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Lance was minding his own business just reading an erotica when he suddenly smelled something rank. “What the HELL is that atrocious smell?!” He shouted to himself. He got up and walked outside, sniffing the air.
Pidge came walking out of his room. “What IS that?! It smells like burnt ass!” Lance turned to him. “Did you do this?”
“It wasn’t me!” He cried, plugging his nose and shaking his head.
Hunk then walked out and sniffed the air. “I know that smell!” He cried. “It’s barbecue ribs!” His mouth started to water.
On the other hand, Lance’s nose crinkled. “Ugh, but why is it so smokey smelling?!” He then squinted “Aw, dammit is Keith in the kitchen again?”
“I’m not in the kitchen.” Keith said. Lance turned around and sighed when he saw his best friend join them.
“Maybe it’s a fire.” Pidge mused. He sniffed the air like a dog. Lance squinted. “Did…you start a fire, Pidge?! What have I told you about starting a fire in the kitchen! We eat there!”
Pidge frowned, “Nothing. You’ve literally said nothing. Besides, I’ve been in my room the whole time!” Pidge sniffed some more, including sniffing the vents. “That’s definitely a fire, right?” he muttered.
“Then who is charring barbecue ribs?!” Lance complained.
“Coran? I don’t know.” Hunk shrugged.
“Hmm…”
Hunk shook his head, “Well why are we just standing around?! Let’s go find the source!” The gang all follows Hunk into the kitchen. What they see next was-
“Lotor?!” Lance cried.
Standing with his back to them was the Crowned Prince himself flipping over a rack of ribs that were MORE than charred. Some pieces were even on fire.
“Hey bitches.” He greeted casually. The pilots were dumbfounded.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” Keith asked, mostly confused.
“I’m having a steak-out!” He replied. He flipped over some cornbread.
Lance made a face. “Har har dipshit, having a steak out as you stakeout wow how original.” He said flatly.
Lotor smiled slightly, but not in an amused way. You're just jealous of my fine and exquisite George Foreman grill! It’s okay to be honest, McClain.”
Lance rolled his eyes. “First off, that’s our George Foreman grill, and second? Jealous of you, I am not Lotion.”
Hunk made a face “Ooooooooh got em!” he cried pushing on Lance’s shoulder. Lance beamed with confidence.
Lotor suddenly turned around, his face grew angry. The four put their hands on their holsters. Why someone would even give them weapons was beyond my comprehension, really.
“You SERIOUSLY had to pull the Lotion card, huh? I was gonna leave you alone as I polluted your air, but you really had to make it personal today. Haggar, take em' to FLAVORTOWN.” He cried. He chuckled slightly.
The gang thought they heard some high pitched screech like laughter, but they were too busy feeling the ground rumble. All of a sudden, a large and red mechanical monster with flame decals rose from underneath the ground.
“WHAT THE F—” Pidge started but was interrupted by the robeasts roar.
“Ciao, bitches. I'll see myself out instead to do you all a favor for once.” Lotor left the premises with a wink and a laugh.
Hunk then thought of an idea. “I GOT THIS!” he cried. He ran to the cabinet and grabbed a fire extinguisher. He pulls out a fire extinguisher and sprays it on literally everything in the kitchen except for his teammates. The robeast then fell on its face, frozen in place. The pilots just stared at the mess Hunk had made.
“Got it.” He said, satisfied.
Lotor then popped his head back in. “Oh I forgot to uhhh…” He clicks a remote, which shot a ray of menacing light towards Flavortown, increasing the robeat to a gigantic size, destroying the ceiling of the castle kitchen. The robeast was still frozen in place, however.
“BYE!” he said finally. He left in a happy mood.
The four just stared at the ceiling until Keith spoke up. “I’m not cleaning up your mess, Hunk.” He said.
“I didn’t even do the ceiling thing!” He protested.
Suddenly, Pidge came running in with weapons and grenades. “LIONS!” He cried. He was clearly on something. “THIS IS AN AVENGERS LEVEL THREAT!”
Everyone just looked at him. He looked at everyone. “WHY IS NO ONE RUNNING FOR THE LIONS YET??” he cried.
“Anyways I’m gonna go back to my book now.” Lance said, exiting.
“Me too. Uh…Hunk, Pidge. Clean up or whatever.” Keith ordered.
Hunk frowned. “What?! Why me?!” he cried.
“I would try to blackmail Nanny but she’s not here.” Keith replied. “Hopefully, she’ll never come back either.”
Pidge put down all of his weapons on the counter. “What?! But I have to go play Wizards 101 with Bandor in 30 mintues!” he cried.
“Look, Lance is busy, Allura’s at a nightclub, and I just don’t want to.” Keith said. “Besides, Hunk’s not going to do this by himself, you know.”
Pidge pouted but started cleaning up char and fragments of the ceiling anyway. He looked over at the robeast on the floor. “Do you think we can lure that thing into the lava like with did with Sven?” he asked.
“I don’t think that robeast is going anywhere anytime soon, little buddy.” Hunk replied. “Looks like the solution to stopping it was a fire extinguisher.”
Pidge frowned. “Can’t we make sure it never gets up though?” He poked the metal thing with the broom.
Hunk thought for a moment. “Tell you what. How about we dismantle that thing and make it into our new kitchen ceiling.”
“NOW you’re TALKING!” Pidge said excitedly.
~
Allura walked in from a long night of partying to get her daily bottle of vodka. She stopped and stared up at the ceiling. “…Why does our ceiling have a flame job?” She asked no one in particular.
“Because its fucking cool.”
Allura jumped and saw Hunk and Pidge standing behind her with sunglasses on. Pidge reached into his pocket and pulled out a sound effect machine. “YEEEEEAAAAAAAAA!” the sound box said.
“Ooookay.” Said Allura. She grabbed her vodka and slipped out.