Work Text:
“what? no." stephen refuses, with that stern look on his face, the one he usually used when peter asked something ridiculous of him. peter's heart had fluttered a bit at the fact that stephen looks outraged by the idea of this, he doesn’t want to do this, but he has to. peter knows he has to.
"but it would work right?"
"yes, it would work." but that doesn't matter. stephen could not bring himself to do that. as much chaos as peter has caused, he did not deserve to live alone, or to start his life over from scratch.
"but that would mean everyone that loves you, and cares about you, we-"
fuck. he just told the kid he loved him. peter’s catches it because of course he does. the giddiness that tugs on the corner of his mouth would’ve been far bigger had the situation not been what it was.
"we would have no memory of you. it would be as if you never existed."
whatever, he did love him.
peter forces out this small, reluctant smile. it doesn't quite spread across his face, and he looks at stephen with watery eyes. the two spare a moment to share a look only they could really understand. stephen's yelling at himself to think of something else, and peter's telling him it's okay.
"i hate this. this is the worst idea you've ever had." stephen tells him, and peter can see his jawline tighten when he clenches his teeth. stephen knows he shouldn't, he knows they're seconds away from unleashing chaos, but he comes back to the balcony to stand mere inches from the boy, and peter tells himself to soak in every second of stephen's presence, something was telling him it'd be his last chance to.
"we have to, there's no other way." peter tries to sound confident, and like he's not on the verge of collapsing into stephen's arms and sobbing his heart out. the ninety percent of peter that was selfless knew this had to happen. the selfish ten percent wanted to beg stephen to please help him think of something else.
but peter doesn't do that because he knows stephen would.
"but it sucks."
"yeah, it does."
they don't have enough time to ponder over it for much longer. stephen takes one last lingering look at the boy, and his heart wrenches at the thought of this being the last time he ever saw him. peter had been such a light in his life, unlike anyone else he had, and now he had to lose him over something so ridiculous.
peter wants to bawl. he wants stephen to somehow fix this another way. he wants stephen to hold him for hours so he can just cry. stephen's vision blurs, and peter feels even worse. he had really put this man through it. peter wishes they could both just go back to the sanctum and cry. he wishes they didn't have to say goodbye.
"thank you, sir. for everything-"
"what'd i tell you about calling me that?"
and stephen kisses him, closes the distance between them with one step, and his one hand comes up to grasp at peter's chin. peter doesn't quite realize what's happening at first, but the moment he does, his hands grab fistfuls of stephen's shirt. peter can feel wetness spread onto his cheeks, from tears that mix with his, and peter can't stop the broken sob from leaving his mouth. the heartbroken sound that comes from peter has stephen lifting his opposite hand to thread his fingers through peter's hair, trying to offer a lifetime worth of comfort within twenty seconds.
stephen had wanted to do this for quite sometime, but refrained considering he thought that was wrong of him to do when peter thought so highly of him, and he was an authoritative figure. unfortunately, it was now or never, and stephen wasn't losing peter without kissing him first.
peter wants to say he's scared, but he thinks stephen would try to single handily fight off every one of these universe invaders if he does.
the kiss is sloppy, wet from tears, and peter tries to shove his tongue into stephen's mouth. the sorcerer unfortunately pulls away, and peter cries at this, which makes stephen feel like the worst person to ever exist, but they really don't have time.
"i-i wanted to kiss you for like.. a really long time."
peter says, and he tilts his head up a bit, aching to brush their lips together again. stephen moves both his hands to either sides of peter's face, his palms cradling the boy's head.
"i-i don't wa-want to lose you." peter can't stop himself from sobbing. he's full on ugly crying into stephen's shirt now, and he tries to tell himself to stop, or stephen might not go through with it like he needed to. stephen turns his head to prevent peter from seeing his own tears fall from his eyes, and he quickly wipes them.
"i know. i love you so much, peter. don't you ever forget that. wherever i am, wherever you are, you have my whole heart, always."
peter thinks those were the sweetest words ever spoken to him by anyone. he clings onto every word stephen says, and he focuses so hard on stephen's voice. he tries to lock the sound of it in his brain to store it there forever.
"i-i love you, too.. a lot."
peter hyperventilates into stephen's chest, and he squeezes stephen so hard, he tries to inhale as much of stephen's scent as he possibly can. he wants to bottle up every little detail about stephen to keep it forever. he doesn't want to forget a single thing about the sorcerer.
peter has to let go first because he knows stephen won't.
"you're the sweetest boy i've ever met. promise me to not destroy yourself over this?" stephen says, his voice weaker than peter has ever heard it. peter smiles sadly at the gentle praise, and he goes to reach his arms up to wipe at his face, but stephen stops him by doing it for him. peter's tear filled eyes stare up at the man, yet as puffy as his eyes were, they still looked at stephen like he put the stars in the sky.
"please don't make my last words to you be a lie."
it's the truth. peter will hate himself for this, and they both know it.
"i love you. please don't forget that."
peter would say the same, but stephen will inevitably forget it.
"i love you too. i'm so sorry for everything."
"so am i."
with one last lingering, heart breaking look, peter leaves to say his goodbyes to mj and ned. stephen watches peter until he disappears from his eyesight, and he hopes to god the smart boy finds a way to come back to him.
peter didn't think it was actually humanly possible for the body to run out of tears, but his had.
either that, or he was too dehydrated to produce anymore tears. whichever the case was, peter was both grateful, and outraged about it. it had been fourteen days since his life went to shit. fourteen days since may died, eleven days since he's last seen happy, seven days since he's last seen mj and ned, and fourteen days since stephen kissed him for the first and last time.
the memory was on a constant loop in peter's head. he refuses to forget how it felt. he refuses to forget how he felt absolutely crushed yet so whole at the same time. peter refuses to forget the way stephen looked at him. peter swore he felt tears against his face that weren't his own, and he felt awful for putting the sorcerer through as much hell as he had.
peter was positive his heart shattered to pieces fourteen days ago, and it's the way it would stay for the remainder of his life.
peter had tried to follow through with his promise to mj and ned, but realistically, there was no possible way to do it. the two of them looked so at ease, and peter couldn't bring himself to disrupt their lives, not again. upon entering the coffee shop, peter instantly realized he never saw either of them so relaxed.
they had gotten into their dream school, and they had each other. why would peter make such a selfish decision that was to try and ruin that? he couldn't, he wouldn't. peter walked out with a coffee he never drank, and decided fairly quickly they were better off without him.
if peter was the only one that suffered for this, than that was okay. bringing down the people he cared most about wasn't acceptable, peter wouldn't do it to spare himself some pain.
peter's heart practically aches for stephen. the comfort he brought to peter was something he could use right now. peter had been so surprised when stephen kissed him, he sometimes questioned himself if he imagined it. it was sloppy, they both were crying, and it didn't last as long as either of them wanted to, but peter wouldn't have changed anything about it.
okay, that's a lie. he'd change why they kissed, but not the kiss itself.
peter went back to that same spot only a few hours later to sob. it's empty now, and returned back to its normal state, as if this wasn't where stephen had kissed him for the first time. as if this wasn't where peter's life got ruined. peter would've done anything for one of stephen's hugs.
peter wonders if he sat and waited where stephen had left him, maybe he’d come back.