Chapter Text
“I just received a call from the Queen,” Saul announced as he crossed the threshold of the Headmistress’ office without bothering to knock, as was his habit.
Farah froze on her seat, immediately expecting the worse. Her mind went from one horrible scenario to another; from someone having discovered what had happened three years ago at Aster Dell to Burned Ones being sighted again in Solaria despite their eradication.
“Nothing bad, don't worry,” he added, catching the alarm in her eyes. “It's about my taking over as Headmaster.”
After the war, when Farah had taken on the Headmistress position at Alfea, Saul had started assisting Amos Chapman, the current Specialists’ Headmaster. He had no wish for a soldier’s life at the Palace, and most of all, no wish to let Farah struggle alone with the weight of her new responsibilities on top of the crushing guilt that had settled after the events of Aster Dell. It was now time for M. Chapman to retire, Saul being his logical successor.
“Oh. What about it?”
She had not expected Luna to call for such a trivial matter, especially since she had made it very clear she did not care how Farah managed the school, as long as the level of the graduates remained as excellent as it had been under Rosalind.
“Apparently, the Board thinks there’s a conflict of interest,” Saul explained.
“What?” she frowned, “That's ridiculous. Headmaster Chapman wrote you a reference letter. You’re the best person to replace him, whether I have a say in this or not. He picked you himself to assist him!”
“And she told them that, but they're not convinced. So, she thought about something.”
She waited in silence for him to continue, already weary at the prospect of a plan designed by Queen Luna. Whatever it was, she just knew she would not like it. The sovereign always put her interests first, there was no reason it would be any different this time.
“She wants to throw a sort of promotional exhibition at the Palace,” he explained. “Make me spar with a couple students then have a pair of fairy and Specialist fight a simulated Burned One,” he continued, gauging her reaction by how much she would furrow her brows. “Show what sort of training the school provides and what students can do once they graduate. She's going to invite people from all over the OtherWorld, ambassadors, and big names like that. And the Board of course, kill two birds with one stone.”
“Right,” she sighed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Of course, Luna would take advantage of the situation to make it a big event. “And when are we supposed to do this little show? She better give us time to prepare, we haven't properly trained together for a while.”
“It's in two weeks,” he began, bracing himself for her reaction, “but...”
Farah locked eyes with him. “But” never announced anything good. She shifted on her seat and urged him, “But?”
“She's going to send a fairy here to train with me...”
For a moment, Farah thought she had misunderstood what Saul had just mumbled. The way he was picking the skin on his thumb and how he looked at her desk instead of directly at her made it clear she had heard him exactly right. “Excuse me?!”
“Conflict of interest, remember?” he offered sheepishly.
She snorted, “Right! Well, screw that.” She pushed her chair back, abruptly getting around her desk, and walked to face the windows overlooking part of the school grounds. The bright afternoon light made her narrow her eyes as she gazed at the grass stretching infinitely before her. They had been blessed with a nice summer so far, the sun sharing its warmth more often than not, yet the heat spreading in her chest had nothing to do with it. “She can't...I'm your fairy,” she stated, crossing her arms on her chest.
Saul almost took a step forward, aching to run his hand down her back to soothe her, but he deemed preferable to give her space. He could feel her boiling anger and no doubt what he had to say would unfortunately only add fuel to the flame.
“Farah... It's not a real fight.”
She turned to face him, shooting him the harshest glare he had ever witnessed. Saul could have branded her; it would not have burned as badly as his apparent indifference at her replacement. Her arms still crossed, he noticed how her nails slightly dug in the flesh of her arms as she retorted, her voice raising, “So anyone can replace me, it doesn't matter?”
“That's not what I said,” he answered, remaining calm. Farah had always been short-tempered, and everything related to Luna was definitely a touchy subject, but he had not anticipated to behold so much hurt in her eyes. He had expected her to be annoyed and maybe moan about the absurdity of it all, but he had certainly not been prepared for the ire radiating from her. If anything, he assumed she would have been relieved to not partake in this ludicrous exercise.
“I'm going to call her,” she declared, jutting her chin out.
Saul shook his head. “It won’t change anything, Fa.”
She softened at his using of the nickname, its single syllable rolling on his tongue and falling out his lips like the beginning of the sweetest melody. He only ever used it with a specific tone, always soft and calming, and she wondered if he realized how much it soothed her boiling blood and thus used it on purpose, or if he was completely oblivious.
“Maybe,” she shrugged, “but at least she'll know how I feel about it.”
**********
Needless to say, her call with the Queen had indeed been pointless; the only thing Farah got from it was a piercing glare from her projection and the order to attend the event to answer every and any question the guests might have about Alfea and its remodeled curriculum. Assuring its status as top school despite the change of management was clearly the priority, far more than convincing the Board of Saul’s legitimacy as new Headmaster, which only managed to annoy Farah to a further degree. She was waiting with Saul in the shadow of the fairy building for the solarian SUV sent to deliver the fairy Luna had deemed fit for the job, a bitter taste lingering in her mouth. He kept glancing at her, a joke at the tip of his tongue, but her jaw clenching more and more with each inhale dissuaded the words to cross his lips. Instead, he offered a gentle “Relax,” bumping her shoulder, but all she could do was grit her teeth.
A few minutes later, the vehicle parked in front of them, the gravels crunching under its tires. Farah stiffened the second the car door opened, revealing Saul's new temporary partner. The Specialist jumped forward to greet the short-haired fairy who introduced herself as Mina, a bright, wide smile lighting up her face. Farah let her eyes wander from her long legs to her oversized t-shirt and up to the short pixie cut highlighting her cheekbones. Her olive skin and long lashes bore no trace of make-up, not that she needed any.
“It's so weird to be back here!” she exclaimed, looking around her as the driver took her bag out of the trunk. “Hi, you're Farah Dowling, right? I'm Mina,” the brunette said, extending her hand.
“Nice to meet you,” Farah responded, shaking it. Her smile never reached her eyes, and her jaw seemed weirdly tight, which turned her effort of a warm smile into a rather stiff one.
“How about I let Farah show you your room and we meet here in about an hour? See how we'll make this thing work,” Saul offered.
“Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, I know you're used to dealing with mind fairies,” Mina chuckled.
A punch in the guts would have had the same effect on Farah, the air leaving her lungs in an instant, filling them with a burning pain instead. She looked at the other fairy as if she had insulted her in the vilest way, her lips slightly parted. What the hell did she just say?
“You're a mind fairy?” she managed to ask, short-breathed.
“I am, I work for internal security. Her Majesty didn't tell you?”
Saul glanced at Farah, the atmosphere around them suddenly heavy with electricity. The man cursed Luna in his mind; Farah was already worked up enough as it was, and knowing his fairy as he did, no doubt she would take this personally.
She could feel Saul's eyes on her and a worried pull through their bond, but her body seemed frozen in place, her fists clenched at her side. A big knot had formed in her throat, and she could only utter a weak, “No, she didn't,” through her dry mouth.
“Oh. I hope it's not a problem,” Mina inquired, shifting her weight on her left leg.
“Of course not, it's all good,” Saul reassured her. “Right, Farah?” he asked turning towards her, his eyebrows almost reaching his hairline.
“Right.” She forced a smile, but there was only so much she could do with the nauseous wave rising in her throat. “Could you show your guest the way?” she asked Saul. “I have Ben waiting for me in my office.”
Without sparing them another look, Farah stomped back inside the building, texting Ben to come up right away.
**********
“She sent a mind fairy. Her name's Mina.”
Ben was greeted with those words as soon as he opened Farah's office door. She was standing in front of her desk, her hands pushed deep inside the pockets of her flowy pants. Ben was no empath but one glance at his friend was enough to determine her level of irritation, which, judging by the look on her face, was rather high.
“She's doing it to get to me,” she continued. There was no need to question who “she” was; the Queen had been the object of Farah's complaints for the last couple days.
“Are you sure? Not to be the devil's advocate here, but maybe Luna just assumed it would... click better with Saul?”
A bitter laugh escaped her mouth. “After my call? Sure, it's totally below her to use this as a reminder of who's in charge,” she retorted.
Ben looked at her above his glasses, like he always did when he reflected on the best way to weigh in on a touchy subject.
“Is that the only thing bothering you?”
The Headmistress furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” he started, taking his glasses off to wipe them on his shirt, “Are you mad at Luna for sending a mind fairy, presumably in order to irk you... or are you jealous because Saul is partnering with a female mind fairy?”
The earth fairy had witnessed her friend's silent jealousy enough times to identify it at the slightest sign, and the shadow he had just seen pass in her eyes as she had mentioned the other mind fairy had shoved aside any doubts he might have had.
Farah clicked her tongue, glowering at him. “I'm not jealous, don't be ridiculous.”
Yet, it was difficult to interpret the weight that had settled in her chest as soon as she had heard the words “mind fairy”, the clench in her jaw, the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach and the burst of magic rising from her core to her fingertips, as something else. They all pointed towards the ugly green monster awakening. But wasn't it only natural, after everything they had been through, to feel a little territorial about her Specialist?
“I’m not ridiculous, I’m… perceptive.”
“I thought you were supposed to be on my side,” she scolded. If her tone did not give her away, her arms guarding her chest like a weak makeshift shield did: she was on the defensive, which only told Ben he was right to push and pry. It was the only way to get her to face her feelings and stop the denial wagon she was currently racing on.
“I am. But I'm also here to say what you need to hear, not what you want,” he offered with a shrug.
Farah let out a long breath. It was important to be surrounded by people who would question you and put you on the spot, as uncomfortable as it was. It was Ben’s specialty, and she could not be mad at him for it, not when it was precisely one of his qualities she valued most. “You're a good friend, Ben,” she smiled, her features softening.
He beamed at her, “I know.”
For the rest of the week, Farah tried her best to push down the gnawing discomfort eating her from inside every time she thought about Saul and Mina training together, carefully ignoring the training grounds. She could not avoid the pair at dinner though, and it took her every ounce of strength and self-control she possessed to resist the urge to sit between them or make jokes only Saul and herself would understand. Instead, she drew back and observed them exchanging stories of their time on the battlefield and occasional quips. Maybe Ben was right, Saul clicked better with mind fairies. He had checked on her more than once during their evening gatherings, her silence and affected smiles revealing too much about her state of mind. His grey eyes always pleaded to know if she was alright, and she would each time send a reassuring tug through the bond, holding his gaze. Luna’s scheme had awoken an ugly side of her personality and as much as she hated being that person, there was nothing to tame it and bury it deep. Even hiding it was difficult, and she prayed Saul would not notice it. The whole situation was already grueling enough, the last thing she wanted was to give explanations to a cross Specialist.
**********
From where she was, she could perceive how they moved together, not quite in sync with each other but probably coordinated enough for untrained eyes. They were using the same device Rosalind made them train with, the projection of the Burned One larger than life sending shivers down her spine. Apparently, Luna's plan was to use several projections to show how a pair who completed their training would fight and eliminate the threat, as well as showing how Saul would train a first and a second year Specialist. Both students had arrived earlier that morning, overly excited at the prospect of going to the Palace, as one would expect.
She watched as Saul slowly got around the creature, his sword sharply pointing towards it. Once he was behind it, he gave a quick nod to Mina. Before he could do anything, the fairy sent a bolt of lightning towards it, hitting it in the arm. Saul shouted something as it lunged forward, dissolving into thin air the moment it came in contact with her. He crouched and ran a hand across his face, the frustration she felt blooming through the bond clearly belonging to him. She did not need to hear him to know what went wrong: one nod means “I've got it” Mina should have waited for him to hit the Burned One so she would have had more time to build up her magic and aim to strike it with a stronger force. They obviously needed to work on their communication and Farah could not repress the satisfaction that came with their failure. She was not an easily matched partner, at least.
“Are you even listening to me?”
Farah snapped out of her thoughts, turning her attention to Ben. Her fingers were tangling around her necklace and the frown she wore since the other mind fairy's arrival was still very present on her face. She had joined him in the greenhouse where he was busying himself with the inventory, the bright sun making it stuffy and uncomfortable to properly breathe in. Officially, Farah had left her office with the excuse of taking a break in the reviewing process of the curriculum. Unofficially, the only reason why she left the room in which she was locked in most of the summer days was to see up close how Saul's training session with Mina was going, after almost a week of trials and errors, even though she resented the sight.
“Of course,” she nodded, offering him a dry smile.
He glared at her above his glasses, not convinced in the slightest.
“Sorry,” she grimaced, “I just got lost in my thoughts.”
“Do you want me to pretend I have no idea what you were thinking about, or should we talk about it?” Ben inquired, a knowing smile forming on his lips.
She sighed, sitting on the small bench next to him. “I don't know why I let it get to me like that.”
“Don't you?”
She shrugged, her eyes glued to the floor. The earthy smell of the place filled her nostrils as she gripped the edges of the wooden bench, each breath in reminding her of all the serious conversations that had been held within the comforting greenery of the place.
The earth fairy pinched the bridge of his nose. He remembered their first kegger and how Saul had sulked the rest of the evening after Farah had left with a third-year fairy. Or how she had started spending an awful lot of time in the library rather than hanging out with the rest of them when Saul was dating a water fairy from their year. He recalled with an acute precision the first time he had found them asleep in Farah’s tent during the war, clinging to each other like there was no tomorrow. How they could be so clever and not see what had been right under their nose this whole time was beyond him.
“Farah... I love you and Saul dearly but sometimes, I wish I could smack you on the head. You're both idiots!”
Farah quirked her eyebrow, not used to him being so straightforward in his statements.
Saul and her were close, she would not deny that. Most of this came from their years of training then fighting together; how could you not be close to someone whose life you are responsible for? Some of it resulted from countless sleepless nights when they would share their deepest thoughts and fears in hushed tones, sitting on the damp grass. And then there was the bond. That mysterious, powerful link that in rare occasions blossomed between a fairy and their Specialist, which allowed Farah and Saul to literally feel each other. It hardly gets closer than that. She had often wondered about the nature of the bond, about what it meant for them and how it affected their relationship.
Fidgeting with the ring on her thumb, she finally let herself voice some of these fears. “What if… What if the bond is the only reason we are so close?”
“Of course, it makes you closer. Pretty sure it’s not what triggers your possessiveness, though.”
That caustic comment earned him one of Farah’s signature glare, which would have amused him if they were not so usual these days. It saddened him how she only seemed to frown and glare lately.
“Look, I’m no expert in the matter, but your feelings don’t come from the bond. It might enhance them, but they don’t originate from it. That’s just you and Saul.”
She remained silent, her fingers still fiddling with her jewels as she tried to establish what to make of Ben’s take.
Faced with her lack of reaction, he continued, “I don't know what you think denying your feelings for each other will achieve other than jealousy and frustration, but it's... bullshit.”
“He doesn't...” she started, the end of the sentence dying on her lips. “It's not like that, Ben,” she breathed, and he wondered who she was trying to convince more: him or herself.
The earth fairy sighed loudly, getting back to his inventory. “Keep telling yourself that and you'll regret it.”
She pursed her lips, looking at her friend's back turned on her. What was it like, then? The truth was, she knew what it felt like to be bonded to Saul. She remembered the warmth that had spread through her chest and had found its way to the far reaches of her soul, slowly tangling around it with time to secure a unique connection with her Specialist. She knew what it felt like, his omnipresence in her mind, her heart, her whole body really; that short tug telling her it's alright. Promising her I've got you. She cherished the way it had settled in her, the unwavering certainty that she would never ever be alone, not really. And the mere possibility that somebody else could feel even a quarter of that with Saul made her physically sick, like somebody was churning her guts inside her.
**********
“So... How's your fairy doing?” Mina asked, grabbing a water bottle laying on the side of the training mat. She had not missed how the Specialist's eyes had immediately found the Headmistress' outline as soon as she had left the fairy building, following her movements in the hope of perhaps getting a nod and a smile.
“Farah? She's fine, why?”
She shrugged as her big almond-shaped eyes scanned Saul’s face, noticing the beads of sweat on his temples. “Are you and her...?” she questioned, her tone leaving no room for misunderstandings.
He looked at her like she had grown another head and chuckled, “Oh, no, no. We're friends. We've been through a lot, you know but... No.” His eyes glanced at the greenhouse where he had seen her heading minutes before. Truth be told, friends seemed too weak to describe their relationship. After everything they had seen and done, after keeping each other alive and sane, friends lacked depth and significance to truly encompass what they were to each other. At least, what she was to him. Turning his attention back to his sparring partner, he was met with an eyebrow arched impressively high.
“What?”
“I don't know, it's just... When she's around, she's the sole focus of your attention. You smile more. You straighten your posture. And you always shift your body towards her, which is quite revealing. But hey I get it, she's gorgeous,” she chuckled, causing Saul to grimace, his cheeks reddening. He had never imagined his change of demeanor to be so obvious, and he sincerely hoped Farah never noticed. He would hate for her to be uncomfortable around him.
“And then there's her,” the brunette continued. “You know I would never try to read her of course, but I always pick up a sort of lingering annoyance when she's around and the way she looks at us sometimes... And those pointed looks you share, it's like you're the only people in the room and I'm pretty sure you actually communicate like that, which is sweet but also a little weird,” she shrugged.
“Perks of being bonded, I guess.”
“It’s real, then? Riley always talked about it but I never thought…” she trailed off, a hint of sadness settling on her face. “My Specialist”, she clarified in response to Saul’s quizzical look. Something always turned off the spark in her eyes whenever she talked about her time fighting during the war and he could only imagine the reason behind it.
“What does it feel like?”
That was the question everyone around them had asked once they had realised there was something more to their connection as fairy and Specialist than simply a lot of training and trust. Saul had always been a man of few words, yet there were a million things he could say about it. He could tell her how he feels Farah all around him and inside him, her warmth slowly gliding and wrapping around every cell in his body, every second of every day. How he can tell when she is upset because of the weight that settles in his own chest, constricting it without increasing his heart rate. How she sends waves of calm when she feels his nervosity, and it is the most soothing thing he has ever experienced. How the first time she blocked the bond, he felt so lonely and cold all of a sudden, he thought she had died and searched the whole school for her like a madman. And how he had collapsed with relief when he saw she was alive and well.
However, the bond was something precious and so deeply personal, it felt wrong talking about it. Like an invasion of their privacy. So, he gave Mina the same answer he gave everyone: “It’s… it’s like I’m always aware of her, I know what she needs and what she’s going to do before she moves. Like a gut feeling.”
“Pretty handy on the field I guess, but it sounds like a lot. I can’t imagine what it must be like for her. All of this topped with her mind magic… It takes a lot of control to handle all of that. She’s like… a powerhouse.”
“She is,” Saul nodded, his eyes once again finding the greenhouse.
Mina followed his gaze to the glass building, the corner of her mouth stretching into a dubious smirk.
“And I’m supposed to believe there is nothing going on when you longingly stare in the distance like this?”
“It’s complicated,” he answered dryly, making it clear he had no intentions to further discuss the subject.
It was complicated enough to be bonded, as they had learned over time, without throwing his feelings into the mix. He would lie if he said he never wondered what would happen if he told Farah the deep nature of his feelings for her; he had contemplated the idea many times. Sometimes, she would look at him a certain way, or he would perceive something he could not quite place through the bond, something that lighted a flicker of hope in his heart but he always blew it off, never quite sure if it was coming from her or from his wishful thinking.
“It looks really, really simple to me. You think too much, Silva. Love is not a brain thing, it’s visceral,” she explained as she picked up his sword and handed it to him. “Like a gut feeling,” she added with a pleased smile.
He shook his head, as much to deny what Mina was implying as to drive Farah and the way she made him feel out of his mind. “She doesn’t… It’s not like that.”
That he had denied her feelings and not his did not go unnoticed.