Chapter Text
“Report.”
A stern, feminine voice rang out in the halls of the old monastery library. The room that once catered to the many students at Garreg Mach, its history and stories filling the walls around the room, now laid in disarray as its contents were spilled around the floor. The materials and research, once filed meticulously on the shelves, strewn around across the floor as if the answers to a puzzle were located in one of the many tomes and scriptures. The tables were swept clear as maps and diagrams took their place on the surfaces. The library had turned into an impromptu intelligence center, with its Imperial occupants scrambling to find anything they could on the many secrets and mysteries of the old monastery. At the center of it all was a young woman clad in vibrant red, adorned by golden regalia.
Contrary to her regal attire, her eyes were bloodshot, dark bags underneath. And her hair was, well, unkempt to say the least.
“Your Majesty…” The messenger began, only to hesitate.
“Out with it already! Did you find her or not!”
“No ma’am!” the messenger yelped. The forcefulness in the Emperor’s voice made the man straighten his back to a point he had never thought possible. “We’ve extended the search area as you have dictated but we have yet to find any clue to the whereabouts of-”
“Then you're not looking hard enough! Check further down the canyon. Expand the search, increase the number of parties sent out. There has to be SOMETHING!”
“Yes! Your Highness!” The man saluted and bowed to the Emperor before quickly making his leave from the library. The rest of the staff in the library had ceased moving.
“What are you staring at? The more time you waste gawking, the more time that could have been spent finding something useful.”
With a quick snap of her voice, the Imperial researchers scrambled to their stations, compiling as much as they could, grasping at straws to appease their superior. After a moment, a dark, imposing figure came out from behind the Emperor.
“My lady, may I have a word?”
“What is it Hubert, I’m sure you know how busy I am at the moment.” She continued to rifle through different maps, circling possible areas of interest.
“I would prefer if we had this conversation in private.” the dark-haired man stated.
“Now is not the time for this.” the Emperor sighed.
“It is when it concerns your health and wellbeing, my Lady.” His tone was forceful, yet caring. A fact that was not lost to the young woman.
“For the love of Sothis… Fine. Everyone! Clear the room.”
The scholars quickly made their leave, with looks of relief gracing some of their faces as they welcomed the much-needed break. Once the last one had left the room, closing shut the door behind them, Edelgard turned around to look at her old confidant.
“Well? Spit it out.”
“We cannot keep doing this.”
“Doing what? Searching for the Professor? Have you gone mad Hubert? You’ve seen her in battle. She is a demon on the battlefield and a masterful tactician. We need her.” She rubbed her face with exasperation. It had been many sleepless nights and she knew she was close to finding her. She had to be.
“I’ve known you for far too long to believe such weak lies, my Lady. I am already aware of your fondness for the Professor. And as much as she is an excellent warrior and skilled tactician, you would not be going through this much trouble if these matters were not of a… more personal note.”
Hubert continued to stare down at the sleep-deprived woman in front of him. She had clearly not been sleeping well the past few days, if sleeping at all. She glared back at him, mild annoyance in her eyes but the exhaustion more than self-evident.
“I will not judge you for wanting to see her again, to find some sort of closure, but it is getting out of hand now. Ingrid and Marianne are barely given any rest before being sent out again with the rest of the search teams, the Linhardt and the scholars are at their wits ends trying to find anything to appease you, and you yourself seem about a moment away from keeling over in exhaustion.”
Edelgard scoffs at his remarks. She breaks eye contact with him as she turns her head away, crossing her arms defensively.
“I can keep going. She’s out there, Hubert. I know it.”
“...She’s gone, my Lady.” He says in a near whisper. Edelgard snaps her attention back to him.
“What was that?”
“She’s gone! It’s been nearly a month and we haven’t found anything! I thought that letting you mourn in your own way would be good for you but I see now that I was mistaken.”
“Hubert, you’re treading a very fine line right now.” Anger seethed from her voice.
“My job is to keep you safe, even from yourself. You can be mad at me when you wake up.”
“When I what?”
With a quick flick of his wrist, a light flashed and Edelgard’s vision started to blur. She felt Hubert catch her as her body fell limp, his voice ringing distantly in the background.
“I do apologize, my Lady. But it’s… your…good.”
As his voice faded, so did the world around her. Eventually, everything went black.
The sun was shining beautifully as its rays highlighted the sharp features of the professor’s face. Bringing her cup of tea to her lips, Edelgard could not help but stare at the woman across the table from her. Her pale green hair shimmered in the sunlight, her emotionless face encapsulating her reputation of stoic beauty.
“Are you alright Edelgard?”
“Oh, yes. Quite fine, thank you.” Quickly breaking out of her staring, Edelgard picked up her own cup before bringing it to her lips. She savored the flavor of the tea. Her teacher had been quite a novice at the beginning, but now she knew how to perfectly steep the tea. It was not too strong, but still packed the right amount of flavor.
“Has something been on your mind? You seem a bit anxious in recent times.” the professor asked. Truth be told, there was a lot on the young Imperial princess’ mind. Her upcoming coronation, the looming war, the revelation that her classmates will soon discover about her… Yet, in moments like these, where it was just the two of them, sharing a friendly chat and banter, she found solace. Her worries melted away and for a while, her hardened heart softened. She felt at peace, for the first time in a long while.
“My teacher…” She started. She hesitated a bit before continuing on. “I will need to take a break in the coming month. I need to return to Adrestia for some family matters.”
“I see.” The older woman set her cup down before reaching for one of the many sweets prepared on the table. “Well, I doubt you’ll fall behind in your studies. But if you want, I can prepare some extra classwork that you can go over while you are away.”
“I would very much appreciate that.”
Silence found the two again as they sat there. It was a comfortable silence, with birds chirping overhead and the distant voices of the other students from across the courtyard filling the air. It was a comfortable silence for Byleth at least. Edelgard on the other hand was having a difficult time enjoying the sound of life when her heart was pounding in her head. After some time, Edelgard subdued the internal conflict and asked her teacher what she really wanted.
“My teacher…”
“Yes, Edelgard?”
“I know it would be a rather big request. And please feel free to decline. But…”
“But?”
“But would you be willing to accompany me to Adrestia? Back to the Imperial Capital? I would very much appreciate your presence. And with you there, I know I will have the strength to do what I must.”
A brief moment of silence followed. As much as the young princess loved the stoic nature of her professor, it made her equally as difficult to read. Would she deny her? Would she call her silly for asking? She must have been terribly busy. How dumb of her to ask her teacher to drop everything and accompany her instead.
“Edelgard.”
“Yes?”
Byleth reached over and grasped one of Edelgard’s hands in her own. A blush quickly made its way to the face of the young girl.
“I highly doubt you need me there as much as you may believe.” The princess’ heart quickly dropped. She was a fool to think that -
“But, if you were to have me, I would love to accompany you.”
What?
“Really? Professor, are you sure? I have no doubt that you are busy yourself.”
“The Black Eagles know their lessons and are very capable. I’m sure you know that much is true. I don’t see how a week of absence will hinder them. Besides, I’m sure they could all use a break.”
While many would say their dear professor was as emotionless as they came, Edelgard had come to learn how to read her teacher. At this moment, there is an ever so faint hint of a grin forming on the older woman’s face. Which in and of itself spoke volumes of how fond Byleth had become with her students. That dedication and fondness made Edelgard fall for her even more.
“So, when are we departing? Just let me know the day and I can have lesson plans made accordingly.”
Not expecting a ‘yes’ from her professor, Edelgard needed a moment to recollect herself before answering.
“Would the Fifteenth of Pegasus Moon be fine then?”
“Hmm, I do not believe I have any plans then. The fifteenth would be fine.”
“Great!” Edelgard couldn’t help the smile that formed on her face. She had hoped her professor would accompany her but she doubted the woman would have accepted. Her restless heart was put to ease in a matter of moments. It was only then that she noticed Byleth’s hand was still grasping hers. Her heart began to quicken yet again, though this time for a different matter entirely.
“Edelgard.”
“Yes professor?”
“I want you to know that you are far stronger than you think.”
“I appreciate the praise, but I assure you I do rely on you more than you think.”
“Relying on others is not a weakness.”
There's a pause between them as Edelgard stares into her teacher’s eyes. There were no lies hidden behind them.
“In my opinion, knowing when to rely on others is a sign of true strength of character. No one person can handle the weight of the world by his or herself. It would be pure pride and stupidity if they thought they could.”
‘But I do carry the weight of the world on me’ Edelgard wanted to say so badly. She wanted to cry, to hug her professor, to be told that everything would be alright. But she had to maintain herself. She had to be what the world needed her to be: Deceitful. Ruthless. A Bloody Emperor.
“Edelgard, with the time I’ve spent with you, I know you will go on to accomplish great things. You have the strength of will, the devotion to a cause, a kind soul.”
Edelgard was taken aback. She was many things. Been called even more. But a kind soul? That was a first. She could not help but laugh.
“My dear teacher, I appreciate your flattery.”
“Hmph,” Byleth huft. “You may not see it yourself but you are everything I have said and much, much more. I can’t wait to see what future lies ahead of you.”
Edelgard’s mirth quickly subsided. She did know what the future held. She would be crossing blades with the woman across from her in a month’s time. She would be revealed as a co-conspirator with those who killed her teacher’s father. She knew the disappointment and hurt that would soon follow.
And her heart ached.
But it would seem Fate had other plans. In a month’s time, her teacher would give her one more reason to fall madly, deeply in love with her.
Her eyes felt heavy as she slowly opened them. She was staring at a familiar ceiling, the one in her new bed chambers, the former Archbishop’s. Her clothes had also been appropriately changed to suit sleeping. It was early morning based on the sunlight peeking through her windows. Movement to her right caught her eye.
“Good morning Edie.”
Edelgard turned her head to see Dorothea sitting in a chair next to her bed, a breakfast tray and hot tea placed on the nightstand beside her. She moved to sit up.
“Before you get mad at Hubie, I just wanted to let you know we all agreed to it.”
“What?” Edelgard said with minor annoyance.
“Edie, you’re running yourself ragged. You haven’t been sleeping in days, everyone is worried. And by everyone, I mean everyone. From the entirety of the Black Eagles to the knights and squires down in the barracks. They’ve all seen you. How can they expect their leader to take care of them when she won’t even take care of herself?”
“Dorothea, I know you know how important it is that we find her. She’s out there and needs our help!”
“For the love of Sothis, SHE'S GONE EDELGARD!”
Taking the silence from Edelgard as her cue that she was actually listening, Dorothea continued.
“It’s been three weeks, almost a month! And we have not found a single trace of the professor. We’ve searched the entire canyon four times by this point. The Pegasus Knights have covered hundreds of square miles and found nothing. Edie, it’s time to put this all to rest.”
“I cannot believe you, of all people, are abandoning the professor. That everyone else has stopped caring where she is. I will look for her myself if I have to.” Edelgard spat.
“Don’t you dare say that.” Dorothea replied in a hushed tone. “Don’t you dare say we don’t care about her!”
Tears started to flow down the brunette's face.
“Who do you think leads the Pegasus Knights out on every search? Ingrid is wearing herself ragged looking for the professor. Not on your order but because she believes just as much as you do that there has to be something out there. What do you think Linhardt and Lysinthea are doing every day? They search the Monastery’s records with Hanneman day in and day out looking for some clues to what may have happened. Ferdie and Marianne lead the ground patrols, Caspar ventures into the canyon every day looking for something, anything! Even Bernie is out in the fields with Petra and the other scouts looking for a trace of a track. They care just as deeply about the professor as much as you do. So don’t you dare say we don’t care what happened to her! Do not insult us like that.”
The songstress had closed her eyes, face towards the floor and her tears dropped onto her clenched fists resting in her lap. The sight seemed to have knocked some sobriety back into the Emperor.
“Dorothea, I…” she began. “I’m sorry. I was out of line. I appreciate everything everyone has done. It’s just that…”
Edelgard told herself all those years ago in that cold, damp cell that she would no longer cry. That she had cried enough tears for a lifetime. But with her friend so vulnerable, she herself couldn’t help but let the dam burst. Slowly a tear fell down her face. Her cheek twitches. A stream of tears follows.
“I miss her, Dorothea. I miss her so much!” Edelgard cries for the first time in a long time. It wasn’t beautiful. It wasn’t befitting for one of her station. It was one of the ugliest cries she’s ever had, on par with the ones back in the dungeon all those years ago.
Edelgard wails her heart out. She hyperventilates. She coughs. And she cries even more.
She is enveloped in a tight hug by her loyal friend. She continues to cry into her shoulder, grasping the fabric of Dorothea’s dress, mucus and tears dampening the crook of her friend’s neck. It is several minutes before Edelgard is able to catch her breath enough for the hiccups to subside.
“Edie… I think it’s time we put this to rest.”
“I know. I know. It just hurts so much.”
“You’re not alone. Everyone is hurting. But putting a close to all of this will allow for some sort of closure, don’t you think?”
She’s right. Edelgard knows it. But she does not believe her heart is strong enough to accept it yet.
That’s a lie.
Somewhere, deep down, she knows she’s already accepted it. She just wasn’t strong enough to admit it.
“I want you to know that you are far stronger than you think.”
‘Yes my teacher ,’ She thinks to herself. ‘ I hate how right you are.’