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Dabi’s not an idiot. Of course he knows.
He knows that Hawks is most likely a double agent. He knows that one day, Hawks will turn him or some other League members in, or at least try to. They’ll fight, and who knows, maybe that's the day he dies. He doesn’t mind. By then, he’ll take down Endeavor, his siblings and mother will finally be free, and he can die in peace. Dabi will make sure of it.
It doesn’t stop him from falling for Hawks, however.
Dabi knows it’s stupid of him. Falling for the enemy, no matter how much he says he’s an ally? Real smart of him, he knows. No matter how many times he tells himself that nothing will ever happen between them, that they’re nothing more than confidants, he still can't help himself.
Hawks was tearing down his walls. And the price Dabi knows he’ll pay is heartbreak.
“Stop spacing out’’. Bringing himself back to reality, Dabi turns away from the lights of the city and faces the man besides him.
‘’Sorry about that. ‘’ He responds to Hawks, composing himself and getting off the railing of the rooftop. Abandoned rooftops, buildings and warehouses are the only chances he gets to see him.
‘How romantic’. Dabi thinks bitterly to himself. He wants to see Hawks outside their meetings, talking about the joke Twice said, or even how less crusty Shigaraki is looking lately, or even just talking about their daily lives. Not here, either sharing small pieces of their past or hanging out in slightly uncomfortable silence. Maybe Dabi was taking things for granted, but he couldn’t help but want more.
Hawks looks at him, concerned. ‘’You seem troubled. Is everything alright?’’
‘Of course not. I’m scared of the future, of my feelings for you. I want to hate you, but I just can’t. I want to know everything about you, not just these small hints, and I want to tell you everything. I want to have your back but it seems you don't have mine-’
“Yeah.’’ He gives Hawks a small smirk. “ You worry too much about me, little bird. I might start getting the wrong idea.’’ Dabi finishes, taking pride in the small blush that begins to form on Hawks’ face. He likes to entertain himself with the idea that they could be a thing. He knows he’s hurting himself in the end, but he’s always been a bit of a sadist anyways.
Hawks’ quickly rolls his eyes, clearly trying to ignore his warm cheeks. “Whatever you say.’’ He stretches his wings, getting ready to leave. “Just… know you can trust me.’’
Dabi raises his eyebrows at the suggestion. He wants to trust Hawks, he really does, but their duties and status make it difficult to do so.
“Whatever. I’ll text you next time I need you.’’ Dabi knows he should have said we instead of I , but he didn’t care. He couldn't even bring himself to say one last snarky remark.
Hawks only gives him a quick glance before he leaves. Dabi follows suit, ignoring the pain in his chest.