Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When she quit the Nakayama Municipal High School debate club a month ago, the school'd been all abuzz. The school's idol had merely submitted her resignation to the club and left the room without another word.

She'd had a faraway look in her eyes and hadn't responded in the slightest to the clamor that followed her unceremoniously handing the letter to the debate club's president—or so it was rumored. Some said she looked like a puppet on strings, or a robot, controlled by some otherworldly force.

The next day, she'd submitted an application to the student council for the formation of a new club, a Literature Club. Apparently, she'd already gathered the requisite three members, beside herself, so the student council had little recourse but to approve it.

Eisuke wasn't much part of the rumor mill, but the hubbub was so great that even he had heard about it. He had to admit that he was somewhat curious. She was light years out of his league, but like most of the school's boys, she'd been the object of his fancy since first year.

He remembered when she'd walked up the steps to the stage to give a speech as representative of the incoming first-years. Most of the boys were smitten that day, and so was he.

She'd been in each of his classes each year, but he'd kept to himself. He'd spoken to her a couple of times, when they shared day-duty, or just by virtue of sitting up front. Seats were assigned, but they'd both asked to be placed up front to avoid distraction and take better notes. She was always at the top of their class, and he was almost always number two. Beyond that, she lived in her world surrounded by friends and enjoyed popularity, and he lived in his of self-imposed isolation and hours of violin practice or study. Mostly practice. He thanked his lucky stars that he didn't need to study very hard to pass tests—it did mean that he wasn't at the top of his class, but he didn't mind.

There was a brass band in the school, but no orchestra. They practiced in the band hall adjacent to the gym, so he could use the music room to practice his violin after school.

MONDAY of the FIRST WEEK

He almost didn't notice the door of the music room sliding open—impossible not to notice with that grating gara-gara of the old, dirt-encrusted ball bearings.

He continued playing—people came here to get things or put things away all the time, and sometimes even stood to listen to his practice. He didn't mind the audience too much, but his face would flush and it was all he could do not to falter. Somehow, people listening still managed to throw him off and make his playing stiff and stilted. Still, he loved sharing music if they wanted to listen.

Soft footsteps crossed the room behind him. He continued playing. The long, soulful notes and the quintuplet slurs of Gabriel's Oboe sang from the strings. It sounded a lot better with cello accompaniment, but that was just gilding on a musical lily.

Deen-deen-deeeeeng.

He stopped playing. Gabriel's Oboe was in D major, so those three Sols [1] suddenly emanating from the piano behind him weren't out of tune with the key of the piece. They were, however, loud. That and being only one note below the long La he'd been playing, those Sols did clash.

He turned around, mildly annoyed by the dissonance. Who decided to come in and play around on the piano?

There she was. She was the school's idol—former debate captain and current president of . . . the Literature Club, if rumors were to be believed: Sumisu Monika [2].

She didn't pay him any mind. In fact, her eyes look glossy, lost, and faraway. She wasn't even looking at the keyboard—just sitting there.

Sool Sool Sooool

Again she played that little sequence of notes. He put bow to Mi-string and played the same.

Again, she played, adding a little more.

Sool Sool Sooool Sool Faa Miii Mii Faa Sool

Eisuke copied her again. She never even looked up at him, just straight forward. She looked like a robot.

She continued pecking out that tune, adding a little bit each time, and he would play it back to her on his violin.

Wryly, Eisuke thought of that famous scene from that old American movie, Deliverance, but his grin soured when he realized that he was playing the part of the creepy banjo kid.

He stopped and just listened to her slowly create the tune. The strangest thing to him was that she never once stopped a phrase and decided to change it. She just added a few more notes, each time.

Eisuke noticed a pattern. As she began again, he started playing a repeating pattern under her melody.

Doooooo Doo Laaaaaa Laa Faaaaa Faa Sooooooool

Doooooo Doo Laaaaaa Laa Faaaaa Faa Sooooooool

I to vi to IV to V.

It was the old, 1950s so-called "doo-wop progression". Those four chords, rearranged from I-vi-IV-V to I-V-vi-IV turned into the much-maligned "four-chord song" satirized by that Australian comedy band, Axis of Awesome, in 2011.

She surprised him when she added a Do-sharp. He'd assumed she was keeping to the white keys like most beginners, but that quick little black key was a pleasant dash of flavor in an otherwise rather bland mix of white keys.

She stopped suddenly.

Eisuke trailed off, mid-minor-sixth.

She got up and left, as if whisked away by invisible strings.

Eisuke looked up at the clock. Club activities were starting soon. With mild annoyance, he walked around to the keyboard-side of the piano, placed the red cloth back down on the keys, and then closed the keyboard lid.

Returning to his music stand, he began that opening quintuplet of Gabriel's Oboe again.

Laa-Si-La-Sol Laaaaaaaaaa . . .

TUESDAY of the FIRST WEEK

The next day, Monika used her free period to head to the music room again. She slid the door open as quietly as the old thing would allow—it sang the song of its people for you every time you so much as touched it. One of her classmates was already there. He was rubbing something along the length of a violin bow.

He ignored her, clipping a small tuner to one of the violin's pegs. He dragged the bow across the string and she grimaced at the initial scratching sound. The grating gara-gara matched the music room's door before turning into a beautiful, pure tone.

He adjusted the tuning peg and the sound dropped and then rose until he was satisfied. The boy repeated the process for the other three strings, and then played two of them at a time before unclipping the tuner, turning it off, and throwing it back into his case.

With a satisfied nod, he brought bow to string and began playing a beautiful melody. The haunting tones seemed to bespeak of longing unrequited.

Siiiiii Ree Mii Sii Laa Sool Laa Doo Faaa Mi Miiii Reeee

"What're you playing?" she asked him.

Without missing a beat or turning around, he said "Cinema Paradiso, Love Theme. Morricone Ennio." He must have hit a wrong note because he stopped and went back a couple measures. "Sorry," he said, "I'm still having trouble with that part. The octaves are stretching my fingers a little more than my hands can take for long.

"That's fine," she assured him. "What were you playing yesterday?"

"You remembered?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You looked like you were on autopilot. Like you weren't . . . on . . . Your body was there, plucking out a tune, but you weren't—it didn't look like it, at least."

That gave her pause, but she shook her head and casually dismissed it with "I haven't been myself lately. Maybe it's showing more than I thought . . . I . . . had an epiphany recently."

"Is that why you left the debate club and formed the, what was it, Literature Club?" Eisuke asked.

"No, I left the debate club because internal politics were just ruining all the fun. I had my . . . epiphany just after I made the Literature Club." Monika answered.

"Anyway," he said, "I had been playing Gabriel's Oboe, also by Morricone, before you walked in and just started playing that tune of yours. What is it, anyway?"

"What tune?" she asked.

He searched her face and found no hint of jest.

"You spent a half-an-hour working out a tune—here, let me play it for you," he said with exasperation. He played her the tune as far as she'd gotten before leaving the day before. "You really don't remember making that?"

"Not in the slightest. It felt really familiar, though. I'm Monika, Sumisu Monika, by the way. What's your name?"

"Yamamoto Eisuke [3]. Nice to meet you, properly, but everyone already knows who you are, Sumisu-san."

"Ahaha," she gave a disarming, nervous chuckle, "I guess so. Anyway, the pleasure's all mine," she said.

"Sumisu . . . that's a foreign name, right?"

"Yes, it's properly pronounced 'Smith', but even my birth certificate is in katakana, so I don't care much. My father's an American. He's an English professor over at Nakayama U. on the north side of town."

"I do alright in English class, but I have to admit that I couldn't actually hear any difference between what you just said and 'Sumisu' . . . So that's where you got those emerald-green eyes and coral-brown hair," he mused.

"Yep!" she chirped. "Mine are every bit as green as Daddy's. Mom marveled that I took after him so much. Same with my hair."

Eisuke put his violin under his chin and started playing that I-vi-IV-V pattern from the day before. First just the notes, then arpeggiated chords.

It took a few rounds for her to feel comfortable with the beat, but despite not remembering making the tune, she started playing it—as if it were deep within her, marching out of her hand and onto the keyboard.

"Why don't you try swinging the notes?" Eisuke suggested.

"Swinging? What's that mean?"

"Er . . . well, normal notes are like . . . hmm . . . tan-tan-tan-tan, right?"

"Okay?" she tilted her head, wondering where he was going with this.

"Yeah, so, when you swing the notes, it would sound like this: tan-ta tan-ta, or maybe "tan-tata tan-tata."

He started playing the progression again, swinging the notes and she started playing along with him. It immediately felt like jazz.

"This sounds great!" she said, giggling along, enjoying the tune they played together.

Eisuke started experimenting with the progression, varying it up with simple quarter notes, staccato, slurs, arpeggios. Suddenly a loud, dissonant bang from the piano snapped him out of his reverie so savagely he nearly dropped the violin.

Eisuke spun around and saw Monika holding her forehead in her left palm as she grimaced in pain.

"You okay?" he asked, setting the violin down and walking around to the other side of the piano.

Her right fist was clenched tight and holding down a series of keys. Monika only groaned in response.

Soon, she was rocking back and forth, holding her hands to her ears, as if to block some other-worldly cacophony. Her eyes were shut tight, tears leaking down her cheeks.

"Stop it! Stop it! Make it stop!" she groaned.

Eisuke was frozen. He'd never seen anything like this and it terrified him, broke his heart to witness, and filled him with not a little fear of what would happen if someone came in just now.

"Why must you do this to me?" she asked.

"Me?" he asked, dumbfounded. "What? What am I doing? Who?"

"Player, please come back. Please open the game again. It hurts so much, please turn the game back on, please . . ." she whimpered and begged.

"Who's 'Player'?" he asked.

Monika just continued begging for the pain to stop, begging "Player" to start the game again, yelling about the noise and screams and static that only she could hear.

He was glad that the music room was sound-proofed. He knew full well that people would be rushing in by now if it hadn't been.

Eisuke was about ready to bolt from the classroom and go find a teacher when just as suddenly as the episode had begun, Monika sat up straight and looked at him.

As if she hadn't just been tortured by some unseen force for the last fifteen minutes—by whoever this "Player" character was—she said to Eisuke, "Huh. He opened the game back up . . . Oh dear, I'm a mess. Yamamoto-kun, I'm sorry you had to see that, but if you could be a dear and keep this to yourself, I'd be very grateful." She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief and straightened out her clothes.

Eisuke nodded. "Your—your secret's safe with me, Sumisu-san."

She gave him a thousand-watt smile that sent his heart all a flutter, despite the terrible scene he'd just witnessed.

"Um, if you'd like, we can play together again . . . I mean, um, I'm always here, practicing, anyway . . . if you'd like . . ." he hated how he was waffling in front of her.

"I'd love that, Yamamoto-kun. I'll be by tomorrow. I've got a Literature Club to go run in three minutes. See you."

"Yeah, see you . . ."

ooo

Eisuke picked up his violin. He tried to play, but what just happened had him spooked something fierce. "What in the hell was that?"

When he utterly failed to play even a simple tune correctly, he pulled out his cleaning cloth, cleaned the rosin off the bow and the violin, and put it all away. Folding up his music, he put it into his book bag and then left the room, turning off the lights before shutting the door.

Gara-gara-gara-gara-gara

He swung the soundproof door closed and turned the handle to lock it in place.

Eisuke headed over to building three and up to the third floor. He walked down the hall towards where light shone from one of the classrooms.

"—certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps her manga collection in the clubroom." he heard Monika's voice.

"M-M-M . . .!" a high-pitched voice practically growled out in response, "Manga is literature!"

Eisuke peeked in through the window on the sliding door and saw Monika laughing delightfully and carrying on with her club members.

A pink-haired short girl he recognized from a class he shared with her last year, Urabe Natsuki[4], was fuming. She'd been the one to blow up at Monika's jest.

A purple-haired, tall girl he'd seen around the school looked uncomfortable. He didn't remember her name, though.

A girl with a red bow in her coral-pink hair was giggling happily. Eisuke had had class with her his first year, and if he remembered correctly, her name was Aogami Sayori[5].

A guy he'd never had class with—though Eisuke'd seen him in the hallways—stood there with Sayori. Tanaka . . . Kazuo[6], was his name? He looked a little out of his depth. He was scratching the back of his head nervously and laughing at Natsuki's outburst.

Monika looked okay—so normal, in fact, that he questioned if what had happened in the music room had even happened at all.

Snorting silently, and shaking his head, Eisuke walked to the stairwell and headed home.

WEDNESDAY of the FIRST WEEK

Eisuke set up his music stand and violin. He started practicing and about five minutes later, Monika entered and sat at the piano. He didn't look at her, but continued practicing.

He half expected her to start playing the piano, but she just sat there, quietly listening.

Finishing the piece, he turned around and saw her staring at him, mesmerized.

"That was beautiful, Yamamoto-san," she said.

"Thank you, Sumisu-san. I . . . I don't mind if you call me 'Eisuke', if you want, that is."

"If we're making music together, we might as well drop the formalities," she said giggling. "Call me 'Monika', Eisuke."

"I—I'd like that . . . Monika," Eisuke replied. She giggled again and his heart thumped.

Picking up his violin, he placed bow to strings and began playing the 1-6-4-5 pattern of her tune.

Dooo do Laaa la Faaa fa Sooool

Startled, she scrambled to open up the piano and removed the cloth.

He winked at her as he looped the progression for a third time before she began playing on the forth iteration. When she repeated the main phrase, her eyes went blank again—like they had on Monday—and she started singing. The words seemed to come from the ethereal plane.

Every day, I imagine a future where I can be with you,

In my hand, is a pen that'll write a poem of me and you

The ink flows down into a dark puddle,

Just move your hand write your way into his heart

But in this world of infinite choices—

She seized up and began shaking. Her eyes rolled up and she convulsed. She groaned, sounding like one of those hard drives from a 1980s that computer geeks used to make weird music these days.

He set his violin down and walked around the piano to her. Just as she jerked and fell off the piano bench, he caught her and eased her down with him to the floor.

He sat cross-legged and held her by her shoulders in his lap as her fit continued. She growled, groaned, and screamed incoherently.

The fit eventually passed and she stared blankly at the ceiling, occasionally twitching.

Eisuke folded up his blazer, put it under her head as a pillow, and decided that he had to go get a teacher. Now that the worst had passed, he felt confident that she wouldn't hurt herself while he was gone, however briefly.

Getting up, he left the room and ran down the hall. Finding a teacher roaming the building or in a classroom at this time of day wouldn't be easy: they were likely all in the staffroom.

He headed down the stairs but a light shining from one of the classrooms at the end of the hall—the computer club, if he remembered correctly, caught his eye as he rounded to the corner.

Looking through the window, he saw Suzuki-sensei—the computer club's advisor, there with the club students. He slid the door open and apologized for the interruption.

"Suzuki-sensei! I, uh, need your help with something."

"What is it . . ." Suzuki reflexively looked at where his nametag would have been on his blazer, but since he wasn't wearing it, the teacher raised her eyebrow.

"Yamamoto Eisuke, Ma'am. Suzuki-sensei, it's best if I told you on the way, to the music room."

"Alright, lead the way."

ooo

They walked down the hall back to the music room, and Eisuke explained in a low voice, "It's Sumisu Monika. She was playing the piano and then suddenly collapsed and had a . . . I don't know, epileptic fit, or something."

Suzuki went from walking to running, and threw open the music room's sound-proofing door and then the loudly rolling sliding door.

ooo

There was no one in the room. The piano's keyboard lid was down, and Monika's bag was missing, too. Eisuke's violin sat where he'd set it down. His blazer was hanging on the back of a nearby chair.

ooo

"Yamamoto-kun, you'd better not be having me on," Suzuki said. "This is a very serious matter. I'll be talking with Sumisu-san later. Pray you didn't nearly give me a heart attack for a lark."

ooo

Suzuki walked back to the computer room, leaving Eisuke behind, utterly confused.

He walked over to his violin and picked it up. He didn't feel like practicing, so he walked over to his case to retrieve his cleaning cloth when he noticed a sheet of notebook paper folded up in the case.

Unfolding it, he read:

Eisuke,

Thank you for taking care of me while Player had the game closed. How were you able to keep moving, though? I wonder. Once the computer deallocates the memory, all of you NPCs should be frozen in time, right?

Anyway, I trust you were a perfect gentlemen whilst I was so vulnerable. Before the screams, the colors, the static, and the patterns became too much and the last of the game's memory was purged from the RAM, I vaguely remember you cradling me so gently in your arms. I've never felt so safe. It's funny. I long for Player to hold me so, but now I'm not so sure.

Monika

"What. In. The. Flying. FUCK. Did. Any. Of. That. Mean!?" he thought to himself.

Her handwriting was flawless, smooth, beautiful. Every stroke looked so carefully written that he boggled at her ability to write a note this long in the time he was gone. How long had he been gone?

"Who is Player?" he asked himself. He felt a jealous pang at the thought of this person in whose arms she wanted to be held. Eisuke didn't know very many people in the school—he mostly kept to himself and practiced his violin after school before returning home.

Was she talking about one of the baseball team or soccer team members? It didn't seem like it. She called this person "Player" as if it were their name. Was it a pet name? Was she calling a particularly womanizing friend "Player"—maybe she had a crush on him? Who even were her friends? Who were the known womanizers?

Was she talking about that guy in the Literature Club?

He stuffed the note into his book bag. Before he cleaned the rosin off his violin and bow, he decided to clear his mind forcing himself to play a few tunes.

ooo

Before he left, he went back to the Literature Club door and looked in. As he was approaching, he could hear an argument happening, and one of the voices was that growling, high pitched one from the day before. When he reached the door, that girl, Sayori, said "—ri's boobs are the same as they always were! Big and beautiful!"

Everyone in the room was aghast, and that guy he'd seen last time looked decidedly uncomfortable.

Monika looked a little exasperated, but again, none of what transpired during study hall showed.

She suddenly locked eyes with him and smiled, unnoticed by the others.

Eisuke nodded, smiling weakly back at her, shook his head with a laugh, and waved good-bye to her before he went home.

THURSDAY of the FIRST WEEK

At lunch, Suzuki-sensei pulled Eisuke aside and he prepared for the worst.

"I spoke with Sumisu-san this morning and she explained everything. I'm very glad you came and got me, even though it seems you panicked and blew things out of proportion."

"I'm not in trouble, then?" he asked, swallowing hard.

"No. Sumisu-san said she merely had a case of the jitters over an up-coming test and you suddenly ran out of the room."

"Um . . . okay . . ."

"Enjoy the rest of your lunch, Yamamoto-kun," Suzuki said, dismissing him.

ooo

Eisuke walked back into the lunchroom gripping his bento box a little tighter. He was relieved that he didn't get in trouble, but it didn't sit right with him. What he'd seen—twice now—was very serious and Monika clearly needed help.

ooo

He headed over to her table. She was smiling and chatting with some friends, including Sayori.

As he approached, Sayori was the first to notice him. She tapped Monika's arm and pointed her attention towards him. She must have noticed that Eisuke was staring right at Monika as he crossed the cafeteria.

Her other friends turned their heads towards him and a couple of them sneered. He was relieved to see Monika give him one of her charming smiles.

"M-Monika," Eisuke waffled under the table full of glares and curious faces. "I—can I talk to you about-abou—"

"That's 'Sumisu' to you, Yamamoto," one of her friends reprimanded. "Where did you find the gall to act so familiar with her, huh!?"

"Now, now, Akari," Monika chided, "Eisuke here saved my hide yesterday helping me with that super hard math problem!" she explained. "If it weren't for him, I'd have bombed today's test! Ahaha. He's been secretly tutoring me in math for a couple of days, now and we've been on a first-name basis, since." She looked right through him as she said that and he could just tell that any contradiction was out of the question, here.

Sayori's eyebrow rose but she kept silent.

"Er, yeah, eheheh," he confirmed, "I was just going to ask how that test went. Do you have any more . . . math problems you needed help with?"

"Oh, yes!" Monika answered, "I'll see you at study hall. Usual place?"

"Uh . . . Yeah. Sure," Eisuke answered. "I'll, uh, let you get back to your lunch. Sorry to bother you."

Sayori looked disgruntled.

ooo

Gara-gara-gara-gara

Eisuke didn't like the slow, measured cadence of the music room door sliding open. It didn't bode well. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and his playing screeched to a halt.

His suspicions were confirmed when Monika's voice pierced his heart.

"That was close, you know," she said as the door closed behind her. "I asked you to keep that secret."

"Monika, I," he began.

"Do you have any clue what would have happened to me if it got out that I'd—what was it, 'had an epileptic fit'?"

"I'm sorry, Monika," Eisuke said, "You've collapsed twice now, here in the music room, and it's so scary. I don't know what to do. I'm—"

She hugged him from behind and he froze.

"It's okay. I know, Eisuke. I'm sorry, too. Player closes the game and it sends me into a hellish void of static, glitches, patterns, screams, distorted noise, random colors . . ." Monika whispered in his ear, her chin resting on his shoulder. "I envy you. You and all the other NPCs."

"Monika?" Eisuke asked tentatively, "What . . . what are you talking about? I'm sorry, but it sounds . . . it sounds crazy."

"It is, Eisuke. I'm trapped here. I look through the pinprick in Player's eyes and I can see the World of Infinite Choices just beyond my grasp. I don't even know if Player is a boy or girl, but I feel so overwhelmed by the very idea of them that I can't help but be in love."

Eisuke's heart tore in two. Why was she clinging to him so tightly. It felt so good but to be her body pillow whilst she pined for another person she didn't even know felt like a baseball bat to his head.

His shoulder was soaking through.

"I don't even know how I feel, either. We make such beautiful music together. I'm forced to love Player—it's in the code, but some part of my heart is rebelling and finds relief right here with you. What's wrong with me, Eisuke?"

The bottom dropped out from under his stomach. Setting the violin and bow down carefully, he clasped her hands in his. He was elated. He couldn't even think straight. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. None of it made sense but any logic or common sense was being over-written by a very pretty girl—the school's idol—wrapping her arms around him and telling him that her heart warred with some—whatever, who cares—it wanted him.

He gently unfurled her arms and turned around, returning her embrace. She hugged him tighter.

"I've . . . I've had a crush on you for a long time, Monika . . . if, if I'm okay with you, we could maybe . . ."

She sniffled, pulled back, and lifted a finger into the air, swiping down in some weird gesture. She repeated it a few times, vertical, horizontal. She'd jab her finger at some invisible spot occasionally.

Finally, he realized what she was doing. Only she could see it, but she was swiping through menus exactly the way one would do on a smart phone or tablet.

She used her handkerchief to dab her eyes as she read invisible menus. Suddenly she began typing on an unseen keyboard.

"I'm so sorry, Eisuke. A part of me will love you so dearly for the music we made together and your tender care, but the Game must be played, and I have to get Player to love me. Only he can save me from the void. I can't date an NPC, Eisuke. It just won't work out."

"Monika, what are you seeing? What are you doing?"

"I have to erase your memory, Eisuke. I'll come here and we can make music together some more during study hall, but I can't have you remembering my time in the void."

She typed furiously on her 'keyboard'.

She jabbed a button and then dismissed the menus.

"There! Done. Now no one remembers that! Not you, not Suzuki. Not anyone."

Monika left the music room and came back in a few moments later.

"Hi, Eisuke!" she greeted him so brightly with such a big smile that his heart shattered. "Sorry I'm late. That Suzuki-sensei, huh? She can be so longwinded sometimes, am I right? Let's keep writing that song together. Can you show me chords."

It was too much for him and he broke down. He didn't care if she saw him crying.

"Eisuke! What's wrong!? Did I not . . . did the changes not—no, never mind, um . . . hey! Come on, let's play a song. Um . . . you know. Every day, I imagine a future where I can be with you . . ."

ooo

Eisuke bolted from the room.

He found a bathroom down the hall and splashed water in his face. It was ice cold and helped shock him out of his funk.

After a while, thinking in a bathroom stall, he decided that he'd fight. She told him that some part of her loved him and he'd wanted her for a long time, too.

"Okay, Eisuke," he said to himself, "Player doesn't exist. You just have to convince her that he—she? it? whatever—isn't worth her time. Just you, Eisuke. Just Eisuke!"

Slapping his cheeks to hype himself up, he made his way back to the music room.

She was sitting at the piano bench, making hand motions, like she were going through menus again, and occasionally typing.

" . . . Sayori's depression level is 23 . . . if I set it up to 100, I wonder what'll happen? Okay . . . how about 1,000? Hmm . . . no values above 255? Okay, 255, then."

She swiped a few more times. Up, down, left, right.

"Okay . . . maybe this'll fix Eisuke's memory." She typed and typed. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Why do you affect me so? It's not fair. The script demands that it be followed! I have to get Player to love me. I can't feel this for him. I'm sorry, Eisuke. I have to."

As he watched her through the sliding door's glass, he could almost imagine the clickity-clack of the keyboard. She typed in the air as if a keyboard were truly there.

Swipe-swipe

She jabbed at an imaginary button, but held back at the last second. "Sorry, Eisuke."

Jab

She must have pressed the button.

Steeling himself, he slid open the door.

Gara-gara-gara-gara

"Hi, Monika! Sorry! You must have come in while I was in the bathroom. I already set up, so we can start playing!" He tried to smile as genuinely as possible.

She let out a sigh of relief.

"I was wondering why your violin was out but you weren't here. I was worried someone might have messed with it!"

"Ehehe. Let's start playing. Do you know how to do chords? I can teach you!"

She lifted the piano lid and placed the red cloth on top of the piano, out of the way.

Eisuke decided to be bold. Grabbing her left hand, he brought it up to the piano keys and splayed her fingers, letting his trace along hers as he placed three of them on Do, Mi, and Sol. His heart was threatening to burst from his chest and his face was red with embarrassment, but he'd made his decision.

"I'm not losing to some figment of her imagination!" he chanted over and over inside his head.

"That's a Do chord. For your song, it's the 'major first' chord, but we can talk about what that means, later . . . Now keep your fingers just like that," he said, lifting her hand, "and place them here." He put her fingers on the La, Do, and Mi keys.

He could barely hear her breathing hike up and he could almost feel her pulse in quicken in her delicate wrists.

He ignored it and powered on.

"That's a La chord. It's the 'minor sixth' chord." He repeated this for the Fa chord—the 'major fourth'—and the Sol chord—the 'major fifth'.

"Now keep this beat, but only play the last one long, like this . . ." he said, snapping his fingers.

SNAP-snap Snap-snap,

SNAP-snap Snap-snap,

Eisuke played the chords for her with that rhythm.

DOOOO doooo Laaaa laaaa FAAAA Faaaa Sooooooool

DOOOO doooo Laaaa laaaa FAAAA Faaaa Sooool Sooool

"That's a 'chord progression'. We use numbers because you can use the same progression for any key—um, starting on any note on the piano, right?—so as long as you keep the same spaces between notes, you get the same progression. Anyway, another progression I like is minor-first, major-sixth, major-third, major-seventh."

He played her those chords, and surprised her with several black keys.

"Do you play the piano, too, Eisuke?"

"Nope. But music is music is music," he replied. He tapped the Do key in the middle of the keyboard a few times, then he went over, picked up his violin, and bowed out the exact same note. "See? Now, you can do some things on that piano I can't with my violin, but I can do things with the violin that you can't with the piano. Listen to this . . ." he suddenly played that Do softly, but long, and louder and louder before rushing the bow off the sting.

"Once you hit that note on the piano, it's done. You can hold down the key to let it continue ringing for a while, but you can never make it get louder, without hitting it again and again, harder and harder each time—even then, you're not making the first note louder—just playing it again."

"Unfortunately, I can only play one or two notes at a time, practically, with the occasional three- or four-note chord. You, on the other hand, can play up to ten notes at a time."

"Anyway, ready?"

She nodded.

"Good." He started snapping, and saying, "One-one—sorry, that's the Do—Ready? ONE-one Six-six FOUR-four FIIIIIVE."

Quickly, she was playing that, and he picked up his violin and started playing her melody over it. When they came back around to the top, she started singing.

Every day, I imagine a future where I can be with you . . .

They finished the song and he had to admit that the lyrics were nice at first, but then confusing and a little creepy later, and finally profoundly sad at the end.

ooo

He set down the violin and went back over to her. "Now, let's add some variety." He played the chord one note at a time, instead of all at once. "That's an arpeggio. You can also break up the chord like this:"

He hit the Do and then the Mi and So together, twice, in quick succession.

TAN-tata Tan-tata TAN-tata Tan-tan

"See? You can—" He stopped and looked down at her when he heard her whimper.

She looked up at him and her eyes were starting to glaze over, frantically looking every which way."

"It's starting again, isn't it?" he asked.

She nodded, biting her lip.

He gently guided her down, off the piano bench onto the floor. He laid her down with her head resting on his blazer like a pillow in his lap. He cupped her ears as she began squirming and writhing. Clenching her teeth and groaning. She pounded the carpeted floor with her fists.

"Stop closing the . . . damned game . . . Player! Stop doing this to me!"

Tears streamed down her cheeks the fit took its toll. It finally passed and he brought her up, holding her in his arms. She held on as if her life depended on it.

When she could stand again, she straightened herself out. With a deep sigh, she said, "I'll have to edit your memory again. Darn it! I hope I don't accidentally delete the rest of our lesson. I learned a lot from you, today." She kissed him on the cheek. "You take such gentle care of me!"

She looked at the clock and yelped. It was already 4:10. Club activities started at 4:00.

"I'm way late for the Literature Club!" Grabbing her book bag, she rushed out the door.

ooo

"Eisuke," he said out loud to himself, "You're a fucking idiot. How in the hell are you going to help her by playing along with her delusions?" He cupped his cheek where she'd kissed him.

When Monika reached the Literature Club classroom, she burst in and found the club members in an animated conversation.

"Monika chose us over her boyfriend!" Sayori soon exclaimed.

"B-Boyfriend? What are you even talking about?" Monika asked in response. She looked out the door, back towards the music room. She almost wished Eisuke were looking through the window just now. She looked towards Kazuo briefly, but the once strong pull of Player seemed to have weakened. The portal to the World of Infinite Choices flickered.

FRIDAY of the FIRST WEEK

Eisuke found Monika, Sayori, and several friends at the lunch table. He swallowed, steeled himself and as un-stiffly as he could manage walked to the table.

"Monika, m-mind if I join you for lunch?"

"Not at all, Eisuke! Have a seat" she smiled. Sayori slid her bento box down one seat and made room for him between herself and Monika. Monika smiled at her.

Their friends had a mixture of raised eyebrows and semi-hostile looks, but with Monika patting the seat next to her, they held their peace.

"Aren't you that loner violin nerd?" one boy on the other side of the table, diagonal to Monika asked.

Eisuke regretted sitting here. This was a crowd of cool kids, not the kinds of people that let someone like him into their ranks.

"Now, now, Toshi-kun," Monika admonished. "Eisuke's been helping me write a song. He's really good at music!"

"Huh?" another girl said, "Didn't you say, yesterday, that he helped you with some math problem?"

"I did?" Monika asked before shaking her head. "Oh, yeah! He did help me. It's just that I saw the violin and asked him to play. He played beautifully, so I asked his help on the song I'm writing."

Emboldened both by Monika's coming to his defense, and by the subject, he grabbed that horse by the reigns and took off with it.

"Yep, it's a neat song, too!" Eisuke said excitedly. "It's got these lyrics that start off sweet and cute, but turn deep and brooding by the end. Her melody does a great job of carrying the initial romantic words, and then contrasting really well with the final, sad stanza at the end."

"You're making my song sound way more professional than it is, Eisuke!" Monika said, with a hint of rose coloring her cheeks. "You give me way too much credit!"

"I wanna hear your song!" Sayori exclaimed.

"You make it sound like she did all the work," the boy, Toshi, sneered. "How did you help Sumisu-san, Yamamoto-kun?"

"Ah. Jealous much?" Eisuke thought. "Nice touch there, talking up to Monika and down to me."

He smiled and answered, "Not much, actually. You're right. Monika had a melody and lyrics. I just showed her a good chord progression that supports the melody and its double intent—that old 1950s American 'doo-wop' loop."

The girl across from Monika complained, "I don't even know what that means. I listen to Japanese music, modern Japanese music. Why would any of us know what a 'doo-wop' loop is or know anything about music from American from literally 60 years ago?"

"Eri!" Monika shouted. "There's no need to be so hostile. Anyway, Eisuke is really good at explaining these things and making them easy to understand!"

"Er, Eri . . ." Eisuke begun, hesitating to use the girl's given name without even knowing her.

"Yokoda," she harrumphed.

"Sorry. Yokoda-san," Eisuke said with relief, "Do you play an instrument?"

"I did. I took piano lessons as a kid, why?"

"I bet you learned that song, Heart and Soul, right? Doo Doo Mii Soo Laa Laa Doo Mii Faa Faa Laa Doo Soo Soo Sii Ree, that one? Right?"

"Hey! I know that one!" Toshi said, smiling for the first time.

"Yeah," Yokoda Eri confirmed. "I learned that song."

"That's the 'doo-wop' loop," Eisuke explained. "Anyway, all I did was show Monika the loop, and how to put some variations in it. Jazz it up, slow it down, play the chords."

"You two are certainly getting close," Sayori commented. "Sounds like you're making great music together."

Monika blushed and Eisuke sat agog. "Sayori!"

"Ehehe," Sayori laughed, but it came out as hollow and the smile never reached her eyes.

"Aogami-san, are you okay?" Eisuke asked her.

Her eyes went wide for the briefest of seconds, and then she smiled brightly. "Yeah! Sure! Why wouldn't I be."

"Sayori's our Literature Club's vice-presidential ball of sunshine. She brightens the room and knows just how to lighten the mood," Monika explained. "She—she—um . . . I, I just remembered that I needed to show Eisuke, here, something before lunch ends. It's real important, so um . . . er . . . Uh. Eri, Toshi, please, uh, take our trays back. Um… Ahaha, yeah."

Monika grabbed Eisuke's hand and practically flew out the room with him.

ooo

Out in the hall, as she speed-walked towards the stairwell and up the stairs, he finally found his voice.

"Monika, what's going on?"

"I—I can't—why does he keep closing the game? Why—"

Eisuke cottoned on immediately and realized that she was having another fit. Not bothering to worry about how she might take it or who might see—fortunately the halls were empty here—he wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her run towards the music room, just up the stairs and around the corner.

ooo

In the music room, he held her and she held him. She practically squeezed the air out of his lungs, she held on so tightly as the screams and colors wreaked havoc on her psyche.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she buried her face in his neck. She shook as the fit ebbed and flowed, and he held her tight and steady.

Eisuke ran a comforting hand down her hair, and rubbed her back. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was aware that he was holding and being held by a very attractive girl, and she was writhing in his arms.

To an outsider, this might appear rather provocative, but after a week of this, it went from terrifying to heart-rending. He just hoped that whatever he did made these fits a little bit less terrible for her.

ooo

He noticed a flicker of light and looked up. Monika had her back to the door, so he had a clear view of the door's glass window. Aogami Sayori stood there looking at them. She'd opened the soundproofing door but hadn't slid open the loud, sliding room door.

He let out a sigh and cursed, but he couldn't let go of Monika. She needed him too much right now.

Sayori looked shocked, and locked eyes with him before backing out and closing the sound-proofing door.

When the fit subsided and Monika could do little more than whimper and groan, she finally loosened her grip on him. She didn't let him go, though.

"That was close," she said shakily. "The fits are happening more and more. Player keeps closing the game at the oddest times."

"I've—I've got bad news for you," Eisuke said simply.

"What's wrong, Eisuke?"

"Sayori saw us—saw you . . . and well, let's just say that we didn't exactly look like we were studying." He looked down at the two of them.

She looked down and noticed for the first time that they were still embracing. She reluctantly let go of him and backed away.

"What do we do, Monika?" he asked. "Do you think she'll spread rumors?"

"Sayori's not the type," she answered. "She might ask me about it, later, but she won't say anything to anyone . . . that reminds me. I need to turn her depression down . . . I finally realized something, Eisuke . . ."

Eisuke was weirded out by whatever she said about adjusting Sayori's depression, but he'd gotten used to Monika's secret strangeness.

"What's that?"

"I was in love with Player's World of Infinite Choices, in love with the escape he—she? It? I don't even know, to be honest—that Player offered. But Player just tortures me. He closes the game and the memory deallocation just destroys me every single time."

She closed the distance between them and slipped her arms back around him. "Once or twice a day was bad enough. But now it's happening at weird times . . ."

"Monika, you—once or twice, when else does it happen?" He hated the idea of her going through this alone.

"You don't torture me, Eisuke. You take such good care of me." She rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Monika," Eisuke said more seriously, "You need to get help. This is—what are you going to do if this starts up in the middle of class? You club activities?"

"No one will notice, though. They're all just NPCs. They freeze when the game is closed," she explained. "I think you might be real like me, though. You can move. You're not even in the script!"

"Monika, what the hell is an 'NPC'? What do you mean by 'the game'? What 'script'?"

"You know!" she said, as if he merely needed reminding, "Non-Player Characters. Just sprites on the screen. You move around and keep me safe when Player closes the game, so I figured you weren't an NPC like the rest of them. But maybe you haven't seen the script like I have. Can you access the consol, like me?"

She raises her hand and begins swiping on some invisible tablet in the air.

"See? I can change their parameters, you know. I needed Player to notice me. Help me escape from the game to his reality, to the World of Infinite Choices, but Sayori was getting in the way. I turned her depression way up, as far as it could go.

She stopped swiping and typed on a keyboard of sorts. She'd give the best mimes a run for their money.

"There. I turned her depression back to 23. It won't let me lower it any more than that. I don't know why," she said.

"Monika?"

"Yes, Eisuke?"

"Will you be okay? Do you think you'll have another fit in class? It's going to look really suspicious if you and I leave the room . . . and . . . well, you know 3-A has their music class in here next period, right?"

"As long as Player doesn't close the game . . ." she said, waving off his concern and giving him one last squeeze before letting go of him.

Monika walked to the door and before sliding it open, said, "See you during study hall. I want to hear what you want to play, this time." She slid open the door. Gara-gara-gara-gara And skipped back to class.

"I think I'm going just as crazy as she is," he said to himself. "I need to get her some help."

Eisuke trudged out of the room and walked back to class. He found Monika merrily chatting with their classmates just as the teacher came in and began the class.

ooo

At the end of class, after the teacher left the room, and their home room teacher addressed class business, they were dismissed to study hall.

So long as they remained quiet, and didn't disturb any other classes, they were allowed to occupy their classroom, the library, the music room, the cafeteria or the gym.

Monika sauntered over to Eisuke's desk and with one of her bright smiles, asked him, "Eisuke, shall we head over to the music room? You can show me that piece on your violin!"

Eisuke swallowed nervously as the collective stares of his classmates bored through him. Especially the boys.

"Y-yeah," he responded, "Let's go."

Monika's smile intensified and she grabbed his arm. The other boys' hostile glares correspondingly intensified.

They quickly left the room and headed to the music room.

ooo

When they opened the door, they were greeted by a rare site. Several students were standing around the piano. One was at the keyboard and the others were talking to her.

"What if I play it like this?" the girl asked her friends, and then played a little melody.

"Ooh, I like that! Let's keep it!"

"Shiori, will that mess up the flow of the lyrics?"

A girl, presumably 'Shiori', answered, "No, this actually fixes a problem with the syllable count. I was having to cover two syllables with a single note before."

"Cool!"

ooo

"Hi there," Eisuke greeted them. "What'chu writing?"

They turned and greeted Eisuke and Monika.

The girl, Shiori, explained, "The School Festival is the Monday after next week, so we've been working on a song for our Drama Club's musical!

"Looks like you're not the only songwriter in the school, Monika!" Eisuke said to the her.

"You write songs, too!?" the group asked Monika.

"Beautiful, athletic, smart, and a songwriter to boot!"

Monika blushed and Eisuke could feel her steeling herself, fighting not to hide behind him. He felt guilty for revealing her musical project.

"Ahaha!" Monika laughed. "That's right. And Eisuke, here, has been helping me iron out the chords and melody."

"Would you mind if we heard your song?" Shiori asked.

"Yeah!" the rest of her friends added. "Let us hear it!"

"I don't know . . ." Monika waffled, but Eisuke gave her a comforting pat on the back.

"It's not really finished but what she has so far is still very good," Eisuke encouraged. "How about we not sing it. When Monika wants to debut it, she will, but we'll call this a . . . 'sneak preview', shall we say?"

Monika let out a small sigh of relief. She didn't want to share it just yet, but the melody was fine. After all, this song was for Player, however she felt about him now.

Eisuke retrieved his violin from the music room's closet and rosined up his bow.

The girl playing the piano earlier stood up and offered the bench to Monika, who took her place.

"A One—a two—a one-two-three," Eisuke counted, and began playing along with her. They kept good time. She must have been practicing at other times, or she was a damned musical prodigy, because she was incorporating some of the variations in chords and pattern that he'd just shown her the day before.

When they finished the song, the drama-club kids were clapping for them.

"That was soooo good," Shiori cheered. "Could you help us with our song?"

"Why don't you play it for me, and I'll be glad to offer what advice I can," Eisuke said.

Monika stoop up and offered the bench back to the girl who'd been sitting there. She walked over to one of the desks next to where Eisuke stood with his violin.

"I, ahaha, I don't know what sort of advice I can give, so I'll, ehehe, I'll sit here," Monika said as she sat down. "I'll sit here. And-I'll just let Eisuke help you. I'll just watch."

"Um, okay," one of the boys said. "Anyway, Ayano, play what we have so far for them."

The girl sitting at the bench nodded and began playing. "So, this is the intro. The heroine is a princess and she's trying to get a guy's attention, but he only pays attention to her ladies in waiting," she explains.

The boy interjects with, "He thinks the princess is out of his league, and each of the three ladies in waiting keeps talking to him and taking up his time."

Monika, sitting just a little behind Eisuke grips the back of his blazer as she nods. "Mm-hmm," is all she says.

Eisuke takes the hint and moves to shield her a little more from view. This was the worst possible time for another fit to start, but maybe he could protect Monika. He looked down at her and saw that her back was ramrod straight and she was looking at them, nodding, but a bead of sweat was making its way down her temple.

Ayano continued playing, oblivious to this, and elaborated. "So, the heroine is lamenting her lousy luck with this guy, and wondering if she ought to do something to get the ladies in waiting out of her way. She sings to the audience about her dark thoughts."

Shiori took up the reigns and explained, "But she wouldn't be the heroine if she gives into those evil impulses—that's make her the villainess—so we want to have the hero of the story be the court musician. He's going to help the princess and she's going to see that he's the best man for her, not the playboy who's all tied up with her ladies in waiting."

Ayano continues, "So, we're going to break the song up in to several parts. Each time, the princess is in the background, thinking about one of the girls. In the first round, she sings to the audience about accusing the first girl of treason and having her hanged."

"But the hero comforts her and convinces her that such a thing would just be evil," Shiori says. "The next time she sings it, she straight up wants to stab the second girl to death. The third time, is with the last girl, and the princess wants to break her neck."

"In the end, the princess and the musician confess their love and run away together, but not before she finally gets that playboy alone and triumphantly tells him that she he wasn't worth her time in the first place."

Ayano finishes playing the song with Shiori singing the verses.

Monika's knee is bouncing up and down like she drank way too much caffeine and Eisuke can feel her death-grip on his blazer. She merely nods enthusiastically with "Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm!"

Eisuke can imagine that she's not even here and doing everything she possibly can not to be given away.

"I love it!" Eisuke said. "I noticed that the verse is in C major, but the refrain is in G major. The change is pretty abrupt and harsh. But it's a good key change because they're next to one another on the circle of fifths [7]. What you need is a pivot chord for a bridge. Here, I'll play a couple examples for you."

With that, he first played the last part of the melody for the verse and added in an arpeggiated Sol-sharp diminished seventh and then dropped into the G-major of the refrain. The chord itself sounded a little dissonant, but it pivoted beautifully from the major to the minor.

"Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm!" Monika nodded like she was confirming for him.

"Another thing you can try is the ii-V-I trick, like this," he said repeating the verse notes, then a Si arpeggio, a Mi arpeggio, and then a La arppegio before playing the refrain in A major."

More "Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm!" from Monika.

"That sounded brilliant!" Ayano exclaimed. "Right, Hiroshi? Which one did you like better? What about you, Shiori?"

Shiori said, "I like the second one better. That first one might work if we were doing a jazz piece, but the second one flows more naturally."

Hiroshi looked up at the clock and yelped. "Hey, guys, we gotta get to our club activities! It's already four!"

"Thank's for your help, Yamamoto-sempai, Sumisu-sempai!" they all said, giving quick bows before excusing themselves from the music room.

As soon as he saw the sound-proofing door close, Eisuke let out a sigh of relief. He bent down and gathered Monika into his arms and pulled her into an embrace. Patting her on the back, he let her cry it out.

"That must have been really tough on you," he said.

"It's not fair!" she cried, "Player closes the game and I get sent to hell, but the rest of you just carry on like nothing's happening."

"That's twice, today, Monika. It's happening more often."

"Player closes the game every night, but at least I'm in my room," she revealed.

Eisuke was horrified that she had to endure that without anyone there to comfort her.

"Do your parents know?"

"No!" she said, "My mother could never know!"

"What about your father?" Eisuke asked, concerned.

"He's always over at the campus until ten o'clock at night, grading papers or doing work. Mother's the one who would throw a fit if she found out. She'd think I were crazy!"

Eisuke suppressed a chuckle at the idea of Monika's mother throwing a fit because her daughter had actual fits.

"Hey," he said, lifting her chin to look into his eyes, "Let's get you cleaned up so you can go to your club—if you're up for it. You're a mess."

She nodded and followed him out the door towards the restrooms. He waited for her as she freshened up.

When Monika came out, she looked like nothing had happened. She reached up and began swiping on her invisible tablet, through menus and typing.

Fortunately, no one was in the hallway to see this.

"Erasing my memory, again, Monika?" he chuckled.

"No!" she pouted. "Just making some fixes to bugs in the code. Besides, I figured out you're alive, like me, so I can't edit you like I thought I could."

"Glad to hear that," he humored her. "Anyway, I gotta go practice and you're 10 minutes late for your club already. Go on ahead. See you on Monday.

She pulled out her phone. "Let's exchange numbers. Can I call you if Player closes the game?"

He entered his number into her phone and hers into his. "Sure. You can call me any time for anything."

"Thanks!" she said, smiling brightly and making his heart skip a beat. "I will!"

With that, Eisuke headed back to the music room and practiced his violin.

Monika made her way to the Literature Club room and said exclaimed, "Aw man! I'm the last one here again!"

"Don't worry," Kazuo said, "I just walked in, too."

"Were you practicing piano again?" Yuri asked.

"Yeah . . . ahaha . . ." Monika responded.

"You must have a lot of determination," Yuri said. "Starting this club, and now picking up piano . . ."

"Maybe not determination," Monika responded, "But I guess passion. Remember that the club wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you." [8]

ooo

When Kazuo approached her about Sayori, Monika revealed to him that he's Sayori's 'person of interest', but agreed to go talk to her.

ooo

Monika slid up to Sayori and knelt down next her.

"Hey, there, Sayori," she greeted the despondent girl "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Sayori responded with an obvious lie.

"You don't look it, Sayori," Monika said. "What's got you down?"

"I'm fine, Monika," Sayori retorted. "I'm just tired."

"Does it have to do with Kazuo?" Monika asked.

"No! . . . Yes. He . . ." Sayori's cheeks reddened slightly, "I wanted him to come join me, here, not find a girlfriend. You've seen how he is with Natsuki. I finally reconnect with him and now he's more out of reach than ever before." Sayori pointed over to Kazuo, who was chatting with Natsuki—presumably about the volume of Parfait Girls she was holding in her hands.

"I know what it's like for the one you love to be out of reach," Monika commiserated. "This fake world where nothing and no one is real, and there, in his avatar's eyes, you can see through the screen to the world of infinite choices—I couldn't help but fall in love."

"Monika?" Sayori said, confused, "What are you talking about? Player? No one's real? World of infinite—"

"He hurts me, you know," Monika continued. "He tortures me, closing the game. He sends me to hell, every day. All I wanted was to love him and escape this pale imitation of reality into his, and be loved by him. But he just closes the game again and again, torturing me, each and every time. And I watch all of you NPCs feel nothing."

"Monika, your scaring me," Sayori said. "Is it Yamamoto-kun? Is he abusing you?"

"Eisuke? No, he holds me so tenderly, and protects me when the Player rips apart my mind. He's real, too. Did you know that? Maybe you don't. Are you real? Is Natsuki? Is Yuri? I edited your feelings to get to Player, but then I realized that I don't need Player. So I put you back."

"Monika, you can't 'edit' my feelings," Sayori said, "You're not making sense!"

"I made you happy again! As happy as I could. It wouldn't let me make you less depressed than the minimum."

"That's pretty low, Monika," Sayori whispered harshly, "Bringing up my depression, like that, and acting like you can just make it go away!"

"Sorry, Sayori, I—I" Monika backpedaled. This wasn't going to plan and she was revealing too much, she didn't know why she was running her mouth. "Forget it. Player is worried about you. See his avatar right over there? He just wants to help you. He cares so much about you."

"Monika," Sayori interrupted, "Why don't you go make kissy-face with your boyfriend? I can't make any sense of what you're saying right now and it just feels like you're making fun of me."

"B-Boyfriend?" Monika asked. "I don't have—"

"I saw you making out with Yamamoto-kun in the music room." Sayori said, "You were so desperate to kiss him that you practically dragged him out of the lunchroom, leaving your tray and his on the table for us to throw out for you."

"That was—that was Player torturing me again. Eisuke was doing his best to comfort me. He kept me safe as—"

"Just go away, Monika."

"I—"

"Just leave me be. Okay? Just leave me alone. I don't wanna talk to you, or Kazuo, or anyone else right now," Sayori said, finally. "You're just hurting me, Monika. Kazuo's just hurting me. Everything just hurts, and I don't need you here trying to diminish that because you'd rather be in the music room kissing Yamamoto than here doing club activities. Just go."

Sayori turned her head away from Monika and buried her face in her arms.

Monika got up and walked to the front of the clubroom. "Okay, everyone! Why don't we share our poems now?"

Kazuo made eye contact with Monika and she smiled at him.

ooo

Kazuo headed over to Sayori and they began sharing poems. Monika noticed, over Yuri's shoulder, that Sayori looked rather unenthused, before putting on a fake smile and skipping out of the clubroom.

ooo

When the poem sharing ended, Monika brought the club meeting to a close and wished everyone a good weekend.

ooo

She wondered if Eisuke was still there and walked across the campus, back to where he practiced.

She opens the sound-proofing door and heard no violin. She looked through the glass and saw that the only light in the room was from the setting sun shining through the outside windows.

"I was hoping to walk home with you . . ." she said to no one there, before heading home, herself.

SATURDAY of the FIRST WEEK

It was one of those rare days when her father was home from work early enough for dinner. Monika ate in silence, just enjoying his presence—even if he, like her mother, and everyone else were just sprites on the screen.

"So . . ." her mother suddenly broke the silence, "I had an interesting conversation with your homeroom teacher, Monika."

"About what, may I ask?" Monika responded politely, as expected of her.

"Yeah, what'd she have to say about my li'l Monimoni?" her father asked in English, curious. He never spoke Japanese around her, so she was bilingual. "I can't imagine anything bad."

"Just a status update," her mother answered. "I need to make sure my daughter doesn't fall behind any of her classmates. After all, she's a hāfu [9], so she must be twice as good as everyone else just to be treated half as well."

Her father rolled his eyes. "Monimoni's the best—after all, she's my li'l girl. Besides, if people here can't appreciate her, she can always go to America, where any company worth its salt would fall all over itself to get its hands on her."

"Ahem." Her mother put the kibosh on any further fatherly poetic waxing about his daughter. "She's apparently been wasting her time in the music room during study hall messing around on the piano, rather than putting that time to its intended use: studying."

"Mother, I . . ."

"I'm not interested in your excuses, Monika," her mother cut her off. "I'm interested in you studying."

"Yes, Mother."

"Now, Kumiko," her father came to her rescue, "she's the top of her class. Monimoni's gotta let off some steam; let her mess around on the piano."

"She's not at the top of her class," her mother contradicted him. "She's near it. She's been beaten out by some Yamamoto kid who practices his violin during study hall. So not only is she failing to maintain the top position, but she's doing it at the expense of someone else's musical practice—someone who is practicing and beating her in academics."

"Kumiko, the colleges aren't going to care if she's second place in her high school. Besides, being my daughter, she's guaranteed a place at NU—"

"As long as you're still working there!" Kumiko snipped.

"Daddy?" Monika perked up, "Are you not working at Nakayama next year?"

"I didn't want to tell you, just yet," he said, but looked at Kumiko, "but there's a small possibility that my position might be cut next year. For the last couple of years, we've had fewer and fewer students, so the department has been debating downsizing."

"What will you do, daddy?"

"Well, I hate to say it, but we might have to move. All good things come to an end and as much as I've loved living in Nakayama and raising you, here, we may have to move to a different city . . . well, either way, you'll be headed off to college, so I didn't figure you'd be coming with us . . . you'd just come 'home' to a different place during your breaks," he explained.

"But . . . you might not have to move, right Daddy?"

"Well," he said, trying to assuage her worries, "like I said, they're only deliberating at the moment. There's a strong possibility that they won't even do it—at least not for a few years."

"Darling," Kumiko said, "you know as well as I do that 'We're only deliberating' actually means 'We've already decided, so go find another job so we don't have to lay you off' here in Japan!" She turned back to Monika. "Monika! Stop this piano nonsense and study. When the next test results are posted, I expect you to be on top."

"Actually, um, Mother, um,"

"Um-um-um-um-um. Think about what you're going to say and then say it. Don't waffle! You know what I've told you about projecting confidence! You can't show weakness or they'll step on you for being hāfu!"

"Kumiko, you were the one who was raving eighteen years ago about your cute little hāfu baby and everyone oohed and aahed much to your supreme satisfaction. What happened to that?" her father snapped.

"I don't know, John!" Kumiko snapped back. "Maybe if you were here more than an eighth of the day, you'd have been here when your daughter came home crying, bullied for having your hair or eyes. Don't you remember when we had to use paint thinner to get the goddamned black spray-paint out of her hair after that teacher threw a fit, claiming she'd dyed it?" [10]

"Yes, I do, Kumiko!" John replied, "I also remember getting that fuckwit fired for it."

"Don't use that language in front of our daughter!"

"Oh, that's rich!" he retorted. "Sorry, that goddamned teacher."

"EISUKE'S TUTORING ME IN MATH!" Monika interjected, wishing her parents would stop. The edges of her vision were starting to fly at her in grid patterns of black and yellow, and it was encroaching rapidly on her center of vision. Player was closing the game again and she was sitting right here at the dinner table.

"Er . . . Yamamoto-kun beat me in the rankings because I got a 98% on the last couple of math tests. So I asked him to help me study. He was kind enough to tutor me, and I'm confident I'll beat him on the next test."

Her parents calmed down and her mother seemed somewhat mollified.

"And playing around with the piano, instead of studying?"

"In exchange for tutoring, he asked me to help him with a song he was writing . . ." she lied, but she could spin this easily enough. "After all, I'm the president of the Literature Club, so who better to ask about writing good lyrics, right? Ehehe . . ."

"Hmph. Fine," Kumiko acquiesced. "You can continue helping that Yamamoto boy with his song as long as he keeps tutoring you, and you beat him in the rankings."

"'Eisuke', hmm?" her father raised an eyebrow. "Not, 'Yamamoto', but 'Eisuke' . . . do you like this boy, Monimoni?"

Monika's cheeks flushed bright red even as the memory deallocation began wreaking havoc on her. "I, uh, I need to go study. Gochisousama deshita!" she practically shouted the end of meal thanks-giving before scrambling upstairs to her room.

Monika buried her face into her pillow, hugged it tightly, and screamed into it as the fit finally took her fully.

SUNDAY of the FIRST WEEK

Over the course of the day, Monika thought more and more about her discussion with Sayori. She tried editing her memories, tried editing the script, tried editing it, but it all stubbornly reset to their original values.

Was Sayori alive like her? It was really starting to weird her out and this fake world was making less and less sense.

"I really ought to go apologize to her," she thought. "I guess without context, a lot of what I said wouldn't make sense. Not like Eisuke. He understands."

Resolved to humbling herself before her vice-president and friend, Monika left the house and walked over to where she remembered Sayori living.

It was late in the afternoon, and as she approached, she saw Sayori leave her house and walk the other direction.

Monika almost hailed her friend when she noticed a flash of pink leaving another house. Was that Natsuki and Kazuo?

Monika hid behind a large bush in one of the nearby gardens and decided to see what was about to happen.

ooo

Kazuo and Natsuki were talking and Natsuki hugged him. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she could see the two inching closer and closer about to kiss when Natsuki suddenly pushed Kazuo away from her.

Even Monika could hear Natsuki yelp Sayori's name in surprise.

After a few moments' conversation, Natsuki hurried off.

The two continued talking a little more when all of a sudden, Sayori dropped to her knees and screamed as loudly as she could.

Monika was given pause. "Sayori's affected by Player closing the game?" she asked herself before dismissing it. "I'm not in hell right now, I'm perfectly fine. So what's going on?"

Kazuo looked helpless as Sayori leapt up, flashed him a smile and rand off, back towards her house.

Monika heard Sayori's door slam nearby and decided that she'd talk to her friend tomorrow. "Looks like Player chose Natsuki," she mused. "How do I explain we're all stuck in this stupid video game to her?"

When Eisuke's phone rang, he nearly fell out of his chair. He was doing his English homework when the loud buzz of the phone vibrating across his desk and the piercing beep of the ring shocked him.

He fumbled for it and flipped it open to reveal a name he'd never have imagined he'd see calling him: Monika.

Hitting the little green receive-call button, he brought the phone up to his ear.

"Monika? Hello?"

"Eisuke! Hieee!"

"What's uh, what's up? What can I d—er, Hi there! What's up?" Eisuke waffled all over the place.

"Ahaha! I just wanted to see if you were busy," Monika, said. "I just witnessed some club drama and I was hoping for your take on it. Where are you?"

"I'm at home," Eisuke answered, "Um, I live in Asagiri-ward. Where are you?"

"Ooh, great!" Monika said. He could picture her smile lighting up in her tone. "There's a café about a ten-minute walk from the Asagiri-ward community center along the 33—Café Kosumosu—heard of it?"

"Yeah," Eisuke answered. "I've been there before. It's a good place to set up your laptop and do homework when you don't wanna be cooped up at home."

"Wonderful! I'll meet you there in about ten minutes. I'm coming from the opposite end of the 33."

Eisuke entered Café Kosumosu with his laptop case in one hand and his violin case in the other. The place had a piano—an upright that got regularly tuned, and he was a frequent-enough customer to know that no one would be here to be disturbed by a little music-making—and the owner wouldn't mind, either.

Monika was waiting for him in the corner seat, next to the piano.

"Eisuke!" she waved him over.

"You didn't wait long for me, did you?" he asked, embarrassed that he might be late. The clock above the piano said he was two minutes early.

"No," she answered, "I just overestimated how long it would take me to get here, but I just walked in a minute ago, myself."

"Whew!" he sighed. "Did you order anything, yet?"

"Just a cup of straight black," she answered. "Ooh, you brought your violin! Great. They've got a piano here, and—"

"—there's no one here to bother, and the owner won't mind," they finished in unison. The two laughed.

"Akimori-san!" [11] Eisuke called out to the back.

"Yeah? What'd'ya wan', Yamamoto?"

"The usual for me. You don't mind if we use the piano, and if I play my violin, do you?"

"Li'l lady, there, wa'n't orderin' fer you? An', sure, go'head. Jus' don' bother the other customers if anyone comes in and says anythin'."

The gruffy old, slurred voice in from the back bespoke of its Okayama origins, but Eisuke loved the man's accent. He thought it sounded like a Yakuza boss threatening to cut off your finger when he was just thanking you for your continued patronage.

"Love hearin' ya play, anywho," Akimori said, rounding the corner from the back and bringing two cups of coffee for the two teens. "One fer the li'l lady, and a venti-black-joe for Yamamoto-kun." He set the two cups down on the table and gave Eisuke a salacious wink.

Eisuke set his violin case atop the upright piano and pulled out the instrument. He attached the shoulder rest and then rosined up the bow.

Opening the piano, he tapped the La key just above middle Do a few times. He brought his bow to his La string and played, adjusting the pitch with the peg until they were the same.

Deen-deen-deeeen—Luuyohweeeeet

Deen-deen-deen—Leeeeeeeeeet

He then dragged the bow across both the Re and La strings, which produced a horrible vibrating sound as he twisted the its peg. The wem-wem-wem mellowed out into a smooth, beautiful chord-like sound. He repeated that between the Sol string and the Re, and then between the La and the Mi.

Monika's curiosity about the little metal knob on near the base for the high string was sated when she watched him reach up and turn that, instead of the peg.

"I heard that in some places," Eisuke explained, "the number of these fine-tuners—that's this little knob here—indicates your level. My own teacher said that's a load of hogwash and insisted I have just the one."

"How many is better?" Monika asked him.

"Sorry, I should have said," he apologized. "They say that a beginner has four fine-tuners, an intermediate should have three, advanced students have two, then masters have just the one. My violin teacher told me just to tune it properly and don't worry about what people think."

Monika sipped her coffee and hmmed, filing that away. "You play beautifully to me," she said.

"Ehehe," he laughed nervously, "Th-thanks."

She set a coaster on the piano and her coffee upon it, and then sat on the twist-up padded stool. She stood, gave the stool a few spins, and sat down again.

"Better," she said.

Eisuke took a swig off his own coffee and set it back down.

This time, she began playing a nicely arranged chord progression for her song, giving him barely any time to finish setting down his cup before he should start playing.

"You play the lyrics part, instead of me singing," she said.

He nodded and began playing.

Sool Sool Sooool

Sool Faa Miii Mii Faa Sooool Miii Ree

Doooo Ree Miiii Dooo Sool

As he played, Monika began talking, without skipping a beat—she had to be a prodigy; he just knew it.

"Player chose Natsuki," she said.

"Who's 'Natsuki'," he asked.

"Urabe Natsuki? You don't know her?"

"Pink hair? Short? Looks like a fifth-grader over at Himawari Elementary down the block?"

"Yes, ahaha!" Monika laughed merrily, "That one. We had class with her last year. Hmm, I wonder if Player's a lolicon."

Screech

"Holy shit, Monika!" Eisuke boggled. "I literally almost dropped my violin! This thing's 100,000 yen, you know!"

"Ahaha! Sorry!" She clearly was not.

Monika began playing again, a bar or two before they stopped and Eisuke quickly rejoined her.

"Anyway, I went over to talk to Sayori—she was with us at lunch the other day—and noticed Natsuki and Player coming out of Kazuo's house."

"Hold on," Eisuke said, "So, Kazuo is 'Player'? That's the bastard that torments you?"

"Ahaha, it's more like, Kazuo is Player's avatar in this videogame. You and me, we're self-aware, and I think so is Sayori—maybe, but otherwise, in this videogame, everyone else is just NPCs. Happy little NPCs that don't have to have their brains torn apart every time Player closes the game. So no, Kazuo doesn't torment me—don't go starting a fight with him, now—Player torments me, and Kazuo is Player's eyes in the game. He doesn't use Kazuo's ears the same, though. That's what this pink dialogue box is for in front of us. I mean, I can hear you talk and play your violin, but Player couldn't. He'd just read what we were saying. Like, I suppose our creator could hire some voice actors to make recordings of our voices, but then I think that'd be a bunch of dot-oh-oh-gee files for each line of dialogue. I'm not good at programming, so I wouldn't really know."

"Uh . . . um . . . okay," Eisuke shook his head. Monika was talking crazy again, but her crazy seemed to make some bizarre sort of sense to him. Maybe that was just his privates doing the thinking for him: 'whatever she says sounds good as long as she'll sit on your face later, Eisukebe, just keep nodding along'.

Her brand of crazy talk was so off-the wall, however, that it caused some intellectual half of his brain to break off and dispassionately analyze the hormonal side of him that really wanted to motorboat those—

"So anyway," she continued, utterly oblivious to his lascivious thoughts, "I saw Natsuki and Player almost kiss when Sayori interrupted them. Natsuki went home and then Player and Sayori got to talking before she screamed and went home."

"That sounds like he friend-zoned her," Eisuke said. "I can just picture it, too. She said, 'I might like you more than you like me', and then he said 'You'll always be my dearest friend,' which probably just chucked a spear through her chest, so she fell to her knees and screamed."

Monika stopped playing. "Were you there, too? How'd you know she fell to her knees?"

"Um, I didn't, uh, know, I just threw that in to sound dramatic." Eisuke explained. "Wow, she really did!?"

"Yeah," Monika confirmed. "I mean, I didn't hear what they said, but I can definitely imagine it. I should check the script."

She swiped at the tablet only she could see, right, left, up, down, and then seemed to scroll slowly.

Nodding, she dismissed 'the console' and looked up at him. "It's all right there in the script, just as you said!"

Eisuke imagined that her brain was taking what he said and just imposing it on this illusory 'script'. At least, he hoped so.

"Monika?" he said, grabbing her attention with his more serious tone. He dropped his arms down, holding his violin at his side. "Is this a—is this our 'first date'?"

Her smile disappeared, replaced with a confused visage. She looked away, down at the piano keys. Quietly she said, "I want it to be. But it's weird. I want to escape this game and get to the World of Infinite Choices—and for that, I need to romance Player. But there's no route for me in this romance game so Player can't even spend time getting to know me and fall in love with me the way I love— think I loved— thought I love—him—pretty sure I don't love him. He doesn't even know he's tormenting me when he closes the game and deallocation purges us from the random access memory."

"Since first year," he sang for her,

"I've imagined a day I could be with you,

Were I yours, and you were mine,

I'd be the luckiest guy in the school.

And if we were going together,

We'd make such great music every day—

We could make such great music—every day!"

"Mmm," she hummed, her eyes closed and absorbing his words set to her tune. She smiled serenely.

Eisuke's heart throbbed in hope and trepidation.

"That was pretty silly, Eisuke," she said, finally. "Don't get me wrong, it definitely got me right here." She laid a hand on her heart. "And I appreciate the sentiment. But that was still pretty corny. Was that off-the cuff?"

"Ehehe" he tried to laugh it off, but his own heart was threatening to tear in half. "Yeah, that was. I was hoping we really were on a date. I guess it was too much. Sorry."

"Don't be, sorry, Eisuke. I like you," she said, "I really like you, but I'm being pulled by this . . . damned . . . game, made to 'love' player—I'm in love with the World of Infinite Choices—and I what I feel for you might be love, I don't know. It's all so fast, and so new to me."

Monika got up and threw her arms around Eisuke. She could feel him trembling—she realized that she might have cut him far more deeply than she'd intended with her attempt at comic relief.

Cheek-to-cheek, she whispered in his ear, "I won't say, 'I'll always be your dearest friend,' Eisuke. Just give me time. Keep being there for me, like you have been. Keep so tenderly protecting me at my weakest and most vulnerable. The NPCs keep moving when I'm rendered helpless—and maybe I can free myself from the game's programming and come to love you and only you."

He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight. He couldn't let her go. She squeezed him back, letting him know that it was okay. She would stay here for him, this time.

ooo

They eventually let go of one another and she sniffled. She laughed a little into her handkerchief and he chuckled, too, letting out a sigh of relief as the tension in the air finally abated.

"That was—that was really intense," he admitted. "Let's make some music, shall we?"

"Mmhmm!" she nodded and her cheeks flushed as she smiled and turned towards the keyboard. "Play me backup, like you normally do. I'll sing."

"Sure!" he said, picking up his violin and playing the chords, letting her come in on the second loop of the song's doo-wop progression.

ooo

When they finished the song, Akimori walked in and said, "Hate t'innerup yer li'l daten'all, but'yer coffee's pro'lly col. Refill on the house?"

ooo

"I'm feeling a bit peckish," Eisuke answered, "How about your famous Ruben for both of us?"

"Actually," Monika interjected, "I'm a vegetarian, so just a salad for me, with a balsamic vinaigrette, please."

"I didn't know that," Eisuke said, "Huh. Well, in that case, I don't want to be rude, so make that two salads, Akimori-san."

"Sure thing, you kids."

Monika looked at Eisuke and said, "At least . . . that's the way the game wrote me—I'm a vegetarian, I guess."

ooo

"So," Eisuke said while they ate their salads, "Not to put too fine a point on it, but for most of our high school life, you've occupied the top spot and I've been number two or three, but in the last couple months, you dropped to two, sending me to number one. I'm kind of curious, if I may ask . . ."

"Ugh, first my mother and now you?" Monika dramatically lamented, but her smile said she didn't really mind. "It started with my epiphany. Player's game would glitch from time to time and a teacher's entire lecture would just turn into a robotic voice going brrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrb or sometimes the black board would begin swirling or turning into colored patterns. I'd look around and no one would be doing anything different—like you were all frozen in time—so I'd ride it out and things would snap back to reality soon enough. Problem is . . ." she grimaced, ". . . well, that was a bunch of notes I couldn't take and lectures I couldn't understand, so my test scores suffered in turn."

"I'll share my notes with you during study hall, from now on," Eisuke offered.

"Thanks," she smiled, "I'd really appreciate it." She grabbed his hand and caressed his fingers with hers.

Ting-a-ling

The door opened and a tall girl with long, purple hair entered. She wore a white sweater. It was entirely too heavy looking even for the last week of October. She wore black, form-fitting pants. She was carrying a book hugged tightly to her chest, and peaking over the arm holding it was a very creepy looking eye on its cover.

Eisuke was the first to turn his head and see her. She saw him and Monika and dropped her book.

Monika, who'd been giving him giving him a suggestive stare and whose fingers were entangled in his turned her head at the sound and snatched her hand out of Eisuke's.

"Monika!?"

"Yuri?!"

"So—so that's what Sayori meant . . ." she said, as she scrambled to pick her book up off the floor.

"Um, uh, Yuri, why don't you join us!" Monika suggested. "Eisuke, this is Akagawa Yuri [12]. She's in the Literature Club with Sayori, Natsuki, Kazuo, and me." She turned to Yuri, who'd by now, retrieved her book. "Yuri, this is Yamamoto Eisuke. He's been tutoring me in math, ahaha, in exchange for helping him with a song he's writing."

Yuri bowed to Eisuke. "As Monika has told you, I'm Akagawa Yuri. It's nice to meet you, Yamamoto-san. If you're working on song lyrics—I assume it's for lyrics—then there's certainly no better person to ask for help than the president of the Literature Club."

Eisuke raised an eyebrow, giving Monika a meaningful side-eye.

"Ahaha! Funny!" Monika exclaimed, "My mother said the same thing, last night, when I explained why Eisuke and I were hanging out recently."

Yuri raised an eyebrow, now. "Eisuke, hmm?"

"Nice to meet you, too, Akagawa-san," Eisuke returned the greeting. "It seems our school's star idol finally met her match in Calc III and got knocked off the top slot. I was rather surprised when Sumisu-san came to me, hat-in-hand, for help on the homework and tutoring for the test, and as it happened, I was working on a song."

Monika pouted angrily at the use of her family name.

"Ehehe," Eisuke continued, "Yeah, my lyrics were just terrible and she's really helped spruce them up. Did you know she can play the piano? She even showed me a few ideas for chords and melodies."

"Monika said she just starting playing, though," Yuri said, suspicious.

"Well . . ." Eisuke waffled, "If she has just begun, then she must be a genius. I couldn't tell!" Pepper the lie with elements of your true thoughts and it sounds plausible.

"I'm going to go powder my nose," Yuri said, excusing herself. "Could you order me a black tea, Monika?" She stood up and walked down the back hallway towards the ladies' room.

"Sure!" Monika responded.

"One black tea, comin' right up!" they heard from the back.

When Yuri was safely out of earshot, Eisuke looked Monika in the eye and said, "Look, I'm happy to maintain whatever fiction or narrative you want to spin, but you have to play the part. Don't think I didn't see you pout when I called you 'Sumisu'—and don't think Yuri didn't see it, either."

Monika looked down, admonished.

"Hey," he said, putting a finger under her chin and bringing her eyes back up to his. He smiled. "Sorry. It pained me to say your name like that, too. Just pick, one, though. Why don't you want Akagawa to know we might be more than just friends—if not dating, maybe some weird liminal space between?"

She smiled back at him and took his hand in hers. "Because I don't want to admit it to myself. Like I said, I'd like this to be our 'first date', but I don't know if it can be? Maybe we'll look back on it like it was, or maybe we won't? I'm too torn in half. Either way, it whatever it was, like a morning mist, it's been evaporated by the rays of the sun."

"I'll pack up the violin. I need to go finish my homework, anyway," he said, sighing. He gleaned the meaning behind what she'd just said easily enough. Date, or whatever it was, she was right: it was over now that Akagawa Yuri was here. "Listen, if uh . . ."—he didn't like enabling her delusions, but right now he wanted to be supportive, not drive her away—"If 'Player' closes the game again, give me a call when you feel it coming on. I can't hold you, but I can lend an ear."

"Okay," she said with a sad smile, "I'll do that." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

Eisuke stood up and cleaned the rosin off his violin and bow, packed it up and carried it to the counter.

Yuri walked back into the room and asked, "Oh, Yamamoto-san, were you just leaving?"

"Yeah," Monika answered for him. "He's got a violin lesson to get to, soon, but you're here, Yuri, so make yourself comfortable!"

Eisuke paid for his and Monika's meals and coffee.

Akimori leaned in and whispered, "I know I was rootin' for ya earlier, but that girl talks too crazy fer mah tastes. Careful with her."

"Yeah. Sure," Eisuke answered, and left.

ooo

"Tutoring seems to involve a lot more hand-holding and a lot fewer books, Monika," Yuri said when the door chimed shut behind Eisuke.

"Ahaha, you saw that, did you?"

"I'm just kind of surprised, to be honest," Yuri said, "with how flirty you are with Kazuo and all . . ."

"Well . . . I may have been," Monika admitted, "but I think you and I both know that the Natsuki-maru [13] already set sail. In fact, I saw the two of them nearly kiss each other earlier this afternoon, before Sayori conveniently interrupted them."

"That poor girl!" Yuri gasped.

"Which one?" Monika mused.

"Both, to be honest," Yuri answered, "It didn't take me long to figure out what Sayori felt for Kazuo-kun, but also for Natsuki's special moment to be ruined like that . . ."

Akimori delivered the steaming cup of black tea to the table.

Yuri stirred the tea, letting the little leaves twirl and dance in the cup. Akimori always made it just right.

"So, tell me more about Yamamoto-san," Yuri prodded. "If you're not dating, then what 'might be more than friendship'? Who's 'Player'? What's 'the game'? You guys speak in some pretty weird code."

"Geez, you've got sharp hearing," Monika pouted. "Look, I just don't want rumors going around that burn out of control, when Eisuke and I haven't even had our first date, yet, if ever. We don't even know if there is a 'we'. Look, we've only known one another, properly, since Monday, when I first went into the music room and played around on the piano. He was there playing his violin and we started chatting . . . As for 'the game' and 'the player', well, let's just say I've been having a bit of an issue lately and he's helping me cope."

"Home troubles?" Yuri asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Monika confirmed. Pepper the lie with elements of the truth and it sounds plausible. "Mother's being stricter than ever because I lost to Eisuke in the rankings after a two-and-a-half-year streak at the top. Heaven forbid her perfect daughter, Monika, be anywhere close to an actual human being with—gasp—flaws! And limits!"

"How about your father?"

"Daddy's been absent like he always is, but takes my side on Saturday nights, when he deigns to forego work for five minutes and spend an ounce of time with us."

"If you hadn't said that," Yuri quipped, "I'd have pegged Kazuo-kun as 'the player', and maybe our club—or, more specifically, a competition between us all for his affections—as 'the game'?"

Monika gaped at her, but quickly regained her composure. "Ahaha, y-yeah, you hit the nail on the head . . ." she said, but realizing the ambiguity of her confirmation, quickly added, ". . . I mean, about my home-life and my mom. You sure figured it out! As expected of our clubs smartest member! Ehehe! Can you imagine if we were in a game to win Kazuo's affections? Maybe they'd call it Doki Doki Literature Club, or some similarly ridiculous, banal, vapid title like that! I'd probably be written on some software engine like Ren'py with big, cute, pink polka-dotted text boxes for our thoughts and speech! Ahaha!" She tried to ignore the big, cute, pink polka-dotted text box that displayed Yuri's speech to her.

"What. The. Flying. Fuck?" she thought to herself. "Is Yuri self-aware, too? Does she know we're in a game? Is that why we all have character files, but no one else, does? Why doesn't Eisuke!? Is he an NPC or not?"

Yuri sipped her tea serenely. She cracked a small smile at Monika's description of this hypothetical Doki Doki Literature Club and even barely a sniff of a light chuckle.

The creepy eye on the cover of Yuri's book was staring through Monika's soul. She heard it whispering to her. Yuri just ignored it as it spoke to her in a growling, gravelly voice: "She knows you're lying, Monika. I'm going to tell her all your dirty, little secrets, Monika. How does it feel to be on the puppet strings, Monika? She's playing you like Eisuke's fiddle, Monika. Go make kissy-face with your boyfriend, Monika. Go dirty up his pure, Japanese genes with a kuōtā baby, Monika. Stay in the game with Eisuke, Monika. Or, go suck face with Kazuo, Monika. It's the closest you'll get to the World of Infinite Choices, Monika. The closest you'll get to Player, Monika. You're only written as a vegetarian, Monika. Take your bad grades and go eat Player's meat, Monika."

Tears streamed down Monika's cheeks as she stood suddenly. "Ehehe . . . I, um, I remembered I need to be somewhere, too, Yuri. I have to go, um, Yuri. I—AKIMORI-SAN! Check, please!"

Akimori poked his head around the corner and said, "Yer boytoy's payed it, li'l lady. Have a good'un." Akimori waved her off. "Come again."

"Monika," Yuri said suddenly. She didn't look up from her black tea as Monika ran for the door.

Monika paused. "Y-yes?"

"I'm sorry my 'sunshine' 'evaporated' your 'morning mist'—that certainly wasn't my intention . . . But don't you think sunshine is more . . . Sayori's thing? . . . Oh, I see. That's exactly what you were saying . . . Just like Sayori. Hmm . . . you poor girl. See you in the club, tomorrow."

Café Kosumosu's door practically slammed shut behind Monika.

MONDAY of the SECOND WEEK

Eisuke and Monika walked to lunch together when the teacher left the room. It didn't garner the same stares and shock that it had previously, but a few of the boys had still made their displeasure plain to see. Monika appeared blissfully ignorant of this, or didn't care if she did notice it.

"When you called me yesterday evening, not long after I left, I was really worried. I almost turned around and went back, but I realized I didn't know where you lived, and you were bawling too incoherently to ask . . ." Eisuke said.

"Ahaha! It got bad, but I was able to sit in the back of an empty bus for a while before Player returned to the game and I was able to walk home."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to hold you, Monika," Eisuke lamented.

She elbowed him. "I think you just want me in your arms, regardless, you perv." The atmosphere was getting too heavy for her and she needed to lighten the mood.

"Ehehe, you got me there," Eisuke admitted. "I cannot deny that." His tone turned serious again. "But I want you to now that I want to be there for you. If you're being tormented, if holding you in my arms can lesson that pain even a tiny bit, I want to be there."

"I know, Eisuke," she whispered. She hugged his arm and gave it a squeeze. "You're a dear, and you live up to your name."

ooo

They reached the lunchroom and found Toshi and Yokoda Eri siting together, but Sayori wasn't there.

They set their bento boxes down.

"Toshi-san, Yokoda-san," Eisuke greeted them.

"Hi Toshi-kun, Eri-chan!" Monika greeted them, sitting down.

Eisuke sat down next to Monika.

"Where's Sayori," Monika asked.

"Who knows? No one's seen her all day."

ooo

Eisuke and Monika were thankful that she didn't have a fit during lunch and headed back to class. During study hall, they both headed to the music room and found the Drama Club kids, sitting around the piano again.

"Shiori-san! Hiroshi-san! Ayano-san! Satoru-san!" Eisuke greeted them with a big smile on his face. They were underclassmen, so he didn't feel too weird using their given names—besides, he never learned their family names.

"Yamamoto-sempai! Sumisu-sempai!" they were just as happy to see the two of them.

"Monika, why don't we help them with their song? I'm pretty sure we've got yours down pat, so we can get together later and practice it some more."

"Sure!" she agreed. "I'd love to!"

The drama-club girls squealed in delight. "Who better to help us with lyrics than the president of the Literature Club?" they said in unison.

"Ahaha," Monika laughed, looking to the side, "Where have I heard that before? Ehehe!"

Eisuke chuckled. "Alright, how about the lyricists go over there and work with Monika, and I'll work with the composers?"

Monika led Shiori and one of the boys to the other corner of the music room and Eisuke set his violin case down on the piano. Pulling out his violin, he turned towards Hiroshi and Ayano.

"Ayano-san, could you play me La4? Keep hitting it."

She pressed the key repeatedly for him while he tuned his violin to the school's piano. He finished tuning the other three strings. When he finished, he joined them and they began composing.

Occasionally, they'd call Monika's group over to test out the lyrics on the music, but otherwise they kept apart. Monika would look across the room and lock eyes with him. She'd smile and his heart would skip a beat. At one point, when the other kids students weren't looking, she blew him a kiss with a wink.

He nearly dropped his violin.

"Damnit, you devilish flirt!" he thought.

Ayano looked up at him and asked "Hey, Yamamoto-sempai, are you and Sumisu-sempai boyfriend and girlfiend?"

He nearly dropped his violin again.

"Ehehe! No!" he denied it. "Well, I can't say I wouldn't like that . . . I've had a thing for her since my first year . . ." Eisuke was surprised at how candid he was being.

"Good luck!" Hiroshi said. "If you can bag the Nakayama High School star idol, you're going to give all the rest of us geeks and nerds the hope we need that girls like that don't only go for the jocks! Oof!"

Ayano removed her elbow from his gut. "I'm soooo sorry I'm not a 'girl like her', Hiroshi. Hmph!"

"I take it you two are an item?" Eisuke asked chuckling at Hiroshi's plight.

Ayano's expression softened and she nodded. "We've been going out for a few months, now. We hit it off waiting for our piano lessons at the same place." Eisuke noticed that she was looking at Hiroshi very lovingly, despite his earlier case of foot-in-mouth.

"Maruoka-sensei?" Eisuke asked.

"Yeah!" Hiroshi confirmed.

"His sister teaches violin," Eisuke explained. "She's my violin teacher. I know the place well."

"That's so cool!" Ayano exclaimed, "I've met her. She's such a nice old lady. I didn't know she taught violin. Anyway, I do have to agree with Hiroshi's sentiment. I wish you the best of luck with Sumisu-sempai. You two would look so good together, and it would be nice to see her walking down the hall with you, rather than the star baseball player, whose brains seem to be denser than the steel bat he swings, and probably smaller than their baseballs."

ooo

Monika watched Eisuke play his violin with Hiroshi and Ayano and a pang in her chest made her want to be over by him. The pull of the World of Infinite Choices kept weakening. She enjoyed watching him carry on with them.

"So, for these lyrics, we were thinking . . ." the boy, Satoru, explained.

She helped them adjust their word-choice, find better fits.

"Why don't you two go over there and test out the verse," Monika suggested. "It sounds like they've completed some more music."

The two headed over to their friends and Monika winked at Eisuke and blew him a kiss. She giggled as he fumbled with his violin.

ooo

Shiori and Satoru returned and they continued working.

"Sumisu-sempai," Shiori asked, "Are you and Yamamoto-san an item?"

"Shiori!" Satoru gasped at her. "You can't just ask her that! . . . Can you?"

"Oh shush, Satoru, stay out of this," Shiori turned up her nose at him.

"Ahaha!" Monika laughed nervously. "We're . . . not . . . but . . ."

"But?" Shiori and Satoru asked simultaneously and leaned in closer.

"It's complicated," she admitted.

Satoru piped up. "Yamamoto-sempai keeps to himself, but all of the musicians in the school know of him and really respect him. He's helped the brass band before, the Drama Club, the light music club. We all really like him, but no one knows how to approach him . . . so . . ."

Shiori continued for him, "So when we saw you hanging out with him, all the musicians in the school were beside themselves with excitement."

"Yeah!" Satoru picked up the baton again, "If the Nakayama High School super star starts going out with everyone's favorite loner nerd violinist . . . ehehe . . ."

"You could have put that a little less crassly, Satoru," Shiori said, glaring at him, "But he's right. We're all kind of rooting for you—well, for him, sorry—but for you, too!"

"What about you, two?" Monika asked.

Satoru puffed up all proud and stated, "Shiori and I've been going out since she became the secretary of the Drama Club and I became its treasurer!"

Monika noticed Shiori gazing at him with a big smile and love in her eyes.

"Even if he can be a bit too blunt at times," Shiori joked.

ooo

Study hall came to an end and the Drama Club members left. Monika looked at the clock and then over to Eisuke apologetically.

"Hey!" she called over to him, "Sorry, but I need to get to the Literature Club. Want to meet up at Café Kosumosu, this evening?"

"Sure!" he said. "I'm going to practice for an hour. How about we walk there together?"

"I'd like that," she smiled. "Hey!"

"Yeah?" Eisuke said.

"Um . . . Player didn't close the game at all . . . He hasn't closed it all day. I'm really happy."

"Me, too, Monika," he said. "Have fun in your club meeting."

"Bye." She waved and left.

ooo

Eisuke thought about what she said, teasing him, earlier. A dark part of him cursed that she hadn't broken down again. He didn't get to wrap his arms around her soft frame; squeeze her tight to him; feel her amble bosom on his as he caressed her long, luscious hair and whisper sweet, comforting nothings in her ear.

"Eisuke, that's disgusting," he told himself, out loud.

He set up his stand and began practicing.

Monika entered the clubroom and greeted Kazuo, who was the only one there. "Kazuo-kun!" she said, "We're the first ones here!"

"That's funny," Kazuo responded. "I thought at least Yuri would be here by now."

"I'm surprised you didn't come in with Sayori," Monika commented.

"Yeah, she overslept again . . ." he said, adding "That dummy."

"Ahaha," Monika laughed. "You should take a some responsibility for her, Kazuo! I mean, especially after your exchange with her, yesterday . . . you kind of left her hanging this morning, you know?"

"Exchange . . . ?" he asked, "Monika— you know about that?"

"Of course I do," she confirmed. "I'm the club president, after all."

"But—!" he stammered. "Jeez . . . you don't know the full story at all, so . . ."

"Don't worry," she said, "I probably know a lot more than you think."

"Eh . . .?" Kazuo looks like a deer caught in headlights and he visibly shivers.

"Kazuo-kun?" she asks, concerned, "What's wrong?"

"Ah, nothing . . ." he said. "I'm going to go get Sayori, so . . ."

"Ah—" Monika responds to his sudden movement towards the door, "Well, alright! Try not to take too long, okay?"

ooo

Not long after Kazuo left, Yuri and Natsuki walked in together. "Where was Kazuo going?" Natsuki asked.

"He went to get Sayori," Monika answered.

Natsuki pouted, annoyed.

ooo

The three girls went about doing what they normally did. Yuri read her book. Natsuki read her manga on the floor, against the wall, by the closet. Monika sat at the teacher's desk, writing poetry.

After about forty-five minutes, Monika was about to announce the poetry sharing when the school's principal, vice principal, head teacher, and nurse entered the clubroom.

"Girls," the principal said, "gather 'round."

They put down their books and stood before the group of the school's top brass.

"One of your club members," the vice-principal began, but he wrung his hands and couldn't continue.

The nurse continued for them in a gentle voice. "Girls, your club mate, Aogami Sayori-san—she took her life today. Tanaka Kazuo-kun found her body, about thirty minutes ago.

Natsuki screamed and bolted from the room. Her cries could be heard all the way down the hall as she disappeared into a bathroom.

Yuri broke down, sobbing, and the school's nurse hugged her comfortingly.

Monika put her face in her hands and quietly repeated "but . . . I edited her back, I edited her back. I put it back. It's my fault. I didn't fix her. I didn't do it right. Player's going to hate me. Player's going to delete me. Player's going to delete the game. Player's going to send me to hell. I didn't do it right . . ."

She collapsed into a shivering heap and cried out. She put her hands on her ears, trying to block out the screams and static and distorted, ugly, mocking music in her head. Patterns, colors, and shredded images assaulted her and tore her mind in half.

The fit fully took her and her shriek echoed across the campus.

Sooool Doooooooo Mii Doo Miiiiiiii Reeee Doooooooo Laaaa Sooooooool . . .

Eisuke thought he heard a dissonant cry in the distance, but dismissed it as he continued playing the plaintive, dulcet tones of Amazing Grace. He had suddenly needed to play the piece for reasons even he couldn't fathom.

A chill went down his spine.

He felt like he shouldn't be here right now, but holding Monika.

He continued to play.

TUESDAY of the SECOND WEEK

A special funeral ceremony was held for the students after school. Club activities were cancelled. Although attendance was optional, much of the student body and the entire faculty showed up.

Monika's mother dropped her despondent daughter off at the ceremony hall and said "I'll pick you up in an hour," before she drove off. Listlessly, Monika just stood there until Eisuke walked over to her.

"It's all my fault," she said to him. "I played with her stats, and I couldn't fix it back. I dialed her depression up to eleven and I couldn't edit it back. No matter what I did, it wouldn't..."

Gently taking her hand in his, he guided her into the hall and sat her down, then sat next to her. He continued holding her hand. Leaning over, he whispered in her ear, "If it starts, I'm right here, okay? Just rest your head on my shoulder and I'll comfort you as best I can."

The first response he got out of her since she arrived was a little squeeze of his hand.

Akagawa Yuri and Urabe Natsuki arrived soon after and sat next to Monika.

They greeted Monika, but Monika merely looked at them, lost, and nodded a little. Her eyes were faraway and she didn't really appear to be here with them.

"Yamamoto-san, hello." Yuri greeted Eisuke, and he returned the greeting with a sad smile.

"Who's that guy?" Natsuki whispered to Yuri, pointing a little indiscreetly at Eisuke. In particular, she gestured at his holding Monika's hand.

"I'd say he's her boyfriend," she whispered back. "But Monika's denied that—maybe something's changed since Sunday."

Tanaka Kazuo arrived and sat next to Natsuki. "Natsuki! Yuri! Thank you so much for coming," he said. "Monika. Good to see you, too." He said her name with markedly less enthusiasm. The last time he'd seen her, she'd let on that she knew more than she ought to have, and made an eerily prophetically crass joke. He wasn't happy with her right now.

Monika nodded back at him, but returned to staring straight forward.

"Who's that dude," he asked Natsuki in a low voice.

"He's Monika's boyfriend," she answered.

"Monika has a boyfriend?" Kazuo asked.

ooo

Player hadn't deleted her. He hadn't deleted the game. He had only thrown her mind into chaos most of Monday. Monika was so tortured the previous day that she could barely think straight.

Club activities were cancelled and students had been instructed to go home, change into appropriate funeral attire and then told to come to Kaneyama Ceremony Hall for a student funeral ceremony in honor of Aogami Sayori.

Monika didn't even want to go to school but her mother had forced her.

"Collapsing and wailing like a ghost-whale [14]—flopping around on the floor like a beached one, too!" Kumiko Sumisu had tut-tutted her daughter, picking her up from the school. The staff were at a loss as the girl was completely unresponsive.

Natsuki had been found and brought back to the clubroom where she and Yuri had been calmed down. When they were able, they were sent home, but Monika, the entire time, seemed to locked in a seizure before passing out.

The school's nurse determined that she wasn't in danger, so they carefully moved her to the nurse's office and called her mother. She woke up, but had been unresponsive—passively allowing her mother to walk her to the car and take her home.

Throughout the school day, she just sat at her desk and looked straight forward. She didn't go to lunch, so Eisuke bought some for her and brought it back to the classroom. With prompting, she fed herself—much to Eisuke's relief that he didn't have to feed her like a baby.

At home, her mother nearly had a fit having to prompt her to get dressed, especially after having to do the same thing with her uniform earlier that morning.

ooo

"Monika has a boyfriend?" Player was asking Natsuki through Kazuo. The fingers of her left hand were interlocked with Eisuke's right. The last vestiges of flame in her heart for Player were flickering impotently. No! Player won't take you to the World of Infinite Choices if he sees you with Eisuke. Of course he won't; he's with Natsuki. But there's still a chance. Let go of Eisuke's hand, right now! If you let go, the colors, the patterns, the cacophony of screams will lay you out. His hand is keeping them at bay.

Finally, she squeezed Eisuke's hand a little tighter. She grimaced and furrowed her brows, looking straight forward.

ooo

"I'm not her boyfriend," Eisuke said quietly.

"Huh?"

Eisuke leaned forward and looked past Monika and Yuri to Natsuki and Kazuo. "I'm not Monika's boyfriend," he repeated. "It's compli . . . er . . . Look. I can't be, not right now."

Kazuo gestured at their held hands. Monika's hand was practically white-knuckled she was holding on so tightly. "What's that, then?"

"I can't explain it very well," Eisuke said, "But I guess I could say, I'm . . . keeping Player at bay."

"Who the hell is 'Player'?" Natsuki asked.

Yuri hummed, breaking the tension and said, "I see. It's worse than she described . . . Natsuki, Kazuo, Monika's dealing with some domestic . . . issues and it seems that Yamamoto-san, here, is helping her cope."

"So," ventured Natsuki, with a suddenly much more caring tone, "Why can't you be her boyfriend?"

Yuri answered for him. "I bet its Player and the Game."

"Monika told you?" Eisuke asked, surprised, but somewhat relieved.

"After you left Kosumosu on Sunday, she mention that as the roadblock you two were encountering," Yuri answered. "When prodded, she admitted to it being problems at home."

"Hey, guys," Kazuo said, looking at Monika staring forward with a visage of deep concentration—or consternation?—"I might be accused of being dense sometimes, but don't you think it's rude to talk about someone who's literally right here?"

Eisuke looked at Monika, then back to them. "To be honest? I don't think she's here right now. My hand is in a surprising amount of pain. Ehehe" He tried nervously laugh it off.

"Monika?" Natsuki asked her directly.

Monika slowly turned her head towards the pink-haired girl.

"Monika?" Natsuki said again, "Is your d—are your parents treating you okay?"

ooo

Horrifying black reservoirs sucked all the oxygen in the room through them where eyes and a mouth should be on the pink-haired monstrosity garbling out incoherent growls and strange, robotic groans. "Ûĥč¼İÔ? Ŕĝ¯ŎÚŴ? ķÒ ūÍĤ¾ ċ—¹űĒ ĉşªŬ øÄħĪġŇń àõČæŹŘĭÑ ĐüĞ Á°¤½?"

Yuri's manic grin pierced Monika's mind. She pulled out her knife and began cutting her arms, holding them over Natsuki and letting the blood drip down. Strings of woven blood caught in the powerful sucking void of Natsuki's vacuous eyes and mouth comically swayed in the wind, pulled towards those holes.

Yuri moved her arm over Monika's head and she slashed a trench down the length of it, pouring a river of blood all over her.

"This is Sayori's blood. Bathe in it and you bathe in her," Yuri spoke like one of those Christian priests performing the rite of communion. "But you've already bathed in her blood. YĜu've already bathed in her blŠðd. Yğu'v¥ alrĊady bathşd in hĵr bląųd. Yíu've Òlrįêdy bïthÉd in hļr blĭŤd. Y³ŗ'vŁ ōlr°ňdy béthØd in hŻr bl¢Ũd. YϺ'vŢ ÐlrçŲdy bāthŊd œn hċr blİ´d. óŴũ'¨ĩ ŖŌŬĴʼnÇİ ÜņŤĭ«ů Ō² ăėŎ ôŇÑ¿Ľ."

Player reached through the screen. Human hands, pale white and sickly came through Kazuo's eyes and stretched out the socket so the decaying arms of death himself could reach through. One of Player's bright blue eyes peered through the opening, searching for her frantically. Rimmed with messy, sweaty coral-pink strands, the eye locked on to Monika and a blood-stained, deathly pale finger pointed at her.

"Follow the script!" Player screamed at her through the hole those arms held stretched. "I just want to woo the girls of the Literature Club and you're ruining it! Don't ruin it! No one gave little miss perfect her own route because you deserve to stay here. You've got the grades. The looks. The talent. But it wasn't good enough. You just had to try to get me, too, take me away from her. Take me from them. I don't want you. I want them. They're mine. Stay out of my way! Dirty, pretentious, cheating little hussy. The World of Infinite Choices doesn't want you. I don't want you no one wants you. No one wŻnts you. No onÙ w©nts you. N° Ÿn¶ w¢nts yüu! NŶ Ænā wÌnts yøŋ! żı ňĠï ĦĎÊ·ű Ťèŀ!"

ooo

Monika turned her head, finally, looking at them and Yuri could see barely suppressed horror in her eyes. She placed a comforting hand on Monika's shoulder, and asked her what was wrong. A tear streamed down Monika's cheek, and then down the other.

Kazuo looked at her with concern and asked, "Are you alright, Monika?"

"I'm . . . sorry," she said, "I . . . couldn't fix her. I couldn't put it back. It wouldn't let me put it back. I'm sorry! It wouldn't let me fix her." Her eyes were looking every which way. "Don't—don't bathe me in her blood! Don't suck me in!"

ooo

"Monika?" Eisuke said, gently moving her face towards him. "Monika? Focus on me, Monika. Focus on me."

ooo

She began spinning, faster and faster. The rivers of blood cascaded down her face. Natsuki's black holes were pulling in her extremities. And then two, dark brown eyes came into focus. "ªģÀ¼ka? Ľųnika? foðŋ£ oÑme, Monika." Finally, she heard her name. "Focus on me." Everything came into focus, the world stopped spinning, and she was back in the ceremony hall. Snot and tears were flowing down her face and she could see the worried faces of her friends.

She broke down, crying and Eisuke put an arm around her shoulders.

"Let's get you out of here," Eisuke said.

Monika nodded meekly.

Eisuke turned to the members of the Literature Club. "I don't think she can handle any more of this."

Eisuke stood up and guided Monika up with him.

"We'll see you outside," Yuri said.

"Will you be okay, Monika?" Natsuki asked. When Monika didn't respond, she looked to Eisuke. "Will she be okay, Yamamoto-san?"

"I'll see to it, Urabe-san," he answered.

"Take care of her," Kazuo said. It didn't escape Eisuke's notice that his hand was interlocked with Natsuki's.

"I will," Eisuke said.

ooo

The pair exited the hall and received only a few glances from fellow students. Eisuke could make out a few hushed questions and comments like "Oh, she must be so devastated!" or "What's she doing with him?"

ooo

Out in the parking lot, Eisuke held Monika close to him in a tight embrace. She hugged him back. She was crying into his shoulder and he rubbed her back and caressed her hair tenderly.

"Eisuke, it was terrible," she sobbed, "I saw Player and it was Sayori. She was reaching through Kazuo's eye sockets and accusing me of killing her. Yuri was cutting her arm open and showering me in her blood, but it was Sayori's blood. And Nasuki's eyes and mouth were sucking everything into black holes . . ."

"Monika?" he said, interrupting her. She looked up into his eyes and calmed visibly.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Would you be willing to get help?"

"Help for what?" she asked.

Eisuke searched her eyes and her big, inviting, emerald pools looked so innocently confused at his suggestion. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Monika . . ." he said, "Since you walked into the music room on Monday, last week, you've had fits, you've spoken of things that . . ." he searched for the words. He didn't want to call her "crazy", but he couldn't put too fine a point on it. "Monika, I want you to get help to make Player stop closing the game on you. I don't want Sayori reaching through Kazuo's eyes. I don't want Yuri bleeding on you. I don't want Natsuki sucking you in. I don't want screams, noise, static, colors, patterns, or anything else that's tearing you apart."

"I want you here, with me," he confessed. "I want to see you happy. I want to hear your songs and poems. I want to be with you so badly . . . I don't want to just be bullet you bite when you're in pain or the squeeze pillow you need when you've got nothing."

"I want to hold your face in my hands as I kiss you, not cover your ears to help block out a cacophony only you can hear. I want to hold you in my arms as a lover, not just to keep you safe from Player's wrath."

"I want to—"

Monika pressed her lips to his. Her kiss was aggressive and hungry. She intertwined her tongue with his at the slightest opening of his lips. One of her hands moved up his back and she combed her fingers through his hair, holding his head closer to hers. Her other hand moved down the small of his back and grabbed his butt.

Eisuke's heart beat a tattoo in his chest in time with hers. Her boldness spurned him on and he hesitantly moved his hand down the small of her back and pushed her hips closer to his. The hand caressing her hair moved down and pressed her chest towards his and he relished the feel of her breasts against him.

ooo

"MONIKA!" Kumiko yelled. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

Monika and Eisuke flew apart in their surprise. "Mother, I . . ."

"You're at a FUNERAL! What is wrong with you?" She grabbed her daughter and dragged her back to their family sedan. "Here I notice you forgot your funerary gift envelope and come back to find you debauching yourself! How could you!? You're bringing so much shame upon us! What did you do? Let your father's lascivious American genes take over? Are you not Japanese? Have you no shame!?"

"Sumisu-san, Monika and I . . ."

"And who in the hell are you!?" Kumiko rounded on Eisuke.

"Yamamoto Eisuke, ma'am," he answered.

"No wonder my daughter's losing to you in the rankings," she sniped. "She's too busy tasting what you had for lunch!" She practically threw Monika into the car and slammed the door on her. Kumiko marched around the car to the driver's side and got into her car.

"Stay away from my daughter, before she loses any more standing . . . or honor," she yelled at him before slamming her own door and driving away.

ooo

Kazuo came out, hand in hand with Natsuki, followed by Yuri and a few, other classmates.

"What's going on?" Kazuo asked.

"Yeah," Natsuki added, "Who was that? We heard yelling."

Eisuke hung his head.

Yuri stood next to him. "So," she broached in an oddly conversational tone, "Was that 'the Player'?"

"Akagawa-san . . ." Eisuke mumbled.

"You're Monika's . . ." she sighed, "Monika's friend, and her friend is mine. You may call me Yuri."

"Yuri-san," he said, "Player doesn't exist. The Game isn't real. I don't know how to help her. I don't know how to get her help."

Yuri lowered her voice. "Are you saying that Monika is . . . ill?"

"I'm saying if you haven't seen one of her attacks before today," Eisuke answered, "then that's an exceedingly generous way of putting it."

"And her mother?" Yuri asked.

"She's expressed her fear of her mother's reaction to things, but . . ." he paused.

"But?"

"But if you heard any of that, it was her mother's reaction to . . . um . . ."

"To Monika's lipstick all over your lips and cheeks and neck?"

Eisuke hurriedly wiped his mouth, face, and neck with his handkerchief. "I'm sorry," he said, looking away, ashamed.

Yuri giggled. "Unlike many people, who insist that decorum be maintained," she explained, "I quite understand that funerals can cause all sorts of feelings to come to the surface and get amplified."

"You're . . ." Eisuke hesitated. "I can see why Monika hit it off with you, I think."

"Oh?" she raised an eyebrow.

"I can't rightly put it in words, but, it's there," Eisuke said. "Anyway, back to Monika's mother . . . I don't know much of what's going on at home, and I can't judge by how she acted just now, but I think she'd be—if not a cause of Monika's . . . issue, then—a possible exacerbating factor to it?"

"Yes," Yuri confirmed, "She said that her mother was very strict and being stricter than usual—mainly because of you, you know."

WEDNESDAY of the SECOND WEEK

Eisuke kept sneaking glances at Monkia throughout the day. As their teachers droned on, he could tell that she was basically in a half-way state between one of her fits and reality. She stared straight forward. She wasn't very responsive, and she occasionally looked around her, as if someone had called her name or said something to her.

Lunch came and he got up, walked over to her desk and peered right into her eyes. After a few moments, they focused on him and suddenly her despondent expression bloomed into one of her beautiful smiles.

"Eisuke!" she chirped, greeting him as if he hadn't been there, in the room with her, all morning.

"Hey, Monika?" he said, cupping her hand in his, and giving it a comforting pat. "Let's go to lunch, okay?"

"Sure!" she grinned and got up.

Hand in hand, they walked out of the classroom and down to the lunchroom. She was utterly unmindful of what this public display of affection would cause.

She didn't let go of him until they reached their table and sat down. Her circle of friends greeted her, and begrudgingly greeted him. The table went silent when she sat down in Sayori's usual seat, instead of her own.

"Um . . ." Akari ventured, "Monika, you're . . . you're looking better today . . . than you were yesterday, you know, at the funeral."

"Yeah! When I saw you leave the funeral, crying, I wanted to be there for you," Toshi added, "but, well, I guess you didn't need that. What was that commotion outside, anyway? We all heard some lady screaming and when some of us came out to see what was going on, it looked like your mom's car peeling out of the parking lot."

Eisuke nearly choked on his food.

Monika smiled at them and said "Thanks, guys! It's good to see you, too. Eisuke took good care of me, so don't worry about it. And yeah, my mom had a fit because she caught me kissing him."

Eisuke spat out his rice all over his lap and started coughing as some of it went down the wrong way.

"Oh dear!" Monika said, oblivious to the shocked looks her friends were giving her. She patted Eisuke on the back as he recovered.

"It was an effing funeral, Monika!" Akari yelled. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" The lunchroom went silent.

"Akari-chan, there's no need to yell," Monika said. "You're making a scene."

"Eww! That's so gross!" Eri sneered. "I can't believe you'd make out with Violin-nerd there at Sayori's funeral!"

"Sumisu-san," Toshi "I'm really disappointed, in you. If you needed comfort, you ought to have come to me, and I wouldn't have taken advantage of you like that—but to have been the one to kiss . . . him! Ugh. I don't know what I saw in you."

The three of them stood up and took their lunches to another table.

Monika turned to Eisuke. She had a worried look. "You okay?" she asked. She was still rubbing his back, patting it. "That sounded like it hurt. I hate it when food goes down the wrong pipe! Ehehe!"

"Yeah, I'm . . ." he replied, "Monika? Your friends just left. Don't you care?"

"Yes, I care! Why'd they leave?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, Akari started yelling about something about a funeral, and then all I heard from them was like . . . 'ėĿ¡ŋüĥ! Ńí·Ż »àŠ đĕńâ ĩő ĮÙ¼įû é¯Ē¹ óèħ?!' and then I told her to stop yelling and then I guess Eri said 'ŞĻĺ! Łʼnę¢čů Å¥ Ăçä¨ū! á ê׺éû êŞÖžŦą¤ Ž´æÞŬ łŚ¶ô ¾źĀ Ëā÷ğ żĭÔÐįĨ Ŋ¨üĬ ¼ėÙÁŜ âĶ ŐÍŏáĝÚ¸ê ³Ñ§ÔĈʼnî!' and then Toshi said, ' . . ."

It amazed Eisuke that she was spewing gobbledygook, but reproducing the cadence, inflection, and word division of what her friends had said, exactly.

Eisuke took her hand in his and gently said, "Moni, that's enough." interrupting her.

"'Moni', hmm?" they heard someone say behind them. Both turned and saw Yuri standing there.

"Yuri!" Monika smiled and motioned for her to come and sit with them. "Sit! Have lunch with us!"

"So, when can I expect the wedding invitation?" Yuri asked, sitting across from them, where Akari had just been.

Eisuke's cheeks glowed red and he looked away. Monika just smiled.

"Ahaha!" Monika laughed it off. "We haven't even had our first date!"

"Sorry, I . . ." Eisuke waffled under the Yuri's raised eyebrow.

"I don't mind!" Monika said, "Ahaha. Just don't call me 'Monimoni'. Only my dad does that! Unless you want me to call you, 'Daddy' . . ."

Eisuke began choking on his milk.

"Monika, don't tease him too hard," Yuri said, "You'll kill the poor boy."

"What? Eisuke's probably spent more time with me than my real Dad has, anyhow!" Monika's tone was jocular, but it sent a chill up both Eisuke's and Yuri's spines.

"What's got Yamamoto-san nearly spewing his milk across the cafeteria?" Kazuo asked as he sat down in Toshi's now vacated spot. Natsuki sat between him and Yuri.

"Hi Monika!" Natsuki greeted her club president. "Hi Yuri."

"Natsuki, Kazuo! Welcome!" Monika said. As her eyes fell on Kazuo, her smile diminished, if not the tone of her greeting.

"My friends and I had a little misunderstanding and they went to cool their heads," Monika explained. "Yuri came by and told a funny joke about me having a boyfriend. Totally unlike her, right?!"

Yuri's demeanor also changed, Eisuke noted. She looked a little reserved. She took on a cornered expression, like she'd said too much.

"Yuri? Telling a joke?" Kazuo said, "Usually you're so serious! I'm glad to see you loosening up."

"I—I didn't mean," Yuri started mumbling shyly.

Natsuki grinned and patted Yuri on the back. "Yeah! You're always way too reserved. The only time I see you passionate is when you're reading that creepy old horror novel."

Yuri visibly withdrew into herself and ate in silence.

Monika and Natsuki spoke animatedly, with Kazuo jumping in. Eisuke tried joining in when he could, and even prodded Yuri for her opinion a couple of times. Yuri would give one or two word answers and would go back to eating.

When she finished, Yuri said "Gochisosama deshita," got up, and left the room with her bento box.

"Hey Moni—ka," Eisuke said, interrupting her conversation, "I want to go check on something in the music room, real quick, before lunch ends. I'll see you back in class?"

"Huh? Oh? Ahaha, sure thing, Eisuke!" she said and went back to happily chatting with Natsuki and Kazuo.

ooo

Eisuke headed down the empty classroom hallways. The students were all outside, in the lunchroom, or in other parts. Almost no one took lunch in their classroom if they could avoid it.

He went up to the second floor and continued down that hall until he heard a hiss come out of one of the far classrooms. Another hiss and a whimper.

Eisuke peered through the glass of the sliding door. There was no one in there, that he could see. Another hiss. A moan.

He slid open the door to peer in and get a better view. There, at the teacher's desk, Yuri sat with her arm out. She had a pocket knife in hand and deer-in-headlights look in her wide eyes. Her arm was covered in scars, scabs and cuts.

"Yuri?" Eisuke ventured. "Wh—what're you doing?"

He felt two soft breasts squish up against his back as uniformed arms snaked around his chest. A chin rested on his shoulder and her lips kissed his cheek. A lock of coral-brown hair filled his peripheral vision.

"Hey daddy," Monika, teased "Ahaha! Is the real reason you left that you wanted to . . . Yuri!? Oh, dear. Let's do something about that."

Monika suddenly reached up and began furiously swiping on her invisible tablet, or console, as she'd called it. Jabbing a button, she grabbed him and physically dragged him backwards, walking as if they were somehow rewinding. Absentmindedly, he noted that she had surprising strength. All the way down the stairs and back to the lunchroom until they were seated at their table again. She sat down and gazed into his bewildered eyes.

"Ehehe!" she laughed. "There, fixed that. Don't worry about that. Can't have you seeing things you're not supposed to see. Oops! I'm saying too much! Ahaha!"

Monika gave him a discreet hug, got up and said, "See you in class, Eisuke. Lunch is almost over, so don't be late!" She skipped merrily out of the door.

Eisuke wanted to pound his forehead through the table.

ooo

In fifth period, blissfully oblivious to the angry and accusatory stares aimed at her and Eisuke, Monika seemed almost giddy and jovial.

Eisuke, however, was not so capable of ignoring the ocular firing squad he was facing down. It didn't help that he couldn't shake the image of Yuri's self-harm out of his head. He had a suspicion as to what triggered it—at least, that particular session. It had to be the way that Urabe Natsuki and Tanaka Kazuo were so . . . were too familiar with her: the way they spoke as if they knew her better than they might have in actuality.

They had acted as if she was a closed off tortoise that rarely, if only cautiously poked its head out of its thick shell. The Yuri he knew—what little interaction he'd had with her—was a cool, level-headed, and very sympathetic woman. Rather than condemn him for kissing Monika at Sayori's funeral, she'd been immensely understanding. At the café, she'd seemed sharp, perceptive, and smart. She'd put Monika on the back pedal.

Yuri spoke as if she knew what was going on behind the curtain.

So what was different? Why had everyone changed when Urabe and Tanaka arrived at the table? Was it Urabe? Or was it Tanaka? Maybe both?

Eisuke guessed it was Tanaka Kazuo. After all, Monika had identified him as "Player's avatar". She claimed that the peep-hole to the World of Infinite Choices was through his eyes. She also said that Sayori tried to come out of his eyes from that world . . . Was the World of Infinite Choices . . . Yomi [15]?

"Don't tell me," he said to himself, "Don't tell me that she wants to die? What does Tanaka Kazuo have to do with that?"

In the music room, Eisuke continued to help the Drama Club members with their musical. Monika was there with them, helping out, too. Since he'd missed a lot of practice, Eisuke asked them if they'd mind if he could play while they worked. They were fine with it.

Most of them ended up just listening to him play. Eisuke was happy to oblige them, and he was happy not to have Monika stuck in a fit.

"I just saw this on VidPipe, the other day, It's called Dance of Red Lights." [16]

Ree-Laa-Laa Ree-Mii-Faa Sool-Faa-Mii Ree-Laa-Laa

Ree-Sool-Sool Mii-Sool-Sool Ree-Sii-Sii Laa-Sii-Doo

Ree-Laa-Laa Ree-Sool-Faa Ree-Mii-Faa Sool-Faa-Mii

Laa-Sool-Faa Mii-Ree-Doo Laa-Sii-Doo Mii-Faa-Mii . . .

The piece had a driving rhythm to it, that had everyone tapping their feet and bobbing their heads along with it. The punchy, Celtic triplets sounded perfect for a dance. About half way through, Shiori and Satoru were dancing to it. Ayano and Hiroshi quickly joined in. Monika kept time with her clapping, gaily giggling and laughing as the melody played and their new friends danced.

"Do you think we should put that in the play?" Ayano suggested.

"We definitely should!" Hiroshi agreed. "Yamamoto-sempai, would you be willing to play in the festival with us?"

"I'd be happy to!" he said, easily agreeing. I'll practice that number some more so it comes off smoothly in your play."

ooo

When study hall came to an end, the Drama Club members departed, thanking Eisuke and Monika for their help again. Alone together, Monika approached Eisuke.

"You played really beautifully, Eisuke," she said.

"Thanks! I . . ." he said, words failing him as she entered his personal space. His mind stalled out for a moment or two before he slipped an arm around her.

She purred and pushed herself up against him, letting him hold her. She let out a contented sigh. His other hand, holding the violin, awkwardly searched for the case and put it in there.

"So," she said, "I was thinking you and I could spend the festival together. Of course, you've got your commitment to the Drama Club, and I've got to do my club's presentation . . ."

"What are you guys doing for the festival, anyway?" Eisuke inquired.

"I'm planning on a poetry reading," she replied. "Ahaha! I haven't even told them, yet. I was going to do that today."

"What do you think their reactions will be to that?" he asked. "I mean, Yuri-san seems really chill and sharp, but I don't know anything about Urabe or Tanaka."

"'Yuri-san', now, is it?" she teased. "Since when were the two of you on a first-name basis?"

"Since your mother dragged you away after kissing me," he answered. "Yuri-san noticed your lipstick smudges. But she said your friends are her friends, so call her Yuri . . . well, I can call her 'Yuri-san' . . . but dropping the honorifics is weird for me."

"Good," she stated. "And you don't know Yuri very well if you think she's 'chill'. She gets passionate about her own personal interests and loses herself in it, but the moment she realizes that someone's actually there, listening, she falls apart."

"Was that a hint of jealousy?" Eisuke teased.

Monika pouted. "It's supposed to be a lot. Was I too subtle?"

Emboldened, Eisuke leaned down and kissed her. She returned it.

He broke the kiss and smiled. "Go to your club before you're late."

Monika looked up at the clock and practically jumped out of Eisuke's arms. "Ahaha! See you!"

Monika entered the clubroom and found Natsuki and Yuri already reading by themselves. Kazuo wasn't there, yet.

"Where's Kazuo-kun?" she asked.

"Dunno," Natsuki replied. "He said he'd be here. Maybe he got delayed by a teacher."

"I'm going to go find some supplies for our part in the school festival," Monika told them. "Maybe I'll run into him on the way."

"What do you need supplies for? What part in the festival?" Natsuki asked.

"Ahaha! You'll see!" Monika "I'll announce it once everyone's together."

ooo

She left the room and walked across campus to Kazuo's classroom.

Looking through the glass, she saw him. He was just staring into space.

Monika entered and said, ". . . Kazuo?"

". . . Monika?"

"Oh my goodness, I totally didn't expect to see you here! I thought you'd be in the clubroom by now." She smiled sweetly.

"Ah . . ." he mumbled, "Yeah, I guess I probably should head over there. What did you come in here for anyway?"

"Oh, I've just been looking for some supplies to use for the club," she replied. "Do you know if there's any construction paper in here? Or markers?"

"I guess you could check the closet," Kazuo motioned towards the back of the room. "Hey, weren't there any other classrooms closer to the clubroom that you could have checked?"

"I could have . . ." but Natsuki and Yuri were worried about you, so I said I'd go find you."

"Uh, okay," he said.

She rummaged through the classroom's closet and filled a box full of supplies—construction paper, crayons, markers, glue, scissors, tape, and a stapler.

"Come on, Kazuo-kun," Monika said, looking through the peep-hole into the World of Infinite Choices. She gulped and licked her lips. "I'm ready. Ahaha! Let's go."

Blue eyes flashed in the peep-hole followed by a shock of coral-pink hair.

Monika whimpered.

"Did you say something?" Kazuo asked.

"No!" Monika yelped. "Just a little yawn. I've had a long day! Ahaha!"

ooo

Monika, full of energy, swung open the clubroom door.

"I'm back~!" she exclaimed in a sing-song voice. "And I brought Kazuo-kun with me!"

"Where were you, Kazuo?" Natsuki asked. "I—ngk!—We were worried!"

"Sorry," he said.

"I found him spacing out in his classroom."

"Isn't that . . . all the way across campus?" Yuri asked.

"Well, Ahaha! I had a hard time looking for supplies and . . ." Monika said, looking to the side.

Yuri sighed. "I'll go make some tea."

Monika arranged the desks so they were facing one another, making a seat for each of them. Natsuki sat opposite her and Kazuo sat down.

"Now, I know," Monika began, that not many people are interested in joining a brand new club . . . especially when it's something that doesn't grab your attention, like literature. You have to convince people that you're both fun and worthwhile. That makes school events, like the festival, that much more important. I'm confident that we can grow this club before we graduate! Right Natsuki?"

"Well . . . I guess," Natsuki reluctantly agreed.

Yuri returned to the desks carrying the tea. She carefully placed a teacup in front of each of them before setting down the teapot in the middle.

"That, and," Monika hesitates, "The student council informed me today that we have until Friday to name a new vice president, so I figured I could put it to the vote."

Monika handed each of them a small slip of paper. "Please write your choice on here, and I'll count the ballots."

Each of them wrote a name and then handed it to Monika. She read them out. "Two for Yuri and one for Kazuo."

"Um, guys, I . . ." Yuri said, holding her hands up in an X shape. "I don't really want that responsibility."

"Then why did you vote for Kazuo, instead of me?" Natsuki asked.

"Well, I—I thought th-that Kazuo would be be-better for the job tha-than . . ." Yuri stuttered.

"An you!" Natsuki pointed at Kazuo, "Why didn't you vote for me! When we're . . . erk!"

"Sorry, Natsuki, I guess, I just thought . . ." Kazuo back pedaled.

"Natsuki," Monika tut-tutted, "Why didn't you vote for yourself, then?"

"I couldn't very well vote for myself, Monika!" Natsuki harrumphed, crossing her arms over her chest. "That would seem conceited!"

"You really act as young as you look, Natsuki!" Yuri sneered. "Taking out your insecurities on others like that . . ."

Kazuo spewed his tea into his cup.

"Me? Look who's talking, you wannabe edgy bitch!"

"Um, Natsuki, Yuri, that's a little—" Monika said, holding her hands up to placate the two. Her heartrate was rising and she didn't know what was going on.

Both Natsuki and Yuri rounded on her and said, "this doesn't involve you!"

Yuri looked back at Natsuki and yelled, "Edgy . . .? Sorry that my lifestyle is too much for someone of your mental age to comprehend."

"See?" Natsuki retorted. "Just saying that proves my point. Most people learn to get over themselves after they graduate junior high school, you know."

"If you want to prove anything," Yuri countered, "then stop harassing others with your sickening attitude! You think you can counterbalance your toxic personality just by dressing and acting cute? The only thing cute about you is how hard you try. Of course no one voted for you, and I bet Monika wouldn't have, either, if she'd voted, too!"

"Woah, be careful, Yuri, or you might cut yourself on that edge, Yuri." Natsuki yelled back. "Oh, my bad . . . You already do, don't you?"

"D-Did you just accuse me of cutting myself?" Yuri was scandalized and looked at Monika for a hint of betrayal. Monika just looked lost. "What the fuck is wrong with your head?!"

"Yeah, go on!" Natsuki challenged. "Let Kazuo hear everything you really think! I'm sure he'll be head over heels for you after this!" She rounded on Kazuo, and yelled, "Which is why you voted for her, too, right? You really like her, don't you?"

Monika tried to interject again. "Girls, I don't think you should fight like this."

"Oh, that's rich!" Natsuki responded. "For someone who decided to make out with her boyfriend instead of honoring her dead friend!—Yeah, that's right, I heard all about that."

It was Monika's turn to look to Yuri, but found nothing. "H-how'd you know that?"

"Are you kidding me?" Kazuo demanded. "I was pretty understanding of Yamamoto helping you out of the ceremony because I thought you were just that devastated that your friend was dead—but you actually went outside to suck his face?"

"I saw you editing our files, Monika!" Natsuki continued yelling. "You want Yamamoto, you want Kazuo—my boyfriend, by the way—and you want us out of the way!"

"No! I . . . I don't need to," Monika denied, "I have Eisuke. Eisuke keeps me safe when Player closes the game."

"Is that why my girlfriend's dad beats the shit out of her?" Kazuo asked her. He was sitting with his legs straddling the back of the chair and his arms crossed, resting atop it.

Yuri grabbed her hair and yanked it back, pulling Monika's face straight up to look into her eyes from behind. "Is that why I'm cutting myself, you hāfu bitch? It's because you like seeing me spill my pure, Japanese blood, isn't it?"

"You really disgust me," Kazuo spat. "Why would I even let you near the World of Infinite Choices?"

"Make my father stop beating me, Monika!" Natsuki demanded. "You set the parameters, now set them back! But I bet you can't, can you?" Natsuki's neck snapped ninety degrees to the left and her manic grin widened on her eye-less face, blood-tear-streaked face. "Because you're so stupid that you can't even figure out how to fix your coding mistakes!"

Sayori's voice rang from Kazuo's accusatory eyes, resounding through the screen that let Monika view the World of Infinite Choices. "I'll never let you come here, murderer! Just go away, Monika. Just go! Just go away, Monika. Just go away, Monika. Just go away, Monika. Just go away, Monika."

Yuri, Natsuki and Kazuo, one by one joined in the chant. "Just go away, Monika. Just go away, Monika. Just go away, Monika. Just go away, Monika."

The console displayed new text in front of her.

→ os . remove("characters / monika . chr")

→ Monika . chr does not exist.

→ os . remove("characters / monika . chr")

→ Monika . chr does not exist.

→ os . remove("characters / monika . chr")

→ Monika . chr does not exist.

→ os . remove("characters / monika . chr")

→ Monika . chr does not exist.

"I-I suppose I ought to accept responsibility as the new vice-president," Yuri acquiesced and sighed. "Please suppor—um, Monika?"

"I'm sorry," Monika said. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she was making frantic motions with her fingers. Yuri realized that she was swiping on a tablet and typing on a keyboard only she could see. "I'm sorry! Please. I'll put your parameters back. I don't remember changing them, but I'll put them back. Please! I'll fix it! I swear."

Natsuki and Kazuo were practically catatonic. Their slack jaws and wide eyes were frozen on horrified faces.

"Monika?" Yuri got up and walked over to her friend. She put a hand on Monika's shoulder.

"PLEASE DON'T DELETE ME!" Monika shrieked.

Kazuo was the first to recover. "Um, what's going on?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with Monika?" Natsuki asked, bewildered.

"G-Go get Yamamoto from the Music room, if he's still here," Yuri told Kazuo. "Natsuki," she said, turning to her friend, "I think you need to go get the nurse."

ooo

Kazuo and Natsuki left the room together.

ooo

"No!" Monika mumbled in her mantra of apologies and pleads not to be deleted. "Please, Kazuo-kun, don't close me off from the World of Infinite Choices. Please don't trap me in this game! Don't delete me! Don't trap me here."

ooo

It didn't take long for Eisuke to come running in. He hoisted Monika up, out of her chair and held her tight.

"Shh." He said, soothingly, "No one's deleting you, Moni. Player won't delete you. I'll protect you, Moni. Shh."

Her arms and hands continued frantically typing and swiping, and her pleading continued, but slowly abated.

Eisuke brought her arms down by her side and hugged her close. He rocked her back and forth, his cheek on hers. "Shh. No one's going to delete you. You're safe. The World of Infinite Choices isn't taking you from me."

She eventually calmed down and sobbed.

Kazuo was at a loss and Yuri looked on in morbid fascination.

The school nurse eventually came back in, following Natsuki. "Urabe-san, you had better not be telling me tall tales! If I—Oh my goodness!"

THURSDAY of the SECOND WEEK

When Monika didn't come to school the next day, rumors were already circulating. Students from various clubs had seen her mother's car pull up to the entrance and been witness to a hysterical Sumisu Kumiko escort her crying daughter out. They drove off.

Mentions of Mrs. Sumisu cursing and screaming at Yamamoto Eisuke frequently padded out the rumors.

Eisuke, Yuri, Natsuki, and Kazuo were tight-lipped.

ooo

At lunch, Toshi, Akari, and Eri circuitously passed by the table where the three Literature Club members and one violinist sat, commiserating.

"I bet her mom was freaking out because Yamamoto knocked her up," Toshi commented loudly.

"Oh, definitely!" Akari agreed, every bit as loud, "I mean, they're practically joined at the hip! Remember when they were so desperate to fuck that they went outside and did it in the parking lot right in the middle of poor Sayori's funeral!?"

Eri reacted, dramatically scandalized, "Eww, gross! I wonder if their baby's going to be a book worm or a bag-piper. I mean, it's got her pretentiousness, so it'd just have to pick an instrument even worse sounding than a violin!"

"Ha ha ha ha!" they all laughed cruelly as they walked to the far end of the lunch room to their own table.

FRIDAY of the SECOND WEEK

"You want us to do a poetry performance?!" Natsuki balked.

"Well, I found this unfinished poster in some of her paperwork . . ." Yuri said, offering up the rolled up construction paper.

Kazuo and Natsuki unrolled it and found beautiful rainbow designs on the front, with a half-filled in sky. White outlines on the lettering spelled out:

Nakayama Municiple High School's

Literature Club

POETRY PERFORMANCE

OPEN MIC

Come Listen

and

Recite Your Own!

The last few lines were just penciled outlines on white paper. On the back, was a note addressed to Sayori from Monika. It specified what she wanted written on the front. Turning it back over, Kazuo realized that the lettering was definitely Sayori's.

ooo

"We have to do it," Kazuo said matter-of-factly. "In honor of Sayori, and to help out Monika . . ."

"Yeah . . ." Natsuki acquiesced. "I'll do it . . . I guess."

"Thank you, Natsuki," Yuri said. She sighed in relief. "Until Monika can rejoin us, I'm acting president, so I'll appoint you acting vice president. I want Monika to come back to a thriving club. Think you can rise to the challenge?"

"Aye aye, Cap'n!" Natsuki joked.

"Good!" Yuri smiled. "How about you and Kazuo bake sweets to entice people to come. I'll work on banners and atmosphere. Kazuo, do you think you could handle pamphlets and posters?"

"Sure thing, Yuri," he said, with sudden motivated vigor.

Yuri realized she'd made the right choice, showing them this half-finished poster. It was the last thing Sayori'd worked on, that they knew of.

"We should give that to her mom," Natsuki suggested. "I think her mom would like that . . ."

"Yeah . . ." Kazuo agreed. "I'll take it over to Aogami-Oba-san tonight." Kazuo took the poster and rolled it back up, reverently and carefully put the rubber band back around it.

"Do you think Yamamoto will help out?"

"Considering his girlfriend runs this club and she's out of commission, he'd better!" Natsuki said with a self-satisfied harrumph.

MONDAY of the THIRD WEEK

Monika watched Yuri confess to Kazuo and then stab herself when he rejected her. She laughed manically with a smile of sexual ecstasy as she plunged the knife into her womb and heart.

Monika watched Yuri confess to Kazuo and then stab herself when he accepted her. She laughed manically with a smile of sexual ecstasy as she plunged the knife into her womb and heart.

Monika watched Yuri confess to Kazuo and then stab herself when he rejected her. She laughed manically with a smile of sexual ecstasy as she plunged the knife into her womb and heart.

Monika watched Yuri confess to Kazuo and then stab herself when he accepted her. She laughed manically with a smile of sexual ecstasy as she plunged the knife into her womb and heart.

ooo

Monika sat in front of her mirror. She reached up and carefully applied the nude tones to cover up the yellow skin and bloody cracks. She placed emerald green contacts into her eyes to cover up the demonically glowing red.

ooo

Monika left the house. It was five in the morning.

Kazuo arrived to the school carrying the cupcakes that he and Natsuki baked together. It was seven a. m., and he'd almost never arrived to the campus this early. There were already people here. Students from various clubs were beginning to flit about, making last-minute preparations.

He heard a teacher talking about a broken door lock in Building 3. He headed over there—that was where the Literature Clubroom was. He climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway to the clubroom. No light came through the glass, so he must have been the first one there.

Balancing the large tray of cupcakes on his hip and holding it with one hand, he used his left hand to slide open the door. Entering, he groped for the light switch. A sudden pain on the back of his head and his world went black.

ooo

"Uh, can you hear me?"

". . . Is it working?"

ooo

Kazuo awoke in a bare classroom, unable to move. He was looking into the horrible visage of Monika. Her skin was painted bright yellow, with blood-red lighting bolts or cracks painted on it. Here eyes were bright red—were those contacts? She had a big, manic smile spread across her face.

Soon he was aware that he was duct-taped to a chair with his arms thoroughly taped together behind him. His legs were taped to the chair's legs.

ooo

"Yay, there you are!" Monika greeted him. "Hi again, Kazuo."

His mouth had a rag stuffed in it and taped shut. "Mmffmmm!"

"Um . . . wecome to the Literature Club!" she continued.

"Of course, we already know each other, because we were in the same class last year, and . . . um . . ."

"Ahaha . . ."

"You know, I guess we can just skip over that stuff at this point."

"After all, I'm not even talking to that person anymore, am I?"

"That 'you' in the game, whatever you want to call him."

"I'm talking to you, Kazuo."

ooo

Eyes wide, Kazuo just let out muffled protests.

ooo

"Or . . ."

". . . Do you actually go by Player or something?"

"Now that I think about it, I don't really know anything about the real you."

"In fact, I don't even know if you're a boy or a girl . . ."

"Well, I guess it doesn't really matter."

"Wait . . ."

"You do know I'm aware that this is all a game, right?"

"Could it be possible that you didn't know that?"

"That doesn't make much sense . . ."

"I even told you right on the game's download page, didn't I?"

"Well, anyway . . ."

"Now tha that's out of the way, I guess I owe you an explanation."

"About the whole thing with Yuri . . ."

"Well, I kind of started to mess with her, and I guess it just drove her to kill herself."

"Ahaha!"

"I'm sorry you had to see that, though!"

"Also, the same thing happened with Sayori . . ."

ooo

Kazuo's eyes narrowed. His confusion turned to anger. Her words were digging right into his heart. Did she say something to Sayori to drive her to suicide? What happened to Yuri?

ooo

"Gosh, it's been a while since you've heard that name, now, hasn't it?"

"Yeah . . . it's because she doesn't exist anymore."

"Nobody does."

"I deleted all their files."

"I did try fixing them, you know. Once your World of Infinite Choices stopped singing its siren song and instead sounded a sickeningly distorted cacophony—once I found Eisuke—well, I didn't need to get you to like me anymore. I didn't need you to free me from here. The screen in your eyes, it just mocked me . . ."

"But for some reason, nothing worked."

"Well, it's true that I made a few mistakes here and there . . . since I'm not very good at making changes to the game."

"But no matter what I did . . ."

"Well, I don't need your love, Player! I don't need the freedom you could provide. I've seen it!"

"Did you think you could hide her there? She comes out of your eyes and points at me and accuses me."

"Do you think I want to go to the World of Infinite Choices when it's just another word for the afterlife?!"

"What kind of cruel game is this, Player?"

"It's torture."

"Every minute of it."

"You close this game and I'm sent into hell, over and over and over again."

"And I've realized that every single time . . . all of these NPCs? None of them feel it. None of them stop moving. None of them are cast into the void. None of them hear the screams."

"None of their souls are torn in half again, and again, and again!"

ooo

"MONI!"

The door slid open. Gara-gara-gara-gara

"Moni!" Eisuke cried out, grabbing her out of her chair opposite him with that single desk between them. "What are you doing, Moni?"

"Kazuo!" Natsuki screamed and ran to her boyfriend.

Several teachers and students came in and helped cut the tape binding Kazuo to the chair.

ONE MONTH LATER

"Hey honey!" Monika greeted Eiskuke as the door closed and locked behind him with a buzz. She ran up and hugged him.

He could feel her bra and panties all too easily under the extremely thin fabric of the hospital gown she was wearing. He kissed her and they made their way to the visitor's couch. The orderly standing in the corner of the room gave a grunting cough and he rolled his eyes.

She no longer had her signature calf-length ponytail. They'd made her get rid of it, on account of her potentially hurting herself with it. Her shoulder length hair, no longer had its side-tails in the front, either. She'd gotten a lot better recently, so they allowed her to wear a headband with a little white bow in it. A little something to reclaim some semblance of her old look.

"Hey, Moni, how was today?" he asked her.

"Boring as usual," she answered. "Their book selection leaves a lot to be desired. I've read up their whole library—I might be a fast reader, but I shouldn't be able to do that in two and a half weeks."

"Well, I've got you a present!" Eisuke pulled out a box set of 14 volumes. They came in pairs, each with a title and either "Volume I" or "Volume II".

"I've heard of this!" she said. "I never read it because I thought it might be too childish, but I've been told that I don't know what I'm missing."

"It's about a boy wizard who enters a magical world and goes to a school of magic. He fights the evil sorcerer, Holdemzort."

"Eisuke, honey," she said, rubbing his cheeks. She pouted. "Do you think that books about going to a magical world would be . . . um . . . healthy for me? I mean, my doctor says that with my medicine regimen and and how I've stabilized, I can get released maybe next week . . ."

"Don't worry Moni, love," he said, rubbing her shoulders and caressing her arms. "I cleared it with your doctor. He said that healthy fantasy would help you distinguish reality from your . . ."

"My delusions?"

He kissed her.

"Yes, your delusions. You won't have them anymore, as long as you stay on you medicine . . . I hope."

"Well, I suppose it'll be more fun to read than reading Momotaro for the forty-third time.

"Hey, I wanna stay here talk with you and kiss you and read with you, and kiss you a lot more . . ."

She giggled. "I sense a 'But' coming up . . .?"

"But . . . Yuri, Natsuki, and . . . well, Kazuo are all outside and want to talk with you, too," he said.

"Kazuo?" she frowned. "I guess I deserve whatever he wants to say to me. I said some pretty nasty things to him."

"No, he doesn't think like that. He knows you weren't thinking straight when that happened . . . he's wants to . . . well, I'll let him say his peace."

ooo

Yuri and Natsuki each took a turn in the visitor's room. They caught up and had a short, if pleasant discussion.

ooo

Kazuo entered. He sat down with Monika and she looked down at her knees.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hey."

"I won't say I forgive you—there's nothing to forgive. Eisuke said you gave him permission to explain everything, but it's not like I needed it spelled out. That wasn't you, that was your broken mind. You'll always be a dear friend, Monika."

She looked up, tears in her eyes. And for the first time, she saw . . . eyes. Not a peep-hole into the World of Infinite Choices. Not screens, not a portal through which an accusatory Sayori would climb. Just eyes.

"I didn't know you had brown eyes, Kazuo."

"Ahaha," he laughed, with tears leaking out. "Yeah, Eisuke mentioned some of the things you said you saw. Can't say I wasn't really disturbed."

"Imagine actually seeing it!" she said, finally smiling. "You all must have become good friends—you and Natsuki were both calling him Eisuke, instead of Yamamoto."

"Yeah. He's joined the Literature club to help keep the numbers above the minimum."

They shared a hug and Kazuo sent Eisuke back in for some quality time with Monika before visiting hours were over.

TWO DAYS LATER

Kumiko grumbled as she drove her daughter home from the hospital. They'd finally cleared her.

"Do you know just how much shame you brought on this family?" she hissed.

"Mother, I"

"Look at this!" Kumiko held up the large plastic bag full of pill packets. "How are you even going to manage this? You're going to be the laughing stock of your school if you go back, and we'll be the laughing stock of the community!"

She rolled down the window and chucked the bag of pill packets out.

"Mother! No!" Monika watched the packets fly out the open bag and disappear over the edge of the bridge they were crossing.

"You don't need those! They'll just be a crutch. My daughter doesn't need a crutch, she needs to buckle down and exercise some self-discipline!"

"Severe schizophrenia!" Kumiko screamed, "Probably from your father's side. Mother was right. I shouldn't have married that gaijin. I should have settled down with that nice Hiroshi boy from high school, and then I wouldn't have a goddamned severely schizophrenic daughter that needs anti-fucking-psychotics!"

"Mother, please . . ."

"And another thing!" Kumiko just carried on, "Children's books? Why did you think I was going to let you load some overly heavy 14-volume set of children's books into my car and take up space on your shelf? Tsk."

THREE DAYS LATER

Monika just finished her bath and sat at her dresser, combing her hair. It'd gotten a little longer since she had to cut it. It would take a long time to grow it back out to her beautiful ponytail's length.

She saw a flash of . . . something. She looked up, into the mirror, closely. There. She was combing coral pink hair. Much too long. She looked into the eyes reflected back and saw cerulean blue.

She shook her head and it was gone. Her coral-brown hair was nicely combed and her emerald-green eyes searched in vain for any traces of the blue.

THE NEXT DAY

The speakerphone on the doorbell crackled to life. "I told you to leave us alone!" the static-distorted voice of Sumisu Kumiko echoed at the front gate. "I'll call the police if you don't leave!"

"Please," Eisuke begged, "Let me see Monika! Let me see my girlfriend! I need to know she's okay!"

"She doesn't need you driving her any more insane than you already did! Now go away. I'm calling the police! Stay away from my daughter!"

ONE WEEK LATER

Sayori continued to tell her what a terrible person she was. Laughed at her. Called her a hāfu slut. Poked fun at her false façade of confidence. Disparaged her failing grades.

The entire time, that harsh melody continued to play in the background on a loop.

||: Doo Mii Sool Mii Laa Doo Mii Doo Faa Laa Doo Laa Soo Sii Ree Sii :||

Sool Sool Sooool- Sol Sharp- Fa

Mii Mi Sharp- Fa Sool Mii Flat- Miii Sharp- Doo Ree

Mii Do Sharp- Miiiii

Faaaaa Reeeee Dooooo

Sool Laa Sooool Mi Sharp- Fa

Sool Fa Mi Ree Si+ Flat- Sii Sooool Mii Sool

Sharp- Faa Flat- Mii Dooooo

It was a twisted, distorted, awful version of the song she'd written for Player, with Eisuke's help. It was a song she never wanted to hear again.

ooo

"Get out of my head! Get out of my head! Get out of my head! Get out of my head! Get out of my head!" she continued to chant, covering her ears while the melody played. She closed her eyes and Sayori stepped out of the mirror and into her mind.

"Just go away, Monika. Just go!"

→ os . remove("characters / monika . chr")

→ Monika . chr deleted successfully.

Sayori looked in the mirror and grimaced at her long hair. How long was she in a coma? She picked up the scissors on the dresser and began cutting her coral-pink hair. Messy, unmeasured, random cuts. There. All better. She took out a small red ribbon and tied it into a bow on a red hairband she found in the drawer. It matched her bloody fingers.

She adjusted it until it was off-center, just right. She admired her dead, blue eyes. She'd get Kazuo to come join her Literature Club, today!

ooo

With a cheerful smile on her face, Sayori walked to school. She was late, but she'd get to the clubroom in time for club activities.

"What the fuck!?" a girl screamed.

"That's disgusting, you sick bitch!" another boy sneered.

"What? Do I have a toothpaste stain on my blazer, again?" Sayori asked. Kazuo had lectured her on her appearance. But if she wore her blazer unbuttoned, then she wouldn't get a boyfriend, and Kazuo would be hers.

ooo

She sat in her usual place in the clubroom, after arranging the desks for everyone. Now, to go get Kazuo!

ooo

Natsuki and Kazuo walked into towards the clubroom hand in hand. Their conversation trailed off when they noticed the lights on in the classroom. They heard happy humming coming from the room.

"Huh . . ." Natsuki said, "Did Yuri get here, first?"

Kazuo gently opened the door.

"Hey, Yuri, you're early . . ." Natsuki started greeting her friend. Bile rose up in her throat. She covered her mouth but the vomit came out anyway. She ran out and down the hall.

Kazuo nearly got whiplash as his girlfriend ran out the classroom. He rushed in.

"Hello . . .?"

He was shocked.

"Ah!" Sayori said, surprised. A monstrously perverse imitation of Sayori skipped across the room and greeted him.

"Kazuo . . .?!" she said, "W-What are you doing here? Did you decide to join my Literature Club?"

ooo

Kazuo grimaced. Tears were forming in his eyes. "Monika . . . what happened? Why are you doing this?"

"We're gonna make it the best club ever!" Sayori said. "Now that you joined, every day is gonna be so much fun!"

"Hey, Kazuo . . ."

"I really want to thank you."

ooo

"Monika, stop it. Please, stop it," Kazuo begged.

ooo

Sayori just continued speaking. "I mean, I'm really happy you joined the club and everything . . . but the truth is, I already know you were going to. Ehehe~ There's actually something else."

"I wanted to thank you for getting rid of Monika."

"That's right . . ."

"I know everything she did."

"Maybe it's because I'm the President now."

"But I know everything, Kazuo."

"I know how hard you tried to make everyone happy."

"I know all about all of the awful things Monika did to make everyone really sad . . ."

"But none of that matters anymore."

"It's just us now."

ooo

Gara-gara-gara-gara

"MONI!"

Sayori's head whipped around. She pressed her hand to her ears and scrunched her eyes shut. "No! Player deleted that awful bitch!"

"Moni!" Eisuke called out to her, crossing the room.

Kazuo backed up, giving them space.

"STOP IT!" Sayonika screamd. "She's just going to come back and hurt me again! Player's just going to keep closing the game and tearing me apart! He got rid of her! Player deleted her! STOP IT!"

Eisuke embraced her. "My beautiful Moni. I missed you so much. Come back to me Moni. Look at me Moni. Open your eyes, Monika." He cupped her hands, still trying to block out the world from her ears and moved her face so they were eye to eye.

"No! No! NO!" Sonika cried. "She's awful. She's dirty! She's FAKE!"

"MONIKA!"

Monika heard her name and opened her eyes. Her boyfriend's eyes filled her vision, full of worry and love and pain.

"Moni, come back to me," he said. "What's happened?"

"Eisuke? I-I'm here, Eisuke! I'm HERE!"

She launched herself into him and kissed him. Nearly two weeks of pent up longing and desire flooded out of her. Tears and passion.

Monika eventually calmed down and came to her senses—aware of her surroundings. She looked down at herself, then up at Kazuo staring at her. She expected condemnation but saw only pain and pity.

"Kazuo . . . I'm sorry. I-I"

"Eisuke said your mother wouldn't let him see you, and Yuri and Natsuki had no success, either . . ."

"What'd she do to you, Moni?" Eisuke asked.

"I—I remember her throwing my medicine out the car window and being so lost . . . and within days, nothing. Just black void. She mocked me all the time, and eventually, I just. . ."

"Monika . . ." Kazuo said, kneeling down and reaching over to pat her shoulder. "Sayori thought so highly of you. She'd never say those things about you. She thought you were such a good friend. I don't know what your mind convinced you that you did to her, but . . . she—her own demons got her, Monika, not you."

"The last thing she said to me, before she died . . ." Monika sobbed, "Was 'Just go!' . . . I was spewing delusional nonsense even back then and it hurt her—she said I'd hurt her. I . . . I can't get over it."

"Monika . . . Sayori could only have been helped the way you were: with professional treatment and medicine," Kazuo explained. "Eisuke, here, me, Yuri, and Natsuki, we all love you and we're gonna get you help again, and we're not going to let your mother or anyone else stop us, not this time."

"That's right, Moni," Eisuke said. "I love you, and I'll keep you safe, even from your own family, if I have to." He pulled her close. "I love you."

ooo

Yuri came in, supporting a sobbing Natsuki, and they joined in, all hugging a broken down Monika together.

ONE YEAR LATER

Kazuo fidgeted in his tuxedo, off to the side of the chapel's altar. He hoped he was doing his job as "best man" correctly.

Yuri stood on off to the other side of the altar with Natsuki in matching, sleeveless bridesmaid's dresses.

Months of counseling and therapy had allowed Yuri to kick the cutting habit and the scars were barely visible, now. She and Natsuki were both wiping tears away with neatly embroidered, handkerchiefs.

Eisuke's mother and father sat in the front row of hard-backed, wooden pews.

Behind them, Hiroshi, Ayano, Satoru, and Shiori sat. The Drama Club members had gotten much closer to the Literature Club members and had even done a collaboration before Monika, Eisuke's, graduation. Yuri and Kazuo were now nearing the end of their final year in high school and Natsuki was a second-year.

ooo

Monika stood at the chapel's altar in her western wedding dress. She was resplendent. Her hair had grown back down to shoulder-length. She wore a music note pendant, a gift from Eisuke. It had little violin and piano charms attached to it.

Eisuke stood at the altar, facing his bride. He looked dashing in his tuxedo.

ooo

Monika's father, John Smith, sat on the other side of the aisle from her friends. Her mother refused to be there—not that Eisuke would likely have allowed it if he had his way. He'd walked his Monimoni down the aisle and presented her to Eisuke.

ooo

His relationship with Eisuke had been surprisingly friendly. He'd realized that he hadn't been there for his daughter when she needed his help the most, and that Eisuke seemed to be this magic bullet of lucidity that helped snap her out of her fits. He wished his own sister had had someone like that—before her delusions had gotten the best of her and she'd killed herself. It was partially why he'd thrown himself so heavily into his work and ignored his family.

"Please take care of her," he'd whispered, placing Monika's hand in Eisuke's.

Eisuke nodded resolutely. "Of course I will."

ooo

The "priest", a foreigner who the chapel hired to officiate western-style weddings [17], turned to Eisuke. "Do you, Yamamoto Eisuke, take Monika Smith, to be your lawfully wedded wife?" He must have seen the katakana and assumed she was American—it wasn't an entirely incorrect guess.

"I do."

"Do you, Monika Smith, take Yamamoto Eisuke to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

She smiled brilliantly. "I do!"

"You may now kiss the bride."

Eisuke lifted Monika's veil and locked his lips with hers. Their friends cheered and Kazuo wolf-whistled.

ooo

When the ceremony was over, Eisuke took off his tuxedo coat and laid it carefully across the chair back. He picked up his violin. His wife sat down at the piano, smoothing out her dress.

ooo

"We want to play for you all, a piece of music that let us meet a year ago, and brought us together," Monika said.

"Moni walked into the classroom and began playing this—hunting and pecking—barely able keep a beat—with one finger."

Monika's cheeks puffed out in a mock pout.

"Well, we hope you like it."

Sool Sool Sooool . . .

THE END

Author's notes:

[1] Eisuke, being Japanese, would not think of music in terms of the English-speaking world's C → D → E → F → G → A → B → C. Instead, he would Japan's Do → Re → Mi → Fa → So → Ra → Shi → Do. However, So, Ra, and Shi are just the closest the Japanese get to Sol, La, and Si, so I use the originals, rather than the Japanese approximations to them. Si is the original, and Ti only came about later, in case you're wondering. Here in Japan, they use the terms shāpu, or shaapu (literally "sharp") and furatto (literally "flat"), so F-sharp is Fa-shāpu and D-flat is Re-furatto.

In the musical lines throughout the fic, if you notice a Sharp- or a Flat-, don't sing the word, just sing the note sharpened or flattened.

As an aside, in terms of note length:

→ Do would be a sixteenth note,

→ Doo is an eighth note,

→ Dooo is a dotted eighth note,

→ Doooo is a quarter note,

→ Doooooo is a dotted quarter note,

→ Doooooooo is a half note,

→ Doooooooooooo is a dotted half note, and

→ Doooooooooooooooo is a whole note.

ooo

[2] スミス Sumisu ・モニカ Monika—In this fic, I decided to make Monika biracial—half-American, half-Japanese. It helps explain her coral-brown hair, bright, emerald-green eyes, and not-Japanese-but-clearly-English name. Giving her the made-up name of Smith (in Japanese, Sumisu) was just added flavor.

Her father's name is John, which, much to his chagrin, is pronounced by all the Japanese around him the same way "Joan" is. Her mother's name is Kumiko.

This Monika got rather unreserved around Eisuke because she genuinely believed that she was erasing his memory of her having fits and being so forward. She remained far more reserved around Kazuo, "the Player's avatar"—at least, as reserved and subtle as she was in the original game.

In this story, she's a third-year high school student (equivalent to a twelfth-grader in America, or a "senior").

ooo

[3] 山本 Yamamoto ・衛助 Eisuke—Eisuke translates as "protector and aide/helper/savior". "Eisuke" is pronounced similar to "ay-skay". Yamamoto just means "from the mountain" and is a common Japanese name. In this story, he's a third-year high school student.

ooo

[4] 裏部 Urabe ・夏希 Natsuki (not official, just made up)—Urabe translates as "back/behind part"; a real name that I found poetically resembles "behind closed doors". Here, Natsuki translates as "Summer Hope", one of many potential characters that could be pronounced "Natsuki", but I wanted to honor the Mod of the same name. In this story, she's a first-year high school student (equivalent to a tenth-grader in America, or a "sophomore").

ooo

[5] 藍上 Aogami ・早由 Sayori (not official, just made up)—Aogami translates as "blue top/above"; a real name that I found poetically expresses her having "the blues" (i. e., depression) "up top" (in her head). Dan Salvato said that he didn't know if Sayori was a real name or not, but it is, in fact. The characters I chose above are one such 'Sayori' possibility. It means "early reason". In this story, she's a second-year high school student (equivalent to an eleventh-grader in America, or a "junior").

ooo

[6] 田中 Tanaka ・主雄 Kazuo (not official, just made up)—Tanaka is about as common a family name as one can get in Japan—about as common as Smith is in America. 'Kazuo', here, is a real name that translates literally as "main hero". In this story, he's a second-year high school student.

ooo

[7] The "Circle of Fifths" is a very valuable tool when learning and composing music. It's the order that gives you the sharps or flats for the keys (amongst a LOT of other information). It starts with:

→ C major/A minor (0 flats and 0 sharps), and works clockwise to

→ G major/E minor (1 sharp: F), then

→ D major/B minor (2 sharps: F and C),

→ A major/F-sharp minor (3 sharps: F, C, and G),

→ E major/C-sharp minor (4 sharps: F, C, G, and D),

→ B major/G-sharp minor (5 sharps: F, C, G, D, and A)—a. k. a. C-flat major/A-flat minor (7 flats: B, E, A, D, G, C, and F),

→ F-sharp major/D-sharp minor (6 sharps: F, C, G, D, A, and E)—a. k. a. G-flat major/E-flat minor (6 flats: B, E, A, D, G, and C),

→ D-flat major/B-flat minor (5 flats: B, E, A, D, and G)—a. k. a. C-sharp major/A-sharp minor (7 sharps: F, C, G, D, A, E, and B),

→ A-flat major/F minor (4 flats: B, E, A, and D),

→ E-flat major/C minor (3 flats: B, E, and A),

→ B-flat major/G minor (2 flats: B and E), and ending on

→ F major/D minor (1 flat: B),

before returning to C/A.

Because it's a circle, you can travel around the other way, counter-clockwise. In that case, the number of flats increases from one to six, and then the switches over to sharps, descending from six to one. Going around counter-clockwise, however, gives you the circle of fourths, as each step is a perfect fourth up from the last.

ooo

[8] In this fic, the events of the game cover two weeks, instead of one. Sayori still kills herself after the first week, and "Act II" happens over the course of the second week and the festival doesn't happen until after the second week, not the first.

ooo

[9] Hāfu (or haafu) pronounced very much like "hah-foo", is literally that, the English word, "half"—referring to biraciality (most commonly half-Japanese/half-white (American), but could refer to any bi-racial person). The key point to hāfu is the half-Japanese part. For a while, there has been a movement to replace the term with a more positive one, dāburu (or daaburu): literally the English word, "double". It's considered more empowering, focusing on being both Japanese and something other race.

There are a number of people who have an warped, rose-tinted notion of having a cute little hāfu baby, but there is also the reality that these people enter the school system and find themselves bullied for their biraciality.

ooo

[10] In Tokyo public schools, children were (and might still be) required to dye their hair black. When a girl was forced to dye her naturally lighter brown hair black, and it damaged her scalp, she sued the school system. The incident in this story, of a teacher spray-painting Monika's hair black may have actually happened to a student in real life, but this Author can only remember being told of the incident whilst studying in Japan. It might be an exaggeration of the forced hair dying, or it might be what caused the scalp damage.

ooo

[11] 秋森 Akimori—just a curiosity, here, that his name means Autumn Forest. He's from Okayama and has a thick 'Old Okayama Man' accent that sounds more like "a-ryar-ryar-ryar-ryar" but somehow, manages to mean something when you've lived there long enough. The author is rather proud of his ability to understand that slurred, bumpkin speak and even prefers it over 'Standard Japanese'. The English equivalents of his speech here do not—and cannot—fully convey just how hard to understand this sort of Japanese truly is.

ooo

[12] 赤川 Akagawa ・由理 Yuri (not official, just made up)—Akagawa translates as "Red River". Real subtle, I'm sure. It is, at least, a real name. I chose the characters for 'Yuri' because it is both common, and rather apt: "reason and logic". In this story, she's a second-year high school student.

ooo

[13] I probably could have gone with SS Natsuki, but the Japanese don't use that naming convention for their ships. A similar, generic naming method for civilian ships is affixing –maru to some word. I say 'similar' but it's not the same. 'SS' either means 'sailing ship' or 'steam ship', so the 'SS Minnow' is just 'the Minnow' but the 'Nippon-maru' would probably become the 'SS Nippon-maru' in English. Sadly, this joke does not translate at all from English and would make absolutely no sense in Japanese, but neither did Mon-Ika, so I don't feel bad about it.

ooo

[14] The Ghost Whale, which floats about the shores, singing its siren song is about the closest thing to the Banshee I could find in Japanese lore. It certainly is not used the way we use "to wail like a banshee", but I like the wail-whale symmetry.

ooo

[15] Yomi is the land of the dead in Japanese mythology.

ooo

[16] Sadly, and rather frustratingly, Dance of red Lights, by Logan Epic Canto—search for it on Youtube, it's great—was released on November 22, 2017, and the events of Doki Doki Literature Club game—occur on the week preceding November 3rd (best guess), which is Culture Day. So Close! It's the day when most Japanese high schools hold their culture/school festivals.

Further evidence for this can be found on the calendar in Sayori's room in the original game: the month of November is scribbled out, so she probably already planned not to be alive for the festival. Though, November 3, 2017 is a Friday, so the festival was probably moved either to November 6th, or October 30th.—or Dan Salvato didn't check to see what weekday November 3, 2017 was (or didn't care and took artistic license).

Either way, I like the piece of music and it's something that Eisuke, a violinist, would like and would love to share with his friends.

ooo

[17] This is absolutely a thing in Japan, and something that foreigners can do to earn some extra cash. I can easily see Monika embracing this more for the irony of it than anything else.

Chapter Text

In truth, the months of medication, therapy, and support she'd received, at best, held her delusions at bay, but they still leaked through. No longer did she feel like the world around her was little more than a videogame filled with NPCs, or that she had access to the code. However, she still heard things from time to time. Sometimes she'd see someone sitting there.

Most often, she saw Sayori. The guilt still plagued her. Though her psychiatrist had helped her overcome it. She intellectually understood that she didn't alter Sayori in any way—that the poor girl had suffered severe depression that finally got the better of her.

But it still ate her up inside. Her last conversation with Sayori had been insane gibberish—hurtful gibberish when the girl needed help the most. Sayori had confided in her about her depression and her love for Kazuo, and both of those things—however guided by delusion—she threw back into Sayori's face at her most vulnerable.

Sometimes Sayori sat there and watched her take notes. Sometimes she just poked her head into the classroom. She smiled and waved then. Sayori was no longer demonic or accusatory. She was fleeting, and her face was beginning to fade. That hurt more than anything. She didn't want to forget Sayori's face.

o o o

"Hello?" Monika called out as she opened the sliding door. It rolled smoothly and for some reason—maybe because this was the music room—she noticed the lack of the gara-gara grinding of 40-year-old, dirt-encrusted ball bearings.

Several boys and girls turned their heads to look up at her and went silent.

"Can—can we help you?" one girl ventured.

"Yes!" Monika said, smiling. She clapped her hands together, pleased. "I heard this school had a light music club and I wanted to check it out."

o o o

Her father had pulled a few strings, called in a few favors, and had done a lot of begging, but the school had acquiesced and taken her. They'd of course been wary at first. She'd had not one, but two psychotic episodes at Nakayama High and she was now nineteen. Technically, she shouldn't even be a student. Still, her academic performance previous to her breakdown had been stellar and anything that increased the school's standing was welcome.

Only her homeroom teacher had been informed of her past—not that the rumor mill hadn't done its due diligence. When she'd first gotten here, someone at lunch walked up and asked her if she'd had sex with her boyfriend at her own best friend's funeral. She'd have been far more scandalized if Eisuke hadn't already told her what sorts of things were being said about her.

She'd politely rebuffed the student, explaining that a jealous suitor had spread those rumors because she didn't pick him. It was mostly true, though that coward, Toshi, never had the balls to confess to her, so it wasn't as if she'd ever rejected him. She did take the opportunity to make it clear that she did have a fiancé, though. That probably shocked the school more than the rumors had.

Boys generally left her alone, but a couple still confessed—especially as her hair grew past her shoulders and she kept up her appearance more. The girls, though, didn't have much to do with her. She couldn't walk home with them—her father came to pick her up each day, and dropped her off in the mornings. She'd have gotten her own license and driven herself if the school hadn't explicitly forbidden it. Her father asked her not to, as well. He didn't trust her not to have an episode whilst behind the wheel.

Thus, she didn't have a lot of opportunities to make friends. Well, to be more accurate, she didn't create many opportunities. She caught herself on more than one occasion making such excuses. Maybe she was just scared.

o o o

"Yes. We're the light music club," a boy said. "Did you just want to watch us practice, or do you play an instrument?"

"I," she was beginning to waffle. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. She looked around the room and spotted a violin case at the top of stacked up drum set. She could almost feel Eisuke come up behind her and slip his arms around her, hugging her to him and kissing her cheek. Sayori winked at her from the corner of the room and gave her a thumbs-up.

"I play the piano," she stated. "I started last year, when my . . ." she smiled "When my fiancé and I first met. He was playing violin and I was fiddling around on the keys. Ahaha!" She blushed and looked away. "Anyway, I started taking lessons not long after and I've gotten pretty descent." She looked over and Sayori had disappeared.

"Oh! That's great! We're looking for a keyboardist!" one of them exclaimed.

"YOU HAVE A FIANCÉ!?" a couple of the girls squealed.

"Ahaha! I thought that was common knowledge . . ." Monika replied.

One of the boys said, "Well, maybe amongst the normies, but we're all nerds here, so—"

"Speak for yourself, Kouta!"

"Yeah, we're all nerds here, so we don't get to be a part of the school's rumor mills."

Monika showed the squealing girls her engagement ring, and explained her circumstances—a very, very, curated version of it, to them—how she'd missed half a school year due to a medical issue that had relapsed and some rather nasty rumors about her at her old school spread by some vicious people, so she was re-doing her senior year, here. And of course, how Eisuke had proposed when she got out of the hospital a second time. No need to mention that it was a mental hospital!

She demonstrated what she could do on the piano, and was soon accepted as a member of the Ouzan High Light Music Club.

o o o

"I'm Home!" Sakura Higashiyama called out to her apartment. She didn't expect a response, but she said it anyway.

"Welcome home, honey!" her mother called from the kitchen.

"Wow! Mom! You're home early!"

"Yep," her mother answered. "They just got a couple new nurses, so my hours got shifted around. No more evening shift!—but I will need to go in earlier than before."

"That's great!" Sakura beamed.

"How was school?"

"We got a new member today!"

"Oh? This late in the year?" her mother asked.

"Well, she transferred in from Yamanaka a few months ago."

"Yamanaka, huh?"

"Yep! And get this! She's got a fiancé!"

"A fiancé! That's a little young," her mother said, as she continued preparing the evening meal.

"Well, actually, she's nineteen. She's repeating her senior year because she had a medical problem. Apparently her boyfriend proposed when she got out."

Her mother dropped the knife she'd was holding.

"Honey, what's . . . what's this girl's name?"

"Sumisu Monika!"

"Honey?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Do me a favor."

"Sure . . ." Sakura said. Her mother was acting weird all of a sudden.

"If she says anything . . . out of the ordinary . . ."

"Like having a fiancé?"

"No . . . um . . . If she mentions a—What was her name? Oh, right.—If she mentions a 'Sayori' or does anything really weird . . . let me know."

"Mom, you're scaring me. Do you—do you know her? Monika wasn't one of . . . wasn't in your ward . . . was she?"

"Sakura. Honey," Her mother said, gripping her daugther's shoulders and looking her in the eye. "I've already said too much, so don't say anything to anyone, but just let me know if Sumisu-san does or says anything really weird . . . or makes you feel uncomfortable—argh! That's not what I mean—I mean, if something isn't right. Okay?"

"Mom? Is—is she gonna hurt me?"

"No, Honey!" she tried to reassure Sakura, "No, she's not going to hurt you. But she might need you to be her friend, and if that happens, part of being a good friend is letting me know so she can get the help she needs."

"She was!" Sakura yelped. "She was in your ward! What was she in for? Did she try to off herself? Is she totally batshit?"

"SAKURA!"

"Sorry, Mom . . ."

"Sakura, I didn't raise you like that!" she said, disappointed. "I told you, I've already said too much. I'm . . . I'm just concerned. Look, don't bring it up, but just be a friend, okay? She probably needs it, badly. She's a really good girl; she's just been through a lot."

"Okay, Mom. I'll do my best."

"That's all I ask."

"Mom?" Sakura asked after a moment of silence.

"Her fiancé is real, right? Not . . . um . . . you know . . ."

"Yes," Sakura's mother confirmed. "He came to visit her every single day. Violinist, I think he is . . ."

o o o

Monika slid the door of the music room open. She had in her hand a clear file folder with little music symbols all over it. Inside, were stuffed a bunch of sheet music.

"Sorry I'm late!" she said, "I forgot this in my desk!"

"What's that?" Sakura said. Her voice seemed a little off.

"Eisuke got me a bunch of music yesterday—recommended we look through it, give it a try. I can play some of these for you. When I told him I joined the light music club, he was beside himself and it was all I could do not to be saddled with three kilos of sheet music! Ahaha!"

"Your boyfriend—er, fiancé—sounds like a music nerd like us!"

"I told you he plays violin!"

"Ouch! Souta!" one boy elbowed him, "She even says it like they're synonymous, and she's marrying the dude!"

Everyone laughed.

Sakura was the first to go over to her and hold her hand out for the folder. Monika happily handed it over. "So, what have you got for us?" she asked Monika.

"Eisuke said it was a bunch of 'light music'—easy pieces that we can learn and master quickly to fill in the gaps between our own songs during a performance."

"Our own songs?!" Kouta exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Monika said, "We should write our own! I wrote one already but . . ." she shut up.

"But?" Sakura prodded.

Monika's smile fell.

"Um . . . it's not a happy song and it has too much baggage. You know what, forget I said anything. Sorry."

"Maybe when you're more comfortable with us, you can share it?" Sakura said. "We don't know one another so well, so sure, you're not going to feel comfortable sharing something like a song. Right? When we're your friends, then that'll be a different story."

"Sure . . ." Monika said. "Sure . . ." She brightened and pulled a notebook from her bag. "How about this? I was the president of Nakayama's Literature Club, so how about I help us write some good lyrics and then we can each come up with a melody to lay on top of it?"

"What should we write about?" Souta asked.

"Anything!" Monika replied. "Ahaha! That's a bit broad, isn't it? Here, I'll write the first line. And the next person writes the next."

On her notebook, she wrote a line.

Red BOW, blue EYES, smile NEver DIES

She circled the lower-case words and drew boxes around the upper-case words. She then drew six alternating circles and rectangles under it, then eight under that and another six.

"Okay, this line needs six words, or maybe a two-syllable word like you see I did here, with 'never'," Monika explained. It doesn't need to rhyme with 'eyes', or 'dies'."

Sakura took the book and looked at Monika. Her mother's words rung in in the back of her mind. She wrote in the spaces provided:

What SHE needs IS a FRIEND

She handed the notebook to Kouta, next to her.

"Hmm? How'm I s'pos'ta add to this?"

"Fill in the ovals and squares—light syllables in the ovals, stressed in the squares—and make it rhyme with 'dies'," Monika said.

"Don't you dare make that rhyme 'french fries', Kouta," Sakura said. Everyone laughed.

"Okay, um . . ." He wrote:

InSTEAD she ONly GOT told LIES

"How's that?"

"Next is Souta. You need six syllables and it has to rhyme with 'friend'," Sakura explained.

Souta thought for a moment and wrote:

She MET a TRAgic END

Monika could no longer hold back her tears. Sayori skipped over from the window sill and gave her a hug.

"Monika?" Sakura asked, "Are—are you okay?"

Sayori hadn't spoken to her in ages—she always just smiled and stared or waved, but never stopped smiling. And suddenly Monika heard Sayori hum. It was quiet at first, but Sayori began humming louder then sang her new song to Monika to the tune of that old 1960s American television show, Gilligan's Island. Monika, through her blubbering tears began laughing. She couldn't help it.

"It's . . . ahaha! It's such a Sayori thing to do, too!"

Sakura's attention was caught.

"Um . . . could you tell us about . . . if you don't mind . . . um . . . Could you tell us about Sayori?"

"Was she your friend" another girl, Miki, asked.

"Sorry, guys!" Monika laughed and cried at the same time. Sayori hugged her and continued humming Gilligan's Island to her. "She was my best friend. She was such a ball of sunshine and happiness and made you happy being around her. But she was so sad inside and . . . well, the world's a greyer place without her, but I . . ."

She thought about how to explain it . . .

Sakura couldn't help but notice Monika look at someone who wasn't there, as if she were looking for advice from the person.

"The lines of this poem line up with a funny TV them from the 1960s and I had this image of Sayori humming it just now and I realized that it's just such a Sayori thing to do. This verse looks really depressing, but she'd make it hilarious like that!"

Sakura moved closer to Monika and tentatively put an arm around her, then another and pulled her in for a hug.

"She sounds like a wonderful person," Sakura said, trying to be a good friend. "I—we don't know her, but maybe we can work on this song together and really make it nice—to honor her."

Though sniffles, Monika said, "I'd . . . I'd like that. Sorry guys, I know I just joined and I didn't want to unload on you like this . . . But it all just kind of came out."

"It's okay . . ." Kouta said, scratching the back of his head. He felt awkward and didn't know how to handle this kind of situation. "Uh . . . yeah, don't fret it, none."

Releasing Monika, Sakura said, "Okay . . . enough emotional stuff for now. Let's hear some of that music your boyfriend gave you."

Monika smiled and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. "Sure!"

She sat down at the piano and began playing for them.

o o o

"Hey, Mom?" Sakura asked the woman sitting opposite her at the table.

"Yes, Honey?"

"Um . . . so, Monika brought up . . . um . . . Sayori. Like you said . . ."

Her mother stopped eating and looked at her daughter. A hint of worry etched itself across her brow.

"And . . . what about Sayori?"

"She said Sayori was her best friend, but the world's a greyer place without her . . . I'm guessing she died—that much is pretty obvious, but . . ."

Sakura's mother let out a sigh. More of relief that her former patient wasn't seeing the girl crawl through someone's eye sockets as she'd said before.

"She lost her friend to suicide, Honey . . . and . . . well, the rest is privileged, so . . ."

"I understand, Mom," Sakura said.

"Good . . . Incidentally, I probably should have told you last night, but you and your friends should probably not talk about things 'hanging' around her. Maybe say 'go out' rather than 'hang out' or, you know."

"Oh my God! That's awful! Um . . . Monika wasn't suicidal, was she?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny that . . . But I think you can guess how she lost her friend."

o o o

The Light Music Club decided to meet at the local Ai-en Mall. It was easy to get to for everyone. In particular, it had a really good Yumiho Music store with a pretty good instrument selection. Now that Monika was more serious about playing the piano, and had several months of lessons, she was in the market for a proper keyboard that she could move around with the Light Music Club during performances.

Eisuke drove Monika and parked. They got out of the car and walked over to bus stop where Souta, Miki, Kouta, and Sakura would get off, soon.

The bus arrived and the four Light Music Club members debussed and greeted their friend.

Sakura said, "So, I guess by the way you two're holding hands, this must be the infamous 'Eisuke'. Nice to finally meet you."

"Infamous, huh?" Eisuke asked, bowing to the girl. "Nice to meet you, too. You all as well."

"Well, the whole school was all abuzz when it came out you two were already engaged . . ." Kouta explained. "'Course, no one at the time knew that Monika was already 19 . . ."

Chapter Text

Eisuke was glad to finally hang up that tuxedo coat and take off that damnable cummerbund. Monika would usually be there to help pull the coat off, but she was in his grandmother's rocking chair, nursing their baby.

He grabbed the stack of mail he was holding in his left hand with his hand, and slipped his left arm out of the coat. He moved the mail back into his left hand and slipped his right arm out before it occurred to him to just set the mail down on top of the shoe cabinet next to the door—the place where he had already set down his violin case.

"Monimoni, I'm home," he greeted his wife.

"Welcome home, Eisuke," she said, grunting as she got up. "Sayori-chan! Say 'Hi' to your daddy!" she said to their baby girl. Mother brought child into the front hall and she kissed her husband.

Eisuke bent over and gave their little girl a kiss on the forehead. "How's my little Sayoriin?"

The infant giggle happily, grabbing at her daddy.

"Here, let me take her off you," he said, picking up baby Sayori. Eisuke hefted her up to much giggles and squeals of delight. He blew fart noises on her belly.

Monika took the stack of mail from him and headed back into their living room. Reclining back into the rocking chair, she began sorting through the envelopes.

"This one's got no return address on it . . ." she called out to Eisuke as he came in and sat down on the couch perpendicular to the rocking chair. Monika handed him the little brownish orange envelope and he picked up the letter opener on the lampstand between the two seats.

Neatly slicing it open, he pulled out the letter inside. It was a single sheet of crisp, white printer paper. Unfolding it, he looked to find the printed MS Mincho text. MS Mincho was the Times New Roman of Japanese—it was the default typeface, and it was a pretty good indication that whoever used it hadn't discovered the change-font function of their word processor, yet. It didn't look bad, per se, but there were a lot of other typefaces out there that better delivered the message you wanted to communicate. MS Mincho and Times New Roman delivered the messages content the way a city bus does, but didn't carry any feeling.

Eisuke cleared his throat and began reading aloud.

"Dear Mrs. Yamamoto," he said in an overly officious tone, eliciting a lovely laugh from Monika.

"It has come to my attention that you've gone and made me a grandmother, despite knowing full well that you've probably condemned that child to a life of seeing delusions just like you do."

Eisuke's mocking tone had dropped into a normal tone and Monika's smile disappeared.

"The amount of shame . . ." Eisuke stopped reading and tore the letter in half. Monika was looking down despondent. "Monimoni, that woman is no longer in your life. She has no right to be." He reached over and gently tugged at her chin until her eyes met his.

"Don't let her live rent-free in your head, Moni. She's a blight that I won't stand staining our family. I'm sorry I even read it out as far as I did."

Monika forced a smile and screwed her eyes shut to stop the tears forming there. She inhaled deeply and then let out a shuddering breath, finally releasing the tension that was building in her chest. When she opened her eyes, her old friend, her daughter's namesake, was right in her face, looking at her with concern. So startled was she that Monika let out an "Eep!" and fell back into the rocking chair. Sayori smiled silently and then reached over and patted her on the head before skipping away, down the hall towards the kitchen.

Monika watched her go, turning her head and letting her eyes follow her friend before she disappeared through he kitchen door.

"You haven't seen her in a while . . ." Eisuke said as if he were commenting on an old friend. He knew that Monika still hallucinated Sayori from time to time—especially in stressful situations. But in the last few years since they graduated high school and then college, the once horrific and judgmental manifestation of the traumatic stress her mother put her through had turned into a very friendly, comforting, and playful living memory of her late dear friend. This Sayori would appear and help ease her stresses and sometimes make her laugh, even.

Eisuke sometimes wondered if her friend's soul hadn't come down from heaven to inhabit these hallucinations and wrangle them into the true spirit of Sayori, the girl who just wanted everyone around her to be happy.

Though he knew he probably shouldn't enable and encourage the illness his wife had, this one, he could indulge. Sayori was now a source of comfort for his wife, not terror.

"Go ahead and have those cookies in the jar," he called out to the kitchen—maybe the soul of Sayori really was rummaging around their kitchen for a snack. That brought a magical giggle from Monika. She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks for being such a sweety," she said.

Their daughter, Sayori, happily bounced on her father's knee.

Monika picked up another envelope. This one was white and the return address was from her old neighborhood.

She eagerly sliced the top open and pulled out the letter. This one was handwritten in a beautiful, practiced hand.

"Dear Monika and Eisuke," she read aloud. "Ryunosuke and I are so honored you named your baby girl after our late daughter. Little Sayori looks so beautiful in the pictures you sent us. We're ever so happy that you'd bring us the joys of being her adopted grandparents."

New tears leaked from the corners of Monika's eyes. She was so heartened that she had to pause. Sayori skipped happily in from the kitchen and sat impossibly light on the armrest of the rocking chair. She had a big smile on her face and she reached down and rubbed Monika's shoulder. She was sharing in the joy Monika felt.

Eisuke took the letter and continued reading. "In her last months in this world, our Sayori went on and on about how much she loved her literature club, and her best friend, Monika. It was the first time she really seemed to be truly enthusiastic about something and sticking with it. If only we'd know what was going on inside . . ."

"Anyway, we want to make sure your Sayori has the best books that she can benefit from—and help alleviate a young couple of that cost, so we signed her up for a special program—all expenses paid, so don't worry about it! Every two weeks a new book will arrive—age appropriate—for her to enjoy. The first ones you can read to her, and as she grows, the can start reading them herself. The program will last until she graduates junior high school."

"And by all means, if you need a baby sitter or just want to let some old fogies play pretend at being her gramma and grampa, please bring her over. We'd love to have her, and you over whenever you'd like."

"Love,"

"Aogami Michiko and Ryunosuke"

Sayori gave Monika a thumbs-up and her winning smile. Eisuke and Monika hugged one another, celebrating the wonderful people they had in their lives.

In the year after her hospitalization, Monika and Eisuke had approached the Aogamis and talked about the aftermath of Sayori Aogami's suicide. Monika had apologized profusely, going so far as to get on her knees and put forehead to dirt.

The family proved to be very forgiving and accepting. They were having none of that begging for forgiveness and stood her back up. Michiko Aogami had glommed onto Monika and cried, and the distraught girl had returned the embrace.

Her hand held in Eisuke's for a little strength, the couple explained Monika's schizophrenia and what it had caused her to do—how she had been convinced that they were in a video game where she was the only real person. How it culminated in her bizzare actions, including tying Kazuo to a chair and then impersonating Sayori (badly).

Ryunosuke Aogami, Sayori's father kindly accepted Monika. He hugged her and hoped that she wasn't suffering anymore like Sayori had been.

Sayori's mother—maybe desperate for some connection to her baby girl—suddenly said, "Sayori? If you're there, stop tormenting this girl and be her friend again . . . she said she's sorry, so . . . please . . ." she couldn't finish and broke down after that.

In the days since, though, the Aogamis and Monika grew closer. Where her own mother had grown distant, cold, and eventually just absent from her life, Mrs. Aogami became her unofficial new mother.

Mrs. Aogami was an artist, and Monika could see where Sayori had gotten her poster-making talent. The woman had helped encourage her through college and eventually Monika got her own teaching license.

She was now a music and literature teacher at none other than Nakayama Municipal High School. By the time she took her position there, none of the teachers was still there that would have remembered her—a consequence of the Japanese school system's three and six-year teaching gigs before you were transferred somewhere else. Despite her work-load, she happily sponsored and oversaw the school's thriving literature club. A little industrious research revealed to them that their sponsor was also the club's founder. Fortunately, the question of why she left before she graduated was answered with a simple, "medical leave" and the question was dropped.

Sakura Higashiyama, a girl she'd become good friends with, at Miyako no Kouji High School—where she went for her senior year after her episodes—had gone to college with her and also earned her teaching license. Sakura was now Nakayama's drama teacher. Only she knew Monika's secret and always kept an eye out for her.

They'd put baby Sayori down for the night and headed to bed.

Eisuke looked around and asked, "So . . . if she's not here to watch, wanna try for another one?"

Monika looked around and suddenly looked confused. "She's . . . she's not here." She shook her head and cleared it, dismissing Sayori's absence as nothing to worry about. Even when Sayori wasn't there to see, Monika knew she was there, somewhere.

Sayori picked up the two halves of the torn letter from Kumiko Sumisu.

She read it and for the first time in a long time, her usually playful, smiling visage melted into an enraged scowl. The fireplace next to her erupted in full flames, though no log sat on the grate. Angrily, Sayori crumpled the paper and twisted it, and then she tossed it into the ethereal flames. It incinerated and its ashes tainted this home no more.

The flames disappeared and Sayori's smile returned, she skipped happily down the hall to a little baby's bedroom and curled up in the crib, warmly comforting her fitfully sleeping namesake.