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Alcohol consumption was truly a double edged sword.
While drinking after missions was fun, and definitely an incentive for the shorter half of the duo to actually bother about beating up people, it was also what would eventually lead to their fall. Except, their 'fall' came way too early than expected.
Double Black had a tradition of going drinking after extra annoying missions. An excuse to cool off and 'talk shit about those annoying mission jackasses'. Usually, they (read: Dazai) would drink in moderation, making sure that at least one of them was sober enough to get them to safety if they were pursued or something annoying happened.
But well, the situation today was something they weren't used to. Five hundred miles away from Yokohama for a mission, they had already eliminated all the possible threats. The ridiculous underground organisation that were trying to oppose Port Mafia were completely wiped out, not to be spared by the awe-inspiring force that was Yokohama's Deadliest Duo.
Enveloped in a false sense of security, Dazai and Chuuya found a sketchy bar in one of the darkened streets in this new city. And well, they were sketchy people and moreover, teenagers who were completely allowed to make poor decisions. Especially after they had just finished killing a bunch of useless people; it should be completely expected of them to make bad decisions!
Hence, it really, technically wasn't their fault when they ended up drinking for hours at the sketchy bar; Chuuya getting wasted after his first drink, and duo staying there long enough for his alcohol-tolerant partner to get drunk as well. If Dazai was drunk enough to lose his inhibitions, it was safe to assume that Chuuya was existing in a state of blacked out stupor. That's just how their alcohol tolerance worked.
As expected, the next few hours were a complete blur. Their eyes heavy with exhaustion, their bodies unable to move properly due to the combined factors of fatigue and intoxication; they still managed to make their way to places they've never been, doing things they probably won't remember the next morning.
By the time the next morning rolled past, and the bright afternoon approached, Dazai finally found it in himself to stir from his drunken stupor. Arms stretching above him, his bandages unravelling, the first thing the boy registered was the pounding in his head.
Yikes. So, this was what being hungover felt like. Dazai decided that he didn't ever want to feel this ever again as he continued to look around, in an attempt to regain his bearings.
The next thing he noticed was his partner asleep next to him. Chuuya's arm around the other's waist, his bright red hair spread out on the cheap pillowcase, the mafioso actually looked peaceful in his sleep. Dazai couldn't help but think about how his partner looked so much younger and at peace when he was asleep. Even if they were currently on a cheap bed, in an equally cheap motel room.
Speaking of the room they were staying in, it was seriously an absolute dump! Now, Dazai was used to staying in such shitty places. But Chuuya?! Nakahara Chuuya who spent half his monthly salary on luxury items like face masks and fluffy bathrobes and what not. Chuuya who cleaned his apartment every week to make sure it was perfectly pristine. How did such a person allow them to check into such a disgusting looking motel?!
Dazai slowly untangled himself from his still asleep partner, creeping his way to the curtained windows in an attempt to figure out exactly where they were. A couple of minutes of 'serious neck-craning out of the window' later, he finally figured it out! They were still in the same neighbourhood as the sketchy bar from yesterday. Maybe a street or down the actual bar? But definitely the same neighbourhood.
Dazai was honestly such a genius for figuring that out. True detective shit right there. In fact! He could totally give a detective career a shot if this whole Mafia thing didn't work out. Just food for thought, no big deal.
But currently, any futuristic thoughts would have to wait. The priority now would be dealing with a very hungover Chuuya, who was just beginning to stir as well. As expected of a brute chibi like him, the first thing out of his mouth after sitting up was a string of profanities. Some more profanities were directed at Dazai himself, after which he finally relented and fetched the aspirin and water for his partner.
Chuuya got hungover easily, hence why Dazai constantly had aspirin on him just for the annoying slug's sake. He just never figured he'd need it himself as well. Between the two of them, they popped four aspirins and let about twenty minutes pass before they were coherent again.
Finally feeling himself again, Chuuya sat up on the bed properly, "Jesus. Were you drunk too? How much did we drink last night, damn it?"
Dazai merely shrugged in response, "No clue. I stopped counting after my sixth glass."
The other mafioso's eyes widened hilariously, "Sixth glass?! And if I was with you for so long... Jeez. No wonder I don't remember anything."
Dazai murmured lazily as he stretched some more, "The question is, how is a lightweight chibi like you still alive after so much alcohol?"
Chuuya was hungover, but not too hungover to kick his annoying bastard of a partner, "Shut up. I'm not a lightweight."
His partner nodded sagely, clearly not hungover enough to be able to be still this annoying, "Right. Alcohol is just potent! You're not a lightweight at all."
The redhead kicked him once again, "Exactly, so shut the fuck up already. It's too early for your bullshit."
"It's literally past noon."
A punch to his arm this time, "And we probably went to bed at five in the morning."
Chuuya then finally looked around. He'd clearly been too busy with dealing with bullshit to notice where they actually were till now. But that was obviously in the past. Chuuya had now made use of his wonderful eyes to gaze upon the disgusting place they were in.
He wrinkled his nose, "Also, where are we? This doesn't look like a very cute room."
Dazai snorted, now up from the bed and trying to find his clothes, "It's a motel down the street from the bar. I was wondering how you let us check in here."
Chuuya complained, his hands feeling up the bed to find his clothes as well, "Well the last thing I remember is ordering the second glass or Merlot! I have zero memories of what happened after."
His partner was still busy doing his own thing, but it was this moment that Chuuya's eyes fell upon his hands. It didn't take him too long to realise that something was very off. For one, he wasn't wearing his gloves. The fuck? He never took off his gloves, until it was to use corruption. Secondly, there was a silver band around his left ring finger.
A silver ring.
On his ring finger, of his left hand.
A wedding ring.
Chuuya's face paled immediately as he connected the dots and realised the implications of his situation. Elegant, softly whispered words were heard aloud, "What the actual fuck."
Dazai was used to hearing his partner randomly curse for no reason, but he still peeked out his head from the bathroom, "What's up?"
The other looked right at him, his face suddenly looking way too serious, "Oi, Dazai. You got a ring on your finger too?"
The brunet stared at him for a few seconds before walking towards him, left hand held out, "Um. Looks like it? The hell?"
Chuuya groaned as he flopped down on the bed again, "Fuck. FUCK. This is the absolute the worst."
For someone so smart, it sure took Dazai an unnecessary amount of time to figure out what was going on. His lips parted in surprise, he finally whispered when he'd connected all the dots, "We got married when we were drunk?"
Chuuya, who was looking through the papers on the bedside table, presented a rectangular certificate-like paper, "Yep, sure looks it. Here's our instant marriage certificate or whatever."
The other took a good look at the paper before yelping, "It has our names on it!"
As expected, he was regarded with incredulous eyes, "That's kind of the whole point of a marriage certificate, asshole. It's legal and everything now."
Dazai's jaw dropped as if he was just realising the situation, "Wait, so... You're... You're my husband?! I'm married to a silly chibi?!"
Chuuya repeated, "This is the fucking worst. I can't believe we got drunk enough to pull shit like this. I didn't want to marry you like this, damn it!"
Well, Dazai wasn't expecting that to hurt as much as it did. Maybe hurt wasn't the right word. It just really stung. Sure, he knew that Chuuya didn't care much about him; hate him, even. No, he was just being stupid. Why would Chuuya ever easily accept them being married? His reaction was perfectly justified. But still...
Pushing annoying thoughts aside, Dazai spoke up weakly, "Well at least you didn't marry a complete stranger. It'd be harder to get an annulment if you did."
His partner nodded in agreement, albeit reluctantly, "You have a point, I guess. Jeez, imagine if I'd end up in this shitty motel room with a stranger. Ew, nightmare."
Chuuya was clearly opposed to being married to being a stranger. He clearly was, just like any sane person would. But still! How could Chuuya even think of sharing a shitty motel room with a stranger! This was... This was rude and unacceptable. Dramatic feelings aside, Chuuya's easy acceptance to the idea of getting annulment certainly stirred up very negative emotions within Dazai.
But it shouldn't, right? Anybody would want to get an annulment if they accidentally married someone they didn't want to marry. It was perfectly natural, and Dazai had no business feeling upset about it. But what if...?
Nope. He wouldn't allow himself to indulge in such stupid, childish fantasies. Before he could say something so stupid aloud, he decided to get busy and start gathering information on this matter. It didn't take him too long to find his phone and start tapping away, trying to find out more about the concept of an annulment.
Chuuya looked up at him with curious eyes, "What are you doing?"
Before responding, his partner made sure to swallow down his plethora of emotions, "Trying to figure out how to apply for an annulment, obviously."
...
"You want to get an annulment?" This was followed by a strange look of discomfort on Chuuya's face. An expression Dazai hadn't seen before, which was weird considering they were together all the time.
He blinked at his partner, "Well, it's not about me, of course. You want an annulment, so you'll be getting one."
Chuuya let out an annoyed sigh as he swatted away the phone from the other's hands, "I don't want an annulment, oi! Don't just go deciding things for me without even asking? Fucking hell, you bastard."
Wait. What?!
Dazai's head tilted of its own accord, purely in confusion, "You don't want an annulment?"
His partner insisted, "Of course not! Do you want one?"
Dazai shook his head immediately, "Obviously not!"
Chuuya sighed to himself before reaching up and hand and resting it on top of the other's head, "Well then, why are you trying to get an annulment?"
The brunet frowned, hands waving around in explanation, "Well! Why would you want to willingly remain married to me? It's not like you meant to marry me or anything."
For a few seconds, Chuuya said absolutely nothing. He simply stared at his partner, as if trying to figure out something. When he'd finally figured out what he was trying to, he muttered a bunch of curses as he dug around the pockets of his discarded coat, "Fucking hell. Ruin my perfect proposal, why don't you? Fucking asshole."
A ring box was thrown at Dazai, the thrower looking perfectly pissed off, "Alright, get it perfectly straight, you gay ass fucker. I'm not upset about being married to you. What I'm upset about, is my cute, perfect proposal ruined because we just had to get drunk and pull this shit. I very much did and do want to be married to you."
Dazai said nothing for a while, as he opened the ring box to inspect the two matching black and silver rings inside it. Thumbing the edge of one of the rings, he spoke up, "You... You were going to propose to me?"
Chuuya sighed in annoyance, "Well, obviously! I've had the rings on me ever since we fucking turned eighteen. I just never found the right time to ask you, and! Now my perfect proposal is ruined because of this stupid thing!"
Dazai grinned, "Let me understand this clearly. You're upset about marrying me because you didn't get to ask me to marry you?"
His partner huffed cutely, "Exactly right. So annoying. Also! We're wearing the pretty rings I chose alright?"
Dazai laughed some more as he reached over and sprawled himself over his husband's lap, "That's fine, but we got married with these rings."
Chuuya sighed as he proceeded to card his finger's through the other's hair, "These rings will just have to go on the ring fingers of our right hands. We'll keep both rings."
The other considered that, "Okay. That makes sense."
That was responded to with an acknowledging hum as the two of them went back to their comfortable silence, trying to wrap their heads around everything that had happened and that was said between them so far.
The idea that Chuuya had been carrying around rings, trying to figure out the perfect time to propose? Wasn't that just so cute of him! His precious little Chuuya, so cute for no reason at all? In all seriousness, it was amazing to Dazai how such a human and wonderful person like Chuuya could ever even consider liking him. The fact that a heart like Chuuya's could love a heart like his? It was utterly ridiculous.
The implication that Chuuya loved him enough to marry him, and want to have him around for the rest of his life? That was just unthinkable, wasn't it? Apparently not, because now they were married and Chuuya didn't seem to have any negative feelings about it. His only regret was not being able to propose himself?!
Well, because Dazai was a lovely and nice person, he'd very gracefully give his dog a chance to eliminate his regrets.
Dazai spoke up in an extremely annoying voice, "Ne Chuuya, you can still propose to me. I'll give you the chance. Aren't I so wonderful?!"
As expected, nothing was going to change even if they were married now. Chuuya still kicked him just the same, "Shut up, you social misfit. If you were even half as wonderful as you claim to be, you'd have found us a better room, damn it!"
He then sighed as he turned to face the other properly, "But fine. I'll give you a proposal, idiot."
Dazai's stomach was doing weird things again! As for his heart, it was being very annoying as well! Racing like this because of a stupid slug, wasn't that just preposterous? It was just Chuuya! There was no reason to beat so fast over such a small, tiny chibi. It just Chuuya who was an annoying little brat, and who took care of him and who was just so wonderful and gorgeous, wasn't he?
It was just Chuuya proposing!
Oh my god. It was Chuuya proposing.
Dazai was pretty sure that he wouldn't survive the upcoming minute as his partner reached his hand to intertwine their fingers. Chuuya's lips ghosting over the other's soft brown hair, Dazai's back pressed against his partner's torso, both of them overflowing with stupid, unwanted feelings.
Chuuya began, his voice soft, "I'll make this quick. Shitty Dazai, asshole love of my life, bastard partner of mine. You are so annoying and I hate you so much! For one, you never clean up after yourself, oi! And you leave our bathroom so dirty for no reason. You can't even cook and I have to take care of your suicidal ass. It's practically a full time job! Being a mafioso feels like a part time job compared to that, oi.
"Plus you're absolutely so ridiculous. And you never do any paperwork and you push all of it to me. You're just an asshole in general, and a constant annoyance. You might be a genius or whatever, but most of your plans are just annoying and you couldn't even go through with them half the time if I didn't co-operate. Most days, I genuinely want to kill you myself even if it's just for a single second of peace and quiet."
Dazai whispered, "Not that I'm too experienced or anything, but I really don't think that's how proposals work."
Chuuya continued, his voice insisting, "But, despite all that, I'd absolutely hate it if you actually died, so don't go dying on me. Alright, Mackerel? You're very annoying but I'd rather deal with your annoying ass for the rest of my life than never see you again. So, with that said, asking you to marry me is futile, considering that marriage certificate that's on the table as we speak. But like... I don't know, man. Just keep this in mind or something, I guess."
Dazai snorted, clapping his hands as his partner finally finished, "Brilliant proposal. How romantic! Totally worthy of being in a Nicholas Sparks movie."
Chuuya just grinned, after rolling his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Say what you will, bastard. You're still this close to crying."
Hs partner pinched him the arm before turning his head to kiss him, "Shut up, Slug."
Chuuya ruffled his hair before initiating another kiss, "You shut the fuck up, Mackerel. Anyway, I have something very important to say."
Dazai looked up at him, eyes wide and doe-like, "Oh? What is it?"
The redhead untangled himself from the other and got out of bed, "I'm fucking starving and I needed food literally two hours ago. Move your lazy ass, shithead. We're going to find someplace decent to eat."
Dazai couldn't help but laugh in amusement as he obliged and started to get dressed, "Oh, is this what they call the honeymoon?"
Chuuya threw a shoe at him, "Shut the fuck up."
His partner just laughed some more as the two of them continued to bicker, whilst getting dressed. Fifteen minutes later, the duo were fully dressed and had gathered all their stuff, ready to check out. Once that was done, they wandered around trying to find a place to eat.
They just happened to stumble upon the bar from yesterday, and that's when they learned that the bar was actually right behind a wedding chapel. It was obvious enough; Double Black ended up getting hitched at that very chapel. They hesitated for about a second before walking in and asking around to see if anybody had taken any pictures.
Sure enough, the people there happened to have a bunch of pictures from their wedding ceremony. Including a video of the two-minute ceremony. The duo got all the pictures and videos on their devices before ensuring that everyone else had deleted all this evidence of their marriage. It was best not to leave around such things for any possible future rival organisations.
Later, while finally finding a place to eat, and during eating a light breakfast, the duo watched the five minute video of the ceremony. It was rather rushed; the two of them were completely wasted, but still somehow coherent enough to make stupid vows.
The priest was quick in reciting his blessings, after which the pair of grooms slurred out their vows. The pair currently laughed as they watched a very drunk Chuuya declare on their screen, "Listen here, you piece of shit. I hate you so much and I'm going to hate you for the rest of my life! But I'll also love you forever so like shut the fuck and say your 'I Do's, asshole."
Dazai had quite the time laughing over such a wedding vow. It was just so much like Chuuya to say something like that.
Meanwhile on the screen, Dazai clasped his hands around three flowers, a veil on his head, "Ehh, I can't believe I have to spend the rest of my living days with a chibi slug! How truly unfortunate. But I guess it's okay to compromise like this, because Chuuya is cute and tiny and I love him."
This was followed by them saying 'I do', and those silver rings being exchanged, that now rested on their right ring fingers. Then they did the whole 'you may now kiss the groom' thing. In the video, Chuuya had to stand on his tiptoes to kiss his spouse, while said shitty spouse just kept laughing at him and calling him a little chibi. As expected, he was then kicked by Chuuya.
In all, their wedding was truly very chaotic. Very fitting of Yokohama's Devastating Rivals. That's right, rivals. Are you even rivals if you're not married? It just makes sense, really.
Chuuya snorted as he put away his phone to continue his meal in peace, "Let's just... Not."
Dazai grinned at him, "Well, at least we have a very cute wedding video, right? Fitting, after such a cute proposal."
His partner just hummed at him, a genuine smile gracing his face, "Yeah, yeah. No regrets there, partner."