Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Luke. Hey, Luke, just breathe,” he could barely hear her instructions over the blood rushing in his ears. He wasn’t actually sure if he had heard her right in the first place, either way he was having a hard time believing what Julie had just told him a minute ago.

“Say it again,” he said. His voice sounded pretty steady, he was proud of himself for that because the rest of him felt anything but steady at the moment. He faintly registered that his hands were shaking and he brought them together in his lap in an attempt to still them.

“Okay, but first just breathe with me okay? In for five, out for seven,” her hands on his shoulders grounding him as he followed her instructions, the rushing in his ears finally settling enough that he could hear his own thoughts once more, “Good, okay, I’m gonna say it again. Ready?”

He nodded his head, still breathing as she had instructed him to, not trusting his voice right then.

Julie exhaled next to him, her hands moving down to his lap where his own hands still sat, fingers laced together. She gently untangled his own fingers from themselves before lacing hers between them and ducking her head down so she was looking him in the eye, “Luke, I’m pregnant. We’re going to be parents.”

And yep, there was the blood rushing in his ears again and why was the room spinning? 

“Hey, hey, hey. Just breathe. Remember? Like we talked about,” he inhaled slowly as Julie counted to five, “Like that, good, that’s it,” the room wasn’t spinning anymore, though he still felt a little off-kilter. “I uh, I didn’t know how you’d react but this isn’t really how I’d pictured it in my mind…” she trailed off, unsure, biting her lip.

Shit.

He was freaking out, wasn’t he?

It wasn’t that he didn’t want kids with Julie, they had talked about it of course, he just hadn’t pictured it happening so soon . He gulped and hoped his voice wouldn’t fail him, “No, no, no, Jules. I’m happy, of course I’m happy! It just caught me off guard is all, we talked about it but we weren’t trying for it and god Jules we’re not even married yet. Ray is gonna kill me,” he knew he probably sounded a bit manic at this point but he couldn’t help it, this was really happening.

But then Julie was laughing, the full belly-laugh he loved so much and she didn’t seem unsure anymore as she let go of his hands and crawled into his lap, looping her hands around his neck. “Luke, we’re getting married in three weeks ,” she was still chuckling at him between her reassurances, “We’re twenty-seven years old and we’ve been living together for five years now. Papi - and everyone else - will be thrilled,” she punctuated that statement with a hard kiss to his lips.

He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding and finally allowed a small smile to grace his lips, “Right, ya, you’re right Jules,” and he let himself actually think about it. A baby, a perfect mix of him and the woman he loved and the small smile grew as he laughed, “Holy shit we’re gonna be parents. Julie, you’re going to be a mom .”

When her eyes met his, they were damp with tears, “I know, Luke, and you’re going to be a dad .”

And wow that was big.

Him and Julie.

Mom and Dad.

But he didn’t feel scared anymore, he could do anything with her by his side, “I’m so excited, Jules,” he breathed out just as she leaned in and captured his lips in a kiss.