Work Text:
No one quite understood how Atsumu and Kiyoomi ended up together. Honestly, neither did they. They fought all the time, they were constantly at each other’s throats, and their dynamic just wasn’t understood by most.
Atsumu never questioned their relationship, though. No one knew how sweet and loving Kiyoomi could be. No one knew about how the hands that spike with such power could touch him so tenderly.
Nobody knew about the way Kiyoomi whispered ‘I love you’ into Atsumu’s hair before they fell asleep or the way he loved to kiss Atsumu’s hands before a game.
Kiyoomi loved Atsumu. Atsumu, who was cocky and prideful and imperfect. Kiyoomi loved him, regardless of his faults. Putting aside their regular fights over petty things, Atsumu was happy with Kiyoomi and Kiyoomi could honestly say that he was too.
Every relationship has their good days and bad days, right?
~
“No, Atsumu, I’m fucking done. You always do this. You always play the fucking victim.”
Today is a bad day.
“I am the victim here, Omi! Ya can’t keep actin’ like this.”
Bad days are okay, because they always get through it.
“Oh, that is rich. And how are you the victim? Humour me.”
The blame game is the beginning. It only gets worse from here. It always gets worse from here.
“You’re way too possessive, Omi. Ya can’t blow a fuse every time I show affection to another guy. I’m gonna tell my friends I love 'em, I’m gonna run to hug Sunarin every time I see ‘im and yes, I’m gonna go out with my friends alone sometimes! I have a life outside of our relationship, Omi!”
Possessive; that’s always the word Atsumu likes to use when speaking about Kiyoomi. Whether it’s reassuring people that he’s not toxic, he’s just possessive or whether it’s being used against him when they fight.
Kiyoomi knows he can get… possessive… but it’s only because he loves Atsumu and he doesn’t want to lose him. Okay, maybe, there’s some underlying insecurity that Atsumu will leave him for someone better, but he prefers not to dwell on the thought.
“You went out with fucking Suna without telling me. What's worse is you lied about it. You hid it from me. Why would you do that?”
Atsumu knows he fucked up. He knows this is partially on him. He could just apologise, take the heat and be done. It could be that easy. Only, he can’t back down. Not when the blame game is still going strong. Apologizing means losing and Atsumu has always been a sore loser.
“What choice did ya give me, huh? Lie to ya and have a good day out with a friend, or tell ya the truth and get full blown fuckin’ interrogated when I get back. It’s always the same thing with ya and it’s exhaustin’, Omi.”
Silence. This is what comes after the blame game. Silence where they both stand staring at each other, trying to decide where to go from there. It usually ends up with each man storming off to their own part of the house until they get sick of fighting and one of them eventually caves in and apologizes.
More often than not, it's Atsumu who breaks first and ends up apologizing, even when he's not in the wrong.
“Fine. Enjoy your life outside of this relationship. Enjoy it all you want, because it's over.”
This is not how it usually goes.
Atsumu panics. Kiyoomi’s not supposed to just give up. He’s supposed to storm out the door and take a walk to cool off while Atsumu sits alone with his regret.
“No, Omi, you’re right. I’m playin’ the victim. Let’s just forget about it, yeah?”
Atsumu doesn’t like where this is going. This isn’t how their fights are supposed to go.
“No, Atsumu. I’m fucking done. You want to go out and see other guys? Go for it. You’re free as a fucking bird.”
This is not supposed to happen.
“What d’ya mean? I don’t-“
“We’re fucking over, Atsumu.”
Atsumu’s heart sinks.
“Omi, no, ya can’t just be done. I’m sorry, I really am. I’ll be better, I’ll-“
“Everyone was right, you know? About how we wouldn’t last.”
“Omi, I love ya. Please, don’t make rash decisions.”
“I’m not making rash decisions. I’m fucking done.”
Kiyoomi turned to walk out of the apartment. Normally, this was a good thing, because they needed space to cool off, but Atsumu doesn’t think Kiyoomi will be coming back.
Every relationship has their good days and bad days – theirs, especially. They fight. They fight all the time, but not like this.
Never like this. This has never happened before.
~
Kiyoomi thinks he did the right thing. He’s clearly too much for Atsumu to handle. They both just need time off for to themselves. They’ll be back together in no time. They love each other, this silly fight won’t change that – after all, every relationship has their bad days.
Right?
~
Atsumu doesn’t think he’s ever cried as much as he did in these past three hours. Three hours spent on the floor of his apartment, sobbing, too tired to get up. He didn’t know what to do, so he called his brother.
“It’s gonna be alright, Tsumu. I can’t catch a train to Osaka tonight, but I’ll be over tomorrow, yeah? I love ya. Please take care of yourself.”
Rintarou was with him. He had comforting words to say and although it made Atsumu feel better, he couldn’t help but feel like shit.
Phone calls always felt so impersonal. Atsumu’s a lover, he needs physical comfort. He needs hugs and to be taken care of.
And, so, he calls Shoyou.
“Tsumu? Are you okay? You sound terrible.”
Always so caring – that’s what Shoyou is. That’s what Atsumu needs right now.
“I’m coming to pick you up. You’re staying the night at my place. Pack whatever you need to pack, I’ll be right over.”
If it were any other day, any other time, Atsumu would turn down the offer. He doesn’t like inconveniencing people, especially not his friends. He knows he’s hard work sometimes and he hates people going out of their way for him.
Yes, it’s because they care, but Atsumu can’t help but feel it’s because they don’t think they have a choice. As if they don’t want to help, they just feel obligated to. Caring is just an obligation that comes with being friends with someone, isn't it?
“Is this all you’re bringing?”
Atsumu hadn’t had the energy to properly pack. He gets into Shoyou's car with nothing but a hoodie draped over his arm. The drive is quiet, but Atsumu doesn’t mind. It’s not an awkward silence, it’s comfortable. He’s always felt comfortable with Shoyou. Honestly, it's impossible to feel anything but comfortable around him.
“There’s a fluffy blanket at the end of the couch, make yourself comfortable. I’ll make us some tea. Have you eaten anything?”
Atsumu shakes his head, dragging himself to the couch. He’s been to Shoyou's apartment before – a couple times, actually. Not enough to be entirely comfortable, but at this moment, Atsumu couldn’t be bothered with being awkward.
“Christ, Tsumu, it’s 11pm. I can reheat some leftover stir-fry, is that okay?”
Atsumu nods, now fully cocooned in the fluffy blanket and Shoyou joins him shortly with a bowl of heated food and tea for the both of them.
“So… Do you want to talk about it?”
Shoyou approaches the subject the way you would approach a scared animal.
“Omi broke up with me. He was… Ugh, I dunno, Sho. Ya know how we always fought? We'd always bounce back from it, but this time he walked out on me. Said he was done.”
Shoyou frowns, sympathetic. He let’s Atsumu ramble on for as long as he needs to, listening to every word. They eat the reheated stir-fry and at some point Shoyou's face contorts into anger.
“He can’t fucking pin this on you. No disrespect to Omi-san, but that's toxic, Tsumu. You don’t deserve that. He can’t waltz around like he owns you. You’re not his possession. This is so fucked up.”
Atsumu’s chest swells. Seeing his friend get so worked up on his behalf makes him feel heard. He feels appreciated. Shoyou is such a good person, Atsumu thinks.
He’s always there when you need him and he knows just what to do to make a guy feel better.
“Omi’s just… He cares about me, ya know? He just wants to keep me to himself. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?”
Atsumu knows he’s defending Kiyoomi, but he can’t help it. He’s so used to defending him when people talk badly about him. Kiyoomi’s not a bad person, he’s just misunderstood. Yeah, he hurt Atsumu, but nobody’s perfect.
“Do you love him?”
Atsumu nods.
“Do you feel that way, then? Do you feel like he can’t go out with his friends? Do you feel like he will leave you for any other guy, because he’s just that cheap? Did you ever feel the need to selfishly keep him all to yourself, because he was yours?”
Atsumu can’t answer him. He can’t, because Shoyou is right. He didn’t feel like that at all. He loved Kiyoomi, he’s sure of it, but not once had he felt the need to rip him away from everyone else.
His eyes fill with tears.
“You don’t need to reply, I know the answer already. Tsumu, when you love someone, you don’t lock them up and hide them away. When you love someone, you let them have their freedom and you want them to be happy. When you truly love someone, you will do anything to see them happy." He takes a breath.
"Even if it’s at your own expense.”
Shoyou is looking at Atsumu with an expression he has never seen from him before. He looks so sincere and earnest, but most of all, hurt. He looks like he’s in pain.
“When you love someone, you’re willing to watch them fall in love with someone else. You’re willing to live in pain and sadness, but it’s worth it because you get to see them happy. It hurts, Tsumu. It hurts, but it’s okay. It’ll always be okay, as long as they’re happy.”
Atsumu can’t breathe. He feels like the entire apartment has been rid of oxygen. The way Shoyou was staring at him… it’s unmistakable.
“Shoyou…”
Shoyou breaks. He cries, unabashed; tears streaming down his cheeks. Atsumu practically leaps to the other side of the couch, pulling him into his chest.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.”
Atsumu lets him cry into his chest. He rubs his back and plays with his hair, whispering comforting things into the air. He should be the one being comforted right now, but he doesn’t mind.
It’s okay, because it’s Shoyou. He doesn’t even want to think about why it’s okay, but it is. He has no trouble putting aside his troubles for Shoyou.
“I’m sorry, Tsumu, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have dumped this on you, not like this.”
He tries to pull away, but Atsumu doesn’t let him. It takes Atsumu a moment, but he realizes that he’s okay.
He doesn’t feel the weight of what happened earlier sitting heavily on his chest anymore. He hadn’t since the second he sat on Shoyou's couch. Everything became okay once he was with Shoyou.
“It’s okay, Sho. I’m okay.”
Shoyou shakes his head.
“No, how can you be okay? First Kiyoomi and now I dump all my shit on you? You don’t deserve that.”
Atsumu sighs. He doesn’t know what else to say, so he says,
“It’s okay, because it’s you.”
And Shoyou stills.
“It’s not okay… Because you still love him.”
Atsumu doesn’t say anything for a while. He’s really at a loss for words.
“Why is it not okay if I still love him?"
“Because you deserve better. You deserve someone who loves you, properly. Someone who just wants to see you happy.”
Shoyou's fists clench Atsumu’s t-shirt like his life depends on it.
“Then, tell me. I want to hear you say it.”
“Say what?”
“That you’re that someone.”
~
It’s been a week. A week without seeing Atsumu. A week of Kiyoomi being alone with his thoughts. He’s decided that he needs to apologize. If he wants Atsumu back, he needs to get his shit together and be better, so that’s exactly what he’s going to do.
Kiyoomi walks into the familiar gymnasium, fully prepared to ask Atsumu aside and say everything he needs to say. What he was not expecting is to walk in and find Shoyou sitting on Atsumu’s lap.
Atsumu’s arms wrap around his waist, pulling him closer into his chest and Shoyou smiles, looking over his shoulder at Atsumu.
Kiyoomi’s heart sinks. He feels sick.
He feels sick, then he feels angry.
Anger burns in the pit of his stomach. He’s about to walk over and tear Shoyou off Atsumu’s lap, but something stops him.
Atsumu is smiling. His smile practically lights up the gym, radiating happiness and love. He looks like the sun.
No. He doesn’t look like the sun.
He’s looking at Shoyou like he's the sun.
With teary eyes, he smiles sadly to himself. There’s not a doubt in his mind when he thinks,
He never smiled like that when I was with him.