Chapter Text
It’s the day after New Year’s Eve. Asmodeus messaged Ianaro on their DDD, complaining about his loss of sleep thanks to the New Year’s Eve party. The corgi offered to come help him get his shit together, & he happily accepted.
Ia knocks on the door to Asmodeus’ room. “Hello?” they call.
“Come in!” the demon replies.
The corgi enters.
The Avatar of Lust has a beautiful room. The walls are dotted with large, rose-shaped lamps. There’s a pink-ish & purple globe chair in one corner of the room, with two similarly colored pillows upon the chair & real roses growing above it. Of course, there’s his ornate table & mirror for putting on makeup & getting ready for the day. And his bed is wonderfully pink, with even more roses of the same color growing around it.
Asmo is lying on the bed in question, on his side, his hand propping up his head in a seductive pose.
Ia’s eyes widen. “Asmodeus…what are you doing? I thought you weren’t feeling well.”
He laughs gently. “Oh, I wasn’t,” he says, “but seeing your message changed that very quickly.”
“What do you mean?”
He stands up from the bed, & walks towards them. “I mean that I feel fine,” the demon continues, “because after I saw your message & realized you were coming by, I didn’t want to just lie around. I wanted to act.”
He stops in front of Ia. “I could have just let you take care of me, & said nothing. Or I could take care of you. To me, the choice is obvious.”
The Avatar of Lust reaches forward, & strokes Ianaro’s cheek. “Do you remember what I said last night?” he asks.
They swallow, transfixed, unable to move. “You said…you…love me,” they reply. But then, Ia speaks, their voice a whisper. “You know how much the word ‘love’ means to me. You can’t just say things like that, Asmodeus—“
“I know what it means to you,” the demon replies. “That’s why I said it.”
They look at him, shocked, unable to process any of this. Then, they look away. “But you were drunk. And you said those words several times while you were drunk. So you didn’t mean it—“
“I did,” he interrupts, his voice clear, his words a declaration.
I did.
The two stare into each other’s eyes for a few moments.
Then, Asmodeus reaches with his other hand, placing it on Ianaro’s other cheek. With that, he gently pulls their head closer to his own, into his waiting lips.
Their kiss is filled with a tenderness that Ia didn’t expect. There’s a clear gentle affection as they two go deeper into each other, & a feeling of contented bliss covers them both. Is this who they were meant to be, together?
Then, the Avatar of Lust pulls his head back, smiling. “How was that?” he asks, his voice soft. “Do you believe me now?”
“I…” The corgi swallows, clearly trying to find the right words.
Then, they speak.
“You can’t do this.”
He blinks.
“Do what?”
After a moment—
“Say you l…love me!” they burst out.
The demon blinks again in surprise, both confused & hurt. “Why not?” he asks.
“Because…” Ianaro shakes their head. “No,” they say, “no. I can’t accept this. I need to go.”
With that, they turn on their heel, & run out of the room.
“Ia!” Asmo calls out, his voice desperate, begging them to stay.
But they ignore him, & leave the room, slamming the door behind them.
_________
Ianaro reaches their dorm room, tears beginning to flood their eyes. They’re breaking down, but they don’t care.
They close the dorm room door, & collapse on the bed. After a moment, the corgi curls up in a very dog-like sleeping position, something they used to do as a child & that they occasionally still do when worried or upset.
They close their eyes.
I did.
“No, no, no…” they say as the tears finally fall in full force. “I can’t do this…why…?”
Just then, there’s a knock at Ia’s door.
“Who is it?” they call, sniffling between tears.
“It’s me!”
Ianaro recognizes that voice immediately—Marisol.
“Um, I’m not doing so great,” they say. “Can you come back later?”
A hesitation. Then, “Do you want to talk about it?”
They think. “…Maybe,” they confess.
“Ok; I’m coming in.”
After a moment, Ia, eyes still shut, hears the door open, then close. Footsteps. Then, they feel someone sit on the bed next to them. After a moment, a hand strokes their dog-like ears. The corgi leans into the comforting pats.
“Are you ok?” Marisol asks.
“No.”
“What happened?”
They take a deep breath. “Asmo called me over because he woke up late since he was drunk from the New Year’s Eve party. He said he hadn’t slept well. So I offered to help him.”
“And then?”
“I came to his room. And…” Ianaro swallows. “Remember how I said he told me loved me while he was drunk that night?”
“Yeah…”
“Well…he told me again. While sober. That he loved me. That he knows how much the word ‘love’ means to me, & that he meant it.” They sniffle.
“Wow,” Sol replies, taking it all in. “That’s…that’s a lot! But why are you crying?”
“Because I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Be loved like this!” they burst out, their eyes shooting open & meeting Marisol’s gaze. “I can’t…do love, ok? I’ve had flings, yeah, but obviously that doesn’t involve love in any way. I’ve had casual sex, & now I’m a no-strings-attached dominatrix in the Devildom, & I’ve never wanted anything more than that. But love? Figuring out how to love someone? I…can’t!
“I lived my life being hurt by the people who said they loved me, & it took me decades to realize they never loved me in the first place. And now someone says they love me & I’m supposed to figure out how to just accept that?! What the hell?!” Ia shakes their head. “I can’t. I can’t…do that.”
They close their eyes again, still feeling Marisol’s hand on their ears. After a moment, her fingers start stroking up & down the corgi’s furry ears. “Is being with Asmodeus…romantically, I mean…something you want?”
Ianaro thinks for a moment. “I…” They swallow. “I’ve known from the start that my relationship with him was…special. He’s not just a client—that much is obvious from how we’ve talked to each other, & messaged each other, &…been with each other.” They start to tremble. “But if he really does love me, just…why?” Fresh tears begin to fall. “Why? I just don’t understand!”
Sol nods in understanding. “It sounds like you want a relationship with him,” she says, “but you’re scared.”
They laugh. “Yeah, I think that sums it up. I’m scared of…” Ia takes a deep breath. “I’m scared of thinking that someone could love me that much. Why have feelings that great for someone like me? It’s too big—loving me like that is so much, too much! I can’t accept that at all!”
Marisol strokes their ears, comforting her friend for a few moments.
Then, they speak.
“Ianaro,” they say, “I hate what you’re saying about yourself right now.”
The corgi sniffles. “What?”
“’Someone like me’? ‘Loving you like that is too much’? You’re acting like someone actually caring about you just doesn’t happen—never mind someone loving you. And I hate that. I hate that you think no one would care about you like that. Because a lot of individuals care about you—including me, & Satan, Asmo, & so many more. And Asmo more than cares about you—he loves you.” She pats the corgi’s ears. “Loving you isn’t some insurmountable thing that no one would ever want to do because putting in the effort for you is ‘too much’. That’s nowhere near true. People do want to put in the time to care about you, & especially love you. And now, Asmo wants to love you even more deeply. But only if you want to, & only if you’ll let him.” Sol gives Ia one more head pat. “It’s up to you.”
For a moment, the two friends sit there in silence.
Then, Ianaro opens their eyes. “I think…I know what I need to do,” they say. They smile up at Marisol. “Thanks. I need some privacy for now, but…I appreciate it, & I’ll call you later.”
“Ok,” the human replies. She beams. “I’ll see you later. Let me know how you’re feeling, ok?”
With that, she leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
Once she’s gone, Ianaro takes out their DDD, calling Asmodeus.
He picks up after one ring. “Yes?” he asks, his voice soft, hesitant.
“Hey,” Ia replies. “Can I…come by your room again? I’m sorry about earlier. I…it’s complicated. But I have a proper answer for you now.”
He hesitates. Then, “Alright,” the demon responds. “Please, come over.”
“Great,” the corgi replies. “I’ll see you in like 10 minutes.”
With that, they hang up the DDD, putting it away.
Ianaro takes a deep breath.
Then, they stand up, & prepare to confront the Avatar of Lust.