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Chapter Text

Kazuma's eyes were closed as he flowed through the movements of the kata, not needing to see when he could just feel.

How many times had he performed that kata, and so many others, over the course of his life? How many times had he gone through that same flow, kicks leading to punches leading to blocks and strikes. Leaps. Pivots.

The same precise movements, performed with the same crisp sharpness he'd always brought to his kata, and to all his karate practice.

How many times had he gone through that routine in this very room, the largest practice room in the Sohma Dojo? First as a young student, wide-eyed and eager to learn, then as a teenager, cocky and confident, desperate to prove himself and not caring how aggressive he was in the process. As a young man, finally appreciating the importance of control. A middle-aged man, happy and at peace.

And now...

Hundreds of times. Thousands. He was alone in the room, but he also wasn’t. With his eyes closed, he could almost see his younger selves moving beside him, all their movements in tandem. Younger selves pushing themselves, working to improve, bit by bit, and day by day.

How many more times would he perform that routine, comfortable and precise, before it became too much? Before the arms and legs that moved easily now became stiff and twisted with age, before the movements that had always felt natural became too painful to keep performing?

Before that space, his space, was no longer his, and the entire dojo had passed into someone else’s care?

Kazuma's eyes remained closed and his steps never faltered, even with such painful thoughts passing through his mind. He felt confident that it would be some time yet; years, with any luck, if not longer. But someday, at some time...he, like everyone who had come before him, would have to accept the limitations of age, and it would be his turn to bow out of the dojo for one final time as its master.

But not that night.

Finishing the last steps of his kata, Kazuma came to a final resting position, open hands raised and one leg stretched back behind him. For a minute he held the pose, feeling the stretch in his muscles and centering himself as he always did after a routine, then he opened his eyes.

"You can come in, if you want, Hajime."

From behind him, he heard a quiet chuckle, and the sound of soft footfalls crossing the tatami. Straightening up, Kazuma turned, his face breaking into a wide smile at the sight of his oldest grandchild.

"How did you know it was me?" Hajime asked, walking up to Kazuma with a sheepish smile. And Kazuma laughed, reaching out and giving Hajime a hug.

"I could feel it. There are very few people it could have been, and you're the only one who should be closer than Aomori prefecture," Kazuma said, releasing Hajime and looking him over. "Though I have to say, this is still rather unexpected. Is anything the matter?"

It had been months since Hajime had moved out of the dojo and into the old Sohma house where his parents had once lived. Hajime's second year at Kaibara High was well underway, with winter break on the horizon in barely over a month. While Hajime still came to the dojo twice a week for karate and once a week for dinner with Kazuma, Thursdays were not one of those days.

Kazuma had meant it when he told Hajime he could feel him watching. Kazuma had always been able to feel it, and it made him smile just as much now as it had all those years ago, back when it was Kyo watching him, wanting to talk. Now Kyo was grown, but old habits died hard; Kyo would still come up behind Kazuma sometimes, hesitating as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say.

And it was a habit that he’d passed to his children.

But at Kazuma's question, Hajime shook his head.

"No, nothing's wrong, Grandpa. I just..." he hesitated, and suddenly Kazuma realized that he was nervous. Normally Hajime was calm and collected, the polar opposite of his father at that age in so many ways.

But not that night.

Which begged the question ‘why.’

"I just...wanted to talk to you," Hajime said finally, hastening to add, "if you're not too busy."

Kazuma looked at him thoughtfully, then glanced at the clock on the wall. It was just after eight, on a school night to boot; Kazuma couldn't think of the last time Hajime had dropped in unexpectedly, especially not so late.

And he was nervous.

Again, why?

But Kazuma shook his head anyway. "No, I'm not busy. Please, sit," he said, gesturing to the tatami. "We can talk."

Both of them dropped to their knees, facing one another. And at first, they both were silent, Hajime staring down at the tatami and Kazuma silently scrutinizing Hajime's face and body language.

Hajime had started karate when he was five; he knew how to sit in seiza, and his posture in many respects was impeccable. But Kazuma's sharp eyes took in the way Hajime's hands were tightly gripping his pant legs just above the knees, the way the muscles in his arms were rigid. The way his jaw was set in that familiar hard line, in a way so very similar to Kyo's.

He was so very similar to Kyo, Hajime. Similar face, similar build. Similar hair, even if it was darker. Identically shaped eyes, even if they were brown instead of amber-red. A similar way of watching Kazuma, and a similar way of stiffening when he was trying to work up the nerve to talk about something serious.

What?

Kazuma sat calmly, his face and body relaxed, but inside he was a mass of questions.

Hajime had said there was nothing wrong, and Kazuma wanted to trust him. Hajime had never given him any reason not to trust him; responsibility might as well have been his middle name.

But it was hard for Kazuma not to feel anxious. Too much of this was unexpected; even with Hajime's assurance that nothing was wrong, there was clearly something weighing heavily on Hajime's mind, and Kazuma could only hope that talking about it would help.

Hajime was struggling to begin, and Kazuma didn't push him. Depending on the person, leading questions could often be helpful...but he'd always found that Hajime did best getting started on his own.

And there was no rush; Kazuma could be patient.

Instead, he continued to watch, and to wonder.

He'd just seen Hajime on Tuesday, and everything had seemed fine then. Casting his mind back, Kazuma couldn't think of anything that had seemed amiss in at that point; Hajime had looked and sounded the same as he ever did, and there had been nothing they'd talked about that seemed like it might be a concern. There were no parent-teacher conferences; Hajime's class trip was over and paid off. Exams were coming up, Kazuma knew, but when they'd talked about those on Tuesday Hajime had seemed almost dismissive. No one was sick, no one was injured...

So what?

When Hajime finally started speaking, his voice was soft, and he didn't lift his head. His eyes were so focused on the patch of tatami that they could practically burn a hole in it. But quiet as Hajime's voice was, his words immediately got Kazuma's undivided attention.

"I wanted...to talk to you...about Dad."

In spite of Hajime's assurance that everything was fine, the first and only thing Kazuma could think of was that something was wrong. Why else would Hajime be so serious, and appear so unexpectedly? Maybe not something health related, but something else? Something with Kyo's dojo? Something with Tohru and Kyo's home?

Kazuma's voice was suddenly sharp, and he could hear his own anxiety as he asked,

"Is everything alright in Hibe? Have you heard anything from your parents?"

Hajime could hear that concern, and he briefly looked up and met Kazuma's eyes as he rapidly shook his head. "No, it's nothing like that, Grandpa. Dad's fine, everyone's fine up there. Everything's fine up there," he corrected, and Kazuma let out a slow, relieved exhale.

But now, he was simply confused.

"Hajime, I'm afraid I need you to explain."

Hajime's gaze had dropped back down to the tatami, and as Kazuma followed it, he could see that Hajime's grip on his pant legs had tightened to the point his knuckles were white. Hajime had nodded in response to Kazuma's question, acknowledging the need to explain, but once more unable to find the words.

At first.

"Grandpa...have you ever...did you ever..."

Kazuma sat, quiet. Waiting.

Listening.

"Did you ever...when you..."

Hajime was stumbling over his words, trying to say something but not knowing how. And Kazuma heart ached as he looked at his grandson, seeing in Hajime's rigid body and hearing in his somewhat shaky voice just how incredibly hard this had to be.

But he couldn't do anything then, except for give Hajime time.

Hajime's voice got even quieter.

"Was there ever...a time...when you had to tell Dad..."

He swallowed hard, his head tipping even further forward so that Kazuma couldn't see his eyes. Then Hajime gulped, and Kazuma watched as his fingers clenched and re-clenched against his legs.

"That you were different?"

The words were barely above a whisper, but they hit Kazuma with all the force of a punch. His eyes widened, and he stared at Hajime, at the tense, anxious figure that normally stood so confident and proud. At the boy who couldn't lift his head, couldn't look Kazuma in the eye, could hardly find his own voice.

A boy who, nonetheless, was so impossibly brave.

Kazuma's mouth was dry, and he found it hard to swallow. He knew Hajime was waiting for an answer; Hajime's body was still tense, but there was the smallest hint of relaxation there, now that he had said what he needed to say.

Kazuma needed to say something...but he couldn't. Not yet.

Silence hung heavily over the two of them, neither one of them moving. Hajime's gaze remained fixed on the floor, Kazuma's on Hajime, and neither one of them spoke for what felt like an eternity. Then, finally, Kazuma recovered...

And he hated himself for it.

"No."

Hajime's head jerked up, and he looked at Kazuma in wide-eyed surprise.

"No?" he repeated, his tone confused and his expression bewildered, and Kazuma gave Hajime the barest of nods.

"No," Kazuma confirmed quietly. "I've never told your father...anything like that."

Silence followed Kazuma's words, and he felt bare and exposed under the confusion and distress in Hajime's face. It felt like hours, but it was really only a few moments before Hajime was rising to his feet, his head ducked and his eyes averted away from Kazuma's.

"Never mind, Grandpa. It's not important, anyway. I just-" He broke off, shaking his head as he turned to go. "Just never mind. Forget I asked."

"Hajime-" Kazuma began, standing as well, but Hajime was still shaking his head.

"Like I said, never mind. Good night, Grandpa, I'll see you on Saturday."

Kazuma wanted to say something, but he couldn't. Wanted to follow him, but felt as though his feet were rooted to the ground. And as the door closed behind Hajime, Kazuma slowly dropped back to the floor, his body automatically taking the seiza position he'd spent a lifetime perfecting.

One of so many things he'd spent a lifetime perfecting.

And he sat there, lost in his own thoughts without seeing the room, or noticing the passage of time. He was so wrapped up that he didn't notice the door open, or hear the footsteps; it wasn't until he felt the hand on his shoulder that he knew anyone else was there, and he responded with an extremely uncharacteristic jolt, jerking away and looking up at Kunimitsu with startled eyes.

Kunimitsu was clearly almost as surprised as Kazuma, and Kazuma could hardly blame him. How many times had Kazuma been told, by students and family members alike, how freakishly unfair his senses were? Kazuma, who could feel when he was being watched, who could identify who was walking up behind him by the sound of their footfalls...he was never snuck up on. Never.

"Whoa, Kazuma, you ok?" Once the surprise had passed, Kunimitsu's expression reflected concern, and he lightly replaced his hand on Kazuma's shoulder. "Is everything alright with Hajime?" he asked, suddenly worried.

"Hajime?" Kazuma's own voice was surprised, and Kunimitsu nodded.

"Yeah. He stopped by the house looking for you earlier, and I told him you were out here. Didn't he find you? It was over an hour ago," Kunimitsu said, looking up at the clock with a frown.

A glance at the clock told Kazuma it was already nine-thirty, and his eyes once more widened in surprise.

How long had he been sitting out there, alone with his thoughts?

"Yes, Hajime stopped in a while ago, of course," Kazuma said, rising to his feet. "He had something he wanted to talk to me about, but everything is fine. He left some time ago, and I was just...thinking."

"Clearly," Kunimitsu said, the frown back on his face as he studied Kazuma closely. "Kazuma, are you-"

"-Yes, Kunimitsu, I'm fine. I'm fine, Hajime is fine, everyone else is fine, too. As embarrassing as it is for me to admit, you simply caught me spacing out," Kazuma said, giving Kunimitsu a smile. "I suppose my age is finally starting to catch up to me."

Kunimitsu snorted at that, but he could tell that Kazuma wasn't going to say anything else.

"If you say so."

And although Kazuma knew Kunimitsu didn't believe him, that was ok.

He didn't need him to.

Chapter Text

"Ok, so now that the last reports have been turned in by the final two classes, I think that's everything we needed to close the file on this year's Culture Fest. Does anyone have any objections?"

Hajime looked expectantly up from his notes, from where a neatly written list with accompanying check boxes stared back up at him. Putting the last checks next to '2-C report' and '2-A report' had been deeply satisfying and long overdue, and as far as Hajime was concerned if anyone did have objections, they'd have to be really good ones for him to want to give that list a single extra second of his time.

Fortunately, a glance around the room proved that no one had any objections, and Hajime let out a satisfied sigh.

"Good. In that case..." he set the checklist down on the desk in front of him, then consulted his agenda one last time. "Does anyone else have any business that wasn't on the agenda?"

Again, his question was met with silence, and Hajime looked around the room.

"Ok, then that should be all for today. Thanks for your hard work."

There was a loud scraping of chairs as the twelve class reps quickly got up, along with the actual student council. But while the reps quickly fled the room, the student council members remained behind, gathered in a loose knot around Hajime as he rapidly flipped his papers into neat stacks.

"I can't believe 2-A and 2-C only just got us their reports," Secretary Chiaki said, frowning as he looked at the two stapled bundles that made up one of Hajime's piles. "The Culture Fest was three weeks ago, did they lose them? Decide to write them by committee, voting on every sentence?"

He was looking accusingly at Mutsuki as he spoke, and Mutsuki laughed and held up his hands.

"Hey, don't blame me just because my class was abysmally tardy. Preparing those reports is the class rep's job; all I could do, even as the vice president, was gently suggest he gets a move on."

Chiaki eyed him for a moment. "You never said anything, did you?"

"Nope!" Mutsuki said cheerfully.

Hajime rolled his eyes and reached out for the reports, then paused.

"Mio, did you still need these?"

The treasurer promptly shook her head. "Nope, I got the financials from the classes two weeks ago. They had the numbers; they've just been dragging on the full reports."

"Of course they have," Hajime muttered, his expression annoyed, but Mio not needing them made things a little easier. Opening a large binder sitting on the desk, Hajime flipped through it until he found the section he was looking for and opened the spine, then put the two missing reports in with the other second-year classes.

The rest of Hajime's papers went into either a second binder that he tucked into his schoolbag or else into the recycling bin, and then he looked around at the rest of the student council.

"Well, I'm going to take this," he said, picking up the Culture Fest binder, "up to the records room and get it put away...finally..." he said, a scowl crossing his face. "You guys all enjoy the rest of your weekend, I'll see you next week."

Mio, Chiaki, and first-year rep Sawa all said their good-byes, then headed out of the room. Hajime sighed once more, then picked up the binder and glanced at Mutsuki, who'd hung back.

"Thanks for waiting."

Mutsuki shrugged, grinning. "Well, you did ask."

"Yes, asked. That doesn't mean you had to say 'yes,'" Hajime reminded him as the two of them walked out of the room, locking it behind them.

"Doesn't it? You are my president, after all," Mutsuki teased. "Saying 'no' to you could get me fired, or worse!"

"Believe me, if I had the power to fire people, it wouldn't be you, Mutsuki," Hajime said as the two of them climbed the stairs to the third floor, their footsteps echoing through the empty hallway. Saturday meetings were always the worst, but there weren't a lot of options when the full student government had so many people, aka ‘so many conflicts.’

"Let me guess, my dearly beloved Class Rep Ishikawa, maybe?" Mutsuki said, his grey eyes dancing, and Hajime's face twitched.

"Seriously, just do the damn work! It should not take three fucking weeks to make one simple report, especially not when they apparently had the financials, the actually complicated part, ready weeks ago," Hajime practically exploded. "What else even is there after that? A summary, photos, detailed breakdown of what they did. None of it’s hard, none of it should take long. Most of it they should have had the day after the festival! Yet here we are, three weeks later, only now getting this done? Why do we even bother having deadlines?"

Hajime was glowering as they made their way down the hallway to the records room, just a few doors down from the student council office. And he was still glowering when they reached the door and he pulled out his keys, unlocking and opening the door with a wrench.

Mutsuki had been leaning against the wall as Hajime wrestled with the door, an amused expression on his face.

"Careful, Hajime, or you're going to hurt the door's feelings. Or possibly just the door."

Hajime gave Mutsuki an annoyed look, not even dignifying that with a response before stalking into the room. And Mutsuki chuckled, glancing down the hallway before following Hajime in and closing the door behind them.

Hajime practically beelined to the section where all the information on school festivals was kept, and it took him barely any time to find the place for that year's Culture Fest binder. Mutsuki watched as the binder joined its fellows on the shelf, then he grinned at Hajime.

"There, it's done. Feel better now?"

Hajime sighed, then eyed Mutsuki, who continued to grin at him before tilting his head and cocking one brow.

"Well?"

Hajime made a sound that was halfway between a sigh and a growl, then turned towards Mutsuki, his hands coming up to cup Mutsuki's face and draw him close. And as their lips crashed together, Hajime had to silently admit that the answer was 'no,' but hopefully also 'soon.'

Some time later, as they adjusted their clothes and smoothed out their hair, Hajime noticed Mutsuki looking at him thoughtfully and he felt strangely self-conscious.

"What's that look for?" he asked, his voice somewhat gruff as he buttoned his shirt.

Mutsuki wasn't the least bit upset he'd been caught staring.

"What, I can't stare at my boyfriend, not even in times like this? You are cruel, Hajime," he said, his tone light and teasing, prompting Hajime to blush.

"That's not what I mean and you know it, Mutsuki. You're doing it again."

Mutsuki looked at him, then sighed. "Fine. But if you can tell I'm doing it 'again,'" he mimicked, "then you don't really need to ask, do you?"

Hajime sighed in turn, torn between affection and annoyance.

"I've already told you, I'm not stressed. Not any more than I've ever been this year," he corrected, thinking about the workload he was carrying between the presidency, his third-year class work, studying for his university exams, and trying to eke out a social life.

Mutsuki knew that.

"See, you keep saying that," Mutsuki replied, walking over to Hajime and yanking his tie out of Hajime's pants pocket, "But you just jumped me in the records room. Again," he said, his eyes dancing as he draped his tie around his neck and began to tie it.

Hajime's blush deepened. "Mutsuki, if I'm being-"

"-Oh no, it's nothing like that," Mutsuki quickly said. "I mean, you did ask, after all," he said, giving Hajime a wink. But then he sobered up, just a tiny bit. "But much as I enjoy seeing you all hot and bothered amidst the stacks, it's been a lot lately. Can you blame me for worrying?"

Hajime tried to laugh it off. "So now it makes you worry, me wanting you? Seems like the kind of thing most guys would be happy about."

Mutsuki was eyeing Hajime with patient resignation. "'Most guys' don't know you like I do, Hajime...I hope," he said, his mouth twitching upwards and provoking yet another blush from Hajime. "And with my unique knowledge set," he continued, moving closer to Hajime and smoothing the front of his shirt, "I know that you get horny when you're stressed."

Damn it, why did Mutsuki have to be so damn observant?

"Maybe I'm just horny. I am a teenager, isn't that we're supposed to be?" Hajime asked, trying to ignore the way Mutsuki's hands were moving down his torso. But Mutsuki just shook his head.

"Seriously, Hajime, I wish you'd just admit it. You've been wound tighter than a spring for the past few weeks, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who's noticed."

Hajime's jaw twitched in annoyance, but he couldn't argue with Mutsuki's point.

Either of them.

"Everyone just needs to focus on themselves and stop worrying so much about me," he said gruffly. "That goes for you too, by the way."

"Sorry, can't," Mutsuki said, stepping away from Hajime and picking up their schoolbags. "By being close to me, you're stuck having me worry about you in perpetuity," he continued, handing Hajime his.

As Hajime looped his bag over his shoulder, he gave Mutsuki another look that was half exasperation and half affection.

"Lucky me."

As they let themselves out of the records room and locked the door behind them, Mutsuki glanced at Hajime, musing aloud,

"Was that sarcasm? Sometimes it's really hard to tell with you."

Upon arriving at home, Hajime and Mutsuki changed out of their uniforms, then Mutsuki drifted into Hajime's room with his schoolbag in tow. Even though the two of them were in different grades, they'd been doing their homework together for years; even back when Hajime was living in the dojo his first year of high school, Mutsuki would often come over and they'd both flop on the floor, noses in their books.

Back then Hajime had claimed to hate it; Hajime had always preferred a quiet and orderly approach to schoolwork, while Mutsuki was physically unable to sit still or be quiet for longer than five minutes. But he'd still let Mutsuki join him, and it wasn't long after they'd all moved into Shigure's old house that Mutsuki started doing his homework with Hajime every day. Hajime still complained about it sometimes; occasionally, even a stellar student like him needed extra focus. Mutsuki was never allowed around when Hajime actually needed to buckle down and properly study.

But the rest of the time...in general...he liked it.

As usual, they both sat on the floor. Hajime had a desk, but he rarely used it; him sitting at his desk was the universal sign that he was working on something Very Important and wasn't to be bothered at all for any reason other than an emergency.

Mutsuki had a desk too, in his room...technically. A person would have to dig through several layers of mess to find it, since Mutsuki seemed to consider literally every surface as a place to keep literally everything, but it was technically there somewhere.

Probably.

And that was just one of the many reasons that they always ended up in Hajime's room, sprawled out on the floor with their books spread out in front of them.

Both Hajime and Mutsuki were good students, so they tended to move through their homework at similar brisk paces. That day was no different, and even with Mutsuki's idle chatter, they were mostly done after little more than an hour, which was when Mutsuki rose to his feet.

"I'm going to run downstairs and get some snacks. Try not to have too much fun without me," he said, grinning as he looked at Hajime amidst his homework, red-rimmed reading glasses perched on his nose.

"Oh, I'll try," Hajime said dryly, then called after Mutsuki, "Nothing with crumbs, unless you're actually going to clean up this time!"

Mutsuki's room might be a pit of chaos, but Hajime's was so tidy it was almost, as Mutsuki liked to tease him, painful.

Mutsuki didn't respond, and Hajime snorted as he turned his attention back to his physics homework. He was pretty confident Mutsuki had heard him, he was just pretending he hadn't so he had plausible deniability when he inevitably returned with something that would crumble and leave little fragments on the floor, fragments that would poke Hajime's feet and drive him crazy in the five minutes they'd linger before Hajime couldn't take it anymore and either made Mutsuki clean them up or just did it himself.

Not like that had ever happened before, once or twice.

But overall, Hajime didn’t mind; he could use a snack himself, even one with crumbs. And while Mutsuki was gone he had a few minutes to concentrate, which meant he might even get to finish his assignment.

He was in the middle of writing out an answer when a ringing phone snapped him out of homework mode. With a sigh, he reached for his pocket, then paused as he realized it wasn't his phone ringing, but rather Mutsuki's.

"Hey, Mutsuki! Phone!"

There was no answer, so Hajime guessed Mutsuki was still downstairs and couldn't hear. Whoever it was could go to voicemail easily enough, but Hajime still reached out to pick up the phone and see who was calling. Depending on who it was, he might even answer it; their phones had never been private from one another, and most of the time people calling one of them were happy to talk to the other.

But as he looked at the screen, Hajime was in for a surprise. The contact picture up on the screen was a selfie of Mutsuki himself, beaming at the camera as his face crowded into the frame with Hajime's own mother. And the contact name confirmed it, 'Aunt Tohru' displaying below the picture in large white characters.

Hajime was startled. Why was his mom calling Mutsuki?

He stared at the phone, hesitating as it continued to ring.

Should he answer? Not answer?

A quick check of his own phone confirmed that she hadn't tried calling him, so...

The phone was just about to go to voicemail when Hajime answered, lifting the phone to his ear.

"Mom?"

Tohru's voice was almost as startled as Hajime's face had been.

"Hajime?"

"Yes, that's right. Everything ok?"

He could hear how flustered his mom was, and that made her next words a relief.

"Yes, of course! Everything is fine, Hajime, thank you for asking! Is everything ok with you?" she asked, and Hajime had to smile at her frantic attempts to collect herself and sound normal.

Tohru had never been good at being calm under pressure, though why there was pressure involved in talking to Hajime, he had no idea.

Then again, he still had no idea why she was calling Mutsuki's phone, either, and while he was relieved to hear that everything was ok back home, he was still confused.

"Yes, everything's fine here. Mutsuki and I were just doing homework, but he's down getting some food right now."

"Oh, of course," his mom said, and Hajime could hear the understanding in her voice. "Well, that's good to hear. You both need to make sure you're keeping your energy levels up, you're both still growing, after all, and homework is hard!"

Hajime cracked a smile at that, looking at the phone affectionately.

"We know, Mom. We're seventeen, you don't have to remind us to eat!"

"You'd be surprised," Tohru said with a laugh. "There are days your father forgets to eat, and he's forty!"

"Yes, well, that's Dad."

Mutsuki walked back into the room with a plate of snacks, looking curiously at Hajime holding Mutsuki's bright purple phone.

Hajime glanced at him, then back to the phone.

"Hey, Mutsuki just got back, Mom. Can I put you on speaker?"

Was it his imagination, or did Tohru hesitate? But then her voice came, bright and cheerful.

"Of course! It's not nearly often enough I get to talk to you both."

Hajime hit the speaker button, and Tohru's voice filled the room as Mutsuki sat down beside Hajime.

"Mutsuki, hello!"

"Hello, Aunt Tohru," Mutsuki said cheerfully. "How's everything in the great white wilderness?"

Tohru laughed. "It hasn't started snowing yet, Mutsuki, it's only the middle of November! But we're all doing well here, thank you. I hope you and Hajime are both working very hard."

Hajime rolled his eyes and started to answer, but Mutsuki beat him to the punch. "Well, I'm trying to, but I've got nothing on your son these days. You really ought to use some of those 'mom' powers of yours to make him relax more, Aunt Tohru!"

Mutsuki's tone was teasing, but Hajime groaned internally. And his concern was validated when Tohru's voice turned anxious.

"Really? Hajime, have you been pushing yourself too hard again? You haven't been sick, have you? I know school is important, but you need to be sure you're taking care of yourself, too!"

Hajime was glaring daggers at Mutsuki, who was beaming evilly back at him.

"I'm fine, Mom. I haven't been sick, and I haven't been pushing myself too hard, either. Ignore Mutsuki, he's just being a smart-ass."

"Still-" Tohru began, her voice fretful, and Hajime channeled his firmest 'Kyo' manner.

"-Mom, I'm fine. Yes, I've been busy, but it's nothing I can't handle. We've got almost a month until exams, and I've got almost another month after that before I've got the Center Test. Now that everything related to the Culture Fest is over, we don't have any more big events until the end of the school year, so student council ought to be a lot quieter. I'll be fine, I promise."

Tohru was silent for a moment, then she sighed, almost too quietly for them to hear.

"Well, if you're sure, Hajime. But since you're working, I suppose I'll let you go. It was nice talking to you, though!"

"Goodbye, Aunt Tohru!" Mutsuki said cheerfully. "Say ‘hi’ to everyone up there!"

"Of course, Mutsuki."

"Talk to you later, Mom."

"Have a good night, Hajime!"

Hanging up the phone, Hajime passed it back to Mutsuki, giving him an annoyed look as he did so.

"Why the hell'd you say that to Mom, Mutsuki? Were you trying to upset her?"

"By telling her you need to relax more? I'm not wrong, Hajime, you do need to relax more."

Whether or not Hajime needed to relax was beside the point, and Hajime wasn't about to start that argument again.

"You know Mom's been weirdly worried about me ever since I skipped going home for summer break; she already thinks I'm working too hard, and you making comments like that isn't helping."

Mutsuki picked up an apple from his snack plate.

"Have you ever stopped to think that if multiple people think you're stressed, you might actually be stressed?"

Hajime simply scowled at him, reaching out to take the second apple.

"Why was Mom calling you, anyway?"

Mutsuki grinned at him. "Isn't it obvious? Because she loves me, and considers me the third son she never had."

Hajime eyed him for a moment, then grunted.

"Fine. Don't tell me."

Chuckling, Mutsuki turned his attention back to his homework, and Hajime did to his.

Neither one of them brought up the phone call again.

"-So they finally got the reports to us today, and that means we're finally done with everything related to the Culture Fest. It would have been nice to actually be done on time, but," Hajime sighed, shrugging his shoulders as he looked across the table at Kazuma. "There's only so much I can do."

"Clearly," Kazuma said with a smile.

The two of them were sitting at Kazuma’s living room table with Kunimitsu, dinner spread out on the table in front of them. Although Hajime hadn't lived in the dojo since his first year of high school, he still came by once a week outside of karate just to talk and have dinner with his grandfather, a routine that all of them enjoyed. Kazuma had understood Hajime's motivations in moving out, but he still missed having his grandson around, especially now that Hajime's workload kept him so very busy.

And once again, it was that workload that was the topic of conversation, albeit more out of curiosity and less out of concern. Kazuma and Kunimitsu had been hearing about the Culture Fest for over two months now, and they had a vested interest in hearing the story to its conclusion.

"Sounds like a couple of the class reps need to learn about time management," Kunimitsu remarked, taking a bite of his curry. "You'd think by the time you kids were in high school, you'd know how to get things done on time."

"Well, apparently some people think student government is a low priority," Hajime said with an annoyed sigh. "Though why they agree to do it if they can't commit, I have no idea."

"Not everyone has your sense of responsibility, Hajime," Kazuma said with a smile. "Which is to their detriment."

Hajime tried not to look too pleased at the compliment; as much as he got annoyed by student council work, he was proud of what he and his council managed to do and the work they put in. Some of the class reps might leave something to be desired, but he had no complaints about the actual student council.

Mostly.

"Well, someone's got to make sure everything gets finished in time," Hajime said. "If it means getting on people's cases once in a while, then I can do that as well as anyone else." Though at the smiles he got from Kazuma and Kunimitsu, Hajime blushed, then corrected himself, "maybe better."

"The student government is lucky to have you," Kazuma said. "But I suppose that with the Cultural Festival being over, things ought to have calmed down for you now."

Hajime nodded. "Pretty much. There aren't any more big events coming up, not until actual graduation."

The word 'graduation' hung over them all for a moment, and Hajime immediately busied himself with his food so he didn't have to look at the expression on Kazuma's face. Graduation was the weirdest thing; it made even the most rational adults in Hajime's life turn sappy.

And Hajime's family had always been a bit sappy to start with.

"Well," Kazuma said finally, "I suppose that's not all that far away at this point, is it? Just another four months?"

Hajime nodded, looking down at his rice.

"The end of March."

Kazuma was quiet again, then he smiled. "I imagine the break in student council responsibilities right now must be a relief. I've heard you have quite a lot on your plate these days."

Hajime smiled ruefully. "Let me guess, from my parents?"

Kazuma chuckled. "Perhaps."

Hajime knew he shouldn't be surprised, but it was starting to grate on him just how much everyone around him felt the need to worry. His mom was one thing; she had always worried about him, and she'd probably continue to worry about him into the afterlife where she would continue to worry about whatever spirits worried about. But that was Mom.

Everyone else was another story, and that story was getting really old.

"Don't worry about me, Grandpa. I'm busy, yes, but I'm managing, same as everyone else."

Kazuma was giving him that thoughtful look of his, and Hajime immediately felt the need to add, "Really."

"As long as you're sure, Hajime."

"I'm sure."

He was not overworked. He was not stressed. The only things that were maybe stressing him out were all the people accusing him of being stressed.

Why couldn't people just accept that?

Chapter Text

"Shit shit shit shit shit!"

Mutsuki watched as Hajime flew around the student council office, frantically picking up scattered papers while he attempted to fix his clothes.

"Mutsuki, did you see where I put my bag?"

"It's by the door, next to mine," Mutsuki said, straightening up. "Hajime, don't worry about the papers, ok? I can finish them, I promise; contrary to popular belief, I am more than competent enough to sort things by date."

Hajime hesitated, looking at Mutsuki and around the room. Normally he would agree, but there was a lot to sort out; neither one of them had been paying attention to their surroundings when they had knocked into the shelf where the current year's student council documents were kept, and there were dozens, if not hundreds, of pages to pick up, sort, and put away.

And neither one of them had actually even noticed until Hajime's phone alarm had gone off to remind him that he needed to get to karate class.

They’d also both forgotten it was Tuesday, the one day a week Hajime still attended karate classes, and that would have made things complicated enough even without the scattered papers. As things stood, Hajime was extremely disheveled, surrounded by an office of chaos, and pretty much guaranteed to be late for karate.

It was not a great moment.

"Just go," Mutsuki repeated, closing the distance between them and rapidly buttoning Hajime's shirt, then smoothing his hair. "I'll take care of this, and if you run then maybe you'll make it without being late. Unless you want to skip?"

Hajime considered that for a split second, then shook his head.

"No, Grandpa would only worry. Thanks, Mutsuki," he said, giving Mutsuki a sheepish smile, and Mutsuki grinned as he leaned up and kissed him.

"Just remember this the next time you get grouchy with me, hmm? Now go."

Nodding, Hajime turned and grabbed his bag, then took off. And Mutsuki chuckled as he watched Hajime sprint down the hall, hoping for Hajime's sake that certain overbearing faculty members hadn't lingered after school that day.

As he finished fixing his own clothing, Mutsuki looked around with a rueful sigh. Normally the two of them were more careful, or at least more aware, but today-

No, not today, Mutsuki mentally corrected himself. Today, yes, but not only today.

Crouching, Mutsuki started collecting the fallen papers, deciding for now just to get everything off the floor and onto the table before starting to sort anything. This was clearly going to take a while, so he might as well make himself comfortable and figure out a good system.

But even though it was a big task, it was an easy one. Mutsuki didn't have to think too much about what he was doing; Hajime's dedication to order and consistent, almost obsessive labelling meant it should be easy to get everything sorted...once he'd picked everything up and turned it all over.

And that meant that he had a lot of time to think.

Hajime could deny it all he wanted, but Mutsuki wasn't fooled. Hajime was Stressed, with a capital 'S', although what specifically about, Mutsuki had no idea. Hajime was quick to point out that he'd been carrying the same heavy workload that entire year, and that it was bound to catch up with him once in a while.

A little rough patch didn't mean anything.

Except it wasn't just a little rough patch, anymore.

Mutsuki had started to notice it that summer, after the rest of the Sohmas had returned from their week at the beach house. Hajime had stayed back at the house in Tokyo, intending to use the week of quiet to focus on studying for his university entrance exams and maybe catch up on some sleep.

And he had...allegedly.

But while Hajime had seemed happy to see Mutsuki again, he'd been strangely moody and somewhat withdrawn the first few days after Mutsuki and Kinu got back. Mutsuki's attempts to tease the reasons out of him had been met with resistance that bordered on hostility, and eventually Mutsuki had backed off to give Hajime his space. Hajime had perked up eventually, and he'd apologized, but Mutsuki could tell there was still something bugging him, something he refused to talk about.

Hajime's elevated stress levels had become even more obvious once planning for the Culture Fest had gotten underway in late September, and while the entire student council was also frazzled, Hajime was at a level all his own. Everything seemed to elicit dramatic reactions from him; even simple things, like the idea of his mom's friend Saki coming to the Culture Fest, had set him off. Those periods of volatility would be followed by low moods...or accompanied by extremely amorous ones.

A part of Mutsuki had admittedly enjoyed it. While the two of them had been together since the previous summer, they had taken things very slowly at first; months had passed before they'd done anything more than kiss.

Those innocent days were gone, though, and stressed-out Hajime was a different creature entirely. And while amorous Hajime was wonderful in the moment, outside of the moment Mutsuki was starting to question just how healthy any of what was happening actually was.

He'd thought things would settle down after the Culture Fest, but if anything, they had gotten worse. When Hajime was dealing with other people, whether at school or anywhere else, he managed, but by himself? Or when it was just him and Mutsuki? Then all bets were off, along with at least a few clothes.

Mutsuki didn't know what was going on with Hajime. He had guesses, but every time he'd tried to figure things out, he'd been shut down.

Fair enough; Hajime didn't have to talk if he didn't want to.

But by the time Mutsuki had finished sorting the papers much later, he knew one thing; he wasn't going to let things go on as they’d been, not anymore.

"Hajime, may I have a word with you?"

Kazuma's voice was quiet, but Hajime still felt the censure as much as he heard it. Abandoning his position in the group of students currently going through the kata, he followed Kazuma to the edge of the room, stepping into a neutral stance and waiting for the critique he knew was coming.

Kazuma didn't waste any time.

"Is everything alright with you today, Hajime?"

Hajime's first instinct was to say yes. Everything was alright, just like everything was always alright. He was fine. Life was fine. There was nothing wrong with him, his stress levels, or literally anything else about him, other than the fact that people kept saying he seemed stressed or overworked.

But he knew Kazuma wasn't asking just to ask, and he also knew, to his great embarrassment, that the question was justified. Hajime had made it to class on time by the skin of his teeth, and he'd been out of breath from running all the way from the student council room. His breathlessness and near tardiness had attracted Kazuma's attention, but as class was starting, there had been no time for Hajime to do anything but join in.

Things had only gone downhill from there. In spite of the fact he'd been taking karate since he was five and had earned the black belt he wore, he couldn't seem to concentrate that day; all he could think about was the mess he'd left back in the student council room for Mutsuki to clean up, and the way he'd somehow allowed himself to get so preoccupied that he'd managed to forget karate, which he'd been attending on Tuesdays after school for almost three years.

Not that anyone would have believed that today, seeing how his movements were sloppy and everything was out of sync. He had floundered his way through the basic skill drills and made two horrible passes through the kata before Kazuma had pulled him out...and it was probably just as well.

Hajime resisted the urge to hang his head.

"No, Grandpa, it's not. There's nothing specific," he said quickly, seeing the look of concern suddenly appear on Kazuma's face, "I just...I just can't seem to concentrate today. I'm sorry."

Kazuma looked at him for a long moment, then sighed.

"Well, while I'm glad there's nothing serious, Hajime, I think it would be best if you bowed out for the rest of class. I'm not comfortable with your awareness, and if you can't focus on something as straightforward as kata, then I can't risk having you spar today."

Hajime flushed. He'd never been pulled from a class before...but he also couldn't argue with Kazuma's reasoning. It would be too easy for Hajime to either hurt someone or hurt himself right then, and either of those things would be devastating.

"I understand, Grandpa, and I'm sorry," Hajime repeated, casting his eyes downward. "I'll do better next time."

"I'm sure you will," Kazuma said, studying Hajime. Then he asked gently, "Is there anything you'd perhaps like to talk about with me, Hajime? I truly don't mean to pry, but you've seemed preoccupied for some time now. You know you can always talk to me about anything, and it will be completely confidential," he said with a smile.

Hajime tried to return the smile.

"Thanks, Grandpa, but it's nothing. There's nothing, just...life," he said, sighing.

"Sometimes even 'life' can benefit from a good discussion."

"I'm good, but thanks. I guess I'm just going to go, then," Hajime said, glancing out at the room full of karatekas. "We still on for dinner on Saturday?"

"Of course. And Hajime, if you change your mind-" Kazuma began, as Hajime started for the door.

"-I know, Grandpa. And thanks."

By the time Hajime had showered and changed back into his regular clothes, a little more than an hour had passed since he'd left the school. And as he walked out of the dojo, he called Mutsuki.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be kata-ing-or punching someone or sitting still and trying not to move right now?"

"Ha ha, Mutsuki. But yes, I'm supposed to be in karate class right now." He took a breath. "Grandpa kicked me out."

"Kicked you out?" The surprise in Mutsuki's voice was obvious, and Hajime grimaced.

"Yes, and I deserved it. I couldn't stop spacing out, and I was being a liability."

"Couldn't stop thinking about me, hmm?"

Hajime flushed, and a smile crossed his face in spite of himself.

"More like the mess I left you to deal with, but close enough. I thought I'd check and see if you could use some help."

There was a silence, and Hajime could imagine Mutsuki's thoughtful expression as he looked around the room.

"No, I don't think so. I've made very good progress, and by the time you've gotten all the way back here, there wouldn't be enough left to justify me explaining my system."

"Wow, you have a system?"

Hajime was impressed; usually Mutsuki was more the 'flying by the seat of his pants' type.

"Yes, I do. And it's impossibly brilliant and I know you'd be incredibly impressed, but it would take far too long to explain it just now."

"Well, you'll have to tell me about it when you get home."

"Don't worry, I will, and I'll be expecting you to shower me with praise."

Hajime laughed at that. "If you get everything picked up and put away, you'll have earned it."

"I'm holding you to that."

"See you when you get home, Mutsuki."

"Katsudon would be great for supper tonight, if you're taking suggestions."

"I'll swing by the store on my way home."

As he hung up the phone, Hajime looked up at the sky and smiled; today might not have gone according to plan, but...

At least he could look forward to katsudon with Mutsuki.

Mutsuki made it home not too long after Hajime had started cooking, and he wandered into the kitchen with a bright smile.

"Anything I can do to help, Chef?"

"Yes, you can go get changed and stay out of the way," Hajime told him. "You don't need to be anywhere near anything frying, I like you unburned."

Mutsuki laughed, craning his head around Hajime to look at the two breaded pork cutlets waiting for the oil to get to temperature.

"You know, I've heard that frying is supposed to be one of the easiest cooking techniques to learn, since it's so fast! If you let me give it a try, I might surprise you."

"Or you might burn the main part of our dinner and leave us with eggs and noodles."

"I'm never going to get better if you don't let me try once in a while, you know," Mutsuki said reproachfully as he undid his necktie.

"You mean like lunchtime, two days ago?" Hajime said, giving Mutsuki an amused look, and Mutsuki promptly protested.

"That didn't count! You only let me do the rice!"

"Yes, and you burned it. In a rice cooker."

Mutsuki sighed and turned away. "Fine. Since you're so bound and determined to shut me out, I'll just go change. But if you get overwhelmed by the cooking process, you only have but to ask, and I'll assist," he said in a magnanimous tone, and Hajime snorted as he called after him,

"If I get overwhelmed, we're ordering takeout!"

"This is good, Hajime," Mutsuki said approvingly, looking up from his katsudon with a smile. "The guy who suggested we have this really knew what he was talking about, don't you think?"

Hajime chuckled over his own bowl. "He definitely had a good idea, yeah. And he earned any satisfaction he gets from it, too," Hajime continued, grimacing slightly as he thought about the mess in the student council room.

"I already told you, that was no problem," Mutsuki said, taking another bite. "I got everything cleaned up, and it looks absolutely beautiful! So beautiful, in fact, that it's a pity I can't share the story with anyone else, because I know they'd never believe I did it, otherwise."

Hajime had seen the picture of the clean room and the neatly restored record shelf, and he had to admit that Mutsuki was right.

It did look great, almost surprisingly great.

"Seriously. So does this mean you're going to start keeping your room clean?" Hajime asked him, a teasing smile on his lips. "Or even just your student council desk?"

Mutsuki gave him a chuckle. "Let's not get too crazy, Hajime. I only have so much energy to spend cleaning in a year, and I'm pretty sure I used most of it today."

Hajime smiled again, then looked across the table at Kinu's empty place.

"Was tonight a night Kinu had a late lecture?"

Mutsuki thought for a moment. "It's Tuesday?"

"Yes," Hajime said, almost painfully aware at that point that it was, in fact, Tuesday.

"Wasn't tomorrow her free day, the one she and Pika were planning?"

"Oh yes, that's right. Guess it's just us here until tomorrow afternoon then," Hajime said, unable to stop the smile that spread across his face at the statement. Considering how busy the house could usually be, with Kinu, other Sohmas, friends of Kinu's, and friends of theirs, Hajime could practically count the number of times that entire school year so far they'd been alone on one hand.

But to his surprise, Mutsuki didn't return his smile, or really react at all, other than to thoughtfully remark. "Hmm, I guess you're right."

Then he did smile, and Hajime's hopes raised as he said, "I guess we both know what this means," only to crash to the ground as he continued, "even you won't be able to complain about the noise level for homework tonight."

As the evening progressed, Hajime was increasingly bewildered by Mutsuki's behavior. Considering what they’d been doing in the student council room, he'd been somewhat hopeful they'd be able to pick that up later. The fact that Kinu was out that night had made him confident they'd pick that up later. But from the way Mutsuki was acting, Hajime could almost have imagined that Hajime's own mother was sitting there watching them.

As they'd cleaned up the kitchen and done the dishes together, Mutsuki had mostly been acting like his regular self, at least when it came to the talking and teasing. But he'd also held himself almost rigidly upright and away from Hajime, nonchalantly leaning away whenever Hajime was about to brush against him and shifting if it looked like their bodies were about to touch at all.

Things were even more confusing when they went up to do their homework, Mutsuki practically racing up the stairs ahead of Hajime so there was no touching or lingering on the way. And while Mutsuki came into Hajime's room like always, he planted himself further away than usual, out of reach of even Hajime's foot.

Hajime tried to push his feelings of rejected confusion out of his mind. Kinu might not have class the next day, but she was in university; high school was very much in session the next day, and that meant that Hajime needed to do his homework.

If only he could concentrate on it.

Instead, he kept glancing over at Mutsuki, telling himself he was trying to figure out why Mutsuki was being so aloof all of a sudden and not just staring at him, thinking thoughts that almost made Hajime himself blush. He definitely wasn't thinking about things he'd infinitely rather be doing, while they were in his room with no one else in the house to hear.

But Mutsuki seemed cheerfully oblivious to both Hajime's thoughts and Hajime's scrutiny, simply humming to himself as he made his way through his homework with periodic lighthearted asides.

And after reading the same passage in his Japanese homework for the fifth time without remembering anything, Hajime couldn't take it anymore.

"Mutsuki, what is it?"

Mutsuki looked up at Hajime, eyes wide with curiosity. "Hmm?"

Hajime set down his book with a frown. "You. You're acting weird. Why?"

Mutsuki stared at Hajime for a moment, then chuckled, shaking his head.

"So...you're asking me what's wrong? You," he emphasized, "are asking me to tell you something?"

When he put it that way, it sounded almost accusatory, even though Mutsuki's expression was playful. And Hajime promptly became defensive.

"Well, yes. You're such a proponent of talking about things, I thought you maybe...wanted to talk." He eyed his boyfriend for a moment, then said nervously, "You'd tell me if I did something, right?"

Mutsuki was looking at Hajime thoughtfully, then he sighed.

"We don't have to talk about this right now, Hajime. It can wait until after we're done with our homework."

"You mean this homework?" Hajime held up his Japanese homework, revealing a nearly blank page. "If you want to finish, that's fine, but I'm not going to be able to get anything done until I know what I did to make you pissed at me."

"Who said anything about me being pissed at you?" Mutsuki asked in surprise, pushing himself up to a sitting position.

"Aren't you? You've been staying away from me ever since you got home from school, seems pretty pissed to me."

"I'm not pissed, Hajime," Mutsuki said patiently, looking over at Hajime. "Not exactly. But today, when I was picking up all those papers at the student council office, I had time to do some thinking.

Hajime immediately stiffened, and he looked over at Mutsuki warily, taking off his glasses.

Was there ever a time when hearing that one's significant other had been 'thinking' was good?

"Thinking?" Hajime said, unable to keep the nerves from his voice, and Mutsuki nodded.

"We don't have to talk about it right this second, Hajime," he repeated, but Hajime was shaking his head.

"No, you can't just leave it there. Homework can wait," Hajime said shortly, setting his glasses on his books and pushing them aside. "This?" he said, gesturing between himself and Mutsuki, "Can't. Now," he said, trying to sound less panicked than he felt, "you were thinking?"

Mutsuki nodded. "I was. About us, and about how things have been. And I decided..." he said, taking a deep breath, "That I don't want to keep doing things this way."

Hajime felt like a knife had gone straight through his heart, like he was fighting to breathe.

"You...are you..."

"I don't want to break up," Mutsuki said, and Hajime immediately let out a relieved exhale, "But Hajime...I don't want to this to be the way things are between us, the way we've been."

While it was a relief knowing that Mutsuki didn't want to end their relationship, Hajime was still wary.

The way they'd been?

"I don't want to be your dirty little stress ball, Hajime," Mutsuki said quietly, and Hajime promptly turned crimson. "I don't want us to be something shameful and embarrassing, or me to be something you just…use."

Hajime was staring down at the floor, trying not to let the feelings of guilt overwhelm him at Mutsuki's quiet, serious words.

Was that what he'd been doing? Using him?

"I love you, Hajime," Mutsuki said softly, and Hajime's eyes shot back up to his. "And I want to help you deal with your problems. I've always wanted to help you with your problems, even before we were 'us,'" he said, gesturing between them with a little smile. "But I want to help you deal with them, not push them aside or bury them or whatever else it is you've been trying to do for the past few months."

"Months?" Hajime started to protest, but Mutsuki's rejoinder was swift.

"Yes, months. Since this summer, right? That's when whatever it is started, since you started getting into your head?"

Hajime didn't have a response for that, and Mutsuki said, "I've told you, I know you, Hajime, better than almost anyone. That's not conceit," he said, flashing him a grin, "That's fact. And I can tell when things are bugging you, especially when it's something that's been going on for so long. Even when I don't know why."

Hajime was quiet again, and Mutsuki's grin faded, too.

"You know I love it when we do things together," Mutsuki said, a hint of that sparkle flashing in his smile before he got serious again. "But not like this. Not because you're upset and you're trying to burn off frustration or upset or stress. Once in a while? Sure. Constantly? No." Mutsuki shook his head, then said softly, "I deserve better than that."

Hajime was staring at the floor, his face burning. Hearing it spelled out so baldly, he was disgusted with himself.

When had he become that person, one who treated someone he loved so poorly?

Who had treated Mutsuki like an object?

No wonder Mutsuki didn't want Hajime to touch him.

Hajime could barely speak, and his eyes remained downcast as they filled with tears.

"I'm so sorry, Mutsuki."

He felt sick. How could Mutsuki even stand to look at him right then, much less talk to him or be in the same room as him?

What was wrong with him?

Hajime sniffled, then suddenly he felt a cool hand on his cheek and looked up to see Mutsuki had scooted right beside him.

"It's not just on you, Hajime. I always agreed, after all," Mutsuki said with a little laugh. "You're incredibly hard to turn down!"

Hajime knew that was meant to be a compliment, but it just made him feel even worse.

Just how much pressure had Mutsuki felt to say 'yes?'

"But I don't want to do that anymore," Mutsuki repeated. "I want to talk your problems out, Hajime, not fuck them out."

Hearing Mutsuki curse so casually made Hajime laugh in spite of himself, and he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Too crude?" Mutsuki asked, and Hajime laughed again. Then Mutsuki smiled.

"I mean it, Hajime. I know you've been telling everyone nothing's bugging you, that you're not stressed, that you're not doing too much, you're not, you're not, you're not. But you are lying," he said sternly, looking squarely into Hajime's eyes. "I'm not going to get into the ethics of lying to your parents or your grandpa or our friends, but I am going to tell you that lying to your boyfriend is immoral and also a really stupid idea," he said, looking so serious that Hajime laughed again.

"You kind of suck at motivational speaking, did you know that, Mutsuki?"

Mutsuki shrugged. "Eh, they can't all be winners. The point is," he said, gently caressing Hajime's cheek, "I know something’s been bothering you, a lot, for a long time. And I want to know what it is, so I can help you deal with it properly."

Hajime was quiet for a very long time, simply sitting with his cheek tilted into Mutsuki's hand. For being so delicate, Mutsuki's hands had always been incredibly strong.

In body, mind, and spirit, Mutsuki had always been the strong one.

Chapter Text

After a while, Mutsuki finally broke the silence.

"So, are you actually going to tell me now, or...?"

Hajime jerked away from Mutsuki's hand and gave him an incredulous look.

"Seriously? Just like that? Right now?"

Mutsuki blinked at him. "Of course right now! I just told you I wanted you to, didn't I? With a whole bunch of good reasons?"

Mutsuki's expression and tone were so matter-of-fact that once again Hajime had to laugh.

"You're such a weirdo, Mutsuki," Hajime said, his expression affectionate as he looked at his boyfriend. But then he sighed, once again staring down at his hands.

After studying him for a little while, Mutsuki said quietly, "Whatever it is, I'm not going to judge you, Hajime. You know that, right?"

Knew that? No. Hoped that?

Very, very much.

Hajime was still looking down when he asked, his voice hesitant,

"Mutsuki...how did it go...when you told your parents you weren't straight?"

It was something Hajime had always known about himself, deep down inside. Something he'd realized at an early age, but had shied away from, not wanting to admit even to himself.

It had been a phase. Something he'd grow out of, the more he actually grew and matured. Kids were weird, after all, and the years around puberty were the weirdest of all.

It was curiosity, that was all. Making comparisons. He was a physical guy who'd always been in sports, it made sense he'd appreciate a good physique. His appreciation of other guys was just respect for fellow athletes, fellow guys going through the same changes he was.

There was no way it had meant anything more.

He had been popular, and he'd grown up with friends of both sexes. Friends he'd known since they were all kids, friends he met later on in middle school. Friends whose bodies had shot up alongside his, changing from short, pudgy children into well-developed teens.

Boys got taller; girls got curvier. Things started changing, and covert glances became the norm, followed by overt.

Hajime hadn't been so blinded by modesty that he hadn't seen girls checking him out, too, even girls he'd known since he was in daycare.

He knew what it meant to be flirted with. It had always made him wildly uncomfortable, but he had laughed, and rolled with it. Sometimes he'd even teased back, trying to play the part that everyone, himself included, expected from him. Tried to convince himself that if he just tried harder, he would feel something.

That he could look around at all the girls, or any of the girls, and feel something, the way a boy like him should.

Instead, it was as if the more determined he was to convince himself he was 'normal,' the more stubbornly his body and mind refused to cooperate. He couldn't do it; even the prettiest girls with what his friend group agreed were the most attractive figures did nothing for him. He could appreciate their beauty in the same way he appreciated the beauty in a sunset, or in his mother's flower gardens, but that was all.

Meanwhile, he couldn't help but notice other things; his teammates on the basketball team, his fellow karatekas. Admiration he had tried so desperately tried to convince himself was purely disinterested became something terrifying.

He accepted the teasing he got for always showering alone after practice or games, never lifting his gaze from the floor. He shrugged and laughed good-naturedly at the jokes about his alleged modesty, feeling that the teasing was a more than fair exchange for his peace of mind. And he tried and failed to not be too disgusted with himself, tried not to angrily wonder what was wrong with him.

No one, as far as he'd known, had ever guessed.

He had tried.

He had watched girls with his friends, and he had laughed at their comments. He had agreed that certain girls were cute, or hot, and he'd awkwardly chuckled and accepted teasing when girls would openly admire him in turn.

It had been flattering, if nothing else. He knew he should be grateful to be found so attractive, and not just because of his body.

People liked him. People had always liked him.

Why would pubescent girls be any different?

But going out on dates had felt wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.

He had gone through the motions, trying to tell himself that he just wasn't doing it right. He just wasn't focusing hard on enough on the right things; on the personality, not the body.

When his long-time friend Rina had asked him out his second year of middle school, he'd been surprised, then almost pathetically grateful. He'd known her since first grade; he knew what a great person she was. She wasn't some random, generic girl, she was Rina, who he had so much in common with, who he'd always had fun with.

Maybe that was what he'd been doing wrong the entire time, not trying to date girls he was properly friends with first.

His parents had been friends first, after all.

Hajime and Rina had gone on a handful of dates, and he'd had fun.

Because she was his friend, and they'd always had fun together. Going on dates was just an extension of that fun.

But that was all.

When she went in to kiss him after their third date, he'd panicked internally, but let her. And as simple and chaste as that kiss had been, it made him feel almost as wrong as if he'd just kissed his mother.

Telling Rina that things had been fun, but he thought they were better off as friends, was the most honest thing he said their entire brief 'relationship.' It had still been hard, though, and her expression as she’d tried to laugh the whole thing off, tried to tell him that that was fine, that she really saw him as more of a brother anyway...that expression had haunted him, for a long time to follow.

Both of them were lying, and both of them were lying because of him.

After Rina, he had stopped 'dating.' He just wasn't ready, he had told himself. Yes, he'd hit puberty early, and yes, he was pretty much fully developed by his final year of middle school, but that didn't mean he was ready.

He might just be an emotional late bloomer.

Or so he had told himself, with an almost desperate intensity as time had dragged on.

He was just developing out of order, that’s all. There were perfectly logical reasons for everything that was happening, and everything that wasn't happening, perfectly logical reasons that would ultimately explain why he was 'normal.'

Because of course he was 'normal.'

This wasn't the way any of this was supposed to happen.

He looked at his parents, and he saw his ideal. Looking back over the course of Hajime's whole life, love had been one of the strongest constants. The love his parents had for him. The love they had for his siblings.

And the love they'd always had for each other.

It had been impossibly embarrassing, back when he was younger. The way his mom and dad would look at each other, their eyes shining. The way they would hold each other, or would kiss each other. The way they would always snuggle up together on the couch, the way they'd always hold hands when they were out walking together. Even without PDA, his parents' love had been obvious, and as he'd gotten older he'd been even more embarrassed to accept that that love was probably pretty physical, if their constant touching was any indication.

Learning about the Curse the New Year's Eve before he'd started high school had been illuminating in multiple ways. It had told him so much about his father, yes, but also a great deal about his mom. And about their relationship.

How much they'd loved each other, all the way back in high school. And how far his mom had been willing to go, for that love.

Their love had been saccharine sweet, and deeply embarrassing. But Hajime had nonetheless admired it, and nonetheless looked to it as the model of what he hoped, someday, to maybe have for himself.

He just had to find the right girl.

He'd been so blind. Years he'd spent fighting it, years he'd spent denying who he truly was. Years he'd spent, desperately trying to convince himself that it was all wrong.

Because he'd been so very afraid. And as long as that fear controlled him...he would never truly be able to accept himself, and never be able to start moving forward.

Hajime had known Mutsuki since he was six months old, the day Mutsuki was born and Hajime's parents had video-chatted with Mutsuki's to coo over the newborn and 'introduce the babies.'

He was pretty sure that had been his mom's idea.

And as they grew up, in spite of the distance between them, they were close.

They had always been close.

When they had been kids, Hajime had been curious about the closeness between his parents and Mutsuki's. Tohru had explained that they'd lived together in high school, but that had meant nothing to the children, curious as to why they always got together whenever Hajime's family was in Tokyo. Even if they had to miss seeing other Sohmas, they always saw Mutsuki's family.

Hajime hadn't minded. He'd always loved playing with Mutsuki, always loved talking to Mutsuki. Mutsuki sometimes drove him crazy, but he also made him laugh like nobody else, and always made him smile through even his grumpiest moods. Sometimes they'd teased each other, sometimes they had fought, but no fights had ever lasted long, and no negative feelings had ever lasted. They were very different people, but they’d always just…clicked.

They had always been the best of friends.

When Hajime moved to Tokyo for high school, he had been nervous about settling into his new world, but he needn't have worried. Although he knew hardly anyone else at Kaibara High to start with, he quickly found his footing, and quickly made new friends.

But he never lost his old ones.

Even though they went to different schools that first year, Hajime and Mutsuki were often together. Mutsuki was a regular visitor at the dojo, and Hajime an accepted presence at Yuki and Machi's house; both boys had an open invitation to the other's home. And they had taken full advantage that year, whether it was Hajime lounging on the couch in Mutsuki's living room watching tv or Mutsuki sprawled on the floor of Hajime's bedroom doing homework.

Somehow, over time, it simply became accepted: where one would be, often, the other would be, too.

Hajime had had a plan, when he came to Tokyo. He had wanted to go to Kaibara High to walk in his parents' footsteps, to experience the places that had brought them together. To see more of the world than sleepy Hibe or little Nigeyashi could offer.

To find himself.

When he had suggested to Hatori's daughter Kinu that the two of them see if they could live in Shigure's old house, he had been hopeful, but admittedly nervous. Kinu would only be eighteen and a first-year university student; Hajime would be sixteen and a second year in high school. It would be a lot of responsibility for the two of them to take on a house, and Hajime had fully expected there would be some pushback. But he was determined to do his best to make it happen, to try to live in that house where his parents had met and eventually fallen in love.

He had not expected that Mutsuki would want to live there, too...and that fact had terrified him.

When, exactly, had Hajime started to look at Mutsuki and seen someone other than a friend? When had he started to look at him and notice things, like the way Mutsuki's whole face lit up when he smiled? The way his hair always looked like he'd just rolled out of bed, no matter how much he brushed it? When had he started to notice Mutsuki's long, elegant fingers, and the way he'd rest his cheek against them when he was thinking? The graceful way he would always coil and uncoil himself when he was sitting down or getting up from the floor?

When had he started to look at Mutsuki...and think he was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen?

It had terrified him. Feeling those feelings for other boys had been bad enough when they were schoolmates, or teammates. Feeling them for his friends back in Hibe had been worse.

But feeling himself attracted to Mutsuki had been the worst of all, something that filled him with horror and disgust. This was his best friend, a person who'd been in his life since the very beginning. A person who was bound to him by family and time, a person who he'd always been able to count on.

Someone who would always, in some capacity, be in his life.

How could he live with himself if he let his feelings...his foolish, repulsive, unnatural feelings, destroy what they had?

He had tried to pull away.

He hadn’t tried hard enough.

Even though he knew it was wrong, he couldn’t keep his distance.

There had been no way to keep Mutsuki out of the house; Mutsuki had always been a force of nature unto himself. And when permission had been granted for them to move in, it was Kinu, Hajime, and Mutsuki who had moved together into the old house up on the hill.

Hajime had settled into the room that had once belonged to his father, and watching his dad's face as Kyo had walked around the room, taking the sight of Hajime's things in that old familiar space, had been emotional for both of them. But it wasn't long before the room ceased to be 'Dad's' and simply became 'Hajime's', just across the hall from the room belonging to his absolute best friend.

The person who had always been his best friend.

The person he wanted to always stay his best friend, forever.

No matter what.

It had been a humid August evening Hajime's second year of high school. They'd been living in Shigure's old house together for five months then, Hajime, Mutsuki, and Kinu, and life had settled into a pleasant routine. Hajime sometimes missed the dojo and his companionable evenings with Kazuma and Kunimitsu, but there had been a beautiful freedom in having 'his own' place, even if he shared it with two other people and had to deal with periodic random drop-ins from people like Kinu's dad, Hatori.

Homework had become one of their routines, slipped into as easily as a pair of worn-in shoes. Hajime couldn't say when that routine had become special; when he'd found himself looking forward to the time after supper when he and Mutsuki would head upstairs together, Mutsuki would go fetch his books, and they would work side by side. Sometimes Mutsuki would tease Hajime about the reading glasses he'd started wearing his last year of middle school; sometimes Hajime would tease Mutsuki about how easy it had to be dealing with only first-year homework. Sometimes they'd sit in companionable silence. Sometimes they would talk.

And sometimes, in spite of his best efforts, Hajime's eyes would sneak over to Mutsuki while they worked, noticing how slender and well-proportioned Mutsuki was, and how graceful he always managed to look even when he was lying on the floor, his head propped up in one hand and his crossed ankles swinging up in the air. Every movement Mutsuki made had always seemed so effortless, so beautiful without him even trying.

Sometimes, those feelings would make Hajime sick.

Summer vacation was halfway over that warm August night, and Hajime and Mutsuki were sitting on Hajime's bedroom floor, doing their summer homework together. The same comfortable routine, the same familiar pattern; the same way they'd been doing things since they'd first moved in.

"What would you say if I kissed you?"

The question had come out of nowhere, and Hajime had been so startled he'd actually dropped his book. He couldn't have heard correctly, and it spoke to how twisted his consciousness was that that was what he'd imagined.

He was blushing regardless, though, and he was barely able to look at Mutsuki as he gruffly asked,

"What was that?"

Mutsuki was sitting beside him, thoughtful eyes fixed on Hajime's face. That attention only made Hajime blush even harder, but Mutsuki remained as composed as ever as he repeated,

"What would you say if I kissed you?"

Hajime hadn't known what to do, or say, or think. Mutsuki was always fooling around; that had to be one of his jokes. Even if Hajime had heard him correctly, there was no way he meant it, not for real, anyway.

He was just messing with Hajime...somehow.

But it was still impossibly hard to stay calm, or even act like it.

"Wha-why would you ask something like that?" he'd finally managed to stammer, and, as expected, Mutsuki had laughed.

Was it all just a warped joke?

Except Mutsuki hadn't stopped at the laugh. Yes, he had laughed...but then he'd also smiled. That loveable, obnoxious, beautiful Mutsuki smile, the one that was laughing and teasing, playful and sweet all at once. And he'd smiled that smile as he’d looked at Hajime and said,

"Because I want to kiss you. And I'm pretty sure you want to kiss me, too."

Hajime's face had been absolutely burning red, and he'd been immobilized into a lump with his heart pounding in his chest. He hadn't known what to do; every choice he could make seemed like it could only end in disaster. So he'd just sat there, staring and wide-eyed, as Mutsuki had scooted closer and brought his face to Hajime's.

"You can also say 'no,'" Mutsuki had informed him, his lips hovering so close to Hajime's own that he could feel every word as much as he could hear them. And Hajime knew that if he said 'no,' Mutsuki would pull away...

He also knew that his saying 'no' was never at all in question.

The moment Mutsuki's lips had touched his had been electrifying, as though a thousand sparks had shot between them to the center of Hajime's being. It wasn't his first kiss, or his second, either, but it was the first one that actually did something.

And in that moment, with blinding, aching clarity, Hajime knew.

Hajime had still been blushing when Mutsuki had pulled back, and once again Hajime felt himself laid bare by Mutsuki's gaze. Then Mutsuki had smiled once more, that time his smile almost devilish.

"I was riiiiiiiight," he’d said, his voice a singsong, and in spite of his nerves Hajime had had to smile, too as he said, his voice still gruff,

"Shut up, Mutsuki."

They hadn't talked about it, that first night. Hajime had hoped Mutsuki would, but after laughing at Hajime's comment, Mutsuki had returned to his homework. And Hajime had stared at him in bewilderment, but much as he’d wanted to ask about what just happened, he couldn't find the words.

So instead, he'd picked up his own fallen textbook, adjusted his glasses, and tried to focus on Japanese history, wondering at the same time what, exactly, had just happened.

The next day, Hajime had felt like a basket of nerves, but Mutsuki had acted almost infuriatingly normal. In the end, Hajime had taken himself to his room, claiming not to feel well after Kinu asked him for the second time if he was ok.

And as far as Hajime was concerned, he wasn't lying. He didn't feel well, not knowing what to make of the prior night’s kiss. Not knowing where things stood then between himself and Mutsuki. Yes, Mutsuki had technically kissed him, but that didn't mean it meant anything, other than apparently Mutsuki liked to kiss guys.

He'd been lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, when there had been a gentle knock on the door. But Hajime had had no time to respond before the door had opened and Mutsuki had stuck his head in, the mere sight of him causing Hajime to flush.

"You're supposed to wait for an answer when you knock," Hajime had finally said, his voice once again gruff. And once again, Mutsuki hadn't seemed the least bit bothered.

"If I waited for an answer, you might say 'no,' he said, walking into the room and perching on the edge of Hajime's bed.

"I'm allowed to say 'no,'" Hajime had said, then flushed more, the words immediately bringing to mind what Mutsuki had said the previous night.

Mutsuki had smiled, too.

"But you didn't, did you?" he asked, and Hajime shoved himself up into a sitting position.

"Look, Mutsuki, about..." Hajime trailed off, his face still bright red. He had wanted to talk about it, to figure out just how things were.

To figure out what things were. But words were surprisingly hard.

"Last night, when you...why did you...when you..."

Was it even possible for him to sound less mature?

Mutsuki had chuckled, leaning back on his arms.

"I told you already! I wanted to, and I thought you did too. And I was right," he said, giving Hajime that maddening grin of his.

Just what was it about Mutsuki that made Hajime want to kiss him and punch him at the same time? Had he always felt that way, about the boy he'd always called his best friend?

Mutsuki was still grinning at Hajime as he scooted closer.

"Would you like me to kiss you again?"

Hajime's response had been rapid and explosive, his expression defensive.

"No!"

Mutsuki had considered for a second, looking at Hajime's red, embarrassed face and stiff body language, then asked much less teasingly, "Really?"

The question had been met with silence as Hajime had sat there, staring at Mutsuki and trying to make sense out of what was happening. If it was all a joke, an experiment, or some kind of weird game, then Hajime hadn't wanted any part of it.

But at the same time...

"No," Hajime said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not really."

Mutsuki had smiled. "I thought so."

Then he reached out, gently stroking the tips of his fingers down Hajime's cheek. Hajime had shuddered at the light touch, and shivered as that hand had moved to cup his face. Then Mutsuki leaned close once more, their lips connecting with that same electric shock.

That time, Mutsuki hadn't said anything when he sat back again, simply looked at Hajime with that bright Mutsuki smile. It had been Hajime who'd finally worked up the nerve to speak, his blush red and all-consuming.

"Why...did you want to do that?" he asked, looking at one of Mutsuki's ears because he couldn't handle looking at his face just then. And yet again, he'd been laughed at.

"Isn't it obvious, Hajime?"

Once again, Hajime was defensive. "No, it's not! If it was, I wouldn't have to ask!"

Mutsuki had considered that for a moment, then grinned.

"You're so smart, but you can be really stupid sometimes, did you know that?"

"Mutsuki..." Hajime started to growl, then he blinked as Mutsuki reached out and pressed his finger over Hajime's lips.

"None of that. No growling, you, especially not when it's your fault I'm saying something so obvious."

Hajime's eyes narrowed, but he hadn't said anything; it had been admittedly hard to focus on being annoyed when Mutsuki's finger had been touching his mouth.

"But I can spell it out for you, if you want," Mutsuki continued, and gave Hajime that dazzling smile. "Because I love you, Hajime...and I've loved you for a very long time."

To the rest of the world, they'd gone on as they were: close friends. Best friends. With effort, Hajime had managed to stop blushing around Mutsuki after only a couple weeks, so by the time school started again, no one was any the wiser.

They still joked, and they still teased. They still walked to and from school together, most days. Hajime still got annoyed at Mutsuki on a regular basis, and Mutsuki still delighted in provoking him in public.

They didn't say anything, to anyone.

But behind closed doors, when it was just the two of them, they'd let themselves be free. Mutsuki would read with his head pillowed on Hajime's thigh; Hajime would idly rub Mutsuki's shoulders or play with his hair while he was puzzling out homework problems. Mutsuki would still tease Hajime about his reading glasses, but in the context of how cute they were. And Hajime would still tell Mutsuki to shut up, right before kissing him.

It wasn't perfect, but it worked. And as more time passed, they got more comfortable, and things progressed. Hajime could hear the word 'boyfriend' without blushing. Touches became bolder, and more confident.

And then, once more...Hajime became afraid.

It was because of him, all of it: the secrecy, and the silence. Mutsuki had told Hajime early on in their relationship that he would do whatever Hajime wanted, but as far as Mutsuki was concerned, the two of them were in love, and he didn't care who knew they were together. He wanted people to know the two of them were together.

'You're such an amazing person, Hajime...why wouldn't I want people to know you're mine?'

And that had been a wonderful thought. To be open about who they were...to hold hands in public. To maybe not have to deal with the awkward sensation of being hit on anymore.

To just...acknowledge it.

And Hajime had wanted, desperately, to be ok with that. But he couldn't; he couldn't tell anyone, couldn't let anyone else know.

Not until he had told his parents all of it.

And that idea was terrifying, too.

They loved him. He'd always known they loved him, to an almost embarrassing degree. All his life, Hajime had lived surrounded by love, hearing, as well as feeling, just how much his parents adored him. How much they wanted him to be happy, and always had.

They hadn't been perfect; no parents were. But they had done their best, and their best had been pretty damn good. Their best had let Hajime grow up feeling confident that whatever else might change in his life, his parents and their love would always be constant.

He didn't have to be perfect. He could mess up. He could choose a different path for himself than they had, and that was ok. He might be their son, but he was his own person, and they wanted him to embrace that.

But it was deeply ironic that only a year and a half after Hajime had stood before his father, tearfully begging Kyo to tell him what he'd always been hiding and telling him nothing would change how much Hajime loved him, he himself was too crippled by fear to do the same.

Mutsuki had been patient and understanding, and he had tried to help Hajime work through his concerns. He pointed out how stupidly close Hajime's family was and how there was no way they'd ever be anything but supportive. And Hajime had wanted to believe that...but he couldn't. Even when logic was on Mutsuki’s side.

The stakes were too high. If Mutsuki was wrong, if Hajime’s parents...couldn't, then where did that leave him?

Where did that leave them?

He knew he was likely being irrational. Uncle Momiji had a husband, after all, and both his parents liked them. Loved them, even.

They clearly weren't bigots, not that he thought they would be.

But Uncle Momiji wasn't close enough. As much as he knew his parents loved Momiji and Hans, they lived far away, and they were friends, not their children. It was easy to accept things at a distance that might not be so acceptable up close.

Hajime needed to know for certain, needed to hear from someone who could relate to Hajime's position.

Someone who could assure Hajime that in the end, everything would be ok.

'Grandpa...have you ever...did you ever... Did you ever...when you... Was there ever...a time...when you had to tell Dad...that you were different?'

Few things in Hajime's life had been as difficult as saying those words. He'd stumbled over them, stumbled and stammered. He couldn't bring himself to look up into Kazuma's eyes, or even to lift his head. In saying those words, he’d felt as though he were cutting himself open and exposing his very soul to Kazuma...while simultaneously looking into Kazuma's own.

Kazuma's response had rocked him to the core.

'No. I've never told your father...anything like that.'

Hajime hadn't known how to respond. He'd been surprised, then shocked.

Then terrified.

He'd made a mistake. It had been a mistake, going to Kazuma and asking him. A mistake to think that Kazuma could help him.

A mistake to think that any of it would be that easy.

He'd fled back to the house on the hill, back to the safety of his room with its closed and locked door. Back to where he could hold Mutsuki, and where he could kiss Mutsuki, and not have to worry about anyone else knowing.

His visit to Kazuma had happened three months after that warm August night when Mutsuki first kissed him, and that had been the last time any words on the subject had passed between Hajime and anyone other than Mutsuki himself.

Time continued to flow by; New Year's came and went, and they found themselves gearing up for the end of the school year. To Hajime's complete shock, he’d ended up chosen as the student council president for his final year at Kaibara High...with Mutsuki appointed to be his vice president.

Because of course he was.

Suddenly, they were spending more time together at school than ever before. Hajime had initially felt out of his depth with the presidency; he hated feeling like the center of attention, and suddenly there wasn't a single student at Kaibara High who didn't know exactly who he was. And he worried that he wouldn't be good enough, that he wouldn't be able to keep everything together.

But he'd never backed down from responsibility, and he threw himself into the job with the same fierce focus he'd always thrown into every task his entire life. He'd accepted the presidency; he would fulfill its responsibilities to the best of his abilities.

And he'd do it with Mutsuki at his side.

He couldn't say if Mutsuki had made things better or worse. Sometimes it felt like a bit of both; Mutsuki could be a total liability when it came to order and routine, but there was no one who could touch him when it came to asking for favors or manipulating people. He was the charm; Hajime was the drive. And with the rest of their student council, they had made it work.

But there had been no question that Hajime had stressed about it at first. It was easy to ignore their relationship when he and Mutsuki were on separate floors dealing with their separate school lives; it was another thing entirely to be thrown together so often on student council business, often in the little student council office. Mutsuki's stupid comments about Hajime being 'Papa' or 'Big Brother' had helped Hajime stay annoyed with him when he’d needed to, but that year, it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide...or to want to stay hidden.

He couldn't give in, though. Not yet.

Chapter Text

At Hajime's question, Mutsuki's eyes had widened, and he sat up straighter and looked at Hajime.

"That's what this is, what's been riling you up all this time? You've been stressing about-"

"-Will you just answer the question, Mutsuki, please?" Hajime cut in, his voice a tightly controlled growl. He didn't want to be talking about this at all, but if he had no choice, he wanted it to be on his terms.

Mutsuki went quiet, then looked at Hajime.

"Fine, but...we've talked about this before, you know. It's not like anything's changed."

"Yes, but I still want to hear it," Hajime said quietly.

Mutsuki nodded, then leaned back.

"It was just before I started middle school, so I was twelve. Dad had sat me down to give me 'the Talk,’" he said, laughing as he remembered the incredibly resolute and slightly pained expression on Yuki's face. "We'd gone over the physical stuff before, of course, but since I was going into middle school, Mom and Dad wanted to make sure I knew about things like relationships and safety and the importance of consent, all that good stuff. And Dad wanted me to know to respect if girls said no, but also for me to know that I could say no too, which was pretty nice to hear. He told me," Mutsuki said, a smile playing on his lips, "that it didn't matter if I was a boy, that girls could be predatory, too."

Hajime nodded. That was familiar; he'd heard the story before, and he'd also heard the context, about Yuki's issues with his fan club back when he was in school. It was because of Yuki that he and Mutsuki had agreed, during Mutsuki's first year of high school when the 'Sohma Fan Club' had appeared, not to tell any of their parents about it. As long as the Sohma fans behaved and didn't try to pull any of the things the cringe-worthy 'Prince Yuki Fan Club' had done, Hajime and Mutsuki would just try to ignore them.

It had worked so far…up to a point.

"And I told him not to worry," Mutsuki said with a smile, "I wasn't going to pressure or let anyone pressure me, girl or boy."

Hajime chuckled then, imagining how Yuki likely would have taken that: in stride, as Mutsuki being his usual dramatic self.

"So he nodded, and told me that was good, and asked if I had any questions. And after thinking about it for a little bit, I asked him if he and Mom would mind if I started dating. He told me they'd prefer if I waited longer, because middle school is a time of change and blah blah blah," Mutsuki said, waving a hand dismissively, "but that we could cross that bridge when we got to it, and if I did start dating, he hoped I'd be comfortable bringing her home to meet them. And I said, 'Or him.'"

Hajime was looking at Mutsuki fondly, affection and admiration both evident in his expression. Mutsuki was so easy and relaxed telling the story, and Hajime didn't doubt that Mutsuki had been easy and relaxed having the initial conversation, either. Mutsuki had always been so confident, so self-assured; he'd always known who he was, and hadn't been afraid to say it.

At a time when Hajime had been fighting to ignore or change his feelings, Mutsuki had owned his, proudly.

"Dad didn't really know what to say at first, but then repeated, 'or him.' Then he told me that whoever I ended up dating, he hoped that I'd give him and Mom the chance to get to meet them and love them, too."

Mutsuki smiled, reaching out and taking Hajime's hand. "And I agreed. I haven't done it yet, of course," he said teasingly, "but I think we can both agree that they're going to love you. Though that's kind of cheating, since they already do."

Hajime smiled, looking down at their hands.

"And that was just...it, huh?" It seemed so simple and straightforward; so very easy and obvious.

Almost too much so.

Mutsuki nodded. "Yes. Mom rather awkwardly asked me not too long after that if there were any people at school who'd caught my eye," he said, chuckling at the memory of how nonchalantly Machi had tried to stress 'people.' "But that was all. Otherwise...it's just been a non-issue."

"Well...that's good, I guess. I'm glad," Hajime said, and he meant it. He was glad for Mutsuki, and he was glad to know that about Yuki and Machi, who he'd always been close to.

But he wished that knowing that made things easier for him.

"So, now that we've covered that, I think it's your turn, Hajime," Mutsuki told him, his expression and his tone both gentle. "What's really been eating you?"

Hajime was quiet at first. It was hard not to feel embarrassed, discussing this with Mutsuki; Mutsuki was always so strong and confident, it made Hajime feel ridiculously juvenile and immature to be so afraid. Or worse, like Mutsuki might think he was ashamed of him, which Hajime could never be.

It was just...hard, to admit and especially to say.

But Hajime could also admit he owed Mutsuki the truth.

"So, this summer, when you guys were at the beach house?" he began, looking at Mutsuki, who was watching him expectantly, "I got a call from my mom. And it was a weird call," he said, remembering. "She sounded really perky at first, in that fake way she gets when she's upset about something but doesn't want anyone to know. Then she started asking me questions about my workload, and about time management, and asking if I was taking enough breaks-"

"-I bet you loved that," Mutsuki cut in, his eyes dancing, and Hajime rolled his.

If he could go one day without someone worrying about his workload...but that wasn't the issue just then.

"And then...she got really weird," Hajime continued. "She asked if I was taking enough time with friends, if I'd met anyone new this year...and then she told me I could tell her anything."

Mutsuki had straightened back up, and he was looking at Hajime intensely.

"What?"

Hajime nodded. "She said I could tell her anything, her and Dad both. And said that if there was ‘something important in my life,’ then she wanted me to know I could tell them. That they'd support me, and be happy for me. And that she loves me, of course," he finished with a wry smile.

Mutsuki let go of Hajime's hand and steepled his fingers together, looking thoughtfully at Hajime.

"That sounds almost like-"

"-Like she knew," Hajime said quietly. "Knew, or at least suspected."

Mutsuki nodded. "So what did you do"

Hajime smiled ruefully. "Freaked out, duh. You weren't here, and it wasn't like I could call you up at the cottage and talk about it."

"Maybe not, but why didn't you say anything when I got back?" Mutsuki asked, dropping his hands and looking at Hajime in confusion. "We could have talked about it then."

"I panicked, ok? I was panicked about the whole thing, because I didn't get how she could have known! And I still had to go up there for the summer festival in just a couple more weeks, I didn't want to think about it anymore than I had to when I was trying to get ahold of myself so I could act normal then."

Mutsuki sighed, rubbing his temples in a rare show of annoyance.

"Hajime, it sounds like she was opening the door for you."

"Maybe, and maybe she was talking about something completely different."

"Like what?" Mutsuki asked, the question so reasonable that Hajime couldn't help but feel attacked.

"I don't know, ok? But the whole thing...it freaked me out."

Mutsuki's face was thoughtful, thinking about the first times they'd started to get physical at school.

Times that had started shortly after summer vacation.

"Was that it, that one phone call?"

Hajime shook his head. "Not just that. Mom's been weird on additional calls since, making a point of telling me how much they love me and that I can always tell her things. And it's been so freaky..." he frowned, then lifted his head and stared sharply at Mutsuki.

"How long has Mom been calling you, Mutsuki?"

After a moment's pause, Mutsuki said, "Since the fall term started. Just to say hi, she says, and to hear from someone else that you're actually doing ok. Usually she calls me at lunch, I'm kind of surprised she called so late last time."

At that, Hajime groaned. "Mom is checking up on me?"

"In her defense, you haven't exactly been being honest with her, Hajime." Mutsuki chided, and Hajime gave him a glare.

"That's beside the point. Why didn't you tell me she was calling you?"

"Because I figured you'd be upset, and I was right, wasn't I? But don't worry, all I ever said was that you were fine and your naturally cheerful self."

Hajime didn't have a response for that, other than to continue glaring at him.

But Mutsuki was trying to make sense of all that he was hearing.

"So you've been worked up and upset...because your mom has been calling you and telling you you can talk to her?"

"When you say it that way, it sounds dumb," Hajime grumbled, and Mutsuki had to bite back the obvious response.

"I'm just trying to figure this out, Hajime. Isn't this a good thing? If your mom knows, or suspects, then doesn't that make it easier to talk to them?"

"No, it doesn't!" Hajime exploded. "That's just Mom, not Mom and Dad, and even if Mom suspects, she might not've said anything to him."

The look Mutsuki gave him was downright pitying.

"Hajime, your parents tell each other everything."

"Not everything, just most things," Hajime mumbled, and Mutsuki sighed.

"Ok, so even if Uncle Kyo doesn't know, if Aunt Tohru does...that's half the battle, right? So telling them should be easier. They love Uncle Momiji and Uncle Hans, there's no reason to assume-"

"-Did you know Grandpa's never said anything to Dad?"

Hajime's voice was quiet, and Mutsuki stared at him for a moment, uncomprehending. Then his head cocked to the side, and he looked at Hajime in surprise.

"Really?"

Hajime was looking down again. "Last year...a few months after we got together? When we were talking about maybe telling people at New Year's? I decided to go talk to Grandpa, to ask him...about talking to Dad."

"You never told me," Mutsuki said softly, resting his hand on Hajime's knee.

"Yes, because I wanted to just...figure it out myself. I figured that the only other person who could truly relate was Grandpa, so if I could hear how things went when he talked to Dad, that maybe it would give me a little more confidence myself," he said wryly.

Considering that Hajime had shut down any further talks of them going public, that clearly hadn't happened.

"So when you asked Master Kazuma, he said...he'd never said?"

Hajime nodded. "That's right."

Mutsuki thought about that, then looked at Hajime with a frown.

"But Uncle Kyo knows, right?"

Hajime laughed. "Maybe? But I don't think so. Mom and Dad can be kind of oblivious about certain things, and I don't..." He hesitated, then admitted, "I never knew, either, not until I lived there. And it was still...I might have been wrong."

Mutsuki snorted at that, then softened. "So...what did you say about you?"

"Nothing," Hajime said. "I asked him if he'd ever told Dad he was 'different,' he said he never had, and then I bolted," he admitted, looking back down. "But if he didn't know before, pretty sure he has since."

"Ok..."

That was unfortunate, that Hajime hadn't gotten the reassurance he’d hoped for, but Mutsuki couldn't see how it was a problem for Hajime talking to his parents himself. Hajime and Kazuma were different people, it stood to reason that they'd have different experiences.

"So why does that matter?"

"Why?" Hajime gave Mutsuki a bewildered look. "Don't you see it, Mutsuki? Dad is almost Grandpa's entire world, and Dad loves Grandpa more than anyone, except Mom and us. If Grandpa hasn't told him, there has to be a reason!"

"Sure, but Master Kazuma's reasons aren't yours, Hajime."

"Aren't they? How do you know?"

"How do you know?"

They stared at each other, both with narrowed eyes. Then once again, Mutsuki sighed.

"So...Aunt Tohru's been calling you, and that's been freaking you out. But you haven't been willing to talk to me about it, me or anyone, and you don't want to talk to her, because your grandpa has, for completely unknown reasons, decided not to talk about his own business with your dad? Am I missing anything?"

Hajime was still glaring at him, but then he squirmed slightly.

"Mutsuki...do you think Uncle Haru and Aunt Rin suspected anything?"

"What?" Once again, Mutsuki was surprised.

"At the Culture Fest, when we first ran into them outside the student council office. Maybe it was just me imagining things, but I kept feeling like Uncle Haru was looking at me weird," Hajime said, his face flushing.

"Well, he might have been, I don't know. They seemed normal to me, for them," Mutsuki said after thinking about it. "And to be fair," he said, his expression teasing, "You were a bit flustered."

Hajime's blush deepened, and Mutsuki continued, his voice thoughtful.

"You know, Hajime, I've kind of wondered. Do you think you've been wanting to fool around at school so much...because you actually want to get caught?"

"What?" The idea was so ridiculous that Hajime could only stare. "Why would you think that?"

Mutsuki shrugged. "Well, think about it. You say you've been stressed out because of your mom, right? Your mom, and being found out? But at the same time, you've been all over me when we can be alone at school. That never happened before this summer, Hajime, never," Mutsuki reminded him. "Just here, at home. But this fall? Suddenly we're making out in the student council room. During the Culture Fest," he stressed. "Those aren't exactly the actions of a person trying to be subtle. Maybe you figure that if we get caught, then you'll have to tell your parents."

"No one was supposed to be up there, the hallway was cordoned off," Hajime began, but Mutsuki gave him a look.

"No one except the rest of the student council, the faculty, the staff-"

Hajime didn't have a response for that, and he simply blushed deeper.

Mutsuki decided not to push it anymore. The seed had been planted, and that was enough. But he looked at Hajime, and his expression was sympathetic.

"Hajime, please? Just tell me what it is, really. I know you love your itemized lists, but I really need a summary, if you don't mind."

Hajime was glowering again, but he had to admit Mutsuki had a point.

The situation affected him too, after all.

"I'm just...conflicted, Mutsuki. I want people to know, truly. I want to be able to hold your hand, outside of here," he said, reaching out and taking Mutsuki's hand with a smile. "And with us spending so much time together this year at school with student council, it's just been so easy to...feel like I could," he said quietly.

Mutsuki was smiling, and he squeezed Hajime's hand back.

"But?"

"But," Hajime admitted. "I'm just...scared. Scared of what Mom and Dad will say," he said, looking down. “They've talked about the future before, you know," he said with a little smile. "About me and Katsuro and Sachiko getting married and having kids, and how someday if Katsuro and I wanted, our brides could wear Mom's shiromuku-"

"-A sweet offer, but I don't think it would look as good on me," Mutsuki teased, and Hajime swatted him.

"Can you please just try to be serious?"

"I'm being serious! But you can still see humor while you're being serious, Hajime, the two aren't completely exclusive."

"The point is," Hajime said, glowering at Mutsuki, "that Mom and Dad have certain...expectations for us. And I just worry that telling them that's not going to happen for me...that it's never going to happen for me...that it'll be too much for them," he said quietly. "They had to go through so much to be together, and for me to throw that away-"

"-Hey now," Mutsuki protested, sitting up and narrowing his eyes at Hajime. "In the first place, you not doing what they did doesn't take anything away from them. And in the second, who says you'd be throwing anything away? Don't you think what we have matters?"

"Of course I do," Hajime said immediately, blushing. "Would I be with you if I didn't?"

"I don't know, you're the one being weird about this."

"I'm not being weird!" Hajime protested, then sighed. "But you have to admit, Mutsuki...things would be different for us. We can't get married, we can't have kids..."

"No," Mutsuki admitted, "We can't. But that doesn't mean we matter any less, Hajime, and I can't imagine your parents would see it that way."

"But you don't know that, Mutsuki," Hajime replied. "I swear I want to tell them, I really do. I'm tired of hiding," he said, giving Mutsuki a half-smile. "And every time Mom calls and says that, a part of me wants so badly to say something. It's just...what if we're wrong? What if they're upset? What if they can't accept it?"

"If they can't accept it, then they're not the people I've always thought they were," Mutsuki said shortly. "You really think that Aunt Tohru, the woman who accepted that our dads turned into literal animals, would struggle to accept the fact her son is gay? Or that Uncle Kyo would ever think you were anything less than amazing, no matter who you screw?"

Hajime blushed at that once again. "Don't be gross, Mutsuki."

"I'm not being gross, I'm being honest. Though speaking of honest, I doubt you being gay is going to be nearly as surprising for them as the fact you're dating me," he said, giving Hajime an impish look. "Can you picture Uncle Kyo's face when you tell him we're together?"

Hajime's mouth twitched in spite of himself. While he knew his dad loved Mutsuki, Mutsuki could admittedly get on Kyo's nerves.

Then again, he got on Hajime's nerves, too, so...

"I have to tell them before we tell anyone else, Mutsuki. I owe it to them," Hajime said softly. "And I'm sorry, ok? Sorry that you're being kept quiet because of me. But I'm just...I'm just not ready yet. And I don't know what will help me," he said quietly, looking down once again.

Mutsuki sighed. While it was nice to know what the problem was, their current impasse was not exactly the most pleasant.

As far as Mutsuki was concerned, the answer was simple: Hajime just needed to sit down and tell his parents, and then everything else would fall into place. He believed Hajime when he said that he wanted to go public with their relationship, and that fact was enough to elevate Mutsuki's spirits to almost dizzying heights.

But first, he had to figure out a way to convince Hajime to tell his parents, and Hajime had always been stubborn.

That could wait for another day, though.

Smiling, Mutsuki reached out and patted Hajime's cheek. "Well, I'll get to work thinking on that one for you," he said, and Hajime barked out a laugh.

"Yes, you do that." They could both hear the skepticism in Hajime's voice, and Mutsuki laughed himself.

"You laugh, Hajime, but I'm serious. This is an 'us' problem, so clearly that means we need an 'us' solution, which means we both need to think about it. But speaking of things we both need to think about," he said, leaning over and pulling Hajime's homework back over, "You'd better get started on your homework."

Hajime gave him an annoyed look, then sighed and picked up his glasses.

"Yes, I should."

It was a school day the next day, after all.

"Just try not to take too long, ok?" At Mutsuki's comment, Hajime lifted his head from his Japanese history and gave Mutsuki a questioning glance, then Mutsuki continued,

"Because while I stand by no longer being your stress ball and I really think we should keep things out of school going forward...we're not in school right now, are we?"

"No one likes a tease, Mutsuki," Hajime said, but he was grinning. And Mutsuki grinned too as he leaned close and whispered,

"Liar."

Chapter Text

The next couple days went by peacefully enough, and it made Mutsuki smile to see how relaxed Hajime seemed. In spite of Hajime's initial resistance, talking about things had clearly helped him, and for those two days Hajime's smile came easier and he seemed much less tense. He laughed, he teased, and overall, things were great.

And then Thursday evening had come, and with it, a call from Tohru.

"Hey, Mom," Hajime answered, and Mutsuki, lying on the floor working on his homework, promptly stiffened and looked at him, his eyes uncharacteristically anxious.

"Nothing much, just doing homework with Mutsuki," Hajime said, and Mutsuki promptly called out,

"Hello, Aunt Tohru!"

Sometimes, that would be when Hajime would change his phone to speaker, but not that night.

"Yes, I can talk for a bit. Everything ok?"

Mutsuki turned his attention back to his homework, but he kept Hajime's face in his peripheral vision.

"Good. Same here, yes. Nothing new, just the same old. Everyone was over for dinner yesterday, that was fun." A pause. "Yes. Riku and Sora, Michi, Hasada, Mitoma, Shiki." A pause, and Hajime chuckled. "Yes, Shiki comes over a lot now."

Mutsuki smiled at that, happiness radiating through him as he thought about how often Shiki would join them all those days. It had taken time, and Mutsuki would admit that his methods had maybe been devious, but he'd spent so long trying to get Shiki to open up and actually let himself have fun. Shiki had always taken too much on, too many of his mother's problems and too many of his own; he deserved to remember he was a middle schooler, and to let himself have a little fun.

And Mutsuki could believe that Tohru was happy about that; she'd always been close to Akito, and he knew it bothered her deeply how much Shiki held himself aloof from most of the other ‘kids.’ He'd always been close to Chizuru and Hajime's brother Katsuro, who were only a year older than Shiki, but otherwise he'd been pretty detached from almost everyone else.

But not anymore.

"No, it was fun. Late, but fun. Yes." Pause. "Oh? Well, I'm sure that'll be fun for you guys, though why-"

Hajime broke off and straightened up, and Mutsuki looked over at him in curious surprise as Hajime sat, listening intently to whatever Tohru was saying.

"No, he didn't tell me. He doesn't tell me everything, Mom, you know that." Pause. "Honestly? You could start by putting a gag on Sachi-"

Hajime broke off and pulled his ear away from the phone with a wince, and Mutsuki laughed at the sound of Tohru's raised voice.

"I'm joking, Mom, but you're the one who asked. Have you met her before?" Pause. "No, I don't. But it's been a few years since I've lived up there, you know." Pause. "I know, Mom, and I am in the loop. It's just a bigger loop these days, that's all."

Hajime's expression had become unreadable, and Mutsuki started to frown.

What were they even talking about?

"Well, I'm sure it'll go great, though I stand by you muzzling Sachi." Pause, then a half-smile. "Yes, I'm sure you are. Well, you guys all have fun with that." Pause. "No, nothing out of the ordinary. Sorry I don't have something more interesting to tell you." Pause, sigh. "I know, Mom, and it's fine." Pause. "I know." Wry smile. "Yes, I know. And I love you, too. Say 'hi' to Dad and the others for me."

"Bye, Aunt Tohru," Mutsuki sang out, and he could hear Tohru's loud response. Then Hajime sighed, hanging up the phone and dropping it back to the floor.

"What was that about?" Mutsuki asked, sitting up and looking at Hajime who once more had that weird unreadable expression. And Hajime was quiet for a moment before he looked back Mutsuki.

"So, tomorrow night? Katsu's girlfriend is coming over for dinner," he said, causing Mutsuki to blink.

"Wait, Katsuro has a girlfriend?"

Hajime nodded. "Yep. Apparently, she was one of Katsu's friends before and Mom and Dad have met her, but this is the first time they'll be seeing her one-on-one and not when he's got other friends around, plus the first time since they found out they were dating. Mom's a basket case," he said with a wry chuckle.

"I can imagine," Mutsuki said, trying and failing to imagine little Katsuro dating. Yes, he was in his second year of middle school, but still! "He's dating and at the 'meet the parents' stage already?"

"Apparently," Hajime said shortly, picking up his pencil again. "Like I told Mom, Katsu never told me, so I don't know anything about it, other than she apparently exists and she's having dinner with all of them tomorrow."

Hajime was trying to settle back into his homework, but Mutsuki could tell from his expression that he was upset.

"And?"

"And what?" Hajime asked, looking up, and Mutsuki shrugged.

"You tell me, you're the one who's upset."

"I'm not upset," Hajime said so fast that Mutsuki gave him a snort. "There's nothing for me to be upset about. If they're still together, I'm sure I'll see her next time I'm home, if Katsu wants to introduce her. If not, no big deal. It doesn't affect me one way or the other."

Mutsuki couldn't tell who Hajime was trying to convince, Mutsuki or himself. But long before their homework was finished, Mutsuki could tell that despite what he was saying, Hajime was actually very upset indeed.

The next day at breakfast, Mutsuki could see that Hajime was still worked up about whatever it was, and when he saw him after school Hajime was still tense. Mutsuki's attempts to get Hajime to talk about it on the walk home were rebuffed, and Hajime finally banished Mutsuki from the kitchen when he wouldn't stop pestering him about it.

In the end, Mutsuki gave up on getting an answer out of Hajime, but if Hajime wouldn't talk, then Mutsuki knew someone who would.

"Mutsuki, hello! I'm sorry, I can't really talk for long, you caught me just leaving the store!"

Tohru's voice was cheerful, and Mutsuki couldn't help but smile himself at the sound. As one of his parents' oldest and closest friends, Tohru had been a presence in his life since the very beginning; her warmth and affection had been almost as comforting to him as that of his own mother.

"Yes, I imagine you'll have to be starting dinner soon," Mutsuki agreed. "But don't worry about me, I won't keep you long," he said, his own cheerful tone echoing hers. "I just thought it had been a little bit since we chatted, and I wanted to let you know that everything is ship-shape with Hajime," he said, and on the phone he could hear Tohru's laugh.

"You're always so sweet, Mutsuki, thank you! And I'm glad to hear that; he sounded better yesterday than he has the last few times we've talked, but it can be so hard to tell over the phone!"

"Yes, it can," Mutsuki agreed. "But it sounds like you all have an exciting night to look forward to," he continued, and he could practically hear Tohru's beaming smile.

"Yes, we do! I don't know if Hajime told you, but Katsuro's girlfriend, Asuka, is coming over for dinner and a visit this evening! We're very excited," she said, that excitement obvious in her voice, and Mutsuki laughed.

"I can imagine! That's very exciting, I didn't even know Katsuro was seeing anyone."

"We didn't either, exactly," Tohru said. "Between you and me, Mutsuki, I had my suspicions, but it's so nice to actually know!"

Mutsuki could very well imagine, and he laughed again. "Well, I guess you know now."

"Yes, I do. Apparently they've been dating since this summer, but Katsuro hadn't said anything until recently," Tohru said. "I'm just glad he finally told us!"

"Well, you have to give us young'uns our space, Aunt Tohru. Much as we love you, sometimes we need to flounder along on our own for a while before we decide to involve parents!"

"I know," Tohru said fondly, then she paused, suddenly hesitant.

"Mutsuki, I've been wondering. Is there, maybe, anyone Hajime-"

His eyes rounded, but before Mutsuki had to figure out how to respond, Tohru was correcting herself.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know you can't say, don't worry about it, Mutsuki. I'd never ask you break Hajime's confidence, don't worry!"

Well, that was a relief.

"Well, good, because if Hajime even suspected I was telling you any secrets, he might just kill me, and I know you'd hate to have that on your conscience," he said with an overly playful laugh. "So is that what you were telling Hajime about yesterday, your dinner tonight?"

"That's right! And just checking in on him, of course," she said. "But I'm glad you called, too, Mutsuki, that was very kind of you."

"Don't mention it, Aunt Tohru, you know how much I always love talking to you. But speaking of dinner, I think ours is just about ready, so I'll leave you to it. Tell Uncle Kyo not to glower too much, and have a nice evening!"

"Good night, Mutsuki!"

As Mutsuki hung up the phone, he was thinking deeply. He'd heard Hajime's half of the conversation yesterday, and his chat with Tohru just then had backed up Hajime's description of what they'd discussed. Pretty much all of it had been Katsuro's girlfriend and the family dinner...

Mutsuki was still musing when Hajime's voice echoed up the stairs. "Mutsuki, food!" But as Mutsuki went down and joined Hajime and Kinu at the table, he was rapidly coming to a decision.

"I'm going out," Mutsuki announced as he stood up from the table after dinner that evening. And his announcement got exactly the response he would have expected; a shrug and an, "And?" from Kinu, and a surprised look from Hajime.

"Huh?"

Mutsuki wasn't surprised by Hajime's surprise; while Mutsuki was known for doing things spur of the moment, it had been a while since he'd just up and gone somewhere without giving at least a hint about it ahead of time.

"That's right," Mutsuki said, taking his dishes to the kitchen. "And I'm not sure when I'll be back, but if it's going to be very late, I'll text."

Hajime was studying Mutsuki. "You want any company?"

"Nope. But like I said, I'll text if I'm going to be very late."

Mutsuki could tell that Hajime had more questions, but he wasn't going to entertain them just then. If Hajime wanted to keep things close to his chest, then Mutsuki could do that, too. And without giving Hajime a chance to say anything else, Mutsuki hurried to the entryway, grabbed his coat and shoes, and headed out into the evening.

Friday nights tended to be late nights at the dojo, at least by Kazuma's early-to bed standards. It was after eight by the time the last students had left, the buildings had been locked, and the dojo was quiet, and Kazuma was always ready to head back to his own house and unwind with some reading and some tea. The older he got, the more he found himself appreciating his little wind-down rituals; much as he loved karate, it was also nice, at the end of the day, to simply sit and enjoy the peace and quiet.

"Why don't you head up and take a quick shower, Kazuma?" Kunimitsu asked as the two of them made their way across the dojo courtyard over to the house. "I can throw something together for us to eat while you do that, then I'll grab mine after we’re done eating."

Kazuma considered the idea; there was no denying that a shower sounded wonderful, along with getting out of his gi after he'd been wearing it and sweating in it for the past several hours.

On the other hand, tea sounded wonderful, too-

"And I'll have some tea ready when you get down, too," Kunimitsu continued, and Kazuma laughed.

"I think that sounds very nice, thank you."

Opening the door to the house, the two of them stepped inside, but then they paused at the sight of an unknown pair of shoes.

"Were you expecting anyone, Kazuma?" Kunimitsu asked quietly, and Kazuma shook his head before saying,

"Clearly that doesn't matter, though, as we nevertheless seem to have a guest."

Stepping up into the house, Kazuma walked down the hall and glanced into the living room.

"This is an unexpected surprise, Mutsuki, to what do we owe the pleasure?"

Mutsuki was sitting at the living room table, his elbows propped up on the smooth surface and his cell phone in his hands. But at Kazuma's question he looked up, giving the two men a warm smile.

"Hello, Master Kazuma, hello, Kunimitsu! Sorry for barging in like this, but I was wondering if I could actually talk to you, Master Kazuma. In private?"

Kazuma's eyebrows raised slightly, and Kunimitsu shot him a confused look. But Kazuma's response was quick.

"Of course, Mutsuki. Do you mind if I take a shower and change first?"

"And eat?" Kunimitsu cut in. "No offense, Mutsuki, but we haven't had a chance to do that yet."

Mutsuki waved a dismissive hand. "Of course, go ahead. I'm in no hurry."

Kunimitsu's mouth twitched, and he turned to cross the hall to the kitchen.

"Well, just make yourself comfortable in the meantime-"

"-Oh, I did," Mutsuki said cheerfully. "Those pickles in the fridge were great, Kunimitsu, you're getting better at them all the time!"

Kunimitsu couldn't help but sigh, and Kazuma chuckled as he turned to head upstairs for his shower. But as he climbed the stairs, Kazuma was thoughtful.

It had been some time since they'd seen Mutsuki; while he had been a regular presence when Hajime had lived there, since Hajime had moved out Mutsuki's visits were rare. Occasionally he'd come along with Hajime to Saturday dinner, but that hadn't happened in months, and Kazuma was admittedly curious what had brought him there, especially without Hajime.

But, knowing Mutsuki, he wouldn't keep Kazuma guessing long. If there was one thing Kazuma knew about Mutsuki, it was that he was very good at saying whatever was on his mind.

"I appreciate your patience, Mutsuki, thank you for waiting," Kazuma said later as the two of them sat on opposite sides of the table. Kazuma was once more wearing his kimono, and dinner had been eaten and cleaned up; Kunimitsu had retreated upstairs to take his own shower and then to disappear into his room, and now, finally, it was just Kazuma and Mutsuki.

"Thank you for seeing me, Master Kazuma. I know it's late and you go to bed early, so I'll get straight to the point," said Mutsuki, folding his hands and looking across the table.

"That's very considerate of you, Mutsuki," Kazuma said, then gave Mutsuki an expectant look.

Mutsuki took a deep breath, then looked Kazuma straight in the eyes.

"Master Kazuma, I love Hajime. And I do mean to sound cocky about it when I say he loves me, too."

Fireworks going off in the living room would have been slightly less dramatic than that statement, which Mutsuki delivered in a calm, matter-of-fact voice. And even though his expression never changed, Kazuma needed several seconds to process what he'd just heard.

Finally, though, he realized Mutsuki was waiting for a response.

"I see," Kazuma said, finally. "Does Hajime know you're here telling me this?"

Somehow, he doubted it.

And Mutsuki was shaking his head. "No, he doesn't. And he might end up being mad at me for telling you, which," Mutsuki shrugged. "Eh. I can deal with that, probably. It's just...I need to talk to you, Master Kazuma."

Kazuma didn't know what to make of what was happening. Since that conversation with Hajime almost a year ago now, no words had passed between them on the subject of Hajime's question. As Hajime had requested back then, Kazuma had tried to treat the matter as though it was forgotten.

But it hadn't been forgotten. For weeks, Kazuma had been haunted by Hajime's face before he’d left, by that look of confusion and distress and abject fear.

By that look of intense regret.

Kazuma had wanted to reach out to Hajime many times after that, to talk to him, to explain. To not leave things the way they’d been left, to not leave Hajime wondering...and hurting.

But he hadn't. He couldn't. He'd wanted to...but he couldn't. And so he'd gone on as Hajime had requested, acting as though everything was forgotten.

Until now.

Mutsuki was looking at Kazuma intently, his bright grey eyes fixed on Kazuma's own.

"I know that Hajime came to talk to you last year, Master Kazuma. He said he asked you a question, and you said no."

Kazuma's voice was calm, but his body was rigid. "That's correct."

"Is the answer still no?"

Kazuma was silent for a time, then he simply nodded.

Mutsuki exhaled, then narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

Kazuma was almost tempted to laugh. Here was this boy, this teenager, sitting at Kazuma's table, in Kazuma's own house, challenging him on his choices.

It was almost too surreal to believe.

And yet...

Even though Kazuma hadn't heard it from Hajime, he fully believed what Mutsuki had said. How many times had he seen the two of them together, that year that Hajime had lived at the dojo? Heard their bickering, seen their smiles, observed their closeness? When Hajime had come to talk to him the year before, a part of Kazuma had wondered if Mutsuki was involved, and hearing it confirmed was enough to make him smile. As annoying as Mutsuki's current behavior might be, in his eyes, Kazuma could see the fierce instinct to protect.

An instinct he knew, very well, himself.

But that didn't mean he was simply going to roll over and answer.

"I don't see how any of that is your business, Mutsuki."

Mutsuki inclined his head. "Fair enough. So let me explain," he said, his voice companionable. "The problem, Master Kazuma, is that we're not out. Not really," he corrected. "My parents know about me, and Hajime does, of course, along with…well, probably a lot of people, really. It’s never been something I’ve kept hidden,” he said, “though it’s not something I’ve ever yelled about, either. Though I guess I’m kind of yelling about it to you," he laughed, giving Kazuma a smile that Kazuma returned with a stare. "But nobody knows about Hajime, except you and me. And nobody knows about Hajime and I except us, and now you.”

Relevant, Kazuma supposed, but not exactly helpful. "Mutsuki-"

"-Hajime is afraid to come out to his parents, Master Kazuma," Mutsuki said flatly, "Especially Uncle Kyo. And a big part of his reason for that is because you're not out to them," he said, once more meeting Kazuma's gaze.

Kazuma had stiffened again.

"My situation and Hajime's situation are hardly the same, Mutsuki. I assure you, my reasons are my own and have nothing to do with any feelings I have about Kyo's...understanding."

His voice was still calm, but inside, Kazuma's mind was racing.

Was that true? Had Kazuma somehow managed to make Hajime think Kyo wouldn't accept him?

"See, that's what I said!" Mutsuki said, looking for all the world as though he and Kazuma were just having a simple discussion about anything. "But you know how Hajime gets into his own head, and he doesn't believe that. He's been stressing...a lot, lately,” Mutsuki said softly.

Kazuma nodded. "I've noticed," he said, his own voice quiet. Then he hesitated. "Because of this?"

Mutsuki was quiet for a moment, and Kazuma hurried to add,

"Please understand that I'm not asking you to break any confidences, Mutsuki. Don't feel you have to answer."

And maybe Mutsuki would take that to heart himself.

But after a minute, Mutsuki nodded. "Aunt Tohru's been saying things since this summer that have been throwing Hajime off, making him think she either knows, or suspects. And it's been making him upset, because he wants to say something to them, but he's afraid."

"I understand," Kazuma said softly.

"So basically, he's been super conflicted and stressed, on top of everything else he's dealing with like school and student council and his entrance exams. He wants to say something to them, and to other people, too," Mutsuki repeated, "but he's scared."

Kazuma sighed. "If it helps him at all, Mutsuki, please tell him that I genuinely believe his parents will take it well. As I said," he said, "my reasons are my own, and they wouldn't apply to Hajime at all."

Mutsuki considered for a minute, then sighed. "I would, Master Kazuma, but I don't know how much it would help."

Kazuma was silent for a long time. Then, at last, he exhaled.

"In that case, I'll have to tell him myself."

"Hajime, would you take a walk with me?" Kazuma asked his grandson after dinner the next evening. "It's such a nice night, I feel it would be nice to get outside for a little bit while we can."

Hajime gave Kazuma a surprised look.

"Sure, I can do that, Grandpa, but shouldn't we clean up, first?" he asked, looking at the dishes still sitting on the table.

"Don't worry about it, Hajime," Kunimitsu said, starting to clear. "You guys go walk, I'll take care of the mess. It's my turn, anyway," he added with a smile.

Hajime hesitated for a second; normally, he'd help wash up after dinner. But Kazuma was already rising, and finally Hajime went with him, putting on his shoes and coat and going out with him into the cool November evening.

Kazuma was aware of Hajime looking at him, and knew Hajime had to be wondering what was going on. They never went walking, no matter how nice the night, and Kazuma was fully prepared when Hajime finally asked,

"Grandpa, is everything ok?"

Kazuma gave him a smile.

"It is, Hajime, thank you. But I feel that's a question I really ought to be asking you," he said, looking at him.

Hajime stiffened, and his tone became short.

"I'm fine, Grandpa. School is good, studying is good, student council has slowed down-"

"-I had a visitor yesterday, Hajime." Kazuma's quiet voice interrupted Hajime's defensive diatribe, and Hajime broke off to stare at Kazuma, wondering where he was going.

"It was Mutsuki."

Hajime froze, stopping almost in mid-stride to stare at Kazuma in wide-eyed confusion.

Mutsuki? What on earth had Mutsuki been doing at the dojo?

And why hadn't he said anything about it?

Kazuma was quiet for a moment, carefully considering his next words. But in the end, he couldn't see any way around them.

"He told me that the two of you are...together."

Hajime felt like the world around him was fading to white. Even though he knew that Kazuma had to know or at least guess about him after last year, hearing Kazuma say it still made his palms sweat and his pulse start racing.

What had Mutsuki been thinking?

But what had been said couldn't be unsaid. And after swallowing several times, Hajime finally nodding, lifting his head and looking at Kazuma with what he hoped was confidence.

"Yes," he said, "We are."

Kazuma nodded in response, then continued, "And he told me that you've been struggling, lately."

Hajime flushed, trying and failing not to think of just how badly he'd been handling that struggle.

"It's nothing you need to worry about, Grandpa."

"No," Kazuma said quietly, "I disagree. Especially if you've been struggling, in any way, because of me."

Hajime froze, then inwardly swore.

He could appreciate Mutsuki wanting to help. He could love Mutsuki for wanting to help. But whatever he'd said to Kazuma was not help.

"Grandpa, there's nothing-"

"-Hajime."

Was it because of Kazuma's years as a dojo master that his voice had such power? Even as softly as Kazuma always spoke, his voice commanded attention from everyone around him, and Hajime was no different. Falling silent, he looked up at Kazuma, trying to imagine that he didn't see any pain.

"A year ago, you came here, and you asked me if I ever told your father that I was...different," Kazuma said delicately, and Hajime nodded. "I told you no. But I didn't tell you why."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Grandpa, honest. You told me what I asked, and you didn't have to do that, either."

"No, Hajime," Kazuma said, finally starting to walk again, "I believe I do."

Chapter Text

Hajime had started walking when Kazuma did, the two of them making their way around to the back side of the dojo complex. He didn't protest any more after Kazuma's rebuttal, simply walked along in silence...and listened.

"Before I start, Hajime," Kazuma said quietly, "I want you to understand that none of what I say is meant to imply I think you have it easy. No matter the person, no matter the circumstances, everyone has their fords they must cross and their obstacles they must navigate. Your struggles are valid, and I'm sure they're every bit as painful to you as mine have been to me," he continued, glancing over at Hajime. "But as I told Mutsuki yesterday, I have my own reasons for everything I've done, and everything I've chosen not to do."

Hajime nodded, and Kazuma took a quiet breath.

"As you know, Hajime, my grandfather was the Sohma previously possessed by the Cat Spirit, the last one before your father."

At that beginning, Hajime couldn't help but look at Kazuma in surprise. Out of everything he'd expected Kazuma to say, or everything he'd guessed Kazuma might say, he hadn't expected the Zodiac Curse to be involved at all.

Kazuma continued as though he didn't notice, though.

"My grandmother was his companion, the woman in charge of his care. For almost his entire life in confinement, she took care of his physical needs. All of them, by the end," he said, and Hajime found himself blushing as he looked down at the ground.

"My father was the product of that...care," Kazuma continued, "and while I never knew for sure, I got the impression that he had been...unexpected. And life was not easy for him; I doubt it was possible for life to be easy for the bastard child of a servant and the Cat."

Kazuma's voice was calm, but Hajime couldn't help but cringe away from both the words and their truth. Almost three years had passed since Hajime's parents had told him about the Zodiac Curse; about what it had meant for his father's life, what it meant for him within the Sohma Family. How he had been looked down on, despised, and abused, treated as and considered to be an inferior being, a monster, by so many people.

Including his own biological father.

How much harder had things been for Kazuma's grandpa, that previous Cat, living in a time when things were even more restrictive? Would he have had the support Kyo had had, the knowledge there were at least a few people out there who loved him?

Somehow, Hajime doubted it.

And thinking about the verbal abuse Hajime himself had taken simply for being Kyo's son when then Curse was broken, Kyo was free, and the Family head herself had supported his freedom...how much worse did it have to have been for Kazuma's father, growing up in the midst of that toxicity while his father was possessed, actively confined, and very much despised?

"I don't know much about my grandmother," Kazuma said. "In all my life, I never met her, although I know she was alive for much of my youth. My father rarely, if ever, spoke of her, and never by name or as his mother. He...did not support her choices, with regard to my grandfather."

To put it mildly. The few times Kazuma could remember ever hearing his father say anything about his mother, it had been to disparage her; to comment on how there couldn't be anything more debasing than to be the concubine of a Beast.

"My father also didn't speak of his childhood, not in specific terms," Kazuma said. "He was mostly raised by relatives; obviously my grandfather was of no assistance, and my grandmother was preoccupied with her duties as his carer and companion. But I do know that such as it was, it was extremely cold, and extremely harsh. All things considered...I can't say I'm surprised that he became a cold, harsh person himself."

Kazuma smiled slightly.

"My mother was another Sohma, Hajime, and if you were to ask me point blank, I can't say whether there was ever any affection between them. Sometimes, when I was young, I would hear them fight," he admitted softly, "And I would hear my mother cast my father's parentage back at him like a weapon. As though he had any control over who his parents were...or as if they had any control over who they were, in turn," he said sadly.

"It always hit my father hard, who he was. Even though he wasn't the Cat himself, even though he looked nothing like the Cat, everyone knew. All the Sohmas, anyway. And I wondered, when I was a child, why our family stayed here. Why he chose to live in a place where everyone looked at him as lesser, just because of who his father was. I asked him that, once," he said, smiling wryly, "And he asked me what kind of man I thought he was, thinking he'd just run away. He asked me if I thought he was a coward. Then he told me that he might be the son of a Cat, but he was no Cat himself, and he would always stand his ground and prove he was better than that. That we all would, our whole family."

Kazuma sighed. "Looking back...it's all so incredibly sad."

Hajime's eyes were downcast, and slightly teary as he contemplated that life and that bitterness. Would that have been him, if his father had been confined? His mom loved his dad, deeply; he knew that she had been willing to follow his father into confinement if Kyo had been willing to let her.

It was possible.

If Hajime had been born under such circumstances...could that have been him? Sad and resentful, of his very parents as well as the world?

He was grateful he'd never had to find out.

"That belief of my father's was shared by my mother, and it was something that drove my family my entire youth. That we were 'better' than the Cat," said Kazuma, his face taking on a small, sad smile. "We might descend from the Cat, but we were better. Not just than him, but than others, too. My father pushed himself excessively to be 'the best;' the best at his job, the best at making money. The best picture of domestic success. As I'm sure you can imagine, my parents were very image conscious. Our house was always immaculate, and my parents were always proud to show off to my father's work colleagues, and other Sohmas. You might think that the Sohmas would have shunned my parents, but you'd be wrong; if anything, I feel like there were many who took an almost perverse pleasure in wanting to see how 'the Cat's bastard' had turned out," Kazuma said, and Hajime winced once more at the words.

Even if his grandpa was just repeating what other people had said, it was still his own father he was speaking of.

"And naturally, their desire to be the best extended to me, as well," Kazuma continued. "I was under tremendous pressure from my earliest recollections. I was supposed to be smarter," he said with a rueful smile, "and stronger. I was expected to excel at everything, to support my parents' assertion that we were better than my grandfather's blood. It was...hard," he said, glancing down himself, and Hajime could feel the tears rising again.

"I wasn't a particularly good student, though I certainly did try. And I'm ashamed to say that I didn't handle...disappointing my parents, or myself, all that well. I developed anger issues, very early on."

That startled Hajime, and his head snapped up and he looked at Kazuma in wide-eyed shock.

"You?"

Calm, level-headed, patient Kazuma, the most even-tempered person Hajime had ever met, had had anger issues?

Kazuma laughed at Hajime's shock.

"Yes, Hajime, even I have things I'm not proud to admit. I was angry," he said, the laughter fading, "for a very long time. That's why my parents eventually decided to enroll me in karate; they hoped it would help me get a better handle on my anger, which embarrassed them deeply, and also hoped that, given my failure to excel in academics, I might still find a way to make them proud. They got what they wanted."

Kazuma inhaled, then gave Hajime a smile.

"I hope this doesn't sound too conceited, Hajime, but as it turned out, I had quite a bit of natural skill when it came to karate."

Hajime actually laughed at that, both for the directness of the statement and for the fact that it, finally, was something actually happy. And he didn't think it sounded conceited at all; Kazuma had been the master of the Sohma Dojo for almost forty years, having taken it over when he was only twenty-five; when he was younger and obsessed with karate, Hajime had always been in awe of his grandfather's ability. Sensei Kenichi, the master at the dojo up in Hibe and a highly respected karateka himself, had always said that Kazuma was one of the most inherently skilled karatekas he'd ever met, so to hear Kazuma say he had 'natural skill...' seemed like a fair assessment.

"Needless to say, my parents and I were all delighted with that development. Finally, there was something I could truly do to demonstrate how worthy I was, how talented our family was. I was pushed into as many classes as could fit in a week," Kazuma said, remembering. "Looking back, I'm extraordinarily lucky I didn't get seriously injured, or burn out. I would never let a child train that aggressively, myself," he said, his voice briefly hard. "But for me...things worked out."

He was quiet for a moment, thinking back on it, then he corrected himself.

"Well, things mostly worked out. I still had a chip on my shoulder, Hajime, a rather substantial one. The stigma attached to my family followed me everywhere within the Sohma Family, as I'm sure you can imagine, and that included the dojo. I found friends there, but there were also those who always wanted to 'put me in my place,'" he said, taking on that slightly bitter smile again. "I'm not proud to say that to counter that, I was determined to put everyone else in their places, instead."

Kazuma sighed once more, then said somewhat bluntly,

"I was a bully, Hajime. I was young, strong, and impossibly arrogant. Determined to prove myself, determined to show that I was worth more, that my family was worth more. To live up to my family's expectations of me. And my parents...were proud of me," he said, his voice once again sad. "They saw my tournament wins and my rapid rise through the ranks, and they were proud of that. It didn't matter to them what I had done to get there, what kind of person I was becoming in the process. All that mattered, all that had ever mattered, was image. How I, and therefore how they, were perceived."

Both of them were silent for a little while as Hajime digested that information, trying and utterly failing to reconcile his kind, loving grandpa with the person Kazuma was describing.

Even hearing the words from Kazuma's very own lips...it all felt impossible.

"Then when I was seventeen, my mother died of an illness," Kazuma said, and Hajime swallowed at the realization that his grandpa had been Hajime's own age when his mother had died. Regardless of what their relationship had been, it was still his mother, and Hajime couldn't even imagine it.

"Though I'm still not entirely sure how much they cared for each other, my parents had had a partnership, and her death hit my father hard. He threw himself even more furiously into his work, and looked to me even more intensely to excel. Though I rarely saw him, he kept tabs on me; my grades, my karate practice...my social life," he said with a slight smile. "Every part of my life was monitored and reported back to him, to ensure that I wasn't doing anything to bring him shame."

How incredibly lonely it had been.

"It was too much for him, in the end. The immense pressure he put on himself," Kazuma clarified. "Just before I turned nineteen, he collapsed at work, and he never got up."

Before Kazuma had even been a legal adult...he had been on his own.

"I was lost," Kazuma admitted. "While I can't say and never could say we were close, he was still my father, and he had played a prominent role in my life. When he died, I wasn't long out of high school, only midway through my first year of university."

That earned another startled glance from Hajime, and it provoked another laugh from Kazuma.

"What, is me at a university so hard to believe, Hajime?"

Hajime once again blushed.

"Well, you've always been at the dojo, it just never would have seemed like something you'd do!"

Kazuma chuckled again, then softened. "Well, you're not wrong. It was my father's idea, not mine; as I said, I was never the academic type. But while my father approved of my karate practice, he wanted me to have a 'respectable career' one day as well. The picture-perfect family image, a salaryman with a wife and children who would be expected to excel in turn."

He sighed as they rounded the corner of the dojo complex.

"After my father died, I was adrift. He had dictated so many aspects of my life for so long that with him gone, at first I didn't know what to do. The only thing that brought me any sort of happiness and clarity was karate, so..." he shrugged. "I threw myself into it. I stopped going to my university classes and started spending all of my time at the dojo. As my parents' only child I had inherited everything, so I didn't have to worry about supporting myself in those early months. And I didn't."

Kazuma closed his eyes, remembering those dark, turbulent times. How long ago they had been, yet he could remember them like they were yesterday.

"Then one day, Sensei Koji, the master here before me, approached me at the dojo. He knew about my father, obviously, and about what had happened. He'd been watching me, and he had seen how I'd been struggling. And he offered me a job," Kazuma said, smiling. "But on one condition: I had to take real, tangible steps to work on my anger."

Hajime couldn't help himself, and he blurted out, "You were still angry, even then?"

"Especially then," Kazuma said with a sigh. "Angry and resentful, and desperately alone. I'd lived my entire life trying to fit into the mold my father had made for me, and with him gone, I suddenly didn't have that mold anymore but had no experience living without it. I was afraid, Hajime, and fear with no safe outlet can all too easily become anger."

Hajime was quiet, thinking about the wisdom of that statement, and Kazuma continued.

"I was both excited and extremely irritated. Sensei Koji was right, of course, but it was hard to accept. I had an ego, after all," Kazuma admitted with a smile. "Still, I agreed, because to make a living working in the dojo...it was honestly my dream," he said, "Even if it wasn't what my father had wanted for me."

"How did you do it?" Hajime asked, looking at him curiously. "Learn to control your anger?"

"Meditation," Kazuma said simply. "Sensei Koji was a big proponent, and though I admittedly thought it was foolish at first," he said with a little laugh, "I was determined to show him that I could do what was asked of me. I wasn't a Cat, after all," he said, his mouth twisting once more into that bitter smile. "And to my surprise...it actually helped me. It took time," he admitted. "A few years, in fact. But gradually, with patience and practice, I was able to get my anger under control. To get my competitiveness under control," he said ruefully. "And, finally...to get my shame under control."

Once again Kazuma went silent, then he smiled.

"But in the end...I was a person I could actually be proud of. Perhaps I won a little less often, or a little less decisively. But I was no longer that bully, determined to win at all costs. I learned, and appreciated, the value of quieter, simpler things. Of the beauty of kata, for kata's own sake. Of the peace that came from simply sitting and observing. I became a better teacher, an overall sounder karateka, and a better man. And to my surprise, people responded to that."

Kazuma's expression was thoughtful as he continued,

"I'm not sure if it was because enough time had passed, because my father had died, or simply because many of our problems had been in our own minds. But by my early twenties...I was no longer under the microscope I'd always lived beneath. My parents and grandparents were gone, and who they had been no longer seemed to matter. I was doing what I loved, and while I did excel at it," he said with a chuckle, "it didn't matter, not really. My tournament wins were for myself and the dojo, not my family. It was a simple, easy life; one very late in coming, but one I loved. And then, when I was twenty-five," he said, his voice becoming sad, "Sensei Koji died, incredibly unexpectedly."

Hajime knew this part. Kazuma had been extraordinarily young when he'd taken over the dojo; and while he'd almost reached his sixth-degree black belt by then, it was still uncommon for someone his age to be in such a position, especially not without a family connection.

"Frankly, Hajime, I was shocked when I was asked to take over for Sensei Koji. I may have been working for the dojo for nearly six years by then, but it still seemed completely unprecedented for them to ask me at my age. However, Sensei Koji had no heirs, and the dojo was the Sohma Family's to bestow; my performance at the dojo, both as a student and later as an instructor, had clearly attracted the right attention. And obviously, I ended up accepting it."

He exhaled. "It was quite the learning curve, I can tell you that. As it turned out, teaching was nothing compared to actually running the whole dojo; I won't bore you with the details, but I was pathetically grateful for the business manager the Sohmas hired for me that first year while I figured out how to properly read a ledger," Kazuma said with a chuckle. "It was obviously very important to the family that the dojo maintain its reputation, so that was my biggest priority, especially at first: to ensure the transition from Sensei Koji to myself was as smooth as possible, and standards never dropped. It was hard, but I seemed to manage. We didn't lose any students, and managed to attract even more. It helped, that I'd always had a good rapport with the students since getting my anger under control."

Hajime could believe that; while he obviously knew a fair amount of karate teachers, it wasn't bias that made him say Kazuma was one of the very best.

"Two years after I took over the dojo, I took in your father," Kazuma said, smiling once more. "People thought I was out of my mind, which, in some ways, they were right about. It wasn't the easiest, managing a five-year-old on top of the dojo. There was a lot of juggling that had to happen, and I know there were people who were upset with me. But it was the right thing to do, and I never regretted it," Kazuma said, smiling down at Hajime. "From that point on, the two of them were my priorities: Kyo, and the dojo. And I did my best to live up to both of them."

Kazuma went silent after that, and he was silent for a very long time. Then, finally, he looked back at Hajime.

"I imagine you're wondering where I was going with all of this."

Hajime laughed almost in spite of himself; while Kazuma had a point to an extent, Hajime hadn't wondered, not really.

Kazuma had never been one to talk without purpose.

Kazuma was quiet again, then he smiled; a sad, slightly resigned smile.

"For so long, Hajime, my life was dictated by appearances. I knew, very early on, what was expected of me...and what was not. I knew the consequences, if I were to turn my back on those expectations."

He exhaled again, then continued. "When I began to realize...that I was different, words didn't even begin to describe how I felt. My shame and disgust with myself were unimaginable."

"Maybe, or maybe not," Hajime said quietly, and Kazuma gave him that same sad smile.

"Perhaps not," Kazuma agreed. "But to me, at the time...it was as though the universe was playing a cruel joke on me. I needed, so badly, to do things correctly; to live up to my parents' standards, to prove myself beyond any hint of reproach. And there I was, attracted to men, knowing that if literally anyone around me found out, it would mean the end of my life as I knew it. Possibly even my life, back then.”

Then he looked back at Hajime. "My parents never would have accepted me, Hajime. My friends never would have accepted me, either, nor would the Sohmas. I would have been ejected from the dojo, ejected from my home. Likely beaten to within an inch of my life, or further. I had no choice," he said sadly. "Admitting the truth was never an option."

Hajime could understand that, and it made his heart break for his grandfather. Things were definitely not easy for Hajime, but compared to what Kazuma had gone through, Hajime's world was both safer and kinder.

He, at least, had a choice.

So far, everything Kazuma had said had made sense. That accounted for Kazuma's youth, but what about later?

"Why didn't you say anything later, Grandpa? Why have you kept it a secret, all this time?"

Kazuma studied Hajime's face, his concerned confusion. This was so like Hajime, trying to learn all the information. Trying to figure everything out that he could.

"Well, for a long time, Hajime...it simply didn't matter. I was hardly looking to meet anyone; if anything, I spent years trying to convince myself I wasn't attracted to anyone, man or woman. And I was busy, incredibly so. First working at the dojo, then running the dojo, then running the dojo and managing Kyo..." Kazuma chuckled. "Honestly, it was just as well there was no one then. I was moving at full speed trying to make time for what I had; there was no room in my life for anyone else, and if I had had someone, they would inevitably have been neglected. The dojo was obviously a large commitment, and as for your father..."

Kazuma's jaw hardened. "From the moment he walked into this dojo, Hajime, Kyo's health, happiness, and safety became my life. I would have died for him, happily, if I'd thought it could save him. And I meant to fight for him, when the time came. There was no way I'd ever consider bringing anyone else into that; it had always been my fight. My way to atone...for everything."

Hajime swallowed. Even though he'd heard that part before, it was still hard to hear; hard to think about how close his father had come to that cold, terrifying existence.

What would have happened, if Kazuma had tried to fight?

Would he have prevailed?

Or would Kyo have been locked away regardless?

Hajime didn't want to think about that anymore.

"But what about after, Grandpa? After the Curse broke, after Dad moved out..."

Kazuma smiled once more, that small, wry smile.

"Well...I did make an effort, in the immediate aftermath of Tohru and Kyo's move to Hibe. I went on a couple of dates-"

"-Really?" Hajime was shocked. From totally in the closet to dating?

"Yes, albeit with women."

Hajime was confused again, and Kazuma smiled at his grandson's naivete.

"I was still in denial, Hajime," he said gently. "For fourteen years, ever since I'd taken over the dojo, I had been so busy that there had been no time to even think about having a relationship. Then when the Curse broke and Kyo was free, I suddenly no longer had to worry about him," Kazuma said, his smile becoming big and broad. "It was...a wonderful feeling."

"But I also realized," he continued, "That I was, in fact, lonely...and I tried to convince myself that whatever it was I'd once felt was gone."

Hajime could relate to that, almost painfully so.

"You see, Hajime, even if I was older, and even if my parents were gone and no longer controlled me...I still wasn't free, not really. I love this world," Kazuma said, gesturing around at the dojo. "Karate, and everything that goes with it. Since my earliest days in the dojo, I knew I wanted to do this, in some capacity, for the rest of my life. But this life, Hajime...it's not, and I question if it ever will be, accepting of men like us. If my...interests were known, I can guarantee that I would lose many of my students, and likely be dropped by many of my professional acquaintances and friends. I doubt I'd be able to keep the dojo open, or possibly even find work as an instructor. In this very physical world, there isn't room for men...who love men," Kazuma said softly, then chuckled. "Or so I thought."

Hajime was quiet, thinking about it. As much as he hated to admit it...he could see that Kazuma had a point.

"What happened, Grandpa? When did you...stop fighting it?" Hajime asked, then blushed, realizing he was maybe getting a bit too personal. "If you don't mind saying."

Kazuma chuckled. "No, Hajime, it's alright. I don't mind telling you."

Telling anyone, for the first time in his life.

"As I said, I tried going on a few dates, with women, after Kyo's Curse broke and he'd moved away. And I felt nothing, which was disappointing. I can't say I acquitted myself well, either," he said with a laugh; "I was so nervous that I essentially talked about Kyo the entire time, and what first date ever wants to listen to someone prattle on about their child?"

Hajime was grinning at that; Kazuma and Kyo had always been open in their affection for each other, just like Kyo had always been open in his affection for Hajime and his siblings in turn. Hajime had seen enough other families to know not to take that for granted, and he cherished the fact that Kazuma had been willing to start that pattern of honest affection.

That, at least, he'd been able to express.

"So, after my...third date? Fourth? Something like that," Kazuma said, after a minute, "I gave up. I felt nothing for any of those women, or any other women; clearly, the universe was telling me I was meant to be alone. I still had many good things in my life, after all; I had the dojo, I had your parents, I had my work. I didn't need anything more."

Kazuma was staring out into the darkness of the dojo, thinking back to those days with a rueful smile. He had been past forty...and still feeling and acting like an insecure teen.

"I didn't realize that what I'd been missing had been under my nose the entire time."

Chapter Text

It had come on so gradually that Kazuma hadn't even realized it was happening. He had known Kunimitsu since the other man was fifteen, since he'd started at the dojo mere months after Kazuma took over as the master. Back then, Kunimitsu was simply another talented student, and Kazuma had been happy to have him join the dojo when Kunimitsu's family had moved to the area. Another new black-belted dan, more new blood to prove to the Sohmas that they'd been right to choose Kazuma to lead the dojo going forward.

He'd been very glad to have Kunimitsu, and all of the dans, two years later when he took in Kyo. The new commitment meant Kazuma had to let certainly things go in the dojo, and unfortunately, that had meant cutting back on teaching. Kunimitsu and his fellow dans had stepped up to take on the classes Kazuma couldn't, and Kazuma had appreciated their efforts deeply. By that point he no longer had the Sohma's business manager; most of his time in the dojo was spent dealing with the managerial side of things, rather than karate, and he’d had no budget then to hire actual staff.

He was also admittedly a bit stubborn. The last thing he had wanted was for anyone to think he couldn't handle the dojo, or Kyo either; he would prove wrong all the doubters, show them he could do it, and that Kyo would be no burden.

A little over a year later, Kunimitsu had graduated high school and gotten a job in an office. The demanding work schedule had meant Kunimitsu had to pull back from the dojo, and Kazuma was disappointed; Kunimitsu had always been talented, and, more importantly, his upbeat personality had been nice to have around.

But even Kazuma could acknowledge that a job had to come before a hobby, especially one as involved as karate. And it wasn’t like he’d never see Kunimitsu; the younger man was cutting back at the dojo, not leaving.

Four years after that, Kunimitsu had come to Kazuma to tell him that he needed to withdraw from the dojo completely. Kazuma had been shocked, but Kunimitsu had explained that he just couldn't handle both anymore; even though he hadn't been running class for a few years, and even though he only made it to the dojo once a week, that was still too much with his grueling work schedule and commute. He'd been trying to find a better job, but he couldn't, and since he couldn't, that meant he needed to work with what he had.

Kazuma had seen the pain in Kunimitsu's eyes, and he had related to that pain completely. How would he have felt, if he had had to give up karate? If it hadn't been for Sensei Koji, back when Kazuma was nineteen and flailing, then it might have been Kazuma forced to choose between karate and supporting himself.

He hadn't been able to let Kunimitsu go like that. He saw too much of himself in the younger man, too much promise and too much drive. Instead, he'd asked Kunimitsu if he really wanted to go. And Kunimitsu had told him no; if it wasn't for his job, he wanted to stay...forever.

Was that the first time he felt it? Sitting there in his office, looking at that earnest young man, who was sitting there and telling him he didn't want to leave? Kazuma couldn't say. It was possible, but back then he’d also been deeply preoccupied with other things; Kyo was only ten, then, and Kazuma was as focused as ever on Kyo and his future.

But Kazuma had created a job for Kunimitsu, that of Kazuma's assistant. He was running everything by himself at that point, still more out of pride than anything; giving Kunimitsu a job would help Kazuma too, and both of them would win, in the end.

Kunimitsu took over most of the day-to-day dojo business, handling things like scheduling, collecting payments and coordinating maintenance; Kazuma remained in charge of everything pertaining to upper dojo management and dealing with the Sohma Family. It was also decided that Kunimitsu would be in charge of the live-in students, and as part of his compensation he would have a room in the boarders' section of the dojo, along with board.

Kunimitsu had been twenty-two, and Kazuma thirty-two. It had taken some time for Kazuma to get used to delegating, but eventually he had, and once he did, he wondered how he'd ever managed without Kunimitsu. Life was much less stressful when he didn't have to do everything himself; he had more time to practice, and more time to spend with Kyo. Eventually, after Kunimitsu had been working at the dojo for a while and knew all the ropes, Kazuma was even able to start taking training trips again, knowing that the dojo and Kyo would both be left in excellent hands.

When had it started, really, that he'd begun to see Kunimitsu in another light? Not just as his assistant, not just as his friend, but as something more?

Kunimitsu had lived in the dojo for over five years by the time Kyo started high school, out in his room in the boarding section of the dojo, and he had always shared most of his meals with the boarders. But after Kyo moved to Shigure's house and Kazuma returned from his training sabbatical, Kunimitsu had started to periodically stay later in Kazuma's house after work and the two of them would have dinner together. Kunimitsu had always been the cook; he'd even taught Kyo to cook, after swearing that Kazuma would only teach Kyo to start fires.

He might have had a point.

Kazuma always enjoyed their dinners, and the chance to talk to Kunimitsu about things other than work. The two of them had always gotten along well; Kunimitsu's light-heartedness had always been a nice contrast to Kazuma's seriousness. And Kazuma could talk to Kunimitsu about Kyo; although Kunimitsu didn't know about the Curse, he'd been around in some capacity since Kyo was five, and he was one of the very few people Kazuma could talk to about his son who was actually proud of him, too.

Those meals had continued through the next year, as Kazuma had fought to stay cheerful in the face of Kyo's rapidly approaching confinement. And though Kunimitsu didn't, and couldn't, know why Kazuma was down, he'd noticed, and done his best to try and boost his morale.

It had been nice, that concern.

When the Curse had broken, it had been as though the weight of a thousand lifetimes had been lifted off Kazuma's shoulders, and Kunimitsu had been the first to notice and remark on it. And Kazuma had laughed, telling him that he had been worrying about something for a very long time...but that it was all over now.

Those months between the breaking of the Curse and Kyo's graduation still counted among the happiest of Kazuma's life. He had seen Kyo happy and free, everything he'd ever wanted for his son. He got to watch as Tohru and Kyo grew closer, the love they'd always shared becoming stronger, prouder, and more confident. He got to watch Kyo throw himself into preparing for his future, preparing for a life he could finally live.

Kazuma got to be there to help him do it.

And the day Tohru and Kyo boarded the train for Hibe and their new life, Kazuma had felt immensely happy for Kyo. He would miss him deeply, of course, but seeing him, smiling and confident, boarding the train with Tohru at his side...it was the best gift he ever could have been given.

Especially when, just before boarding, Kyo had smiled at him and called him, 'Dad.'

After Kyo moved, though, Kazuma finally admitted to himself that something was missing. He'd spent thirteen years with Kyo as his greatest priority; now Kyo was off on his own, and he didn't need Kazuma to take care of him anymore. Kazuma was free to finally prioritize himself...if only he knew what that looked like.

He'd been so stubbornly optimistic, taking those women out on dates. It had seemed like such a good idea, but the reality had been almost painfully depressing. Each time, he'd come home and he'd end up discussing his failures at his next dinner with Kunimitsu, who would laugh and try to give Kazuma advice, like 'don't talk so much about Kyo.'

After Kazuma's last date, Kunimitsu had started yet again to give him some pointers, but Kazuma had politely but firmly shut him down.

"It's alright, Kunimitsu; I think at this point, it's time to simply accept my failings and admit that dating isn't for me."

And Kunimitsu had chuckled. "Well, it seems a little early to throw in the towel, Kazuma, but at least you'll still have me for company, right?"

Had that been it, the moment when Kazuma had finally started to admit it to himself? When he started to look at Kunimitsu and wonder?

Wonder, and hope?

Things continued along as they'd been. They worked together, trained together, and periodically would eat dinners together. Kunimitsu would watch the dojo when Kazuma felt the itch to travel, always telling Kazuma that whenever he came back he'd better remember to bring Kunimitsu a souvenir. And Kazuma almost always did, even if it was sometimes something completely ridiculous.

Like a rock.

"You just said you wanted a souvenir, you never said it had to be a good souvenir," Kazuma had said, trying to stifle his laughter as Kunimitsu had stared at the rock.

Kunimitsu had shaken his head, then looked at the rock in amusement.

"I see how it is. You decide to take a trip to Osaka less than an hour before getting on the train, I make sure the dojo doesn't burn down in your absence, and you bring me a rock?"

"It's a very handsome rock," Kazuma pointed out. "And see how nicely it fits in your hand? I think as far as rocks go, it's a very good one."

Kunimitsu had smiled and rubbed his thumb along the top of the rock.

"Ok, fine, I guess maybe you're right.

Kyo and Tohru had gotten engaged a year after graduation, and Kazuma had been ecstatic for them. His greatest wish had been for Kyo to be freed from the Curse; once that was granted, Kazuma had let his wishes run rampant, but his next wish had been to see the two of them get married. Kyo had proposed to her when they were in Tokyo, and it had been Kazuma who they told before anyone else; seeing the looks of unbridled joy on both of their faces had made him feel he could die happy in that moment.

Days later, when Tohru and Kyo were once more back home in Hibe and Kazuma and Kunimitsu were having one of their dinners, that engagement was fresh still on Kazuma's mind, and Kunimitsu had been grinning as he’d listened to Kazuma wax poetic about how happy he was and how much he was looking forward to Tohru and Kyo’s wedding.

Kunimitsu had laughed about that, too.

"I never knew you were such a romantic, Kazuma!"

Kazuma had smiled. "I have many hidden depths, Kunimitsu."

"Clearly," Kunimitsu said with another chuckle, then he had looked at Kazuma thoughtfully. "You ever think about that for yourself these days? Romance?"

Kazuma had raised his brows, then smiled as he shook his head.

"Not anymore, no."

"Hey, you're still plenty young; you shouldn't write yourself off because of a few bad dates a year ago."

Kazuma had laughed at that.

"While it's nice to know you don't think I'm in my dotage just yet, I think that it's time to accept that such things aren't in the cards for me, Kunimitsu."

Kunimitsu had given him a look of such concern that it was touching.

"You shouldn't say things like that, Kazuma, not unless that's what you actually want. You're a great guy, and a great catch. Any...girl would be happy to be with you."

It had been a small, almost insignificant pause. A pause that had been barely a hitch.

In that hitch, Kazuma had wondered if he heard something.

But he'd just smiled, trying to brush it off.

"You're very kind, Kunimitsu, and I thank you for that. But I feel confident in saying, at this point, that the woman for me simply doesn't exist."

Kazuma had felt like he was going crazy after that day. It was like a cork had been pulled out of him, and thoughts and feelings he'd been suppressing for years came tumbling out, threatening to consume and overwhelm him.

It was wrong, he knew that much. He had no right to think those things, or to feel those things. It was deluded of him to assume, to hope, or even to wish.

He owed Kunimitsu better.

But somehow, he suddenly couldn't help getting in Kunimitsu's space. When they'd be walking briskly together through the halls of the dojo, discussing classes and student progress, Kazuma would sometimes find Kunimitsu's shoulder bumping his. When they were cleaning up together after dinner, sometimes their hands would touch.

And as much as he felt he had to be imagining it...he almost swore it wasn't him who was instigating.

Had Kunimitsu always leaned so close when he was giving Kazuma documents to review? Had he always stood so close when he was waiting for Kazuma to sign things?

Had he always so consistently rested his hand on Kazuma's shoulder when he was setting down Kazuma's dinner?

Kazuma couldn't remember...and he wasn't sure he wanted to, either.

"I'm so very sorry, I know there's no excuse, but please, please try to forgive me!"

Kazuma hadn't meant for things to go that way. He hadn't meant for any of that day to go that way; not for Tohru to twist his arm into taking her to visit Kyo's biological father, not for her to be hurt. Not for Kyo to be hurt in turn, and for Kazuma to have to witness and share in all of it.

He hadn't seen any way out. Tohru was adamant to meet Kyo's birth father, and Kyo himself was back in Hibe; there was nothing Kazuma could do to stop her, so all he could do was go with her, and make sure she was safe.

He wished he hadn't needed to protect her.

She'd been so proud and defiant, standing there in the face of Katashi Sohma's anger and abuse, and Kazuma had loved her for her fierce defense of Kyo and himself. But she shouldn't have had to defend them, and after the two of them had left Katashi's house, he could see her start to crumble and he had hated himself for the role he'd played in letting it happen.

Kyo had been angrier with Kazuma than he ever had before, and Kazuma had to agree it was justified.

He had been angry with himself, too.

Later that night, after Tohru had left the dojo for the evening, Kazuma had let loose all that hatred and anger. Anger with Katashi, anger with himself. The pent-up frustrations from years of dealing with that miserable, hateful man and his miserable, hateful behavior, of knowing Katashi had had Kyo and continued to throw him away.

Kunimitsu had sat and listened, his face sympathetic. He didn't know about the Curse, and he never had. But he knew that Kyo's father had given him up, and he'd talked to him too many times to feel even the tiniest amounts of charity for him. Instead, he'd encouraged Kazuma to let everything out, listening to the rare sound of Kazuma not only angry, but downright furious, and very loud to boot.

It had felt good, letting that anger out.

But once the anger was gone, Kazuma had found to his great mortification that he was crying. Tears themselves were well and good, and he'd always accepted them as a valid expression of emotion. But to be reduced to hot, blinding tears of anger and frustration...that was something else entirely.

It wasn't fair, any of it. Not fair Kyo had had to deal with that hatred growing up, not fair he still had to deal with it then. Not fair Tohru had to feel that pain, both on Kyo's behalf as well as her own.

None of it was fair...

He'd been startled to feel Kunimitsu's arms wrap around him, but only for a moment. He was too worked up to care, too worked up to worry he was standing too close. In that moment, he had craved the comfort of human contact, and in Kunimitsu's arms he had found it, wrapping his own arms around Kunimitsu and burying his face in Kunimitsu's shoulder as if he were a child as he cried.

And if that had been all there was, it might have been ok. But in a moment of weakness, as Kazuma had calmed down, he had turned his face away from Kunimitsu's shoulder and pressed it into the curve of his neck, and as he'd touched skin he'd felt Kunimitsu's body go rigid.

Horrified, Kazuma had let go, rapidly throwing out the apology that he knew could never be sufficient before bolting from the room, and the house. Out on the gazebo in the far corner of the grounds, Kazuma had cursed himself soundly, damning himself for the weakness that had likely just cost him his valued coworker and closest friend.

Kunimitsu had found him there soon after, and Kazuma had tried to explain without explaining, knowing that it was impossible but knowing he had to try. If he could just convince Kunimitsu there was nothing in it, that it had been a simple emotional response, that he definitely had not just nuzzled him with any sort of intention...

But that hadn't been what Kunimitsu had wanted him to say, or why he'd followed him out there to start with. He hadn't wanted Kazuma to apologize, and he didn't need him to explain. Instead, he'd stood there, admittedly awkwardly, and apologized himself. He'd been startled...but it was ok.

Everything was going to be ok.

"Kazuma...you once said...that you didn't think the woman for you existed..."

Kazuma had never thought life could be so happy. He had accepted, once, that he would always be limited somehow in life; at one point, he'd thought he'd never work a career he liked, then when he was older, he faced the far more horrible prospect of imagining his son locked up. Those fears had fallen by the wayside over the years, but he had never imagined it was possible for him to have more.

That it was possible for him to have love.

Yet somehow, incredibly, that's what he had found, right there in his very dojo. Kunimitsu loved him...and he loved Kunimitsu back.

Publicly nothing changed. Both of them knew the stakes, for them individually as well as the dojo itself. Kunimitsu kept living where he was, out in the boarding section of the dojo, eating most of his meals with the boarders. Kazuma would still go on his little trips, and Kunimitsu would manage the dojo in his absence. They had the same responsibilities they'd always had, and mostly kept to the same routines.

But the number of nights they had dinner together increased and many of those nights...most of those nights...Kunimitsu's futon out in the dojo would be untouched.

A little over three years into their relationship, Kazuma had decided to close the dojo to boarding students. Their numbers had been dwindling for some time, and when their only current boarder thanked Kazuma and told them he was moving on, Kazuma felt it was time to make a change. The dojo had always strongly relied on day students, and their numbers were greater than ever; financially and numerically, the dojo was in an excellent position. They didn't need the boarders, and not having them any more would allow the dojo to streamline a few areas of operation.

It also meant that there had been no reason for Kunimitsu to live out in the dojo proper anymore.

Him moving into the house had been a milestone for them; even though Kunimitsu had his own room, at the opposite end of the hall from Kazuma's, it was still significant, them both living in the house. Once again, nothing had changed publicly, but now they could eat together, talk together, and simply be together, every single night.

And so they had gone on, days passing into weeks passing into months and then years. Fifteen years had gone by since Kunimitsu had moved into the house, and things hadn't changed in almost any way. They still worked together to run the dojo, Kunimitsu handing most of the minutiae and Kazuma handling the higher-level tasks and dealing with the Sohmas. They both taught. Kunimitsu always managed the dojo when Kazuma traveled, and Kazuma would still bring Kunimitsu random souvenirs.

Kunimitsu still had that rock, which sat on a shelf in Kunimitsu's room in the dojo, along with a few newer ones.

It was unconventional, but it worked for them. Unlike many couples, neither one of them minded that they couldn't travel together. Kazuma was a wanderer, while Kunimitsu was a homebody; he was content to stay at the dojo and hear later what Kazuma had gotten up to while he was gone. The only place Kunimitsu would have liked to visit more was Tohru and Kyo's home in Hibe, but he still made it up there from time to time, and they were always happy to see him.

In general...things were good.

"I can understand why you aren't...public, Grandpa, you and Kunimitsu," Hajime finally said as he and Kazuma made their way yet again around the dojo grounds. "It sucks...but I understand."

Kazuma had to chuckle at Hajime's phrasing. "Thank you, Hajime, and I have to agree; the reasons do indeed 'suck,'" he said with a sigh.

"But that's just 'public,'" Hajime continued with an anxiously perplexed look. "If you're so sure that Dad will be ok with it, why haven't you told him? You could have told Mom and Dad, and no one else would've been any the wiser...except me," he said, giving Kazuma a half-smile.

Kazuma laughed and gave Hajime an affectionate smile. "Yes, I have to say that attempting to hide a relationship with you living in the house for a whole year was something of a challenge. And I hope it was nothing..."

He hesitated, and Hajime promptly blushed, guessing what Kazuma was hinting at and not wanting to let him finish that thought.

"There was nothing obvious, Grandpa, don't worry about it. It was just...little things, I guess. Stuff like how you'd act together in the evenings, just sitting near each other. How you'd look at each other sometimes, probably when you forgot I was there. The way Kunimitsu always knew when you'd need extra-strong tea just by looking at you."

Kazuma laughed again. "Yes, well, you've always been an observant one, Hajime."

Hajime smiled, too, but then repeated his question.

"So why not Dad? If you're so sure, then why haven't you told him and Mom?"

Kazuma was quiet for a moment, then he sighed. "To be honest, I never quite saw the point."

That wasn't an answer Hajime was expecting, and his face was written over with confusion as he asked Kazuma,

"What?"

Once again, Kazuma had to resist the urge to chuckle, Hajime looked so bewildered.

But he couldn't laugh at this.

"My life, Hajime...is very satisfying, exactly as it is. Kunimitsu and I are happy, both with each other and with the way we do things. We've never been particularly demonstrative, or felt that we were being any less ourselves when your parents were around, so it's just...never seemed like something that needed saying. Kyo and Tohru know I care for Kunimitsu, they care for him too, he cares for them...there has never been a real need to make things more explicit."

Hajime was looking at Kazuma with a frown.

"But Kunimitsu always sleeps in his room when they visit-"

"-Not that it's any of your business, but he often sleeps in his room anyway."

"You guys don't hug or kiss each other when they're around-"

"-As I said, not everyone is demonstrative in all situations, Hajime."

"What if there was some kind of emergency?"

"I'm sure they'd contact Kunimitsu first regardless if they couldn't reach me, don't you think?"

"Don't you think they'd just want to know?"

Kazuma looked at Hajime for a long moment, then sighed.

 "Why, Hajime? Why would they necessarily want to know what's going on behind closed doors?"

Hajime was blushing again, but defiant.

"Because it's not just about the doors, Grandpa, it's about...everything! It's about you, it's about your life, it's about something...someone," he corrected himself, "Who's important to you. Someone you've been with since before I was born! You don't think Dad and Mom would want to know that, and have a chance to be happy for you?"

He met Kazuma's gaze, light brown eyes searching into dark ones. Then Hajime swallowed and his eyes widened.

"You are afraid, aren't you, Grandpa? You say you're sure...that you know Dad'd be ok with it. But you haven't told him, because you don't! You don't know, and you're afraid, too!"

"Hajime," Kazuma said, seeing the despair once more darkening Hajime's eyes and wanting desperately to get ahead of it, "I already told you, that's not the case. And your situation and mine, they aren't the same."

"How?" Hajime demanded, looking at him. "You haven't told them, either, for the exact same reason!"

"No," Kazuma said. "I haven't told them because I haven't felt it was necessary-"

"-Because you're afraid!"

"-Because it isn't necessary," Kazuma repeated, his voice firm. "But Kunimitsu and I are different. We are older, in a completely different life situation. We were already established, we already lived together, there was no one and nothing we needed to introduce each other to. We aren't particularly demonstrative, we've never felt any need to do 'couple' things...our lives, as they are, are perfectly content.”

Kazuma exhaled. “You and Mutsuki are young. You have different goals and ambitions for yourselves, you have a wide social circle you want to be open with. Mutsuki told me you two want to make your relationship public, and that knowledge...it makes me so happy for you, Hajime. You have a freedom that I never had, and knowing you and Mutsuki can do that, knowing you're comfortable doing that...it makes me so happy."

But Hajime wasn't smiling.

"Don't you see, Grandpa, I'm not? I want to be, yes, and I've wanted to for a long time, but I can't," he said, his mouth quivering. "I'm happy for you and Kunimitsu, Grandpa, really. I'm glad you guys found each other. But how can I believe you about Dad when you don't even believe yourself?"

"Hajime-"

"-No, Grandpa," Hajime said, shaking his head. "I just...I need to think on this for a while. On all of it. I want to believe it, I really do," he said, his eyes welling up. "I want to be able to look at them...and tell them that I'm...gay, and not have them pull away. Or look at me like they don't know me, or they're disappointed in me, or..."

He broke off, shaking his head again as he took a step back.

"I need to go, Grandpa. Please tell Kunimitsu good night for me, ok?"

"Hajime, please-"

"-Good night."

Hajime was already heading off across the courtyard, and soon he disappeared around the dojo gate. Meanwhile, Kazuma just stood and stared after him, trying not to feel like he'd just made everything worse.

Chapter Text

When Kazuma finally went back into the house, Kunimitsu was sitting in the living room, waiting for him. And between Kazuma's facial expression and the fact he was alone, it wasn't too difficult to guess that things hadn't ended quite as Kazuma would have hoped.

"What happened, Kazuma?" Kunimitsu asked, rising and heading into the kitchen as Kazuma sank down into his usual place at the table. And Kazuma sighed, watching across the hall as Kunimitsu pulled out the tea things.

"I may have just made things worse," he admitted, and Kunimitsu looked back at him with a frown.

"What makes you say that?"

"I tried to explain why I'd never told Kyo, and Hajime just kept taking it as meaning I was afraid to tell him. Even though I kept assuring Hajime that there was no way either of his parents would be upset with him, he said that if I hadn't told them about me, then he couldn't believe I actually thought that."

Kunimitsu was quiet, and for a little while all that either of them could hear was the rapid whisking sound of Kunimitsu stirring up the matcha. Then he walked back into the living room, handing Kazuma the teacup and sitting down beside him.

Kazuma took a drink, grateful for the steaming beverage. But he was frowning as he looked at Kunimitsu, not liking the way the other man was studying him.

"What is it?"

Kunimitsu was silent for a moment longer, then he sighed.

"Do you wonder if maybe Hajime has a point?"

Kazuma gave him an appalled look.

"Why on earth would I? Of course he doesn't, I'm supremely confident in Kyo, and Tohru too. I can't imagine them ever being disappointed in Hajime, no matter what."

"Not that point, Kazuma, the other point," Kunimitsu said, looking at him reproachfully.

That time, Kazuma stiffened, and his response was short.

"No."

Kunimitsu was giving him that same disbelieving look, and Kazuma felt compelled to defend himself.

"We've talked about this, Kunimitsu. It wouldn't change anything for us, or for them. Not really. So why change the way things are?"

"Because he's your son," Kunimitsu said quietly. "And you deserve to be able to be yourself in front of him."

Kazuma's attention was rigidly fixed on his tea. "I am myself in front of him, as I have been for almost his entire life. Him knowing wouldn't change anything in how I behave."

"Then why not tell him?"

"Because I don't need to tell him."

Kunimitsu had the hint of a smile playing on his lips, and Kazuma narrowed his eyes at him.

"I hate to break it to you, Kazuma, but you sound like a little kid when you say things like that."

"I do not," Kazuma said stiffly. "I am simply stating a fact. Kyo knowing about us wouldn't change anything about any of our relationships, and my telling him would serve no real purpose."

Kunimitsu was quiet again, then he said, "Kazuma, you know I try not to get in the middle of your family stuff, and I don't plan to start now. I've always said I'm ok with what you're ok with, and I mean that. But I've gotta say...I kind of think Hajime might be right. I think you're afraid."

Kazuma sighed. "Kunimitsu, you're being absurd."

"No, I’m not. Maybe telling Kyo won't change anything, but by that same logic, it wouldn't hurt anything, either. You've always said it didn't matter, but I think it does, for both of you. And it clearly does for Hajime."

Kazuma stared down into his tea, wishing Kunimitsu was making less sense.

Wishing he could keep arguing he was wrong.

Kunimitsu just sighed, then reached out and wrapped his hand around Kazuma's as they held his teacup.

"Like I said, it's on you, Kazuma...but I think that whatever you've been telling Hajime, me, and yourself, this is a whole lot more important than you've wanted to believe.

That night, Kazuma lay awake in the darkness long after Kunimitsu had fallen asleep, Kunimitsu's soft, regular breathing a gentle contrast to the agitated thoughts racing through Kazuma's mind.

Talking to Hajime had been hard...but strangely freeing. Kunimitsu was the only other person who knew most of what he'd told Hajime, and actually being able to tell someone, to relive those moments, to smile, to see Hajime smiling for him...that had all been wonderful.

But things had ended so poorly Kazuma couldn't enjoy that catharsis. Hajime had been so upset, and so accusatory; Kazuma had defended his reasoning, but after talking to Kunimitsu afterwards, he found himself questioning everything.

Was it true?

Was he scared?

Kazuma sighed, thinking about Kyo and about everything they'd faced together, good and bad. About everything Kyo had ever shared with him, good and bad.

And the more he thought about it, the more he found himself wondering; how much had Kyo held back, at any point in his adult life?

Had he ever held back?

Kazuma thought of their many conversations, via telephone and video chat. Of when Kyo's family would come to Tokyo and Kyo would immediately seek out Kazuma, to sit and talk.

'Master...I've decided I wanna move away, after I graduate. To find a dojo, far from here, where I can work, and train, and just learn to live in the world, away from the Sohmas. Do you...do you think it's a good idea?'

'I went down to the dojo for the first time today, and met the rest of the staff. Pretty sure at least one of 'em thinks I'm just a kid, which sucks. But I'm gonna show 'em, don't worry.'

'Dad...I'm gonna ask Tohru to marry me!'

'I had that dream again...the one of the night before Mom died. I can't make 'em stop!'

'I'm only here 'cause of you, Dad. Just you being there for me...it's the best birthday gift I could ever ask for.'

'I'm pretty damn happy right now, but having you here to see it makes it all that much better.'

'I owe him so much, my dad. Without him, I'd never be able to be here, never be able to be holding Tohru's hand.'

'That's right, godan! Pretty cool, I know.'

'We're having a baby! I'm gonna be a dad, Dad!'

'Something happened and they've gotta deliver the baby right now and I wasn't there! She's lying in there and I'm out here and I can see her and I wasn't there! I didn't even get to talk to her, I didn't get to tell her it's gonna be ok!'

'Dad...this is Hajime.'

'I just wish I knew what the best thing to do even is, you know? Do I try to push her more? Should I try talking about Grandpa more? Does she wanna talk but's scared she'll get too emotional?'

'You can sure as hell say that again, Dad. We're more'n ready to move, and the sooner the better. But I just sent you one more picture, if you wanna check that one out.'

'I know I'm supposed to take it easy, I'm the one who was in the damn hospital! But it still fucking sucks, you know?'

'So, it's a pretty good thing I'm at my peak now, Dad, 'cause thirty's gonna be a hell of a year for us.'

'I'm scared, Dad. It scares me, any of 'em knowing. And it always has. I wasn't human, and that's...a lot. And that's honestly the easy part. I've gotta tell 'em...the rest.'

Kazuma closed his eyes, listening to Kyo's voice echoing in his head. Happy. Excited. Sad. Angry. Terrified. Resigned. Good things and bad things, big moments and small.

Things he'd shared: openly, honestly, and without prompting.

'I've gotta tell 'em.'

Kyo had been talking about the Zodiac Curse, and his children. He had sat there in front of Kazuma only a few years ago, looking so much like a scared teen that it had been hard for Kazuma to process as he'd told Kazuma of his plans to tell Hajime about the Curse. Not because he’d wanted to, but because he’d felt he had to. And Kazuma had encouraged him, supported him, and told him he was doing the right thing.

Hajime was Kyo's son, and it had been time he knew.

'I've gotta tell 'em.'

Kunimitsu shifted in the futon, and Kazuma felt the arm draped over him shift, then the fingers tighten against his shoulder. And in spite of Kazuma's raging mind, he smiled. Then he sighed, moving slightly closer to Kunimitsu, and closed his eyes, Kyo’s voice echoing in his mind.

'I've gotta tell 'em.'

"Everything ok, Dad?"

The concern in Kyo's voice was evident, and Kazuma couldn't exactly blame him for that. While Kazuma had timed his call carefully and knew he hadn't woken Kyo up, it was still extraordinarily uncommon for Kazuma to call just after five in the morning.

"Yes, Kyo, everything is fine. I'm sorry for calling so early, I didn't wake Tohru, did I?"

"Nope, you caught me getting my sneakers on." That was what Kazuma had been hoping for, roughly; every morning at five, Kyo got up and, unless it was an actual blizzard or pouring rain, went running. Back in Tokyo, Kazuma himself also woke up at five, in his case to go out to the dojo to meditate and do kata.

Or, in today's case, to make a private phone call.

"Well, that's good to hear," Kazuma said in relief, then went silent. On the other end of the phone he could hear Kyo waiting for him; after all, Kazuma had called him, it stood to reason that Kazuma had something he wanted to discuss.

"I was wondering, Kyo, what are the chances of you and Tohru coming to Tokyo for a little visit?"

"A visit?" That time, Kyo tone held surprise. "You mean like before New Year's?"

Kyo and Tohru's family typically came to Tokyo to spend the week of New Year's, but considering that New Year's was over a month away, Kazuma definitely meant before New Year's.

"Yes, before New Year's. I was actually wondering about next weekend."

Kyo was silent for a little while. "Dad, you'd just tell me if there was something wrong, right? If you were sick, or something else was going on?"

Kazuma could understand that concern, too. "I would, Kyo, and I promise it's nothing like that. I just think it would be good to see you, and to talk."

There was another brief silence, then, "Lemme talk to Tohru, and see what I can do about my Saturday classes. I'll get back to you once I know."

"Good. I look forward to hearing from you, and I hope you enjoy your run, Kyo."

"You're really not gonna tell me anything else, huh?"

Kazuma sighed. "I'd really prefer to talk in person, Kyo. As I told you, it's nothing you should worry about, but I would really like to see you."

"Fine." Another pause, then Kyo's voice came quietly. "Love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Kyo."

Up in Hibe, Kyo stared at his phone after Kazuma hung up, his brow deeply furrowed as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. While he was aware Kazuma was also always up at five, he couldn't think of a time Kazuma had ever called him that early, and to ask him for a visit...

Slipping his phone into his pocket, Kyo tried to think of what could possibly necessitate a face-to-face conversation that wasn't bad. Perhaps Kazuma was getting a belt promotion? That was certainly possible, and considering Kazuma's next rank would be kudan, or ninth-degree black belt, Kyo could understand him wanting to tell Kyo in person.

Or maybe...

Kyo's hands stopped on his laces, the idea of Kazuma's hypothetical promotion bringing another possibility to mind.

Was it possible that Kazuma wanted to discuss the dojo?

The dojo...and its future?

"Hey, have we got any plans this coming weekend, Tohru?" Kyo asked, walking into the kitchen later that morning with damp hair and his towel draped around his neck. "Friday night, Saturday, Sunday?"

Tohru looked up at him, her expression curious.

"You and I? No, unless you have something going on besides work. Sachiko has Yumi's slumber party, though, Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon."

"And I've got rehearsal on Saturday, Dad," Katsuro piped up from the stove where he was sautéing vegetables with a practiced hand. "This Saturday, and the next three Saturdays, too, for the winter concert, remember?"

"That's right," Kyo said, frowning.

That was the trouble with having a multi-person household; multiple people tended to have multiple schedules.

"Why?" Tohru asked as she pulled the breakfast dishes out of the cabinet. "Is there something going on?"

"Yeah, kinda," Kyo said, walking over and almost absently kissing her cheek. "Dad called this morning, and he wanted to know if we could come visit this weekend."

It was Tohru's turn to be surprised then, and she looked at Kyo with wide eyes.

"Master Kazuma called? This morning?" she repeated, automatically glancing at the clock and the not-early-but-definitely-not-late hour of just past nine showing there. "Is everything alright?" she immediately asked, and Kyo nodded.

"Yeah, everything's fine, or so he says, anyway. But he asked if we could come visit next weekend, 'cause he's got something he wants to talk to me about," Kyo said, his frown once more in place as he looked at her.

Tohru's frown matched his. "He didn't say anything else?"

"Only that it was nothing to worry about, but he wants to talk in person."

Tohru considered that for a minute, then glanced back up at him.

"Has Master Kazuma ever done this before? I feel like this is new."

Kyo shook his head. "Not that I can think of, and believe me, I tried. So...assuming I can get someone to cover Saturday for me, I really think I've gotta go, Tohru," he said, his face serious, and she nodded.

"Of course you have to. But you might have to go alone," she said, still frowning, then glanced over at their son, who was listening intently. "Katsuro, these rehearsals are mandatory, aren't they?"

He nodded. "Sorry, Dad."

Kyo shook his head. "Don't be, Katsu, it's pretty short notice. For sure you've gotta make your rehearsal." Then he looked back at Tohru, mouth screwed up in thought. "Dad asked about you too, Tohru, so I think it'd be good if you came, too, if you could."

"You know I would, Kyo, but Katsuro for sure has to stay, and Yumi's party has been planned for so long, I doubt Sachiko is going to want to miss it though of course we can ask. Is she in the shower?"

Kyo nodded, then looked back at Katsuro thoughtfully. "Katsu, you think you could stay at a friend's house this weekend?"

"Probably," Katsuro said after a moment. "But couldn't I just stay here? I am fourteen," he said, somewhat importantly, and Kyo snorted.

"Only way you're staying here's if someone else we choose stays here, too. You might be fourteen, kiddo, but you're not staying here without an adult for nearly three days."

Katsuro sighed, pulling the breakfast pans off the stove.

"Hajime was only fifteen when he moved out," he began, and Kyo chuckled.

"Into a house with your grandpa, so not exactly being left to his own devices. Now, you wanna see if you can stay at a friend's place? Or you want us to see if someone can come stay with you?"

Katsuro's voice was resigned. "I'll ask Junichi."

"Good. And lemme know after you guys've sorted it out so I can check with his dad and confirm everything."

"Daaaaaaad," Katsuro groaned, and Kyo gave him a raised eyebrow.

"Changing your mind about a house sitter, Katsuro?"

Katsuro didn't have a response to that, and he began filling the breakfast dishes with a grumble and bright red ears.

Tohru had been watching the whole exchange with a smile, and she reached out and gave Katsuro a hug.

"We do this because we care, Katsuro."

Katsuro was blushing too hard to say anything else, and Kyo chuckled at his discomfort, for a moment. Then he got serious.

"Ok, so Katsu's gonna check with Junichi; we've gotta see if there's someone Sachi can stay with, too, otherwise I'm sure we can get someone to stay with her, unless she wants to cancel and come with us. Current classes oughtta be done in about twenty minutes," he continued, after once more checking the time, "So I'll see if I can get ahold of Yamada, Shibata, or Ikeda and see if any of 'em can trade with me for next Saturday. Once I know, you can go ahead and get our tickets-"

"-After I call Akito," Tohru told him, and Kyo gave her a rueful smile.

"Tohru, this is a spur-of-the-moment trip, pretty sure we can pay for it ourselves without Akito getting mad at you."

"Not that spur of the moment," Tohru said with a smile as they started to take the dishes to the table. "And you know how happy it always makes her to do it! I'd hate her to think we were travelling all the way to Tokyo without me stopping in for a little visit.”

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "So that's Sachi and Katsu, tickets, work..." he thought for a minute, then snapped his fingers. "Hajime. I'll give him a call once I know for sure whether I've gotten Saturday off and let him know."

Tohru's face brightened. "Yes, we should make sure he knows we're coming so we can make sure to get time to see him! As much as I'd love to surprise him, he's so busy these days that I'd hate to either inconvenience him or miss him."

"And who knows, maybe he's got some idea what's on Dad's mind," Kyo said thoughtfully. Then he looked at the table, fully set and ready for breakfast, then turned towards the hallway and bellowed, "SACHI, BREAKFAST!"

Hajime was fast asleep when his phone started ringing, and it was more than halfway through its ringing when Hajime finally woke up enough to shoot out a hand and grab it, glancing briefly at the display before blearily answering.

"Dad?"

"Morning, Hajime," came Kyo's amused voice. "I wake you?"

"Yes," Hajime admitted, rubbing his eyes and glancing at the time. Just after ten, which wasn't that unreasonable for a free Sunday, except in his father's impossibly-early-rising eyes.

"Sorry about that, I figured you'd be awake by now or I'd've waited."

"No, it's ok," Hajime said, partially stifling a yawn. "I should really get up now, anyway."

"Busy day?"

"Not really," Hajime said with another yawn. "Some of the guys are getting together this afternoon to see a movie, but not until three. I actually," he said, yawning once more, "have some free time."

"Damn, Hajime, maybe you oughtta actually just go back to sleep," Kyo said, his voice somewhere between amused and sympathetic. "Late night?"

Hajime had to fight the urge to snort in response to that question. As a matter of fact, he'd gotten home from the dojo the night before and gone straight to bed, not really wanting to talk to anyone after his conversation with Kazuma. He couldn't decide how he felt about Mutsuki telling Kazuma about them; while he appreciated the fact Mutsuki had wanted to help, it didn't change the fact that he’d told Kazuma without Hajime's input or permission.

But while he'd gone to bed early, he'd had trouble sleeping. Mutsuki had respected his terse request to be left alone, so there had been no chatter or distraction to break him away from his thoughts; nothing to do except replay his conversation with Kazuma over and over again until he was desperate for the sleep his brain wouldn't let him have.

It was just as well that it was a free morning.

"Late enough," he admitted. "I had trouble getting to sleep, that's all. But it's fine, I'm fine," Hajime said, repressing another yawn with an almost herculean effort.

"Well, I'm glad you're fine," Kyo said. "Listen, the reason I'm calling's to let you know your mom and I're gonna be in Tokyo this weekend-"

"-Wait, you are?" That was a surprise; as far as Hajime knew, there was nothing going on that would make his parents travel just then. It was late November, barely more than a month until New Year's, and Dad worked Saturdays to boot. "Why?"

There was a pause, then Kyo asked, suddenly wary,

"There a problem with that?"

Hajime immediately cursed inwardly. Had he sounded too anxious? Worried? Concerned?

Doing his best to sound normal, Hajime said, "No, of course there isn't. It'll be nice to see you guys, I was just surprised, that's all. Usually, you don't travel around this time if you don't have a good reason."

"Well, apparently we're getting a little more spontaneous as we age. It's gonna be just your mom and me, we'll be getting in late Friday night and staying at the dojo, then heading home on Sunday afternoon. We were hoping you had some free time, and we could see you while we're in town."

By the time Kyo had finished with the plan, Hajime was grinning. With how busy everything had been that year, trips home had been few and far between; the last time he'd seen his parents in person had been the end of August when he'd been home for the summer festival, and that trip had been hectic and short. While the thought of seeing them, especially his mom, was a little stressful just then, he still had to admit it would still be nice.

"Yes, I'm free, pretty much," he said, trying to think of whether there was actually anything going on that next weekend. "The only thing I know I've got going on is Saturday dinner with Grandpa."

"Pretty sure you can still make that," Kyo said with a laugh. "In that case, though, how about we touch base on Saturday? You can wander over whenever, too, but I'm thinking for sure that afternoon?"

"Afternoon sounds good."

Saturday mornings Kazuma had classes, and Hajime's father almost always attended when they were visiting Tokyo. Hajime was sure his mom would be sleeping late that morning and probably going to see Akito after that, so afternoon was probably the best time to see them both.

"Alright. I'm gonna let you sleep, Hajime, and don't worry, I won't tell your mom you had a rough night."

Hajime groaned at the thought of his mom's worry if she knew.

"Thanks for that, Dad."

"Anytime. Take care, Hajime!"

Yawning yet again, Hajime flopped back down into the bed, reaching out and setting his phone back on the nightstand. But tired as he admittedly was, his expression was thoughtful as he looked at the phone.

Why were his parents coming to Tokyo that weekend, and why hadn't Kyo said? Hajime was looking forward to seeing them, but...

As he rolled back over and closed his eyes, he found himself devoutly hoping it wasn't some elaborate plan of his mom's to check up on him. The past week had been stressful enough, the last thing he needed was to have his parents sit him down and tell him they were worried about him.

Chapter Text

When Hajime finally got out of bed and made it downstairs, it was just past noon. And when he did, it was to find Mutsuki sitting alone at the table, eating a bowl of microwave ramen and scrolling idly on his phone.

Mutsuki looked up when Hajime walked in.

"Afternoon, Sleeping Beauty. I wondered when you were going to finally make an appearance."

For some reason, that made Hajime blush, and he briefly ignored Mutsuki to rummage around in the kitchen himself. He knew after sleeping so long and missing breakfast he really ought to make himself something decent for lunch...but he just didn't care. Reaching into the cupboard for a second bowl of instant ramen, he opened the top, added water, and chucked the whole thing in the microwave with a yawn.

Mutsuki was watching him.

"So for all you went to bed so early, how long did it actually take you to fall asleep?"

Hajime stood in front of the microwave, watching the timer count down. "Late," he admitted after a moment. "I had trouble falling asleep."

"Hmm. You want to talk about it?"

Hajime looked at him, then over at Kinu's closed bedroom door. Following Hajime's gaze, Mutsuki chuckled.

"Kinu's been gone for over an hour. People have things they do on weekends, remember?"

"Hey, I do things," Hajime protested. "And sleeping in is a valid 'thing,' it's not like I get that many chances these days."

"True," Mutsuki admitted. "And you look so cute when you're sleeping," he said, giving Hajime a mischievous smile.

"You spied on me, didn't you?"

"I checked on you about an hour ago, yes," Mutsuki admitted easily. "You might have been sulking, after all."

"I don't sulk," Hajime said shortly. "Being annoyed and sulking aren't the same thing."

"No," Mutsuki agreed, "but they can be. And they sometimes are, with you."

The timer on the microwave beeped, and Hajime brought his bowl of ramen to the table and sat down in his usual spot at the end of the table. He wanted to argue with Mutsuki's point, but he had the aggravating feeling that Mutsuki might actually be right on that, damn him.

But if they were trying to talk about things, fine. He could talk about things.

"Don't you think you should've talked to me before telling anyone about us, Mutsuki? Especially my grandpa?" Hajime asked, scowling slightly as he looked across the table.

"What, you would rather I have talked to either of my grandpas, neither of whom have anything to do with me? That sounds productive," Mutsuki answered, but in response to Hajime's annoyed look he sighed. "Fine, I'm sorry, ok? But I wanted to ask for his help, and there really wasn't any other way I could think of to do it."

Hajime grunted. "You could have asked my opinion, Mutsuki. You should have asked my opinion, seeing how it's my grandpa and my problem."

"Our problem," Mutsuki reminded him, and Hajime snorted again.

"Fine. Our problem. But you didn't have to do that, especially not totally out of the blue-"

Hajime was cut off by Mutsuki.

"-What upset you when Aunt Tohru called the other day, really? Did she get weird and 'you can tell me anything' you and I just missed it somehow?"

Hajime blinked, then frowned. "Don't worry about it, Mutsuki, it was stupid and unrelated."

"I doubt it," Mutsuki said. "And I doubted it then, which was part of why I went and talked to Master Kazuma. Do you know what I think?"

"I think you're going to tell me," Hajime said, his voice incredibly dry, and Mutsuki laughed.

"Well, yes. But I also think that it upset you that your parents were having a 'meet the parents' thing with Katsuro's girlfriend."

Hajime blushed. "Why would it bug me that they're meeting Katsu's girlfriend? I already told you, I'm sure I'll get to meet her next time I'm home, if they're still dating. It's not like I feel left out or anything."

"Liar."

Hajime's eyes widened, then narrowed. "Mutsuki-"

"-Not about meeting her, no. That I believe you on," Mutsuki said, laying his chopsticks over the top of his empty bowl. "But I think it bugs you that Katsuro is introducing his girlfriend and your mom is all happy and fluttery about it when you haven't."

"In case you've forgotten, Mutsuki, you know my parents."

"Yes, but not like that. Not as the most favored apple of their sweet son's eye."

Hajime cracked a smile at that. "Please don't ever call yourself that again."

"Why not? It's true," Mutsuki said with a twinkling smile. "And you're deflecting. So, tell me I'm wrong. Look at me," he continued, "and tell me I'm wrong."

Hajime stared at his bowl, then said,

"And you figured telling Grandpa would help with that because...?"

"Because you said you went to Master Kazuma to psych yourself up to tell your parents about you. So I figured if Master Kazuma was what you needed then, he'd be what you needed now, too. You want to get this out there, Hajime, you've said so and we both know it. All you need is a little nudge."

Mutsuki looked so confident in what he was saying that Hajime had to smile in spite of himself.

"Yes, well, Grandpa's not exactly that nudge, Mutsuki."

"What happened?" Mutsuki asked, looking at him. "I figured you two talked yesterday and that was what made you so surly last night, but I couldn't figure out why you were surly. Even if you're mad I told him, you weren't acting all that mad at me."

"Because I'm not mad at you. Annoyed, yes, but not mad." Hajime wanted to get that out of the way before anything else. "And we talked...for a while. Grandpa told me a lot of stuff about him and his past, then basically told me that he's never told Dad about them because 'it wasn't necessary.' He says he's confident that Dad and Mom won't have a problem with me, but at the same time, he's never said anything to them himself. And I told him that I think he's afraid," Hajime said quietly, "just like me."

Mutsuki processed that, then sighed.

"So now what?"

Hajime was still. "Well, I guess now Grandpa knows about us, for starters. He's happy for us, by the way," he said with a slight smile at Mutsuki, "so I guess that means you haven't annoyed him too much yet. And he knows we know about them. Though I guess I don't know about Kunimitsu, I didn't think to ask."

"That's something, I suppose," Mutsuki said at last. "Though even if Master Kazuma hasn't told them, Hajime, I still think he's right about your parents."

Hajime's parents...that reminded him.

"Mutsuki, you haven't talked to my mom again recently, have you? Or my dad?"

Mutsuki gave Hajime a curious look.

"I talked to Aunt Tohru on Friday, why?"

Friday?

"Did she say anything about them coming here?"

Mutsuki blinked at him in surprise.

"Coming here? No, she was just telling me about dinner with Katsuro's girlfriend. Have you worried her enough that she's thinking of checking on you in person?" he asked teasingly, and Hajime's eyes narrowed.

Then he sighed. "Dad called me this morning. Apparently he and Mom are going to be in town this weekend."

"Huh. Did he say why?"

"Nope."

"Huh." Mutsuki repeated, looking thoughtful. "Did he say anything else?"

"Not really, just that they want to see me while they're here, which, no kidding," Hajime said with a shrug. "And they're staying at the dojo, of course."

"Do you think everything's ok?"

"I think so," Hajime said after a moment's thought. "Dad didn't sound upset or anything, he just wanted to let me know. It's still weird, though, Dad doesn't like to take time off if he doesn't have to."

"Maybe someone else needed to switch shifts and he ended up with a free Saturday," Mutsuki suggested. "And since Aunt Tohru clearly has been missing and worrying about you-"

"-Don't even go there, Mutsuki," Hajime said with a growl. "The last thing I need is to worry about this being some sort of damned intervention."

"I hate to break it to you, Hajime, but it sounds like it might be a damned intervention. What are you going to do if it is?"

Hajime was quiet, and he looked down at his bowl before looking anxiously at Mutsuki.

"I don't know."

"Aunt Tohru, hello!"

Mutsuki sat crossed-legged in the middle of Hajime's bed, phone held up to his ear and a cheerful smile on his face. Beside him, Hajime leaned close, listening in.

"Oh Mutsuki, hello! It's so nice to hear from you, how are you?"

"Good, good," Mutsuki said affably. "Just enjoying my weekend, but feeling a little bit adrift; this is the kind of day where I'd normally like to be out in the garden, but since it's November-"

"-Oh, I know! I doubt it's as nice up here as it is down there, but it's always so sad this time of year, isn't it? I've been looking at some seed catalogues, but it's not really the same."

"No, it's not," Mutsuki agreed. "That's what we get for living in places with growing seasons, I guess. But I figured, since I had a little free time, that I'd call one of my favorite aunts and see how things are going! Did your dinner go well the other night? Inquiring minds want to know."

Tohru giggled on the other end of the phone. "You're very sweet, Mutsuki, and the dinner did go well, thank you! Asuka is a very sweet girl, and we like her very much. Though it still feels a little strange for Katsuro to be dating at his age."

"At fourteen?" Mutsuki said, laughing. "In middle school?"

"Well, we didn't start dating until we were seventeen, you have to remember," she said, and Mutsuki smiled.

"I'm believe you had extenuating circumstances, Aunt Tohru, quite a lot of them."

"Perhaps. But this is all new to me, any of the kids dating at all."

Beside him, Mutsuki could feel Hajime tense, and he placed a hand reassuringly on Hajime's knee.

"I'm sure you're handling it like a pro, Aunt Tohru. Asuka had to have loved you, you're one of the most loveable and non-threatening moms in the universe."

"Aww, that's so sweet, Mutsuki, you don't have to say that!"

"Of course I do, I have to speak the truth," Mutsuki said with a grin. "But so, the dinner went well, and that's good. Do you guys have any other exciting plans coming up?"

"Well, now, that you mention it, we do! I don't know if Hajime's mentioned it to you at all, but we're actually going to be in Tokyo this coming weekend, Kyo and I!"

"Really!" Mutsuki made sure he sounded suitably surprised. "What's the occasion?"

Tohru hesitated. "Well, it's not exactly an occasion, I wouldn't say." She paused for a moment, then asked, "Mutsuki, Hajime hasn't mentioned anything going on with Master Kazuma lately, has he?"

"Master Kazuma?" Hajime and Mutsuki were exchanging a look, surprise and concern mingling in both of their eyes.

"Yes. Master Kazuma actually asked if we could visit, so we are. And he told Kyo it was nothing to worry about, but when you get a question like that-"

"-It's hard not to worry, naturally," Mutsuki agreed. "Well, if it helps at all, Aunt Tohru, Hajime was at dinner with Master Kazuma yesterday and at karate class last Tuesday, and he never said anything about anything seeming wrong. Maybe Master Kazuma just misses you guys and wants to see you!"

"Maybe," Tohru said, her voice thoughtful. "Still, that's good to know, thank you, Mutsuki. And I'm looking forward to a chance to see you both!"

"I'm glad to hear I'm included in your visit!"

"Of course you are, you know Kyo and I are always happy to see you!"

"Well, you maybe," Mutsuki teased, and Tohru laughed.

"Kyo too, I promise. And we're planning to see your parents, too."

"Mom and Dad'll be happy to see you guys, Dad was just saying recently how much he was looking forward to your New Year's visit."

He could almost hear Tohru's smile over the phone, and that made him smile, too.

"Well, I'm glad. But now, I'm sorry, Mutsuki, but I need to get going. We're about to start a game, and everyone is waiting for me."

"Don't let me keep you, it was nice talking! And it'll be great to see you this weekend."

"Have a good day!"

As Mutsuki hung up the phone, he exhaled, then looked at Hajime, who was frowning.

"So they're coming because Grandpa asked them to?" Hajime asked, his brow furrowed. "Grandpa never said a word to me about that yesterday."

"Maybe he hadn't asked them yet, or made up his mind. Or maybe he asked them a while ago and forgot?"

"Maybe, but I doubt it, unless it took Dad a while to sort out work stuff. They would have let me know they were coming as soon as they knew, I'm pretty sure."

Hajime's brain was working a mile a minute, wishing Tohru had said when Kazuma had issued the invitation.

And why.

"What do you think it's about?" Mutsuki asked, looking at Hajime, and Hajime swallowed.

He wished he had a better guess, he really did. It was possible Kazuma had something else he wanted to talk to his parents about, something else he'd want to discuss with them. Something completely unconnected to Hajime.

But he didn't.

"Grandpa?"

It was Tuesday afternoon, and karate had just wrapped up. Kazuma had been speaking with a couple of his students, but he turned when he heard Hajime's voice.

"Yes, Hajime?"

"I was just wondering, do you have a couple minutes to talk?"

Kazuma looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "Of course." Excusing himself from the other students, Kazuma and Hajime left the practice room and headed down the hall together, eventually ending up in Kazuma's office. And as soon was the door was closed, Hajime looked up at him.

"Why did you ask Mom and Dad to come to Tokyo?"

Kazuma hadn't expected Hajime to start out on the offensive, and at first, he was caught off guard by the question. But he recovered quickly; he’d always been good at sparring.

"I wanted to talk to them, and I felt it would be best to have this particular conversation in person."

Hajime took a breath, then asked him, "Is it about me?"

Kazuma was silent for a long minute. He hadn't told Hajime he'd asked Kyo to come, and he hadn't intended to, either. While he'd made up his mind as to what he planned to do, actually telling Hajime made things seem much more real.

But maybe 'real' was what he needed.

"No," he said quietly, looking at Hajime, "It's about me."

Hajime's eyes widened, and he stared at Kazuma. It was still possible Kazuma was going to talk to them about something unrelated, but...

"After our conversation the other night, Hajime, I was thinking about what you said, for a very long time," said Kazuma. "And as distressing as it is to admit...I believe you were correct. Not about everything, mind you," he said, giving Hajime a little smile. "But you were right that I've perhaps been...unfair. That keeping my relationship with Kunimitsu hidden from them might not have been the best decision. So," he said, looking at Hajime, "I've decided to tell them."

Hajime was stunned, and at first, he couldn't say anything. Then finally, he blurted out,

"Just like that?"

Kazuma laughed. "Well, not just like that. I'll be slightly less blunt, I'm sure."

"That's not what I meant, Grandpa," Hajime grumbled, and Kazuma's smile faded into a more serious expression.

"I know, Hajime. But honestly...yes. I've been telling myself for a very long time that I didn't need to say anything, because it didn't matter. Now, though, knowing how much it does?"

The look Kazuma gave Hajime was meaningful, and Hajime blushed and looked down.

"I don't want you to feel you have to do anything on my account, Grandpa," he said quietly. "I know I said some things the other night, but-"

"-It's not just because of you, Hajime, and on that you have my word. I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope this helps you, but after talking with you, and talking with Kunimitsu, and thinking about it quite a bit myself, this is something I need to do. Your father has never hesitated to share things with me, and to give me a chance to be happy for him. I owe him that, in return."

Kazuma's voice was largely controlled, and almost as placid as ever. But Hajime knew his grandfather well enough to tell that something was a little 'off,' and after a minute, he silently reached out and gave Kazuma a hug. And as Kazuma returned it, he had to smile.

This was the right decision.

It had to be.

That night, Mutsuki and Hajime both lay on Hajime's bedroom floor in silence after Hajime told Mutsuki about his conversation with Kazuma. Hajime's eyes were downcast, looking at his textbooks without seeing them, and Mutsuki's were on Hajime, his expression thoughtful.

Neither one of them spoke, for a very long time.

Finally, Hajime exhaled. "I just...can't believe it, you know? After going so long without ever saying anything to anyone, Grandpa spends one night thinking about things, and suddenly he's ready to talk?"

"Well, Master Kazuma's always been a pretty decisive guy, hasn't he?" Mutsuki asked? "Once he's made up his mind on things, he tends to follow through."

"Yes, but...I don't know, I would have thought he'd spend more time thinking about it than this."

Mutsuki sat up. "Don't you think that's a good sign though, Hajime?"

Hajime gave him a confused look. "How?"

"Because it means he believes what he told you," Mutsuki said, pulling one knee to his chest and looking at Hajime. "If he's so ready to talk, just like that, then he has to think your parents are going to take it well."

"Or he doesn't, and he just wants to get it over with quickly so he can deal with the fallout," Hajime said glumly.

Mutsuki rolled his eyes and scooted over to Hajime, resting a hand on his back and rubbing it.

"Hajime Sohma, when did you become such a pessimist?"

"I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist."

"No, you're a pessimist, and a worrywart. It's not even you talking to them, and you're still freaking out."

Hajime was quiet again, and Mutsuki sighed.

"This is a good thing, Hajime. Master Kazuma wants to do it, and you be able to see yourself that it's not a big deal to your parents. Then you can come out, tell them we're dating, we can all have dinner together, your mom can gush about what great taste you have in men..."

Hajime was smiling in spite of himself, and Mutsuki grinned as he leaned down and kissed him.

"You know none of this is going to be that easy, right Mutsuki?" Hajime asked when Mutsuki sat up again, and Mutsuki shrugged.

"Not necessarily. I'm not trying to downplay your worries, Hajime, really, I'm not. But knowing your parents, I'm pretty sure it all could be that easy. Especially that last part, Aunt Tohru loves me!"

Hajime chuckled, propping his head up on his hand and looking at Mutsuki.

"Well, there's no accounting for taste, I guess."

"Says the guy who's actually dating me. What's that say about you?"

"It says I take after my mom, duh." Hajime was grinning, but then his expression got serious. "I just hope that Grandpa is doing this because he wants to, not because of me. That's what he told me...but I don't know if I can believe him."

"Sometimes you have to just take people at their word, Hajime. And honestly, I think it'd do you good to try and do that more, especially people who you've always been able to trust. I mean, clearly you should take anything Sora tells you with a grain of salt," Mutsuki said, earning a chuckle from Hajime, "But Master Kazuma? Your dad? Me?" he demanded, giving Hajime a puppy-eyed look.

Hajime shoved at Mutsuki with his elbow.

"Even you don't trust what you say half the time, Mutsuki."

"I do when I'm being serious," Mutsuki said solemnly, and Hajime chuckled again. "But seriously, Hajime, I mean it. Try to be a little more trusting, and you might be surprised at how much happier you are."

Hajime thought about that, then gave Mutsuki a little smile. "No promises...but I'll try, ok?"

"Good enough, for now."

Chapter Text

On Friday evening, three different couples were having three somewhat similar conversations.

"Master Kazuma hasn't given you any more hints of why he wanted to see us?" Tohru asked, snuggling into Kyo's side as the two of them watched the night race by through their bullet train window.

Kyo shook his head. "Nope, not on Sunday, not the second time on Sunday, and not today, either. Just that he's looking forward to seeing us tomorrow and that the room'll be ready for us when we get in tonight."

Tohru sighed, playing with the fingers of the arm he had draped around her shoulders.

"It all just seems so strange," she said after a minute. "Hajime and Mutsuki didn't have any thoughts, either, and I have to say it all makes me pretty nervous."

"Me too," Kyo was quiet for a moment, then he looked at Tohru. "Though I gotta say, Tohru...I've been thinking, and I kinda wonder if it's about the dojo."

"The dojo?" Tohru asked, looking up at him in surprise. "What about the dojo?"

He glanced out the window for a moment, staring out into the darkness.

"Its future. Dad's sixty-four, you know, and while I doubt he's slowing down any time soon, it might be he wants to finally start talking about things."

Tohru was silent, looking down at the floor as she processed that suggestion. Much as she wanted to deny the reality of Kazuma getting older, it was happening. It was only that past summer that Kyo's master, Sensei Kenichi, had retired from active karate practice at the dojo where Kyo had worked since graduating high school, and while Sensei Kenichi was fifteen years older than Kazuma, it had still been a jarring reminder of the inevitable progression of time.

Sometimes she really hated that passage of time.

Eventually, she looked up to see Kyo still staring out the window, his expression contemplative, and she sighed. If that was why they were going, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. And talking about it didn't mean anything for the present.

No decisions had to be made, not yet.

Still...she couldn't honestly say what would be better at that point: wondering why Kazuma had asked them to visit, or knowing.

"Tohru and Kyo get on the train ok, Kazuma?" Kunimitsu asked as the two of them sat at the table, eating their usual late Friday supper.

Kazuma nodded. "Kyo set me a text a little while ago to say they'd just left Hirosaki, so they should be getting into Tokyo just before twelve-thirty." At Kunimitsu's grimace Kazuma laughed, adding, "they aren't expecting us to wait up for them, either."

"Good," Kunimitsu said with a relieved sigh, then looked at Kazuma. "So...what's your plan for tomorrow?"

Kazuma was looking at his food. "Well, I plan to get up at five, meditate, do my kata, then there should be a little time for breakfast before class-"

Kunimitsu laughed. "You know what I meant, Kazuma, but thanks. Good to know you're doing the exact same things you do literally every Saturday morning."

Kazuma chuckled, then looked at Kunimitsu with a slightly more serious expression.

"I thought that I would talk to Kyo after morning classes are over. There are nearly two hours before we'd be eating lunch, hopefully that's enough time for us to talk and for him to...process everything. I understand that Tohru will be visiting Akito tomorrow morning, so it will be a good chance to speak to Kyo alone, which, frankly, I believe is the right decision."

Kunimitsu nodded. "Yeah, I think it'll be best if it's just you two, at least at first. Though you know if you change your mind, I'm happy to be there with you," he said, giving Kazuma an affectionate smile.

"Thank you," Kazuma said softly, then exhaled. "Though at this point I decline, it would likely be best if you stay close. It's probable that Kyo will want to talk to you, too."

"Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised," Kunimitsu said ruefully. "Honestly, I'm pretty sure that the weirdest part isn't going to be that you're gay, Kazuma, it's going to be that you're with me."

Kazuma chuckled. "Yes...that's quite likely to be true."

"So what are you thinking for tomorrow, Hajime?" Mutsuki asked, looking down at Hajime as he lay with his head in Mutsuki's lap. "Have you talked to your dad at all?"

Hajime shook his head slightly, his eyes closed as he tried to focus on the gentle sensation of Mutsuki's fingertips rubbing his temples.

"Not since Sunday. I figured I'd go over in the late morning, probably; Mom told me yesterday she's going to be at Akito's in the morning, but she was going to be back for lunch. So maybe I can help with that, and then...I don't know."

Mutsuki studied him. "Do you know when Master Kazuma plans to talk to them?"

"Knowing Grandpa, I'd guess early; he doesn't like to leave things undone if he can help it. I don't know for sure, but I'd bet he'd want to talk to Dad alone first, then talk to Mom later. So it could be something he does first thing in the morning, when he and Dad would be getting up to work out, but I think it'd probably be later, after the morning classes are over."

Mutsuki was thoughtful. "So you want to be there when you think your dad and grandpa are talking?"

"Yes," Hajime said. "No matter what Grandpa says, at least part of why he's doing this is because of me," he said quietly. "And I want to be there to support him, if...it goes wrong." he said, swallowing hard. "And I guess I just want to be there, period, to see...how things are, afterwards."

All of that made sense to Mutsuki, even if still found the idea of anything 'going wrong' comically laughable.

"I guess that answers the question of whether you've thought about this at all, then."

Hajime opened his eyes and squinted up at Mutsuki, who laughed at him.

"Kidding, kidding! Believe me, Hajime, I'm surprised your head hasn't burst into flames with how much stressing you've been doing."

Hajime knew Mutsuki used that word on purpose, and he didn't appreciate it. But at the same time...

"I'm sorry, Mutsuki. I know you've got to be sick of me by now."

"Of you? Never. Of your overblown and totally baseless worries? Completely."

Hajime chuckled, closing his eyes once more. "So complimentary."

"I know, right? You're so lucky to have me."

The next morning, as late as they'd gotten in, Kyo still got up at five, and when he went downstairs he found Kazuma in the kitchen.

"Hey Dad," Kyo said, giving him a hug. "Good to see you!"

Kazuma noticed the scrutiny in Kyo's expression despite his cheerful voice, and he sighed internally. He'd hated worrying Kyo, and he knew that regardless of what he'd told him, Kyo would nevertheless be worrying. Then again, Kazuma would have been worrying too, if the situations were reversed, so he could hardly blame him.

"It's wonderful to see you too, Kyo," Kazuma said, smiling warmly. "I'm glad you and Tohru were able to make the trip, as short notice as it was."

"Yeah, well, it's nice to be here," Kyo said with his own smile, somewhat relieved by the fact he couldn't see anything obviously wrong with Kazuma. "It was probably the most relaxing trip we've had in ages, given it was just the two of us."

Kazuma laughed. "Yes, I imagine it was a much more peaceful trip this time around, without having to listen to any...spirited discussions."

"Spirited discussions?" Kyo said, looking at him in amusement. "Sounds like you've been talking to Sachi, Dad; that sounds exactly like what she'd call a fight to get outta trouble."

They both chuckled at that, then looked at each other.

"So, I was gonna head out for a run, then I figured I'd meet you in the dojo, probably close to seven?" Kyo asked, looking at Kazuma, who nodded.

"That sounds good, Kyo. And I thought, maybe, that after classes are over, you and I could go to my office and talk."

It was part of their normal routine; almost every visit, the two of them would end up out in Kazuma's office soon after arrival. As much as Kazuma loved Tohru and all three of his grandchildren, it was always nice to start things off with a little time with just Kyo.

Hopefully today would follow that pattern and still be 'nice,' in the end.

Kyo's expression was serious as he nodded.

"Yeah, of course."

Kazuma exhaled, then gave Kyo what he hoped was a normal-looking smile.

"In that case, I hope you have a good time on your run."

That day, for the first time in Kazuma's memory, he had trouble focusing during karate class. The early class was for dans only, and Kazuma was grateful that precedent usually had him rotating who led while Kazuma himself either participated or observed. Today he was ostensibly observing, but Kazuma had the sneaking suspicion that anyone who looked at him could tell he was distracted.

He knew that was the case with both Kyo and Kunimitsu, each of whose eyes he tried to avoid. Instead, he tried his best to focus on the other dans, watching the sparring practically without seeing.

The next class was a mixed class, and that time Kazuma managed to be a bit more attentive, especially after one of the younger students asked,

"Sensei, are you feeling ok?"

But he didn't know whether he was relieved or not when class ended and everyone had bowed out. Taking a deep breath, he looked over at Kyo.

"Why don't you head along to my office, Kyo? I'll be just another minute."

Kyo was watching him with that same scrutinizing expression he'd had earlier, and Kazuma tried to look natural. Then Kyo nodded, turning to leave the practice room. Kunimitsu followed, but not before giving Kazuma an encouraging smile.

"It's all gonna work out fine, Kazuma, just you watch."

"Breathe, Hajime, ok? Breathe, and at least try to smile?"

Hajime knew the advice was coming from a place of care, but it was hard not to glare at Mutsuki as the two of them made their way from their house to the dojo.

"I am breathing, Mutsuki, and I'll smile, don't worry. The last thing I want is to have Mom harping on me because she's worried about me," Hajime said with a sigh. "Hopefully she's too distracted by wondering what's going on with Grandpa to notice if I'm a bit off."

Privately, Mutsuki thought Hajime was more than a bit off; he was carrying so much tension in his shoulders that he was practically hunched. But Mutsuki had to admit that Hajime had a point; Tohru had never been the best at multitasking when she had something worrying her

Kind of like her son, really.

But Mutsuki also knew there was no point in emphasizing to Hajime that he was stressed; there was no way Hajime didn't already know, and dwelling on it was just going to make him even more stressed.

Mutsuki would have liked to have held his hand, but since that wasn't an option, he simply patted his shoulder.

"It's all going to be fine, Hajime, I'm sure of it. You've got nothing to worry about."

Not on Kazuma's behalf, or his own, either.

When the two of them got to Kazuma's house it was mostly empty.

"Hey, you two," Kunimitsu greeted them when they walked into the living room. "Sorry, Hajime, you're a bit early. Your mom's at the main house and wasn't gonna be back until closer to lunch...and your dad's out in the dojo with Kazuma," he said, trying to look and sound nonchalant.

He wasn't convincing.

Hajime exhaled, then sat down at the table along with Mutsuki.

"Mom'll probably back in time to make lunch, if she didn't say anything otherwise, and...yes, I guessed that about Dad," he admitted, swallowing hard. "I wanted to be here for Grandpa, just in case."

Kunimitsu smiled, reaching out and giving Hajime a pat.

"You're a good kid, Hajime, and I'm sure Kazuma'll appreciate the thought. But he's not going to need it, you do know that, right? And neither are you, when the time comes," he said, giving Hajime a smile that made him blush.

Mutsuki was nodding sagely. "See, that's what I keep telling him, too, Kunimitsu, but he just won't believe me! And I'm so very trustworthy."

Hajime's blush darkened as he looked at Mutsuki.

"This isn't a joke, Mutsuki,"

"I'm not joking, Hajime," Mutsuki told him firmly. "As you really ought to know by now, if you've been paying attention to me lately at all."

Kunimitsu was struggling not to laugh, and Hajime turned his blushing face away from Mutsuki to glare at the older man.

"What?"

"Nothing," Kunimitsu said. "I just think you two are adorable, that's all," he said with a teasing smile.

"Aww, thanks, Kunimitsu!" Mutsuki said, beaming at him while Hajime just groaned.

Maybe letting Mutsuki come had been a bad idea.

Rising to his feet, Hajime gave the two of them a cold look.

"I think I'm going to go sit upstairs for a while, actually."

Kunimitsu's smile quickly fell. "I'm sorry, Hajime, you know I'd never-"

"-It's ok, Kunimitsu," Hajime said, managing a small smile. "I'm not mad...not really," he corrected. "I just wish I could laugh about any of this, but since I can't, I'm going to see if I can at least clear my head."

Mutsuki's expression was apologetic. "You want any company? I promise, I'll be quiet."

Hajime shook his head. "Not right now, no. You two can talk, that's fine, but I think I need to be alone for a little bit."

Out in the dojo, Kyo and Kazuma both knelt in Kazuma's office, Kazuma's expression calm but his eyes anxious as he looked at Kyo, whose face was bright red and who currently couldn't meet Kazuma's gaze.

"So..." Kyo said after what felt like an eternity, "You've always liked...guys. Just guys?"

Kazuma nodded. "Yes, that's right. There were times I made an effort with women, obviously, but nothing ever came of them, which in retrospect is hardly surprising."

"Mmm-hmm," Kyo said, his brow furrowed, and Kazuma could tell that he was trying hard to make sense of what he was hearing.

Kazuma could hardly blame him; out of literally everything Kyo possibly could have imagined Kazuma wanting to talk about, Kazuma was fairly confident this had never been on Kyo's radar.

Finally, Kyo looked back at Kazuma. "You've known...for a while?"

Kazuma cracked a small smile at that.

"Longer than you've been alive, so yes. Though knowing and accepting are two different things."

Kyo thought about that, then glanced back at him. "Have you...accepted it for long?"

Kazuma was silent for a minute, it being his turn to consider.

Long?

"Long enough," Kazuma said quietly. Kyo was looking at him, and Kazuma could see the follow-up question forming, so he finally admitted, "Twenty-one years."

Kyo's eyes bugged slightly at that, and he stared incredulously at Kazuma.

"Twenty-one years?"

"Yes, that's correct," Kazuma said softly, hoping he didn't look or sound too anxious as he took in the surprise and confusion on Kyo's face.

"You never said anything," Kyo said finally. "Never so much as a hint."

"No," Kazuma agreed. "I never thought it mattered."

Kyo took a deep breath, then was silent again. After a little while he glanced back at Kazuma and asked, his voice hesitant,

"'Cause you never thought...there'd be anyone?"

Kazuma shook his head. "No."

Kyo frowned, trying to process that, then sharply flicked his eyes back to Kazuma.

"Has there been someone? Or is there? That why you're finally telling me, 'cause you've met someone?"

Kazuma couldn't hold Kyo's gaze any longer, and his eyes dropped to the floor. Suddenly his choices, the reasons he'd always believed in, seemed ridiculous...and selfish.

He'd never had reason to doubt Kyo, he knew that. But even if Kazuma didn't exactly doubt him, he hadn't let him in, either.

"Yes, there is someone," he said finally. "And there has been someone, for quite some time."

He could feel Kyo's eyes on him, and hear the tension in Kyo's voice as he asked,

"How long?"

Kazuma took a breath and looked up.

"Twenty-one years."

The silence in the office was so absolute that it was almost painful, then Kyo repeated, his voice almost cracking,

"Twenty-one years?"

Kazuma nodded, and Kyo exhaled and sat back on his heels, then repeated, his gaze now an accusatory glare,

"Twenty-one years. You've had someone, a...boyfriend?" he said, stumbling slightly over the word, "Or partner? Sorry, I dunno-"

"-We've always just used 'partner,' if that helps," Kazuma said quietly, and Kyo grabbed gratefully for the word.

"You've had a...partner...for twenty-one years, and you've never told me? That's longer'n I've been married, Dad!"

Years of practice and growth had meant that Kyo no longer lost his temper easily, but Kazuma knew his son well enough to tell just how upset he was. Kyo wasn't yelling, but his voice was nevertheless raised, his body was shaking, and his fists were clenched.

"What'd you say?" Kyo continued, looking at Kazuma with anger and hurt in his eyes. "You never thought it mattered? Why wouldn't it matter, you finding someone? You know how much I wanted you to have someone, Dad, you know how much I hated you being alone! Yeah, I can't say I figured it'd be a guy," he said, reddening and briefly looking down, "But if that's...if that's who you are, and you're happy? Both of you? Then I'm happy for you. And I always would've been happy for you," he continued, his eyes suddenly sad.

Then Kyo sighed, looking at Kazuma. "How come you never told me?" he asked, and Kazuma almost winced away from the obvious pain he heard there. "I can understand...why you kept it quiet, overall," he admitted, looking away. Kyo had spent his entire life in the dojo world, too, and he understood. "But me, Dad? Me?"

Kazuma was looking down once more.

"I don't know," he said at last, his voice heavy. "I always told myself that because it wouldn't change anything, it didn't matter if you knew-"

"-So?" Kyo burst out, his eyes flashing. "So it doesn't change anything, fat whoop. You never even gave me a chance! You've always supported me...always been there for me...always done...so much for me," he said, his voice actually breaking under the weight of his emotion. "And when I could've been there for you, supported you for a change, you just...kept it from me?"

Kyo lapsed into silence, and once more the room felt almost oppressively close. Finally, Kyo's voice came again, quietly.

"Have I...met him, Dad? Your...partner?"

Kyo was stumbling, but he was trying.

And Kazuma couldn't help the small smile from forming on his face.

"Yes, you've met him. You've known him for a very long time."

"Twenty-one years?" Kyo asked, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice and Kazuma winced slightly as he shook his head.

"Longer. Though you've always seemed to like him, so hopefully that excuses at least some of this."

He could see Kyo's brow furrowing in thought, could see Kyo trying to figure out who it could be. Then Kyo's expression became shocked, incredulous, and unbelieving.

Kazuma was pretty sure he'd figured it out, but he wasn't going to leave anything to chance.

"He's been in favor of telling you for some time, Kyo, so don't blame Kunimitsu," Kazuma said quietly. "The reluctance has been entirely on my side."

"Kunimitsu," Kyo repeated his expression numb. "Kunimitsu?"

"Yes," Kazuma said. "Kunimitsu."

Kyo exhaled heavily. "For twenty-one years?" he repeated, and Kazuma could see he was trying to figure out the timeline.

"Yes. Since the day I took Tohru to see Katashi, before Shigure and Akito's wedding." A day that Kyo remembered all too well, and still made his eyes flash in anger, even now. "I was upset too, that day, you know," Kazuma said softly, and Kyo nodded. "Upset about everything that had happened, about Tohru being hurt, about you being hurt...I lost my temper," Kazuma admittedly with a wry smile. "Kunimitsu listened to me while I...ranted," he said with a laugh. "Looking back, I must have seemed almost deranged; I don't think I'd been so explosively angry in decades. But he listened, and he let me vent. And then...he held me when I cried. And things...happened."

Kyo turned red at that, and after a moment Kazuma did too, when he realized what he'd just implied.

"Not like that! Nothing like that. Just...a small action, in a moment of weakness, that otherwise shouldn't have happened. But it was enough," Kazuma said with a small smile, thinking back.

"Before that, Kyo, I'd spent my entire life fighting to ignore...that part of myself. As you know, it's not something that fits in this world of ours," he said with a sigh. "And I've always known that, and accepted that. Believe me, it was not...something I was proud of," he said, looking down. "But suddenly, I didn't have to hide it anymore, not with everyone. Not with him."

"You didn't need to hide it from me, either, Dad," Kyo said quietly. "Though really...Kunimitsu?" he asked, attempting a smile, and Kazuma actually laughed at his teasing tone. "You know that guy's a total jackass, right? Pretty sure you can do way better, if you tried."

Kazuma chuckled. "Well, I personally feel that I've done wonderfully, Kyo, but I appreciate the vote of confidence."

"Kunimitsu," Kyo repeated, shaking his head in amazement. "All this time, you guys've been...together, and you've never let on. And I never noticed," he said, half to himself.

"Well, that's hardly surprising, Kyo," Kazuma said. "You've known both of us for so long, it makes sense you'd keep viewing us the way you always had. Unless you had reason to suspect something, why would you have guessed?"

Kyo could understand that, he supposed, and his face was thoughtful as he attempted to wrap his brain around it. Finally, he glanced back at Kazuma's face.

"Are you...happy, Dad? With the way things are, with you guys?"

Kazuma exhaled again, then smiled. "We are. I know it's not quite the way you and Tohru do things, but you know I've never been excessively demonstrative. Kunimitsu and I both enjoy having our space, even from one another. He's never felt the urge to travel with me, and is happy to manage the dojo in my absences. So yes, we are happy," he repeated, and his smile was genuine.

"Well, good," Kyo said, smiling tentatively at him. Then he sighed, and his face once again became sad.

"I wish you would've told me, Dad. I would've been happy for you. I am happy for you," he quickly amended. "I just...I don't get why you never told me. Did you think...I'd be mad at you? Or...freaked out? Or...something?"

Once more, the pain was obvious in Kyo's face, and Kazuma had to look away.

"No, Kyo, never. I've never doubted you, not...really," Kazuma said. "At least, not consciously."

"Not consciously," Kyo repeated. "So...you did?"

"I don't know," Kazuma finally admitted. "I always told myself that you'd be fine with it, it just...didn't make sense to tell you, because as I said, nothing would change. You already know Kunimitsu, he's already a part of our family and lives-"

"There's a pretty big difference between a friend and a...partner, Dad," Kyo said, his voice almost a growl. "Considering what Tohru and I went through to be together, pretty sure you'd know I felt that, too."

"I know," Kazuma admitted. "And I wish I could give you a better answer. But I'm telling you now," he said softly, looking at Kyo.

"Yeah," Kyo said finally. "You are. And I guess I'm grateful for that, even if it's over two decades late," he said, his voice so disgruntled that once again Kazuma laughed. Then Kyo leaned forward, and Kazuma broke into a big, relieved smile as Kyo hugged him.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty pissed you waited so long to speak up," Kyo said gruffly, holding Kazuma close. "But I'm glad you told me, eventually."

Kazuma was beaming as he hugged Kyo. "That's fair, I suppose...and I'm glad, too."

The two of them sat out in the dojo for a while longer, talking. About Kazuma and Kunimitsu, and about Kazuma's plan to tell Tohru later that day.

Kyo told Kazuma to expect Tohru to be surprised, ecstatic, and reproachful, in that order.

"She's gonna be pissed you didn't tell us, too, you know how much she loves any kind of romance."

But Kazuma only laughed, feeling far too light after his conversation with Kyo to be too bothered by the idea of Tohru's wrath.

"If she is, I can admit I deserve it. And hopefully she'll forgive me, eventually."

"Pretty sure she will, considering it's Tohru," Kyo said, rising to his feet. "But we probably oughtta head back to the house, she'll be back any time and it'll be time for lunch. We oughtta shower and change, too," he said, glancing down at their gis, and Kazuma nodded.

"You can go ahead, Kyo; I'll be along in just a few minutes."

Nodding, Kyo stood up and left the room. And Kazuma took another big breath...then smiled.

Kunimitsu had been right. Telling Kyo had been important.

And he was glad he'd done it, even if it had taken twenty-one years.

"Hello!"

Hajime blinked sleepily, staring up at the ceiling and into Mutsuki's amused face as he crouched beside him. For a moment he was confused, then he groaned and shoved himself to a sitting position.

"Damnit, how long was I sleeping?"

It figured; trust him to pass out and nap when he was a bundle of nerves.

Mutsuki shrugged. "You tell me, I only just found you. But It's been over an hour and a half since you came up here, so...that, minus however long you were sitting up here thinking."

Hajime sighed, taking the hand Mutsuki offered him and pulling to his feet.

"Is anyone back yet?"

Mutsuki shook his head. "No, but Kunimitsu figures it should be any time, especially Aunt Tohru. He's just starting lunch prep for her, and while I offered to help-"

Hajime snorted at that. "-He kicked you out, didn't he? Smart man."

Mutsuki huffed in mock-affront. "None of you give me enough credit, you know. I'm sure that if I actually got a real, decent chance to practice-"

"-You'd still burn down the whole house," Hajime finished, and Mutsuki stuck his tongue out at him before smiling.

"You look like you're in a better mood; that nap must have been just what you needed."

Hajime couldn't argue that he felt better, and he smiled back.

"Yes...I feel a lot better. I don't know, Mutsuki, maybe you guys are right. Grandpa was so confident...that has to mean something, right?"

"Right," Mutsuki said, beaming. "Also, I'm making note of the date; you just told me I was right, did you know that?"

"I said maybe you were right," Hajime began, only for Mutsuki to hold a finger to his lips.

"Don't go ruining it with your technicalities. The important thing is that I was right, and you admitted it. To me, even, which you never do."

"Because your giant ego can't handle it, as evidenced by your giant ego not handling it," Hajime said, catching Mutsuki's hand and moving it away from his face. "And again, I said maybe."

"Good enough," Mutsuki said softly, and Hajime smiled.

As Mutsuki leaned close and kissed him, Hajime found himself agreeing; for now, at least, 'maybe' was good enough.

And Hajime was still smiling when they broke the kiss and he opened his eyes...only to look past Mutsuki's head to the open doorway, where his gaze immediately met Kyo's shell-shocked stare.

Chapter Text

When Kyo walked out of the dojo proper to head to Kazuma's house, he was so deep in thought that he didn't notice Tohru until she latched onto his arm.

"Kyo?" she asked, and he realized from the way she said his name that she had to be repeating herself. Smiling sheepishly, he covered her hand with his other one and gave her a squeeze.

"Hey, sorry Tohru, I didn't see you there. You have a nice visit with Akito?"

"I did," she said, eyeing him anxiously. "Did you and Master Kazuma talk?"

Kyo didn't even know where to begin with that, other than to tell her the very simplest truths.

"Yeah, we did. And it wasn't about the dojo, either, so we don't gotta think about that for a little while yet."

Tohru was still giving him that same anxious look, and he gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Everything's ok, Tohru, I promise. And Dad wants to talk to you about...it...later today too, so you're not gonna be in the dark for long."

He could tell from her expression that she wanted to know more, but he also knew she wasn't going to push it. And after a moment, she nodded, simply leaning her head against his upper arm as the two of them walked the rest of the way across to Kazuma's house.

Kyo appreciated the fact that she was silent after that, as the silence allowed him a little more time to process...everything.

To say he'd been surprised was an understatement. Not once, in Kyo's entire life, had he ever entertained even the slightest suspicion that Kazuma was gay; if anything, he'd wondered if his father just had no sex drive at all. He'd hated that Kazuma had been alone, and he had told Kazuma as much at a couple different points in his life. But Kazuma had always laughed him off, and he'd told Kyo that he was perfectly content with things the way they were.

But all this time...twenty-one years, Kazuma and Kunimitsu had been...a couple. That part was harder to process than the rest of it, honestly; Kyo had known Kunimitsu since he was a little kid, back when Kunimitsu himself was only a teenager. Kunimitsu had been one of the truly nice ones; one of the students who'd never seemed to resent Kyo's presence at the dojo, or his demands on Kazuma. He'd become Kazuma's assistant when Kyo was ten, and they'd made a lot of good memories together; it still made Kyo smile, thinking of learning how to cook at Kunimitsu's side, both of them barking at Kazuma to stay out of the way and out of trouble.

In a lot of ways, Kunimitsu had been like the big brother Kyo had never had. And in his own way, Kyo had always loved him.

Though apparently Kazuma loved him too, in a very different way, and Kyo had to admit it would take some time to get used to the idea.

But at least now, he finally had the chance.

As he and Tohru stepped into the entryway, they both smiled at the sight of the two additional pairs of shoes: a familiar pair of slip-on sneakers and some black flats.

"Oh, how wonderful, Hajime is already here!" Tohru said excitedly as she looked at the shoes, then at the coats hanging on the entryway wall. "And Mutsuki too! I can't wait to see both of them," she said, beaming as she slipped off her own shoes and hung up her coat.

Kyo was happy, too, though he could have done with a little time with just Hajime before dealing with Mutsuki. Still, he wasn't about to complain, and he couldn't help but smile at Tohru's enthusiasm.

"Yeah, it'll be great to see 'em and hear how things're going," he agreed. "I'm gonna run upstairs and grab a quick shower and change first, though, ok, Tohru? You oughtta have enough help in the kitchen between Hajime and Kunimitsu, I doubt you need me today."

Tohru smiled and patted his cheek.

"I wasn't going to say anything, but a shower is a good idea."

"You saying I stink?" he teased, and she laughed and started down the hall to the kitchen.

"Just go shower, Kyo!"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, smiling, and headed up the stairs. He just needed to duck into their room first and grab his clothes.

It was force of habit, nothing more. The room opposite the bathroom door in the middle of the hall had been his room growing up, it had been the room he and Tohru stayed in from the time Hajime was born all the way up until two years ago, when Hajime had moved into the dojo and taken it over. Even though Hajime had been living in Shigure's old house since his second year of high school, Kazuma had insisted that Hajime 'keep' the room, so that if he ever needed or wanted to be alone for a while, he could come and still have 'his' room at the dojo. Tohru and Kyo agreed, so even when Hajime wasn't there, they kept using their 'new' room whenever they came to visit.

But Kyo automatically turned in at the door to his old room, the way habit and reflex always made him want to, especially with the door standing wide open like it was. And inside the room...

Kyo couldn't process what he was seeing at first. Hajime, definitely Hajime. And there could only be one person with that shaggy silvery grey hair, unless Yuki had suddenly shrunk. They were standing in the middle of the room, one of Mutsuki's hands caught in Hajime's and held slightly to the side...and oh yeah, they were definitely kissing.

Kyo felt like it lasted an eternity, but it had to have been only a few seconds. Then Mutsuki leaned back and Hajime opened his eyes, a soft, loving, affectionate smile on his face...before his eyes shifted over and locked onto Kyo's, widening first in shock, and then abject horror.

Everything had been so good for a few minutes there. Hajime had actually felt confident, and hopeful. He'd laughed. He'd smiled.

But now...

Hajime felt like everything was happening in slow motion. All he could see was Kyo's amber-red eyes, those eyes wide and staring at Hajime in a combination of shock and stunned disbelief. He was vaguely aware of Mutsuki's sudden look of confusion, of the almost painfully slow way Mutsuki whirled around to see Kyo, too.

Of the way Hajime felt like his heart had just plummeted through the floor.

Hajime couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe, and he couldn't stand there in the face of Kyo's starkly staring eyes.

He couldn't take it.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this!

Wrenching his hand away from Mutsuki's, Hajime pushed past Kyo and dashed out of the room and down the hall, thundering down the stairs and racing for the entryway as fast as he could. He was aware of voices behind him, but he couldn't tell who was talking or what they were saying; he couldn't hear past the roaring of blood in his ears. With shaking hands he snatched his coat and stuffed his feet into his shoes, yanking the door open and charging out of the house and across the dojo courtyard as fast as his trembling legs could carry him.

How fast such a sweet moment had turned sour. Hajime had looked so happy when Mutsuki had pulled away, that soft, loving look Mutsuki knew and loved so well on his face before everything fell apart. Hajime's expression had turned to horror so fast it had almost given Mutsuki whiplash, but when he turned to see why, he had understood.

But before Mutsuki had a chance to think of anything to do or even say, Hajime was off, shoving past Kyo and loudly clattering down the stairs.

Kyo was clearly stunned, given that he could hardly move. At first he'd stared after Hajime, his expression reflecting complete bewilderment, then he turned back to stare at Mutsuki.

But Mutsuki didn't have time for that, not right now. It had only been seconds, ten, twenty seconds if that, but that was probably enough of a head start for Hajime with panic, adrenaline, and his natural speed on his side. Suddenly realizing what was happening, Mutsuki cursed, then he ducked past Kyo himself, charging down the stairs and jumping the last few to land with a 'thud' at the bottom.

"Mutsuki? What's going on?"

He heard Tohru's anxious voice behind him, but he didn't answer her, instead calling out "Hajime?' just before the front door slammed.

Of course.

Skidding down the hall, Mutsuki quickly saw that Hajime's things were gone and cursed again, yanking on his own shoes and grabbing his own coat before slamming out the door himself, sprinting across the courtyard as fast as he could.

He doubted he could catch Hajime, but at least he'd be close behind him.

Kyo felt like he'd been immobilized. He knew he needed to do something, knew he needed to say something. That look on Hajime's face, that look of shock and horror, was absolutely gut-wrenching. But in those seconds, those all-too-important initial seconds, he'd frozen.

And Hajime hadn't.

He wanted to grab at Hajime as he went by, wanted to tell him to stop, to relax. That everything was going to be ok.

But he couldn't.

Instead, all he could do was watch Hajime go, feeling as though his body was rooted to the ground. Once Hajime vanished, Kyo turned back and looked at Mutsuki, Mutsuki who was now standing and looking at him, his face completely void of that normal carefree expression Kyo always associated with Mutsuki. Instead, Mutsuki's expression was stunned, but only for another moment; then it hardened into grim resolution, and Mutsuki too was gone.

He heard Tohru's anxious voice downstairs asking what was going on, heard Mutsuki call Hajime and the front door slamming. Heard Tohru's voice even more frantically asking what was happening, what was wrong with Hajime, heard the door slam again…

Then he finally snapped into action.

Kyo flew down the staircase, also jumping the last few steps. Tohru and Kunimitsu were both right there, Tohru's eyes wide and almost frantic with confusion.

"Kyo, what's wrong? What's going on? Why did the boys leave, where did they go?"

Kyo didn't have time to talk; even if he did, he didn't know what he'd say. Not until he'd had a chance to talk to Hajime.

"Can't talk now, Tohru!"

Without even stopping for shoes or his coat, Kyo was out the door.

Kazuma had just been stepping out of the dojo proper when Hajime went blazing through the courtyard, racing past Kazuma without even seeing him and moving so quickly Kazuma didn't have a chance to react or even call his name before he disappeared through the open gate. Shortly thereafter Kazuma heard a slam, and he looked towards his house to see Mutsuki charging across the courtyard in the same direction Hajime had gone.

"Mutsuki, what's wrong?" Kazuma called out, and Mutsuki glanced Kazuma's way as he raced past

"Can't talk now, Master Kazuma!" Then Mutsuki was out the gate, as well.

Kazuma's brow knit anxiously, and he hurried towards the house, arriving just as Kyo burst out the door. That time, Kazuma was ready, and he caught Kyo by the arm before Kyo could take off running, too.

"Kyo, what is it?"

Kyo was wide-eyed and Kazuma could feel his pulse racing.

"I've gotta go, Dad!"

"What happened?" Kazuma repeated, his tone firm and his manner steady. Kyo gave him an anxious look, his eyes flicking in the direction of the dojo gate and back to Kazuma.

"I need to talk to Hajime. Now."

"What. Happened?"

Kyo's eyes met Kazuma's, and from Kyo's expression Kazuma suddenly felt as though he could guess. But Kyo had left Kazuma’s office less than ten minutes ago; what could have happened in such a short amount of time?

"I've gotta go," Kyo repeated, his voice frantic and almost pleading. "I need to talk to Hajime, Dad, and I need to talk to him now."

Kazuma took a breath, then looked at Kyo; still wearing his gi, barefoot, and with no jacket.

"Even you likely can't catch him with the head start he has, Kyo, especially with no shoes." Kyo looked down at that, seeming to notice for the first time he was barefoot. "Go inside. Change, put on shoes, get your coat. Then you can go after him."

Kyo exhaled, and Kazuma could feel him wanting to resist, feel him wanting to take off running regardless. Then he nodded sharply, yanking his arm away from Kazuma and turning back into the house with Kazuma right on his heels.

"Kyo? Is everything alright? What's going on?"

Tohru's voice was high-pitched and anxious, and Kyo's terse, "Still can't talk now, Tohru," as he raced back up the stairs did nothing to calm her nerves.

As Kazuma came into the hall, Tohru practically pounced on him.

"Master Kazuma, did you see Hajime? He and Mutsuki just left, and it was so sudden and I didn't see Hajime, but Mutsuki looked so upset and they were both slamming the doors and they never slam doors, they're both always so polite-"

Tohru had tears streaming down her face, and Kazuma hugged her.

"It's ok, Tohru. It's going to be ok. Kyo is going to go after them and he'll sort this out, don't worry."

Kyo came rapidly back down the stairs in jeans and a t-shirt, heading back to the entryway and calling back, "Don't wait on us for lunch."

Tohru was crying. "I wish someone would just tell me what's going on!"

"I'm afraid I have no idea, Tohru, but Kyo will take care of it, I'm sure," Kazuma said, hoping he sounded suitably confident. Over Tohru's head he met Kunimitsu's eyes, and he saw they were anxious, likely mirroring Kazuma's own.

For all he'd told Tohru he didn't know, Kazuma felt he at least had a guess.

Coat and shoes on, Kyo was back outside and on his way. He didn't quite know what he was doing at first; Hajime had been living in Tokyo for nearly three years, after all, and it was possible he had all kinds of comfort places where he might have fled. But Kyo had to go with what he knew: what Hajime had always been like, and where Hajime had always tended to gravitate when he was upset or needed to think.

Things he knew, because Hajime was his son.

He might not know everything, but he hoped he still knew enough.

When Mutsuki arrived back at the house, he was completely exhausted. While he'd always been good at PE and did well on Sports Day, a cross-town run wearing the wrong clothes was hardly his idea of a good time.

Hajime had always been the more athletic one, and Mutsuki had no idea how big Hajime's lead had become by the time Mutsuki made it to the house. He had no idea how long Hajime's wildly tossed shoes had been sitting in the entryway, or how long Hajime had been sitting alone by the time Mutsuki finally made it to the roof. But when Mutsuki finally got there and wrapped his arms around Hajime's shaking body, pressing his head comfortingly into Hajime's shoulder and listening to the harsh, racking sobs making his boyfriend quake, Mutsuki's heart felt like it was in almost as much pain as Hajime's.

Mutsuki didn't need to say anything, even though Hajime's knees were drawn up and his face was buried in his arms. He knew it was Mutsuki by touch, by aura. And when Hajime could finally manage to talk, his voice was ragged and anguished.

"Did you...did you see his face, Mutsuki? Did you see...how he was looking...at me?"

Mutsuki thought hard, thinking back to those long seconds before he himself had run after Hajime. Of those seconds when he'd turned to see Kyo standing there, staring at them.

"Yes, I did. He was surprised," Mutsuki said quietly, and Hajime made a groaning noise.

"Not...surprised...stunned! Like...he couldn't...believe it."

"Well, he probably couldn't, Hajime, not in that moment. While I stand by your parents loving me like the third son they never had, I doubt they ever expected that to become literal."

"This isn't funny!" With an angry snarl, Hajime jerked up his head, anger radiating off of him even with his tears. "It's not...a joke, Mutsuki...and it's never been...a joke, either!" He hiccupped, then continued. "I'm glad...you're...confident enough...that you can joke. But I'm not! And I never...have been!"

With renewed sobs, Hajime buried his head again, and Mutsuki sighed and held him close.

"I'm not joking, Hajime. I truly think Uncle Kyo would have reacted the same way if you were kissing Sora, it just surprised him, that's all."

"He couldn't even move. He couldn't even say anything to me," Hajime sniffled, his voice filled with despair. "He just...he just..."

"Had no time to react," Mutsuki said. "You were gone almost immediately, Hajime."

"Because he was looking at me like that!" Hajime's voice raised once more, though he never lifted his head, and Mutsuki sighed.

Clearly talking wasn't what Hajime needed just then, and Mutsuki lapsed into silence. But he stayed there, as he was, holding Hajime close.

Hajime couldn't believe any of it had happened. He had been feeling so good, so confident; anxious on his grandpa's behalf, but with Kazuma himself, Kunimitsu, and Mutsuki all feeling so positive, he had allowed himself to finally feel a little optimistic himself. And while he knew it would be different with Kazuma versus himself, actually knowing how his parents responded to Kazuma being gay would go a long way in helping Hajime deal with his own fears.

It might even have been the final push he needed.

Instead, he'd just torpedoed all his efforts of the past year and a half to keep things secret, to let things out carefully and on his own schedule. All because he’d let himself get too relaxed, and forgotten that there was no such thing as privacy in the dojo, especially when there was an open door.

He'd been so impulsive, and so stupid!

Kyo's expression might as well have been burned into his brain. With his eyes closed, all Hajime could see were Kyo's wide eyes, and the slightly slack way his mouth had hung open. He had been shocked, more shocked than Hajime could ever recall seeing him. Hajime could take a little consolation in the fact that Kyo hadn't seemed disgusted or jerked away, but it had still...not been encouraging.

And that was the moment Hajime had to work with, going forward. No carefully timed, carefully thought-out speech. Instead, he and his father would always have that.

"Mutsuki, I wanna talk to Hajime alone, please."

Hajime tensed, and he felt Mutsuki's arms tense around him, felt Mutsuki lift his head from Hajime's shoulder. But Hajime himself couldn't manage to look up; he couldn't even bring himself to break out of his protective hunch.

The silence after that request felt like an eternity, and Hajime wondered what was going on. Were Mutsuki and Kyo staring each other down? What did they each look like? Angry, sad, confused, defiant?

He wished he could see, without having to look.

He felt Mutsuki's hair against his cheek as Mutsuki leaned close, his voice soft as he gently asked, "Hajime?"

Hajime didn't want him to go. He didn't want to be alone with his father, didn't want to face those staring eyes without Mutsuki's loving arms around him to remind him that everything was going to be ok, even if Hajime couldn't bring himself to believe it.

But Hajime's voice was dull when he quietly replied, "It doesn't matter."

He felt the gentle brush of Mutsuki's lips against his cheek, and in spite of himself he smiled. Then Mutsuki's arms pulled away, and he could hear as Mutsuki got up and made his way across the roof.

Without him, Hajime felt more exposed and alone than ever, and he could feel his shaking intensifying. Then someone else was sitting beside him, someone he'd sat beside on a roof dozens, if not hundreds, of times. Someone who he'd sat beside on a couch, on the floor, on the train, at the table.

Someone who had always brought comfort.

Until today.

At first they sat in silence, apart from Hajime's soft sniffling. Then, finally, Kyo's quiet voice broke in.

"I'm sorry, Hajime."

The apology was so unexpected that Hajime stiffened, and he had to once more fight the urge to lift his head and stare.

Kyo was sorry? What did Kyo have to be sorry about?

"I've never been great at this talking thing, especially not without time to plan out what I'm gonna say. And I've gotta say, Hajime...I was surprised. And 'cause I was surprised, I didn't know what to say...so I didn't say anything. I screwed up, and I'm sorry about that."

Kyo was obviously waiting for a response, and Hajime finally managed to croak out a soft, "It's ok, Dad."

Hajime could hear the snort. "Pretty sure it's not, but thanks anyway." Kyo was quiet for a moment, then Hajime stiffened as he felt a hand touch his shoulder. "Can we talk now?"

It was Hajime's turn to be silent, but finally he managed another, "Ok." And beside him, he could hear the relief in Kyo's exhale, followed, after a moment, by an awkward chuckle.

"So...I've gotta be the one to talk? Guess that's fair," Kyo said, and Hajime could imagine the awkward expression on his face, trying to smile but not quite managing. "So..." Kyo repeated, then sighed.

"I don't have a goddamn clue what I'm doing, Hajime. This is all...new to me. But a lotta stuff's been new to me, in my life. Being a dad at all was new to me, once, and I figured that out. I'm still figuring that out," he corrected himself. "'Cause this...this is part of that, Hajime. Learning stuff about you, and supporting you."

Hajime's breath hitched, and his fingers tightened on his arms. He was still sniffling, but more than that, he was listening.

"'Cause I do, Hajime. I always have, ever since you were born, and I still do, now. You're my son, no matter what, and I'm always gonna love you. And I'm always gonna support you, and want you to be happy, no matter what."

Hajime finally lifted his tear-streaked face to see his father looking at him, Kyo's expression sincere. And Hajime's breath caught once again before he managed to choke out, "No matter what?"

Kyo's slight smile was the most beautiful sight imaginable as he firmly repeated, "No matter what."

Hajime let out a strangled little laugh, then looked down.

"I've been...so scared, Dad. I didn't know...how you'd react."

"Kinda figured that," Kyo said, squeezing Hajime's shoulder with a wry smile. "And I guess...that's fair. I mean, I didn't know how I'd react, either, not exactly. But I'd've hoped you'd know I'd never be upset with you, Hajime. How could I, when you've never given me any reason?"

Hajime snorted softly. "Pretty sure this is a pretty big reason."

"Maybe to some people, but not me, Hajime, and not your mom either. We want you kids to be happy, and that means you guys've gotta find and follow your own paths to get there."

Hajime was quiet, thinking about that. Then he asked, his voice hesitant,

"Did you ever...guess?"

Kyo thought about that for a minute, tilting his head thoughtfully to the side.

"I dunno, exactly. I've always known you were pretty modest, but I always figured that was just you being...well, modest."

"I never wanted to be...creepy," Hajime said softly, and Kyo nodded.

"And I always knew you weren't really interested in girls, but I guess I didn't think too much about that. I know it's not the same, but I didn't think much about girls until your mom came along. Some guys just aren't as...hormonal," Kyo said, his face flushing. "So I maybe wondered, especially this past year, but I can't say I ever really exactly thought you were..."

"Gay?"

Saying the word was both impossibly difficult and immensely freeing. For a long moment it hung there between them, then Kyo finally nodded.

"Yeah...gay." He paused, then looked at Hajime. "That what you are, then? Gay?"

Hajime nodded, inhaling aggressively. "That's right. I only like...men," he said, blushing furiously.

Kyo nodded again, then exhaled. "So, then...Mutsuki?"

Hajime laughed in spite of himself, and he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he nodded.

"Yes, Mutsuki."

They were quiet as Kyo contemplated that, then glanced over at Hajime once more.

"Does Yuki know?"

Hajime shook his head. "He knows that Mutsuki...isn't straight. Him and Aunt Machi both. But not about me and Mutsuki. No one else does, except for Grandpa and Kunimitsu."

Kyo was suddenly scrutinizing Hajime intensely, and Hajime blushed again as he asked,

“Did Grandpa...talk to you about why he wanted you to visit?"

"Yeah. Yeah, he did," Kyo said, and Hajime could see the wheels turning before he finally asked, "So...you know, then? About what Dad wanted to tell us?"

Hajime nodded. "I've known...for a while. Since I was living in the house, and for sure since last year."

Kyo thought about that for a minute, then shifted awkwardly.

"You never...saw anything, did you?"

Hajime blushed too and shook his head rapidly. "No, nothing, not like that! Just...lots of little things, in how they'd act with each other. Things maybe I noticed, and started watching for, because..." he looked down awkwardly. "Because I was hoping it was true."

Kyo was giving Hajime a confused look, and Hajime continued. "I guess I thought...that if Grandpa and Kunimitsu were...like me...and you were ok with them...then it meant you'd be ok with me, too," he said, his voice getting increasingly quiet as he spoke.

When he finished, Kyo sighed.

"You and your grandpa've got the most ass-backwards logic, I've gotta tell you, Hajime; in that, you're exactly like him. But I mean...I guess I understand, kinda." Kyo said, looking out over the city. "It's a lot, telling someone something about yourself that's...different. Trusting they're gonna listen, and not let it change how they look at you. It's scary."

Kyo was quiet for a moment, then looked back at Hajime with a little smile.

"Pretty sure I sat here with you, in this very same spot, and told you something infinitely more unbelievable once. And you told me...that you were so glad I was ok. That you loved me. And that you'd always be proud I was your dad," Kyo said, his eyes shining. "And I love you, Hajime, and I'm always gonna be proud of you, no matter what."

Hajime couldn't say anything to that, not just then. But as he leaned over and hugged Kyo tightly, feeling Kyo hugging him in return, he knew that everything was going to be ok.

Mutsuki was sitting cross-legged on Hajime's bed when Kyo and Hajime came down from the roof, and his expression at first was anxious. Then he got a good look at Hajime's sheepish smile and broke into a wide grin of his own, bounding up and catching Hajime in a giant hug.

"Was I right?" Mutsuki asked Hajime, holding him close. "Was I right?"

Hajime tried to sound gruff, but he was too happy just then.

"Do you promise not to let it go to your head?"

"I promise nothing, I will let it go to my head because I was right," Mutsuki said triumphantly, beaming as he let go of Hajime and gave Kyo a wide smile. "I told him you were going to be fine with it, but you have a very stubborn son and he sometimes worries about ridiculous things," he said in a somewhat long-suffering tone to Kyo.

Hajime was blushing, but Kyo chuckled.

"Well, he kinda comes by those things justly, Mutsuki. Being stubborn, stressing out about stupid shit...running away when he's panicking..." Kyo said, his voice rueful.

Mutsuki nodded. "Oh, I know. But don't worry, Uncle Kyo, I'm a very tenacious person myself, and also great at running!" He smiled, then frowned slightly. "Is 'Uncle Kyo' still appropriate now? Or are we now at a place where I can call you 'Dad?' Except I call my dad 'Dad,'" he mused, "so maybe we should brainstorm a different paternal name for you..."

Kyo couldn't take anymore and quickly interjected, "'Uncle Kyo' is still fine, Mutsuki, really." Then he turned and gave Hajime, who was about as red as a lobster, a pained look.

"Really, Mutsuki?"

Hajime could only give Kyo a red-faced and helpless shrug, but Mutsuki was laughing as he said, "Obviously Mutsuki!"

Hajime felt like he was walking on air as the three of them made their way back to the dojo, Kyo on one side of him, Mutsuki on the other, and all three of them smiling. Hajime was still admittedly embarrassed, and a part of him was dreading facing the others at the dojo. He was especially anxious about Tohru, who had to be a basket case after all three of them had taken off without a word of explanation.

But that was ok.

It had taken a while, but he was ready to explain.

Chapter Text

Tohru pounced on them the moment they walked back into Kazuma's house.

"Thank goodness, I was so worried about you!" she exclaimed, hugging Hajime tightly before looking anxiously up at his face, which was still streaked with dried tears. "I'm so glad you're back, Hajime, is everything alright?"

From the worried look she gave him before looking at Kyo, Hajime knew she was pretty sure the answer was 'no.'

Given the way they had left her, that was fairly understandable.

But Hajime was ready to make it up to her. "Yes, everything's ok, Mom, I promise. But I was wondering," he said, hesitating just a little, "could we talk, maybe? All of us?"

Tohru nodded immediately. "Of course we can, Hajime, let's go sit down. But can I give you all some lunch first? None of you had a chance to eat before you left, and it might be better if you had a full stomach before-"

"-Mom," Hajime said, his tone affectionate but resigned, "I'd really just like to talk first, if that's ok."

Tohru shot Kyo a questioning glance, and Kyo chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her.

"We'll be just fine, Tohru, don't you worry about us."

Kazuma and Kunimitsu were sitting at the living room table, and both of them looked up anxiously when the others joined them. But Kazuma just had to look at Hajime to see that everything was well, and a look at Kyo, who gave Kazuma a wry smile, only confirmed it.

"Well, it's nice to have you all back," Kazuma said, smiling at the three of them. "Can we get you any lunch?"

"Later, Grandpa," Hajime said, sitting down between Mutsuki and Tohru. "I was actually wanting to...talk to everyone, first. Especially Mom," he said, glancing at her, "But everyone else, too."

Understanding lit up Kazuma's eyes, and suddenly he was beaming at Hajime.

"Of course, Hajime. We are at your disposal."

And as he watched Kazuma, Kyo could feel the tiniest pricking of tears. All he had ever wanted for fatherhood himself was to be half the dad Kazuma had been, and to help foster a bond between his kids and their grandpa. So to see the way Kazuma looked at Hajime, the sheepish but proud way Hajime smiled back...

Kyo might wish things had unfolded differently, especially with regards to Kazuma. He definitely wished Kazuma had told him sooner. But Kazuma had been there for Hajime when Kyo's son needed him, the same way he'd always been there for Kyo himself, and that counted for a lot.

That would always count for a lot.

Tohru was still looking anxious though, and she finally blurted out,

"I really am trying to be patient, Hajime, but I'm starting to feel like I'm the only one missing something here!"

Hajime blushed at that, then laughed, along with Mutsuki and Kyo. Then he glanced around the table, at the smiling, supportive faces around him.

He could do this.

"Mom...do you remember this summer, you called me during the week everyone was at the beach house?"

Tohru looked surprised, then frowned, trying to remember.

"Well, I call you often, Hajime! What happened during that call, can you remind me?"

Hajime took a breath. "Well, you were really...cheery. Like you were trying to sound happy, but you were actually upset," he said, looking down. "And when you were being like that, you got kinda...weird," he admitted, blushing.

"Weird?" Now Tohru was blushing too. "I was weird? I'm so sorry, Hajime, you know I'd never intentionally be weird to you!"

"Yes, I know, but you...well, you started asking me some things, Mom. Like, really pointed things."

"Things?" she asked, frowning, and Hajime nodded.

"Yes. Like...if I'd made any new friends this year. If I'd met any new people. You told me..." he said, shifting uncomfortably, "that I could tell you anything, and if there was anything important in my life, you wanted to know about it."

Tohru was crimson then, hearing what she'd thought had been casual and subtle being laid out so incredibly baldly.

Hajime swallowed. "And you've said...kind of similar things sometimes since. Asking me about meeting people, reminding me I can talk to you, letting me know you want to hear about my life, reminding me that you guys always support me..."

He swallowed again, then asked her, "Why were you saying that stuff, Mom? You never used to say anything like that, then since this summer, it's been...a thing. A regular thing. Why?"

"It's really been stressing him out, Aunt Tohru," Mutsuki cut in, and Hajime shot him a pointed glare.

Tohru covered her face with her hands. "It's too embarrassing, Hajime, please don't make me say it!"

Meanwhile, Kyo was surprised, and that surprise was evident on his face when he looked at Tohru.

"Wait, you were calling and saying that stuff to Hajime regularly? I thought it was just the one time!"

"’The one time?’" Hajime repeated, blushing and looking at Kyo. "I thought you said you didn't suspect!"

Now Kyo was blushing, too. "I didn't suspect! Or guess, or anything, but neither did your mom! I didn't think so, anyway," he said, suddenly giving Tohru a calculating look that made Tohru defensive.

"Seeing how I don't know what either of you are talking about, obviously I didn't 'suspect', and I still don't!" she said, looking from her son's red face to her husband's in bewilderment. "Will one of you please just tell me? Please?"

Kyo looked away and rubbed his forehead. "Tohru, first just tell the kid what you were doing, ok?"

Tohru blushed, and she gave Hajime a guilty look. "I was trying to figure out...if you maybe had a girlfriend. A secret one," she admitted finally.

Mutsuki, Hajime, and Kunimitsu all practically choked, then Mutsuki and Kunimitsu started laughing. Kazuma was calm, but sporting an amused expression, while Kyo gave Hajime an apologetic shrug.

"Like I said, Hajime, pretty sure she didn't guess."

Hajime was giving his mom a bewildered look. "Why would you think I had a secret girlfriend?"

Tohru was defensive. "Because you're seventeen, Hajime, and in your last year of high school! And..." she blushed again, glancing at Kyo who gave her a pointed look, then she sighed.

"I saw Katsuro with Asuka that day, Hajime, the day that I called you that first time. I saw them, without them seeing me, and I saw that they were...dating," she admitted, looking away. "Katsuro never hinted to either of us that he was seeing anyone, Hajime, not even a whisper, and I felt very...left out," she said softly. "I know you all have your own lives to lead, and I know you're all...growing up," she said, looking up at Hajime with teary eyes. "And I know that means you'll all have things that are private. I want to respect that Hajime, truly, but...it's hard, sometimes, not to know what's going on with you all," she admitted with a sniffle.

Hajime's mind was spinning.

"So you saw Katsu with a girl you didn't known about, and that made you think...that I had a girlfriend, too, somehow? And I hadn't told you?"

Tohru nodded meekly. "You're older, Hajime, and you've always been so social and well-liked. And you'd been living here for over two years, and we don't get to see you nearly as often as I'd like, and you're so busy and have so much going on that can make it hard to have long to talk-"

"-We get it, Tohru," Kyo cut in, smiling affectionately and hugging her. "You're having a tough time cutting the apron strings, pretty sure Hajime knows that."

Hajime was still processing. "So all this time you've been saying stuff to me, it's basically been because of...Katsu?"

He'd let himself get worked into a ball of hormonal anxiety because his mom was insecure his brother was waiting to say that he was dating?

Tohru nodded, blushing. "Though if it makes you feel any better, I've also been saying similar things to him. But he seems to have finally listened, since we got to properly meet her at last!" she said, both sheepish and triumphant.

Hajime was incredulous, though, and it didn't help that Mutsuki was still snickering.

He felt like a complete idiot.

"How come you were so extra intense about it after the Culture Fest?" he asked, eliciting another blush from Tohru.

"You were so adamant you didn't want us to come, and you didn't want anyone else to come either. I felt for sure you had to be hiding something, and I was worried about you. It's possible I went overboard," she admitted.

Hajime passed a hand over his face. He'd wondered if Haru had suspected anything, if Haru had said something...but no. It was just Hajime's own desire for distance, coming back to bite him in the ass.

His family always had had knack for making everything into a ridiculously big deal, himself included.

Hajime took another deep breath. "Mom, I don't have a secret girlfriend, ok? Not a secret one, not a public one, not one at all. No girls, in any romantic capacity," he said firmly, and Tohru gave him an apologetic little smile.

"Thank you for telling me, Hajime, and I'm sorry I was so pushy."

He smiled at her, once more feeling his heart hammering in his chest. "It's ok, Mom. But..."

His eyes shot around the table, looking once more at the people there. People who supported him. Who cared about him.

Who loved him, and always had.

No matter what.

Under the table, Hajime found Mutsuki's hand and squeezed it hard, feeling in Mutsuki's return grip, in Kazuma's softly shining eyes, in Kyo's crooked smile, and in Kunimitsu's slight nod the courage to finally say what he'd been wanting to say for so long.

"Mom, I don't have a girlfriend," he repeated, his voice slightly shaking but resolute. "But I do have...someone. Someone I've been dating for almost a year and a half now, someone incredibly...special to me," he said, his voice catching. "Someone who I love very much," he said, his grip tightening even more around Mutsuki's hand.

"Someone who loves him back, an enormous amount," Mutsuki said, his voice soft, but overflowing with feeling.

Tohru's face had lit up when Hajime started talking, only to be rapidly taken over by confusion as she tried to make sense of the what he was actually saying. Hajime could see her trying to think, trying to figure out the logical progression when he'd already said there was no girl. He almost wanted to laugh at how serious her face had become, hope and excitement and confusion all warring together.

Then her eyes suddenly widened, and she looked up, glancing from Hajime to Mutsuki, back to Hajime, and sharply over to Kyo, a question written all over her face.

As Tohru stared at Kyo, Hajime took another breath, then lifted his hand and set it on top of the table, Mutsuki's fingers still entangled with his. And as Tohru looked back at him, and at their hands, he said,

"Mom...Mutsuki and I are dating."

The room was absolutely silent for a moment, Hajime practically holding his breath as he watched Tohru staring at their hands. Then she broke into an enormous, beaming smile, leaning forward and hugging him as she burst out,

"I'm so glad you finally told me!"

In retrospect, Hajime couldn't believe he'd ever been worried.

After her initial joy at being in the loop wore off, Tohru had scolded him soundly, somewhat appalled that he'd ever even suspected they wouldn't be supportive. She'd scolded Mutsuki too, chiding him for keeping it a secret and for not doing a better job convincing Hajime they'd be happy, because, "Of course we're happy! We love Mutsuki, don't we, Kyo?"

Tohru had asked who else knew, and Hajime and Mutsuki admitted it was just the people in the room, but that they planned to tell Mutsuki's parents soon. That had been an obvious relief to Hajime's parents, because, as Kyo said, "I can't keep track of all who's allowed to know what anymore."

At that comment, Hajime's eyes had flown to Kazuma, but Kazuma had given him the tiniest, most imperceptible shake of his head.

That was Hajime's moment; there would be time for Kazuma to talk to Tohru later.

That had been the plan, anyway, before Mutsuki looked over at Kazuma and said, "It's nice to have it out in the open finally, isn't it, Master Kazuma?"

Hajime shot Mutsuki an incredulous look. "Seriously, Mutsuki? Mom doesn't know yet!"

That got Tohru's attention, and her eyes had widened again.

"Wait, Hajime knows? And Mutsuki? Am I the last one? Just how much are you all keeping from me?" she demanded, looking around the table. "This is really starting to feel unfair!"

Kunimitsu was snickering again, and Kyo passed a hand over his face before looking over at Hajime.

"Again...you’re really sure that outta all the guys out there, you actually want Mutsuki?"

Hajime sighed. "I don't get it sometimes either, Dad."

Tohru was still looking around in confusion, and Kazuma sighed before giving Hajime a look of amused apology, one that Hajime returned sheepishly.

"Sorry, Grandpa."

"Don't be," Kazuma said. "It was meant to 'come out' this weekend anyway, either way."

His eyes twinkled at Hajime, who stared at him for a moment, unable to believe that his grandpa had just made a joke about this. But then the absurdity of it all hit him and he laughed, and he was still laughing when Kazuma looked over at Tohru.

"I asked you here for a reason this weekend, Tohru, a reason I've already shared with Kyo," he said, glancing across the table and smiling at his son, who smiled back. "And since Hajime already knows, too, I suppose it's only fair to tell you that Hajime is not in the minority at this table. In fact," he admitted, glancing around at the six people sitting there, his mouth twitching slightly, "as surprising as it is to say this, everyone at this table, with the exception of Kyo, is in a relationship with a man."

Tohru stared at him for a very long moment, then suddenly burst out, "EH?"

"My apologies for springing it on you so suddenly," Kazuma began, only to be interrupted by Kyo.

"Suddenly? Suddenly? Twenty-one damn years later is hardly 'suddenly,' Dad," Kyo said, unwilling to let that little turn of phrase go by unchallenged, and Tohru's eyes got bigger.

"EH?"

Lunch was stone cold and had to be reheated by the time any of them remembered it, but Hajime didn't mind. He would have eaten it cold, congealed, or possibly even spoiled without either noticing or caring, he was feeling so impossibly and unbelievably happy as he sat there, holding Mutsuki's hand, in the full, smiling view of his parents.

For the next few hours, they all sat together and talked. Most of the talking was between the adults; Tohru, like Kyo, had a lot of feelings about Kazuma and Kunimitsu keeping their relationship hidden for so long, and she had no qualms about voicing them. Kunimitsu teasingly asked Kyo if he was going to start calling him 'Step-Dad,' and Kyo told him he was lucky Kyo had always liked him, because otherwise Kyo would be having some serious talks with Kazuma about raising his standards.

At one point, Tohru had given Kazuma an inquisitive look.

"The one thing I'm curious about, Master Kazuma, is why now, after all this time? Obviously I'm glad you told us, and I wish you would have done it sooner," she said chidingly. "But to ask us to come here just so you could tell us...did something happen to provoke it?"

Kazuma considered the question, just for a bit.

"Well, the short answer is both yes and no, Tohru. But simply, I was having a conversation with Hajime, and he made me realize that even if I didn't think it mattered whether I told you, the truth was that it mattered a lot, for a multitude of reasons," he said, smiling over at Hajime. "And once I realized that, then I knew I had to tell you."

"And I'm really, really glad you did, Grandpa," Hajime said, beaming at him.

Kazuma's return smile was bright. "Me too, Hajime; me too."

Later that evening Tohru and Kyo sat in their room at the dojo, Kyo watching as Tohru brushed her hair. He'd always loved that small ritual, but that night she could tell from his expression that his focus was on something far different, and eventually she lowered her brush.

"What are you thinking, Kyo?" she asked, and he flicked his eyes to hers with a little smile.

"Can't you guess?"

"Yes and no," she said, studying his face. "I know what you're thinking about in general, I'm sure...but what are you really thinking about, Kyo?"

Kyo gave her an affectionate look. He loved so many things about Tohru, and he always had: the way she smiled at him, the way she encouraged him. The way she looked at him and saw him.

The way she could always guess what he was thinking.

"I'm thinking...a lotta things," he admitted as she set down her brush and snuggled into his arms. "Today was a lot," he said, and she nodded. "And I know it's not about me, it's about Dad and Hajime, but...it kinda sucks, honestly," Kyo admitted, looking down.

For a moment Tohru was shocked, until Kyo looked up at her, his eyes resigned and sad.

"Neither one of 'em was willing to tell me, not for so damn long. Dad and Kunimitsu,” Kyo said, inhaling, “they've been...together...almost as long as you and me. All the milestones we've had...all the things we've been through together...they've been together there in the background all this time, and they never said! And I never saw," he said quietly. "Even if I wasn't looking, shouldn't I've seen? Shouldn't I've known?"

He sighed, then continued, becoming even more somber, "And Hajime...the kid was terrified, Tohru," Kyo said, unable to disguise the pain in his voice. "When I saw him and Mutsuki...kissing..." he said, trying not to stumble over the words, "he didn't even think before running away from me. When I caught up to him, he was so damn afraid...afraid of me," Kyo said, so very dejectedly it almost made Tohru's heart break.

"What's it say about me, Tohru, that neither of 'em felt they could tell me? All this time, they've both been hiding, not just that they're...gay...but that they've actually got someone. Boyfriends. Or partners," he corrected, thinking about Kazuma. "And neither of 'em told me," he said, his eyes downcast. "Did they think I'd be mad? Did they think I'd be...disgusted? I just don't get it, they should both know me!"

Tohru wrapped her arms around him and held him close.

"Kyo, you of all people should know that fear isn't rational. How long did you fight telling Hajime about the Curse, even with him actually pushing you to do it?"

"I know...but I feel like this oughtta be different, somehow. And I wish they would've said something sooner."

Tohru nodded. "Me too," she said softly. "When I think about how hard Hajime's been struggling for all this time because of my insecurities, because I couldn't just trust him to know we were here for him...that he felt I was forcing him to do something that made him uncomfortable..."

Her eyes welled up with tears, and Kyo held her tightly.

"You didn't know, Tohru. Hajime doesn't blame you for anything, you know that, right?"

"But he should, Kyo! Hajime, and Katsuro, too," Tohru admitted, looking down. "I just..." she sniffled. "I just didn't want them to shut me out! But all I ended up doing was making them pull away even more, and upsetting them..."

As Tohru sniffled, Kyo rested his cheek against hers.

"Guess at this point, it should be easy to admit we're not perfect...but it's still pretty damn hard, isn't it?"

She nodded, and he sighed, then gave her a little smile.

"Well, the important thing's that we're trying, right? We're trying our best, and however long it's taken, they do trust us, and they're letting us in now. All of 'em," Kyo said, thinking in turn about Kazuma's composed expression, Hajime's anxious eyes, and even Katsuro's nervous but excited smile. "All we can do now is keep supporting 'em, let 'em know we're happy for 'em...and maybe back off just a little bit," he said ruefully.

And at that, she gave him a sheepish look.

"I'll do my best."

Hajime and Mutsuki lay flopped together on Hajime's bed, Mutsuki's head resting gently on Hajime's chest.

"You know that I never gloat," Mutsuki began, earning a snort from Hajime, "or say things like 'I told you so,'" earning him a second snort, "so that has to mean you forgive me for doing both this time. I told you so," he said smugly, looking up at Hajime, who was rolling his eyes.

"You know, Mutsuki, for a guy who pulls the exams scores you do, you're pretty damn dumb. I'm sure 'never' means the exact opposite of 'literally all the time,' which is how much you actually gloat."

"Name one time," Mutsuki protested, putting his hands on Hajime's chest and pushing himself up.

Hajime 'oofed' slightly at the pressure. "The time you manipulated Mitoma into joining the student council."

"Doesn't count, that wasn't gloating. That was being satisfied with a job well done, and besides, she agreed to it!"

"Under duress, and you were totally gloating, but fine. The times you tricked Hasegawa and Mitoma into cleaning your desk for you."

"Doesn't count, they were happy to do it, so it wasn't a trick."

"They weren't happy to do it, they were just afraid that mess was going to turn sentient and attack us."

"Either way, doesn't count. Try again."

Hajime was smiling now. "Literally every time you convince me to cook something you want for dinner instead of what I want."

"Doesn't count, you love doing things for me."

"Sometimes, not all the time. Not when you're being a pain in the ass."

"I'm never a pain in the ass," Mutsuki protested, looking at Hajime with wounded eyes. "I'm charming, delightful, and a sheer joy to be around, always."

"Who says that, your parents?" Hajime teased, and Mutsuki laughed.

"Hardly. As much as I adore them and they adore me, we both know Mom and Dad have this weird belief that I'm somehow occasionally exasperating," Mutsuki said, shaking his head in mock amazement.

"Because your parents are smart, Mutsuki," Hajime said with a laugh. "And they ought to know, don't you think?"

"Nope. I only accept character witnesses who actually understand my character."

"In other words, people who'll lie for you."

"So cynical," Mutsuki said with a sigh, then smiled, leaning down and resting his forehead against Hajime's. "Remind me why I love you again?"

"You mean besides the fact you know my dad, so you know I'll, quote, 'still be hot when I'm forty?'"

"When you say that out of context, it sounds creepy."

"It was creepy in context. You literally said it in front of my dad, Mutsuki. And my mom," Hajime said, blushing at the memory.

"It was a compliment! And your mom agreed with me, so I don't see the problem."

"Pretty sure Dad didn't see it that way."

"Well, Uncle Kyo has always needed to work on his sense of humor," Mutsuki said with a sigh. "But while that might be one reason," he said, grinning as he looked at Hajime, "it's a pretty small one. Why else?"

Hajime smiled up at him. "Why don't you tell me?"

"Spoilsport. I wanted to hear you talk yourself up for a while, there's nothing quite like a man with confidence."

"Hey, I've got confidence," Hajime protested, and Mutsuki smiled.

"Yes, you do," he said softly. "And I'm proud of you.”

Hajime blushed slightly, his teasing mood fading.

"Really?"

"Mmm-hmm." Mutsuki said with a nod. "I know I've been harping on you about it a lot lately, but today...you were great, Hajime. Really great."

Hajime chuckled ruefully. "Pretty sure 'great' is a stretch, Mutsuki, considering what initially happened with Dad."

"Eh, so we all got a good run in," Mutsuki said with a shrug. "Cardio exercise is never a bad thing. And even with you running...you guys still talked it out. And not just you and your dad, but you and your mom, too," he continued, smiling. "Watching you tell Aunt Tohru...I was so proud of you, Hajime," he repeated, his eyes shining. "You were so nervous, but you did it anyway, and now...we did it! It's out there! Almost, anyway," he corrected himself. "Obviously we have to tell Mom and Dad, and unless you changed your mind about your brother and sister-"

"-No, I still want to tell them. You know once Sora finds out it'll spread through the Sohmas like wildfire anyway, they should hear it from me."

Mutsuki nodded. "Smart plan. So, Mom and Dad, Katsuro and Sachiko, then...we just see where things take us?"

Hajime took a breath, then nodded. "I think that's the plan."

"Finally, a plan I can actually enjoy for a change!"

"Plans are important, Mutsuki. Not everything in life can be spontaneous."

"Maybe not, but there is such a thing as planning too much. As you," he said, tapping Hajime's nose, "should definitely know."

Hajime chuckled. "Says the master manipulator. How many steps were in your scheme to get Mitoma and Shiki together?"

"Them getting together was just a happy accident; you give me too much credit."

"I can never give you too much credit, Mutsuki," Hajime said softly, and Mutsuki beamed down at him. "You might be infuriating and as devious as a snake-"

"-So generous with the compliments tonight, you sweet-talker."

"-But you're also smart, strong, and one of the most amazing people I know," Hajime said earnestly. "And finally being able to tell my parents just how amazing you are...it's one of the best feelings in the world!"

Mutsuki's eyes were shining as he looked at Hajime, and Hajime's as he looked at him. Then Mutsuki's lips were on Hajime's, and when they broke apart, there was a new light in each of their eyes.

"So, speaking about ‘the best feelings in the world,’" Mutsuki began, bringing a hand up to stroke Hajime's hair, and Hajime laughed, he was so amused.

"You're really going to go there, Mutsuki? I was being serious!"

"So was I! Or are you saying I'm wrong?"

As Mutsuki's hand started to slide down Hajime's chest Hajime chuckled, then reached up to caress Mutsuki's cheek. He couldn't believe they had made it there; that after so much time spent worrying, stressing, and hiding, he could finally be there with Mutsuki, the brilliant, eccentric, strong, loveable, exasperating, beautiful person he loved so much...and not have to hide it anymore.

He knew. Mutsuki knew. His parents knew.

And everything was ok.

Chapter Text

The next morning when Kyo woke up, he instinctively started to reach for his running clothes. But then he paused, and after a few moments' consideration he returned them to the suitcase. And when he actually went downstairs, he was wearing his gi, instead.

Kazuma was in the kitchen making his tea when Kyo walked in, and his eye was immediately drawn to Kyo's outfit. Smiling, he asked,

"No run this morning, Kyo?"

As he reached into the fridge and pulled out the carton of milk, Kyo gave Kazuma a smile of his own.

"Nah. I was thinking I'd do some meditating this morning, instead."

Kazuma was beaming as Kyo took a big swig of milk and wiped his mouth.

"Well, that's somewhat surprising. I'd rather given up on you ever taking to it," he informed Kyo, looking and sounding amused.

"Oh, I still haven't taken to it," Kyo corrected with a grin of his own. "In general, I'd much rather run and think than sit and think. But I can run and think anytime," he continued, replacing the milk. "And I'd rather have the extra time today with my dad."

Both of them were smiling as they walked across the hall, where they sat at the table while Kazuma drank his tea. And in between sips, they talked.

About Kyo and Tohru's planned visit to Yuki and Machi's later that morning, about their travel plans for that afternoon. What the upcoming week held for Kyo, and for Kazuma. How things were going in their respective classes, what was going on lately with Katsuro and Sachiko, and a little bit about life in general.

In other words, the same things they always talked about, the same way they had always talked about them: freely, comfortably, and happily.

And as they talked, Kazuma observed Kyo's body language; relaxed and somewhat sprawling, the same way it always had been.

Like nothing had changed between them; it was just…another regular day.

As Kazuma raised his cup once more to his lips, he couldn't help but think of his argument for not telling Kyo he was gay: that it wasn't necessary, because it wouldn't change anything.

On the surface, he could say he'd been right; it hadn't been 'necessary,' and in most ways that mattered, nothing had changed.

But not every way, and Kazuma could admit that.

Sitting there with Kyo, talking, laughing, and being natural with one another...knowing there were no barriers between them...that Kyo now knew who he was, in pretty much every respect…

Telling Kyo might not have been necessary, no. But it had been the right decision, and Kazuma doubted he would ever regret it.

Later that day, Tohru and Kyo were sitting in Yuki and Machi's living room when they all heard the front door open. All of them were surprised, and Yuki was just standing up to go investigate when Mutsuki breezed into the living room, a bright smile on his face and Hajime close on his heels.

"Oh good, you're all here!" Mutsuki said, smiling around the room. "We were hoping we'd catch you two before you had to leave, Aunt Tohru and Uncle Kyo," he said happily.

"Yeah, well, you caught us," Kyo replied, feeling somewhat wary in the face of Mutsuki's cheer. But Tohru was beaming just as brightly as him, and she stood up to give Mutsuki and Hajime hugs.

"It's so sweet of you to want to see us!" she said, beaming at them both. "We'll be going straight to the train after here," she added, and both boys nodded.

"It's also good to see you too," Mutsuki told his parents, walking over and giving Yuki a hug. "Though we figured we'd be more likely to catch you two, seeing how you live here and all."

"Yes, it does often tend to be the case that we are, in fact, in our house," Yuki said wryly, "especially in late November."

"It's good to see you though, Mutsuki," Machi said, hugging him in turn. "Why didn't you say you were coming? We could have made you both something to eat, you must be hungry!"

"We grabbed some lunch from a vendor at the station, Aunt Machi, but thank you," Hajime said, looking at her before glancing at Mutsuki. Mutsuki gave Hajime a big smile, then settled onto the couch in between his parents and asked,

"Are we interrupting anything?"

Hajime stood awkwardly for a moment before Kyo glanced at him, patting the couch between himself and Tohru. Hajime hesitated, looking once more at Mutsuki, then smiled and sat down between Tohru and Kyo, almost unconsciously adopting Kyo's posture of crossed arms and one ankle resting on the opposite knee.

Meanwhile, Yuki shook his head at Mutsuki.

"Nothing in particular, just now. We just finished lunch, and you caught us in the middle of a chat about New Year's plans."

"Was there something you needed, Mutsuki?" Machi asked, and Mutsuki's eyes darted once more over to Hajime.

"Yes, actually, there was, Mom. Do you guys mind if I change the subject for a few minutes?"

Across the room, Hajime had started to tense slightly. Even though he knew Mutsuki's parents already knew about Mutsuki, they didn't know about Hajime, or about Hajime-and-Mutsuki. And even though they'd talked about this, even though he was glad they were doing this...it was still hard, in the actual moment.

When was telling people going to start getting easier?

Suddenly, Hajime felt an arm across his shoulders, and he glanced over to see Kyo giving him an encouraging smile. The arm was rapidly followed by a hand on his knee, and he looked the other way to see Tohru's loving and determined gaze. For a moment, he felt practically overwhelmed by the support...then he smiled himself, taking a deep breath.

Mutsuki was right.

There was nothing to fear.

Yuki and Machi were both looking at Mutsuki curiously, and he reached out to take each of their hands.

"So, Dad, do you remember back when I was twelve, you told me that someday when I was dating someone, you wanted me to bring them home to meet you guys, so you could get a chance to know them and love them just like me?"

Machi was suddenly staring at Mutsuki with wide, startled eyes, but Yuki nodded, albeit warily.

"Yes, that sounds about right," he said, somewhat cautiously.

"Well," Mutsuki said cheerfully, "I decided I'd make the whole process easier on you both by just going with someone you knew and loved already!"

Yuki's brow furrowed for a moment, then his eyes widened and shot across the room, landing on the furiously blushing Hajime before returning to Mutsuki with a somewhat wary,

"Mutsuki..."

"Mom, Dad," Mutsuki said, looking from one parent to the other with a smile, "Hajime's my boyfriend. Isn't that great?"

Kyo almost wanted to burst out laughing, the expression on Yuki's face was so comical. He couldn't say he blamed the other man in the slightest; although Kyo had known Mutsuki his entire life and did, in fact, love him, he'd always been a somewhat bewildering person to try to understand. How someone as pragmatic and direct as Machi and someone as calm and tactful as Yuki had produced the human enigma known as Mutsuki, Kyo had genuinely no idea.

Sometimes, he almost felt sorry for Yuki.

Hajime had said that Mutsuki's parents knew he wasn't straight, so Kyo supposed that had helped Yuki make the leap to Hajime; that, and the fact he was the only person who could currently fit the 'brought home' descriptor. But it was obvious from the looks on their faces that both Yuki and Machi were surprised, and not just by the news that the boys were dating.

After staring blankly at Mutsuki for a moment, Yuki's eyes had flown over to meet Kyo's, then became confused when he realized Kyo didn't look the least bit startled. A glance at Tohru found her beaming from ear to ear, and Yuki looked once more at Mutsuki before looking back at Kyo and bursting out,

"You already knew about this?"

"Yeah, but only since yesterday, you Damn Rat, so don't get too huffy on our account," Kyo said, grinning at the rare chance to see Yuki so flustered.

Yuki shook his head in amazement, but Machi was looking at Mutsuki.

"How long has this been...a thing?" she asked, clearly trying to make sense of it all. "I assume it's serious, if you're telling us,"

"Oh, it's serious," Mutsuki agreed. "I love him, Mom," he said, glancing across the room and beaming at Hajime. And even though Hajime was still crimson, he was smiling, too.

"And I love him," Hajime admitted, earning a happy noise and a hug from his mother that made him mutter a somewhat embarrassed, "Geez, Mom, really?"

"I'm just so happy for you, Hajime," Tohru repeated, still hugging him tightly.

Yuki had to smile at the oh-so-very-Tohru display of affection and enthusiasm. She had always been a sucker for romance.

And when he turned back to Mutsuki, he was smiling.

"What can I say, Mutsuki? While I have to say I hope you two are making sure to focus on your studies and your student council work-"

Hajime immediately protested. "-Uncle Yuki, you've got to know me better than that!"

Mutsuki was almost as swift in his rebuttal. "You really think even I'm capable of stopping Hajime from fulfilling his responsibilities? You've got more confidence in me than I do!

Yuki held up his hands placatingly. "As I was saying, as long as you two are making sure to focus on what you need to be doing, then I think we can both say," he said, glancing at Machi, who was smiling, "that we're happy for you."

Mutsuki was still holding their hands, but he let go to throw an arm around each of his parents and hug them both.

"I was hoping you'd say that, and I don't blame you; after all, he's a catch! And I think you and I can both agree, Mom," he continued, nodding sagely at Machi, "that there's something to be said for the allure of the presidency."

It was hard to say who was blushing harder: Yuki, Machi, or Hajime.

A little while later, Hajime and Mutsuki were sitting talking to Tohru and Machi, while Yuki and Kyo had drifted to the kitchen to get something to drink. A rather stiff drink in Yuki's case, Kyo was amused to see.

"It really that shocking, Yuki?" he teased, swirling his own glass in his hand. It wasn't often he had a chance to be more poised than Yuki, and he was rather enjoying it. "Hajime told us Mutsuki's been...out...to you guys for a while, I figured this part'd be easy for you."

Yuki finished preparing his drink and gave Kyo a dry look.

"Nothing Mutsuki ever does or says is shocking, Kyo, and it hasn't been for years. Surprising, on the other hand..."

Kyo took a drink. "Just so long as your surprise isn't 'cause you think my son's not good enough for yours, 'cause if that's the case then we're gonna have words."

"Your son?" Yuki said with amusement, raising a brow at Kyo. "Debatable. Tohru's son, though?" he said, smiling. "As much as I'll have to get used to the idea, I doubt it's possible for there to be someone better."

"Lucky for you they're one and the same," Kyo said with a chuckle. "Can't have one without the other."

"Sad, but true," Yuki said, then glanced back towards the living room. "Speaking of which, though...I'm honestly amazed, in retrospect, that I never suspected this, given how close they were. Then again, I never knew about Hajime, either."

"Yeah, well, you're not alone there," Kyo admitted, and Yuki looked at him in surprise.

"Really? You didn't know?"

Kyo shook his head. "Neither of us did. Nobody did, in fact, except Mutsuki...and Dad," he admitted wryly, earning another surprised look from Yuki before Yuki brushed past that.

"So when you say you learned about this yesterday-"

Kyo exhaled. "We learned about all of it yesterday. The fact Hajime's...gay," he said, still trying to get used to the word, "the fact the boys are...dating. All of it," he repeated, silently thinking about Kazuma as well.

It had been quite the day, to put it mildly.

Yuki was studying him thoughtfully. "How are you doing with all of this, Kyo?"

Kyo bit back the impulse to promptly say 'fine' in order truly consider the question. But after a minute, he gave Yuki a smile. "Honestly, Yuki...I'm good. Surprised, yeah. Tohru and I both wish Hajime'd been willing to talk to us about this earlier," he admitted, looking down at his drink. "It's a little hard to learn your kid's been in a relationship for a year and a half-"

"Wait, a year and a half?" Yuki's eyes rounded, and he jerked his head once more towards the living room. "And they're only just telling us?"

Kyo resisted the urge to tell Yuki a year and a half was nothing, but Kazuma's secret wasn't his to tell, and he doubted it would be Kazuma's to tell anyone else, either, except for Kyo's other two children at some point. Instead, he reached up and patted Yuki's arm.

"Pretty sure that was on Hajime's account, Yuki, or rather, on Tohru's and mine. From the sound of it, Mutsuki's been wanting to tell you guys for a while, but they were waiting 'til Hajime was ready to tell us."

After a moment, Yuki nodded. "I can see why they'd wait, in that case. Perhaps if you weren't always so damned intimidating," he said, giving Kyo a teasing smile, and Kyo snorted.

"I'm not, and never have been, intimidating. I'm damn loveable, and you know it."

Yuki chuckled. "Yes, loveable...that's the word for what you are."

Kyo was chuckling too, then he glanced back out towards the living room. "So..." he said, suddenly serious. "Our kids're dating."

"That's right," Yuki agreed, thinking of the way the boys had looked at each other when they said they loved each other.

"And it seems pretty serious," Kyo commented, and Yuki nodded. Then Kyo looked at him. "So what's that make us, then, if they end up staying together long-term?"

Yuki took a drink. "I believe the technical term is 'stuck with each other.'"

Kyo snorted. "Pretty sure we were that already, thanks to Tohru."

Yuki chuckled. "Yes, but this will just make it official."

Hajime and Mutsuki stayed until Tohru and Kyo needed to leave for the train, and when it was time for them to go, they decided to walk with them, to catch their own train and say goodbye. And as they all walked down the street, Tohru and Kyo hand in hand as always and Mutsuki and Hajime simply side by side, Hajime couldn't help but feel amazed at how everything had turned out.

For so long, he'd been afraid. He'd hoped that things would turn out well; he'd wanted, so very badly, to believe they would. But he'd been held back by fear, knowing that once he said anything, he'd never be able to unsay it.

Things could have changed forever, in the span of one sentence.

And in a way, he supposed they still had. The version of himself that his parents had always known was gone, replaced by the very-similar-but-still-different version he actually was.

The version who deeply and totally loved Mutsuki, and who wasn't afraid to say so.

And his parents...were ok with that.

"What do you think, Hajime?"

Tohru's voice broke in on Hajime's thoughts, and he looked up in surprise, then embarrassment.

"Sorry Mom, what?"

Tohru looked back at him with a little giggle. "I said that I think that it's too bad we couldn't stay longer, but that I'm very glad we came. Mutsuki agrees," she said, giving the other boy a smile, "but I wanted to know what you thought," she said, looking at Hajime affectionately. "I know that none of this was in your plan for this weekend.”

Hajime smiled. "No, none of this was in my plan, but I'm glad, yes. About all of it, honestly, but especially about you two coming,” he said, looking fondly between his parents. “It was good to see you, and to have time to actually talk about...things. Without having to deal with Chaos at the same time."

Kyo's mouth twitched, and Tohru beamed at Hajime, then frowned, before she sighed.

"Hajime, you know how I feel about that nickname for your siblings."

"It doesn't apply to Katsu, Mom, except when he lets Sachi get to him."

"Says the man who's been letting literally everything get to him lately," Mutsuki murmured teasingly, earning him a blush from Hajime.

"That's different. And I didn't say I'm blaming Katsu, just that he gets loud when he's upset."

"Again-"

"-Pretty sure that's just normal for our family," Kyo cut in, looking at the boys before smiling at his wife. "Tohru aside, anyway. And on that note...yeah," he agreed, "I'm glad we were able to talk, too, without your brother and sister around. Though I am glad you're planning to tell 'em, Hajime, 'cause I'm pretty sure they're gonna be able to tell something's up with your mom."

Hajime glanced at Tohru, who was smiling sheepishly at him, and he chuckled.

"Yes, you've never been good at hiding when you're happy about something, Mom."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Tohru protested, and the other three all laughed. Then Tohru smiled, reaching out a hand to Hajime. "And I am happy about this, Hajime. Truly. Happy you're happy, happy you told us..."

"Yeah," Kyo agreed, smiling at Hajime. "It's been...a pretty good weekend."

And Hajime agreed.

That night, Hajime and Mutsuki sat once more on the floor in Hajime's room, talking over the events of the weekend.

"So...your parents know about us too," Hajime said, looking at Mutsuki. "They seemed to take it well, don't you think?"

"You ever thought they wouldn't?" Mutsuki asked, looking at him in surprise. "I'm pretty sure they like you nearly as much as they like me, and considering how much they like me, that's really high praise."

"Well, yeah, but just because they like me doesn't mean they'd be happy," Hajime said, rolling his eyes.

"Why not?"

Hajime gave Mutsuki an exasperated look. "Don't you ever have that starry-eyed optimism turn around and bite you, Mutsuki?"

Mutsuki was quiet for a moment, then he smiled slightly.

"Sometimes, yes. And when it does, before you ask, yes, it does suck. But more often, things work out. Like this weekend," he said, his smile brightening as he reached over and took Hajime's hand. "I said everything was going to work out, didn't I?"

"Maybe once or twice," Hajime said with a wry face, and Mutsuki laughed.

"See, if you'd have just listened to me the first time I told you, you could have saved yourself a lot of stress and us a lot of time! But that's ok," he said, smiling. "The important thing is that it's out there now. We're out there, now," he added with a teasing grin, and Hajime snorted, then smiled.

"Yes...we are."

Not to everyone, not yet. They still had more people to tell before they were comfortable just being out and open. But the people they had most wanted to tell, the people Hajime had most feared telling...they all knew. His parents and Mutsuki's parents were all in the loop, now, and as unbelievable as it had seemed a mere two days ago, they were all happy for them.

Not only that, but Kazuma had been able to tell Hajime's parents about himself, too, and regardless of what Kazuma had been telling himself all those years, Hajime hoped it was a relief for him to have the truth out there. His grandpa had certainly looked happy the previous day, and Hajime sincerely hoped he was.

How much longer would it have taken Hajime to get to this point, if he hadn't had Kazuma to help him?

Hajime was quiet for a little while, thinking about it. Then he sighed, and Mutsuki reflexively looked his way, a slight hint of concern flickering in his eyes. But at the sight of Hajime's smile, Mutsuki broke into a smile of his own.

"Thinking deep thoughts?"

"Maybe," Hajime said, leaning back against the bed.

"Anything you want to share?" Mutsuki asked, scooting up beside Hajime, and Hajime glanced at him affectionately.

"How about, 'I love you, Mutsuki, and I don't care who knows?'"

"Liar."

At Mutsuki's laughing denial, Hajime's eyes flared.

"What?"

"Not about the loving me part, that part's true," Mutsuki said, eyes dancing. "But you do care. You care because you want them to know."

"You know what I meant, and way to ruin the moment," Hajime said, elbowing him.

"I didn't ruin anything," Mutsuki retorted. "I just think that saying what you actually mean makes it sound even better."

Hajime thought about that for a second, then it was his turn to grin.

"Ok, maybe it does."

"See? And not to sound like I'm keeping score, but that's me being right. Again."

"Does it hurt, trying to contain that much ego?"

Mutsuki laughed again, then his smile softened as he looked over at Hajime.

"I love seeing you like this, Hajime. Relaxed. Happy. Content. Almost as much as I love you."

Hajime smiled. "I know." Then he sighed, that time much less happily. "Enjoy it while you can; there's less than two months until the center test."

"Eh, you'll be fine. You've been studying for so long, you could sweep that test in your sleep. But just in case..."

Mutsuki gave Hajime a devilish grin, then leaned close and whispered,

"I think we know a few good relaxation techniques."

Chapter Text

Katsuro's brow was creased, and he was holding his folded hands in front of his mouth in a way that made him look more like Kyo than ever as he stared up at Hajime, his thoughtfulness obvious even through the computer screen.

"So...you're actually gay? Not bi, but gay? You've never actually liked girls, at all?" he finally asked, looking at Hajime, and Hajime shook his head. "Even though you went on dates?"

"It's called denial, Katsuro," Hajime said, his voice terse. "And no, I've never liked girls at all," he said, feeling impossibly awkward under the scrutinizing stares of two pairs of amber-red eyes.

"Well, I think it's a good thing," Sachiko said cheerfully from the other side of the split screen. "Boys are a lot more fun than girls, and they're a lot cuter, too, so it only makes sense you'd like them, Hajime!"

Both Hajime and Katsuro blinked at that, then they stared at their little sister with matching appalled expressions.

"You're not supposed to be thinking anyone's 'cute' yet, Sachi," Hajime barked. "You're not even eleven!"

"And don't let Mom or Dad hear you talk like that, unless you want Mom to be all over you or Dad to have a heart attack," Katsuro added, frowning.

Sachiko stuck her tongue out at them. "Don't be so stupid, you two. And I'm almost eleven, Hajime, so don't take that 'I'm so mature' tone with me."

"Eleven's still too young for you to be worrying about stuff like that, Sachi," Hajime said, and that time she rolled her eyes.

"Look, just 'cause you both decided to take your time dating doesn't mean I have to. Maybe I wanna see what the big deal is," she teased. "You both seem to like it, now you've started."

Hajime started to bristle, then he sighed and looked at Katsuro, attempting to ignore Sachiko's obvious button-pushing.

"So I guess...that means things are going well with Asuka, then?"

Katsuro couldn't hide his pleased grin as he looked down. "They're ok."

Sachiko snickered. "'Ok?' Is that what you're calling it, Katsu, when you're either seeing her or talking to her every single day after school? When you're even picking up 'extra practice time,' so you can see her more? What're you really practicing, hmm?"

Katsuro was blushing, and his tone was defensive as he said, "Hajime lives with Mutsuki, are you going to get on his case, too?"

"Depends on if Hajime only says things are going 'ok,'" Sachiko said, smirking up at Hajime.

Hajime was staring at his sister incredulously.

"Seriously, Sachi, what the hell happened to you? You're a kid!"

She glared at him, her cat-like eyes narrowing and making her look menacing in spite of her innocent face. "I am not a kid, Hajime, I'm almost eleven!" she repeated. "And I'm growing up, in case you haven't noticed," she said primly. "Though if you haven't, that's your fault for moving so far away."

Hajime shook his head, then glanced at his brother, who was giving him a pained look. "Is she always like this?"

"When Dad is out of earshot," Katsuro said with a sigh.

"Daddy needs a gentler touch," Sachiko said virtuously, then sighed herself. "You two both suck for treating me like a little kid, but you've got nothing on Daddy, or Mom, either,” she said, making a face. “Being the youngest sucks sometimes, everyone treats you like a baby," she said, collapsing dramatically back onto her bed.

Hajime actually grinned at that, though a part of him was tempted to roll his eyes at her dramatics.

"Being the oldest isn't always awesome either, Sachi."

"And both of you have it way easier than being in the middle" Katsuro grumbled. Then the three of them eyed each other, and finally they all laughed.

Then Sachiko sat back up and leaned close to the screen.

"So you never said, Hajime; how are things, with Mutsuki, hmm? Guess they have to be good if you're telling us, but...are they really good?" she asked, grinning at him.

Hajime blushed. Clearly he either needed to start talking to his sister more or a whole lot less, because the new dynamic between them was really unsettling.

There was something to be said for his mom’s point; moving away did make it harder for them to know each other.

But even with his blush, he still managed to smile. "Yes, things are good. Really good, even, but I'm not talking about it anymore with you," he shot at Sachiko, who had a devilish grin on her face.

"That's ok. I'll just ask Mutsuki, he's always been more open than you, and he loves me, besides," she said, her eyes glinting mischievously.

"You are not allowed to talk to Mutsuki about us!" Hajime yelped, his face reddening even more.

"Who's not allowed to talk to me about what now?" Mutsuki asked, sticking his head into the room.

"Hello, Mutsuki!" Sachiko caroled, at the same time Katsuro awkwardly said,

"Hi, Mutsuki."

Mutsuki grinned as he stepped in and walked up to Hajime's open laptop.

"Hi Katsuro, hi Sachi!" Then, glancing at Hajime, Mutsuki raised a brow. "Are you trying to stop me from forming a loving brotherly bond with your siblings, Hajime? Rude!"

"He's really mean sometimes, isn't he, Mutsuki?" Sachiko said with an exaggerated huff. "You know you could probably find someone a lot less grumpy to date, right?"

Once more, Hajime exchanged a glance with Katsuro, suddenly feeling sympathy for the fact Katsuro had to navigate a new relationship while living with...that.

Also a great deal of relief that his parents had come to Tokyo alone.

But as Mutsuki sat on the bed beside Hajime, beaming as he settled in to talk to Hajime's brother and sister, Hajime felt a wave of contentment wash over him.

He'd been fighting to keep this hidden for so long…

And those days were finally over.