Work Text:
August 10th 2024.
Peter would be lying if he said deep down that he wasn't dreading this day. It'd be his first birthday alone. Without May, Without Ned and without MJ. He'd be alone in his little apartment. Alone was always how he was meant to end up, he knew that, but that didn't mean he liked it.
But, being alone was for the best. It was better for everyone. No one would get hurt and he wouldn't have to lose anyone else.
Everything Spider-Man touches comes to ruin.
Peter walked through the streets of Queens. He walked by May's old apartment that now stayed unattended. Empty. It probably wasn't the best way to spend his birthday, but he needed to see it. He needed just one last glimpse into his old life, anything he could just grab and hold onto for a few more minutes was all he wanted.
He continued walking down the sidewalk, glancing at all the people who walked past. Families, friends, couples. All of them seemed so happy. Peter wanted to be happy, that's all he wanted really.
There had been so many points in his life where the idea of happiness seemed impossible, but he always ended up being wrong. He always came back up, could he do it this time too? Could he really come back up from this?
A few people smiled at him while they walked past, he'd smile back. The little acknowledgement giving him the smallest of boosts in his mood.
Finally when he made it home he sighed, tired from interacting with people at work and from all the thoughts racing through his head. He flipped the light switch on that was next to the door. Nothing happened. Peter groaned.
He hadn't been able to pay the electricity bill. He continued forward, locking the door, putting the keys on the counter, and putting his shoes near the door. He turned to face the dark apartment, the only light coming from the window near his desk, the sun was setting so that wouldn't last long. great.
With the remaining light in the room he spotted two boxes on the counter. One from the Cafe that MJ worked at and another from the corner store. He walked over gently picking it up.
A box of candles and a cupcake. He chuckled to himself. He completely forgot that he bought these yesterday. Past Peter still thought it could be a good day without grief consuming him, that he could celebrate and forget everything, even if it was just for a moment.
He stared at the boxes and shrugged. couldn't hurt to try.
He placed them on the other counter and gently opened both boxes. He put in one red candle in the middle of the cupcake. The box still had 23 left. He could use them for light at least.
I always wanted brothers.
he smiled and grabbed the last 2 red candles and placed them on the sides. For Peter 2 and 3.
He opened a drawer and luckily found a pack of matches, carefully he lit one and then lit the three candles. He blew the match out and placed both the pack and burnt stick on the counter.
The light from the candles almost filled the room, it didn't reach the deep, dark corners. It felt like he was in a warm bubble. He sighed, and leaned on the counter. should he sing to himself or would that be weird? May used too.
Peter shrugged and began quietly singing Happy Birthday to himself. It was barely a whisper. He thought back to his birthdays when he still had everyone. May, Ben, Tony, Ned and MJ. The room would be full of laughter and smiles, they'd all song Happy Birthday even if they a sounded bad and out of tune he'd smile. He felt loved, cared for, seen.
Now he was in his dark, empty apartment, the tiniest of flames keeping the dark from swallowing him whole as he sung quietly to himself, alone.
Before he knew it, he felt tears fall down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them away and sighed. He stared at the three candles and thought about the other Peter's.
I wish I could see them again.
He finally blew out the candles, the darkness swallowing him whole.
-
Peter flopped onto the couch, his phone in hand, the cupcake stood abandoned on the counter, it's three candles burnt and melted. He sighed when his head layed against the wall.
He knew what he was about to do was a bad idea, that it would most likely send him into a spiral of grief and misery. He couldn't help it though, it was something he just needed to do.
He quickly unlocked his phone and opened the phone icon and immediately went to where all his voice-mails where. He scrolled down till he found the one labeled: August 10th 2017. He pushed the play button and listened.
Irondad 😎
10:03 A.M
"Hey underoos, I wanted to call to say Happy Birthday. But you didn't answer so I'm amusing you're still asleep, lazy bones," Tony could be heard chuckling, then two bots beeped and whizzed. You could practically hear the eye rolls in Tony's voice. "The bots say Happy Birthday too, anyway I hope you have a good day Pete and I uh I'm proud of you. You're a good- amazing, you're an amazing kid. Loveya Pete, Happy birthday."
the voice-mail ended and Peter held back the tears. He took a deep breath and let it go. This definitely isn't good for him. If he could afford a therapist they'd probably tell him this was a horrible idea, but he needed to hear all of them. He picked the next one.
Happy :)
12:13 A.M
"Hey kid. Just wanted to call and say Happy Birthday. You're one of the most annoying kids I know," there was no heat behind his tone, Peter could hear the playful tone as clear as day. "I'm glad to have uh met you. Have a good birthday Peter."
Peter laughed at that voice-mail, a small smile stayed on his face till he scrolled further up on the list. Ned and then MJ. He was now in the years after the blip. Where everything slowly started to go downhill, but one of these voice-mails where different, this was his first birthday where he and MJ where together. He hesitantly pushed the play button on Ned's first.
Guy in the Chair !
12:03 A.M
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETER! I made this whole plan where MJ and I call you and leave you voice-mails for when you wake up! I dunno I thought it'd be nice. Anyway, I hope you have a good morning! Happy birthday, I love you man! I'll see you later!"
Peter smiled but he could feel the burning sensation in his throat. He wanted to cry, to sob and scream but he didn't want to as the same time. It was conflicting, he just missed everyone, he knew that. He sighed and clicked the next on. This one will hurt for sure.
My MJ <3
12:06 A.M
"Hey loser, Uh Ned had this idea to call you and leave voice-mails for your birthday or whatever so um, Happy birthday Peter, I..I love you, so much you big idiot," Peter could practically hear the smile on her face. "I hope you have a good morning and I'll see you later today, bye I love you."
The smile found its way back onto Peter's face but the burning sensation never left. He could feel the tears in the corner of his eyes, waiting to spill over until he ended up a sobbing mess. Maybe he should stop, he should put the phone away and go to bed. He should-
Aunt May :)
2:04 A.M
No. He couldn't do it. Not this one. Her voice would break him. He clicked it anyway.
Aunt May :)
2:04 A.M
"Hey baby. I won't be there when you wake up, I'm at my morning shift but I'll be back home soon. I left you from breakfast in the fridge, anyway! Happy birthday honey! You've grown so much! You've already 17! Stop growin' up on me! You're growing up to be an amazing young man, your parents and uncle Ben would be so proud of you, I am. I'm so proud of you. I love you so, so much Peter sweetie. I'll see you later, bye."
The tears finally fell. His hands covered his face as he sobbed, the phone falling to his lap. God, he missed her so much. Why her? Why did he lose her? The image of her body flashed in his mind and he sobbed harder. This wasn't fair. None of this was fair.
He sobbed till he had no tears left. He felt even more exhausted then before. He layed down on the couch, having no energy to move to his bed. He stared at the floor till he drifted off.
Peter spent the last hours of his 18th birthday listening to voice-mails of loved ones that no longer were in his life. It was probably a bad decision in the long run, but he missed them. He missed his life before everything went downhill.