Work Text:
Lavellan steps forward, carefully, each step measured as she approaches the prone form laid out upon the stone. His face seemed so serene, quiet and unassuming as he’d been when they’d first come across one another. His hands are folded over his stomach, no longer moving with the breaths of life, everything wiped from his body with something as simple as a misplaced arrow.
She tries desperately to peer through her tear blurred eyes, blinking hastily to remove them, but all it serves to do it make it worse, the hot salty tears mingling with the blood and gore spattered across her cheeks.
“This wasn’t what I wanted.” She manages to gasp out, her chest impossibly tight as her eyes rake over his still features, wishing that his eyes would open, the familiar grey churning up at her, secrets buried far deeper than she could ever reach.
Each breath is agonising, raking down her throat like the claws of the terror demon that had nearly taken her own life.
She wonders why it hadn’t now.
One trembling hand reaches out, hovering just over his pale skin, her entire body convulses with a shudder as she snatches her hand away, trying to reign in her harsh breaths and shuddering body. “Why did you do it?” She sobs, her knees crashing to the ground beneath her, body convulsing with sobs, the sounds of her agony echoing across the stones around her.
He’d finally come back, returned to her, had told her that he needed her help, then they would be together, everything would be solved. She’d hated him so much in the years he’d been away, but all her anger had drained away without a second thought when she’d seen him again.
Now he lay before her, as cold as the ice that formed on her balcony at Skyhold.
————-
She smiles as she feels his fingertips ghosting over her bare back, drawing Elvhen patterns across the freckled skin as he nudges her thick lock away. She cracks an eye open, peering at him from over her arms, cushioning her head beneath the soft down of her pillow.
“Morning Vhenan.” He whispers to her, grinning as she giggles and squirms when his fingers trace down her sides. He presses a soft kiss to her shoulder, his nose tracing the length of her spine as she sighs softly, nuzzling her cheek deeper into the pillow as he begins kneading her shoulders.
She laughs as he kisses in between her shoulder blades, whispering words of love against her pale skin, his hands hugging her tight as she laughs and rolls over.
———
She buries her head into her arms, trying to fight against the pain lancing white hot through her body, each beat of her heart feels like a stab through her body, her head pounding behind her eyes as she cries, the tears stinging her cheeks as she sobs.
“Inquisitor.” A voice comes from behind her, familiar and full of pain. Lavellan doesn’t turn, her eyes still focused on his still form, the gentle slope of his nose, delicate points of his ears, and the mid-morning sun shining off the bare skin of his head.
“Inquisitor… it’s time to leave.” Cassandra whispers, her hand reaching out to touch Lavellan’s violently trembling shoulder. Lavellan jerks like a wounded animal, stumbling back and wrenching her arm away from Cassandra.
Her eyes are wild, full of raw pain as she stares at Cassandra, shaking her head as she moves behind the stone, coming to stand on the other side of Solas’ body. “I won’t leave him!” She cries, lashing out at Cassandra as she reaches out for her.
“Don’t touch me.” She hisses her voice low and dangerous. Cassandra more than anyone knew what she was capable of, knew she was fire made flesh, a danger to her enemies – volatile, angry. Cassandra lets out a sigh, backing away with a wounded look in her eyes, Lavellan regrets it slightly, but all thoughts of anything else but Solas flee when she turns her eyes back to his body.
“Please come back Ma Vhenan.” She whispers, her quivering fingers reaching out to caress the smooth side of his cheek. She flinches viciously at the frigid temperature of his skin, his cheeks no longer flushed at her teasing, her outspoken flirting.
His lips weren’t as full as before, no longer full of expression, his eyes cold and lifeless, devoid of the passion for the world around him, as it had been before. A broken sob echoes throughout the temple, her choking cries sounding hoarser as the hours wear on, her eyes run dry and she sinks into oblivion, only to be haunted by him in the Beyond, chased by nightmares of his final moments.
She awakes with a scream, scrambling back against unknown horrors in the darkness. She stands, rushing over to him, her tears dripping down across his frozen form, running in small rivers down the crags of his features.
“I do not want to do this without you.” She whispers, taking in deep gasping breaths shuddering through her form, heart pounding desperately, fighting against her weary and aching form. “I can’t do this without you.”
Her pleas go unanswered.