Archive of Our Own

s w e e t

Vi is at the edge of the moat.
The moat that separates her from Caitlyn.

Memories of the last hours - the last days - come back to her. She sees Ekko, hard look, the leader of the Firelights ready to do anything to defend his people. She sees Powder.. the beautiful and kind Powder.. who has become Jinx, Silco's "daughter". And she sees Caitlyn on the other side of the bars of her cell, in her perfect uniform without a crease. She sensed it immediately. This moat between them.. it's always been there. From the beginning. But the minutes flew away one by one. They shared ups and downs, hurts, relief, anger, friendship, kindness, sarcasm and.. something else.. And Vi chose to forget about the existence of this moat. For the first time in her life, she chose to act as if it didn't exist. But in that moment, as Caitlyn's fingers glide down her cheek with all the tenderness in the world, reality has a steady hand around her throat and Vi is on the edge of the moat.

And a voice in her head says:
“you don't deserve her.
you haven't done enough.
you gave up too quickly.
you are the cause of all this.
you did jinx.
you didn't fight hard enough to get back to powder."

She captures Caitlyn's fingers between hers and pulls them away from her face - it burns her where their skins have touched, it burns her so much that she wants to rub her cheek until the sensation goes away, but what will happen if she releases the other girl's fingers?

Caitlyn has a good heart.
And Vi doesn't deserve the kindness of that "good heart".

Guilt has darkened her soul for far too long - it's all your fault, Violet. She should never have left Powder alone in that alley that day. She should have struggled harder. She should have fought over and over and never stopped. She should have escaped from that fucking cell. But she didn't. And she is losing the only family she has left.

And the voice says:
"maybe mylo was wrong.
it wasn't powder the problem.
it was you.
it's you.
you're a jinx.”

She drowns in the background of Caitlyn's bluish irises, when she finally dares to look up at her. And the other girl's eyes are flooded with a lot of emotion. Sweet emotions that turn her stomach. And Vi, she wants to yell at her: "don't look at me like that.. don't look at me like that please, it's burning", but she doesn't. Caitlyn is kind. She is smart, determined, strong, stubborn, organized.. beautiful. But most of all, she's kind. And as much a part of Violet would like to be lost forever in those two blue eyes that make her feel like she's looking at a cloudy sky - a perfect sky, far from memories of her childhood -, as much the mere fact of meeting the other girl's gaze has a devastating effect on her. It burns. It burns everywhere. She grimaces.

- "Are you hurt?" Caitlyn sits up, frowning. "I'm sorry, I should have thought of that before. How selfish I am. I'm going to get my father, he is an excellent doctor. He can examine you and-."

Vi stops her from escaping from the bed by tugging at their still intertwined fingers.

- "No! Not your dad!" She says, a little too quickly - shit, Vi, pull yourself together. "I mean.. I'm fine. Everything's fine."
- "Do you want me to.. examine you myself? I'm not as good as my father, but I know a few things and-."
- "Cupcake. I'm fine. Everything's fine. Okay?"

See? Caitlyn is so sweet it hurts.
The other girl doesn't say anything, just stares at her. Eyebrows furrowed. Tip of the nose raised. Eyes narrowed. Vi thinks that's pretty cute.

- "Okay, but I insist that you at least take a bath and a hot meal. And that's not even negotiable Vi. Don't even think about saying no."

Shit, she totally intended to say no.
Caitlyn stares at her again, without blinking once. And after a few minutes of silent battle, Vi looks away just in time not to see the winning expression on the other's face, even though she imagines it a little too easily.

This girl is a breath of fresh air, against Vi's will.

- "Don't move. I'm going to prepare the bath."
- "What is it?" Vi asks, as the other girl pulls away from the bed.
- "What 'what is it'?"
- "A bath."

Caitlyn pauses, her hand on the doorknob at the side of the bedroom, and turns her head to her, eyes surprised. And there's a whole mess of things going through her eyes, as she looks at Vi again. Then she relaxes and gives her a little smile.

- "It's like a shower, but better. It will do you good."

A vague explanation, but Vi trusts her blindly - it's not healthy, if Caitlyn doesn't cause her death, Vi will cause hers. She nods and jumps painfully – a physical pain she's been dragging around forever now, her best friend through the best and worst of times – on her own two feet to follow the Enforcer into the bathroom.

The bright light blinds her for a moment, but very quickly – too quickly – Vi is again on the edge of the moat between her and Caitlyn.

She remembers her childhood showers.
Polluted water from the river.
The Last Drop's cold water.
The hazy water of her parents' dilapidated shelter.
Lots of memories sticking to her skin.

It's so different from her memories here. The room is spacious, there is a shower and a.. bathtub? Ekko had shown her a sketch of it when they were children, he told her a thousand and one wonders about what was on the surface. There is also wooden furniture, with drawers surely filled to the brim. There are a ton of products, a ton of towels that look really soft. There are so many things and all Vi really sees is the moat at the edge of her feet.

And the voice in her head says:
"you don't belong here. leave before you burn her wings."

And once again, the voice is right. She should run away, get away from this house, away from this city, away from.. her. She should really do that.

But the scent of flowers slowly drifts into the room as Caitlyn fills the tub with hot water. And Vi feels her heart caught in a vice, in her ribcage. A vice that gently tightens around the vital organ, while she inhales for a second the smell in the air. That smells like Caitlyn. And it's soothing - painfully soothing.

The sound of running water stops and Caitlyn sets two large, pure white towels on the edge of the sink.

- "You get in the water and relax, okay?"

Vi nods, her eyes lost on the clarity of the water in the tub – it's so clear, so… different from the water down there.

- "Take your time, Vi. We have a few hours ahead of us before meeting with the council."

The room is huge, bigger than any place Vi has ever lived in, and suddenly, as Caitlyn walks past her to exit the room, her body makes the move of its own accord. Her lips move and even though she regrets it the second it happens, the words come out.

- "You should.. you can stay." She says and she immediately feels the other girl's gaze on her, but she looks away.. anywhere except her. "If you want."

She doesn't wait for an answer and takes the red jacket off her shoulders. The fabric falls to the floor with a slight muffled sound. Caitlyn's eyes are still on her, following every inch of her movements, she feels it – and somewhere she likes it, and somewhere else she hates it. The t-shirt joins the jacket, reveals the tattoos that cover the secrets of a childhood forgotten too quickly and she doesn't know what it is, but something snaps Caitlyn out of her silence.

- "Okay.. I'll stay."

The words echo off the walls of the room and Vi pulls off the last piece of clothing covering her skin. There she is, completely naked, her back to Caitlyn.

It's exciting.
It's terrifying.

Vi gets in the hot water and - shit, it's really good. It's too good to be true. Honestly? Something so good would be worth a betrayal on her part. She would totally agree to live here with all the assholes in town if they gave her a bathtub and unlimited hot water in exchange.

- "So, how is it?" Caitlyn asks and their eyes meet. Vi would like to say it was an accident, but the truth is that even though her heart doesn't want it, her eyes tirelessly seek the other girl's.
- "It smells good." An honest answer - it smells really, really good, Caitlyn smells really, really good - and a pink powder settles on Caitlyn's cheeks.

It's delicate. It's a beautiful picture.
But Vi looks away.
She's not stupid. She can feel it. There is something between them, something that grows with every look, every second, every smile. Something Vi knows and doesn't know at the same time. Something good, but terribly dangerous.

- "Wait."

Caitlyn's voice pulls her out of her thoughts and she dares to look at her again. The other girl rummages in a drawer, takes out a washcloth and approaches the bathtub without a word. A second later, she drops to one knee on the ground and her eyes irrevocably catch Vi's – she's so weak in front of her.

- "Do you trust me?"
- "I'm actually naked in your bathtub, maybe you should have asked this question before, Cupcake."

A smirk appears on her lips and it has the desired effect. Caitlyn gives her an amused smile, even as she rolls her eyes.

- "Do you trust me, Vi?" She asks again and Vi wants to say "more than anyone.. more than myself", but she can't really say that, so she nods and the sweet smile the other girl gives her steals yet another - she's stopped counting - heartbeat.

Caitlyn dips the washcloth in the hot water, just for a minute, before sliding it gently over the pink haired girl's taut shoulders. Vi doesn't even have time to think, a relieved sigh escapes her lips at the touch. She leans a little further forward, her chest against her knees and says nothing – does nothing to stop her – as the washcloth slides down her back, over her tattoos, over her.. scars.

A shiver rolls down her spine and she tightens her grip around her legs, cheek against her aching knees, eyes on her.

The other girl is totally absorbed in what she's doing, her nose wrinkled in concentration. Vi can do nothing but stare tirelessly. She probably can't say it enough, but Caitlyn is beautiful, simple beauty, but breathtaking. She still doesn't understand how their paths could have crossed in a place as sinister as Stillwater. In another life, Caitlyn would never have set foot there if it hadn't been for the job – she's too good for that, she's too good for.. a lot of things. And yet, it is her back that she cleans with patience and tenderness, as if she were cleaning the most beautiful treasure in the universe, as if Vi were the most beautiful treasure in the universe.

And the voice in her head says:
"but you're not a treasure.
you're a jinx."
And Vi hates herself for not being away from that house already.

- "You're shaking, Vi."

;

- "You're shaking, Vi."

Caitlyn stops the movement of her hand behind the other girl's back, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. The tremor of the shoulders is slight, barely perceptible, but her eyes don't leave the pink-haired girl's tattoos, as she slides the wet washcloth over her skin. A true work of art unfolds her eyes, a work of art by which she is totally conquered. But something is wrong.

- "It's okay, cupcake." Vi immediately reassures her, but her eyes say something else – her eyes say "I'm shaking, because no one's ever touched me like this" – and Caitlyn hates it.

Vi has a good heart.
And Caitlyn doesn't deserve the kindness of that "good heart."

Their eyes don't leave each other for a second and shit - Caitlyn wants to cover her skin, her wounds, her soul, with a multitude of words of love. She wants her to see how her own eyes see her as the most beautiful person in the universe. But she can't do that. They've only known each other a few days - a few crazy hours - and what? What is she supposed to say? "Hey, I think I might fall in love with you" ?

A finger gently bumps her chin and she refocuses her attention on the pink-haired girl in the bath. Vi offers her a half-smile and she accepts it, even though she would give anything to see a happy, truly happy smile on the "criminal of zaun's" face.

- "You should come."
- "Where ?"
- "In the bath."
- "Invite me for dinner, first."

Vi's laughter floats briefly in the air and Caitlyn relishes it, a soft smile on her lips – god, what would her mother say if she saw her?

- "Well played, cupcake."
- "Thank you. I have a good professor."
- "But I was serious. You need to relax too."

In any other day, Caitlyn would have totally run away, jumped out of a window, and hid anywhere - preferably somewhere with a warm radiator - but she's exhausted, dirty, and injured. And it's really really hard to say no to Vi, like really really hard. So she nods, gets up to turn her back on the pink-haired girl, and pulls off the clothes that are sticking to her skin with sweat, blood, and grime. It's the first time that she finds herself in such a state in front of a girl.

She sinks into the hot water at the other end of the tub with a sigh of relief – she hurts everywhere, even in places she didn't even know existed. The amused smile on Vi's lips makes her roll her eyes and she pulls her legs up to her chest, accidentally - or maybe not - brushing against the other girl in front of her.

Vi is beautiful.
And Caitlyn wonders what their meeting would have been like in another life. Because they would have met, right? Surely Vi would have sought a fight with Jayce or someone else, and Caitlyn would have hated her at first sight. And then a "cupcake" and a smirk later, and she would have been totally in love.

She's not stupid. She can feel it. There's something unavoidable between them. Vi deserves all the love in the world and as cliché and stupid as that is, Caitlyn is ready to give it to her – god, what's wrong with her? There is a whole world between them. There is still so much Caitlyn doesn't know about her.

Her eyes stop on the pink haired girl's hands.

Vi is naked, totally naked in this bath, but the white bands around her hands are still there - why? Caitlyn wants to know, but something tells her deep down that asking that question would be "too much", so she says nothing and holds out her hands to the other girl's. She doesn't want to rub a knife into a wound, but take some of her pain on her shoulders.

- "Can I ?"

A simple nod.
With the utmost delicacy, Caitlyn grabs Vi's hands in hers and unrolls the bands that protect her – not really, from Caitlyn's point of view, but why not. Their skins inevitably touch and a shiver creeps up her neck – it's silly to shiver for that, they're both naked in the same bathtub. But Vi's hands have always been hidden from her eyes, from the second they met. And suddenly, they're naked before Caitlyn's eyes. It's soft and rough at the same time, she feels calluses on her fingertips and softness in the center of her palm. She wants to cover her hands with a multitude of kisses, but instead she throws the strips on the bathroom floor at the foot of the tub and slides her fingers down the other girl's arms.

The ink is anchored here and there. Caitlyn hasn't seen many people with tattoos in her life, but she's never been more fascinated than by the designs covering Vi's skin. The light reflecting on water. The shadows that cast themselves over them. For a moment, it's as if the cogs were actually set in motion. It's just so.. beautiful - shit, she forgot her vocabulary, her mother would kill her if she found out, she who had paid so many tutors to enrich her only daughter's intelligence.

The tip of her finger glides along the ink. She lets herself be carried away by the black lines, like a small ship at sea that lets himself be carried away by the waves. Until the collision with the iceberg.

Caitlyn's heart painfully skips a beat.

Here.
Just here.
Under the ink.

A scar.
Bitter reminder of reality. The bitter reminder of the moat between Caitlyn and Vi.

- "For spitting in the face of a prison guard."

The other girl's confession burns her lungs. She doesn't say anything, though a million dripping words of anger and guilt want to escape her lips and be heard - what could she say that would lessen the pain of this confession, of this memory forever there on her skin?

Her fingers move away from the scar unjustly there and goes up to the shoulders, goes up to the face where she brushes the scar on Vi's upper lip. It was the first thing that caught her eye the day she met Vi's gaze on the other side of the cell bars.

- "For talking, when they wanted silence."

The finger moves away and crosses the softness of cheeks covered with freckles. She stops at the scar on the brow bone. Vi's mouth twists into a sly smile – and sad, and nostalgic.

- "A good one." She says in her smile. "I was a teenager. A guy thought he could steal our loot."
- "And ? Did he succeed ?" She asks curiously - even though she already knows the answer.
- "He didn't touch a single object in that fucking bag."

Vi glows with pride when she says that. And Caitlyn loves it.
If she concentrates hard enough, she easily imagines a teenage girl with pink hair ready to punch anything that moves, a smirk on her lips, but it gets fuzzy when she tries to imagine the little sister next to her. What did the little girl look like before the murderess? What did Powder look like before Jinx?

She traces the lines of the collarbones, staring at the ink in Vi's neck. She's seen works of art, she's seen heaps and heaps of them. The people of Piltover love to flaunt their wealth under the noses of others - proof in her parents' living room, her mother paid a fortune for an artist to paint a perfect picture of their family to hang over the fireplace. But here, it's different. It's.. Vi. Her finger rests on a scar just below the left collarbone. Vi shrugs and Caitlyn feels the pain in her heart before she even hears the words.

- "I don't remember about that one."

Is this the truth? Or is the story behind that scar so awful that Vi doesn't want to tell her? She doesn't ask and continues her journey, millimeter by millimetre. She finds another one, on Vi's other arm. In fact, there are quite a few. Fine marks on the wrist and when she looks up at Vi, the pink haired girl dodges her gaze.

- "I needed to take back control of my pain."

She doesn't want to imagine the pink-haired teenager, behind the bars of a cold cell, alone and prey to the violent hands of the adults around her. Vi was just a child. And while she was taking the hits, surviving as best she could, Caitlyn was surely laughing with her father, complaining about the food on her plate or the money in her parents' pockets. There's a whole world between them and Caitlyn really wants to climb it to stand by Vi's side. She wants to fix the other girl's bad memories and bring back some good ones. Vi should never have gone through what she went through.

Fingers brush her cheek and she looks up again at Vi, who is looking at her with a small, sad smile on her lips.

- "Why are you crying, Cupcake?"
- "Because you, you don't cry."

Vi doesn't respond to that, maybe because it's the truth – she wonders when the pink haired girl's last tears were, how can she have so much on her shoulders and not collapse? When the fingers are about to leave her cheek, Caitlyn does the first thing that pops into her head, the one thing she's wanted to do for a while. She captures Vi's hand in hers and brings it to her lips.

A kiss on the palm.
A kiss on the fingers.
A kiss on the wrist scars.
A kiss on the arm scar.
A kiss on the brow bone scar.

Somehow, their mouths attract each other - an uncontrollable desire, an insatiable hunger, an unmentionable need. Caitlyn wants this and somewhere deep in Vi's gray eyes she reads that the other girl wants this too. And yet, when she leans in, eyes closed, ready to taste the touch of a kiss, it's not Vi's lips against hers, but the roughness of her fingers. 

Vi slid her thumb between their mouths.

Their eyes meet and Caitlyn gives her a reassuring smile - "it's okay Vi, it's fine. I'll wait as long as it takes" is what her smile means. They have all the time in the world and Caitlyn hopes that one day Vi will be confident enough to share a kiss, and maybe a million more. But for now, she's there, with her, and that's more than enough.

Caitlyn pulls herself up just a little and places a kiss on Vi's forehead.

;

Caitlyn pulls herself up just a little and places a kiss on Vi's forehead.
It's soft, it's warm and it lasts much longer than any kiss on a forehead. Vi can only close her eyes and enjoy it, enjoy this "good heart" that offers her this beautiful thing. Then the lips move and settle on her cheeks, her nose, her chin, her eyelids, all over her face. And on her lips. Although this time it's Caitlyn's thumb that blocks between their mouths. Vi feels the sudden tingle under her eyelids - a tingling that hasn't been familiar to her for too long - and takes a deep breath. She's not going to cry - she doesn't know how to cry anymore. The emotion is palpable in the room, and she's grateful to Caitlyn for not saying anything about it. Who put such an angel on her way?

But all good things must come to an end and Caitlyn comes out of the water - and Vi can't take her eyes off her.

Even though the voice in her head says:
"look away.
before she dies.
like all the others."

- "What do you want to eat ?" Caitlyn asks, wrapping a towel around her wet body.

Vi looks away – finally – and sinks into the water up to her chin.

- "I'm not hungry. I can't eat anything right now. I'm just.."
- "Exhausted?" Caitlyn proposes and Vi nods, eyes lost in the bathwater.

She feels exhaustion in every extremity of her body - "the only stable thing in your life.. exhaustion".

- "Take your time, it's okay." Caitlyn adds in a soft voice. "I'll get the bed ready. You have time to take a nap before the council meeting."

When Vi emerges from the bathroom, dry and dressed, Caitlyn is already in bed. She's sitting against the pillows and Vi frowns – a little amused, not at all surprised – as she notices the countless papers in Caitlyn's hands and the glasses on the tip of her nose. It's a charming sight - an aftertaste of "home".

And the voice says:
"an aftertaste of a reality you will never know."

- "Come."

Caitlyn gently pats the spot next to her in bed, not even taking her eyes off the papers in her hands.

The bed is huge. Mylo, Claggor, Ekko, Powder and her could have had their best nights in this bed, without being cramped at all. She would have liked these four to have the right to a childhood like that, surrounded by flowers and wealth. Nights in a big bed. Exquisite scented baths. Parents who worry about them. Warm meals. Drawers full of clothes. Their story could have ended differently. She really would have loved that.

But it's not her reality, it's Caitlyn's reality.
Vi, she experienced the hard mattress, the too small bed, the cold shower, the lack of food, the worn clothes. She had more lows than highs. And she's proud of where she's from, but it would have been so much easier for Mylo, Claggor and Ekko.. for Powder.. for Vander.. - shit, she missed him so much.

She walks over to the bed and slips under the covers which immediately envelop her in a warm embrace – it's good, it's really good. Caitlyn doesn't pay her attention, the tip of her nose wrinkled, her eyes fixed on the papers and even though the picture is very cute, Vi knows better than anyone that she needs a rest too. They have spent the last few days fighting, running around and climbing walls. So she grabs the folder from the other girl's hands and quickly pulls it away, a smirk on her lips - that smile is her best armor.

- “Give it back, Vi.”
- "No way, sorry."
- "Vi, I'm serious. Come on."
- "Or what? Are you going to handcuff me, Enforcer?"
- "Very funny. Really."

Caitlyn gives her an annoyed look, but honestly the only thing Vi can think of is.. “shit, her glasses make her look really cute”.

- "You need some rest, Caitlyn. I don't know what it is, but it can wait." She said, sliding the folder under the bed, on her side.
- "Have you ever been told that you are really annoying?" Caitlyn asks, frowning.
- "Funny. Hot. Tall. Yeah, but never 'annoying'."
- "You've been lied to, you're not tall."
- "But I'm funny and hot?"

Vi tries to hold back the smirk on her lips as best she can, but it's really, really hard, especially when the other girl barely alternates between annoyance and the blush on her cheeks - it's so easy, so tempting, to make her blush a bit more. Annoyance takes over the blushes and Caitlyn gives her a dark look – she likes that look – before slipping under the covers too, the glasses abandoned on the bedside table.

Eye to eye.
Again.

The burning sensation is still there, but Vi is so exhausted that she doesn't have the strength to run away from the gaze that calls her again and again.

- "You're not scared ?"
- "What are you talking about ?"

Caitlyn looks at her like she's.. she doesn't even have the right word, but she looks at her with such softness in her eyes and Vi doesn't understand.

- "Everybody's scared of me."

And the voice in her head repeats:
"everybody is scared of you."

Scared looks, she saw heaps. Every time when anger took over. Every time she smashed her fist into someone's face, over and over again. Every time she raised her voice a little too much. Every time she returned covered in bruises at The Last Drop. Every time she jumped from the roof of one building to another, despite the frightening distance between the ledges. Everyone has, at one time or another, given her a scared look.

But not her.
Not Caitlyn.
And Vi doesn't understand.

- "You don't scare me."

Caitlyn's voice drips with honesty and Vi feels brave for a split second.

- "But you, you scare me."

The confession suddenly rips from her lips and she takes a deep breath, her eyes still in Caitlyn's. The other girl doesn't say anything, just stirs the bottom of her soul and Vi gladly gives her the keys to the locks. She hopes Caitlyn gets the message behind those few words.

"You scare me, because I feel safe around you."
"You scare me, because you make me want to live."
"You scare me, because I feel like I'm falling for you."

This is the true meaning of her words.

- "Vi.."
- "Violet."
- "What ?"

Vi takes a deep breath, inhales the scent of the blankets, and silently prays that the other girl can't hear the din in her ribcage.

- "My name is Violet."
- "My name is Caitlyn."

Caitlyn gives her a pretty proud smile and Vi laughs – she can't remember the last time she laughed, but it comes out so naturally in this moment. Prison deprives the human of far too many things - “or maybe laughter is too precious for someone like you” the voice tells her. The other girl's fingers gently fall on her cheek and this time, Vi doesn't push her away - she can't, she doesn't want to.

- "Violet." She repeats and the way she says it rips a long shiver out of Vi – it's intimate, more intimate than any kiss or caress – and she wants more, she wants so much more. "My sweet Violet."

Something sharply grips Vi - Violet -'s heart at this moment.
Only one person called her that, only one. Her mother. In the sweet and warm moments of "good night". With the prettiest and most loving smile on her lips. She remembers. She doesn't want to forget. It's a precious memory and a voice in her head - another - tells her that this moment too will become a precious memory. Vi drowns in Caitlyn's eyes and this time she's not sure she has the strength to fight back to the surface for some air.

Vi wakes up in this bed - too big, too warm, too expensive - to the sound of a few knocks on the door. She doesn't know how long she slept, but she almost slept well and she's not sure if it was the quality of the bed that allowed that. Caitlyn's arm is draped over her waist, clinging tightly, like a castaway to a lifeline and for a moment the arm weighs too much and Vi feels like she's suffocating – Caitlyn brings hope and destruction at the same time. If Vi listened to her heart, she'd stay here, locked in the other girl's gentle grip, but Vi isn't the kind of girl to listen to her heart.

And the voice in her head says:
"if you were, they wouldn't all be dead."

She pushes the arm away without a sound and with all the delicacy in the world so as not to wake Sleeping Beauty from her slumber, and approaches the door before more knocks arise in the room.

Caitlyn's dad is here.
With an terribly sweet smile for someone who just woke up the "stray" who was in the same bed as his daughter.

- "Oh lord, my apologies for waking you up Miss Vi."

There's something in this man's eyes that reminds her of Caitlyn.

- "But I thought you might like to know that Cassandra, Caitlyn's mother, just left for the council meeting."
- "Oh uh yeah, thank you.. sir." She murmurs, rubbing her eyes - because of the sleep still there or because of the ray of sunshine which speaks to her, she doesn't know.
- "You can call me Tobias, come on. Thanks for taking care of my daughter. I know she can get into trouble easily when she wants to do the right thing."

He's kind - "too kind for someone like you."

She casts a quick glance at Caitlyn's silhouette. She's still sleeping.

- "Honestly, Mr. Tobias? It's your daughter who takes care of me."
- "I hope to see you again very soon, Miss Vi. We could talk a little more about my daughter's adventures and yours, of course, over a good cup of tea."

Tobias gives her one last smile and walks away – it's crazy how much he looks like Caitlyn when he smiles, his eyes also crinkle when his lips stretch and his teeth show to the world. Vi, she doesn't know where her smile comes from, it's so blurry. She only has scraps of memories, voices, caresses, sensations. Where do the freckles on her cheeks come from? Where does her pink hair come from? Where do her gray eyes come from? Where does she come from?

Vi puts a padlock around her thoughts and returns to Caitlyn.

She's still sleeping - who would have thought that the Enforcer seeking justice was such a heavy sleeper? - and Vi lingers for a moment on the pretty rich girl's facial expression.

And a voice in her head said:
"you two are so different from each other.
she's honey, you're salt.
she's white, you're black.
she's the love, you're the hate.
she's water, you're oil.
she's the sun, you're the moon."

- "You're a queen and i'm just me."

The words float in the room and she laughs.. a bit sad, a bit nostalgic and a bit amused.
She has heard those words from someone else before.

Powder loved to invent tons of stories, beautiful stories. Stories with dragons, queens, knights, peasants, gold coins, love, flowers. And she accompanied these stories with drawings covered in bright and warm colours. She would give anything to be able to read one of these stories again. Just one more time - just.. one more time.

Maybe in another life, Powder and Caitlyn would have been good friends. Caitlyn could have taught her to organize all the things in her head, understand them and bring out the best in them. Powder could have taught her to live without worrying about other people's eyes, to do stupid things, to blow up some stuff.

"but in another life, you would never have met.
because the moat is too wide."

The voice is not wrong. Vi closes her eyes and takes a breath - Vi hasn't been allowed to dream for a long time.

When she opens her eyes, Caitlyn’s sleepy face is the first thing she sees. She traces the shape of her jaw, her nose, her eyebrows, with her fingertips, with all the tenderness a "criminal" can show, but nothing helps. She doesn't know what Caitlyn dreams of, but the other girl doesn't want to come back to reality. And as much as she would really like to let her get lost in those dreams, it's time.

Head tilted forward, her lips mere millimeters from Caitlyn's, Vi whispers, "Wake up, my beautiful angel."

- "What about us?"

The question comes out of nowhere and Vi struggles with herself – who would have thought it would be so hard?

- "Oil and water."

The burning words rise up her throat with an excruciating burn, it's almost as if someone is opening her ribcage and reaching into it to silence the painful beating of her heart, tightening his grip around the organ again and again. It hurts, it fucking hurts.

- "Wasn't meant to be."

She's not looking at Caitlyn. She can't, even if she wants to. She wants to tell her that she takes back everything she said, that it's bullshit, that they'll be fine, that the world can't be any worse than it already is if they're next to each other. She wants to tell her all the things that are on her mind. She wants to tell her about Powder's amazing drawings, Ekko's inventions, Mylo's really lame jokes, Claggor's kindness, the love she felt - feels - for Vander. She wants to talk to her about life down there, she wants to talk to her about that mole she has right between her two breasts, she wants to tell her the story of each of her scars, each of her tattoos. She wants to tell her everything, and above all she wants to tell her that she is falling in love with her.

- "You're just saying that."

She really wants it..

But the voice says:
"do it now,
she'll forget you
do it now,
before she ends up like the others."

- "Do yourself a favor, Cupcake."

She completely turns her back on her, because the truth is there: Vi is a coward, Vi is a fucking coward.

- "Go back to that big, shiny house of yours and just.."

The memory of Caitlyn's sleeping face hits her hard in the gut - "another precious memory."

- "Forget me, okay?"

And she walks away, without another word.
She walks away again and again, in the rain which falls sadly on the city of Piltover.

And when she's sure Caitlyn can't see her anymore, she sneaks into a dark alley and breaks down in tears.

b i t t e r