Chapter Text
“What about food?" Killua fussed. "Do you have enough for dinner? Wait, let me transfer you—”
“Brother! I’m fine!” Alluka huffed through the phone. She was entering her first year of university and had just moved into the dorms. Killua, who had stolen her from their family five years ago and had been on the run since, was naturally worried about leaving her alone for the first time.
Killua took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to relax. This is what he always wanted for Alluka. For her to go to school and have a normal life. She was entering a fashion design program at Yorknew University, a dream she had been chasing for years.
“Brother?” Alluka said, once the silence lingered too long. Killua snapped out of his thoughts.
“Yeah, Alluka. I’m here.” He chuckled. “You let me know if you need anything at all, okay?”
“Of course. I’ll try to call you every day.”
“Try? You better—" He heard the sound of a door opening in the background.
“Brother, my roommate is here. I have to go now, bye! Love you!” The call immediately ended before Killua could get another word in.
He sucked in a breath. “Bye, Alluka. Love you too.” Though no one heard his words.
He plopped onto his bed, sprawling his arms out and staring at the ceiling.
This is really good for her. She’s living her dream. Killua thought to himself, wondering why there was a sinking feeling in his chest.
Ever since they ran away together, Killua was her guardian. They went everywhere together and did everything together. Alluka demonstrated great interest in fashion design and their hotel rooms would always be cluttered with fabrics that she’d experiment with. Killua got so used to the sound of the sewing machine running in the background, and this new silence didn’t sit right with him.
He got Alluka through online high school, not wanting to register her in any public school database in case their family would find them. He supported every project she created for her college application portfolio. Their efforts paid off when Alluka got into her dream program at Yorknew University. He couldn’t be happier for her. She would get to make friends, live a normal life that she deserved, and she was chasing her dream career that would very soon become a reality.
But now, there was a strange silence around him. Alluka didn’t have to rely on him every day anymore. And Killua had no one else to go to. Alluka was the only consistent person in his life.
Gon…
Killua shook his head immediately, trying to get that thought out of his head. He hated how that name had never escaped his mind. How Gon popped into his mind several times a day even after all these years.
He hadn’t seen Gon in years. He caught a brief glimpse of him at Leorio’s birthday party two years ago, and shit was he attractive. Even from a distance, Gon stood out from the rest. He glowed. He was still the brightest thing Killua had ever seen in his life. Killua felt himself smiling at how animated Gon was, throwing his very toned arms around Leorio and Kurapika. Killua found himself almost feeling left out.
Maybe I should talk to him… He thought to himself during the party, feeling pathetic for basically hiding on the other side of the room. He was normally so calm and collected, but somehow Gon made his brain (...and body) malfunction.
But right when Killua gathered the courage to approach him, some girl bounced up to Gon instead. Killua felt a bitter ache inside him at the sight, choosing to run away and quietly cry about it for the rest of the night instead.
Obviously Gon wouldn’t want anything to do with him now. Gon was happy and had moved on. He probably didn’t even think about Killua anymore.
Not to mention, he was definitely straight. Killua remembered how it felt when Gon first told him about the dates he had gone on back at Whale Island. How the instant shock and jealousy hit him like a boulder. And of course, he would never forget the date he went on with Palm, the date he literally stalked, using the “I need to protect Gon” line to himself as an excuse. Women just loved Gon. They were drawn to his charisma and charm, and Killua couldn’t even blame them.
Killua knew for a long time now that he was gay. And over the years he really did try to notice other guys. Alluka even forced him to talk to a “cute waiter” once. But Killua’s heart was never in it. The interactions felt superficial and the process of getting to know a total stranger just felt like a chore. It never felt right.
Besides, most of these people were normal. Not ex-assassins. Not hunters who could go on dangerous adventures. There was no way Lucas from Pancake House would be “the one”, as Alluka would put it. Killua wasn’t an ordinary person. No would in the world would want to be with someone who was a murderer. Someone who came from a crazy, dangerous family and had to constantly be on the run.
Except Gon. It would only ever be Gon.
Killua covered his face with his hands, trying to get the thoughts to stop. He didn’t notice how his cheeks were wet. He swallowed, hating how Gon could still affect him like this so many years later. It was one of the things that caused him to completely dive into everything his sister needed, doting on her constantly and looking after her to avoid thinking about Gon. And it worked.
Mostly.
But now that he was by himself again, there was nothing stopping those thoughts from constantly coming back. He felt the same loneliness he did before Gon came into his life.
For a while, Killua felt angry with Gon. Because it was so easy for him to throw away their friendship. That Gon clearly forgot about him and never cared for him, while Killua was a broken mess. In the beginning of their separation, they would occasionally send each other texts or pictures of where they were. Gon called him once to describe what happened with Ging, and they talked a couple more times here and there. But over time, the calls and texts became less frequent. And Killua’s anger only turned into sadness.
He no longer denied the fact that his feelings for Gon were much beyond that of friendship. He knew deep down that he was hopelessly in love with him. And those feelings never went away, even after all these years. He really tried to move on, to distract himself from the thought of Gon.
So much for that. Killua huffed, wiping his eyes furiously.
“I need to get out of here.” He muttered to himself, realizing that staying inside and moping all day would get things worse.
I could use a hot chocolate. Killua remembered how there was a fancy coffee shop just a few blocks away. He put on his shoes and jacket, before grabbing his wallet and keys. He exited the building and closed his eyes at the cool fall wind running through his hair.
He began walking towards the coffee shop, taking out his phone to look up the name of the place and their menu. Maybe they had chocolate croissants…
Killua turned a corner and started walking past an alley when he suddenly froze, a paralyzing, familiar fear taking over his body. One that he hadn’t felt in years. There was a sinister aura closeby, and Killua could immediately identify who it was.
“Illumi.” He growled, his hands balling into fists. He would not show fear. He knew he would have to face his brother eventually. He was so thankful Alluka wasn’t with him.
Killua stared down the dark alley, and he couldn’t see anything at first. He scanned the area quickly, his senses heightening. He was ready to run. Ready to fight. Ready for anything that Illumi would try to do.
After a few moments, a lean figure with long silky hair and pale skin came out of the alley. Illumi hadn’t changed at all. Those dead eyes stared straight into Killua’s, creating a nauseating uneasiness inside him.
Stay calm. Find an opportunity to run. Don’t try to fight him.
“It’s been a very long time, Kil. You look well.” Illumi said, taking a step closer to him.
“Back the fuck off.” Killua growled, not stepping back or showing how terrified he was. He extended his nails, ready to attack at any moment.
“How mean.” Illumi sighed. “It’s been so long since we’ve last seen each other. We all missed you. Especially Mother and Father.”
“What the hell do you want?” Killua demanded. He gave him an icy glare, an intimidation tactic that his mother once said she was so proud of. He narrowed his eyes at him, searching for any signs that Illumi was going to attack.
“You’ve been away from home long enough. You’ve had plenty of time to travel and fool around and pursue all this nonsense.” Illumi stated, his eyes staring straight into Killua’s soul. “Come back home and be the assassin you’re supposed to be. You’re the heir, and I know you haven’t forgotten.”
Killua felt himself shaking, but he would never admit defeat. He stood his ground.
“I’m never going home, and I’m not going to be an assassin!” He yelled. “I told you that six years ago, and I’m telling you now that nothing has changed. So fuck off!” He crossed his arms.
Illumi frowned slightly. “How childish. Running away from home has made you nothing but a rebellious brat. Father was wrong to let you run off.”
“Great.” Killua scoffed. “I’m a rebellious brat. Clearly not fit to be the heir. So how about you do it and just leave me alone?”
“It’s the Yorknew auction. I came here every year to try and find you. Six years and no sign of you here at all. I was seriously considering not coming this time.” Illumi pressed his palms together and gave him an uncharacteristically bright smile. “But I’m so glad that I did! Except…”
Killua clenched his fists tighter, knowing exactly what would come out of his brother’s mouth next.
“Where’s it?” He asked. And it took all of Killua’s restraint not to just launch himself at Illumi and claw his eyes out.
“She is very far away from here and safe.” He lied, hoping that Illumi wouldn’t think to check the university’s database. He registered her under a different name, after they were able to receive fake IDs through his Hunter connections. There was no way Illumi could find her, right?
“You think I would just tell you where she is? You think you have any way to get to her?” Killua let out a laugh, hoping he sounded more confident than he actually was. “If you do, you’re sorely mistaken. You are never going to find Alluka, and even if by some miracle you did…” Killua paused, noticing how Illumi’s expression changed from laid back to more intensely curious. He knew that Illumi was afraid of Alluka’s abilities.
“I made a wish to Nanika to immediately have you, Mother, and Father killed if any of you ever laid a hand on her.” He lied.
Well, he really tried to make a wish like that with Nanika. But Alluka freaked out and said there was no way his death would be prevented if they made that deal and Illumi found them. She didn’t let him do it, saying there was nothing in the world she would do to risk his life like that.
Illumi’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’re bluffing. Taking 3 lives would most likely risk yours as well. Alluka is a killing machine. And you’re the closest to her. There’s no doubt you would die as well.”
This is where Killua would really have to sell his lies.
“Well, it’s too bad you don’t know all the rules of her abilities, huh?” Killua couldn’t help but sport a cocky grin when he felt Illumi’s calm aura get unstable for a moment. “I’ll be just fine. Don’t you worry.”
The atmosphere changed suddenly. Illumi’s aura became more aggressive. Killua quickly got into a fighting stance, preparing himself for anything.
“Well, then I guess I’ll just have to catch you and put a couple needles in you to get the truth out.” He stated.
And that was Killua’s cue to run.
Activating his Godspeed, he bolted the hell away from his brother. He was thankful he kept up his training. He knew that Godspeed wouldn’t be enough to get away from Illumi though. He probably had something set up, other people secretly watching over him, ready to chase him.
To an ordinary person, Killua would only look like a flash gone by, leaving nothing behind but a gush of wind. But as he ran, he noticed someone making direct eye contact with him from a far distance. How could they see him when he was going so fast?
It was one of Illumi’s men. And Killua was headed straight towards him.
Gathering the Nen in his feet, he jumped up high onto the top of a skyscraper. Combined with his Godspeed, getting up there was no issue. It gave him a moment to catch his breath.
But only a moment. Because Killua could feel Illumi approaching already.
“God fucking dammit!” He cursed angrily, scanning the scene ahead of him to try and find an escape route. He ran down the side of the building easily and cut through a busy street.
“Gotcha.” An unfamiliar voice said from behind him. Killua’s eyes widened and he didn’t bother looking either. He wasn’t going to let himself get attacked.
But then something strange happened. There was a bright flash and a sudden rush of heat spreading in his body. Then, it felt like he was getting...smaller? The plants on the ground next to him began to look a lot bigger. Killua felt soft fabric brushing his body and realized it was his shirt, now laying on the ground.
“What did fuck did you do to me?” Killua yelled to the strange man behind him, only to shut his mouth when he noticed the strange sound that came out.
No, it wasn’t his voice. It was a…meow?
Killua looked down at himself and jumped in surprise when he noticed he had not two legs but four. They were covered in long snow-white fur. The smells around him got much more intense. The noises from the city were hurting his ears.
“How cute.” The man chuckled. He stepped towards Killua, backing him into the wall. He couldn’t run anymore. He wasn’t even a human. But he could understand the words coming out of the man’s mouth. He could think like his human self. But his body on the other hand…
Killua hissed at the man, an instinct that came to him naturally since he was facing a threat.
“Wow, real scary. You’re stuck like this for 72 hours, kid. Thanks to my Nen ability. Illumi is going to pay me very handsomely for you.” The man beamed, his teeth disgustingly yellow and crooked. He cornered Killua and leaned down to pick him up, leaving no space for him to run away.
“Mew!” Is what came out of Killua’s mouth. He wasn’t exactly sure how this cat body worked. Controlling it felt so strange. But what he did do was scratch the living hell out of the ugly man’s face. He struggled in his grip and bit down on his hand hard enough to draw blood. The man cried out in pain and dropped him.
“You fucking asshole, get over here!” He yelled. But that was all Killua needed. He ran the absolute hell away from him. He didn’t have his Godspeed in this cat form. With Illumi’s resources, he could easily find him now.
No, he needed a place to hide. Someone’s home or some sort of shelter until he would turn back to normal. Shit. He wouldn’t be able to talk to Alluka for the next three days. He needed to go back to his clothes and dig his phone out of his pocket. If that man took it…Illumi would find Alluka just by tracing it!
He could still read…Maybe he could send Alluka an email from his laptop? He couldn’t help but inwardly laugh at the thought of his cat form doing that.
That man is probably finding Illumi now. This is my only chance to get my phone.
“Kitty kitty!” A little boy chirped from the sidewalk. Shit, he really didn’t have time for this. He simply ran away, feeling slightly bad for the pouting kid he left behind but this really wasn’t the time.
He navigated his way back to the street where he was turned into the cat. He was starting to get more used to the movement in this new form. And he had to thank his heightened sense of smell, he could spot that disgusting man from miles away now.
He turned the corner and breathed a sigh in relief when he noticed his clothes piled at the end of the street, still untouched. He could make out the shape of his cell phone in his pant pocket.
“Are you lost, kitty?” A deep, gentle voice came from across the street. His scent was calming, soothing. Was this a trap? Did Illumi anticipate he’d come back to get his things? Fuck, he should’ve thought this through more carefully! But this man’s scent…his aura. Killua felt like he could trust it. Like he wasn’t in danger.
He his head turned at the sound of the voice and there was a young man approaching him. He was tall, with big muscles and tan skin. His hair was slightly messy, sticking upwards in a spiky fashion that for some reason worked on him. He had the biggest, brightest light brown eyes that Killua had ever—
Gon?!
Killua swore his mind was playing tricks on him. There was no way that this was Gon, approaching him with a gentle smile on his face. No, he had been longing for this boy for too long. It officially got to the point where he was hallucinating. Great.
“Are you okay? Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you.” The man said, reaching out slowly to Killua’s face with his hand. Killua had no idea if he was dreaming, or if he had officially lost his mind. Ignoring everything his instincts were telling him to do, to fucking run, he decided to lean forward and sniff his hand instead.
This was undeniably Gon. It was a scent that the human form of Killua only caught a subtle glimpse of at times when they were kids. Except now it was so much stronger. But not in a bad way. No, it was warm. It was so…nice.
Gon’s smile widened and Killua was surprised when he could feel his fingers gently stroking his head. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, feeling a bliss form through his body at the contact. His body was vibrating with warmth.
“Who would do this to you?” Gon frowned, lifting Killua’s left paw only to see blood coming out.
“Mew.” Is all that could come out of Killua’s mouth. What are you doing in Yorknew?!
“Don’t worry, I’m going to help you!” Gon stroked his fur softly, and god damn that felt really nice...
“Come on. Let me take you home so that I can get you some food and fix up your wounds, okay? I promise you’re safe.” Gon opened his arms, and Killua stared up at him for a moment. In all the stress, excitement, and extreme disbelief, he used this moment to really take Gon in. He couldn’t believe this beautiful man, the same one he had been hopelessly pining over for years, was now in front of him. Gon had become his knight in shining armor. Maybe it was a sign…
This is so bad for me. Like this is gonna ever help me move on… Killua thought, but then he laughed to himself. There was no chance he would ever love someone even half as much as he loved Gon. There was no point denying it anymore.
“Bless you!” Gon exclaimed, mistaking his laugh for a sneeze. His arms were still out, and Killua noticed how Gon was respecting his boundaries. Not grabbing at him but rather waiting for him to approach. He understood now why animals loved Gon so much. He had such a natural way with them, his scent and aura were so pleasant and calming.
This is the only way I’ll be able to spend time with Gon. Killua thought sadly, not taking his eyes off him for even a second.
Even if it’s just for three days…I’ll do it. I just want to be with you, Gon.
Killua stepped forward slowly, before trying to stand up on his two back legs. Gon understood the gesture, immediately picking him up like a baby. Killua felt that pleasant humming come back to him again. Gon’s arms were so big and strong. Killua felt so safe and warm. Like for the first time he could let his guard down and allow Gon to take care of him. Even with the years of distance, he trusted him with his life. Gon was strong and powerful, and Killua imagined his abilities improved astronomically since the last time they spoke.
“Wait! My phone!” Killua tried to say, once he gained back some of his judgment. But instead it came out in a series of meows. When Gon looked at him confused, he pawed at the floor, pointing at the clothes.
“Oh, are these yours? We can take them home!” Gon exclaimed. Holding Killua with one arm, he used the other to stuff the clothes in his backpack. Killua felt instantly relieved. Now Illumi wouldn’t be able to track Alluka.
Gon shifted their position, allowing Killua to comfortably nestle himself into his arms. He couldn't help but bury his head into Gon’s neck, nuzzling him softly.
"I got you." Gon whispered soothingly.
Gon would never know it’s him. Killua could do this. He could spend these next three days with the love of his life, just in cat-form and without his knowledge…
No, it didn’t matter. Killua just couldn’t let him go like that. Not after all the years he spent missing him so terribly. Not after seeing Gon for the first time in years.
He would just have to savor every moment of these next three days. Before Gon would be gone from his life again.