Chapter Text
The baby’s birthday dawns at a very painful five AM. Both painful because it’s five AM, and painful because their alarm was actually set for half-six, but baby has, once again, woken Martin up with a bruising bout of kicking. It’s the kind of morning where the window is lilac and wet with condensation, the air outside the bed arctic and the bubble under the covers heavenly warm. Jon, bastard that he is, is still asleep and looking predictably adorable with a little frown and his mouth half open. The fact that Martin has to get out of bed right now is even more painful than the kicking. He’s pretty sure only the desperate need to pee that comes with being thirty-nine and a half weeks pregnant is the only thing that could get him up right now.
By the time he gets back and plunges himself back into the nest of bedding, Jon is blinking awake. (Martin probably could have been quieter in the bathroom but then again, misery loves company.) Normally he’d rub sleep from his eyes, yawn, and burrow in closer without a word, but this morning he sees Martin, goes very still, and smiles.
‘Good morning.’
‘Morning.’
Martin settles on the pillow, another wedged between his legs. They stare quietly at one another, each unwilling to break the spell of this silent, long awaited morning.
Eventually Jon asks - ‘How’re you feeling?’
Not having words yet, Martin grumbles and presses Jon’s palm against his belly in answer. Instantly, like they already recognise and want to play with their father, baby begins to butt against his hand. Jon chuckles. ‘Ow.’
‘Yeah, ow.’
Jon makes a sympathetic noise and kisses Martin’s cheek. ‘Wants out, I suppose.’
‘Well, they’re in luck then aren’t they?’
‘Hmmm. Are you feeling... okay about it?’
‘I guess?’ Martin tries. He’s not exactly sure how he feels. ‘I mean, yeah, it’s what we’ve planned. And I am excited, obviously, just-’ he’s interrupted by a punch that pokes right into his bladder. ‘Ow , Jesus. Well, I’m glad they’re ready at least.’
Jon rubs a soothing line up and down the dark stripe on his stomach. ‘If it helps,’ he says with a wry gentleness, ‘I’m absolutely terrified.’
Martin splutters indignantly ‘You’re terrified? I’m bricking it here.’
Jon chuckles as he always does at these dramatic outbursts. It’s nice, because they’ve both been working on processing their fears and traumas surrounding hospitals, surgery, pregnancy and the frightening intersection that is today for weeks now. At thirty weeks, Jon had admitted, even though he’d been nervous to, considering he’s hardly the one in the difficult position here, that he’d been speaking to his therapist about their planned caesarean. The whole thing had been sort of triggering, he’d realised, or more likely Dr Cawton had, since he hadn’t really gotten over his fear of surgery since his mother’s death. He’s had a lot of anxiety about the prospect of being in the theatre, watching his boyfriend and baby go under the knife.
‘I don’t mean to worry you,’ he’d said, ‘please, don’t let me scare you- It’ll be fine. It was an accident. A-and I’m sorting it out.’
Martin, full of his own battles against decades of hospital-soap-and-sickness scented memories, had hugged him for what had probably been nearly an hour.
A laugh now helps it all feel normal. He squeezes Jon’s hand. Jon gives him a proper kiss before turning serious.
‘You’ll be fine,’ he says to reassure them both.
‘Yeah,’ Martin affirms, ‘I’ll be fine. We’ll both be fine.’
Baby pipes up, a fist in indignation at being excluded. Jon rubs a soothing circle over the sore spot. ‘Yes, and you’ll be fine too, darling, won’t you.’
Martin repeats the motion. ‘Yeah, you’ll be fine. The world is a lot colder than you’re used to, but you’ll get over it. There’s cuddles out here. And delicious powdered milk.’
The weird tumbling sensation stills as baby seems to calm down under their father’s hands. Jon looks at the clock, and hums happily at whatever he sees there. He snuggles down properly forehead to Martin’s chest in prime position to kiss him and his bump.
‘Happy birthday to you,’ he murmurs to the child in between them.