Archive of Our Own

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Thump.

Magnus Bane was a natural-born artist.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Thump. Thump.

Before learning how to walk properly, he was already swirling and tapping and dancing in the most disastrous way that only a toddler could, full-on giggles and sweet smiles.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Backward somersault. Tap. Tap. Tap. Thump.

As he grew up, Magnus learned how to act, to dance in different styles – acing classical ballet, acrobatics, and pretty much everything that involved fluid movement and grace.

Perhaps some magic tricks too. Sue him, Magnus loved to go to circuses just to see the magicians.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Aerial cartwheel. Thump.

This is why it wasn’t a surprise when he decided to go to a high school specialized in training future athletes of different fields for any competition in the world. There were two very prominent in the north, and while Magnus wished a lot to attend Edom High School in Seattle with all his best friends, he ended up alone in Idris Pride High School in New York.

Edom was a public high school that focused heavily on any kind of gymnastics, and their curriculum in rhythmic gymnastics was one to cry for. A hundred percent perfect. Their program included a male version, even if it wasn’t that common in competitions like the female one. But doing that was Magnus’ dream in all shapes and forms and colors, and he really, really wanted it.

Meanwhile, Idris was an elite high school that focused on martial arts, fencing, golf, and team sports. Their artistic gymnastics program was pretty good – one of the best in the country, really –, but it was just that. Magnus had to resign himself to it and focus on floor exercises more than the pommel horse or rings.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Thump. Thump.

This is the thing, though. It’s not like Magnus wasn’t accepted at Edom High. He was . Proudly so in the general ranking. However, his acceptance letter came one day after Idris’ acceptance letter. And if Magnus Bane had an unbreakable rule, it was that he would always take the first option in anything offered to him.

Always.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Thump– BAM

“Fuck…” Magnus groaned loud, deciding to keep himself all splayed on the floor after a wrong footing that sent him to a solid crash. He needed to catch his breath anyway. He had been training nonstop for four hours already after his last class of the day.

He turned his head slightly to the side and his eyes automatically stopped at his soul medallion on the nearest bench where his backpack and a bottle of water also were.

Magnus smiled softly. His dear locket. The only thing keeping his sanity and strength in Idris.

Everyone has a soulmate. At midnight of one’s 10 th birthday, a golden locket will appear around their neck. The locket is called soul medallion, and inside it there is a picture of that person’s soulmate, but it can only be opened when a certain condition is met.

Engraved on the locket there is a rule. If obeyed, the locket will open. Each person receives a different rule, and the tricky part is that it’s not clear who has to act on it – the owner of the locket or their soulmate – or even how.

So, if the rule states ‘First touch’, it’s impossible to know who has to touch who first or where. ‘First word’ from who? It’s so messy, many people don’t even try and forgo their own soulmate.

It’s said that fate must be understood for true love to be earned.

At last, when the soulmate dies, the locket becomes gray and the picture inside it turns into ashes.

His best friends called him insane, but Magnus was determined to find his soulmate.

On his soul medallion, it was written ‘First choice’. Being annoyingly vague as expected, Magnus had no idea what kind of choice he had to make first. This is why every time he was offered options for something, he would always pick the first thing provided. Hence why he ended up enrolling on Idris and not Edom. He hoped and prayed to find his soulmate there, but honestly?

It was a disaster.

Most students, even some of the staff, were huge bigoted assholes. Being one of the few there with a full scholarship, he was constantly looked down upon. He had no friends and some students only approached him with second thoughts.

For now, his first year there was nothing short of a nightmare.

There were days when disappointment and loneliness were too heavy for his heart to carry.

He missed grumpy Ragnor, kind Catarina, forever scowling Raphael, smart Tessa, and sharp-tongued Maia.

Magnus let out a heavy sigh. It was better to go back to training. Mr. Starkweather had been breathing on his neck for him to improve – nevermind he was already the best of his class, but apparently it wasn’t enough for their unhealthy high standards. Sometimes Magnus suspected there was also some underlined bigotry – if due to his skin color, Asian features, sexuality, or poor background, he didn’t know. The headmistress, Maryse Lightwood, always scrunched her nose whenever she saw him.

“You can do it, Magnus.” He slowly got up but swayed a bit. His muscles ached so badly…

It was then that he noticed eyes on him, and when he turned his head to one of the windows that showed the long corridor, he saw a mop of black hair that ducked quickly to not be seen.

Magnus huffed. That boy was stealthy, but he wasn’t very good at keeping his presence unknown. He was there almost every evening, apparently watching Magnus practice. At first, Magnus thought he was some kind of stalker, but the very few times Magnus was able to take a glimpse of his face, there wasn’t any hint of malice. Actually, that boy would blush like his cheeks had been kissed by the sun itself while a look of pure horror and embarrassment would go down on him.

It was quite adorable if Magnus was being honest.

Besides the shyness, the holed and faded sweaters, the black hair, and bright blue eyes, Magnus knew nothing about the boy. Magnus was quite certain he wasn’t a student in Idris, or else he would’ve seen him before. That boy only appeared at night and practically moved like a shadow.

Magnus tried to talk to him sometimes, but he always slipped away, like now.

“Who are you?” Magnus murmured to the empty corridor.

The boy had vanished again.

~*~

It was by pure coincidence that Magnus found the boy two days later – this time during the day (which made him very relieved that he wasn’t imagining that boy these past weeks). He was partially hidden by a tree at the far side of the administrative building, and he wasn’t alone. Isabelle Lightwood, star of the fencing team, and Jace Lightwood, the biggest promise in Modern pentathlon of the last decade, were discussing something with him. Well, only they talked; the boy just listened with the biggest scowl Magnus has ever seen (and sue him for feeling the urge to coo at that adorable face).

It was curious. The three of them seemed somewhat intimate with each other, which only intrigued Magnus more. How was that stranger connected to the children of the headmistress?

Magnus itched to go there and ask. However, before he even had a chance to step ahead, the boy turned his gaze to him and froze . His face turned at least two shades darker of red, and then he fled. Isabelle glanced at Magnus with an apologetic look while Jace looked upset, and soon they were following the beautiful stranger.

Damn.

What was happening?

~*~

Some things happened by coincidence.

Others are orchestrated by assholes.

Magnus knew something was bound to happen when he didn’t back off earlier from Aldertree’s disgusting remarks, choosing to face him eye to eye. And when Raj fell after trying to shove Magnus off, there was no doubt he had become a target.

Hindsight was a bitch.

And a nail simply didn’t appear from nowhere on a horizontal bar.

They knew Magnus was going to practice on it, and while he was lucky enough for it not embedding in his hand or maybe even ripping one of his fingers off, the long gash between his thumb and forefinger wasn’t pretty.

When Magnus fell on the mat after feeling the cut, his body was in too much shock for him to react properly. He could only tremble and watch as more and more blood flowed from it. He had to close his eyes tight, willing the tears to not drop, but the pain was becoming unbearable.

He was two seconds from raw panic when suddenly a pair of warm hands stopped all his movements – one gently closed around his wrist while the other, with a green towel, put pressure on the cut.

Magnus’ eyes snapped up to the person helping him… and it was the mysterious boy. His face was set in a deep frown, his whole expression exuding a mix of worry and determination. For a moment, while he dabbed the towel to check the bleeding, his tongue poked out of his mouth, a clear sign that he was concentrating hard on this small task.

An unbidden tear rolled down Magnus’ face due to the pain, but he cleaned it quickly.

“Thank you,” he croaked, a lump too big in his throat for a better sentence. The boy just nodded in acknowledgment, not saying anything. Minutes later, he carefully tugged Magnus to sit at a bench while he went to retrieve a first aid kit.

When Magnus finally found the words again, the boy was already halfway on bandaging his hand after cleaning the worst of it. “I’m Magnus, and you?”

The boy opened his mouth, but soon closed it and just resumed his work.

“It’s polite to introduce yourself, you know.”

At first, Magnus thought the boy was going to glare at him, but he seemed to change his mind and only shrug halfheartedly.

“Okay,” Magnus sighed. “I owe you one, so if you don’t want to talk, it’s fine with me. It’s not like many people talk to me here anyway.”

That made the boy look at him. Really looked.

Magnus never saw a blue so bright and so deep in one’s eyes. It was like seeing the ocean in its calm fury.

After more minutes of absolute silence, the curative was done. Magnus could still feel the throbbing pain, but at least it wasn’t bleeding anymore. Before Magnus could thank him again, the boy took a notebook from his backpack and opened it at a blank page.

Then, he wrote.

| You still need to go to the infirmary to not get an infection. You may need stitches. |

Magnus blinked a bit dumbfounded. He looked at those words, then to the boy, to the words again, and finally back to the boy.

“What?”

The boy huffed and rolled his eyes, but there was a glint of amusement in his eyes that betrayed the seeming annoyance. He pointed to his own throat, then to his mouth, and made an ‘X’ in front of it with his index fingers.

Oh.

Oh.

“You can’t speak.”

It wasn’t a question, but the boy nodded anyway. He wrote again.

| I’m Alec. |

“Alec…” Magnus repeated as if testing the word in his mouth. “Short for Alexander?”

For some reason, Alec blushed a little, nodding again.

Magnus grinned, delighted with that reaction.

“Well, Alexander, I’m very grateful for you right now. However, pardon my straightforwardness. You have been running away from me all this time whenever I look at you. What has changed?”

Alec seemed uncomfortable with that question, but he didn’t try to evade it nor fled from the room like Magnus expected. He simply pointed to Magnus’ injury.

“Oh, so I had to get hurt for my number one fan to finally present himself?”

Funnily enough, Alec flushed even more. When he looked up, Magnus recognized the guilty expression, so Magnus just smiled warmly.

“No apologies are necessary. I was just teasing you. I’m actually very happy that you are still here and not avoiding me.”

Alec gave him a small smile, then wrote.

| You’re incredible. I enjoy watching you practice. It’s like witnessing pure magic. |

Now it was Magnus’ turn to blush a little.

And that’s the thing.

Magnus Bane didn’t blush.

“Why, thank you, darling.” He bowed with as much flair as he could perform, bringing out a genuine smile from Alec, crinkled eyes and everything.

God, Alec was gorgeous and Magnus definitely wasn’t developing some crush.

Oh-oh. No. Not even a bit.

You have a soulmate, Magnus Bane. Focus.

“You don’t study here, do you? I’ve never seen you in any class.”

Alec bit his lower lip, hesitant to reply.

“I promise I won’t tell anyone. You can trust me.”

Alec tilted his head a bit, staring at Magnus with such intensity, he felt weak for a moment. Whatever Alec was looking for in his face, he might’ve found it because he was soon replying.

| I’m not allowed to study with everyone else. My instructors go to my study room and I have private lessons. If I want to practice, I have to wait until everyone has left. |

Magnus… was understandably confused. Alec wasn’t allowed? Why? But instead of voicing that question, another one caught his attention.

“What do you practice?”

Instead of writing, he moved his hands as if nocking an invisible arrow and shooting.

“Archery? I think it suits you.”

| I love it! It was my dream to become a professional archer and compete. But mom has forbidden me. She wants me to study business to help her manage this school. |

“This school? Do you mean… Are you…?” Magnus’ eyes widened slightly, his mouth falling open.

| I’m Maryse’s son. Izzy is my twin sister and Jace is my adopted brother. |

Then he touched his lips with his index finger to ask for silence. A secret.

“I don’t understand. Why would they hide you?”

He wrote on a new page.

| Because I’m broken. |

| I can’t speak. |

And finally…

| I’m an embarrassment for the Lightwood name. |

Magnus’ heart squeezed painfully.

“Oh Alexander…”

In an action that surprised even Magnus himself, he cradled Alec’s face with tenderness, the pads of his fingers a warm point of contact against an already flushed skin.

“I barely know you, and I already know that is the furthest from the truth. Being unable to speak is not a weakness or a statement that you are broken. You could never be an embarrassment, and honestly? If someone can’t see you for you, they are truly blind. And that, darling, is a big weakness.”

Alec felt the familiar sting of tears in the back of his eyes, but he held on. Uncertainly, he touched Magnus’ wrists and slowly held them, not trying to remove his hands from his face.

For the first time, he didn’t feel so cold.

~*~

They talked – or, well, Magnus talked and Alec wrote – a lot.

Magnus told Alec a bit of himself. How he got adopted when he was still a toddler, and was really lucky because Luke and Jocelyn were very nice, and years later he even got a little sister, Clary; how he had to apply for Idris High Dormitory because his family lived in Ohio; how he and his friends would get in all kinds of troubles – mainly his fault, he admitted – but he would do everything all over again with those dorks; how he loved to dance, to tell stories, to wear makeup and use whatever excuse he could to throw some glitter here and there; how he dreamed to perform in big avenues and bring happiness to everyone.

In response, Alec told Magnus about himself, too. How archery made him feel happy and whole; how his siblings were very supportive, and they were actually angry at their mom on his behalf, but they were too young to go against her; how his parents were divorced, but Robert supported every decision Maryse made; how he lost his voice when he was six due to a severe inflammation on his throat, and how the surgery only fucked it up more; how his comfort food was spicy taco and how the sound of rain helped him to sleep during difficult nights; how he dreamed to compete in the Olympic games one day alongside his siblings, but knew it was impossible for him; how, a long time ago, he gave up on the idea of having what he wanted.

“I can’t see why you being unable to speak would prevent you from becoming a professional archer. You need your hands, not your throat.”

Alec snickered silently, a sad smile on his lips.

| Mom controls everything. I’m barely 15, Magnus. If I don’t obey her, she won’t hesitate to kick me out. Besides my siblings, I know no one. I’m alone. |

It was too much. Without thinking again, Magnus took his hand and squeezed it in comfort.

“Not anymore, darling. I’m fifteen too, and it’s still my first year here, so I have a long way to go. We’ll figure something out. Until then,” Magnus winked. “You’re stuck with me.”

Alec’s lips curled up until a smile blossomed on his face.

It was large, sweet, and warm.

It was pure light.

Magnus’ heart fluttered.

He had to clear his throat to focus and change the topic.

“Not that I’m complaining about this method of communication, but what If you don’t have a paper and pencil with you? Do you know ASL?”

Alec shook his head and his shoulders slumped.

| I wanted to learn, but mom said it was a waste of time and useless if only I knew it. If I want to say something, I can just write. |

“Oh, for God’s fucking sake…” Magnus groaned. He already despised Maryse by the way she treated the ones she deemed to be less than dirt under her expensive shoes, but now… Now that woman made him nauseous.

Alec continued to write.

| I tried to learn alone once, but it was very hard. Mr. Morgenstern says I’m too dumb and pathetic. |

Magnus’ mouth fell, and soon his golden-greenish eyes were full of rage.

“Mr. Morgenstern is stupid and a very narrow-minded man. His History lessons are terrible and I suspect he lies about some facts of the past. When he taught us about the Second World War, he narrated in a way as if the bad guys were right. I swear, I felt so sick that I considered poking my eyes out and putting permanent plugs into my ears.”

Alec nodded solemnly.

| His eyes have this maniac glint that scares me sometimes. |

“Yeah, I agree,” Magnus sighs, but soon sobered up. “I’ll look for a way. There might be something in the library, and I can also look up for tutorials on YouTube. We can learn together and then you can show your siblings.”

Alec frowned and bit his lower lip, worrying it until the skin became slightly reddish.

Magnus couldn’t help staring at those lips a bit longer than it was considered polite, and mentally slapped himself for getting distracted again.

He could already hear his friends’ snarky remarks if they were there.

Those little shits.

Alec had to tap his forearm to catch his attention and show him the new question written in his notebook.

| Are you sure? I don’t want to bother you. I’m fine like this. |

“This is not up for discussions, Alexander. And maybe I just want another excuse to be with you apart from your hobby of secretly watching me.” Magnus winked and Alec groaned, covering his face in pure horror and embarrassment.

Magnus giggled in delight, resisting the urge to coo at him. “Oh my, you’re too cute.”

Alec crossed his arm over his chest and pouted in clear disapproval as if saying ‘ I’m not!’ but that ship had already sailed for Magnus.

Perhaps, his days on Idris High wouldn’t be so bad after all.

~*~

It became a thing for them. Every day, they would exchange messages between lessons, training, and work out. Every night, when everyone was already gone, they would meet. First, Magnus practiced his routine while Alec watched. Then, they would go to the archery range and Alec would go through his own routine while Magnus watched.

(If sometimes Magnus asked Alec to teach him how to shoot just to have the boy near him to adjust his stance… Well, nobody needed to know.)

Later, they would study ASL together while eating something. When they could barely keep their eyes open, they would bid goodnight to each other and go their separate ways – Alec to the residential quarters of his family and Magnus to the dormitory building.

Perks of living in the school, Magnus mused.

Gradually, things were shifting for them – for better. There was an openness and trust that neither of them were willing to look at too close, but it wasn’t unwelcomed.

It was a heady feeling.

One night, Magnus was practicing some ballet moves, such as pliés and arabesques, and Alec was mesmerized by it. After forty minutes, however, Magnus stopped and considered something. Then, he reached for his cellphone and turned on the Bluetooth, letting a song similar to his floor routine play. It was still upbeat, but the kind you didn’t need choreography, just shaking your body randomly.

“Dance with me?” He said, offering a hand to Alec – whose mouth positively dropped in surprise.

Alec shook his head hard, signaling a desperate “ can’t dance” .

Nevertheless, Magnus Bane wasn’t one to back down from a challenge.

Grabbing Alec’s hand and pulling him towards the center of the dance room, Magnus was overflowing in excitement.

“It’s only the two of us here, and I’d never judge you, Alexander. Here, I can teach you some small steps and the rest you can figure out by yourself. Just…” He nonchalantly waved his hand around. “Be yourself. Let it go. Feel the music and relax.”

Alec blushed hard, but since it was really just the both of them… He took a deep breath and did what Magnus told him.

They danced together – sometimes twirling the other around, sometimes touching the other but not in a malicious way – and laughed and played and giggled and smiled and had so, so much fun.

For the first time, Magnus and Alec didn’t feel the usual heaviness of their hearts weighing them down on Idris.

For the first time, they floated.

Together.

~*~

“Where do you think you’re going, abomination?” Jonathan tutted, shoving Alec against the nearest wall.

For as much as a somewhat secret that Alec was, there were some people who knew about him. Most students and staff thought he was the son of some cleaner or gardener – his sweaters full of holes and washed colors didn’t help in that instance – that wandered around the school, too poor to attend the classes.

But kids like Jonathan Morgenstern, being the son of one of the most important instructors, knew the truth. His so-called friends, who looked much more like minions than anything, such as Victor and Raj, didn’t know, but never hesitated to give hell to whoever they didn’t like or considered weak. And all of them delighted in the fact that they could bully Alec with no consequences.

“What? Cat got your tongue?” Jonathan snickered, forcefully poking at Alec’s chest. “Of course, my apologies, I forgot you’re defective and can’t speak.”

Alec narrowed his eyes and swatted Jonathan’s hand away from him.

Terrible mistake.

Victor punched him in the middle of his stomach, strong enough to steal his breath for long minutes.

“You never learn, do you?” Jonathan tsked, cracking his knuckles. “Well, unfortunately for you, our football practice today was canceled. We are pumped up with a lot of energy and really need to warm up a bit.” He grabbed Alec by the hair and pulled hard. “What about being our ball, huh?”

“Hey!”

All the boys turned in the direction of the sudden voice. Jonathan, who was ready to deliver his own punch, loosened his grip on Alec and groaned in annoyance.

“What do you want, Bane?”

Magnus, who was grinning without an ounce of fear, just shrugged.

“Well, since you are all burning with excessive energy, how about…” he locked eyes with Alec and winked at him, which was the only signal the other boy got.

Magnus took a small fire extinguisher that he was hiding behind him and aimed the nozzle towards the group. “Chilling out?”

He squeezed the handle at the same time Alec threw himself to the side, away from the mess of water.

Hell broke loose.

Some of Jonathan’s friends tried to hit Magnus, but the gymnast evaded with the grace of a dancer and the wits of a true fighter.

“BANE!” Jonathan roared, backing away like a demon hit by holy water, but Magnus simply didn’t care. Dropping the fire extinguisher, he grabbed Alec and helped him to get up, their hands immediately finding each other, and Magnus dragged him away from the turmoil.

“You haven’t believed what Jonathan said, right?”

They were at the other side of the school, still holding hands and walking to burn the sudden adrenaline.

Without dropping Magnus’ hand and moving it with his, Alec signaled the best he could.

“There was a time that I believed. But you convinced me that I’m not as bad as I thought.”

“No, you’re perfect, Alexander.”

Alec’s hand stilled midway of another word, and he looked at Magnus with big, vulnerable eyes.

Magnus smiled softly. Alec was always telling him how he was beautiful, but never considered his own beauty. Magnus could drown himself in those sparkling blue eyes forever and never regret once.

It was a dangerous feeling, but he was already too gone to ignore it.

“C’mon, let’s go out.” Magnus pulled him gently towards the school’s gates.

“Don’t you have a lecture?”

“Darling, if I wanted to sleep, I’d have stayed in my bed, not at Mrs. Herondale’s class. I can borrow the notes from Helen later.”

Alec nodded, then signaled.

“Where are we going?”

“There is this little café near here with the best green apple and blue raspberry slushie you’ll ever taste. I have to spoil you.”

Alec’s lips curled in a sweet smile.

Neither of them commented on the fact that they were still holding hands the whole way to the shop.

~*~

“Bad day?”

Alec automatically looked up as soon as he heard Magnus’ voice. He spent the last hour cleaning all the arrows used on the training session earlier that day - official training for other students, never his - and his thoughts might’ve drifted for a moment, because he didn’t notice the time passing nor Magnus approaching him. 

Alec just shrugged tiredly and put the last arrow inside one of the many school’s quivers.

“Maryse is cruel. She knows how you love archery, but not only forbiddens you to have formal training, she also forces you to clean after the other students. Their equipment only keeps pristine because you care.”

Alec smiled sadly at that. It wasn’t like he could do anything to change that.

“Why is she punishing you this time?”

“Who knows? Maybe for existing.”

“Alexander…”

Sometimes, Magnus wished he had real magic. Maybe then he could send Maryse Lightwood to the depths of some jungle, to the Arctic, or some limbo. How could she hurt her own son so easily like that? Alec was one of the kindest souls he knew, and yet…

“Do you have plans for tonight?” He blurted out, and Alec turned to him with surprise in his eyes.

“I was just going to watch you dance.”

“Forget my dance. Today is about archery and only archery!”

Alec frowned.

“I can’t train today. Mom is having some important guests from the Clave. They’re going to make a round in the school soon.”

Magnus nodded. He knew how the Clave was a big deal. One of the most influential sports committees in the world. Being in their good graces was a guaranteed way to get a lot of open doors.

Well, fuck the Clave and Maryse Lightwood.

Magnus absolutely didn’t care.

“That’s not a problem. Let’s watch some movies in my room. I have Brave, that old Disney version of Robin Hood, and even the Hunger Games. I bet you’re even better than Katniss!”

Alec’s lips twitched up, and Magnus could see he was winning him over.

“Or, we could watch something very trash while eating an unhealthy amount of popcorn and chocolate. I also have the Blade Trinity movie. The quality is terrible, but it’s a good guilty pleasure. And the girl, Whistler, is a terrific archer. I think she uses a compound bow, but you know these things better than me.” 

Alec’s smile really grew this time, and even his eyes crinkled.

“Why do you have so many movies about archers? Are you going to give up gymnastics?”

“Absolutely not. I love what I do, and I can’t shoot anything straight, Alexander.”

“Obviously.” Alec signed and silently giggled.

“Oh, you little shit.” But Magnus was also grinning himself, already grabbing Alec’s hand and dragging him along. “C’mon, archer boy. We’re going to have the best sleepover ever, and by the end of this night, you’re going to proclaim me the most amazing person in this world.”

Alec’s eyes softened, and he unconsciously tightened the hold of Magnus’ hand.

He didn’t need a sleepover, a marathon of movies, or a lot of food to know that.

It was one of those unspoken, irrevocable truths of the Universe.

Magnus Bane was the best.

~*~

As the years went by, Magnus and Alec tried to spend a lot of time together. They kept their little routine of watching the other train, and during the stillness of the night and empty halls, they would walk side by side, hand in hand, sharing private smiles and glances.

Sometimes they kissed. Only innocent ones, though. On the cheek, the forehead, sometimes even on the tip of the nose. The lips... Not yet. Not when both still yearned for their soulmates.

Although... Alec was more resigned about never finding his one - not only due to a confusing condition on his locket ('First step'. And what the hell did that mean? Stairs? A dance? Where, for what?), but also because he feared the disappointment of his soulmate at seeing how broken he was.

"You're not broken, Alexander. And if your soulmate thinks that, they're an asshole and don't deserve you."

“I wish you were my soulmate.”

And somewhere in Magnus' heart, the words echoed fiercely.

For the first time, his soulmate wasn't at the forefront of his mind.

Worse, Magnus felt he was already halfway in love with Alec.

And that shouldn't scare him that much.

Me too.

~*~

Having Alec’s constant presence and support, Magnus grew enormously. He became the best gymnast in the entire school, his grades were high, and he already had a small collection of awards, medals, and trophies from different tournaments – even a couple from international ones.

Therefore, when the time to apply for a university arrived during Magnus' senior year, he didn’t need to think much. He was tired of following fate’s whims. This time, he was going to do what he wanted to fulfill his dream.

“You know how Idris High is an affiliate of Alicante University, the one your mother insists that you attend, right?” Magnus started one evening when they were hanging out in Alec's bedroom, snuggling together on the bed.

Alec turned to him, supporting his head with a hand to look at Magnus and give him his entire attention. He nodded and tilted his head slightly for his best friend to continue.

“Very well! So, likewise, Edom High in Seattle is an affiliate of Pandemonium University. And if Edom High’s curriculum was already wonderful, Pandemonium’s is a dream turned into reality for sports, Alexander. There I can focus on Rhythmic Gymnastics like I’ve always wanted, and the Archery program is perfect for you! You will love it there, I’m certain. All my friends are going there, and I can finally introduce you to them.”

Alec’s face fell. He sat up slowly, looking as if he just got stabbed.

“Alexander?” Magnus sat too, worried.

“Won’t you attend AU? I thought–”

His hands trembled, and he had to pause to remember how to signal.

“You’re the best here. Everyone expects–”

Another pause. Deep breaths.

“I thought we were going to attend it together.”

Alec finally dropped his hands, also casting down his eyes.

“Alexander, darling. I can’t stay here. I hate it here. I know things got easier with time, we even made friends. Aline, Helen, Julian, Emma… Your siblings. They are all nice, but the only thing really keeping me here is you. You ground me. You make me happy but–”

“But it’s not enough.”

I’m not enough, Alec wanted to add, but it weighed in the air, nonetheless.

Magnus immediately cradled his face, gently making Alec look at him.

“You’re in my mind and my heart every minute of the day, maybe even at night when I’m sleeping. I adore you, Alexander. This is why I hoped you would come with me.”

Alec’s eyes widened in shock, his mouth falling open.

Magnus released his face for a moment to grab something from his backpack.

Two plane tickets to Seattle.

“Pandemonium University will hold an open test to evaluate possible future students. Your school grades and skills in your desired area are big factors. If you surpass their expectations and achieve a very high score, they may concede you a full scholarship. With a part-time job, you wouldn’t even need your mother’s financial help. I…” Magnus gulped, his whole body tense. “I enrolled us both for the test.”

If Alec could make a noise, probably it would be of a wounded animal. He backed away so fast, he almost fell out of the bed. Shaking his head and grabbing his hair hard, the boy was one minute from hyperventilating.

He signaled one single word. Again and again and again.

“Can’t.”

“Yes, you can! If you stay here to study business and work for your mom, you’ll be giving up your dream. Archery won’t make you happy anymore. You’ll be miserable all your life!”

“I’m fine!”

“No, you’re not. Do you think I don’t know that you sometimes practice without your protective gear? Sometimes without your finger tabs and gloves, sometimes without your arm guard. And this coincidentally happens on days that Maryse upsets you the most. If you continue like this, you’ll turn something that makes you happy into a destructive activity. And for what? To not disappoint your mother?”

“You don’t understand. I can’t disobey her. I can’t do what I want. I can’t go with you.”

“You can’t or don’t want to?” Magnus narrowed his eyes. As much dread and sadness that he felt, there was also a hint of anger very hard to keep control.

Alec’s eyes were full of tears, but he refused to cry. He refused to be weak. He refused, refused, refused…

“Is it so hard to want to be happy, Alexander?” Magnus’ voice became low, almost a whisper, the fight leaving his body altogether. “I know that even Isabelle and Jace have considered attending a different university. Why do only you feel the need to prove something to your mother? In PU, you would be able to practice archery freely, not in the middle of the night like it’s something forbidden. You would be independent of your family. You would be surrounded by nice people. You would…”

Magnus felt a lump on his throat threatening to suffocate him.

You would be with me.

Alec shook his head again, hard.

“Why? You don’t need me. You’ll get bored of me as soon as you’re with your friends again.”

Magnus gasped, horrified.

“How can you think that? No! It’s different. I adore my friends, but you– You are– I’m in lo–”

“Go to your soulmate!” Alec signaled harshly. He didn’t care anymore if he sounded petulant or childish. “You want so badly to meet yours. Forget me then. Go away. Don’t bother with me anymore.”

“Alec, don’t do that…”

But the archer covered his ears, then turned around to avoid facing Magnus.

Magnus’ shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Okay… I won’t insist. I’ll see myself out then.”

Only when Alec heard the soft click of his door closing, he allowed himself to crumble onto the floor and cry. He felt so much for Magnus, it hurt sometimes. He didn’t want to be abandoned by him, too. But better rip off the band-aid now than to live with a heart even more broken.

On his desk, a plane ticket was left next to a decorative silver and blue arrow that Magnus gifted him on his last birthday.

~*~

Things got awkward between them.

They still offered unrestricted support to the other, but always silently, always shyly. There were no more touches and kisses. No more secret slushie dates. No more midnight promises and comfort. They were both again weighed by a heaviness threatening to drown them.

Isabelle literally shook Alec to try and put some sense into his thick, stubborn skull. Jace tried some words of support, but even he seemed baffled by Alec’s attitude. Their friends tried to talk with both Alec and Magnus separately, but nothing worked.

Magnus backed off and didn’t ask again.

Alec accepted his fate.

Fear is a funny thing. You try to protect your heart to not get hurt, but only hurt it more in the process.

Two months later, Magnus left.

The exams were over and they were officially free from high school. Their farewell was brief and stiff but no less painful. They barely could look the other in the eye – because both knew that if they did, the dam would break, and their resolution would crumble.

To top that awful day, while Magnus was on his way to the airport, Maryse arrived to have dinner with her three children, something not that common. She only ate with them when she wanted to criticize everything about them, even up to the very way they would breathe , or to announce some news concerning their family.

This time, it happened to be the latter.

“Starting next spring, we’re going to begin the arrangements for Alexander’s marriage.”

Alec’s eyes widened and his skin became at least three shades paler. Even Izzy and Jace stopped eating and looked at their mother in sheer horror.

“Marriage? What marriage?” Izzy spat. There was so much outrage in her voice, Alec was certain she was carrying enough emotions for them both.

“Your brother is out of age and it’s already high time for him to give back to this family everything we’ve done for him. We were lenient enough these last years, especially considering his… suspicious proclivities with Mr. Bane.”

Maybe it was a small mercy that Alec didn’t have a voice because he honestly wanted to scream.

“What have you done for him?” His twin sister was fuming now. “Do you mean hide him like he is some dirty secret? Magnus treated Alec better than you and this entire school together!”

Even in his shocked state, Alec had enough mind to grab his sister’s hand to make her stop talking.

“That boy only planted wrong ideas on Alec’s head. We’re going to correct that. Starting next term, he is going to study at Alicante University to assume our family business in the future. Then he is going to marry a nice lady to uphold our name. We’re thinking about Branwell's daughter. I believe she won’t mind Alec’s… predicament.”

Predicament. She talked as if he had some illness.

“Perhaps Councilor Dearborn’s daughter.”

No, no, no, no.

“Zara Dearborn is a snake!” Izzy protested and even Jace scrunched his face. “Also, Alec…”

I’m gay! Alec wanted to yell, but he knew it would only go through his mother’s deaf ears.

However, Maryse seemed to catch where his thoughts were trailing to.

“Contrary to what all of you think, I’m not a monster. If Alec insists on this… gay thing, there is an option I’m considering.”

“What option?” Jace’s anger was barely concealed, and he looked ready to punch something.

“Mr. Morgenstern offered an alliance of sorts,” Maryse explained. “Alec would marry his son only to keep the appearances, promoting our families as open-minded. Of course, if both want to, they can keep discreet extra conjugal relations with women to blow up some steam.”

Alec was going to throw up. There were so many wrong things his mother said, he didn’t even know where to begin to point out each of them.

It was disgusting.

Worse than that, she wanted to sell him to Jonathan Morgenstern. The same guy who has been tormenting Alec since day one.

He feels like a huge idiot. Magnus offered him a way out. A wonderful way out.

And he refused because he thought he had a duty with his family.

Magnus was leaving and Alec…

Alec…

“Go.”

Alec’s eyes snapped up to his siblings. They were both sporting the same expression, offering their silent support, pushing him to make the right choice for once.

To choose himself.

They knew what Magnus had given to him.

A bit dazed, but resolute, Alec pushed his chair back. He mouthed a ‘thank you, I love you’ to Izzy and Jace, and rushed out of the dining room, ignoring his mother’s call to come back.

Fuck everything.

Enough was enough.

He was tired of letting others choose for him.

Now, he was going to be the one to take his first step.

Alec’s locket shone for a brief moment and a soft click echoed.

But his heartbeat was too loud in his ears and his thoughts focused on just one thing for him to notice the change.

Opening his bedroom’s door, the first thing Alec did was going straight to his trash bin where he had thrown out the plane ticket–

It wasn’t there. Panic seized his lungs for a moment and he quickly looked around. It couldn’t end like that. Maybe he had misplaced it and didn’t remember or…

He gasped. Only then he noticed a big luggage in the corner of the room, a heavy backpack over it. Next to them, two pieces of paper – the airplane ticket and a post-it.

Go be happy. We will follow you later.

We love you.

IZ and JC

Some tears – when has he started to cry? – fell on the bright pink post-it. He loved his siblings so much. They were his true family.

And now it was time to take back the other half of it.

~*~

Magnus should feel elated. In a few hours, he will be entering the Spiral Labyrinth campus of Pandemonium University in Seattle. All his friends were already there, and he would finally be able to focus on the career of his dreams.

He only didn’t know that he was going there with a broken heart.

He had so much hope that Alec would go with him…

Maybe it wasn’t a surprise and Magnus expected too much. Blood was thicker than water after all.

“All passengers traveling to Seattle on flight Z17000 please have your boarding passes and passports ready for boarding. Flight Z17000 now boarding at gate 23.”

With a heavy sigh and a heavy heart, Magnus took his boarding pass and his backpack. He barely advanced two steps towards the gate when someone grabbed his forearm and turned him around.

“Alexander?” He gasped, taking the appearance of the other boy.

His skin was very flushed, his hair more disheveled than usual, his silent gasps trying to normalize his breath. Clearly, Alexander might’ve run a lot.

“What are you doing here? Did you come to say goodbye again?”

Alec shook his head hard, then pointed to his own backpack.

“A-Are you coming too?”

Alec smiled widely, nodding.

“But… How? Why? Don’t take this wrong, I’m super happy, but you were so adamant to not come. What made you change your mind?”

Alec was about to signal to explain to him when Magnus’ eyes widened and he gasped.

“Alexander, did you meet your soulmate?”

This time, it was Alec who was shocked. He glanced down and, as expected, his locket was open a couple of inches.

How…?

“Did you see it?” Magnus gulped, suddenly feeling his throat too dry.

Alec shook his head.

“Won’t you see then?”

This time, Alec took some minutes to look – really look – at Magnus, then shook his head again.

“But why? Didn’t you want to know? If you didn’t notice before, it might’ve opened not long ago. Perhaps he is here? Don’t you want to go look around? You might regret it if you take the plane now.”

Again, Alec shook his head.

“I-I don’t understand…” Magnus’ shoulders sagged.

“I’m tired of having my choices taken from me. Be it from my parents or fate.

I don’t want to study business.

I don’t want to get married to someone I don’t love.

I don’t want a soulmate that doesn't even know about me. 

For once, I want to choose for myself. 

And I…”

Alec stopped because the next words… He wanted to say them, even if they were soundless.

With his heart beating furiously, Alec leaped and mouthed.

I choose you, Magnus Bane.

Not wishing to waste a second more, Alec simply grabbed Magnus by his coat lapels and pulled him for a kiss.

A click sound.

A light.

Something unlocked.

Even in his blissed-out state, Magnus stepped slightly back to glance down at his own locket, now opened, and he finally understood.

It was never a matter of choosing something first.

But being the first choice of someone.

Of his soulmate.

Alec’s picture inside his soul locket was proof enough.

“You…”

That was enough to make Alec also look at his own locket, his eyes brimming with tears.

There was a picture of Magnus inside his.

“Alexander, we… we are… we–”

Alec’s eyes were shining with unshed, happy tears. He approached Magnus again, but this time there was a calm, a certainty in his gestures. He nuzzled the side of Magnus’ nose with his own, giving him a bunny kiss. Then, he glided their lips together, savoring the taste of cherry lip gloss. 

Their second kiss was as perfect as the first one. Full of promises and hope.

There was a third kiss. A fourth. A fifth.

So many.

They absolutely lost track of time, and suddenly…

“Final boarding call for flight Z17000 to Seattle.”

Honestly, Magnus couldn’t care less. He pretty much would go fucking walking to Seattle if meant keeping kissing Alec until their lips felt numb.

Alec, however, had always been the voice of reason between them, and with the brightest smile Magnus had ever seen on him, he pulled them both towards the gate.

Towards their new life.

Not before one last peck that caused a new wave of giggles between them, of course.

Because their hearts chose one another before the cryptic words of fate had a say in it.