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Summary
A victor, he knows, is nothing more than what the Capitol makes them.
(Or, how Beetee brought down a country he never wanted to build).
Series
- Part 1 of The Flaw in the System
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26
But now, he realizes that it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the kind of people who tend to win: namely, it underestimates the fierceness of their survival instincts. People make the opposite decision sometimes, but usually just in the arena: the force field around the Tribute Center prevents anything before then, but every few years someone will score suspiciously well at the edible plant station then eat poison berries. But most people are far more afraid of death than they want to believe, and with a few exceptions like Wiress (and there is a difference between them that matters more than he ever thought), victors are people who’ve proven they would kill to live. That drive doesn’t go away.
Even when it should. Even when you know your family already watched you kill in high definition and should not have to watch you die as well. Even when your life partner is sitting next to you and you have the power to make her pain stop but you can’t, because you have to try to live and you can’t go in there alone. Even when you thought you were safe.
They were never safe.
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Because he wants to be more than a desperate measure. He wants to start making up for everything he’s done, even if it can never be enough. He wants to be who he made Katniss think he is instead of who he truly is.
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“I have been trying so hard to keep myself in check, trying so hard to be who Finnick wants me to be, and most of the time I don’t think I can do it. I yell at people so I don’t punch them and I punch people so I don’t kill them and if you could give me a little fucking slack here, I would appreciate it!”
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Maybe he got so absorbed in taking responsibility for the man he became that he forgot to have compassion for the boy he was.
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9
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