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After being together for most of their high school days, Sukuna and Yuuji decided to marry after graduation. In their first year as a married couple, they found out that Yuuji was pregnant. Given his already frail health, they were told to get ready for the worst.
Sukuna refused to believe that anything bad would happen to Yuuji or their child. However, his belief was all for naught when Yuuji died after giving birth to their daughter, Akari.
This left Sukuna grief stricken and devastated. So much so that he couldn’t even look at their daughter because of how much she looked like Yuuji.
Sukuna left the child-rearing to Yuuji’s brothers, Chousou, Eso, and Kechizu. He only ever came to see Akari during Yuuji’s birthday. Not on Akari’s birthday. Never on her birthday, because her birth is also the anniversary of Yuuji’s death. He couldn’t bear to look at the child who looked so much like the person he would never see again.
Uraume, Sukuna’s assistant, would drop by to bring gifts for the toddler, telling Akari they were from her Papa. But the adults know that Sukuna took no part in buying those gifts, too consumed in his grief whenever Akari’s birthday came around.
Sukuna always spent the day of Yuuji’s death anniversary and the days before that by himself. For Sukuna, it was never Akari’s birthday. It was the day he lost Yuuji, the day his world crumbled, and the day the light in his life was extinguished.
During Yuuji’s birthday five years after his death, he was set to visit his daughter, only to find his daughter alone in the house and a note from Chousou that said, “We promised Aka-chan that we would go to the place with flying lights but something urgent came up. Please take her on our behalf.”
“Where the fuck is that?” Sukuna muttered to himself in disbelief.
Nevertheless, Sukuna took his reluctant daughter to the countryside, having surmised that the flying lights meant the fireflies. (No, it did not mean fireflies. Yes, Sukuna is unimaginative.)
Sukuna went to a huge field where he was sure there would be fireflies at night and left his daughter to run around and play on her own. At least she knows how to entertain herself. Like Yuuji did. Sukuna did not dwell on it. Not yet. Not until he was alone.
But when the sun set and the moon and stars shone, no fireflies came.
Akari stood waiting and waiting and waiting. But no fireflies came.
Sukuna looked at his watch. It was getting late. They needed to get back now to be able to get on the last train.
“Akari, let’s go.”
Akari didn’t even look at her father, just shook her head as she kept her eyes peeled to the dark expanse of the field in front of her. Still waiting. Still hoping.
“Akari, we need to leave now or the train will leave without us.”
“No!”
Sukuna was getting irritated. “Akari,” there was a warning in his tone.
“No! Aka hafta see the fwying wights!” Akari insisted.
Sukuna let out a growl. He went to his daughter and took her hand but the child immediately pulled away from her Papa. “No! Aka stay!”
“No, you are not staying! We’re leaving! And we’re leaving now!”
Oh, if Yuuji saw him right now, he would be so disappointed.
But he was dead. He would never celebrate any birthday with Sukuna.
Never again.
Sukuna made a move to take Akari’s hand again, but she moved away from her Papa. “No! No! No! Aka gots to see the fwying wights!
“Akari!”
“No! Aka stay! Aka gots to see the fwying wights!”
“I said–”
“Mama wikes the fwying wights!”
Sukuna froze at the mention of his dead wife.
“Mama wikes the fwying wights so Aka’s gots to see the fwying wights!”
Akari was crying now, huge tears running down her face.
“Unca Chousou said Mama awways makes a wish to fwying wights and Aka gotta make a wish to fwying wights coz Mama gots to come back because Aka wants to see Mama and Papa’s sad because Papa wants to see Mama!”
Sukuna fell on his knees, his daughter getting blurry as his own eyes watered. ‘ No, Akari, they’re not flying lights. They’re falling stars. Because… Because…’
‘Because don’t they look like flying lights, Suku?’ Yuuji had giggled, bright and warm and so much alive in his memories.
And Sukuna’s heart clenched in pain because he missed Yuuji so much and he neglected the one person Yuuji would never allow him to neglect, yet she only ever thought of her Mama and her Papa’s happiness despite everything Sukuna did.
“Aka gots to wait coz Aka gots to see the fwying wights so Aka gots to wish so Aka and Papa see Mama again!”
“Akari,” Sukuna prompted, gentler this time, trying his best not to make his voice break even when his own tears were falling. “There are no flying lights here.” Sukuna’s heart crumpled even more at the devastated look his daughter gave him.
“But that’s okay,” he quickly added, taking her small hands in his big one. “That’s okay. Because tomorrow, tomorrow we can go see the flying lights again.”
Akari shook his head. “No, Papa. Unca Chousou said, it onwy today!”
“You wanna know a secret? Mama never stopped until he saw the flying lights. Today, tomorrow, every day! He never stopped! Because Mama never gave up. So we won’t, too! And then, when we see the flying lights, we’re gonna make a wish, just like Mama did.”
“Then Aka and Papa gonna wish Mama to come back?”
It hurts, just as much as it did the first time, when Sukuna called Yuuji but he never moved, held Yuuji’s hands even as they grew cold. But Sukuna fought the tears, put a smile on his face, and nodded. “Yes.”
“Promise, Papa?”
‘Take care of her, Suku.’
“I promise.”
‘She’s gonna need you now more than ever.’
“And I’ll tell you everything you wanna know about Mama.”
‘But you won’t ever be alone.’
“Everything, Papa?”
‘You have each other.’
“Everything, Akari. From what Mama ate, the food he cooked, what he wanted to do. He loved to talk to you about his day. And he always sang you a song when you were still in his tummy.” Sukuna pulled his crying daughter in his arms. “And he loves you very, very much.”
‘Yuuji, Yuuji, Yuuji,’ Sukuna cried, even if Yuuji would never hear him.
‘I will always be with you, Suku.’
“Yuuji!”
Yuuji jolted from his almost-slumber at the sudden shout of his name before limbs suddenly engulfed him.
“Suku? What are you—”
“You were gone!”
“I had to feed Aka-chan—”
“You were gone!”
It was only then that Yuuji felt the faint shaking of his husband or the wetness on his neck where Sukuna had hidden his face. An understanding smile crossed his face, one hand resting comfortably on his back and the other carding through Sukuna’s hair.
“I’m here.”
Sukuna watched from where he was on the bed as Yuuji came into their room with their newborn daughter.
As soon as Sukuna had reassured himself that Yuuji was there, alive and breathing, he had quickly retreated to their room. Now, Yuuji, who had an understanding smile on his face, gingerly got on the bed without jostling the fussy and pink bundle in his arms.
“I thought Akari needs to stay in her own room?”
“Perhaps tonight can be an exemption,” Yuuji said, moving enough so he would be resting on Sukuna and the latter didn’t hesitate to wrap his family in his arms.
Akari’s face looked irritated, maybe at being woken after Sukuna’s loud outburst at her nursery a while ago, or maybe from being moved when she was already comfortable in her own crib. But all Yuuji did was coo at the little girl, and she immediately settled.
Sukuna couldn’t help but stare. To reassure himself again. Yuuji didn’t die of childbirth, Sukuna didn’t neglect Akari, and Akari was still five-months-old, not five-years-old. It may have been a dream, but it felt so… real.
But he didn’t have to tell Yuuji. It was obvious he got the gist of Sukuna’s sudden outburst. This was his way of reassuring his husband that he was there, with him, beside him.
Akari’s large golden orbs opened and she must’ve seen something she didn’t like because her lower lip started quivering.
“Ah, she’s looking for the flying lights,” Yuuji commented, briefly glancing at their starless ceiling. They had decorated Akari’s nursery with glow in the dark stars, obviously taking her Mama’s love for falling stars.
“When she’s older, let’s take her to watch the flying lights,” Sukuna found himself suggesting.
Yuuji smiled sweetly at Sukuna and nodded.
There was a whimper and Yuuji chuckled as Akari’s face became pinched.
“Hmm, perhaps a song? Does Aka-chan want Papa to sing for her?”
Sukuna made a face and Yuuji’s melodious laugh filtered through his ears. Then Yuuji’s cleared his throat and started humming the familiar tune, patting Akari in time to the rhythm.
Dango dango dango dango
Dango dango daikazoku
Dango dango dango dango
Dango daikazoku
Sukuna found he couldn’t take his eyes off of Yuuji.
Yancha na yaki dango
Yasashii an dango
He was here.
Sukoshi yumemigachi na
Tsukimi dango
He was alive.
Osumashi goma dango
Yotsu ko kushi dango
Minna minna awasete
Hyakunin kazoku
Yuuji looked up and met Sukuna’s gaze.
Akachan dango wa itsumo
Shiawase no naka de
His eyes were bright.
Toshiyori dango wa me o hosometeru
His smile was warm.
Nakayoshi dango te o tsunagi ooki
Na marui wa ni naru yo
Sukuna’s heart swelled.
Machi o tsukuri dango boshi no ue
Minna de waraiau yo
Yuuji looked at him surprised and Sukuna belatedly realized that he was singing with Yuuji now.
Usagi mo sora de te o futte miteru
He smiled. Yuuji returned it with a brighter one.
Dekkai otsuki sama
Both parents looked down on their slumbering daughter. Yuuji felt warm and heavy beside him. Sukuna found his grip on his family getting tighter.
Ureshii koto kanashii koto mo
Zenbu marumete
He would never let this go.