Work Text:
His head throbbed, his breathing felt constricted. He knew he was tired, knew he should sleep. He had work first thing tomorrow. He wanted to sleep.
He rolled onto his side, curling his knees up, gripping his hands together over his chest. He felt the Headmaster’s presence behind him. Atsushi tried to breathe quietly, trying to make himself as small as possible. He didn’t notice when his phone started buzzing.
There was no point in dwelling on the harsh words he could still hear, ringing endlessly. No point in the phantom pain all over his body. The hot irons. Cracking whips. Cold water. Hard chains. No point.
He tried to close his eyes, but his face showed up. Tried to drown out the voice with his own thoughts. He tried clenching his fists until they bled, claws unconsciously forming. He wanted to cry, but found the tears wouldn’t form.
He let out a dry sob, grateful Kyouka had gotten a different room.
He couldn’t move.
It hurt.
He wanted this to end.
He shifted his, now wet with blood, hands up to his throat. If he used his ability, just a quick squeeze and it would end.
It would all end.
Dazai had been having a bad feeling all the previous day. Atsushi had seemed almost.. out of it? He did his work silently. Answer softly when asked a question directly, giving a small smile.
There were times when he tensed, his whole form freezing. He’d snap out of it moments later, clearing his face of any panic he might have been showing. Sometimes, he’d glance behind himself while getting something from the printer, or drinking water, like he was afraid he was being watched.
His worries only increased when the younger man hadn’t answered when he called his phone later, the white haired man would answer his phone even if it was the middle of the night(which it was). Deciding to check on him, he quietly left his dorm, going to the second floor.
He knocked, there was no answer. He knocked again, no answer.
“Atsushi?”
He opened the door slowly, not bothering to shut it after. He walked farther in, and nearly choked.
Atsushi, his Atsushi was laying there, tiger-like hands gripping his neck. His face was purple, his eyes closed.
He froze for a split second, before rushing forward and deactivating the ability. He checked for a pulse.
He felt his world shatter.
No.
This couldn’t- this couldn’t be happening. Not again. He pulled his lover’s body close.
He didn’t hear himself scream, didn’t hear when the others rushed in. Didn’t hear their soft cries, didn’t pay any mind to Kunikida when crouched beside them.
He didn’t understand why Atsushi hadn’t come to him, why he didn’t say anything.
Why.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
It had never hurt this bad before.