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Lydia knew that Allison was gone the minute it happened. It was like a part of herself had been ripped out and thrown away. A link that she once had was severed and it pained her in such a way that she could feel it in her bones. When Lydia felt that break in the connection, she screamed almost immediately. She wailed out Allison's name with a broken sob and relentless tears streamed down her cheeks.
Lydia felt like Allison's death was her fault. If Lydia hadn't been so weak and pathetic – a damsel in distress – she could have gotten away from the nogitsune herself. But rather than that happening, Allison felt as if she was obligated to rescue her. If Lydia would have tried harder instead of breaking down and surrendering, her best friend wouldn't have been there. Allison would have been able to stay home rather than putting her life on the line and she wouldn't have gotten speared by one of the Oni's swords.
To top it all off, Lydia didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.
Lydia had known that Allison was going to die. Being able to detect impending death was one of the perks of being a banshee. She knew it would happen, but she just didn't want to believe it. She refused to even entertain the thought that she would soon be losing the person that she was the closest to. The overwhelming, foreboding presence of death was in the air and Lydia simply dismissed it. It was incredibly selfish of her, but that's the only way that she could cope. If she could change anything about the night she would change that. Lydia would have found a way to contact the rest of the pack. She would have told Allison to stay home.
It was only after the fight that they realized that Allison had discovered a way to destroy the Oni. Before her light was put out, she had fired an arrow at one of the spirits. Miraculously, it was killed instantaneously. It was because the arrowhead had been made of silver. Silver. It seemed so simple. Lydia could have probably figured out the solution if she hadn't been so distracted. It could have been over much sooner and it wouldn't have had to end in a undeserved death.
Allison hadn't been the same since the ordeal with the Nemeton. She had been having hallucinations and nightmares – mainly of her dead aunt Kate. On the nights that were especially bad though, Allison would call Lydia. No matter what time it was, Lydia would answer the phone and console her friend. Sometimes Allison would sob down the phone line without saying a single word and Lydia would whisper comforting words until Allison's breathing evened out. She would stay on the line until Allison fell asleep. Other times, Allison spilled out all of her feelings to Lydia. Talking about how terrified she was. Talking about how weak and vulnerable she felt. Lydia would try to assure Allison that she was strong – both physically and mentally – but she usually blew those comments off. And then there were the times that Allison had asked Lydia if she could just come over because she didn't feel like being alone that night.
“I feel so pathetic,” Allison once muttered when Lydia showed up at her house.
“Don't. Sometimes people just need some comfort. And if another person happens to be your source of comfort – then so be it,” Lydia had replied.
Allison hated to cry in front of people. She had been taught to hold it in, be a leader. She wasn't allowed to be weak. It was just how she was raised. Because of that, Allison tried to keep in her tears when Lydia was around her in person, but sometimes her facade broke. Allison would sob into Lydia's strawberry blonde hair and Lydia would hold her, rubbing her back, trying to calm her.
Of course it hadn't always been that bad. Lydia remembers when the two of them would go on shopping trips – partially because Lydia would force Allison into the events – and they would spend hours in the mall just trying on clothes. She remembers when Allison and Scott broke up and Allison raged about him for a whole day. Lydia joined her as Allison went through the “watching movies and eating ice cream” phase. Lydia remembers her birthday party that Allison was determined to make great even when everybody else thought she was a freak. Lydia tries to remember these positive things while she's in mourning, but she begins having nightmares about Allison's lifeless corpse even though she was never able to see it.
After Allison died, Lydia holed up in her bedroom. She spent her days and nights crying, but after a while she couldn't cry anymore. When it got to that stage, Lydia felt numb and empty. The pack tried to get her out and about – make her feel better – but she insisted on being left alone. Her other friends tried to tell her that they miss her just as much as Lydia. But they weren't there on those restless, tear-filled nights. They didn't help Allison pick out her homecoming dress and they didn't tell her to keep her chin up. They didn't know Allison like Lydia did. And now they never will.