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Wai stormed out after Korn, leaving Pat and Pran together. Normally this wouldn't be a problem but right now Pat felt like shit after Korn had reminded him of just what had happened. He had forgiven Pran! He had understood why Pran couldn't say no to his mum, especially since she was already suspicious and the one who had been the driving force to transfer Pran away last time! But wow, it had hurt and Pat really didn't need his friend reminding him of it.
"Pat?" Pran asked. He sounded hesitant, nervous and Pat did what he always did when Pran sounded like that, he projected confidence.
"Yeah?" He turned around, making sure his hurt was buried deep enough. If he focused on Wai and Korn it was easy. "Can you believe those two? If I had to pick two of our friends to get together, I wouldn't have thought it would be them."
"It's weird, sure," Pran said in a distracted tone, which was the exact opposite of the reaction he had had with Wai just minutes ago. "But Pat, about what Korn said..."
"Forget about it," Pat interrupted him, making sure his voice was firm. He really didn't want to talk about it and he especially didn't want to talk about here, when there was every chance he might cry. It would be humiliating to cry but to cry when someone else apart from Pran could walk in? Yeah, that wasn't happening.
"No, Pat." Pran moved closer until they were almost touching. He reached up and cupped Pat's cheek, the familiar calluses from the guitar playing reassuring Pat. This close he could smell Pran, he could feel the warmth against him. It didn't matter what had happened in the past because they were here now. "I know you don't want to do this here but I don't want you to feel like that anymore. I should have shut Wai down when he started talking about it, I shouldn't have gone on the date at all. I hated every moment and I wished I could have been with you instead."
"It's fine, Pran," Pat said quietly, his hands going on Pran's waist. He needed the reassurance that Pran was here with him. "We can't change it. I know why you did it, it's okay." Pran's eyes were glistening. He shook his head to Pat's words.
"No, it's not okay. It hurt you and for what reason? Because I'm so terrified of my parents finding out that I'll do anything to make sure they don't find out about you?" Pran shook his head and one of the tears fell. "That's not good enough."
"Hey." Now Pat was the one to put his hand on Pran's cheek, all the better to pull him round to look Pat in the eye. "I am not blaming you for being scared about your parents finding out. Even if you had no idea how they would react, telling them is up to you and it's fine to be scared. But we know how your ma reacted to us even playing in a band together, you have a good reason to be scared."
Pran sniffed. "You're not so scared about your parents finding out." His hand left Pat's cheek but only to loop around his shoulder and pull him closer. It was like Pran needed Pat as close as he could be and Pat was happy for the chance to be the comforter this time.
"Yeah I am," Pat replied honestly. "I don't know whether they'll react worse because you're a guy or because of your parents, but I know they're not going to react well. But I have Paa and I know she'll be with me all the way. And I'm not as close to my parents as you are." He loved them, sure, but growing up it had been him and Paa against their parents. Pran didn't have that, they had always been a unit of three.
Pran watched him. He had stopped crying now but his tears were drying on his cheeks and Pat wiped them away with his thumbs, not liking the signs of Pran being upset. He wanted to say that he had considered what their parents would be like before kissing Pran but he hadn't. Thought hadn't come into it, he had liked Pran so much and then they were kissing and it had felt like everything Pat had wanted. It was only after that he had thought about what his parents would think about their only son dating another boy, who was also the child of their worst enemies. But the thought of giving Pran up for that wasn't something he seriously considered.
"We're worth it," Pran said quietly. Pat looked at him, hope starting to rise in his chest. "That was why I came to your room after I left you on the roof. I thought about it and decided that I liked you too much to let our parents get in the way of it. The feud dictated our entire lives and even after becoming adults, it's still following us. I couldn't let it dictate our happiness anymore."
Pat grinned so wide that his cheeks were going to ache soon. Pran's expression lightened with it and Pat loved how responsive Pran was to his moods. Pat could make a difference to someone, just like that, and he loved it. He kissed Pran, not for as long as he would like, but he was helpless to resist when Pran looked that enticing. Pran responded, just as eager, but was the one to decide when it ended. He always had better self-control than Pat.
"I don't want to risk this getting out, but maybe letting our friends know wouldn't be the worst thing. Especially if Wai and Korn say anything because nobody will be thinking about us then."
"Good excuse if your ma asks too," Pat pointed out. He couldn't stop smiling now. "Can I tell Paa and Ink?"
"If you think Paa will be okay with it," Pran replied. "But yes, tell Ink." There was a look in Pran's eyes which Pat could almost read. The more time he spent with Pran, the better he was getting at reading him.
"Are you jealous of Ink?" Pat asked, completely delighted. Pran put his chin out in that irritated way of his and pinched the side of Pat's neck gently. Pat jumped like it had hurt but didn't stop smiling. "Why are you jealous of her? I haven't liked her since high school! Not to mention, she's the one who helped me realise how much I liked you."
"You said you liked her only last month!" Pran shot back indignantly.
"I was confused! I didn't realise I liked you instead! Paa and I tested her and there was nothing there. And then I ran into you after and all the signs were there."
"When was this?" Pran asked.
"When I went to collect the drumsticks. You remember?" Pat asked. It felt like ages ago but it hadn't actually been that long. It was only after he realised what his feelings for Pran were that he realised just how far back they went. He still hadn't told Pran this though, it was a little embarrassing to like the same guy for years and not realise it until you were in a strange kind of friends-enemies situation.
Pran tilted his head to the side, visibly confused. "But I saw you. Paa wasn't with you two."
"When did you see us?" Pat gave Pran an odd look. "Paa definitely was there. Ink kept feeding her food and I wondered if Paa was far more interested in Ink than I had ever been. Then I left the two of them alone to get the drumsticks and met you. And I realised."
"I didn't see her," Pran muttered, more to himself than to Pat. "This makes so much more sense." There was a noise outside the project room and chattering could be heard getting closer and closer. Pat and Pran detangled themselves and stepped back. Pat's front was suddenly very cold.
"Want to get lunch back at the room?" Pat asked. Normally they would go out to eat somewhere not on campus but he had the urge to wrap himself around Pran like an octopus and that wasn't something Pran would tolerate in public.
"Yeah, sure." Pran smiled at him and they walked out of the room, careful to keep the appearance of civil enemies. Pat may not like it but he understood Pran's fear and when he had decided to date Pran, he had decided to date all of him. Fears and idiosyncrasies and all. Never once had Pat regretted it.