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Gong Jun meets his friend in an almost deserted café. His friend, is it? They haven’t seen each other in a long time, but it’s mainly due to Gong Jun’s tight schedule. He’s actually glad to see him after all this time.
They give each other a hurried one-arm hug before Gong Jun joins his friend at the table. He looks at the empty tables around and hums contently. He likes the quiet.
He smiles despite being tired after a long day. “How have you been?” he asks, and they fall into an easy enough chat. They drink and talk some more, and Gong Jun starts to fall more and more at ease. It’s good to talk to someone who’s not involved in the industry, good to talk to someone he has a history with.
“JJ, listen,” his friend says eventually, grimacing as if unsure how to bring up whatever it is he wants to speak about. “There’s this thing going on, and I could really use your advice.”
“Hmm?” Gong Jun murmurs, looking up from his drink. Here it comes. He should have known it wasn’t just about two friends catching up. It never was these days. He sighs internally and prepares himself for what is coming.
“So I know our situation is not exactly the same, but I have this rival in the business, right?” his friend begins, looking at him with an expression that Gong Jun doesn’t understand. Or maybe he just refuses to. “I thought you could help me come up with a plan. How to get rid of them? Since you… you know… have an experience in the field.”
Gong Jun freezes in shock. He feels hot and cold at the same time. Like he’s burning inside but freezing all over. “W-what do you mean?” he stammers out. He can’t mean… No. Gong Jun refuses to believe he means…
“I know it’s a sensitive subject, but you did so well, getting rid of him. It was a masterful plan, really.” Gong Jun doesn’t know what to say. He can’t move. There’s no way he doesn’t mean Zhehan. Who else can he possibly mean?
“I know you probably can’t talk about it, but I can just describe my situation, and we could…” His friend goes on, unaware of Gong Jun’s inner turmoil. Gong Jun can’t hear him anyway, there’s a buzzing in his head. His vision is getting blurry. He still can’t believe what he’s hearing, what his friend thinks. He heard the theories before, of course, he did. Even threw up the first time he came across those nasty posts. But he knew this was the antis’ doing; he didn’t think people actually believed it. But now his friend… his own friend believes Gong Jun to be capable of ruining another person’s life. And not just anyone’s. His friend’s, his mentor’s, his Zhang laoshi’s life.
Gong Jun feels sick again. The little he’s eaten is fighting its way out of his body. He takes a deep breath, trying to keep it down, but his breath only gets stuck in his throat. He can’t breathe. He grabs the table with one hand and his chest with the other, trying to get some air into his lungs. The buzzing is getting worse too, but despite everything, Gong Jun attempts to stand. He feels like the whole café is closing in on him, and he needs to get out.
If one of his friends thinks this, then could HE… could Zhehan think the same? The last of air seems to go out with that thought. He staggers and almost falls but catches himself at the last second. He reaches the door and stumbles out, desperately gasping for air.
His friend follows him outside, putting his hand on Gong Jun’s shoulder, but Gong Jun reacts as if he touched him with a hot poker.
“JJ, what’s wrong?” he asks as if he has no clue. He clearly doesn’t. Probably expected Gong Jun the stone-hearted killer.
“Don’t,” Gong Jun warns him as he’s about to attempt another touch. “I need to go.”
“Let me help!” There seems to be genuine care in his voice, but Gong Jun is so beyond caring. He just needs to get away.
“No! Stay away!” And with that Gong Jun does his best to run, run somewhere where people know him, know he’d never be capable of those things.
When he is sure his “friend” is not pursuing him, Gong Jun slows down. He wanders through dark streets, not really realizing where he even is. All he can think of is the day Zhehan stopped answering his messages. He said it was for Gong Jun’s own good, that they couldn’t risk people finding out they were in contact. That he wouldn’t ruin him too. And then, despite his protests, there was silence. No matter how much or how often Gong Jun wrote to him, Zhehan never responded. And right now, at this moment, Gong Jun can’t help but think. What if Zhehan too believes he was behind August? What if that’s the reason he never writes back? What if…? Yesterday Gong Jun would have laughed at the thought, but now? His own friend believes it. What if others do too. What if Zhehan hates him?
Gong Jun needs him to know. He needs to make sure, even if he looks like the biggest idiot. He takes out his phone and starts texting, but his fingers are trembling too much, and he can’t get the message across. He opts for a voice message. He wouldn’t probably do it if he was thinking straight, but right at that second, there is nothing more important than making sure his Han-ge knows.
“Hey Zhang laoshi, it’s me. But you know that, right? Haha, I’m sorry to bother you, just needed you to know,” he pauses, suddenly bursting into giggles. He probably sounds drunk, but he’s not. Not at all. More like going crazy. “Need to tell you it wasn’t me. You know that, right? I would never hurt you. You are… everything,” he mumbles before more giggles come out. “We are forever, right? That’s still on, right? I would never… hurt… you. Would… never…”
He realizes he started crying only when his giggles turn into angry, teary hiccups. He needs to end the call. He has to end it now. It all comes to a halt when something collides with the back of Gong Jun’s head. He cries out, and his phone slips from his hand. He wonders if he managed to send the message before he slips into darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Despite his better judgement, Zhang Zhehan reads all of Gong Jun’s messages. How could he not? They make his days a little better. He is surprised to find a voice message though, as Gong Jun rarely sends those lately. He presses play and almost drops the phone when he hears the distressed voice on the other side. It reminds him of how frantic Gong Jun sounded back in August.
As he listens, he feels the cold creep in. What is he talking about? What caused his distress? Of course, he knew Gong Jun would never hurt him. What? And then he hears the confession… everything, forever and he knows something bad must have happened. Nothing prepares him for the scream before the message ends, though.
Zhehan stands, his hands trembling, and starts frantically pacing around the room. He tries to dial Gong Jun’s number first, but of course, he’s not answering. Zhehan is not deterred, though. He will reach out to anyone if it means getting help for Gong Jun. He picks up the phone again, and as soon as it’s answered, he says, “Junjun’s in trouble, we need to find him. Right now!”
~~~~~~~~~~~
Gong Jun slowly opens his eyes, only to be blinded by daylight. God, his head hurts so much. Where is he? He looks around but finds only an unfamiliar room. The bed is pretty comfortable, though, and there’s a glass of water on the nightstand. As Gong Jun reaches for it, he hears the door open. He turns to look, and the glass slips through his fingers, falling to the ground. He barely registers it happening, though, because right there in front of him stands Zhang Zhehan. His hair is longer than the last time Gong Jun saw him more than five months ago, and it reminds him of their time on the set. Other than that, he looks exactly like Gong Jun remembers – strong, handsome, beautiful. He is afraid to blink, and Zhehan seems equally frozen on the spot.
Finally, he seems to snap out of it, and he rushes to the bed. “Junjun?” he asks in a quivering voice. “How are you feeling? Are you alright?”
All Gong Jun manages is to stare. Stare and hope this is not a dream or some form of hallucination. And if it is, then he will still make damn sure to enjoy it to the fullest.
“Junjun?” Zhehan repeats again, worry creeping into his voice. “What is it?”
And just like that, Gong Jun breaks down sobbing. “Han-ge,” he cries as he grabs Zhehan’s hand in a tight grip. A moment later, they are both sitting on the bed in a tight embrace. Gong Jun’s head throbs, but he doesn’t care. His Han-ge is with him, and that’s all that matters.
Zhehan’s hand ends up on Gong Jun’s neck, squeezing it gently in a comforting manner. “Are you alright?” he asks again, and Gong Jun can hear a note of smile in his voice.
“I am now,” Gong Jun answers, sighing in content as he buries himself in Zhehan’s broad chest.
“Are you sure? Someone attacked you! Luckily, I was able to track your phone, but you got a nasty hit to your head. Found you unconscious. The doctor said it’s gonna be alright though, so don’t you worry, okay?” As he speaks, Zhehan turns to petting Gong Jun’s head, carefully avoiding the injury. And despite the pain, Gong Jun wants him never to stop.
It takes a long while for them to untangle from the position. After some consideration, Gong Jun ends up laying on Zhehan’s chest with Zhehan’s arm secured tightly around his waist. Despite wanting to be as close as possible, his head is supported by an additional pillow to alleviate the pain. Zhehan also insists Gong Jun should take a painkiller, and so he does. A few minutes pass before Gong Jun finally breaks the silence.
“I’m so sorry for the mess I’ve made. I had no right to behave like this. No right. You’ve been through so much and are still strong, and look at me falling apart for… for nothing,” he finishes and wills the tears gathering in his eyes away.
Above him, Zhehan huffs. “You think I’ve been strong this whole time?” he laughs humorlessly and Gong Jun can’t help the pang of guilt. He should have been there when Zhehan needed him. He should have found a way. “No,” Zhehan speaks again as if sensing his thoughts. “None of that. It was all my choice. What I meant to say is that you have every right to fall apart. You are strong, Junjun, but you’ve been through so much too. You did nothing wrong.”
“I shouldn’t have contacted you,” Gong Jun sighs.
“No!” Zhehan’s voice is suddenly loud and slightly on edge. “I’m damn glad you did! How else would I know something happened? How would I find you? It was only thanks to your message.”
“So, you heard all that, huh?” Now that he’s thinking clearly Gong Jun wants to disappear. He hides his head in his hand. “I’m so sorry.”
“No,” Zhehan interrupts him, prying Gong Jun’s hands off of his face. “I am sorry. Keeping away seems to have done more bad than good. To both of us. So I am sorry, Junjun. I was depressed, unsure of myself. I thought I was not good for you, there was nothing else to it, I promise. And just for the record, of course I know you’d never hurt me.” Zhehan’s hand lovingly caresses Gong Jun’s cheek.
“Good,” Gong Jun sends him a sheepish smile. “And now? How do you feel about us now?” he asks, his best puppy eyes trained on Zhehan.
Zhehan sighs loudly, but there is fondness to the sound. “I promised to always be here for you, didn’t I?” he says, smiling gently at Gong Jun. “I just took a little break. It won’t happen again.”
“But you saved me when it mattered. My Hanhan, my hero,” Gong Jun murmurs sleepily.
“You need to get your rest,” Zhehan says, planting a small kiss in Gong Jun’s hair.
“You’ll be here when I wake up?” Gong Jun worries at his lower lip.
“I promise, my Junjun. Gege will be right here.”