Chapter Text
Chapter 1 - Lavender’s Blue
“You shall be ordinary!”
Brienne’s magical fairy godmother, Olenna Tyrell, had waltzed into her christening, much to the chagrin of King Selwyn of Tarth, and made that curious pronouncement.
Under the overpowering smell of roses which followed the cross woman, sweet, cherub-faced Princess Brienne, immediately let out a squall which surprised all those around her.
Princesses do not shriek and cry. They have a serene countenance, with long blonde locks, and rosy cheeks. Brienne, as she grew, only managed limp, straw-like hair, and an overabundance of freckles.
“My word, child!” Alysanne, her mother, fretted. “Did you not use the lemon juice I put at your bedside? Do NOT chew your lip so!”
The large girl made an effort to look presentable in front of her mother. It was, alas, after another failed engagement this time with the elderly Lord Wagstaff. The man had taken one look at the twice broken nosed girl, and left without a word.
King Selwyn was housed with his councilors, deliberating on what to do with the future of his daughter.
“She must marry!” The lords proclaimed.
“All those who have seen her have refused,” Selwyn muttered, looking quite unkingly at the moment with his balding head in his hands.
“Then we’ll have someone wed her, sight unseen. Schedule a tournament, and whoever wins may have her hand and the kingdom.”
The king sighed. “She’ll probably join instead as a disguised knight and win.”
The ordinary princess had no intention of doing so.
She merely packed a small bag of clothes, provisions, and money and escaped out the window.
—-
The kingdom of Lannisport was but a brief hike through the forest. Brienne had merely entered through the servant’s gate, asking if they needed any work for a strong girl, in exchange for food and lodging.
The cook’s eyes lit up at her muscular arms.
“There’s wood that needs splitting, and pots to scrub.”
The girl nodded and quickly got to work.
This was what she needed. Not to be stuffed into a corset and unflattering dress, or to play with a golden ball all day under the shade of an umbrella.
Her father had indulged her with a master-at-arms, and a sword, much to the chagrin of her Queen Mama.
“What if she hurts herself, darling?”
“It makes her happy, my love.”
Brienne regretted leaving her family so suddenly. They truly were a loving family, but tricking a husband to her was a foolish idea.
The Lannister kingdom was in an uproar as a distant cousin, Princess Cersei, and her retinue paid the Lannister King a visit in the hopes of a royal marriage.
Brienne had spied the waiflike, blonde beauty as she entered the castle under the cover of an awning. The regal princess’ green eyes merely looked bored under the red and gold banners of the castle.
The feast ran long and loudly, but soon the servants were called in to clean.
Brienne entered the Great Hall intent on clearing away the delicate china and heavy chairs.
“Wow, you are a tall wench.”
She looked up to an unusual sight.
A man, handsomer than any she had ever seen, sat in a chair tipped back to nearly an impossible angle, feet atop the table. He was eating ice cream straight out of its container with a spoon.
“Fancy a bite? It tastes better this way,” he commented. He held out his spoon to her.
Brienne wrinkled her nose, “I’ll get a clean spoon instead, thank you.”
She took a generous scoop of the strawberry ice cream.
Damn him, it really did taste better this way.
“My name’s Jaime. What’s yours, wench?”
She scowled at him. “I’m Brienne, and unlike some people I have work to do.”
To her surprise Jaime began to help her move the chairs.
“I’m a man of all work, I’ll have you know.”
“My apologies, my lord,” she sneered giving him a curtsey despite her breeches.
He gave her a strange look, “That looked and sounded almost like the real thing.”
Brienne froze, but covered up her faux-pas with a roll of her eyes.
“You must be seeing things. I’m only a kitchen maid.”
With his help, she soon had her tasks finished before too long.
“Goodnight wench.”
“Goodnight idiot.”