Work Text:
Well, out of all the things Zedaph was expecting to see today, a demon was not one of them.
It was taller than Zedaph by several feet, standing on the springy legs of a mountain goat. Its hooves scraped against the laboratory's concrete floor as it moved to stand directly in front of the ram hybrid. It had the face of a jackal, though the skin on its cheeks was missing and showed that the demon had far too many teeth. It had the wings of a crow and the arms of a grizzly bear with claws made of sharp keratin.
Zedaph was glued to the spot, ears turned down in fright. He clutched his clipboard against his chest a little tighter as the demon bent down and glared at him with sharp feline eyes.
"The fuck do you want? I was busy, I hope you know," the thing growled, smoke billowing out of his exposed mouth.
"Well, uh, mister..."
"Ilkabara."
"Ilkabara, well, I may or may not have accidentally summoned you?" Zedaph squeaked, "I think I used the wrong sigil."
Ilkabara shoved his face closer to Zedaph's, blowing sulfuric smoke onto the ram hybrid's face, "That's your fucking excuse? You "used the wrong sigil"?"
"Yes," Zedaph took a hesitant step back, like one would when backing away from an agitated rattlesnake, "On accident. I meant to use one of the protection sigils that Scar taught me--"
"My sigil looks nothing like any goddamn protection sigil," the creature grabbed Zedaph by his horns, picking up like a sack of grapes, "Not Illager magic, not Vex magic, not Deep Dark magic--fucking nothing even resembles my sigil. I made it unique so fuckers like you wouldn't summon me on fucking accident."
Zedaph shrieked as his body weight was put onto his horns, causing them to pull painfully away from his skull, "I swear I didn't mean to summon you! It was an--"
"I swear to the fucking seven kings of Hell if you say it was an accident I will fucking end you--"
"I didn't! I legitimately didn't mean to!"
Ilkabara hoisted Zedaph higher in the air, and Zedaph yelped in pain. He scrolled through his wrist communicator with his thumb, eventually finding the aptly-named "Emergency Meeting" button. Zedaph pressed it, feeling the vibration as it sent out an SOS to the group chat.
"Well, ram, if you really didn't mean to," Ilkabara's mouth stretched open in a wide grin, "Then I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I took those horns of yours as payment for the "accident"."
Zedaph squeaked, instinctively hiding his face in the collar of his turtleneck sweater, "They're attached to my skull! If you pull them out, you'd be taking my skull along with them!"
"Sounds even better," Ilkabara laughed, smoke pouring out of his mouth, "I could hang your stupid skull on my mantle and drag your soul down to the Ring of Pride. I think that'd be a fitting punishment."
"A punishment for an accident? Now that just seems rude," A new voice interjected.
The room grew cold. The lanterns and torches snuffed themselves out. The sheep on Zedaph's wool wall began to bleat in terror. A horrible instinctual fear settled in Zedaph's stomach, making him want to shut his eyes and die right then and there rather than face whatever it was. Ichor poured out of the cracks in the walls, and geometric shapes of realities unknown painted themselves onto the walls.
A figure stepped into the room, twice as tall as Ilkabara. The top half of their face was hollowed out, revealing an animalistic skull underneath and dull white lights in place of eyes. Their arms were long and clawed, made out of shifting bones and black sinew.
The figure stood on legs made completely of bone, without flesh nor muscle holding them together. There was a skeletal tail that flicked in agitation behind it. It wore netherite armor over top a black t-shirt with a yellow 'I' printed on it and a bright yellow coat.
Impulse.
Ilkabara immediately dropped Zedaph, crouching on one knee with his head bowed, "Marquis Cimejes, I apologize--I didn't know he was one of yours."
Impulse pulled something out from his inventory with a spark of white light. It was a longsword with a blade made out of polished citrine and chains wrapped around its hilt.
Impulse twirled the great sword in his hand, "It shouldn't matter that he's my ward. It was a genuine accident, and you threatened his life over it."
Ilkabara looked nervous now, bowing his head deeper, "Marquis Cimejes, it was only fair, I was working and--"
"And so was I, before you threatened my friend."
Impulse stepped closer, and Zedaph instinctively stepped back. His gut told him to run, hide, get out GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT--
Impulse's dark expression softened, and he knelt down next to Zedaph. He was still taller than the ram hybrid by a wide margin, but he no longer towered over him.
Impulse smiled, showing off yellowed canines and sharpened teeth, "It's still me, Zed, I'm not gonna hurt you."
Zedaph hesitantly untucked himself from his turtleneck's collar, tilting his head at the demon, "You're a demon?"
"Marquis Cimejes, the 66th demon served by twenty legions of demons," Ilkabara said reverently, "He is the father of trivium and rider of the Child of Shadows."
Impulse rolled his eyes, "That's my fancy title, but yes, I'm a demon. Remember when Tango joked about summoning me?"
Zedaph nodded.
Impulse chuckled, "Yeah, he wasn't joking. He and some friends summoned me when they were teenagers to play Mario Kart."
"And you agreed?" Zedaph asked incredulously.
"I mean, yeah. My Xbox was broken and they had the new Mario Kart--I'm not gonna say no to that."
Zedaph burst out laughing, Impulse grinning in front of him. Ilkabara knelt still as a statue, not daring to move.
Impulse glanced over at the kneeling demon, standing to his full height with a glare that made the room grow cold enough that Zedaph could see his breath steaming in front of him.
"Well, Apprentice Ilkabara, what do you think is a fitting punishment for threatening an innocent life?" Impulse seethed, his tail moving to wrap protectively around Zedaph's wrist.
Ilkabara was silent for a moment, "...Banishment, my lord."
Impulse hummed, "I think that's an excellent punishment. Tell you what, Ilkabara: how about you spend a century or two in the Ring of Pride, since that's what you were going to do to Zedaph, anyways."
Ilkabara visibly wilted, "Yes, Marquis Cimejes. I apologize to you and your ward deeply and accept my punishment with grace."
The demon vanished in a twisting mass of smoke, and Impulse sighed. The lights flickered back on, and the room returned to its normal temperature.
Impulse looked back at Zedaph with a sheepish expression, "Sorry about him. The Apprentices this year are pretty snippy."
Zedaph grinned, "You can apologize by showing me all the cool demon stuff you can do."
Impulse laughed, "You want me to teach you algebra and grammar?"
"...Is that what trivium means?"