Archive of Our Own ^beta

“I’ve been looking forward to this all week,” Rand said, coming out of the kitchen with chips and a bottle of wine while Egwene queued up the new season of their favorite show. Friday nights were officially Rand And Egwene Date Night, and Rand had been surprised this week when she’d proposed a night in—usually she preferred going out and doing an activity, TV and pajamas on the couch were more of a Rand And Mat Date Night thing—but he wasn’t complaining.

“Me too,” Egwene said. “This week’s been hell and I’m exhausted.”

Rand poured her an extra-generous glass of wine. “Moiraine giving you a hard time?” Moiraine was her PhD advisor—Egwene was the only one of them who’d gone on to grad school (and Nynaeve, but she was a few years ahead).

“No, she’s great. The problem is that I have to take a class with Professor Guirale this semester.”

“Oh, I remember Nynaeve complaining about her,” Rand said with a grin as he shook out the blanket he’d knitted Egwene for her last birthday and draped it over them.

“Mm-hmm. I laughed at her at the time, and now I regret it.” Egwene took a swig of wine. “But enough about school. It’s date night!”

Rand smiled and put an arm around her shoulders, and she snuggled into his side and hit play. They were fifteen minutes into the first episode when Rand’s phone lit up on the coffee table, but he ignored it because it was date night. Then it lit up again. And again.

“Who’s blowing you up?” Egwene asked.

Rand reached for the phone to check. “Just Mat,” he said, putting it back down without opening any of the messages. Mat knew that Friday was Rand and Egwene’s date night, and he’d get the hint after a few more minutes of Rand not answering.

He did not. Ten minutes and approximately twelve texts later, Egwene said, “Think you should answer him?”

“Nah, our date night isn’t until tomorrow, so he has to wait his turn,” Rand said, making her laugh. “He’s probably just sending me memes or something. If it was actually important he’d call instead of texting.”

After another fifteen minutes, someone knocked on the door. Rand groaned; they were right at the key moment of the episode. “No, come on,” he complained as Egwene hit pause and got off the couch.

“We should at least see who it is,” she said, heading towards the door.

Rand’s left side was cold now that she’d gotten up, so he wrapped himself in the blanket and pouted. He couldn’t see the door from the couch, but he heard a familiar voice. “Rand here?”

“Oh my God, Mat, I’m sorry I ignored you for a few minutes!” Rand said exasperatedly.

“Aha! You are here, you bastard,” Mat said, inviting himself in and stepping past Egwene to frown at him. “Why are you in pajamas?”

“Why are you dressed up?” Rand said, raising his eyebrows. (Dressed up by Mat's standards, anyway.)

“You were supposed to pick me up for dinner an hour ago, you bastard!”

“What? No, that’s tomorrow. We’re Saturdays, you know that.”

“Yes, except for this week when we moved it to Friday because Eldrin’s piano recital is tomorrow night,” Mat said. “Remember?”

Rand had no memory of this whatsoever, but the dates of his sisters’ events was the one thing Mat never ever forgot or was wrong about, and Rand did get mixed up sometimes with his two partners’ schedules. Which was why they had a shared calendar—he grabbed his phone to pull it up and, sure enough, Rand And Mat Date Night had been moved to right now and Rand And Egwene Date Night to tomorrow.

Rand frowned, confused. Why hadn’t Egwene remembered the change? She was usually the best of all of them at keeping on top of the calendar. “I swear I checked this yesterday,” he muttered, mostly to himself, then looked up at Mat. “I’m sorry, Mat, I totally forgot. What time is the recital tomorrow? I’d love to go with you, and maybe we can do dinner after.”

Mat gave a haughty sniff. “Oh, sure, if you want my sisters crashing, because I already promised I’d take them to dinner afterwards,” he said. Oh no. He was sulking now. Mat sulked way more than Egwene did if he felt that Rand was neglecting him, and Rand just knew he was going to be sulking over this for at least a week. He had to fix this, fast.

He heaved himself off the couch and shuffled over, still in his blanket cocoon. “Sunday, then?” he suggested.

“No, I’m with Perrin Sunday.” Mat crossed his arms. “I’m afraid you’ve missed your chance with me this weekend.”

“I’m really sorry,” Rand said, and indeed guilt was churning in his stomach. How could he have forgotten? “I’ll make it up to you next weekend, I promise.”

Mat opened his mouth for a snarky retort, no doubt, but was interrupted by his phone ringing. He huffed in annoyance and answered it. “Hey, Perrin.” Pause. “What do you mean?” Pause. “Wait, but I thought we moved it to Sunday? I swear we talked about it…”

Bad as he did feel for standing Mat up, Rand couldn’t help a little smugness now. “Huh,” he said. “Looks like I’m not the only bastard here.”

Egwene snickered, and Mat held up a stern finger to silence them. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m on my way—I’m at Rand and Egwene’s because I thought Rand and I were on for tonight, but he didn’t remember, so—”

“Tell Perrin to come here,” Egwene said.

“Sorry, hang on a sec.” Mat covered the phone with his hand and looked at her. “What?”

“Well, there were obviously some scheduling mishaps tonight, and if we all thought we were supposed to have date night with each other, why not just do it?” Egwene said. “All four of us can hang out here, it’ll be fun.”

Rand turned to her, surprised. “Are you sure you don’t mind cutting into our date night?” he asked.

“Not at all, as long as you don’t.”

Rand shook his head. He liked spending time with both his partners together. And Perrin…there were kind of butterflies in his stomach at the thought of Perrin joining their date night, though he wasn’t entirely sure why. “I don’t mind either,” he said.

Egwene looked pleased. “Good. Mat?”

“Fine with me,” he said. He took his hand off the phone. “Hey, so, change of plan…”

A little while later, Egwene and Mat were settled on the couch with the blanket while Rand, now properly dressed, paced around the room straightening things up and checking his reflection in the mirror and scolding Mat for tracking snow in. “Who cares? It’s already melted,” Mat said.

“Yeah, and now there’s water on the floor.”

“Wait a little longer and it’ll evaporate. Oh, honestly.” This in response to Rand vigorously toweling up the floor.

“You seem kind of anxious, Rand,” Egwene observed. Was she hiding a smirk?

“I know.” Mat wasn’t even attempting to hide his smirk. “Look at him getting all dressed up for Perrin when he wouldn’t for us.”

Rand felt his cheeks heating up. “I’m not dressed up, I’m just not in pajamas. And I’m not anxious,” he added stubbornly. “And even if I was, it wouldn’t be because of Perrin, it’s just that—well, this is the first time we’ve done anything like this, all four of us.”

“The four of us have been best friends literally since birth,” Mat reminded him. “We’ve spent more time with each other than I have with my own parents. Thank God.”

“I know that, but we’ve never had a date all four of us together. It’s—it’s different.”

While their friendship was twenty-three years old, the current arrangement was only two and a half, and sometimes it still felt new, sometimes there were still little uncertainties to navigate. Rand wasn’t sure any of it would’ve ever happened at all if not for that weird summer before junior year of college.

First there had been Rand and Mat’s disastrous hiking trip, whose greatest hits included but were not limited to: Mat trying (and failing) to talk Rand into a threesome with a bartender who’d ended up stealing their wallets, them getting lost because their maps had been in those wallets but they’d both assumed the other still had one, them getting extra lost because Rand had assumed all the hiking trails would lead to the same place, Mat falling into a river and almost drowning, Mat catching a fever from walking around soaking wet at high elevation at night, Mat breaking his ankle, Mat breaking his arm, Mat getting bitten by a rabid badger (it had not been a good trip for Mat), and Rand carrying a half-dead Mat the rest of the way down the mountain.

The same week, Egwene and Perrin had been having a marvelous time on a roadtrip with their hippie stoner friends from school (to this day Rand didn’t know how they’d even met in the first place, let alone become friends). Egwene had come back from it with new knowledge about free love and polyamory and had confessed to Rand that she maybe sort of had a small little crush on Perrin and what would Rand think about testing out an open relationship? And seeing as Rand had been so relieved to see Mat wake up alive in the hospital that he’d kissed him right on the mouth, he’d been all for it. Once Egwene had explained in a little more detail how it all worked. And some stuff about leaves he still didn’t understand.

Mat and Perrin had happened during the following school year, thanks to Rand and Egwene’s meddling. It had been plain as day that their boyfriends had feelings for each other—in fact, Rand had initially been stunned that Mat liked him back because for years he’d been sure he had a thing for Perrin—and with a gentle nudge (for Perrin from Egwene) and a hard shove (for Mat from Rand) in the right direction, they’d gotten there.

But they’d been the last ones to pair up. Mat and Egwene had no interest in each other romantically; even the thought of them together made everyone laugh. And Rand and Perrin…well, they wouldn’t work together either. Obviously. Rand knew that. And he was fine with it. Was fine with Perrin being only his best friend and his co-boyfriend of Egwene and Mat. Didn’t wish for anything different. Never had and never would.

After all, Rand couldn’t fall in love with all his friends. That would be insane. He couldn’t just go around collecting partners like they were trading cards. Most people would consider themselves lucky enough to have one perfect partner in their lives, and Rand had two. He didn’t need a third, that would just be greedy. And so what if he sometimes got butterflies in his stomach at the prospect of seeing Perrin? That was just because Perrin was his friend and Rand looked forward to spending time with him.

(Wasn’t that the exact same excuse he’d told himself about Mat for so many years?)

“…don’t see why it’s that different,” Egwene was saying when Rand tuned back into the conversation. “It’s in the calendar as a date night, but in reality it’s just the four of us hanging out like we always do.”

“Yeah, it’s not like either of us is going to fuck you in front of Perrin, unless you want us to, of course,” Mat said, which made Egwene snort and Rand go so red he actually had to excuse himself to splash some cold water on his face.

He was summoned back to the living room by the sound of the apartment buzzer. “What’s he doing that for? Hasn’t he got a key?” Mat said.

“Well, some people like to be polite and not barge into apartment buildings they don’t live in,” Egwene said as she buzzed Perrin in.

“It’s not barging if I have a key, and we basically do live here at this point.”

“Enough, you two,” Rand said, anxiously smoothing out his sweater. “Egwene, can you pour the rest of the chips into the bowl and throw the bag out? Mat, feet off the table, and stop spilling crumbs on the blanket.”

“Christ, it’s like it’s your damn wedding or something,” Mat said as Egwene rolled her eyes but did do as Rand asked with the chips.

There was a knock on the door, and Rand flew over to open it. Perrin was standing there, holding some flowers and looking even more handsome than usual. That wasn’t Rand’s personal opinion, obviously, it was just an objective observation.

“Perrin. Hey,” Rand said a little breathlessly. “Come on in.”

He stood aside to let him enter and shut the door behind him. Perrin slipped his snowy boots off right on the doormat because he wasn’t an animal like Mat, and he moved further into the room in his socks and did not step in any puddles thanks to Rand’s cleaning efforts.

“Hey, you,” Egwene said, smiling and coming over to kiss him. “Sorry about all the confusion, but we’re glad you’re here. What’s all this?”

“Well, I’d already gotten some for Mat, so on my way over I got some for you too,” Perrin said, passing one bouquet of flowers to her and the other to Mat. But there was still a third in his hand. “Um, and then I didn’t want to leave Rand out, so…”

He turned and wordlessly extended the third bouquet to Rand, looking shy and not quite meeting his eyes. Rand’s heart did a somersault, then a second one when his hand brushed Perrin’s as he took the flowers from him.

“Th-Thank you,” he stuttered, just knowing his face was as pink as the tulips. “Is it your and Mat’s anniversary or something?” No, it was January and they’d gotten together in the spring—they’d spent all of spring break that year ignoring Rand and Egwene and making them grumble that they never should’ve played matchmaker.

“No.” Perrin shrugged. “He just likes flowers.”

“You like being sappy, you mean,” Mat scoffed, but the way he was smiling at the flowers begged to differ.

“No one ever gets me flowers just because,” Rand said, burying his face in the tulips and inhaling their scent.

“Oh no, we are not playing the ‘who’s the best partner’ game,” Egwene said as Mat spluttered indignantly. “Perrin, do you want some wine?”

“Sure, thanks.”

She went to get him a glass, and Mat slid his free arm around his waist and gave him a peck on the lips. “I’m sorry I stood you up,” he said. “But Rand stood me up, so we’re even.”

“How is that even?” Rand said.

Perrin just chuckled. “It’s all right, Mat,” he said. “It’s been too long since the four of us have all hung out together anyway. Me and Rand never get to see each other ’cause you two are always hogging us.”

“Maybe you and Rand should have your own date night, then,” Mat said.

Rand blushed. “W-What? Why would we—shut up,” he stammered, hurrying off to find vases for the flowers as Mat snorted with laughter.

It turned out Rand and Egwene only owned one vase, so he put his in there and the other two in cooking pots. “It was the best I could find,” he said defensively when Egwene came into the kitchen for more snacks and judged his flower-arranging skills.

Rand followed her back out to the living room, whereupon he was presented with a seating dilemma. The other three were on the couch, and it would be a tight fit if he joined them. Should he sit in the armchair instead? But he was supposed to be having date night with someone and he wanted to cuddle, dammit. Besides, Mat and Perrin had left an open space between them, they must have wanted him to sit there.

That was kind of a weird place for the space, though. It would’ve made more sense to have Rand or Perrin between Mat and Egwene or Mat or Egwene between Rand and Perrin. Why had Mat and Egwene taken the two ends of the couch and left Rand and Perrin in the middle? Not that Rand minded sitting next to Perrin, far from it, but…it just didn’t seem like the most obvious seating arrangement, that was all.

Rand decided he was overthinking things and approached the free space. “This seat taken?”

“All yours,” Mat said, patting it.

Rand sat down and, yeah, it was a very tight fit for four people on a three-person couch, especially when two of those four people were bigger than average. Rand wriggled around to get comfortable, hyperaware of how closely he was pressed against Perrin. “Mat, stop taking up so much space, I’m squishing Perrin,” he said, trying to shove Mat over.

Mat just shifted to take up even more space out of spite. “Perrin doesn’t mind, do you, Perrin?”

“’Course not.” Perrin glanced sideways at Rand with a small smile that made his stomach flutter and his chivalrous protests die in his throat.

Egwene picked up the remote. “All right, we left off partway through the second episode…”

“Oh, I haven’t seen the first one yet,” Perrin said. “What’d I miss?”

“We can watch it again,” Rand said, reaching across him to swipe the remote from Egwene.

“We literally just watched it,” she objected. “I can’t get that hour of my life back.”

“I really don’t mind, Rand, just give me a recap,” Perrin said.

Rand stubbornly clicked back to the first episode. “No, it was good, you have to see it for yourself.”

“But you just watched it.”

“I’m happy to watch it again for you.” The words came out a little more warmly than Rand had intended, and he felt himself blushing.

Perrin ducked his head. “Oh,” he told his hands. “Well…thank you.”

Out of the corner of his eye Rand saw Egwene leaning behind his and Perrin’s heads to mouth oh my God at Mat with the expression she got upon seeing a particularly cute puppy. Rand didn’t know what that was all about, so he decided to pretend he hadn’t seen it.

Egwene left halfway through the rewatch to pick up pizza. “Mat, come with me to help carry stuff,” she said, shrugging her coat on.

Mat was now sprawled horizontally across Rand and Perrin’s laps and clearly had no intention of getting up. “It’s just a pizza, you don’t need help,” he said.

“It’s two pizzas.”

“They’re flat boxes, Egwene. Stack them. Are you really a PhD candidate?”

“Mat,” Egwene said, giving him a meaningful look and jerking her head in Rand’s general direction.

Whatever message she was sending, Mat seemed to receive it. “Oh, all right, if you’re going to make such a fuss,” he said, gripping Rand’s shoulder to pull himself upright and then hopping down onto the floor.

They left, and the apartment suddenly felt very quiet. “That was…kinda weird,” Perrin said.

“Yeah,” Rand said with a nervous laugh. His heartbeat had sped up and he was so conscious of being alone with Perrin, and he didn’t know why. They’d been friends their whole lives, they’d been alone together plenty of times. Why was Rand nervous around him these days?

It was probably just because they hadn’t been alone together much since the arrangement had started. Because Mat and Egwene were always hogging them, and these days Rand and Perrin didn’t really hang out without one or both of them also there. Or when they did, it was a little bit awkward because they weren’t just friends anymore, they were co-boyfriends, they both slept with the same people and that was weird, wasn’t it, imagining your best friend in bed with your partners? Not that either of them would ever bring it up—they were shyer about it than Mat and Egwene, who had no problem teasing each other (or ganging up to tease Rand or Perrin)—but it was an elephant in the room when they were alone together, something they were both constantly thinking about.

Or at least, Rand was thinking about it. Oh God, why was he sitting here thinking about what Perrin was like in bed? He quickly drained his glass of wine and poured himself another one.

They continued watching in silence—a silence that, despite Rand’s frankly bizarre headspace, was comfortable and companionable. Mat and Egwene were the talkers of the group, and as much as Rand liked listening to them, he also liked this, sitting quietly with Perrin without either of them needing to say anything. Perrin had always been sort of a rock in Rand’s life, something steady to hold onto when he needed it.

Now that there was plenty of space on the couch, they’d moved apart a little for some breathing room, although for Rand’s part, he’d moved only because he’d thought he should, not because he’d actually wanted to. The blanket had ended up at the other end with Egwene and Perrin, and now Rand was shivering a little, but he was too shy to ask Perrin to share.

But then, as if he’d read his mind, Perrin was moving the blanket over and holding half out to Rand. Rand smiled and scooched closer to join him under it. Perrin settled the blanket over him and seemed to hesitate a second, then stretched his arm out behind Rand. Oh God, oh God, oh God, he was going to put his arm around Rand’s shoulders—and, no, he was just resting it across the back of the couch. Dammit.

But…it did sort of seem like he was inviting Rand to snuggle with him? In his own quiet Perrin way. Making the space available and leaving it up to Rand to move into it if he wanted to.

Rand gathered his courage and leaned into Perrin’s side and, when he didn’t object, even dared to rest his head on his shoulder. Perrin didn’t object to that either. On the contrary, after a few minutes his arm moved from the back of the couch down to Rand’s shoulders. Rand bit his lip to hide a smile, those butterflies returning to his stomach with a vengeance.

He was barely paying attention to the episode (which he had just watched, to be fair), too busy trying to slow his heartbeat down and keep his breathing even. Good thing Perrin wasn’t trying to have a conversation with him because Rand did not trust himself to speak right now.

Never in his life had he cuddled with someone who was bigger than him. Was this what Egwene and Mat got to experience all the time? So unfair. Perrin was so warm and solid, and Rand mused dreamily that he would actually be able to be the little spoon with him. Sure, he was the little spoon sometimes with Mat or Egwene, but it just wasn’t the same as having someone actually bigger than him holding him in their arms, keeping him warm and safe…

…Why was he thinking about this?

When Egwene and Mat returned, Rand and Perrin scrambled to put a little distance between themselves as nervously as if they’d just been caught cheating. But they didn’t do it quickly enough, judging by the alarmingly sly smiles on their partners’ faces.

“Let’s eat in here, you two look comfy,” Egwene said, a perfectly innocuous sentence that made Rand go bright red.

He coughed, self-conscious. “We finished the first episode,” he said.

“Oh, good. Start up the second one,” Egwene said, setting the pizza boxes down on the coffee table and heading into the kitchen for some plates.

Mat came to sit on Perrin’s other side and grabbed a slice of pizza without waiting for a plate. “Did anything else happen while we were gone?” he asked.

“Uh…no?” Rand said. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” Mat said, the picture of innocence.

They made short work of the pizzas and finished watching the second episode, and then Egwene brought out the cookies Rand had baked yesterday and Mat found some stronger drinks, and somehow they wound up sitting in a circle on the floor playing spin the bottle.

“This is stupid,” Rand said. “What are we, sixteen? We don’t need an excuse to kiss each other.”

“Spoken like a man who doesn’t want me to kiss his girlfriend,” Mat said, setting the bottle down in the middle. “And how can you slander this sacred game when it’s the reason for our first kiss?”

“That doesn’t count as our first kiss.”

“Does so. Me and Perrin’s too,” Mat said. “You were both straight as rulers until that night. I awakened something in you.”

“Just spin the bottle, Mat,” Perrin said as Rand rolled his eyes, although neither of them could entirely deny it.

It landed on Rand. Mat leaned over and pulled him in for a fierce kiss. And a very long one. “Easy,” Rand said breathlessly when Mat finally relinquished him. “There are other people here.”

“I doubt they mind a little show,” Mat said with a cheeky grin, making Rand blush. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Perrin watching them, though he quickly glanced away when he noticed Rand looking.

Perrin was next and landed on Egwene. Their kiss was a more polite length, but still longer than any they’d shared in front of Rand before, and he found himself transfixed. First he wondered what kind of a kisser Perrin was, then he hoped he might find out during the course of the game, then frantically demanded of himself why he hoped that.

Egwene landed on Mat. “No,” she said, and she spun again and got Rand while Mat protested the slight to his kissing skills.

Finally it was Rand’s turn, and the bottle landed on Perrin. “Oh,” he said, staring down at it.

“It’s just a game,” Egwene said. “You don’t have to.”

“No, I don’t mind,” Rand said. Did he sound too eager? He cleared his throat and tried to look like he barely cared. “Only if Perrin’s cool with it.”

He glanced up and met Perrin’s gaze. Perrin dropped his eyes again, looking flustered, but he said, “Yeah, all right.”

Heart in his throat, Rand walked on his knees across the circle to Perrin. He could feel Mat and Egwene staring at them and wished they wouldn’t, but he couldn’t very well ask them to look away without it being incredibly weird. Instead he did his best to forget they were there as he tentatively reached out to rest his hand on Perrin’s cheek, tilting his face back up towards him.

Their eyes met. Rand swallowed. “You sure?” he whispered.

Perrin gave him a half-smile. “It’s just a kiss,” he said. “No big deal.”

Rand nodded. “No big deal.”

He moved closer, hesitated a moment, and kissed him. Perrin kissed him back right away, and Rand practically melted at how gentle he was, how soft his lips were. He cupped the back of Perrin’s neck with his other hand, tugging him a little closer, and Perrin put one hand on the small of Rand’s back and the other on his waist. Rand leaned into him, loving the feeling of his warm arms around him and his broad chest against him. He’d always considered Perrin an excellent hugger, but this was another thing entirely.

Rand could have gotten lost in kissing Perrin for hours, but eventually they drew apart, both flushed and short of breath. Somehow Rand had ended up fully sitting in his lap, but Perrin didn’t seem to mind, nor did he let go of him. Rand rested his forehead against his and let out a quiet little laugh, and Perrin was smiling too.

“Well,” Rand said.

“Yeah,” Perrin agreed. He leaned back just enough to glance over Rand’s shoulder. “Where’d they go?”

Rand twisted around and saw that Egwene and Mat had vanished, though he was pretty sure he heard some giggles coming from the hallway leading to the bedroom. “Who cares?” he said, and he turned back to Perrin and kissed him again.

“I can’t believe this actually worked,” Mat whispered as he peered around the corner watching Rand and Perrin make out. “Spin the fucking bottle. We should’ve tried that ages ago.”

“I know,” Egwene said. “We didn’t even need to mess around with the calendar like that.”

“But that was the best part. Poor Rand was so confused.”

“When you gaslit him into thinking he’d mixed up the dates and was a bad boyfriend? Yeah, he was.”

Mat snickered. “He really bought that Eldrin had a piano recital in January. Any idiot knows that all kid events happen at the end of the school year.” He returned his attention to the scene in the living room. “So, how long do you think I have to wait before I can ask them for a threesome?”

Egwene whacked him on the arm. “Mat!”

“What? You think I agreed to this matchmaking scheme purely for selfless reasons? Besides, I know you’ve thought about it too.”

“At least let them do it on their own first to get comfortable, and then maybe you can ask.”

“So you have thought about it!”

“Shut up,” Egwene grumbled, and Mat smirked. She tugged him further down the hall. “And give them a little privacy, would you?”

“It’s hot, though,” Mat whined. “I want to watch.”

Egwene shook her head. “Honestly, do you have any shame?”

“Nope,” Mat said proudly, and she laughed.

They were quiet for a minute. “Hey,” Mat said. “You know…we’re now the only two people here who’ve never kissed.”

“No shame,” Egwene said. Mat just looked at her, and she raised her eyebrows. “Oh my God. No.”

“Just to see what it’s like?” Mat wheedled. “What if we have insane chemistry and we’re missing out on it? And you do owe me a kiss from earlier. You landed on me fair and square.”

Egwene sighed. “You’re going to make a thing about this, aren’t you?”

“I am,” Mat confirmed.

Rolling her eyes, Egwene took his face in her hands, yanked him down to her height, and kissed him. Immediately, they jerked apart again and both started gagging. “Holy shit,” Mat said. “Holy shit.”

Egwene looked equally nauseous. “Ugh, I feel like I just kissed my brother! We are never doing that again.”

“I need to wash my mouth off. No, I need to take a whole shower.”

“At least I don’t taste like vodka and pizza grease!”

“Hate to break it to you, but you one hundred percent do.”

No doubt alerted by the commotion, Rand and Perrin turned the corner as Egwene was scrubbing at her mouth with her sleeve and Mat was doing an exaggerated dry heave. “Uh,” Rand said. “You guys okay?”

“We kissed,” Mat said. “It was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Egwene said. “What about you two? Need us to go so you can have some time alone?”

She and Mat wiggled their eyebrows suggestively, and Rand and Perrin blushed. “N-Not right now,” Rand said. “But…maybe the two of us will do something next weekend?”

He looked hopefully at Perrin, who gave him a shy smile. “I’d like that,” he said. “I’m free.”

“No, you’re not,” Mat said. “You’ve got a date with me Friday and Egwene Saturday, and Rand deserves better than a Sunday date.”

“I don’t have anything against Sunday dates,” Rand insisted.

“Perrin goes to bed early because he has to get up at ass o’clock for work. You won’t have time to do anything.”

Rand shrugged. “We can do lunch, then.”

“Lame.”

“This date doesn’t involve you, Mat!”

“Let them do Sunday this time, and then I’ll be able to work out a rotating schedule so they’re not always stuck with Sunday,” Egwene intervened. “I’m not the calendar master for nothing.”

Rand’s eyes narrowed. “You are the calendar master, so how could you have missed all tonight’s schedule conflicts?”

“Oh, would you look at the time? I should go to bed, lots of papers to write tomorrow.”

“Egwene!”