oh my god. You were bit by a radioactive spider.’

‘Genetically modified spider.’ Peter corrects with a roll of his eyes.

‘Boo. You and DD could have been radioactive buddies.’

Peter arches an eyebrow. ‘Matt was bit by a radioactive spider?’

‘Hit by radioactive waste.’ Matt answers as he enters the room, dressed in loose tracksuit pants and a tight white t-shirt.

‘I have… so many questions.’

Matt chuckles under his breath as he crosses the room to fetch himself coffee. ‘There was an accident when I was a kid. It blinded me, but also enhanced my other senses as a result.’

‘Is that how you can fight so well?’

‘That’s mostly just years of training.’ Matt shrugs. ‘Not all of us are blessed with super strength and healing factors.’

Wade laughs, glancing over to catch Peter looking at him with an obvious curiosity. ‘You can ask.’

‘What about you? You know…since we’re trading origins?’

‘You know I took out Weapon X?’

Peter nods, when he first started his superhero career, Deadpool was a significantly more bloodthirsty threat. His trail of bodies made a bit more sense when people had read about what Weapon X had been up to, even if he couldn’t get behind the Deadpools murderous retaliation.

‘Cancer was going to kill me and they promised to fix me and give me kick ass super powers in the process.’ Wade huffs out a bitter laugh. ‘Turns out they just wanted super powered slaves. So when my powers kicked in after a few months of torture I burnt the place down and hunted down anyone involved. My fighting is all practice too though, I was Special Forces and a mercenary before el cancer fucked me up.’

‘Is that what the scars are from?’ Peter asks gently, obviously trying not to offend with the question.

‘Yeah, feel free to make jokes about how terrible it looks. I’ve heard them all from Weasel.’

‘...He’s a dick.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘That’s such a shitty thing to make fun of people for.’

Wade blinks comically before bursting into laughter. ‘Should have known you’d take the high ground Perfect-Petey. What about you Matt, come on.’

Matt just shrugs. ‘You look great to me.’

‘...You shit.’ Wade’s laughter increases to the point where he falls off the table. It must be contagious because Peter finds himself chuckling along too.

Matt sips his coffee and waits for them to finish, an amused smirk on his face. ‘You were talking about what we’re going to do about Peter’s Oscorp problem?’

Peter sobers up, turning to look at Matt. ‘I can handle it. I just need to…’ He sighs, shoulders slumped. ‘I don’t even know where to start.’

‘Luckily I do.’ Matt grabs his trademark red glasses from the counter and slides them on his face. ‘You said Oscorp is looking to use Peter Parker for their experiments. All we need is evidence of their human experiments and I’ll be able to get them prosecuted. We can disassemble the whole organisation and arrest the most dangerous parties by going through the proper legal channels.’

‘Are you sure we can’t just…’ Wade folds his hand into the shape of a gun. ‘Pew pew.’

‘Absolutely not.’ Matt scowls, slamming his mug onto the counter. ‘That’s a line I don’t cross.’

‘Agreed.’ Peter chimes in.

‘Great, now there’s two of you.’ Wade pouts.

‘All I need is some evidence and my law firm can handle this.’

‘I er… I can’t afford lawyers Matt.’ Peter winces.

Matt waves him off. ‘We do a lot of pro-bono work. I’d never charge you.’

‘Thanks.’ Peter gives him a genuine smile. ‘I should have all the evidence you need? I hacked into their servers and we got more information from the source last night. I can help you go through it?’

‘Alright, if we’re doing this above board, you’ll need to visit my firm. I can arrange for you to come tomorrow?’

‘Oooo, field trip.’ Wade grins devilishly.

‘I need you to be on your best behaviour if you’re going to meet my business partners.’ Matt warns him, an icy tone to his voice.

‘Scouts honour.’ Wade makes a cross over his heart.

Peter tries his best not to laugh out loud. ‘You weren't a scout.’

‘I was not. But Matty doesn’t need to know that.’ Wade stage whispers.

‘I won't hesitate to throw you out the window Deadpool.’

‘Do they know about the whole… Daredevil thing?’

‘They do.’ Matt nods. ‘They're not exactly happy about it. But they understand why I do it. Don’t worry, we don’t have to tell them about Spider-Man.’

‘I’d appreciate that. Thanks Matt.’ Peter tosses him the flash-drive before checking the time. ‘Oop, gotta go. I’ve got a meeting at the Bugle.’

‘You still work for the guy who tried to out Spidey?’ Wade asks, scooping up the Spider-Man mask to pass to Peter.

Peter shrugs. ‘It’s a living.’ He reaches over to take his mask, hissing as the action pulls at the bullet wound in his stomach. It may have mostly healed over but it still stings. Between that and the beating he got from the tracksuit mafia, Peter wants nothing more than to crawl into his own bed and sleep for a week. But duty calls, and he can’t risk losing out on any jobs Jameson might have for him.

‘Try not to get kidnapped on the way.’ Wade warns as he watches Peter head to the window.

‘I’ll do my best.’ Peter gives him a double thumbs up before shooting a web at the billboard opposite Matt's apartment, pulling himself out of the building.

‘Five bucks says he gets in trouble before he gets to his meeting.’ Wade smirks, reaching for his own mask.

‘I’ll take that bet. He’ll be careful now he knows who to look for. He has a knack for knowing when trouble is on the way. Surprised he didn’t see you coming.’

‘Oh har-har.’ Wade flips him off. ‘... I’m flipping you off by the way.’ He narrates.

‘Figured as much. Go on, get out of here. Some of us have real grown up jobs to do.’

‘Sir, yes sir.’ Wade salutes, yanking his mask on. He quickly googles where to find the Daily Bugle before following Spidey out of Matt’s window. If Peter is going to work, he might as well camp out outside to deter any evil scientist would-be kidnappers.

Chapter Text

Jameson's rant disguised as a meeting is blissfully short and Peter manages to escape the Bugle an hour after entering. He has a few commissions to work on which should be easy enough. The hardest one will be the photo of Spider-Man with Deadpool that Jameson wants. His boss has really latched onto the news that Spider-Man has been spotted with an infamous mercenary. Peter hasn’t tried to explain that Wade is trying to turn his life around. He knows Jameson won't listen. He wonders if Wade would be up for a paparazzi session and if that’s a weird thing to ask of a relatively new friend. 

Logically, Peter knows that he should head home and get some rest before his shift at Sister Margarets. But Peter has never been one for doing the smart thing. Instead, he grabs a quick coffee and an overly greasy breakfast sandwich from a food van and heads into an alley to get changed into his Spider-Man gear. 

There won’t be a lot of crime in New York in the middle of the day. But Peter knows that sometimes, Spider-Man sightings are sometimes enough to deter any would-be criminals. Just a subtle reminder that the city is protected. 

And besides, there are plenty of other ways he can help the city while he’s out and about. He helps an old woman cross the road, stops a purse snatcher and helps a group of lost tourists who ask him for a round of selfies once he’s pointed them in the right direction. 

As he poses, his spider sense goes wild. He swings into action, his side aching as the action strains the mostly healed bullet wound. Peter quickly catches sight of the problem, a golden retriever in a bright purple harness is in the middle of the bustling traffic. A car swerves but Peter can tell it has nowhere to go. The driver has to make a choice, hit the dog or swerve into the busy streets and hit multiple pedestrians. Peter fixes the real life trolley problem by removing the dog from the equation. He swings by and scoops the dog up with his free hand. After landing on the sidewalk, Peter gently places the dog back on the ground and checks it over for any injuries. 

‘You okay boy?’ He asks, crouching down in front of the dog. He laughs as it licks a strip of slobber against the side of his masked cheek. ‘I’ll take that as a yes. Let’s see.’ He twists the name tag attached to the harness so he can read it. ‘Lucky, huh? That’s a good name. Very fitting.’ The dog stares at him in response, one eye looks to be permanently closed. Peter smiles softly and pats its head. ‘Come on Lucky, let’s go find your owner.’ 

‘Lucky!’ A voice calls out from across the road. ‘There you are you stupid dog.’ 

Peter looks up to find a broad man with a hoodie covering most of his face yelling at him. The man crosses the road, flipping off any cars that dare to honk at him.

‘Spidey?’

Now that he’s closer, Peter can make out the scarred skin hidden by the hood. 

‘Hey Wade, small world. This your dog?’ He asks, one hand still on the harness to make sure there’s no more escape attempts.

‘Nope.’ He raises a broken purple lead to show Peter. ‘You’d think an Avenger could spring for better equipment.’

‘Avenger?’ 

‘This little mutt here is Hawkeye’s pooch. I’m working on taking less murder-y jobs. So figured I might as well try dog sitting. Hawkeye and other Hawkeye are out on some big, fancy mission. So Lucky here is all mine for the weekend.’ 

‘That’s awesome.’ Peter grins, petting the dog. 

‘It would be if I could keep a hold of the little bastard. Last thing I need is for Hawkguys' dog to die on my watch. It’s bad enough getting on his bad side, but when he gets Black Widow involved…’ Wade trails off with a shudder. ‘If anyone could figure out a way to make me perma-dead. It’s that woman.’ 

Peter takes the broken lead from Wade's hands and webs it back to the harness. ‘That should hold for a little while.’ He says, jumping to his feet. 

‘Thanks Webs. I owe you one. You gonna be at Weasels place tonight?’

‘Yup, I start at nine.’ 

‘Go home and get some sleep then.’ Wade tells him, a fond but chastising look on his face.

‘Sleep is for the weak.’ Peter grins, lifting his arm up to web himself away from the conversation. ‘See you later!’ 

***

Peter falls through the window to his apartment a few hours later. As much as he joked, he really does need to sleep. Caffeine rushes only go so far with an advanced metabolism. 

A rush of warm air hits him and Peter takes a moment to appreciate the absolute miracle that is his landlord fixing the heating for the building. He sighs in relief as he lets the warmth envelope him and tugs his mask off.

As much as he wants to just fall into bed, he knows he has to try to eat something. He pulls his fridge open, expecting mostly empty shelves, in an attempt to cobble together a meal. He blinks in confusion as he’s instead met by a fridge full to bursting point. The shelves are fully stocked with a range of vegetables, meats and cheeses. Peter even spots some fresh milk, something he always forgets to buy. He pulls the drawer to the freezer open to find it similarly stocked with microwave meals and ice cream. Bewildered, he quickly checks to make sure this is actually his apartment and that he hasn’t stumbled into the wrong place by mistake. But no, that’s definitely his collection of magnets and photos pinned to the fridge door. Aunt May and Uncle Ben's photos smile back at him while he blinks in utter confusion. His stomach rumbles angrily so he grabs one of the microwave pizzas and sets it away while he explores the rest of the apartment, trying to find out what kind of weird reverse burglary is going on here.

It all starts to make a bit more sense when he spots a bright blue blanket featuring a cartoon version of his Spider-Man mask draped over his couch. A vague memory comes to Peter's mind. He remembers being pretty delirious from the gunshot wound and telling Wade that he’s not likely to heal well in his own home because of the lack of heat or food. He huffs out a laugh to himself as he pulls the pizza out of the microwave.

It may be a weird violation of Peter’s privacy, but he can’t bring himself to care as he digs into the cheesy goodness. He’ll get mad about Wade breaking into his house to leave all this later. Right now all he wants to do is eat until he’s actually full for once and take a nap before he has to head to the bar. 

***

Peter pushes his way into Sister Margarets and waves a quick greeting at Jack before doing a scan of the bar's patrons. The usual array of thugs and mercenaries fill the room and it doesn’t take him long to spot the flash of a red and black costume. Wade is flicking through the songs on the jukebox, Peter can almost see him grinning under the mask as “what’s new pussycat” starts to play. 

‘Wilson, I swear to God you play that one more time and I’ll set every mercenary in this place on you.’ Jack snaps, throwing a dirty dish rag at Wade’s head. 

‘You just don’t appreciate the classics.’ Wade pouts, swaying his hips to the song. He spins dramatically, throwing his arms out when he spots Peter. ‘Baby boy!’ 

Peter slips past a few thugs to slide up next to Wade. ‘Hey Pool. You know anything about my mysterious new benefactor?’ 

Wade gasps, doing a terrible job of faking ignorance. ‘You got yourself a sugar daddy?’ 

‘Oh god, please don’t call it that.’ Peter grimaces, ignoring Wade's laughter. ‘You didn’t have to do all that.’ 

‘Hell it’s the least I could do. I have a lot of dirty money, but I’m on the straight and narrow now. So… I want to use it on good things. To try to make up for all the shit I did. And helping out our friendly neighbourhood vigilante when New York or the Avengers won’t is on the top of that list. Made a big donation to F.E.A.S.T too.’

Peter can’t help the huge grin that crosses his face. ‘No way, that’s amazing Wade!’ 

Wade looks away, rubbing the back of his head. His whole body language radiates embarrassment. ‘It’s nothing. It’s a nice place. I wanna help.’ 

‘The money’s gonna help a lot of people. But no more slipping things into my apartment okay? I can look after myself.’ 

‘I make no promises.’ 

Peter wants to argue back, but Jack calls him over to the bar for work. ‘We’ll finish this later.’ He warns as he hops onto one of the bar stools and grabs the laptop Jack passes to him. 

For the next few hours, Peter flicks through the job offers and gets to work on the more straightforward hacking jobs. He’s so deep into his work that he almost misses the man who slips into the empty bar stool next to him. The guy slides a drink over to Peter before taking a drink of his own. ‘Thought you could do with a pick me up. You’ve been working pretty hard there.’ 

Peter glances down at the drink, he probably shouldn't accept drinks from strange men. He doesn’t exactly have the time to entertain anyone's attempts to flirt with him. But he’s never been one to turn down free drinks, they just normally come from Jack. ‘Thanks.’ Peter offers the guy a tired smile, frowning slightly as his spider sense starts to hum the second his hand touches the glass. 

Everyone in the room is dangerous, that’s just what happens when you work in a bar that caters for mercenaries, but normally Peter's spider sense is pretty subdued. The men are dangerous, but they know he’s with Jack (and more recently Wade) so they don’t mean him any harm. 

Peter picks the drink up as his eyes scan the man for potential threats. He can’t see any weapons, but Peter knows he can’t assume that the man isn’t concealing anything. He has a smug, overconfident expression and his eyes flick up and down Peter’s body. He doubts the guy is looking for weapons like he is.

While he’s trying to fathom just what his spider sense is trying to warn him about, Peter downs the drink. He freezes fractionally as the drink slips down his throat. For normal people, the drug that the guy had slipped in there would be undetectable, but Peter’s enhanced senses flood him with a strange chemical after taste.

‘Thanks.’ He mutters, feigning politeness as he places the glass back on the bar. 

‘You looked like you could use it. So what do you do, Handsome?’ He asks, leaning in closer than Peter would ever be comfortable with. 

‘You must be new here.’ Peter comments, closing the laptop and slipping it behind the bar. ‘I work for Weasel. Excuse me a sec? I need some air.’ Peter jumps off the stool, frowning when his legs wobble as they hit the ground. He forces himself to start walking, not giving the guy a chance to respond. 

Peter bumps into a number of mercenaries as he heads to the exit, they sneer but relax when they realise it’s just him. He swings by the jukebox on the way, sending Wade what he hopes is a significant enough look as he gets close. ‘I think that sleaze at the bar just roofied me.’ He says, keeping his voice low and calm so he doesn't draw any other attention. ‘Do me a favour and follow him if he follows me out?’ 

The eyes of Wade's mask narrows as he glares down at the blissfully unaware man at the bar. ‘Understood.’ He practically growls. 

Peter pushes his way past the rest of the patrons to escape the bar. He takes a greedy gulp of the cold night air as it hits him. He was already hitting his limit with the exhaustion and the strain he’s been putting on his healing factor, but it's hitting a whole new level now that his body is speeding it’s way through metabolising the drug. He wrinkles his nose as the less than fragrant smells of the alleyway flood his already overwhelmed senses, and leans his back against the cold brick wall while he waits. 

Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t have to wait long. Slimy McSleazeball opens the door a few moments later. ‘There you are Handsome. Fancy meeting you here.’ His mouth moves, spreading into a predatory grin. 

Peter huffs out a laugh, trying to ignore how loose his limbs feel. ‘You really fucked up buddy.’

‘Oh, I’m not the one whose about to be fucked up.’ He laughs darkly as he stalks closer. 

The door to St Margarets is kicked off its hinges as Wade storms out, katanas already drawn. ‘No, it’s definitely you Fuck-face. Hey Petey, you want me to cut this guys dick off?’ 

Peter hums non-committedly. Talking feels like too much effort right now, he can feel himself starting to slide down the wall. He hits the floor with a soft ‘oof.’ 

‘Oh yeah, you’re definetly fucked.’ Wade's voice is dark and dangerous, nothing like the way he talks to Peter. ‘See, he’s my moral compass. And right now I don't think he’s too inclined to tell me to take it easy on you.’ 

‘No killing.’ Peter manages to mumble, resting his forehead against his knees. 

‘Yeah, yeah. I know.’ 

The guy's eyes fall on the katanas as they glint dangerously in the lights of the streetlamp. ‘Hey, look man. I was just-’

Wade doesn’t let him get through the sentence. A katana pierces the man's shoulder, pinning him to the wall. Peter winces as the man's screams shake his heightened hearing, his hands come up to cover his ears. He internally curses, his movements are too sluggish. He hasn’t felt this helpless in a long time.  

Wade rifles through the man's pockets, taking his wallet and the small bag of drugs he had stashed away. 

‘Hey, thats-’

Scowling, Wade twists the katana. ‘What makes you think I want to hear a word out of you?’ He takes a step away to crouch in front of Peter, ignoring the way the man is howling in pain. ‘Hey Bambi, how you doing?’

‘Everythings kinda fuzzy.’ Peter admits. ‘Not sure I could stand right now.’ 

‘I got you.’ Wade says gently, scooping Peter up. Under normal circumstances, Peter would object to the princess carry. But he doesn’t have the energy to argue right now. 

Wade's voice darkens as he kicks the man in the stomach on his way past. ‘Cops have been called. So they should be coming to pick you up. Not sure you’ll last that long though.’ He stands in the open doorway of the bar, yelling into the crowded room. ‘Shiskababed pervert outside, feel free to fuck him up!’  He heads down the street with Peter carefully held in his arms. ‘Good luck Jackass.’ He calls out as he speedwalks away from the bar, wanting to get Peter home as soon as possible. 

‘I’m alright.’ Peter slurs, resting his head against Wade's shoulder.

‘Course you are Baby Boy.’ 

‘Rohypnol stays in the body for four to six hours.’ Peter tells him. ‘So with my metabolism that's like an hour tops. Probably less.’ 

‘Not your first rodeo, huh Spidey?’

Peter shrugs. ‘When it happens, you learn all the ways to stop it happening again.’ Peter frowns when he feels Wade's grip on him tighten. ‘... I’m oversharing.’ 

Wade takes a long, deep breath before responding. ‘No, you’re good Petey-Pie. Let's just get you home okay?’

‘Yes, please. That.’ Peter mumbles.  

‘You got it Pete.’ 

Peter almost falls asleep for the rest of the way, jostling into a more awake state of being when he’s gently placed on the couch. He squints to get the world back into focus as Wade busies himself about the room, returning with a glass of water which he pushes into Peter's hands before throwing the fluffy Spider-Man blanket across his lap. 

‘Drink that. It’ll help your body flush out that shit.’ He tells Peter as he yanks off his mask and starts a search for the TV remote. ‘Ah-ha.’ He grins as he swipes it from under the battered coffee table. ‘What have you been watching?’ He asks as he falls back onto the couch to sit near Peter. 

Peter avoids eye contact as Wade pulls open his netflix account to show the next episode of Brigerton lined up. He carefully takes a sip of his water, trying not to spill it. His grip seems weirdly loose and his normally sticky fingers won't adhere to the glass. 

‘Well I haven’t seen any of this so we’re just going to have to start at episode one.’ Wade declares, pulling up the episode list. 

‘You’re staying?’ Peter asks.

‘Course I am.’ Wade replies as if it was obvious. ‘I’m not letting you be all drugged up and vulnerable alone.’ 

Peter bites his lip. ‘...Thanks for helping.’ 

Wade pauses, obviously mentally weighing up how to respond. ‘Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me and to let me help. I have your back. As Spidey or as Peter.’ 

‘I know.’ Peter nods. ‘It means a lot…’ 

‘Alright.’ Wade claps his hands together, causing Peter to jump. ‘That’s enough emotions for one night.’ He takes the mostly empty glass from Peter's hands to place on the coffee table in front of them. ‘Let’s watch our regency period drama like men.’ 

Peter chuckles and pulls the blanket closer to himself. As weird as it is to be surrounded by tiny versions of his masked face, the blanket is one of the cosiest things he’s ever owned.

As Lady Whistledown's narration starts, Peter feels his eyelids get heavy and close. He slips along the back of the couch to rest against Wade’s shoulder. The last thing he feels before sleep takes him is the mercenary's arm wrapping around his shoulders.

Hours pass, but Wade can’t sleep. He’s too jacked up on the need to protect Peter. Logically, he knows the drug will be out of Peter’s system by now thanks to his healing factor. And even if any threat was to manifest itself into Peter's apartment, his spidey sense would wake him up. But even with all that rational thought, Wade can’t relax. He keeps a watchful vigil over the sleeping vigilante. Listening to the steady rise and fall of Peter’s breath as he watches the Bridgerton siblings attempt to find love. 

Chapter Text

Peter wakes up in his own bed, a novel feeling after the past week of waking up in various vigilante homes. He doesn’t dwell on it too long as a feeling of nausea hits him. Throwing off the covers, Peter makes a beeline to the bathroom. He’s vaguely aware that Wade is in the kitchen talking to him, but he just holds up a finger in a vague “I need a minute” gesture before slamming the door of the bathroom shut behind him. 

After emptying his stomach, brushing his teeth twice and splashing some water on his face, Peter feels vaguely more human. He doesn’t feel quite ready for company yet, so jumps in the shower, almost melting as the warm water hits his stiff shoulders. 

With no clean clothes in the bathroom, Peter grabs a towel and wraps it around his waist before exiting to head back to his bedroom. He stubbornly ignores Wade’s teasing wolf whistle and quickly redresses in the privacy of his own bedroom. Too lazy to choose an actual adult outfit, Peter throws on a grey Midtown High shirt that was always a few sizes too big and Captain America pyjama pants that MJ got him for Christmas years ago. 

He pulls open the door, finally ready to greet Wade, but is knocked over by a very enthusiastic labrador before he gets a chance. 

‘Sorry Webs.’ Wade's voice calls from the kitchen. ‘Didn’t want to leave the dog alone for too long.’ 

‘It’s alright.’ Peter smiles, he’s always had a soft spot for dogs but Uncle Ben’s allergies meant that they couldn’t have one when he was growing up. He sits on the floor a while to pet Lucky before the smells from the kitchen become too tempting and he pulls himself up to see what Wade is up to. 

He’s suitably surprised by the literal mountain of pancakes Wade has stacked onto a tray, laughing as Wade shoos him out of the kitchen and back onto his couch. 

‘So I got caught up with Bridgerton.’ Wade tells him as he places the pancakes on the coffee table, tossing one to Lucky as he goes back to collect two coffee cups. 

‘You watched the whole first season? Wade, that's like 8 hours of TV.’

‘What can I say. I’m an overachiever.’ Wade shrugs. ‘Anyhoo, now we need to binge the next season. I am dyyyyying to find out how Eloise is going to react when she finds out her bestie is Lady W.’

‘I can’t spend all day watching TV Pool.’ Peter complains as Wade shoves a plate of pancakes into his hands.

‘Yes you can.’ Wade retorts. ‘All we have to do today is meetup with DD. And I told him we’re not going until like 3. So that’s plenty of time to put a dint into season 2.’

‘Wade-’ He’s cut off before he has a chance to complain.

‘You’ve got to learn to let yourself rest Petey. A burnt out Spider-Man isn’t going to be able to help New York.’

Peter pouts, but he can’t argue with Deadpool's logic. Instead of arguing, he starts to eat and settles back into the couch as Wade loads up his Netflix. 

After a few minutes, Wade breaks the silence. ‘How you feeling?’

‘Alright… Kind of embarrassed?’ Peter admits with a sigh. ‘It was dumb of me to drink it. I’m too used to drinking whatever Jack puts in front of me.’

‘Not your fault New York is full of scumbags.’ Wade pauses for a moment, before continuing. ‘You said something about last night not being your first time with that kind of bullshit. Anyone else I need to beat up?’

Peter chuckles quietly. ‘No, you’re good. He’s still in jail. I… I check whenever I have a nightmare about it. He’s definitely still there.’ 

‘Alright. You let me know if anything changes.’ 

‘You’ll be the first one I call.’ 

Wade hums a content agreement and lets the conversation slip away, settling in to watch the show. The morning passes in a blur of pancakes, yelling at the tv and stumbling over each other when they realise they were so caught up in the show that now they’re going to be late for their appointment at Matt’s law firm.

‘God dammit.’ Wade swears as he looks around for his discarded mask. ‘He was finally going to grow a pair and ask Kate out.’

‘No way.’ Peter calls from the bedroom where he’s pulling out a shirt in desperate need of ironing. He winces at the sight of it but it’s the best he can do at the moment so he pulls off his Midtown t-shirt and changes. ‘He’s engaged to her sister now. That would just be awkward.’

‘I believe in true love!’ Wade yells at him, chasing Lucky around the apartment in a vain attempt to dress the dog in his harness. ‘Kantony are endgame Baby.’

‘That’s a terrible ship name.’ Peter wrinkles his nose and grabs his dress shoes. They’re scuffed to hell and the sole is practically falling off one of them. He quickly laces them up and joins Wade. ‘Ready?’ 

‘As I’ll ever be.’ Wade beams before hiding his face with his mask. 

On their way to Hell's Kitchen, Wade pauses and shoves Lucky's lead into Peter's hand. ‘Brb Petey. Gonna get us some coffee.’

‘We’re already late?’

‘Yeah, but now we’ll be late and caffeinated.’ 

Peter can’t exactly refuse that logic so he just shrugs in response, leaning against the wall while he waits with Lucky. 

Wade waits in line at the food truck, eyeing up their list of donuts and wondering which flavors Peter would like. He turns to look at the man but is distracted by a pretentiously dressed blond jogging over to Peter.

‘Puny Parker! Thought that was you.’ 

Wade doesn’t miss the way Peter's shoulder tense and his hand clenches around Lucky's lead as the man approaches him.

‘Parker, heard on the grapevine you were hanging around with Wimpy Weasel these days. Suppose you have to go down a peg or two now that you don’t have Osborne to pay your way.’ 

Peter rolls his eyes. ‘Who I hang out with is none of your business Flash.’

Wade spots Peter's eyes flick to him, working out how long until he can escape from the uncomfortable conversation. Wade gets to the front of the queue and orders two coffees and a bag full of donuts. While he pays, he listens in on the conversation. Flash must have followed Peter's eyeline over to the truck.

‘Oh fuck is that Deadpool? What’s someone like him doing here, this is supposed to be a respectable neighborhood.’ 

Wade’s certainly be called worse, he doesn’t exactly care about the opinion of some overdressed rich boy. But Peter doesn’t seem to share Wade's casual reaction to it. 

‘Listen Flash, now that we’re adults in the real world, I’m more than happy to tell you to fuck off.’ Peter snaps. ‘So first of all, you’ve got no business badmouthing Jack like that. He’s the smartest guy I know and he built his business through hard work. Right now he has enough contacts who owe him favours that he could probably take over a small country if he wanted. And sure, Deadpool has done some shitty things in the past but he’s a good person who’s trying to do better. Something no one could ever say about you.’ 

Wade pushes down the sheer pride that’s trying to burst its way out of his chest and makes his way over to rescue Peter as the blond's face turns red. 

‘Here you go Sweetums.’ He passes a cup over to Peter, intentionally puffing out his chest to make himself look tall and intimidating. ‘Who’s your friend?’

‘Flash was just leaving.’ Peter tells him, eyeing the man as he drinks.

Flash takes one look at Wade and stammers an excuse to leave before breaking out into a run, stumbling over his feet as he escapes. 

‘Ugh.’ Peter shudders. ‘Thanks for the coffee.’ He smiles at Wade as they continue walking in the direction of Hell's Kitchen.

‘Who was that?’

‘High school bully.’ Peter explains with a shrug. ‘I used to just put up with it when we were in school. Partly because it would be super suspicious if “Puny Parker” suddenly had the muscles to fight back. But also because if I stood up to him, he and his gang would just target someone else. At least when he threw me into a locker or knocked me down the stairs, the bruises would be gone in a day. You know?’

Wade blinks, processing the information. ‘It is… insane that you didn’t go all super villain the second you got your powers.’

Peter laughs. ‘My Uncle was a big part of that.’ He explains. ‘He told me once… with great power comes great responsibility. Around the time I got my powers there was this mugger, and I just let him go because it wasn’t my job to catch him you know? But then later that night he pulled my uncle out of his car and shot him for the keys.’ 

‘Jesus, Parker Luck doesn’t fuck around, huh?’

‘It’s a real bitch.’

‘So that’s why you do what you do, huh?’

‘Yup. I know I can’t always save everyone… but I have to try to put some good back out into the world.’

‘Even when the world is so shitty to you?’

‘Even then.’

‘...You really mean what you said? About me being a good guy?’

‘Of course I did.’ Peter says as if it’s an obvious answer. ‘In the last week you tried to save me from the tracksuits, twice. Stopped JJ from trying to pay everyone for my identity. Helped me break into Oscorp. Took me to safety when I got shot. Fixed my heating and filled my kitchen with food. Donated a ton of money to the shelter. Stopped that guy from getting handsy last night. Do I need to go on?’ Peter knocks Wade’s shoulder with his own. ‘You’re a good person Wade, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.’ 

‘...You’re better at the whole hero speech thing than Colossus is.’

‘Who?’

‘X-man. Unimportant.’ Wade shakes his head. ‘He made a big deal about how it only takes four or five pivotal moments to make someone a hero. I think…’ He swallows nervously. ‘I think meeting you was one of those for me.’

‘Me?’ Peter raises an eyebrow.

‘You.’ Wade laughs. ‘I thought you were some menace like the papers said. That you’d be some easy cash once I got that mask off you. But you were out there rehabilitating all the bad guys I saw you go up against. It was insane. You make me believe I can be a better person Webs.’ 

‘Of course you can. You’re already amazing.’

‘Now that has a ring to it. The Amazing Deadpool. Now wait, Spectacular Deadpool? Ultimate Deadpool? Eh, we’ll workshop it.’

Chapter Text

As expected, Wade and Peter make it to the Hell's Kitchen law firm late but sufficiently caffeinated. Peter knocks on the door, smiling awkwardly at the blonde woman who opens it. 

‘Hey. You must be Peter and Wade. Come on in. I’m Karen and that’s Foggy.’ She says, pointing at a long haired man sat at a desk with stacks of paperwork so high they look like they're about to scatter. 

‘Oh, Matt’s friends right?’ Foggy looks up with a small wave. ‘...You can’t bring a dog in here.’ He frowns down at the offending pooch. 

Wade gasps dramatically. ‘It’s a service dog, you abelist fuck.’

‘Yes but he’s not your service dog.’ Matt points out as he enters the room. ‘He’s Hawkeyes.’

‘Potato, Tomato.’ Wade shrugs.

Matt just shakes his head, thoroughly used to Wades antics by now. ‘Glad you could both make it, come on. I’ve got someone I’d like you to meet in my office.’ 

‘We’ll get you some coffee.’ Karen quickly takes the opportunity to pet Lucky before heading to their small kitchen with Foggy. 

Matt leads Peter and Wade to another room where a short man in a tattered grey hoodie sits having a hushed argument with himself. 

‘Peter, Wade. This is Eddie Brock.’

‘Hey Eddie.’ Peter grins, falling into the seat next to him with a sense of easy familiarity. ‘How’s V?’

‘Pouting.’ Eddie rolls his eyes as he responds. 

Before Peter can reply, a lump of black goo peeks out from the collar of Eddie's hoodie, forming eyes and teeth as it grows. ‘We are hungry!’ It hisses. 

Wade stares at the weird black slime, automatically placing himself between it and Lucky, just in case. ‘Is that… the alien thing?’

‘Not a thing.’ Venom pouts, hissing at Wade as inky black tendrils reach over to Peter’s shoulder. 

‘What the fuck is that?’ Karen shrieks as she drops the tray of coffee mugs she was holding. 

Eddie lets out a long suffering sigh. ‘Venom. Buddy. We talked about this. We’ve gotta be more incognito.’

‘But we want to say hello to the Spider.’ Venom snarls as it slips over to sit on Peter's shoulder, leaving Eddie completely. The symbiote moves to rest on Peter's chest, tendrils stretching out to mimic the design of the spider emblem on Peter's suit. 

‘Well now you’ve blown his cover too!’ Eddie hisses. 

Peter, who’s acting like this is an entirely normal thing to be happening to him, reaches up to pet Venom's head. ‘It’s alright, if Matt trusts them I don’t mind too much.’ 

‘Matt… What the actual fuck is happening?’ Foggy demands. ‘I’m glaring at you by the way.’ 

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about. This sounds like a totally normal conversation to me.’ Matt says simply, a hint of a smile on his face.

‘Murdock, I swear to God.’ 

‘You shouldn’t blaspheme like that Foggy.’ Matt shrugs a shoulder. ‘Okay. So this is Peter Parker.’ 

Peter waves a hand, Venoms tendrils have extended down his arm and are in the process of wrapping around his fingers. ‘Also known as Spider-Man.’ 

‘We also have Wade Wilson. Who you’ll probably know better as Deadpool. And this is Eddie Brock. An investigative reporter who I thought could help us dig up some more information about Oscorp.’ 

‘And the goo…?’ Karen asks, tentatively moving closer to Peter for a better look.

‘I’m not sure about that one.’ Matt shrugs. 

‘You don’t seem too surprised by us though.’ Eddie notes, arching an eyebrow. 

‘I knew there was something off with your physiology.’ Matt explains. ‘With my hearing, I can sense things like heart beats and adrenaline spikes. You’re a lot more complicated than a standard human.’ 

‘Venom is an alien symbiote.’ Peter explains in a tone that reminds Wade that Peter's true vocation in life is being a huge science nerd. ‘They rely on a human host to survive.’ 

‘Like a parasite.’ Eddie adds, laughing when Venom's teeth grow as they snarl. 

‘Eddie is the most compatible host for them.’ Peter continues, digging through the bag of donuts Wade had bought until he finds a chocolate one. He passes it to the symbiote who swallows it whole. ‘Other bodies don’t last so long. But we found out that they can hang out with me for longer than most. Probably because of the healing factor? It’s hard to say, we’ve never really studied it properly.’

‘That is… the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen.’ Foggy moves closer to Matt, doing his best to edge around the room out of the way of the symbiote. ‘Matt, I can’t believe you’re the normal one here.’ 

Happy with the donut offering, Venom slowly retreats to hide under Peter's skin. 

‘I feel like we’re skipping over the big scoop that you’re Spider-Man.’ Karen notes, eyes fixed on Peter. 

‘Heh, guilty.’ Peter gives her an awkward smile, avoiding eye contact. 

‘You saved my life once.’ She tells him. ‘Stopped the train I was on from crashing, I never got to thank you.’

‘You don’t need to thank me. I’m happy to help! Besides, if it’s the time I’m thinking of it’s totally my fault. I should have gotten Electro away from the subway sooner.’ 

‘Just accept the gratitude Petey.’ Wade goes to hit Peter’s shoulder but is suddenly stopped when Peter's hand, coated in the black goo of Venom, reaches up to grab him. 

‘He wasn’t going to hurt me V.’ Peter says, shooting Wade an apologetic look as the hand around his wrist tightens. 

Peter can feel Venom digging through his memories to confirm that he’s telling the truth. Venom grumbles in protest but slowly releases his grip on Wade. 

‘V. Play nice.’ Eddie warns, rolling his eyes fondly when Venom just hisses in response. ‘Anyway, tell me about this Oscorp scandal.’ 

Peter fidgets nervously in his seat. ‘Well… I was not entirely legally accessing Oscorps servers…’

Matt chuckles, leaning against the wall. ‘We’re not going to arrest you Peter.’

‘You promise?’ Peter asks, arching an eyebrow.

Wade bumps Peter's shoulder. ‘They’d never take up alive Baby-Boy.’

Peter chuckles, relaxing a bit. ‘So I was looking into what experiments they were up to around the time I got my powers. It looks like they’ve been trying to recreate the super soldier serum, but the only breakthrough they had was locked to the genetic code of the scientist who figured it out.’ Peter huffs, folding his arms across his chest. If Wade focuses he can see a dark black tinge to Peter's veins where Venom is roaming through his body. ‘My parents died not long after they wrote the experiments off as a failure. So I’m guessing that's not just some random coincidence.’ Peters hands clench into fists for a moment before relaxing again. ‘Back when I got my powers, Oscorp were just doing animal experiments. But now they’re trialling it on humans instead. There's no record of what they’re doing when the experiments fail…’

‘It’s all starting to feel very Weapon X-like.’ Wade twitches, hands eager to find a weapon. 

‘We stole a whole bunch of data from them.’ Peter explains. ‘And we overheard that they want to bring me in for testing because I’m the lead scientist's son. Which means more kidnapping attempts in my future.’ 

‘Yeah, you probably should probably crash at mine for a while Webs, just in case.’

Peter sighs. ‘Yeah, you’re right. Thanks Wade.’ 

Foggy blinks, looking between Peter and Wade with a bewildered expression. ‘That's… a lot to take in. Honestly, I’m still stuck on the part where Spider-Man is in my office.’

‘Sorry.’ Peter winced. ‘I know it’s a lot. And I really don’t want to risk putting any of you in danger…’

Karen just laughs. ‘That’s kind of our whole business model.’ 

‘We put Fisk away using the law. We can do the same with Oscorp.’ Matt assures him. ‘It’s the only way to stop them completely.’

‘I vote we just burn the whole place down.’ Wade interjects. ‘If they’re as bad as Weapon X they deserve to burn.’ 

‘Not an option.’ Peter shakes his head. ‘Matt’s right. If we go in as Team Red then they’ll just scatter and regroup.’

‘...Team Red?’ Wade asks, an amused smile on his lips.

Peter looks away, embarrassed. ‘Well yeah. We uh… all have red in our costumes. Team Red.’

‘That is… so freakin’ cute Webs.’

‘Shut up.’ Peter's face starts to turn red, but before Wade can tease him more, he spots Peter's expression drop. The web-slinger tilts his head, listening to something that must be too out of range for Wade's hearing. Wade’s theory is confirmed when he looks over at Matt, who has the same tense expression. 

‘What’s up?’

‘Trouble…’ Matt scowls. 

‘Shit, I didn't bring my suit.’ Peter spins around to look at Eddie. ‘Can I borrow V?’

‘Sure Pete.’ Eddie shrugs. 

Peter offers him a quick smile as he jumps out of his seat. As he stands, the black tendrils quickly cover his entire body to form a sleek black version of his suit. ‘Thanks Eddie. See ya later.’ He pulls the window out of it and swings through, escaping the office. 

‘Dumbass solo act.’ Wade huffs. ‘We’re going right?’ 

Matt takes off his red glasses and grabs his black head scarf from a hidden compartment in his desk, tying it to cover his face. ‘Of course we are.’

‘Team Red.’ Wade beams, holding out a hand for a high five. ‘... Matthew. I know you know you can sense my hand. Do not leave me hanging.’

Matt reluctantly high fives Wade.

‘Team Red.’ Wade sings, before leaping out through the window to chase down whatever trouble Peter was throwing himself into. ‘Look after the dog!’ He calls up to the office as an afterthought.

Matt follows Wade, leaving Eddie, Foggy and Karen alone with Lucky. 

‘...This normal for you?’ Foggy asks with an arched eyebrow. 

‘Yeah, pretty much.’ Eddie shrugs casually. ‘Can I borrow a laptop?’ 

Foggy scowls but hands Eddie his laptop anyway. Trying to reconcile the absolutely absurd concept that this was his life now. ‘At least you’re having a good time.’ He comments to Karen, who has started playing fetch with Lucky by throwing a ball of paper around. ‘You’re okay with all this nonsense?’

Karen just shrugs. ‘If you overthink it, it’ll drive you crazy. Best to just go with the flow.’ 

Eddie huffs out a laugh as he types on the laptop. ‘Ain't that the truth.’

Chapter Text

Working with a team is surprisingly a lot easier than Peter had imagined it being. In the past, whenever he’s had to team up with the Avengers he’s always been put off by the bickering of the group. There’s always some weird power struggle between Captain America and Iron Man over the comms and Peter always finds himself more exhausted by trying to understand the group dynamic than the actual fight itself. 

But as he faces off against the Sandman with Team Red (plus Venom) at his side, it’s never felt easier. They know each other's fight styles well enough that they never get in each other's way and Peter finds that he doesn’t have to worry about Wade slipping into his more lethal means of conflict resolution. He trusts the man to do what’s right. 

The fight is over in record time, with Matt tutting over the damage caused to Hell’s Kitchen as Peter covers Sandman with enough webbing to make sure he can’t slip away. 

Wade wraps an arm around Peter's shoulders as the sound of police sirens get closer. ‘How about we get out of here and finish up season 2 of Bridgerton?’

‘What about Oscorp?’ Peter asks, looking over to Matt who just waves them off. 

‘We’ve got more than enough to look into. I’ll call you if we need anything.’

‘If you’re sure…’

‘Come on Webs.’ Wade says with an overdramatic flair as he swoons against Peter. ‘Whisk me away.’ 

Peter rolls his eyes but wraps one arm around Wade’s waist. ‘Hold tight.’ He warns as he uses the other hand to shoot a web at the top of the closest building, pulling them into the air. 

Wade grins, gripping onto Peter as he swings them back to Matt’s law firm. 

‘Boo. Why are we back here?’ He complains as Peter drops them through the window. 

‘Well, you’re supposed to be dog-sitting.’ Peter points out, his black suit slowly starts to recede. Venom forms a small ball of black goo which sits in Peter's palms. ‘And I have a symbiote to return.’

‘... Does this mean we don’t get to swing back to my place.’

‘Yep. We can take the subway.’

‘Laaaaaame.’ 

Peter just laughs as they step through the office to find Eddie. ‘Come on, it’ll be nice to hang out when I’m not bleeding out or all drugged up.’

‘More information than I ever needed to know about your private life Pete.’ Eddie comments with an amused smile, already reaching a hand out to take Venom back.

‘Long story.’ Peter rolls his eyes as the symbiote hops over to Eddie. ‘Come by Sister Margaret's sometime and I’ll fill you in.’

‘You going to hook me up with free drinks?’

‘And piss Weasel off? Absolutely not, you’re on your own.’

Wade arches an eyebrow. ‘How does everybody know Weasel?’

‘Oh! Eddie was a few years above us in school. He’s secretly a science nerd. He actually used to intern for Dr Connors before the whole lizard incident.’ 

Eddie laughs. ‘Speaking of high school, have you heard from MJ?’

‘Not for a while.’ Peter shrugs. 

‘I think she’s coming back to town soon. Something about some off-broadway gig or something. My Aunt didn’t know a lot of the details. You know how the golden girls gossip chain is.’ 

‘Huh. Yeah…’ Peter responds, almost distantly. ‘Anyway, we’d better go. See you and V later.’ He gives them a quick wave before escaping the law firm. 

Wade quickly wrangles Lucky out of Karen's hands to follow. ‘So who’s MJ?’ He asks as he falls into step with Peter, keeping a close eye on the tense look on Peter's face. 

‘Hm? Oh. Just… old friend. She used to live next to me and Aunt May.’

‘Ooo, girl next door type?’

Peter laughs under his breath. ‘Something like that.’ 

‘Is she “the one who got away”?’ Wade pushes with a teasing tone. 

‘Can we just… drop it? Please.’ 

‘... Sure thing Bambi.’ 

The rest of the conversations is mostly one sided, with Wade rambling away to try to distract Peter from whatever problem is eating away at him.

‘Hey.’ He prods Peter's side as they fall into seats on the subway. ‘What's the dumbest villain you’ve ever faced?’

‘The… what?’

‘You know how they all have like… a theme? What’s the dumbest theme you’ve seen?’

Peter blinks for a moment before zoning back into the conversation. ‘Um…well. You know about Dr Connors? He wanted to turn everyone into lizards. Which is goofy in theory but was like… super stressful at the time.’ He tilts his head in thought. ‘I think the weirdest ones are always the animal themed guys. You know… Kangaroo, Panda-Mania-’

‘Spider-Man.’ Wade interrupts, barely containing his giggles. 

‘Shut up.’ Peter laughs, knocking his shoulder. ‘What about you? Weirdest thing you’ve fought?’

‘Normally its variations of myself from fucked up timelines.’ Wade explains casually. ‘The worst one is Evil Deadpool.’ 

‘...That’s his name? Evil Deadpool?’

‘Yyyyup. So this doctor from England is like obsessed with me. She started collecting body parts that I’d left lying around and Frankensteined them all together.’ 

‘That’s…. Horrifying. And it worked? She got the body parts conscious?’ 

‘My healing factor is insane. It can fix basically anything.’ 

‘I have… so many questions about how that works.’ 

Wade laughs. ‘I’m afraid I don’t have many answers other than what I've worked out from trial and error.’ 

‘Huh… I don’t know if I could fight a Frankenstein version of myself.’ 

‘Just pray you never have to.’ Wade says solemnly, patting a hand on Peter’s shoulder. 

They eventually make it to Wade’s apartment building. As they climb the stairs, an overweight man wearing glasses and a dark blue cap nods as he passes them. He pauses briefly to pet Lucky. ‘Heya Wade. Are you coming up for the BBQ tonight?’ 

‘No can do Grills. Got a date with my boy and a period drama.’  

Peter blushes slightly at the implications of his night with Wade being called a “date”. Even if Wade is joking. 

‘Shame. Let me know when you’re next bringing Ellie up. I’ll make sure we have some of that cake she liked.’

‘You’re a saint Grills. See ya on the flip side.’ He waves the man off as he walks Peter down the hall to his apartment. 

Peter considers asking who Ellie is. But figures that maybe that's a bit too personal? He wouldn’t want to come across as jealous. 

Not that he’s jealous.

Well… maybe a little. 

He shakes the thoughts off as Wade ushers Peter into the apartment and onto the couch. Wade starts to collect every blanket he can find and Peter is quickly covered in an array of brightly coloured cartoon blankets. He grabs the captain america blanket just before it hits him in the face. ‘What’s all this for?’ 

‘Blanket fort. Duh.’ Wade grins as he starts to hang blankets over the sofa. ‘Crucial to any big night in. I-’ Wade pauses as the phone in his pocket starts to ring. ‘Hold that thought.’ Wade escapes into the bedroom to take the call. 

Peter only has a moment to himself before his own phone starts to ring. He frowns as he reaches for it. Normally the only calls he gets are scammers or JJ Jameson ranting about his latest photos. With a sigh, Peter checks the called ID and his heart skips a beat. 

M.J.

Peter fumbles to answer, almost hitting the reject button in his panic. ‘Um…hi?’ He stammers, suddenly forgetting how to answer the phone like a functioning human. 

‘Peter, hey.’ She says, her voice filled with her usual sweet optimism. 

‘Hi…’ He cringes. ‘I said that already.’ 

‘You did.’ She chuckles. ‘How have you been Pete?’ 

‘Uhhh, same as always I guess? Got a new job working at Jack’s bar?’ 

‘Oh. Isn’t his place a bit… I don’t know how to say it without being rude.’

Peter laughs. ‘It’s fine, you’re right. But it’s a good job. What about you? How's LA?’ 

‘Very sunny. But I’ll actually be back home soon.’

‘Yeah, Eddie mentioned something about a broadway gig?’ 

‘That's right. It’s all pretty hush-hush at the minute but I’m super excited.’ She pauses, her voice more hesitant. ‘I was actually thinking of visiting Harry on my trip up. If you want to come with me? I think it would be a bit weird to go alone…’

Peter smiles sadly to himself. ‘Of course MJ. Let me know when you’re going, I’ll make sure I’m there.’ 

‘Thanks Pete. I knew I could count on you. Oh, I have to go. I’ll text you when I know what day I’m heading back!’ She says, as if she texts him all the time. 

‘No problem MJ. I’ll see you then.’ He sighs to himself as he hangs up, unsure how to feel about MJ’s imminent return to New York. 

Before he has a chance to dwell on it for too long. Wade opens the bedroom door, redressed in his Deadpool suit. ‘Sorry Webs. I know I promised a movie night, but I really gotta run. Family problems.’ He explains vaguely. ‘But you’re absolutely staying here. I’m not having Oscorp kidnap your pretty little butt while I’m away.’ He hands Peter a credit card and a set of keys. ‘Buy any food you need. A girl called Kate will be here tomorrow to pick up the doggo. Sorry again, gotta run.’ He says, escaping through the door before Peter can get a word in. 

Peter looks at Lucky who barks happily. 

‘...You want to watch Great British Bake Off with me?’ He asks the dog who hops onto the couch, lying across Peter's lap. ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’ He laughs, reaching for the remote and settling into his newly solo night off, trying not to worry too much about whatever it is that’s pulled Wade away.

***

A few hours and a pizza delivery later, Peter starts to get restless. After checking that Lucky is happily asleep on the mountain of blankets, Peter slips out of Wade's apartment and heads to his own to grab his suit so he can spend the rest of his night patrolling New York. 

He returns in the early hours of the morning. As he slips through the window, he hears a loud knocking on the door.

‘Wade, come on!’ A woman calls through from the hallway. ‘I have to be at the tower in like…twenty minutes. I’m so late.’ She huffs. Before Peter has a chance to pull his suit off, he hears the jingle of keys and the door is soon thrown open. 

‘....Hi.’ He waves at the dark haired woman, dressed in an fashionable purple outfit. 

‘...You’re not Deadpool.’

‘I am not.’ He grimaces under the mask. ‘I’m Spider-Man.’

‘Hi Spider-Man. I’m Hawkeye.’ She tells him, an amused smile on her lips. 

‘...You’re looking different to the last time I saw you.’ 

She laughs. ‘We’re both Hawkeye. Obviously I’m the superior model. Wade didn’t tell you about me?’ 

‘...Oh! Kate?’ 

‘Yup. And I really am going to be late. So I’m just going to steal the dog and go okay?’ She whistles, smiling as Lucky instantly makes his way to her feet. ‘I’ll see you around Spider-Man.’ 

‘See you Superior-Hawkeye.’ 

She beams, attaching a purple lead onto the dog's collar before leaving. 

Once the door is closed, Peter pulls off his mask, stretches his sore muscles and reaches for his phone to find a new text from Wade.

You haven’t been kidnapped yet rght?

Peter laughs, falling onto the couch to type out his answer. 

Nope. You proud of me?

Incredibly. Yr doing amazing Sweetie!

Everything good with you? 

Might be gone a few days :( Dn’t watch Bridgerton without me!

I’d never cheat on you like that!

;P 

Peter smiles as he puts his phone away. He takes some time to explore the apartment, he finds no pictures anywhere which is slightly disappointing. He’s eager to solve the mystery of who Ellie is but doesn’t want to straight up ask Wade about her. It would be even weirder now that the conversation had passed. He tries to push the thoughts of the mystery woman out of his head as he goes about the rest of his day.

Chapter Text

Peter’s week without Wade goes by without much incident. He spends his early evenings working at Sister Margaret's before doing a few hours of patrol. He crashes on Wade’s couch, sleeping through most of the morning. And spends his days off binge watching TV or taking selfies for the Daily Bugle. 

The most unusual part of his week is the fact that MJ has started texting him again. They text regularly as if they never stopped. She tells him all about her life in LA, her new friends and the movie she’s been working on. He doesn’t have much exciting to offer her in return but he tells her little bits about working for Weasel and volunteering at F.E.A.S.T. 

After a few days, MJ very tentatively volunteers the information that she’s in a relationship again for the first time since Harry. 

Is there anyone you’re seeing at the minute? 

Peter bites his lip. He considers lying, but he keeps enough from MJ as it is. 

No? I mean there's a guy I know from work that I like? But I’m not sure if it’s going to happen.

He sees the tick that shows MJ has read the message. She starts typing, but quickly deletes it. A second later there’s a call from her. 

Peter laughs as he answers. ‘Hey MJ.’

‘Heeyyyyyy Tiger.’ She replies, Peter can just imagine the wide grin on her face.

‘So it occurs to me that I never came out to you.’ 

‘You did not. I’ll try not to be terribly offended.’ 

 ‘In my defence, I figured it out like a year after you left. I’ve only ever told Aunt May.’

‘So youuuuu’re…’ She trails off.

‘Bi.’ 

‘Ah, that makes sense. It’s hard to imagine you not fawning over Gwen.’

They both pause as the conversation turns awkward. Peter remembers that this is a big part of why they stopped talking. With what happened to Gwen and Harry, it was hard to reminisce without dragging up painful memories.

‘So tell me about this guy.’ MJ pushes in an obvious attempt to distract from the awkward lull. 

‘It's probably not going to go anywhere.’ Peter sighs. ‘I’m staying at his place for a little bit, but he’s not even here. He had to leave because of family problems. And people in his building keep mentioning this woman called Ellie. He’s never mentioned her, but I get the vibe she’s his girlfriend or something.’

‘Have you tried just asking him?’

‘I have not.’ He replies simply.

‘You’re the king of self-sabotage. You know that?’

He laughs, rubbing his face with his free hand. ‘Yeah. I know…’ He frowns to himself as his phone starts to vibrate. ‘Oh, MJ, that’s him calling, I gotta go.’

‘Ask him out!’ 

‘I will not!’ Peter chuckles. ‘Goodbye MJ.’

‘Bye Tiger.’ She laughs at him before hanging up. 

‘Hey Wade. What’s up?’

‘Not much time.’ Wade responds blunty, he’s breathing heavily as if he’s running. ‘I need a favour. I’ll do anything to pay you back Petey, I could just really use a hand right now.’

‘What do you need?’ Peter asks, instinctively reaching for the backpack he keeps his suit in. 

‘I need to trace down the Wrecking Crew. Time sensitive. I just know they’re in New York somewhere.’

Peter juggles the phone in one hand while pulling on his suit with the other. ‘Wrecking Crew. Got it. I have a vague idea of where they tend to hang out.’ 

‘They should have a little girl with them. I can get back to New York in like two hours. But I just… I need her safe Webs.’ 

‘I’m on it Wade.’ Peter promises, jumping out of his window. ‘You should call Matt. He can probably hear the wrecking crew from across the city.’

‘Right. On it. Thanks!’ 

***

The Wrecking Crew is thankfully relatively easy to find. Peter finds them in an old bank that’s been cordoned off for demolition. He slips through a broken window and starts to sneak around. It's not long before Peter finds the group of four men sat around a table playing cards in a mouldy office. Piledriver swears as Wrecker scoops up the pile of cash. 

‘You’re cheating!’ He accuses bitterly, taking a long drink from the bottle of beer in his hands.

‘Prove it.’ Wrecker sneers, pocketing the cash. 

Piledriver flips the table angrily. ‘You're such a dick!’

Peter rolls his eyes and drops off the ceiling. ‘Alright, this seems fun. But I’ve got to break it up.’

‘It’s the Spider-Man!’ Bulldozer yells, jumping to his feet.

‘Outstanding observational skills, big guy.’ Peter gives him a thumbs up before webbing the weapon in his hands to stick it to the wall. He flips out of the way as Bulldozer tries to tackle him. ‘Love to stay and talk. But I’m kind of in a hurry. Where’s the girl?’ 

‘Not a chance, Spider.’ Wrecker sneers. ‘Tombstones offering a big payday if we keep the girl out of the way.’

Peter sizes the four men up, the entire group has enhanced strength and speed. They’re not a match for Peter's powers, but fighting four at once is always messy and time consuming. While Peter eyes up their new construction themed weaponry, the lights of the building are shut off, leaving them in total darkness.

‘What the fuck?’ Bulldozer hisses, tripping over a chair as he tries to find his weapon. 

Peter smiles to himself as he feels a man run past him, taking advantage of their confusion to knock the Wrecker into the wall. ‘Hey Daredevil. Good to see you. Or… not see you. You know?’ 

‘I can handle these goons.' Matts tells him, easily moving through the darkness. 'The girl is in one of the vaults. Go get her.’ 

‘I’m on it.’ Peter starts to run, his Spider sense alerting to Thunderball's wild swing moments before it collides. Peter ducks and slides across the floor to slip out of the way unnoticed. 

‘I got it, boss.’ Piledriver yells and Peter freezes as he hears the roar of a flame thrower. 

‘How is that a rational solution to the light problem?!’ Peter can't help but snap as the office is suddenly lit by rapidly spreading fire. 

‘I gotta agree with the Spider here.’ Wrecker yells, coughing as he tries to wave the smoke away from his face. 

Peter rolls his eyes and starts to run down the hallway, trusting that Daredevil can take care of the Crew. He sprints through the bank, finding a row of sealed bank vaults. ‘Hello?’ He yells, hoping for a quick solution over which vault the girl had been locked in. 

‘Go away!’ A small girl's voice yells from inside the central vault. ‘You’re mean and my dads going to kick your butts!’ 

Peter grabs the heavy metal door of the vault and pulls it towards himself, ripping it off its hinges. A small dark skinned girl is stood in the centre of the vault, she throws a mug at him with surprisingly impressive aim. Peter dodges at the last second and it smashes against the wall behind him. 

‘Hey, I’m-’ 

‘I know you!’ She yells, a bright grin crossing her face. ‘You’re Spider-Man! You’re my dad's friend!’

‘That’s me. I’m going to get you out of here okay?’ 

She nods with a fiercely determined expression that looks out of place on such a young face. 

Peter glances down the hallway at their escape route. ‘Alright, there’s a lot of smoke out there okay? So-’ He pulls the mask off his face. ‘I need you to put this on for me. It’ll filter out all of the smoke.’

‘What about you?’ 

‘I heal really quick. So the smoke won't be too bad for me.’

‘...You promise?’

‘I promise.’ Peter nods, slipping the mask over her head and tucking it into the neckline of her purple sweatshirt to make a seal. ‘You ready?’ 

‘Ready.’

Peter picks her up, holding tightly with one arm. ‘Then let’s get out of here.’ 

***

Fuck everything Spider-Man has taught him about taking non-lethal means of conflict resolution. Wade is absolutely going to kill someone. 

As he sprints towards the burning building, a fireman puts a hand out to stop him and for a moment he genuinely considers cutting the man's hand off.

Before he can pull out his katanas, Spider-Man jumps down in front of them with Ellie held tightly at his side. It takes Wade a moment to realise that Peter has his suit on but Ellie is wearing his mask. Peter's face is exposed to the crowd but mostly blackened by ash and soot. Peter falls to his knees, carefully setting Ellie down on the floor as he struggles to catch his breath. While Peter takes shallow breaths that turn into rasping coughs, Ellie wriggles free from his sticky grip and runs over to Wade. ‘Dad!’ 

‘Hey Ellie-Belly.’ Wade crouches down, scooping her into a hug. ‘You hurt?’ 

‘No! They tied me up but I got out real easy.’ 

‘That’s my girl.’ Wade gives her a quick pat down to verify that she’s uninjured before standing to check on Peter. He finds a group of firefighters and police forming a circle around Peter who has passed out on the sidewalk. 

‘Shit.’ Wade hisses, picking Ellie up and grabbing the shoulder of the first police officer. 

‘Hey, get back.’ The officer places a hand on his chest to push him back. 

Daredevil appears at Wade's side. ‘It’s alright Wade.’ He assures him in a tone that's entirely too calm as far as Wade is concerned. 

‘It’s alright?! He doesn’t have his mask!’

‘They’ve been talking about how to get him out of here without any of the reporters taking a photo.’

‘This isn’t the first time Spideys been caught like this.’ The officer tells him with a slightly amused smile. ‘We have this… unspoken rule. We keep him out of the public eye and get him covered up if we can. Honestly half of New York has probably seen a glimpse of him over the years. The man changes in alley-ways for god's sake. We just…’ She mimes zipping her lips.

‘We can take him from here.’ Matt tells them, leaving no room for argument as he pushes past to pick Peter up. ‘He’s struggling to breathe. We need to get him out of here and out of the costume.’ 

Wade nods. ‘My place is the closest.’ He moves Ellie to give her a piggyback. ‘Come on kiddo, let's go home.’

Chapter Text

When Peter wakes up, the first thing he notices is the weight on his chest. He’s vaguely reminded of the time the Vulture dropped a building on him and is hit by a sudden sense of dread as he remembers the smoke filled building he was trying to escape from. One of the support beams must have fallen and trapped him. He needs to get up and find the kid Wade had sent him to rescue.

His eyes flicker open and he’s met with the image of his own mask staring back at him.

Peter blinks in confusion.

As his vision focuses, he realises that the mask is being worn by a small girl in red and black dungarees.

‘...Hello tiny Spider-Man.’ Peter chuckles, wincing as his lungs struggle through the words. It’s almost like having asthma again.

‘I’m Spider-Girl!’ She replies excitedly. ‘Dad! He’s awake.’ She yells, rolling off Peter's chest and dropping to the floor. 

Peter forces himself to sit up, watching as the girl runs out of the room. He looks around to get his bearings, not terribly surprised that he’s woken up on Deadpool's couch again. Spider-Girl is certainly a surprise though. 

Wade walks through the door holding Spider-Girl's hand. He’s wearing casual clothes and no mask. Peter can’t stop the fit of laughter as he spots Wade's t-shirt. 

‘Where on earth…’ He pauses to take a breath as a coughing fit over takes his laughter. ‘Did you get “Team Red” t-shirts?’

Wade grins. ‘You like? I got some for you and Matty too.’ 

‘Can I be on Team Red?’ The little girl asks, tugging on Wade's hand. 

‘Hmmm. Let's see.’ Wade crouches down so that he’s eye level. ‘Are you wearing red?’ 

She looks down at her red and black dungarees. ‘Yes!’

Wade tilts his head in consideration. ‘Are you a little bad-ass?’ 

She puts her hands on her hips in a heroic pose. ‘I am!’ 

‘Are you… super cute?’ 

‘Yes!’ 

Wade laughs, scooping her up. ‘Well, you pass all the entry requirements. I’ll have to confer with the rest of the team though. So you’ll hear back in ten to twelve business days.’ He drops her onto an armchair and fetches a glass of water for Peter. ‘How you feeling Bambi?’ 

‘Been better. Been worse.’ Peter shrugs. He glances over at the masked girl. ‘Who’s…?’

Wade looks between them. ‘Ellie, did you not introduce yourself?’ He gasps dramatically. ‘What terrible etiquette.’ 

‘There was no time for etiquette!’ She complains. ‘The fire was more important.’ 

‘Smart. See this is the kind of problem solving that will get you on Team Red.’ 

‘Good to know we’re stuck with the name.’ Peter chuckles, sipping the water slowly. 

‘It’s basic branding.’ Wade shrugs. ‘So Peter Parker, meet Eleanor Camacho.’ 

‘Ellie.’ The little girl pouts. 

‘Yeah, don’t call her Eleanor. Makes her sound like a little old lady.’ 

‘I’m not an old lady.’ She pulls the mask off, throwing it at Wade who catches it and tosses it over to Peter. 

‘So how do you guys know each other?’ Peter asks, thoroughly confused by the whole night. 

‘You don’t see the family resemblance?’ Wade teases. 

Peter blinks, looking over at Ellie whose grin is almost identical to Wades. ‘....Oh. Oh!’ 

‘Ellie's momma is in the hospital thanks to Tombstone. So she’s going to stay here for a little while.’  Wade explains.

‘Oh, do you need me out of your hair?’ Peter moves to stand. 

Wade clamps a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back to the couch. ‘Nu-uh. 1. I don’t even have hair. And 2. You owe me a movie marathon. Now, Bridgerton may not be PG friendly. So we’re going to have to come up with a plan B. But I'm sure we can find something.’ 

‘You’re sure…?’

‘Stop acting like you’re a burden Pete. Plus if you go, you’ll disappoint the world's biggest Spider-Man fan.’ He pauses. ‘And Ellie.’ He adds, smiling at his own joke. 

‘Alright.’ Peter relents. ‘...blanket fort?’

‘Obviously!’ Wade beams. ‘Ellie, Code B.’ 

‘I got it!’ She leaps into action, running to Wade's bedroom to collect his blankets. 

Wade falls onto the sofa next to Peter. ‘I know it's a lot…’ He tells Peter in a hushed tone. ‘Normally, I drop in to visit her once a week. But her mom got herself in trouble with Tombstone. So he got the Wrecking Crew to kidnap Ellie to use as blackmail. Course he didn’t know she’s my kid too. Dumbass.’  

‘Is her mom going to be okay…?’ 

‘Yeah. She’s just a bit beat up. Don’t worry.’ Wade's expression darkens for a moment. ‘Tombstone is way worse off.’ 

‘That sucks… Is Ellie alright?’

‘She's a trooper.’ Wade stretches, his arm resting on the back of the sofa. ‘I’m sorry, I know that this isn’t exactly the romantic movie night I promised you. I’ll make it up to ya.’ 

Peter's brain stalls for a second. ‘...Romantic?’ He repeats.

‘Well yeah. I-’ Wade gets distracted as something crashes in his bedroom. 

‘I’m good!’ Ellie's voice calls out from the bedroom. 

‘...I don’t believe her. I’m gonna go check on her. Be right back.’

‘Yeah, yeah. I’m just gonna go take a quick shower.’ Peter nods, escaping to the bathroom. 

After a moment of panic, Peter grabs his phone to text MJ.  

I think I have a shot?!?!?

With your work friend? 

Yeah. He said he’s sorry we can't have a “romantic” movie night because his daughter is here

He said romantic?

HE SAID ROMANTIC!!!

Get it, Tiger

What do I do? 

Ask him out? 

...What if I imagined it? Or it was a joke? 

Peter. If you don’t ask him out. I’ll hunt him down and do it for you >:(

You’re a menace

Love you too! 

Peter laughs, putting his phone to one side to take a quick shower and wash away all of the soot that seems to have embedded itself in his skin. After five minutes, Peter hears the bathroom door be quickly opened and closed. He laughs when he spots the small pile of clothes on the counter. A “Team Red” shirt takes pride of place on the top of the stack. 

After spending a bit of time fixing his hair, Peter emerges from the bathroom. ‘Alright, I really wanted to hate this, but this is the comfiest shirt I’ve ever worn.’

‘Nothing but the best.’ Wade boasts, helping Ellie string fairy lights across their blanket fort. ‘Matt has all kinds of sensory problems with the super-senses. That's why his sheets are all silk.’ 

‘Oh, I thought that was just a rich lawyer thing.’

‘That man is not rich.’ Wade laughs. ‘But yeah, with his issues and my ever changing cast of tumours, I went maximum cosy; minimum seams and no tags.’ 

‘I’m never taking it off.’ 

‘Team Red.’ Wade beams, reaching across to fist bump Peter. 

Peter turns to look at the TV as the Fellowship of the Ring starts to play. ‘...Is Lord of the Rings PG?’ 

‘Absolutely not. But it’s her favourite, and at least none of the elves are banging.’ 

‘Spider-Man!’ Ellie calls from inside the blanket fort. ‘Come sit with me!’ 

‘You can call me Peter.’ He explains as he climbs in to sit inside the fort. 

‘Spider-Man sounds cooler though.’ She points out. 

‘Can’t argue with that.’ He laughs as he falls into the pile of pillows. Wade sets himself down on the other side of Ellie as they settle in to watch the film.

‘Is that… a Hawkeye bear?’ Peter asks as Ellie starts to cuddle a purple bear holding a felt bow and arrow. 

‘He’s the best Avenger.’ Ellie tells him solemnly. ‘He has a dog and he gives out full sized candy bars for Halloween.’ 

‘Ah, that is best Avenger material.’ 

‘It’s okay though. Spider-Man is still my second favourite superhero overall.’ 

‘Hawkeye’s the first?’

‘No, silly. Deadpool!’ She grins, shifting to lean against Wade who keeps his eyes fixed on the screen, an embarrassed smile on his face. 

‘Ah.’ Peter leans in to whisper to her conspiratorially. ‘He’s my favourite too.’

Chapter Text

Wade wasn’t sure how he’d expected Peter to take the news that he had a kid. Honestly, he hadn’t planned on telling the other man for a long time. The less people who knew he had a daughter, the safer Ellie was. And even if he didn’t have such a dangerous lifestyle, it wasn't fair to introduce small kids to people who might not stick around. Last thing he needed was for Ellie to get attached to someone who’ll get sick of him and leave. 

But as the early morning sunlight peeks through the window, illuminating their little blanket fort, Wade can't stop the warm smile on his face as he watches Peter and Ellie sleep peacefully. Ellie's head is resting on Wade's chest as she hugs her Hawkeye teddy bear, and her feet are draped across Peter's torso. 

It’s a perfect way to start the day and Wade has never been happier. So, of course, that’s when the intrusive voices start to kick up. 

[He’s not actually going to stay.] Yellow tells him bluntly as Wade watches Peter stretch in his sleep. [ He’s just here because you told him his place isn’t safe.]

[More importantly, what are you doing flirting with him when you have a daughter to look after?] White chips in. [ Carmelita’s in hospital. You’re the solo parent now.]

[Oof. We’re not exactly parent material. I mean, look at us.] Yellow sneers.

‘Will you just shut up.’ Wade hisses under his breath as his skin starts to itch. 

‘Wassat?’ Peter mumbles, his eyes slowly flickering open to look across at Wade. 

Wade manages to slowly tune the boxes critiques out. ‘...Your bed hair… is amazing.’ He tells Peter.

Peter pouts sleepily. ‘It’s too long. I need to cut it.’

‘Don’t you dare touch it.’ Wade tells him, keeping his voice low so they don't wake Ellie up. ‘It’s perfect.’ 

A small blush creeps over Peter's face. ‘Shuddup.’ 

‘So what's the plan today my busy little Spider?’ 

Peter hums in thought. ‘You think Ellie would like to make some cake?’

‘I’m sure the tiny child could be convinced to make sugar filled treats, yes.’ Wade chuckles. ‘What's the cake for?’ 

‘It’s my Uncle’s birthday. Me and Aunt May would always make his favourite cake. When she founded F.E.A.S.T, she started making enough for the shelter too. I couldn’t do it last year because I couldn’t get my hands on the ingredients… But I’m pretty sure you filled my apartment with everything we’d need.’ 

Wade blinks. ‘Of course we’ll help you out, Spidey.’ He tells Peter with a warm smile. He slowly movies Ellie to lie against the pillows, carefully not waking her. ‘Alright. I’ll go get coffee and the cake supplies. What kind of cake are we making?’

‘Red Velvet?’ Peter sits up, stretching as he yawns. 

‘Alright. I’m on it. You look after Sleeping Beauty.’ Wade pulls on his mask and gloves to cover up his skin. ‘Ciao Webs.’

The second Peter is alone with Ellie he realizes that he’s never been in charge of a child before. He’s an only child whose only experience hanging out with younger kids was the few times he’d had dinner with Gwen's family. Even then, none of Gwen's brothers were as young as Ellie. 

Before Peter can overthink the situation, a knock on the door jolts him from his thoughts. He quickly checks that Ellie is still sleeping before silently heading to the door. He opens it and slips through into the hallway, carefully closing it behind him. 

‘Sorry. Didn’t want to wake the…’ Peter freezes as he finally looks at the man who had knocked on the door. The blond is dressed in a one armed black outfit accented by purple. Most of the exposed skin is covered with white band-aids that cover a myriad of injuries. ‘...Clint?’

The Avenger frowns. ‘Do I know you?’ 

Peter’s half awake brain goes into overdrive. Of course Clint doesn’t recognize him. They’ve only hung out together on missions when Peter has been wearing his mask. ‘No. I’m just… Avenger fan.’ He offers, hoping his voice isn’t distinctive enough to give him away. 

‘... Must be quite the fan. I don’t get recognized often.’ Clint responds, arching an eyebrow. 

‘Ah-ha.’ Peter winces. ‘Um… can I help you or…?’ 

‘Is Wade home?’ 

‘Wade… Um, no? He’s getting coffee.’

‘Ah shit. I was hoping he’d look after Lucky for a few days.’

The door is pulled open and Ellie stands in the doorway with a bright grin on her face. ‘Lucky?!’ 

‘Hey El. Were you eavesdropping?’ Clint asks with an amused smile. 

‘Of course. Spying 101.’ Ellie tells him with a serious nod. 

‘Ah, of course.’ Clint nods. ‘I’ll be sure to tell Natasha that.’

‘We can look after Lucky. Right Peter?’ 

‘Oh, um. Of course.’ Peter nods, knowing that there's absolutely no way he’s going to be able to say no to Ellie. 

Clint whistles and Lucky comes bounding down the hallway, immediately rolling over in front of Ellie to get attention. 

‘I’ll be back in like three days.’ Clint tells him, passing Peter a purple lead. ‘Peter right?’

‘Yeah..?’ Peter deliberately tries to hold his tongue, the last thing he needs is to spill his secret identity in front of an Avenger. 

‘Cool. Nice to meet ya Pete. Tell Wade he’s late paying the rent? Thanks.’ Clint  leans down to high five Ellie before heading down the hallway. 

‘Bye Hawkguy!’ Ellie yells before ushering Lucky into the apartment. 

‘Hawkguy?’ Peter repeats with a confused expression. 

‘Grills calls him that. He hates it, it’s funny.’ Ellie shrugs. ‘Can we have ice cream for breakfast?’ 

‘Do you always have ice cream for breakfast?’ 

Ellie looks him dead in the eye. ‘Yes.’ 

‘How about we compromise and have pop-tarts?’ 

‘Deal.’ Ellie nods, running to the kitchen to dig through Wades cabinets. She pulls a chair over to stand on while she digs through the higher shelves. Peter quickly moves to stand behind her, ready to catch her in case she slips.

They make it through breakfast without any major accidents. Peter locates a box of chocolate pop tarts and Ellie happily tucks into her breakfast. She looks up as Wade returns, arms weighed down by a ridiculous amount of bags. 

‘Alright. I got all the cake mix I could find, as well as all of the ingredients that I think go into cakes. Also got a ton of sprinkles because sprinkles make everything better. Right Ellie?’

‘Right!’ Ellie confirms, pop tart crumbs flying out of her mouth as she talks. ‘What’s the cake for?’

‘It’s my Uncle's birthday today. So we’re going to make some cake if that’s okay?’

‘Do I get to see your Uncle?’

‘Oh, um… I’m afraid not. He died when I was in High School.’ 

Ellie stares at him with wide, confused eyes. ‘...How’s he going to eat the cake?’ 

Wade pulls his mask off and passes a takeaway cup filled with coffee over to Peter, giving him an apologetic smile. 

‘He can’t.’ Peter explains gently. ‘But we can share it around so everyone can enjoy it. You, me and your dad. And then we can take the rest to a homeless shelter. So it’ll make a lot of other people happy.’ 

Ellie takes a moment to process the information. ‘.. We should put extra sprinkles on those ones.’ She tells him seriously. 

‘We can do that.’ He gives her a warm smile. ‘Oh Wade, I hope you don’t mind. We said we’d look after Lucky for a few days.’ 

‘I wondered about wonder-mutt over there.’ Wade chuckles, leaning over to look at the dog napping in their blanket fort. 

‘Hawkeye also said you owe him rent?’

Wade pouts. ‘I left him a treasure map with the location of where I buried the rent money. It's not my fault he’s too boring to do the hunt.’ 

‘Why would you be paying an Avenger rent?’ Peter prompts, feeling like he’s missing a vital part of the context of the whole situation. 

‘...Because he owns the building?’ Wade offers as if it was obvious as he unpacks his baking supplies. 

‘...Hawkeye owns this building?’ 

‘Yyyyup.’ Wade confirms. ‘Something about buying it from the Tracksuit Mafia a few years ago.’ Wade waves a hand dismissively. ‘None of the other Avengers know though, so-’ He mimes zipping his lips. 

‘How did you end up being Hawkeye's tenant?’ 

Wade shrugs a shoulder, digging through his cabinets for baking equipment. ‘When I came back to New York for the Spider-gig, I knew he had a building so asked if he had a place I could rent. Pretty boring.’

‘Wait, you came to New York just for JJ’s unmasking Spider-Man job?’

‘Yup. And I did it. Go me!’ 

‘You did not.’ Peter points out.

Wade looks at him up and down. ‘Here you are, unmasked. I win.’ 

‘Don’t think it counts until you tell JJ.’ 

Wade wrinkles his nose and Peter laughs, he loves how much more expressive Wade is when the mask isn’t covering his face. 

‘Ew, I hate that guy. Absolutely not. Speaking of though, the Daily B posted some Spider-Man pics last night.’ 

‘They what?!’ Peter grabs his phone, pulling up the Bugles homepage. The headline “Menace Vigilante sets bank on fire!” fills most of the page, accompanied by blurry pictures of Peter dropping out of the window with Ellie at his side. He frowns as the words “child endangerment” catches his eye. He doesn’t have his mask on in the photo, but it’s too blurry to make out any details. There’s no way anyone could tell what Peter looks like based on the pictures. Which means… Yep. Peter's eyes flick up to his notifications bar and he counts over thirty notifications. He’s willing to bet that they're all from JJ complaining that he wasn’t on the scene to get proper photographs. ‘See, this is why they pay me the good money for my photos.’ 

Wade raises an eyebrow. ‘The good money?’

‘...The okay-ish money.’ Peter shrugs. ‘Luckily I tend to move fast enough that all the pictures people get of me are blurry. Oh! Actually, I have a new assignment if you’re up for it? JJ wants some pictures of Spidey and DP together being menaces.’ 

Wade's eyes light up. ‘Photo shoot? Oh, I’m absolutely in.’ 

Peter relaxes. ‘Thanks Wade.’ He chuckles to himself as Wade wraps a “kiss the cook” apron around his waist.

Wade winks at him before spinning to face Ellie. ‘Alright! You know how to make a cake?’

‘I do not.’ She tells him as she scrapes her curly hair back with a ribbon. 

‘Fantastic! Bambi?’ 

‘This is like… the one thing I can make.’ He laughs. ‘Years of trial and error.’ 

‘Excellent. You get to be head chef.’ Wade drops a bag of flour on the counter, the bag splits open and everything is instantly coated in a cloud of white powder. Peter blinks through the flour, desperately trying not to laugh as Wade looks at the counter in sheer horror. Ellie starts to giggle and that sets Peter off laughing. Wade wipes the flour off his face and joins in. ‘See, this is why I’m not head chef.’ 

‘Alright.’ Peter rolls his sleeves up. ‘Now that everything is sufficiently flour coated, we can make a start.’ 

They work easily as a team, Peter guiding them through the steps while Wade helps Ellie measure the ingredients. Hours later, the kitchen is an absolute mess but the counter is lined with cake tins filled with red velvet goodness. Wade lifts Ellie so she can apply a generous helping of sprinkles to the icing. 

‘What was Uncle Ben like?’ Ellie asks as Peter checks which cakes are cool enough to be packed into bags. 

‘Well…’ Peter's head tilts as he thinks. ‘He was really smart. Most of my family were scientists, except for my Aunt May. But she was smart in other ways. She worked for charity organisations all her life. She even founded the shelter we’ll be going to.’

‘Do I get to meet her at least?’ 

‘Sorry Ellie. She passed away too. It's just me now.’ 

‘Oh… my dad dies sometimes. But he always comes back.’ 

Peter looks over at Wade quizzically. 

‘I told you. My healing factor is dialed up to a hundred.’ Wade gloats. 

‘Huh…’ Peter nods, deep in thought. While he’s thinking of the ramifications of Wade’s supposed immortality Wade reaches over to brush icing on his nose. ‘Hey!’ Peter wrinkles his nose, rubbing the icing off. ‘That's weird…’

‘What's weird?’

‘Normally my spider sense would go off before anyone gets in my personal space.’

‘... Please tell me everything there is to know about “spider sense”.’

‘Does that mean you know how many spiders are nearby?’ Ellie asks, scooping up leftover sprinkles from the counter to pop into her mouth. 

‘What?’

‘Answer the question Petey.’ 

‘Can you talk to the spiders?’ Ellie continues in a tone suggesting that she has a thousand more questions.

‘No I can’t talk to spiders.’ Peter tells her, chuckling when she pouts. ‘And Spider-Sense is like… an early warning system I guess? If someone wants to hurt me it … screams? That's probably the best way to put it. When it does that, I know to get out of the way. Normally, if someone is about to get into my personal space and I haven’t noticed them it's like… a low level hum.’

‘But it didn’t work on me?’

‘It didn’t.’

A slow grin spreads on Wade's face. ‘I promise only to use this power to annoy.’ He declares, lunging at Peter with more icing. 

Peter sees him coming this time and ducks, he slides across the kitchen floor past Wade and jumps up to stand next to Ellie. 

‘Cheater.’ Wade pouts, licking the icing from his thumb instead.

‘You’re ridiculous.’ Peter chuckles, trying to shake the rest of the flour out of his hair. ‘I’m going to go have a shower before we head off to F.E.A.S.T. Be right back.’ 

Once he slips out of the room, Ellie reaches for one of the mini red velvet cupcakes. ‘I like him.’ She tells Wade as she pops the treat into her mouth. 

‘That right?’ Wade responds, trying not to smile like a dope.

‘He’s weird. But that’s a good thing. Is he your boyfriend?’

Wade sighs. ‘No, he is not.’ 

‘Why not?’

‘You’re a menace.’ Wade replies, prodding her in the ribs as she reaches for another cake. ‘Come on, let's find you some clean clothes.’

Chapter Text

Ellie reaches to hold Peter's hand as they walk into F.E.A.S.T. ‘I don’t have to go to school while my mami is away. But I still have to do my homework. Will you help me? Dad gets mad when he tries to help.’

‘They changed math!’ Deadpool complains loudly as he falls into step with them. ‘Why would they do that?’

‘See?’ Ellie looks up at Peter with an unimpressed face. 

Peter chuckles. ‘Of course I’ll help you.’ He promises, smiling warmly as Ellie beams back up at him. 

After leading them into the kitchen of the shelter, Peter starts unpacking all of the boxes filled with cake. 

‘Peter!’ A pale woman with frizzy black hair greets them. ‘I wasn’t sure if you’d be coming today. I know it's… you know.’ She trails off, obviously too awkward to say it out loud. 

‘Wouldn’t miss it.’ Peter assures her. ‘Izzy, meet Wade and Ellie. Guys, Izzy is the manager here.’ 

‘Oh! Hi!’ She grins. ‘I’m so glad you’re here. I was working on new cookie designs for the people Spider-Man sends over. Take a look!’ 

She pulls the tin foil off a long tray filled with carefully iced cookies. Most show Spider-Man's mask. But a handful of cookies have a slightly different mask design. 

‘Dad cookies!’ Ellie squeaks excitedly. 

Wade's head tilts as he leans over her to look at the tray. ‘No way.’

‘I figured since we had other superheros volunteering here, you should be represented in cookie form too.’ Izzy tells him, looking slightly embarrassed as the trio stare at her work. 

Peter pulls his phone out to take a picture of a Deadpool cookie sitting next to a Spider-Man one. 

‘Do you think Spider-Man will mind?’ Izzy asks Peter who just shakes his head. 

‘He’s gonna love them.’ 

Wade sniffs. ‘I’m not crying.’ He tells them defensively. ‘I’m reacting in a completely normal and manly way.’ 

Peter pats his arm. ‘The manliest.’ 

After they taste-test the new cookies, the trio take the cakes out to share around. Ellie very excitedly tells everyone that it’s ‘Uncle Ben’s birthday cake’ without any other context. 

‘Thanks for helping.’ Peter quietly says to Wade as they watch Ellie run about the shelter offering cake to everyone. ‘It’s kind of … depressing. Doing this on my own now Aunt May’s gone. It’s good to have some company.’ 

‘Well, anytime you need some kitchen assistants, you know where to find us.’ Wade tells him, wrapping an arm around Peter’s shoulders. ‘I’m glad you weren’t alone this year.’ 

Peter pauses, taking a deep breath as he’s hit with a sudden wave of confidence after such a perfect day. ‘Hey, this is probably a weird time to ask but… would you want to go on a date sometime? … With me?... If that wasn’t obvious?’

Wade turns to look at him and Peter curses internally as he realises the man's face is covered by his mask so he has no hope of reading Wade’s expressions. 

He can feel his face go bright red. ‘I’m sorry. It’s a stupid idea! I may have misread some signals. You don’t have to-’ 

Wade cuts him off by covering Peter’s rambling mouth with a gloved hand. ‘Give me a second to answer first Bambi. Damn.’

‘Sorry.’ Peter mumbles through Wade’s hand, avoiding eye contact. 

Wade moves his hand from Peter's mouth, resting it against his cheek instead. ‘Peter Parker. I would be honoured to go on a date with you.’ 

‘You… you would?’ Peter asks him in disbelief, he honestly hadn’t thought this far ahead.

‘Of course. We should probably wait until Ellie is back home with her mom though… If that’s alright?’ 

‘Oh! Yeah! Absolutely.’ Peter nods frantically. ‘Good idea.’ 

Wade presses a masked kiss against Peter's cheek just before Ellie runs over. The men take a rather unsubtle step away from each other.

‘Everyone has had some cake!’ She declares excitedly. 

‘Alright.’ Peter gives her a high five. ‘I have a box left over for Nelson and Murdock, one for blind Al, and then the rest can go to people at Sister Margaret's I guess.’ He looks over to Wade. ‘I’ll drop them off while I do some patrol. Then come back after my shift at the bar?’

‘Sounds like a plan.’ Wade nods as he picks Ellie up. 

‘Alright, um.’ Peter flushes, suddenly awkward as he overthinks the promise of a date. ‘I’ll see you later then.’ He waves, walking into a wall as he heads to the door. ‘I’m okay!’ He assures them before making a quick exit. 

***

Peter makes his cake deliveries quick, doing his best to ignore the pitiful expressions that cross peoples faces when he explains why he has so much cake to share around. He knows baking is a strange way to process grief, but it’s always worked before thanks to May. She always told him that it worked so well for her because it kept her mind and hands busy while she cooked, and the joy of sharing their creation with loved ones helped to counterbalance the grief of mourning. 

Before Peter moves on to start his patrol for the night, he stops by the cemetery. The place is abandoned so it's eerily quiet as he slowly makes his way up the hill, illuminated by the setting sun.

 His eyes flick to Gwen's headstone as he passes and he smiles to himself as he spots the fresh flowers leaning against it. Her family has always kept her resting place spotless. Peter makes a mental note to get some flowers for Gwen and May next time he passes a florist. 

Humming an old song Ben used to sing, Peter heads to Ben’s headstone. He crouches down and uses the sleeve of his jacket to clear away the dirt covering his name. ‘Hey Uncle Ben. Happy Birthday.’ He smiles sadly to himself as he stands, brushing the dirt from his clothes. ‘I really miss you…’ 

The hairs on the back of Peter's neck tingle as someone walks up behind him. He frowns to himself as the sound of footsteps stall a few feet behind him. Peter takes one more look at Ben's grave before turning away to see what the person behind him is after. It was getting quite late, they were probably about to lock up the cemetery. 

‘Look man, I’m heading out. I-’ He freezes as his eyes fall on the man. Peter has seen that face a thousand times in the few photos he had growing up. The man's hair is grey and more wrinkles grace his face. But it’s unmistakable. 

‘Peter.’ Richard Parker says, his voice jarringly calm. ‘I don’t want to frighten you…’ He says, lifting his hands slightly to show that they’re empty. He takes a slow step forward but Peter just holds his hand out. 

‘Stay right there. Don’t move.’ He warns as his heart pounds in his chest. 

‘I know this is impossible to understand Peter. I thought I knew what to say, but I don’t. I don’t know what to say to you. Except; I’m sorry.’ His eyes are fixed on Peter’s. ‘It’s me Peter. And all I can say is I’m sorry.’ 

Peter scowls. ‘You’re not my father.’

‘I am y-’ 

Peter cuts him off. ‘This is some… illusion or… or a disguise.’ His hands clench into fists as he thinks of Mysterio’s illusions and the Chameleons shape shifting abilities. ‘You can’t be my father.’ He says, hating the way his voice shakes and his hands tremble. ‘My father is dead.’ He tells the man, getting louder with every word. ‘He’s dead! Who are you?!’ 

‘I had to disappear and I’m sorry for that.’ Richard tells him, slowly stepping closer. ‘I had to disappear to keep you safe.’ 

‘To keep me safe?!’ Peter laughs bitterly, stepping in to grab the man's shoulders. ‘What?! Where’ve you been?!’ 

‘I had to die to keep you alive Peter.’ Richard tells him, gently resting a hand on Peter's arm. ‘I had to keep you safe. It was the only way.’ His hand slips around the back of Peter's neck to tug him closer. ‘Listen to me, I had to disappear to keep Osbourne from hurting you. Do you understand what I’m saying? There was no other way to keep you safe.’ 

Peter clings desperately to the man's jacket, tears rolling down his cheeks. Richard rests his forehead against Peters. ‘It’s me Peter.’ 

Peter gives up any pretence of holding it together and pulls his father in for a tight hug. Richard strokes his hair as he cries. ‘I’m sorry Peter.’ 

His Spider-sense suddenly screams at him, but before Peter has the chance to pull away he feels a needle slide its way into his neck. ‘I’m so sorry Peter.’ Richard repeats, his voice muted as Peter's eyes slip shut. 

***

Weasel swears as he grabs his phone. ‘Will you guys shut up for like five minutes?!’ He yells to the room full of rowdy mercenaries, he huffs as they pay him no attention and dials Wade's number. 

‘City Morgue. You stab ‘em, we slab ‘em.’ A familiar voice greets him.

Weasel rolls his eyes. ‘Hilarious. Is Bambi with you?’ 

‘Nope.’ Wade replies, drawing the word out and popping the P. ‘You lost him?’

‘Well he hasn’t turned up to work. He was supposed to be here about three hours ago.’

Wade pauses, Weasel can hear the change in tone as he switches to serious-Wade. ‘Maybe he’s too busy being the important hero type… I’ll call around. See if I can find him.’

‘You going to cover his shift in the meantime?’

Wade fakes the sounds of static. ‘Can't- … hear…. Tunnel… Bye Weas!’ 

Weasel is patient for all of ten minutes before he snaps. ‘Alright thugs listen up! Bambi is MIA. Anyone who has any news on him gets free drinks for a  month.’

The bar is quickly emptied as the mercenaries leap at the chance to have their drinks paid for.

Dopinder blinks, looking around at the suddenly empty room. ‘Should I lock up…? 

Weasel sighs. ‘Yeah, might as well.’ 

*** 

Across the city, Wade almost breaks the phone as he hangs up. He takes a deep breath to calm himself before trying Peter's number. After the fifth unsuccessful attempt, he goes to the living room where Ellie is colouring a picture of unicorns. 

‘Hey kiddo, how’d you like to stay with Simone and her kids for the night?’ 

Ellie looks at him, recognising the tense expression on his face. ‘Okay.’ She nods, scooping her colouring books and crayons into her Spider-Man backpack and grabbing a lead for Lucky. ‘I’m ready.’ 

Wade gives her a grateful smile, kissing the top of her head. ‘That’s my girl.’ 

Wade drops Ellie and Lucky off with the neighbour and returns to his own apartment to suit up. He loads up with every weapon he can reasonably carry and sets out to wreak havoc on New York until he finds Peter.

Chapter Text

A ringing tone echoes through Peter's head as he comes back to consciousness. His hands twitch to cover his ears but tight metal bands restrict his movement. Groaning with the effort, Peter slowly opens his eyes.

Bright fluorescent light blinds him for a moment and once his eyes adjust Peter finds himself in a clinically white room filled with hospital equipment. A monitor picks up his heart rate starting to speed up as he comes to consciousness fully. 

‘You wake up fast.’ A voice notes, sounding begrudgingly impressed. ‘We’ll have to double your dosage if we want to knock you out again.’

Peter squirms in the metal chair he’s been tied to, twisting to find the source of the voice. A slim blonde woman in a spotless lab coat is typing away at a computer. 

The incessant warning from his spider-sense is driving Peter crazy. He wishes it was something he could just turn off. He doesn’t need a sixth sense to know that this is a dangerous situation. It’s painfully obvious. 

‘If I had a dollar for every time I woke up somewhere strange.’ Peter huffs. ‘I suppose this is where you wax poetic and tell me all about your dastardly plan, huh?’

‘What?’ She looks up from her work, staring at him quizzically. ‘Oh, no. I’m far too busy for monologuing. Besides, why would you need to know what I’m doing? You’re just the test subject.’ She stands, rolling her sleeves up. If Peter squints he can make out the name Dr. Potter on her name tag. 

‘Can you at least tell me where my dad is?’

Dr Potter walks over to him, testing the arm restraints. ‘Parker? I doubt they’ve kept him alive. I believe he’s outlived his usefulness now that we have you. Honestly, good riddance.’ She tuts. ‘He was on the run for so long it was like Christmas when we finally brought him in. But after months of experiments we still had no results. It was exhausting. I can’t tell you how many all nighters I pulled. Eventually, he let slip that you had bonded with the serum. You have no idea how excited I’ve been to get my hands on you Peter Parker.’ 

‘You couldn’t have found a less creepy way to phrase that?’ 

She pulls over a tray of invasive looking medical equipment. ‘Now, I could give you platitudes about how this will only hurt a bit, you’ll just feel a slight pinch. But we both know I’d be lying. So I’m not going to bother.’ 

Peter rolls his eyes, wincing as the action makes his head swim and his vision blur. He looks down at his arm, surprised to find himself shirtless. An IV is stuck into his forearm, steadily pumping god knows what drug into his veins. ‘You know your bedside manner is terrible.’

Dr Potter smirks, tying her hair up into a sleek ponytail. ‘I’m not that kind of Doctor.’ She pulls on a pair of blue latex gloves, snapping them against her wrists. 

‘Could you at least give me my shirt back? It’s freezing in here.’ 

‘You talk too much.’

‘You know, I get that a lot.’ Peter scowls, struggling uselessly as she slips another needle into his neck.  

‘I’d prefer to work in silence if you don’t mind. I think it’ll be best for the both of us if we put you back under. Try not to wake up prematurely this time.’

‘Fuck you.’ Peter manages to spit out as the world turns black. 

***

As they give Sister Margaret's a well overdue deep clean, Weasel and Dopinder keep an ear out for any Peter related news. They get their first hint of what might have happened to the man when Domino strides through the door. 

‘Wade said you were looking for someone. I took a shortcut through a cemetery and found this.’ She tells him, dropping a dirty backpack on the bar. ‘The ID in the wallet says Peter Parker. I’m going to go back out and see what else I can find. Wade sounded pretty freaked out on the phone.’ 

‘Yeah, Peter is his man crush of the month.’ Weasel sighs, grabbing the backpack. ‘Thank you Domino Ex Machina.’ He says only semi-sarcastically and waves as she heads back out of the door. 

Weasel unceremoniously dumps the contents of Peter's backpack out, spreading it across the bar. He finds the expected wallet, snack food and a half drunk bottle of water. As well as a surprising amount of what looks to be homemade cake.

Hoping to find other clues about where Peter might have ended up, Weasel goes to turn the bag inside out to ensure that he’s gotten everything. As he grabs the interior lining, he finds a hidden zip. ‘...That’s weird.’ 

Curiosity piqued, Weasel pulls at the zipper and watches in astonishment as a red and blue lycra suit falls out, the lenses of the headpiece clattering against the wood of his bar. 

‘Is that what I think it is…?’ Dopinder asks, eyes wide in shock. 

‘...Ah.’ Weasel says quietly. ‘That makes sense.’ 

***

Dr Potter lines up the vials of blood she’s pulled from her unconscious subject, ready to send them off for various rounds of testing. The scientist makes a few notes before grabbing a thermometer to test the man's temperature. 

‘You really are freezing aren’t you? Your lips are turning blue.’ She notes, jotting it down on her clipboard. 

‘I’ve been told you had your dose of the serum during the spider trials. Did you inherit your vulnerability to cold from the spider?’ She muses aloud. ‘They’re terrible for thermo-regulation.’ 

She chuckles to herself. ‘If you develop any more spider traits, you might give Spider-Man a run for his money.’

The doctor freezes, eyes snapping to the unconscious man as she connects the dots. ‘...Oh.’ 

***

Wade wastes no time heading to the Oscorp building. Given Oscorp's recent decision to track down the son of their ex-lead scientist Richard Parker it feels like the only place Peter could be. 

‘Last time I hunted down scientists with a mutant experimentation fetish, I left no survivors.’ Wade hisses as he stalks down the sideways, pushing past anyone who dares stand in his way. 

‘Things will be different this time.’ Matt tells him forcefully. ‘We can do this non-lethally.’ 

‘Sure we can.’ Wade rolls his eyes under his mask. ‘But I’m not exactly inclined to given the circumstances.’ 

Matt grabs Wade's shoulder. ‘I can’t let you cross that line. Not if we’re going to do this together.’ 

‘Daredevil-’ Wade’s hands clench, readying for a fight. 

‘This is about Peter. How do you think he’ll react when he finds out you killed people to save him?’

Wade pauses.

‘He’ll blame himself.’ Matt continues and Wade can just imagine it; Peter's tear filled Bambi eyes as he hears the news and his apology for the audacity of being taken against his will by an ominous corporation. 

Wade lets out a defeated sigh. ‘You’re right. Okay. Maximum effort, minimum murder. Got it.’

Chapter Text

It’s almost midnight by the time Matt and Wade reach Oscorp. The towering building is ominously quiet but a pair of security guards can be seen patrolling around the entrance lobby. 

‘Could shoot ‘em from here.’ Wade grumbles. ‘They’d never see it coming.’ 

He doesn't need super hearing to detect the disappointment in Matt’s voice. ‘They’re just hired security. They probably have no idea what’s going on.’ 

‘Or they’re in on it. Places like this always need muscle to get their human sacrifices in and out.’

‘Let's just focus on getting Peter out of here. We can determine who’s guilty or innocent with the court case.’ 

Wade is practically vibrating with anger but follows Matt along the side of the building to look for alternative entry ways. Unsurprisingly, a full circuit of the building reveals no weaknesses. Wade stares up at an open window a few floors up, wishing he had Spidey’s web shooters or Goblins hoverboard. 

‘Front door it is.’ Wade shrugs, loading his gun. 

‘Let me handle this. We may be able to reason with them.’

Wade looks at the masked man in devil horns and considers the dried blood on his own suit. ‘...Yeah sure, you go reason with them. Good luck with that.’ 

Pushing the door open, the armoured devil strides through the Oscorp foyer. ‘Gentlemen, I’m looking for-’ 

‘Hands in the air!’ The man behind the security desk yells, pulling out a gun to train on Matt's chest. 

A younger guard runs up, blocking their path to the elevators. He points his own gun at Wade.

Matt tilts his head, turning to the younger man. ‘You might want to steady your hand.’ He tells him. ‘If you shake any more, you may-’ 

A shot goes off, Wade hisses as a bullet goes through his shin.

‘...Misfire.’ Matt finishes. 

‘Don’t worry kiddo.’ Wade grits his teeth, hissing through the pain. ‘Premature firing is very common in men your age.’ Wade tells him, grabbing his own gun and firing both of the men in the kneecaps. 

‘Wade.’ Matt snaps. 

‘They literally fired first.’ Wade rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t worry, they’ll live.’ Ignoring the way the men howl in pain, Wade slams his foot against the chest of the older man, pinning him to the ground. ‘We’re looking for someone. Slim, brunette, ass that wont quit. Ring any bells?’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ He yelps as Wade pushes down with foot. He hears something snap but isn’t terribly concerned about which part of the man's body he’s broken. ‘Really! We just watch the door!’ 

‘Quiet.’ Matt hisses, his head titled as he listens. ‘Peter’s on the fifth floor. His heart rate is slow, he must have been drugged. There's a woman in there with him.’ He tells Wade as he heads towards the stairwell. ‘Let’s go.’

Wade kicks the guard once more for good measure and sprints to the stairs.

As they climb, a screeching alarm rings through the building, causing Matt to curse and cover his ears. 

‘Come on DD.’ Wade pulls him forward as they reach the fifth floor. ‘Which door?’ 

Matt manages to shake off his disorientation, pointing to a door at the end of the hall. 

Wade sprints ahead and kicks at the door, knocking it off its hinges. He finds an unconscious and shirtless Peter strapped to a metal chair in the middle of the room. Wade instantly points his gun at the only other person in the room; a blonde in a lab coat who’s tipping out vials of blood into a small metal sink.

‘I wouldn’t do that if I was you.’ She tells him calmly as she smashes the glass vials into the sink and turns on the faucet to wash away the remnants of blood. 

‘What are you doing there Doc?’ 

‘Well, I was taking his blood so that Oscorp could develop a stabilised version of the super serum.’ 

‘But you just got rid of all of the blood.’ Wade points out. ‘Bit counter productive.’ 

She turns to face him, taking off her blue latex gloves. ‘You ever have one of those moments where your life gets put into perspective and you realise you’re on the wrong side of a fight.’ 

Wade laughs bitterly. ‘Oh yeah. Preaching to the choir here.’ 

‘I realised the alter ego of my spider mutate test subject.’ She says, looking over at Peter for the first time. ‘I’m a big Spider-Man fan.’ She takes a fortifying breath. ‘I believe in the work that Oscorp is doing. The work that I’m doing. But if it means taking Spider-Man out of commission… I’m re-evaluating my life plan I suppose.’ 

‘Yeah, he has that effect on people.’ 

The doctor steps closer to Peter and Wade taps his gun. ‘You stay away from him.’ 

‘I’m just going to remove the IV.’ She tells Wade. She walks slowly, telegraphing every step and gently slides the offending needle out of Peter’s forearm. 

‘The fuck did you do to him?’

‘We borrowed some of Hydras research notes.’ She informs him, her tone cold and clinical. ‘They’re rather well practised in the art of restraining super soldiers. Parker’s metabolism sped through our drug. Which is very interesting, if Oscorp could synthesise that serum they’d be unstoppable.’ 

‘Army of mutant super-slaves. Yeah, yeah. Been there, done that.’ 

Dr Potter takes off her lab coat to wrap it around Peter's shivering torso. ‘Can you carry him? The police will be here soon. We should get going.’ She tells Wade as she unlocks the restraints. 

‘Of course I can.’ Wade rolls his eyes, scooping Peter up to carry him over one shoulder. ‘Even got a hand free to shoot you if you try anything stupid.’ 

‘Good to know.’ She says with a small smile as she sets fire to a stack of her notes and tosses them into a trashcan. ‘We should get moving. With all the chemicals in here, that fire will spread quickly.’ 

The alarm continues to blare as they meet up with Daredevil and make their way down the halls. Before they get to the stairwell, a man with long gray hair blocks their way.

‘Stop right there.’ He says sternly, aiming a gun towards Wade. 

‘Arthur.’ Dr Potter holds her hands up. ‘We’re just escorting the test subject to safety.’

‘Cut the crap Bridget. I-’ He pauses as his eyes fall on Peter, unconscious in Wade's arms. ‘Is that… Peter Parker?’ He asks, staring at Peter as if he’s seen a ghost.

‘Are we more or less likely to get shot if it is?’ Wade asks, annoyed by the delay to their great escape. 

The man lowers his gun. ‘... Follow me. The police have all of the exits covered. But there’s a series of underground tunnels you can escape through though.’

‘We can deal with the police.’ Matt informs him. ‘They may not like vigilantes, but they’ll listen to us.’ 

‘Not these ones. Stromm has a special subsection of the police that he pays off to help protect his…’ The man's eyes flick to Peter. ‘... Projects.’

‘Why the fuck would I trust you?’ Wade's eyes narrow. 

The man doesn’t take his eyes off Peter. ‘That boy was important to someone dear to me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let him be hurt.’ 

‘He’s telling the truth.’ Matt leans in to whisper to Wade. 

‘And who, exactly, are you?’ Wade asks. 

‘Arthur Stacy, I’m the head of security.’ 

‘You’re doing an outstanding job Stacy.’ Wade huffs, pushing past the man. ‘Show me the tunnels.’ 

***

Wade knew the tunnels were a stupid idea. But he was in such a hurry to get Peter out of the building that he would have taken any suggestion. 

‘Why does Oscorp even have these creepy tunnels?’ He asks as the tunnel they’re in leads them into the New York sewer system. 

‘They were developed by the original owner of Oscorp.’ Arthur explains, lighting their way with a flashlight. ‘Norman Osborn would use these tunnels to appear across the city as the Green Goblin. Nowadays the current owner, Mendel Stromm, uses them to sneak his projects into the building.’ 

‘And you just keep quiet when he brings people in to be used as test subjects.’ Wade states, still weighing up whether or not he wants to kill the man. 

‘Normally when we have human test subjects they’re volunteers. And well paid for their time.’ Dr Potter tells them. 

‘You know, I was a volunteer too.’ Wade tells Matt, faking a conversational tone. ‘It’s amazing what they don’t put in the fine print.’ 

‘Most of Stromm’s work is in robotics.’ Arthur tells them. ‘I didn’t know about any human testing… But honestly I’m not surprised.’ 

‘We can get into what you did and didn’t know when you have a lawyer present.’ Matt informs him. ‘How do we get out of here? The smell is disgusting.’ 

Arthur looks around at the crossroads they’ve found themselves in. ‘I’m… not actually sure.’ He admits. 

‘That’s it.’ Wade snaps. ‘I’m going to kill him.’

‘Hey, Wade!’ 

Wade looks up to find a familiar woman's face looking down at him through the grates of a storm drain. 

‘Thought I heard your voice.’ She says, smiling down at him. 

Wade relaxes fractionally. ‘Hey Domino, lucky break huh?’

‘I’m full of them.’ She gloats. ‘Luckily, I found a screwdriver on the way. Looks like I can unscrew this grate.’ 

After waiting a few minutes that seem to last an eternity, Wade eventually climbs out of the tunnels and turns to find Domino flanked by none other than Iron Man and Captain America. ‘Oh fuck.’ Wade mutters to himself. 

Matt climbs up and instantly moves to stand next to Wade. ‘Captain. Mr Stark. What are you doing here?’

‘Jarvis picked up the Oscorp alarms and let me know that you and Deadpool were spotted on their security cameras. Thought we’d pop in to say hi.’ Tony tells him. ‘Want to let us know what's going on here?’ 

Wade looks over at Matt, silently letting him choose their cover story.

‘Oscorp have been conducting human experiments in an attempt to replicate the super soldier serum.’ Matt states simply. 

Wade watches as Captain America twitches at the mention of the serum.

‘We’re pursuing legal action, however we heard of a recent kidnapping attempt and stepped in. Collecting two witnesses for the trial along the way.’ Matt gestures to where Dr Potter and Arthur Stacey are standing, looking very guilty. ‘I’m sure you’ll be able to provide protective custody.’

‘Of course. And we can arrange an ambulance for…’ Steve gestures to where Peter is resting against Wade's shoulder.

‘No way.’ Wade snaps. ‘He’s staying with me.’ 

‘We have protocols to follow. He needs medical attention.’ Steve’s voice stern, leaving no room for debate. Luckily, Wade’s never been one for following orders, even when it comes from Captain America himself. 

‘We have our own doctors.’ Wade tells him, his grip on Peter tightening. ‘We’re not letting your government busy bodies anywhere near him.’ 

‘Deadpool-’ Tony starts but Wade cuts him off. 

‘Do not test me right now Stark.’ Wade hisses, hand twitching to grab his katana. 

‘We don’t have time for this.’ Matt tells them, frustrated. ‘Oscorp could be wiping their servers as we speak. We need that evidence.’ He pulls out his batons, standing in front of Wade. ‘Are you going to help me get the evidence we need to take Oscorp down? Or are you going to keep squabbling with Deadpool over the medical care of someone he’s more than capable of caring for.’

Steve sighs. ‘We’ll need to check up on the victim later.’ 

‘Sure. Have your people call my people.’ Wade sneers. 

Matt pats him on the shoulder. ‘I’ll take care of Oscorp. You get Peter to safety.’ 

‘Team Red.’ Wade raises one hand, grinning as Matt high fives him.

‘Team Red.’ Matt repeats with a semi-amused chuckle before running off to join Iron Man and Captain America. 

***

The world is foggy, not quite fully formed, when Peter wakes up. He gently moves his wrists and legs, checking for restraints and sighing with relief when he finds none. Peter listens for a moment, he’s alone in whatever room the scientist has dumped him in now. It can't be the same hospital-like room he was in earlier, it feels like he’s lying on a bed this time. It’s insanely comfortable and Peter is tempted to just relax and go back to sleep. But he needs to escape before the Doctor returns for round two.

Fighting through a wave of  nausea, Peter pulls himself up and out of the bed. His head pounds but he manages to open his eyes enough to spot a window. He shuffles over to it, careful not to make any noise, and smiles to himself when it opens easily. He may not have his web shooters, but he should still stick to the walls. All he has to do is slide down and escape. As he swings one leg out of the open window Peter silently prays they’re not too high up. 

Before Peter gets all the way out, muscular arms grab at him. They form a tight grip around his torso and yank him backwards from the window. Acting on instinct, Peter drives his elbow upwards, slamming into the face of his attacker. Surprised, the attacker drops Peter and stumbles backwards. Clambering to his feet, Peter scrambles back to the window, ready to dive out.

‘Ow, what the fuck Peter?’ 

Hands braced on the window sill, Peter pauses. He knows that voice. 

He turns to find Wade in the centre of the room. The man is unmasked, with blood dripping from his face where Peter has broken his nose. 

Wade brings his hands up to his nose, snapping it back into place. ‘Good to know you can still pack a punch even when all drugged up.’ He chuckles. ‘You probably shouldn't be up on your feet though. Dr Ponytail says she gave you a double dose of super soldier knockout juice.’ 

‘Is he awake?’ A woman's voice asks. Peter tenses reflexively, but as she walks through the door Peter vaguely recognises the woman who pulled a bullet out him when he stayed at Daredevils apartment. ‘You absolutely should not be on your feet.’ She chastises as Wade puts an arm around Peter's shoulder to lead him back to the bed. ‘They took a ridiculous amount of blood from you. I considered a blood transfusion, but I thought it may not be advisable what with the super-human biology. Probably better to let your body recover on its own.’ 

‘You gotta listen to her.’ Ellie yells from the doorway. ‘She's super smart.’ 

‘Ellie’s a little bit obsessed with Claire.’ Wade tells Peter quietly as he helps lower the man to the bed. ‘She’s decided she needs to be a nurse now.’ 

Ellie runs in, climbing on to the bed. ‘Nurse Claire said you need a LOT of rest.’ Ellie tells him seriously. ‘So you can borrow my Hawkeye bear. He’s very cuddly and good for naps.’

‘Thanks Ellie.’ Peter chuckles weakly as a teddy-bear is pushed into his hands.

Ellie looks across the bed at Wade, wrinkling her nose. ‘What happened to your face?’ 

‘Just a nosebleed.’ Wade tells her, ignoring Peter's apologetic expression. 

‘You can be my first patient! I’ll patch you up!’ She says, grabbing at Wade's hand. 

He laughs fondly. ‘Okay, okay. Get some sleep Webs. Let that healing factor do its work.’ 

Peter carefully lies down as the room is emptied. He stares up at the ceiling, reluctant to fall asleep again. At this rate, who knows where he’ll wake up when he comes back to consciousness. But at least with Wade in the other room he feels safe. 

Closing his eyes, Peter listens as Claire makes her exit, leaving Ellie and Wade to their hospital play-date. Peter lets the sound of Wades rambling and Ellies giggling wash over him, letting himself slowly drift off to sleep in peace.

Chapter Text

Matt arrives at Wade's apartment early the next day, dressed in a spotless business suit and crimson red glasses. Wade snickers when he spots the cane in the man's hand. 

‘Seriously?’

‘It helps with the helpless blind man act.’ Matt shrugs, collapsing the cane and sticking it into his pocket. He pauses before entering the apartment. ‘The child from the Wrecking Crew kidnapping… She’s yours?’ He asks, listening to the little girl's heart beat.  

‘Yup. If you tell anyone about her I’ll take away your other senses.’ Wade tells him, his tone far too cheerful for the threat. 

‘You have nothing to worry about.’ Matt assures him as he enters. ‘How’s Peter been?’

‘He woke up for a bit but didn’t really know where he was. He’s been asleep since then.’ 

‘Hi!’ Ellie grins as the two men enter the kitchen. ‘We made pancakes for breakfast. You want some?’ 

‘Sure?’ Matt responds, with the air of someone who has absolutely no idea how to behave in front of children. 

‘I’ll get ya some coffee too.’ Wade chuckles as he listens to Ellie ambush the man with a million questions while he prepares breakfast . ‘What do you have on your pancakes Matty?’ He asks as he loads up a plate.

‘Just plain, please.’

‘Not even any chocolate sauce?’ Ellie gasps, looking down at her own plate which is more chocolate than pancake.  

Wade takes his seat next to Ellie, surprised to hear the door to his bedroom be pulled open. 

Peter, half awake and with the most outrageous bed hair Wade has ever seen, shuffles into the room. He falls into the seat next to Wade and leans against the man's shoulder. 

‘Good morning Sunshine.’ Wade says, unable to stop the fond smile on his face. 

‘Mhmmmph.’ Peter grumbles incoherently. 

‘Ya hungry Petey?’ 

‘Mhmm.’ Peter replies, sounding vaguely affirmative. 

Wade slides Peter his own plate so he doesn’t have to get up and move the man. 

‘Thanks.’ Peter manages to mumble, still leaning against Wade as he shovels pancakes into his mouth. 

‘How did your big night with the Avengers go?’ Wade asks Matt, resisting the urge to run his hand through Peter's fluffy hair. 

‘As expected.’ Matt shrugs. ‘We worked with the police to issue warrants for all of Oscorp's active employees. Foggy and I are taking on Dr Potter and Mr Stacy as clients. We’re working on getting a plea deal for them so they’ll testify against the company.’ 

‘Whos Stacy?’ Peter mumbles, fractionally more awake. 

‘The head of security for Oscorp.’

‘He said he knows ya.’ Wade tells him. ‘Arthur Stacy?’ 

‘...Oh.’ Peter nods, slowly continuing to eat his breakfast. 

‘So you do know him?’ Matt asks. 

‘He’s the uncle of my ex-girlfriend.’ Peter answers simply. ‘.... he doesn't know I’m Spider-Man, right?’

‘No. The doctor figured it out, but she promised to be discreet.’

‘Can we trust her?’ Wade asks. 

‘She was telling the truth.’ Matt nods. ‘We’ll need you to speak to the police when you’re recovered, Peter.’ 

Peter wrinkles his nose. ‘Ugh.’ 

‘I know. But I’ll be there at every interview. Unfortunately with the Avengers pushing their noses into our case, they may be present too.’ 

‘Uuuuugh.’ Peter groans, burying his face into Wade's shoulder. 

‘Not until you’re better.’ Wade smiles, patting his shoulder. ‘Nurse Ellie, can you help our patient here over to the couch.’ 

‘Yeah!’ Ellie jumps down from her chair, tugging on Peter's arm and holding his hand as he stands. Peter chuckles sleepily and follows. 

‘I’d better head to work. I’m interested to see what my new clients have to say for themselves.’ Matt says as he stands. 

‘I’ll walk ya out.’ Wade nods, heading to the door with Matt. ‘Hey…’ He starts when they get to the hallway, closing the door behind them. ‘Thanks for sticking up for me with the Avengers.’ He says, reluctantly serious.

‘It was the right thing to do.’ Matt shrugs. ‘Wade… you should know, one of the guards didn’t survive his injuries.’ 

‘...ah.’

‘I know you didn’t mean to kill him. But it makes the case more complicated. And I thought it might be best if you were the one to tell Peter.’ 

Wade sighs. ‘Yeah, thanks Matt…’

‘There’s another complication as well.’ 

‘Oh my god.’ Wade moans, resisting the urge to bang his head against the wall. 

‘Dr Potter mentioned that Peter's father was the one who brought him to Oscorp. She believes they probably killed him, but there's no sign of him yet.’ 

Wade stills. He doesn’t know much about Peter's father, but he knows there's no way this can end well. ‘Fuuuuuck.’ 

‘I’ll see what I can dig up. I just thought you should know for when Peter wakes up properly.’ 

‘Thanks Matty.’

‘Take good care of him.’ Matt nods, pulling his cane out of his pocket and starting to walk down the hallway.

‘You look ridiculous!’ Wade calls after him as Matt pretends to need his cane. 

Once he’s alone, Wade leans against the door to his apartment, taking a moment to absorb the information. 

[Couldn’t even handle two non-lethal shots huh? Embarrassing.] Yellow laughs at him.

White sighs, managing to sound thoroughly disappointed. [We’ll always be a murderer. Why pretend otherwise?]

[Peter’s going to be furious.] Yellow reminds him. [He’ll never want to see us again.]

This time, Wade doesn’t stop himself from banging his head against the wall. ‘Shut up. Shut up. Shut uppppp.’ He hisses under his breath. 

‘Dad.’ Ellie calls, opening the door. ‘Can we watch the Hobbit?’ 

Wade takes a deep breath to settle his screaming mind. ‘Course we can El.’ 

Ellie pulls Wade back into the apartment, he blinks in confusion as he spotsPeter wrestling with a blanket. 

‘You good?’ 

‘Yeah!’ Peter splutters, struggling to escape. ‘I’m just kind of-...’ He waves his hand to show that the blanket is stuck to his palm. 

‘... Did you spill glue?’ Ellie asks. ‘I did that once.’ 

‘Ah, no. My powers are just a bit haywire right now.’ He explains, shaking his hands. 

‘What does that mean?’ 

‘He has sticky fingers.’ Wade explains. ‘How can we help Webs?’ 

‘It should go away… I just need to relax.’ 

‘Alright, you work on that while I set up the Hobbit.’ 

Peter looks down at Ellie. ‘Your pick?’ 

‘Yup.’ Ellie grins, climbing onto the couch next to Peter. 

Wade grabs his phone to check his messages while Ellie tries to pull the blankets from Peter’s sticky grip. ‘Alright Chipmunk. Good news. Your momma is out of the hospital. She wants me to take you home tomorrow.’ 

‘But who’s going to look after Peter?’ Ellie asks, still tugging at the blanket. 

Wade places a hand on his chin, pretending to think. ‘How about… You be your moms nurse and I’ll be Peters?’ 

‘You can be a nurse?’ 

‘I’m sure I can handle it.’ He looks over at Peter with a wink, grinning in triumph when Peter's face starts to turn red. ‘I got a text from Weasel too. You want the good news or the bad news.’

‘Uhhhh, good news?’ 

‘Weasel found your backpack.’ 

‘....bad news?’ 

‘He also found the Spidey suit.’ 

‘....Oh no.’ Peter sighs. ‘He’s probably already disassembled my web shooters to see how they work.’ 

‘We can deal with that problem later.’ Wade pats his shoulder as he grabs the remote and falls back on the couch next to Ellie.

They watch the film in a comfortable silence. Peter is happy to half watch while he tries to stay awake. At intermittent intervals, Ellie tugs on the blanket to try to pry it loose, grinning in triumph when she finally manages. 

Halfway through the film, Ellie slips out of the room for a bathroom break. Peter looks over at Wade, who tilts his head questioningly. He glances at the arm Wade has rested on the back of the couch and shuffles closer. Leaning against Wade and smiling when he pulls Peter closer.

‘I’m sorry Wade.’ Peter says quietly. 

‘Nope.’

Peter blinks. ‘...What?’

‘Nope. We’re not doing that. You’re not apologising.’ 

‘I broke your nose.’ Peter argues.

‘And it healed like a second later.’ 

‘It still must have hurt…’ 

‘You woke up all drugged up, not knowing where you were. I’m glad you were fighting back Webs.’ 

Peter sighs. ‘I should have known it was you when my spider sense didn’t go off. I thought it just wasn’t working because of the drugs.’

‘Don't worry about it. Just focus on feeling better, okay?’ 

‘...You know I've never taken a vacation?’ Peter sighs, curling up against Wade. ‘I feel like I need one after this month.’

Wade hums. ‘How about I whisk you off somewhere? Private jet to Hawaii maybe?’

Peter laughs under his breath. ‘You want to know something really stupid? I’m aerophobic.’

‘What’s that one?’

‘Fear of flying.’

Wade blinks, looking down at Peter. ‘No way.’

‘Yeah. It’s how my parents…. Well, I was told that's how they died. I’ve never been in a plane.’

‘You swing around the city all the time though. That’s basically flying?’ 

‘When I swing, I’m in control. But with planes you just have to sit there and hope it doesn’t crash.’

‘Huh… never thought of it like that.’ 

Ellie runs back into the room, lying down on the floor next to Lucky. Peter moves to extract himself from Wade’s side, but Wade just pulls him back down. ‘You’re fine Bambi.’ He says gently. ‘Just relax, okay?’ 

Peter reluctantly relaxes against Wade. As the dwarves escape from the stone giants, Peter feels his eyes start to get heavy and he falls asleep just as Bilbo gets his hands on the ring. 

***

When Peter wakes up, he finds himself back in Wade's bed. He really has to talk to the man about that. He can’t help but feel bad about kicking the man out of his own bed. 

He looks around to see if he can find any of his own clothes. He pulls on his jeans and a Batman t-shirt he’s stolen from Wade. Feeling vaguely more human in fresh clothes, he pulls open the door to find Wade helping Ellie zip up her coat. 

‘Ah, Sleeping Beauty.’ Wade grins.

‘...Is it tomorrow already?’

‘Yup, that super soldier drug really knocked you out.’ 

‘Peter!’ Ellie smiles, her grin identical to Wades. ‘I’m going home but dad says I can come visit next weekend. We can watch the next Hobbit film!’ 

‘Peter might be busy kiddo.’ Wade says gently. 

‘I’ll see what I can do.’ Peter tells her fondly. 

‘I’ll be gone for a few hours.’ Wade tells him. ‘This little gremlin lives in Jersey. Get something to eat and rest up okay? Doctors orders.’ 

Peter gives him a lazy salute and high fives Ellie before they leave, taking Lucky along for the walk. 

Alone in the apartment, Peter collapses on the sofa. He yawns and flicks through netflix, looking for something he doesn’t need to pay much attention to to watch. As he scrolls, Peter's phone starts to buzz. He gets up to find it, smiling fondly when he spots his new background picture; the photo of the Spider-Man and Deadpool cookie side by side.

‘Hey MJ. What's up?’ 

‘Peter.’ MJ greets him cheerily. ‘You know how I was planning to stop off to visit Harry before coming back to New York? Well, I just got a call. He’s been released from the hospital! They discharged him a few days ago. He’s already back in New York. I called him before, we’re going to dinner when I get back. I thought the three of us could go to the diner we went to as kids.’ 

With Harry's recent breakout, Peter is reluctant to believe that he’s a hundred percent better. But he knows that’s partly on him for not telling anyone about the escape. He’s just thankful that he destroyed the goblin gear after he took Harry back to the hospital. At least if Harry relapses again, he wont have any weapons. 

‘That’s great MJ. Do you have Harry's number? I’d love to give him a call.’

‘I’ll text you it. Oh! Got to go, I’m running late. Just wanted to tell you the good news. Ciao Petey.’ 

‘Bye MJ.’  

Peter watches some mindless television while he waits for MJ to send him the number. Once he has it, he sends Harry a text asking if they could meet up. An hour or so later, Harry responds with his new address. 

Peter grabs one of Wade's hoodies. Just before leaving the apartment, Peter grabs a notebook and one of Ellie's crayons and writes a note for Wade.

‘Not kidnapped. Just visiting a friend. - Peter’

He leaves the note on the coffee table and heads out. Thankfully Harry’s new place is relatively close as without his wallet or web shooters Peter is stuck walking. 

Chapter Text

Growing up, Harry Osborn had always been Peter’s closest friend. No matter what happened, they looked out for each other. Peter would help Harry with his studies so he could keep up with his fathers impossible standard and Harry would always make sure Peter had something to eat if Flash stole his lunch.

The boys knew everything about each other. But things fell apart when Peter was bitten by the spider. It was the first time he’d ever tried to keep a secret from his best friend. 

Harry was understandably devastated when he learnt that Peter was Spider-Man and his own father was the Green Goblin. Peter wishes he’d been able to help Harry through the revelations, but he’d been too heartbroken over Gwen's death to be of any use to the man. 

Peter desperately wanted to believe that Harry's rehabilitation had worked. Selfishly, he thinks it will settle some of the guilt he’s harboured since High School. He takes a deep breath to settle those thoughts before knocking on the door. 

When Harry pulls the door open, Peter is met with the same warm smile he’d seen a hundred times growing up. For a moment, it feels like nothing has changed between them. Harry is undoubtedly the same, the only difference that Peter can spot is the bags under the man's eyes, suggesting that he doesn’t get a lot of sleep these days. 

‘Pete! Hey!’ Harry pulls him into a tight hug. ‘Come in! What do you think? Not quite as flashy as my old place, but it’s a good start, right?’

Peter takes a look around the penthouse. He thinks he could fit his whole flat in the space taken up by Harry's kitchen. ‘It’s great.’ 

Harry ushers Peter into the kitchen and they sit at the island counter. ‘Now I just need to talk to Stromm about getting me back on the Oscorp board. Then everything should start going back to normal. ‘

‘...Yeah, that's actually why I wanted to talk to you before we met up with MJ…’

Harry's smile slips, looking at him with a worried expression. ‘What’s wrong Pete?’ 

Peter takes a deep breath before blurting out. ‘I’msuingOscorp.’

‘...say again?’

‘I’m.. er… suing Oscorp.’ 

‘What happened…?’ Harry asks, brows furrowing into a frown. 

‘They… uh, they kidnapped me to experiment on me?’ Peter winces, still feeling a bit light headed. 

‘What? When?!’

‘Like… yesterday? Or the day before… I’m not sure. It’s all a bit fuzzy.’ 

Harry's face goes pale. ‘Did they find out you’re…?’

‘No, well, one of them did. But she hasn’t told anyone. This was all because of my dad’s experiments…’

Harry steels himself, sitting up straight. ‘How can I help with the lawsuit?’

Peter relaxes, giving his friend a warm smile. ‘...It’s really good to have you back Harry.’ 

Peter ends up spending most of the day at Harry’s. Harry keeps them fed and with a steady supply of coffee while Peter tells him about the absolute chaos he’s faced the past few weeks. 

‘You can stay here if you want?’ Harry offers genuinely after Peter has told him about his run in with Oscorp. ‘While you’re recovering?’ 

‘Thanks Harry, I’m actually staying with Wade at the minute. He’s keeping an eye on me.’

‘Wade? …As in Deadpool?’

‘Yeah we’re kind of… I don’t know. Not quite together. I asked him out but we haven’t had a chance to yet.’ Peter rambles awkwardly. 

Harry's eyes go wide. 

‘Oh! Uh, I’m bi?’ Peter explains awkwardly. 

Harry chuckles. ‘I figured Petey. I’m happy for you.’ 

‘It might not work out. I mean, all he’s done the past few weeks is look after me. That has to be pretty exhausting. He’ll get sick of me soon.’ 

‘I see your self esteem hasn’t improved.’ Harry jokes. ‘I’m sure he wouldn’t be doing it if he wasn’t interested in you.’ 

‘I guess.’ Peter sighs. 

‘You always were hopeless with the girls.’ Harry laughs. ‘Good to see it translates to men too.’ 

‘Words hurt Osborn.’ Peter chuckles, rubbing his eyes as a wave of exhaustion hits him. ‘I should get going.’ 

‘Yeah, don’t want to keep Lover Boy waiting.’ Harry grins teasingly. 

‘I regret telling you about him.’ 

‘You have to let me and MJ meet him. We need to make sure he’s good enough for you.’ 

‘I’ll see what I can do.’ Peter says as he heads to the door. ‘It was really good seeing you Harry. I know this has to be a weird adjustment for you. If you need someone to talk to just call me okay?’ 

‘I think you have enough of your own drama to deal with Pete.’ 

‘I don’t care. You need me, you call me.’ 

‘Only if you do the same.’ Harry tells him, pulling him into another hug. 

***

Peter’s halfway to Wade's apartment when he realises he hadn’t even thought of going home. Part of him thinks that he should go to his own apartment and just look after himself. It’s always worked in the past. But the thought of curling up on Wades couch and settling in for a movie marathon is far too tempting. So he slowly makes his way back to bed-stuy. 

The apartment is unlocked when Peter gets there, he realises he probably should have tried to find a key before he left. But then again, he doubts the residents would be stupid enough to try to rob Deadpool. 

‘Wade?’ 

‘One sec!’ Wade calls from the bathroom, he exits a moment later followed by a cloud of steam. He’s practically naked apart from the white towel he holds around his waist. Every inch of Wade is covered in deep, painful looking scars. But Peter's eyes are fixed on the six-pack as his brain short circuits. 

‘...You good Webs?’ Wade asks, an amused smirk on his face. 

‘Hmm?’ Peter responds, not having heard the question.  

Wade tilts his head. ‘Sorry, I know the scars are pretty gross.’ 

‘...What?’ Peter blinks. ‘No! That’s… uh… that’s not why I’m staring.’

‘...huh.’ Wade chuckles. ‘Wait right there, I’ll be back.’ 

As Wade escapes to the bedroom, there’s a brief knock on the door before Clint Barton barges in, holding a stack of pizza boxes. 

‘The Avengers have sent me to check on your little hostage.’ He yells as he closes the door behind him. ‘But I just finished up a mission and I’m exhausted. So pizza first, interrogation second.’ He says, collapsing onto the couch. Lucky runs over, pouncing onto Clint. ‘Hey Pizza-Dog.’ He smiles fondly. 

Before Peter can come up with a reaction, Wade renters the room. He’s dressed in a huge hoodie, and has his mask and gloves on so every inch of skin is covered up. ‘Hey Hawkguy.’ He says casually, rolling up the bottom of his mask to expose his mouth. ‘How was the super secret spy mission?’

‘Absolute nightmare.’ Clint huffs. ‘I got your usual.’ He gestures to the stack of pizza boxes. ‘Olives and pineapple.’

‘...That is the worst pizza combination I have ever heard.’ Peter wrinkles his nose at the thought. 

‘Don’t be a hater Petey.’ Wade sticks his tongue out as he reaches for the pizza.

‘So Peter-’ Clint reaches for his phone, checking some kind of list. ‘Question one, are you here of your own free will?’

‘...Yeah?’ 

‘Any weird side effects from the Oscorp experiments?’

‘Just kind of tired?’ 

‘Are you-...’ Clint rolls his eyes and puts the phone away. ‘These questions are dumb, I’ll just tell the Avengers you’re fine.’ 

‘I applaud your diligent work ethic.’ Wade says through a mouthful of pizza.

‘Just be grateful they didn’t send Nat. She’d have already dug up his whole life story by now.’ 

‘They find anything juicy at Oscorp?’

Clint just shrugs. ‘They haven’t told me anything. I’m sure Cap will have a full debrief for me when I get back to the tower.’ Star-Spangled Banner starts to play from Clint's phone. ‘Ugh, speak of the devil. I’m probably late.’ He sighs, grabbing one of the pizza boxes to take with him. ‘C’mon Lucky. Oh, you have to come to Friday's BBQ. Grills was heartbroken you missed the last one’ 

‘I’ll be there. Cross my heart.’ 

‘You too Pete. Everyone in the building is dying to meet you. Plus I can tell the team I did a follow up check on you. Two birds and all that.’ 

‘...Sure?’ Peter offers lamely. Not entirely sure what’s going on. 

‘Alright. See you then.’ Clint waves before heading out with his dog at his side. 

‘...What just happened?’

Wade shrugs, pulling off his mask and tossing it aside. ‘Avengers wanted to take you to their med-bay. I told them to fuck off. So they’re making sure I haven’t gone all super-villain.’ He smirks. ‘Maybe I have. Is the Stockholm Syndrome kicking in yet?’

Peter rolls his eyes, reaching for a slice of the pizza Clint left behind. ‘Did you find my note?’

‘I did. Thrilled to hear you weren’t kidnapped again. We should get a sign. “It’s been 0 days since Peter Parker was kidnapped!”.’

Peter laughs and throws a pillow at Wade. ‘In my defence, this time my Spider-Sense was kind of distracted thanks to the shock of seeing my dad again.’

‘Yeah, DD mentioned that. What happened? I thought you were an orphan.’

‘Me too!’ Peter sighs, he leans back into the couch, pulling his knees up to sit cross legged while he tells Wade what happened at his Uncle's grave. 

‘Jesus. That's fucked up.’

‘Not the first time I’ve been betrayed by someone close to me.’ Peter shrugs. ‘Honestly, not even the worst.’

‘No?’

‘Green Goblin was my best friend's dad, and then my best friend. I interned for Dr Connors and worked with Doc Oc for a while. …Maybe it’s me? The Parker Luck infecting people or something.’

Wade stares at him for a moment. ‘...You see yourself so differently to how I see you.’ He tells Peter, his tone somehow both serious and fond. 

‘And how do you see me?’

‘Well…’ Wade pauses a moment, working out how to phrase it. ‘I see the opposite happening. Wherever you go, people want to be better. To live up to the ridiculously high standard that you’ve set.’ 

‘That can’t be true.’ 

‘It worked for me.’ Wade tells him honestly. ‘But… uh, speaking of…’

Peter takes pity on Wade as he stumbles over the words. ‘I heard what Matt told you about the guard.’

‘You did?’

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. My powers were kind of freaking out a bit.’ 

‘I didn’t mean to kill him…’ Wade says softly, disappointed in himself and hanging his head in shame.

‘I know you didn’t.’ Peter assures him gently. 

Wade's head snaps up to look at Peter. ‘...you do?’

‘If you say it was an accident I believe you Wade. I know you’re trying to be better.’

‘...Your determination to see the good in people is insane Webs.’ Wade chuckles weakly. 

Peter moves in, pulling him in for a hug. The second Peter makes contact, Wade's arms wrap around him and hold him tightly. After a few moments, they reluctantly pull apart as the sounds of a police siren tears down the street.

‘I should go get my suit. I should be patrolling the city.’

‘There is no way you’re going out as Spider-Man while you’re supposed to be resting. Let the police handle New York for a while, they’re literally paid to do that.’

‘I have to. It’ll be too suspicious if people notice Spider-Man is out of commission around the same time the Avengers know I’m recovering.’ 

Wade hums for a moment, thinking over the options. ‘I need to go bother Weasel anyway. Let me go grab your suit, then we’ll see if you’re up for patrol. Okay?’

Peter pouts but relents regardless. ‘I guess.’ 

***

Almost an hour later, Peter gets a call from Wade. ‘I have a solution to your Spidey patrol problem.’ Wade says. Peter can hear the giddiness in his voice. 

‘Alright, what's your plan?’ 

There’s a thud on Wade’s fire escape. Peter turns to look, dropping the phone as he takes in the sight of Wade wearing the Spider-Man suit. 

‘Oh my god.’ He laughs under his breath. 

‘It’s a bit tight, but I think I can be a convincing Spidey.’ Wade says, climbing through the window. 

‘You are so much more buff than me.’ Peter says, his eyes lingering on the curves of Wades muscles. 

‘We’ll just tell them Spidey's been hitting the gym.’ He says, stretching unnecessarily. 

Peter's eyes follow down the shape of Wade's arms, landing on his wrists where Peter’s web shooters sit. ‘Let me guess… you hurt your arm trying to swing?’ 

‘Fully dislocated the shoulder.’ Wade confirms, rubbing the shoulder in question. ‘What’s up with that?’ 

‘It takes a lot of strength to swing.’ Peter chuckles. He doesn’t like the idea of laughing at Wade's pain, but it’s just so typical of the man to test out tech he doesn’t understand. 

‘You cannot be stronger than me! Look at these guns.’ Wade argues, flexing his muscles. 

Peter looks Wade up and down, steps in closer and scoops him up bridal style. 

‘What the fuck?’ Wade splutters, hands wrapping around Peter's neck to balance himself. 

Peter giggles, burying his face into Wade's shoulder to try to hide his laughter. ‘I can lift ten tons. So pulling my own body weight isn’t a big deal for me.’ 

‘I am having… so many impure thoughts.’ Wade tells him, a dreamy tone to his voice. 

Peter laughs, gently setting Wade down. ‘Come on, gimmie the suit.’ 

‘Mr Parker, are you trying to undress me?’ Wade gasps. ‘Before the first date? How scandalous.’ 

‘I’ll have you know I’m a gentleman.’ Peter replies with a fond roll of his eyes. ‘I am, however, itching to get out to check on the city. It’s been too long.’ 

Wade relents, pulling off the Spidey mask and handing it to Peter. ‘Fiiiiine. But don't patrol too long. You should absolutely still be resting.’ 

‘I normally patrol till pretty late…’

‘Tell you what, you get back before eight and we’ll go on that date I owe you.’

‘...That's a dirty move Wilson.’ 

‘Never claimed to play nice.’ He smirks, kissing Peter's cheek before heading into the bedroom to change out of Peter's suit.

Chapter Text

Swinging around New York, Peter slowly starts to feel like himself again. The stress and anxiety of the past month melts away and he lets himself enjoy the steady rhythm that comes with travelling the city.

It doesn’t take long for Peter to find some action and Spider-Man throws himself off the side of a building to catch one of Doc Oc’s tentacles moments before it slams into a bus. 

Peter glances at the time as the police whisk Doc Oc away. It was a long fight, but he still has an hour to make it back to Wade. He pulls out his phone to find a message from Wade telling him to meet him at F.E.A.S.T. Peter smiles to himself at the ridiculous amount of kissy faces the man has put at the end of his text. 

Heading to his own apartment for once, Peter mentally tries to picture his wardrobe to work out what he should wear. He idly wishes he had the time to call MJ, she was always good at this kind of thing. A nearby scream pulls Peter from his thoughts. Without thinking, he spins around to descend on the mugger.

Two muggers, a car crash and an apartment building on fire later, Peter is ridiculously late for his date. He pulls himself through the air, arms starting to burn from the exertion. As he swings through the city, Peter is reminded of all of the times he let Gwen down when they were dating. All of the late arrivals that could easily turn into cancellations without warning. It was impossible to predict when New York's crime scene would act up. Without fail Peter missed every school dance and most of their dates. He barely made it to their graduation. Gwen was always accepting, but Peter knew she was disappointed every time. And she had every right to be.

Peter can’t stop imagining the betrayed expression on her face when he missed their anniversary dinner, he can imagine that expression on Wade's face all too easily. The last thing he wants to do is let down Wade the same way he was constantly letting down Gwen. 

Peter sprints across the last roof top and dives off, relaxing fractionally when he sees Wade in his Deadpool gear, leaning against the wall of the F.E.A.S.T building. 

‘Wade. I’m so sorry.’ He blurts out the second his feet touch the ground. ‘I know I’m like two… or three hours late. I’m so, so sorry. I tried to get here as soon as I could, but there was Doc Oc, and some muggers, and a fire, and I tried to call you but every time I went to grab my phone, something else would happen. I’m sorry, I’ve ruined everything.’

Wade plants his hands on Peter's shoulders, holding him firmly. ‘Webs, hey. Breathe okay?’ 

Peter pauses to take a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s fine, really. How about you use those big muscles of yours and web us up to the roof. Okay?’ 

‘...Okay?’ 

Wade excitedly wraps his arms around Peter's neck to hold on. Peter pulls them up to the roof, stepping off the ledge to land in May's rooftop garden. He feels fractionally better in the familiar surroundings. His eyes fall on the plant pots that May excitedly bought when they got a grant from the city. Some of the plants were planted by May herself, Peter is always careful to make sure those ones are well cared for. He likes having a little piece of her still out in the world. 

After reluctantly letting go of Peter, Wade claps his hands and moments later fairy lights strung across every available surface light up. A table with a red tablecloth has been placed in the centre of the rooftop, with two chairs neatly tucked into it. The table is covered in various types of junk food.

‘I figured you might not make it in time so I didn’t go for anything hot.’ Wade explains. ‘I also raided Izzy’s cookie stash.’ He tells Peter excitedly, showing him the plate of Spider-Man and Deadpool cookies. 

‘...This is perfect.’ Peter tells him in quiet awe. 

‘That's not all.’ Wade bounces excitedly, clicking on a boombox he’s rested against one of the planters. 

Peter laughs as the first notes of ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’ play. 

‘I think you owe me a dance Webs.’

‘I really don’t know how.’ Peter protests weakly. 

‘You’re smart. You’ll work it out.’ Wade assures him as he grabs Peter's hand and pulls him close. ‘We get it almost every night.’ He warbles as he starts to sway with one hand moving to rest on Peter's waist. 

‘I’m sorry Wade.’ Peter relaxes, letting Wade guide him across the rooftop.

‘No more apologising. I know you were out there being a hero.’

Peter sighs. ‘I was going to dress up and everything.’

‘I think this is more on brand for us.’ Wade teases as he twirls Peter around. 

‘I’ll try to be on time next time.’ Peter says, knowing he can’t promise anything concretely. 

‘Oooo, next time?’ Wade teases, moving to dip Peter. 

‘Yeah… If that's okay?’ 

Wade chuckles fondly. ‘It’s more than okay.’ He pulls Peter back up. With the fairy lights twinkling overhead and the music playing away in the background, Wade pulls his mask up to expose his lips, grinning as Peter automatically does the same. His hands find Peter's waist again, swaying in time to the music as he leans in for a kiss. 

As far as Peter’s concerned, time seems to slow down. He loses himself in the moment, all of his relationship anxiety forgotten as their lips meet. Yeah. He thinks to himself fondly. This could work.