Chapter Text
Beomgyu felt that something has been off since the early morning that day.
He couldn’t say that it was something in particular – the routine was the same, their practice room was clean and bright, as it always is. He and Yeonjun were bickering on the way back home, and somewhere behind, the screeching sounds of Kai’s laughter were filling the air, accompanied by the interruptions of Soobin’s low voice and Taehyun’s snickers. In all honesty, it seemed fine.
Keyword: seemed. And Beomgyu couldn’t quite explain why, that making a tangled mess out of his thoughts and mind.
“You’re lagging out more than usual today, you know.”
The voice snaps Beomgyu out all at once as he blinks. Yeonjun’s face is immediately in his view, cheekily tiltled to the side with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “Why to get your attention I always have to insult you, for fuck’s sake.”
“Maybe, if you weren’t that stuck-up.” Beomgyu clicks his tongue, mouth reacting even quicker than his brains in an attempt to get back at Yeonjun. Bickering was their usual pattern and, at this point, Beomgyu was quite sure that all of his being reacts to that strictly on instincts. There was something familiar to it, something that carefully tip-toed around the word ‘home’ curled at the tip of his tongue.
Such a sap. Beomgyu shakes his head as if it would help to get the thought out of his brain.
“Your jabs are unusually boring today too,” Yeonjun notes, bumping into Beomgyu’s shoulder slightly as they walk side by side. “What’s wrong?”
The skies are already dark and smooth above them, the city swallowed by the nighttime and dull quietness, Yeonjun’s face being illuminated only with the streetlights scattered around. Only now Beomgyu noticed how they got quite far ahead, leaving the others and their conversations somewhere behind. “Nothing is wrong,” Beomgyu shrugs because what the hell he is supposed to say? Not like it could be condoned to a rational explanation and Yeonjun is that type of person who relies on rationality and facts too much.
“Lying to the older people is impolite, Choi Beomgyu.”
“So, you do admit that you’re old?” Beomgyu asks just for the sake of it, pleasantly catching Yeonjun’s annoyed eye-roll.
“Forget that I asked.”
“Whiny,” Beomgyu whispers and leans in, watching as Yeonjun springs back at the touch quickly. Both of them let out a chuckle, a lighthearted feeling settling in Beomgyu’s chest now. Yeonjun has always had that effect on him.
Choi Yeonjun was his calmness.
That’s why the next words slip out of Beomgyu’s mouth on their own. “It’s just a – I don’t know – a feeling?” He tries to explain, now fumbling with his fingers, eyes looking down to the frozen ground.
“Feeling?” Yeonjun asks, traces of laughter still in his voice. “What do you mean?”
“Like, a gut feeling, you now?” Beomgyu ignores that teasing tone of Yeonjun’s voice, the latter probably thinking that he is being overdramatic again. “Now you’re laughing at me,” Beomgyu mumbles, watching as the corners of Yeonjun’s mouth twitch.
“I am not,” Yeonjun says, but instantly breaks into a smile. “Do you believe in omens now?” Yeonjun is still teasing, eyes crinkled and voice high-pitched from the laughter.
“Hey, I’m serious,” Beomgyu says sternly, looking up to meet Yeonjun’s gaze. “You know, like something at the back of your mind that can’t leave you alone and makes you restless and—”
Beomgyu’s breath hitches as the smile falls from Yeonjun’s face and all the teasing undertones vanish from his eyes. “Hey, I just think you are tired. And stressed,” Yeonjun says calmly, gently patting Beomgyu’s back. Yeonjun’s hands are covered with gloves, and Beomgyu is dressed in a thick black parka, but it seems for the moment that the touch burns through his skin. “Get rest when we come home, yeah? You can crash in my room if they bother you.”
“I’m not dying, hyung,” Beomgyu rolls his eyes but feels a heat rising up to his cheeks. He has always been weak for care – Yeonjun’s care, precisely – no matter how shameful it was to acknowledge that. “Your crush on me is showing,” he clicks his tongue dramatically, looking at Yeonjun right under his lashes.
“Oh, sod off, Beomgyu.” The warmth is suddenly gone as Yeonjun sprints back from him, putting a distance between them.
“You want to kiss me so bad,” Beomgyu still goes on, seeing how Yeonjun’s cheeks are puffing up and his gaze is getting hooded with a tiny pout forming on his lips.
“Do not project your own wishes on the others,” the older gets back at him quickly, eyes rolled up but smile soft.
In all sincerity, Beomgyu would say that Yeonjun has always felt as mature as everyone paints him to be – not even in sense of the age, as much as they all loved to tease him, but in the sense that it always seemed like the boy carried the weight of the whole world on his shoulders, always being the one to deal with all of their burdens. And, weirdly, that’s why Beomgyu felt pleasured when getting under his skin.
Because at least at those short splutters of moments Choi Yeonjun allowed himself to be a careless kid.
As they approach the dorms, Beomgyu wickedly smiles, aiming at hopping on Yeonjun’s back as he stumbles into him while trailing behind, throwing arms over Yeonjun’s shoulders. Yeonjun yelps and they laugh, and Beomgyu’s body tingles with a warm nuzzled feeling that he persistently been trying to push back for years.
Probably doesn’t succeed but that’s a story for another day.
“What is that?” Beomgyu and Yeonjun snap their heads, looking at how Kai marches past through them and crouches in front of the porch. Beomgyu arches a questioning eyebrow at Yeonjun but he just shrugs, silently offering to come closer as well.
Two minutes later, Taehyun and Soobin join them, hovering over Kai’s figure. The boy’s gaze is certainly concentrated on the tiny piece lying on the porch – Beomgyu’s eyesight tells him it’s a rock but he doesn’t really trust its judgment, especially in winter.
Kai tiltles his head to the side curiously, hand now hovering over the weird object.
“Kai, no,” Soobin groans, trying to get closer. Under any other circumstances, Beomgyu would jab him for acting like a nestling mother, but something odd pangs in his chest, akin to the feeling that was bugging him for the whole day.
Something is wrong.
“Looks like a stone?” Taehyun offers, also crouching down.
Curiosity takes over and Beomgyu lets Yeonjun go to lean in a bit to have a better view. The piece is definitely firm and solid, blistering with something greenish but also covered with a thin layer of dust and mud. “I think it is,” Beomgyu mumbles, unconsciously stretching out his arm to touch the thing.
“Oh, not you, too,” Soobin whines, voice still desperate and tired. “Yeonjun, tell him!” Soobin turns around to face them, expression equally exhausted.
“Kai, drop a stone,” Yeonjun echoes monotonously, obviously indifferent and disinterested in everything that is happening. Beomgyu notes how he is already on the edge from his teasings and is way too tired to engage directly in another conflict resolution.
Beomgyu smirks, leaning back to indulge in Yeonjun’s space. “Are you always so obedient?” He leverages his weight closer in a way that makes Yeonjun catch him by his waist, hands gripping on the thick layer of fabric of the parka.
Beomgyu’s heart leaps, the odd feeling in his chest being long forgotten. Not when Yeonjun looks back at him right under his lashes, cheeks flushed – supposedly from cold, but who knows – and eyes wandering across Beomgyu’s face.
Yeonjun’s confusion lasts only for a split of a second as he furrows, slightly pushing the other boy back in place. “Shut up, Beomgyu,” he mutters, now looking back at Kai and Taehyun who are busy middling with the object in question.
“Aw, I am not special?” Beomgyu grasps on his heart dramatically, still pleased with the damage he caused.
Yeonjun just rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to Soobin. “I really think they shouldn’t touch it,” the latter leans in to say, facing Yeonjun and Beomgyu now.
“Hey, it’s just a stupid piece of rock,” Yeonjun shrugs. “What hypothetically can even happen?”
“Someone left it on our porch,” Soobin accentuates, voice worried now as he trails Kai’s figure. “Meaning that that was done on purpose. What if it’s a batshit crazy fan?”
“Still, pretty much, just a rock,” Yeonjun says. “It could easily get there by accident – why would anyone leave a rock on our porch?”
“It can be cursed, you know?” Beomgyu decides to interfere, fiddling with his fingers. Not like he has been very spiritual, to begin with, but he reads a lot, okay?
“Cursed?” Soobin shrieks, eyes widening.
“Great, now you scared him,” Yeonjun rolls his eyes. “Binnie, it’s definitely not cursed. It’s just a piece of rock.”
“My mom said once that gemstones can have energies,” Beomgyu goes on, now all the attention glued on the rock in Kai’s hands. His guts twitch. “And that they can transfer energies – negative as equally as positive. My mom also has a bunch of them thrown around the house, so yeah, it’s possible that it was done on purpose.”
“This assumption is stupid,” Yeonjun counters.
“Did you just call my mom stupid?”
“Hey, it didn’t—”
“Guys,” Soobin whines. “A problem. Right here.”
“You both are idiots and there is no problem,” Yeonjun steps aside, trying to pull out the keys. His voice is angered now – for real this time. “Seriously? A cursed stone? What are you, twelve?”
“I mean—”
“No need to be rude, hyung,” Beomgyu looks at him, the atmosphere suddenly shifting. “Just because you don’t believe in something does not mean it does not exist. And Soobin is obviously worried.”
“I wasn’t being rude,” Yeonjun grits through his teeth. “I am just saying that it’s nonsense.”
They stare at each other for a few minutes, uneasiness settling in between. Soobin nearby is obviously tensed, visibly not used to the fact that Yeonjun and Beomgyu are engaging in a fight that is pretty much more than just a harmless bicker, and Beomgyu is pumped, not wanting to give in in this fight.
“I will take it!” Kai’s voice breaks the tension – thankfully, as Beomgyu sees how Soobin lets out an exhale – and he turns around, face gleaming with pure excitement. Taehyun nearby him is also smiling, fondness spluttered across his face.
They all were weak.
“I don’t think it’s the best idea,” Soobin tries – he really does – but Kai looks back at him with a pout, and Taehyun’s eyes are as equally round and twinkling, probably wanting to investigate the random piece of rock to come to a solution later. “But—okay, I guess.”
“Hyung,” Beomgyu mumbles, chest suddenly feeling heavy.
“Maybe, Yeonjun is right,” he shrugs, looking back. “What’s the worst that can happen, indeed?”
Beomgyu wished there hasn’t been an answer to that.
*
“So, how’s your feeling?”
Beomgyu looks up, watching as Yeonjun plops down near him on the floor of their practice room. He looks unfairly ethereal for a person who is fully soaked through in sweat, with strands of hair sticking tightly onto his skin and face flushed and red from the tension but, well – Yeonjun always looked as if he stepped right out of the runway.
Beomgyu learned that in a hard way, unfortunately.
“Oh, now you care,” Beomgyu snorts and quickly averts the gaze. Being caught of staring at your sweaty best friend is definitely not something that he would allow anyone to witness.
And, well, he is still mad. Yesterday’s fight didn’t have any resolution, with Yeonjun hastily going to sleep as soon as he went past the front doors, leaving Beomgyu pumped and annoyed and giving no opportunity to let it out. So, yes. Beomgyu is mad.
As much as he can allow it with Yeonjun.
“Hey, I never said I didn’t,” Yeonjun mumbles as he furrows. “Are you still angry at me?”
“I am not angry,” Beomgyu shrugs, lips unconsciously twitching as the words leave his mouth.
Yeonjun arches an eyebrow at him in a silent question.
“Okay, I am angry,” Beomgyu sighs – lying to Yeonjun, in this case, is pointless anyways as the boy has always seen right through him. “I just don’t understand why you got so aggressive. Soobin does take it close to heart, you know.”
“Something tells me it’s not only about Soobin,” Yeonjun tilted his head to the side, a small smile curling at the corners of his lips. Beomgyu thinks it is so fucking unfair how he just knows how to charm you in and push the right buttons – no matter who you are to him, at this point. “You are still worried, aren’t you?”
The thing is, Beomgyu was. The unsettling feeling in his chest still heaved him – mostly, in the evenings when there weren’t enough distracting factors to keep him engaged. And it was wholly, and utterly unexplainable – a simple feeling of something being wrong that he couldn’t physically brush away. “It’s stupid,” he mumbles, playing with the edges of his cardigan sleeves, eyes glued to his own fidgeting fingers.
“If that’s what you’re feeling it’s not,” Yeonjun replies, hand slowly tugging on Beomgyu’s sleeve as well. His fingers quickly brush through the skin and Beomgyu shudders lightly from the touch – his own hands have always been way too cold for Yeonjun’s warm ones.
Ironic. “Sorry for being an ass, really. I just didn’t want you to get anxious over stuff that stupid--” Beomgyu snaps at the last word as Yeonjun stumbles, “I mean—not stupid!” He quickly corrects himself and Beomgyu can’t help but let out a smile. “Maybe, you can explain it better to me?”
Beomgyu purses his lips and clutches the fabric in his hands tighter. Explaining intangible things has usually been easy with people like Soobin – both of them were more emotion-driven, to begin with, so certain things didn’t even require an explanation from Beomgyu’s end – they both just got each other wordlessly.
Yeonjun was a different story, though. He has always needed anything to grasp onto when there was a problem – something factual and rational that has a plain and practical solution. But Beomgyu does not have anything more or less tangible to clutch on, seeing as Yeonjun is already struggling to understand what is happening. “Not everything in this life is rational and explainable, Yeonjun,” Beomgyu settles with that, as he looks up to face Yeonjun again. Yeonjun opens his mouth, as if trying to say anything but closes it as fast, expression being something in-between lost and confused.
“Where did Kai go? I swear to god it’s been twenty minutes already,” Soobin’s voice strikes through the room as he plops down right beside Beomgyu. Taehyun follows right after, but scoops closer to Yeonjun, leaning his head down on his shoulder. There is sweat on his temples and his hair is damp as it frames his face from the sides.
“Weird, he just told me he needs to go to the bathroom for a second,” Yeonjun muses, straining his neck to give Taehyun more space. Beomgyu just smiles at the sight, wishing those things were as easy to him – being near Yeonjun has always felt like walking around the glass, never knowing which action exactly would lead to the small cuts that are already burning in Beomgyu’s wrenched heart.
Stupid. “Maybe he has stomach problems,” Beomgyu offers and shrugs, scoping his crossed legs closer.
“Stomach problems?” Taehyun huffs.
“Do you want to talk about poop in public?”
“Can we please not?” Soobin groans just as the door behind them opens with a loud thump. Beomgyu doesn’t hear but feels with his back as Kai comes closer, heavy steps vibrating right through his hands through the floor. “Oh, finally! We’ve been—” Soobin pats the place between him and Beomgyu with a smile, but as he looks up the expression drastically changes to a blank one. “Kai, what’s wrong?”
Beomgyu turns around and his heart drops. Kai’s face is pale – not just his cheeks, but his whole face, along with his lips that are so white now that it borders with sickishly-green colour. His eyes are open wide, and his pupils are blown as he breathes heavily.
Something is wrong.
“Nothing,” Kai forces out and shoots a quick smile – no one buys that, obviously.
“Kai,” Soobin presses, placing a hand on Kai’s shoulder. It must have broken something as Kai starts breathing in and out heavily again, looking to the floor.
“Oh my god, is he alright?” Taehyun straightens up and furrows.
No, Beomgyu thinks and grasps on Kai from the other side. He clings on his hand tightly and his hands are even colder than Beomgyu’s – if that is even possible. They feel freezing.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Beomgyu whispers quietly, taking a few strands away from his face. “You’re okay, hey.”
“You will laugh,” Kai says, this time louder. His voice is closer to a whine as he leans his forehead and bumps it against his knees.
“We won’t,” Soobin replies, voice steady and calm. Beomgyu wonders how he does that as his own voice is probably all hitched and wobbly if he attempts to speak. “Even if it’s about weird stomach problems.”
That grants them all a low chuckle, muffled by Kai’s knees. Soobin’s hand now goes back and forth against Kai’s back and Beomgyu still clutches one of his hands tightly. He looks up and meets Yeonjun’s gaze, worried and mirroring his own one. His jaw is visibly clenched from the tension as well as his fists, knuckles white.
“I—” Kai starts, and Beomgyu’s attention is on him again, caressing his hand soothingly. “I saw a vision.”
“What?” Yeonjun squeaks and Soobin nearby mouths something that Beomgyu can’t quite make out to him – probably stop. “Maybe you fell asleep for a few minutes or—”
“No,” Kai cuts him out before he can finish, voice firmer now. He raises his head from his knees but hugs them close to his chest, practically squished between Beomgyu and Soobin. “It was not a dream. It was way too real. I was there. Saw that.” Kai shuts his eyes close and shakes his head, as if trying to get rid of the memory.
A tensed silence settles for a few minutes – it’s hard for Beomgyu to imagine what possibly can be said in this situation. No one still gets what is going on and this all, indeed, sounds wary, but the look on Kai’s face is way too horrifying to just brush it on the stress.
“Saw what, Heuningie?” Soobin breaks the silence first – obviously – carefully trying to make Kai look at him. But Kai just shakes his head again, keeping his eyes closed now rocking back and forth as he still clutches on Beomgyu’s hand.
Beomgyu thinks it would hurt as a bitch in the evening but that is definitely not his first priority as of now. “Okay, leave him be,” he whispers quietly, wordlessly asking Soobin to back away. Soobin just nods but pulls Kai closer.
“It can be anything. I heard that from stress—” Yeonjun starts and Beomgyu knows it is probably meant in the best way possible as they all are worried and confused but, just like yesterday, something bursts in a hot splutter of anger.
“Hyung, it’s really not the time,” he spews, throwing Yeonjun a firm glance. Beomgyu sees that Yeonjun is hinged too now – his cheeks are flushed and his fists clench and unclench uncontrollably as he looks back. It is a silent argument but equally as hitting for Beomgyu, as he tries not to squirm under the gaze. “How can we figure out if we don’t even understand if it’s real or not?” Yeonjun fumes, his voice sharp and stiff at the edges. Beomgyu feels as Kai inhales sharply with a tremble. “Look, I don’t want do diminish his feelings—”
“And that is exactly what you are doing now,” Beomgyu shoots back at him. It all mixes together – anger from yesterday, a constant confusion of their encounters lately, always seeming like something is on the edge and a tensed feeling that is still pressing against Beomgyu’s chest.
He won’t back away.
Yeonjun exhales loudly, crossing his arms on his chest. “How do we even know it’s real?”
“It is.” Beomgyu and Yeonjun’s heads snap as Taehyun’s voice chimes in. His gaze is wavering and his teeth press into his bottom lip so hard that Beomgyu swears he can spot traces of blood now. “Real, I mean.” He clears his throat to speak louder. Nearby, Kai finally opens his eyes as they all look at each other in confusion. “Vision. I had it too.”
Kai breaks down in a low sob.
*
“And now, we talk for real,” Soobin paces back and forth in the living room, with other members spluttered somewhere across the floor and the couch. Beomgyu’s sides are pressed in-between Yeonjun and Taehyun, and Kai settles at their feet on the floor, head resting against one of Yeonjun’s legs. It almost seems like all of them are way too scared to leave any breathing space amidst – as if something terrifying happens as soon as they let go.
Beomgyu doesn’t like that feeling.
“It’s hard to explain,” Taehyun starts, and Beomgyu feels a quick shuffling nearby. “But Kai is right – it definitely didn’t seem like a dream to me, or a spur of imagination, at that point.”
“When did you see it?” Beomgyu mumbles quietly, tilting his head to face Taehyun.
The boy doesn’t look back and just shrugs, lowering his gaze even more. “In the morning,” he says after a quick pause, taking a deep breath. “I was taking a shower. Then, stepped out and—” Taehyun’s voice breaks a little and Beomgyu unconsciously shudders too. “I don’t know—it almost seemed like another reality.”
Nearby him Yeonjun lets out a low snort and Beomgyu swears he wants to punch him. Stay quiet, Beomgyu mouths, getting an eye-roll in reply.
“I know it sounds crazy—”
“It does not,” Kai shakes his head.
“To everyone else, I mean,” Taehyun huffs. “But I felt it. It all seemed too real.”
“Same for me,” Kai nods in reply. “I really don’t know what happened, or how it happened, it’s just—” he shrugs, “felt real.”
Soobin stops pacing, now standing in front of them in the middle of the room. If Beomgyu hadn’t known him that well he would have said that the boy looks calm and collected, but the slight twitch in his eyes and trembling fingers give the nervousness away. “Okay,” he hums, breathing out slowly. “That’s, at least, a start.”
“A shitty start, I would say,” Yeonjun mumbles and lets out a yelp as Beomgyu elbows him in the ribs – not hard enough to hurt, but with enough force to shut him up.
“What did you see?” Soobin asks, and both Kai and Taehyun freeze in their place. Beomgyu notices beads of sweat on Taehyun's temples, and the same sight on the back of Kai’s neck as he traces his gaze back at him.
Soobin lets out a heavy exhale and comes closer, crouching down in front of them. “Guys, if we want to fix it, we need as much information as we can get now, yeah?”
Beomgyu hears as Taehyun gulps near him, expression blank and emotionless. “I mean, it’s pretty useless to get this information now – just knowing that it was the same thing is enough,” Beomgyu shrugs, feeling as Kai tenses down on the floor, shoulders relaxing. Taehyun throws him a grateful look from the side. “I say, we need to do a research.”
“Are you for real?” Yeonjun groans, throwing his head back. He did stay suspiciously quiet after Beomgyu asked for more consideration, but now he is visibly boiling again, looking stern and annoyed.
“Do you have better ideas, hyung?” Beomgyu retorts, half turning to face him. There is something slick and heavy in the air, fuming and flaring with tension.
“I don’t,” Yeonjun replies calmly. Their knees are brushing from the proximity and Beomgyu practically feels the heat from Yeonjun’s body. “I just think that this plan is irrational.”
“How in hell research is irrational in this situation?”
“You don’t even get what I am trying to say.”
“Because you keep saying complete bullshit.”
“Guys,” Kai whines, hitting Beomgyu’s shin. “Not the time.”
“What did you just say?” Yeonjun now is leaning over, placing his palm on Beomgyu’s thigh. Beomgyu knows he won’t hurt him – never – but there is a spur of adrenaline throbbing in Beomgyu’s veins.
Try me.
“Okay, really, enough,” Soobin pushes them away from each other in a quick movement. “Yeonjun, behave.”
“Because he’s so above it all to listen to one of us, right,” Beomgyu mumbles, his own words cutting through like a knife. “Funny, hyung.”
“I said, enough,” Soobin repeats – firmer this time. “I think, research is a good idea,” he says, giving Beomgyu a soft look.
“I can do that,” Taehyun chimes in, eyes lighting up. “I am the best at that, anyways.”
“You are,” Beomgyu huffs, gently bumping into his shoulder.
“Great,” Soobin chuckles, a small smile curling on his lips. “Well, we all know it all went down since the rock incident so I guess that would be a good starting point for you.”
“I can help,” Kai practically swings around in his place, looking at Taehyun, who is already typing something down in his phone.
“Me too,” Beomgyu adds. “I can ask my mom.”
“Fucking great,” Yeonjun grits and gets up, Beomgyu’s body annoyingly missing the disappearing heat. “I am going to sleep.”
“Hyung,” Soobin calls after him, but Yeonjun is already gone, closing the door with a loud thump.
“I’ll check on him,” Beomgyu decides, getting up as well. Taehyun catches him by the arm, grasping soothingly but Beomgyu just lets out a pursed smile, heading into the direction of Yeonjun’s room.
With a heavy heart, Beomgyu pushes the door handle, feeling the pulse already picking up. “What’s your fucking problem?” He taunts, entering the premises. Funnily, Yeonjun’s room is as warm as him, all yellow colours and stalled heat inside. Everything is in neat order, as it always is, reflecting his perfectionist self.
“I have no problem,” Yeonjun hums from his bed, eyes closed as he is sprawled on the mattress. His face looks, indeed, peaceful, but there is a tensed aura that settles in-between that faux perfection. “Just tired.”
“Tired, my ass,” Beomgyu rolls his eyes, coming closer. “You know you are being a total jerk, right?” He sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Yeonjun’s eyes are still closed but he sees his jaw clench under the skin. “Hey, talk to me?” Beomgyu lightly tugs on his wrist, cold grazing the warmness again.
Yeonjun shudders and breathes out, wrist kept in place under Beomgyu’s hand. “It just annoys me that I can’t do anything,” he blabbers, voices softer and quieter this time.
“What do you mean?” Beomgyu asks carefully, a thumb of his hand unknowingly caressing the skin on the back of his wrist.
“I just—” Yeonjun starts, opening his eyes. His gaze is a little fuzzy and teary as he looks through the lashes. “I am bad at this, you know? I don’t understand the problem and the looks on kids’ faces are—” He shakes his head and blinks. “Horrified. And I can’t do anything about that because everything about the situation is irrational.”
Beomgyu feels something scratch deep inside as he sees as Yeonjun nibbles on his lip worriedly. It was a rare sight of witnessing Yeonjun in anything that is not bold and confident, so those rare moments that Beomgyu had managed to catch felt a little bit too intimate – as if they shared a secret that was meant to be kept.
Beomgyu kept it way too deep in his heart, turning it into his being.
“I told you, not everything is explainable and rational,” he smiles – tries too – fingers still caressing the soft smooth skin.
“I know,” Yeonjun smiles back, wiggling his wrist in a way that makes their fingers intertwine lightly. “I just hate being… helpless.”
“You’re not helpless,” Beomgyu says, trying to keep a stoic expression as Yeonjun starts playing with his fingers. “Just your presence is enough to keep them calm, you know.”
“And you?” Yeonjun chuckles, pulling him a bit closer. “Is it enough?”
Yes, Beomgyu helplessly thinks. “No, you annoy my guts,” he says instead, snatching his hand from a gentle grip.
“Of course, I do,” Yeonjun rolls his eyes, but the smile is still soft. “Thank you, Gyu,” he says with a more serious look as he furrows.
“No biggie, hyung,” Beomgyu forces out, something akin to the fire burning his throat. It was ridiculous how both flattering and damaging it felt to be near Yeonjun, in all the pathetic ways.
“Will you stay?” Yeonjun asks with a sad smile gracing his lips, probably knowing the answer already.
“Nah, I need to talk to mom, remember?” Beomgyu tries to throw it casually, letting out a laugh. “Will stay for a few more hours, so,” he shrugs, getting up on his feet.
“Okay,” Yeonjun answers, smile wavering.
“Okay.”
Beomgyu stumbles in his place for a few more seconds before throwing Yeonjun the last comforting glace and turning around.
“Promise me you’ll tell me if something is wrong.” The voice stops him right at the door as he grabs onto the handle. His heart flips but he pushes it back into the spot quickly, as much as he can.
As much as he can allow.
“I promise.”
Yet the words still feel like a blatant lie.
*
It starts with the bones.
Jesting, wrecking feeling in his bones that flare up to his core, making everything around playing with colours that turn a mere illusion into a reality.
Beomgyu wakes up. But he is not at home.
At first, Beomgyu thought it is a dream – liquid and livid, feeling way too real on the tips of his fingers. Too real to be considered haze.
The last thing he remembers is falling asleep in the comfort of his bed and blanket, but when he opens his eyes there is no bed, no premise of the room, no warmness. Just an unsettling cold. A hanging feeling on his chest that now bloomed into something more.
Beomgyu looks around, everything submerged into the darkness. The premise is a reminiscence of his old school – looks similar, yet something utterly terrifying oozes in the place.
Something foreign.
Meekly, Beomgyu makes timid steps ahead, going further and further into the once familiar halls of the school. The ground under his feet is solid and cold, once again reminding him that this is not a dream. Not quite.
It’s in his bones.
There is a dull bumping sound – as if something dropped to the floor – and instinctively, Beomgyu makes his way towards it, heart beating harshly against his ribcage, echoing every breath he takes. He sees a splutter of light, a silverish beam that lures him in towards what once was their school gym. The smell of rubber and gum hits his nose as he breathes in sharply, entering the place.
And then, there is a body. Right in the middle of it, laying aimlessly on the floor.
Beomgyu wants to scream but nothing comes out, turning it into a silent cry. The rational part of his mind shouts run, but something stronger and more powerful now has a grip on him, as if there is a thick thread tied to his heart that is being pulled further.
Beomgyu has nothing left but to obey.
“Fuck,” he mutters, taking small steps towards the middle. The floor is sleazy and slippery, squeaking under his feet as he goes. The moonlight and its silverish beams fall through the window, illuminating the lifeless body on the ground.
But if Beomgyu had thought that the darkness is the most terrifying thing there, the familiarness of the features that come into view as he comes closer makes his blood freeze and heart drop.
Recognizing Yeonjun in the demised pale body felt as if Beomgyu has never had a heart at all.
Beomgyu stumbles and falls to his knees as they harshly hit the ground. The pain is sharp but still feels dull in comparison to the ache in his lungs caused by the sight.
“No, no, no,” he mumbles, moving his now trembling hands against the floor. There is blood – not much of it, but it’s there, some splutter seen on Yeonjun’s face and his bare arms, covered in a thin layer of scratches. Shakingly, Beomgyu tries to grip Yeonjun’s wrist.
Yesterday, the skin was a little moist and warm – Yeonjun has always been warm.
Now it’s cold – not simply cold, but the feeling is sharp and almost painful on the edges of his fingers. As if he is electrocuted.
“No. It’s not real,” he whispers, the words terrifyingly contradicting a quite real feeling of the coldness of Yeonjun’s skin. “It can’t be—”
He closes his eyes, grasping on the air as fish deprived of water. Beomgyu feels like one, too.
Promise me you’ll tell me if something is wrong.
“Not real,” he breathes out, and when he opens his eyes again the sun is blinding him, unusually bright beams shining through the window in the midst of winter.
He is home again.
*
The first thing Beomgyu does as he jolts from the bed is run to the kitchen. He hears the sounds of cooking and muffled music that is hitting the living room as he comes through, still in the haze but this time quite different.
Beomgyu rushes out of the room, stumbling a few times on his way, until he finally surges into a solid body in full force.
“Is there a rush I know nothing about?” Beomgyu feels as Yeonjun gently catches him by his forearms, voice teasing but soft as he glances Beomgyu up and down. “Because, I have this huge breakfast thing planned and, well,” his eyes skim Beomgyu’s figure once more, making latter’s heart twist – even in a situation that odd – “as much as you are amusingly pretty, I don’t think there is anything that can save this.”
Beomgyu knows he looks wrecked – his still longish hair is sticky and damp on his skin, as well as his body that is covered in sweat, too. He probably smells, and there are gross spots all over his shirt, and his sleeping sweatpants are all crinkled and sticky, one of the trouser’s legs rolled up, showing the skin.
Under other circumstances, walking out like this would have felt rather shameful. Beomgyu liked to be pretty, and liked feeling neat, even under the gazes of the people who truly don’t care much how he looks or how fresh he is on the day off. But, right now, there is an undying, irresistible urge to make sure that everything is okay.
That Yeonjun is fine.
“Hyung,” Beomgyu says, but the voice breaks somewhere in the middle, making it seem like a screeching whine. “You’re okay.”
“What?” Yeonjun blinks, stretching his arms to put a little distance between them. “Of course, I am okay, why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“I—” Beomgyu sucks in a breath, closing his mouth again. What is he supposed to say? “You look good,” he blurts out instead of explanation. They don’t really have schedules today, so Yeonjun’s hair is a bit dishevelled, falling prettily onto his eyes as he looks through his bangs. His eyes are gleaming brightly, and his skin looks warm and shiny as the light is playing on it. He looks alive. As if reminding Beomgyu again that Yeonjun from the vision wasn’t real.
Beomgyu realizes that he is staring for a little bit too long as Yeonjun furrows and shakes him by the shoulders.
“Okay, this is weird,” Yeonjun says with a confused expression on his face. “Are you sure you are okay?”
“Don’t act like I don’t ever say you look good,” Beomgyu counters as if it will make the situation better. He sees as Yeonjun lets out a soft sigh as he blinks again, obviously startled. On other occasions Beomgyu would be smirking triumphantly at the thought that he himself made the Choi Yeonjun flustered but instead he feels even smaller, wanting to curl into Yeonjun’s figure further.
Really, fuck this.
Yeonjun gulps, coming to senses at last. “Not like that,” he mumbles barely audibly, grasping on Beomgyu’s arms tighter. It kind of hurts, but in all the right places so Beomgyu just stays still, taking all the bits of real, livid Yeonjun craved into his mind.
Making sure those images won’t disappear again.
“Did something happen?” Yeonjun asks, now leading them both to the couch. They both plop down but one of Yeonjun’s hands stays firm on Beomgyu’s forearm as he looks at the boy again up and down. “It did,” Yeonjun comes to a conclusion after no answer follows. “What happened?”
“Nothing really serious,” Beomgyu shrugs, averting the gaze.
Knows that Yeonjun can figure him out way too easily.
Which he does. “Don’t,” Yeonjun says, fingers now at the side of Beomgyu’s face while putting his chin up, making their eyes meet again. “You look railed, and not in a good way.”
The hold on Beomgyu’s chin is firm as he says that and Beomgyu flushes embarrassingly, making a gulp. “Shut up.”
“Beomgyu.”
Beomgyu curses all of his instincts when his body reacts to the sound of his name so naturally, practically melting down all the walls he put up. He closes his eyes – just for a second, to take a deep breath – and opens them slowly, unknowingly nudging into Yeonjun’s soft grip.
“I am just glad you are okay, hyung,” Beomgyu finally says – and well, it’s truth.
Yeonjun nibbles his lower lip, still furrowing. “Did you—” He starts, clearing his throat. “See this… thing.”
“I really don’t want to talk about it,” Beomgyu shakes his head with tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. “Can we not talk about this?”
“We can,” Yeonjun nods and puts one of his hands away from Beomgyu’s face, dropping them to his knees. The touch still burns through Beomgyu’s skin, though. “But I want to talk about this,” Yeonjun goes on, more careful this time. “God, you even look worse than them, if that was possible.”
“Thank you, really needed to hear that,” Beomgyu snorts, pushing Yeonjun’s knee teasingly.
“I meant the way you are shaken up,” Yeonjun rolls his eyes, mood shiffing to their usual bickering one. “You looked at me like I hung stars or something,” he chuckles but there is a tint of bitterness to it—Beomgyu almost swears there is something sad and desperate in the way words are said.
Probably imagining that, though.
“You hungry?” Yeonjun suddenly switches the topic and gets up, stretching his arms above his head. “Because, if you are, sorry, I am not letting you overpower the smell of food with your gross sweat.”
“It’s not that bad,” Beomgyu huffs, flinching from the obviousness of the lie. “But, fine. Only because I really want to eat.” He gets up as well, tugging onto his dishevelled clothes as if it will make them look better.
“Whatever you say,” Yeonjun smirks softly. The tension is gone but there is still something pushing in the way they both look at each other—timid yet attentive, making Beomgyu’s breath hitch in all the unnecessary ways.
“I will,” Beomgyu says, gesturing in the bathroom’s direction, not taking time to finish the sentence.
“Yeah, you should,” Yeonjun nods and before he can say anything more Beomgyu is already turning away on his heels, getting to the bathroom as quickly as he can.
The tiles are cold as Beomgyu’s heated body leans against them as soon as the door behind closes. He slides down, feeling as his heart beats harshly against his ribcage, threatening to break away.
Beomgyu used to think that it’s just a stupid crush because well—Yeonjun is Yeonjun. It started no more than a little feeling of excitement and anticipation in his chest whenever they got to their usual routines, making Beomgyu pleased and pumped up whenever he managed to get under Yeonjun’s skin. Their little own game that both of them seemed to enjoy.
But then Yeonjun started to care – it was expressed in small things and gestures, hesitant looks of fondness mostly caught off cameras or by the other members, encouraging words thrown casually and quickly, but still feeling so sincere. Slowly, Yeonjun became his calmness, now turning the tables and making him the one to crawl under Beomgyu’s skin further and further. And Beomgyu’s biggest fear has always been being deprived of it.
With a shaky breath, he manages to get up from the floor, throwing his clothes away in a haze.
The shower that he takes today is a bit colder than usual.
*
“Did we really need to bring a whole ass writing board to the dorm to talk about this?” Yeonjun grunts as he and Taehyun finally put the weight of the whiteboard on their arms, both of them breathing heavily. It surprisingly doesn’t look out of place in their living room—as strange as it seems, now standing neatly near the big TV in front of their couch.
“It’s for the entourage, hyung,” Kai hops in excitement, spreading colourful markers on the table in front of him.
Beomgyu throws a questioning look at Taehyun but the latter just shrugs, mouthing his idea, making Beomgyu chuckle.
“Whatever that means,” Yeonjun groans and plops down right beside Beomgyu, their shoulders and thighs pressing tightly. Beomgyu tries not to show that it is affecting him somehow, looking everywhere but Yeonjun. He darts his gaze at Soobin as he is sitting cross-legged on the floor, smiling at whatever Kai is doing as he watches him closely.
“Oblivious idiots,” Yeonjun whispers under his breath.
Beomgyu doesn’t comment.
“Thank you for coming to our presentation,” Kai clasps with his hands as he holds onto the marker tightly.
“Presentation?” Yeonjun asks and Beomgyu elbows him lightly, making the older yelp. “Okay, okay, whatever, mastermind.”
“Thank you, Yeonjun-hyung,” Kai beams and turns to the board. “After hours and days of hard work and excessive research we finally are ready to present a solution to our problem.”
“Wait, really?” Yeonjun gasps and Beomgyu elbows him again—harder this time. “Ouch, Beomgyu, what the fuck?”
“Just shut up, will you,” Beomgyu hisses.
“What happened to Just your presence is enough to keep them calm, huh?”
“Not when you are being a total jerk again.”
“What do you mean again?”
“Guys,” Soobin shushes them with a stern look. “Not the time.”
“Sorry,” both of them mumble, turning their attention back to Kai.
“So, the thing started with that stupid rock, right? Or, rather, gemstone,” Kai says, hurriedly putting a picture of a blue stone with a magnet on the board.
“Wait, it really is a gemstone?” Beomgyu squints, trying to make out the image.
“Yes!” Kain nods enthusiastically, clasping his hands. “After long hours of comparing, me and my partner Taehyun managed to identify it—it’s blue sapphire.”
“Wait what? Aren’t those like super expensive?” Yeonjun asks, leaning forward. His hand find leverage on Beomgyu’s thigh, though, making his breath hitch a little at the sudden sensation.
“Not in the ungrained form,” Taehyun chimes in. “As you see, it’s not in the usual state of precious stone that you see on the stalls.”
Yeonjun’s eyebrows flare-up. “And this is important because?”
“A good question, hyung,” Kai chuckles and starts drawing circles on the board. “According to Hindu astrology, Blue Sapphire or Neelam represents Saturn and is an incredibly powerful stone. But legend says that the stone is only meant for certain people. For some, it will bring fortune beyond measure, good health, and a lifetime of prosperity. But for others, the stone will immediately cast darkness and chaos.”
“Wait, we have Capricorns in the group?” Beomgyu mutters quietly but realizes that everyone is looking at him now. “What? I like astrology, Saturn is the ruler of Capricorn, but we don’t have Capricorns.”
“I think my Mercury is in Capricorn,” Taehyun furrows.
“Oh really?”
“Irrelevant for now,” Kai wavers his hands in front of them.
“I still don’t understand what the fuck is happening,” Yeonjun groans.
“Hyung, language,” Soobin nags, throwing him a look.
“In short, if charged with bad energy it really can be interpreted as a curse,” Taehyun follows Kai’s words, half turning from his place to face everyone as he explains. “What Beomgyu said was right—gemstones can transfer energies and if given with malicious intent then it can cause harm to the bearer.”
Soobin hums and nods. “So, we are seeing this because of a cursed stone? But how?”
“Well, that’s the second thing,” Taehyung purses his lips in a tight line. “There wasn’t anything on the internet about that so I kind of hacked one of the online libraries and found the book that indeed had a record of connection of the sapphire to the visions. Basically, it says that, I quote, if the bearer contacts the cursed stone, then thee would experience loss over and over again.”
“I still don’t understand,” Yeonjun sighs.
“Basically, what they explain is that the person sees visions in which they experience losing the thing that is the dearest to them.”
Beomgyu thinks his heart physically drops to his stomach. He feels beads of sweat at the back of his neck and on his palms as his pulse picks up at a crazy pace.
Losing the thing that is the dearest to them.
Beomgyu swallows a helpless whine.
“Wait,” Soobin interrupts his internal struggle as he stands up to face everyone. “Only Taehyun and Kai saw the visions, right? The ones who touched it.”
“Twice or thrice – every time the same thing for us,” Kai shrugs.
“Beomgyu too,” Yeonjun grasps on his thigh tighter, tilting his head to look at him. Beomgyu just gapes, looking down at Yeonjun’s hand. “You didn’t tell them?” Yeonjun screeches.
“Hyung?” Beomgyu hears Taehyun mumbling.
“I—” Beomgyu sucks in a breath, trying to keep himself from trembling. The feeling of Yeonjun’s hand on his thigh that is burning through him doesn’t help to concentrate at all. “Yeah, I didn’t want to burden you with useless information.”
“Absolutely not useless,” Taehyun says sympathetically. “But you didn’t touch it.”
“Well,” Soobin starts with a hitched breath as he fumbles with his fingers nervously. “I kind of had a vision too if we’re at that.”
Fuck.
“Amazing,” Yeonjun groans loudly. “We all are so honest with each other, aren’t we?”
“The contact can be our house since it is filled with our energies, I guess,” Kai says hesitantly, looking for Taehyun’s approval who nods to that.
“And I am the only one who didn’t see it, whatever that means,” Yeonjun mumbles, taking the hand away from Beomgyu’s thigh to hide his face. “I wish I could take it for you all instead.”
Beomgyu’s heart breaks from how helpless this sounds. “Hyung, it’s not your fault,” Beomgyu pats his back, now being the one to soothe him with a touch.
“What did you see?” Yeonjun raises his head, and his gaze goes over everyone in the room. Stops at Beomgyu—scared and desperate, reflecting the swirl of emotions in Beomgyu’s chest unknowingly. “Let’s—let’s not be secretive again, please. I feel like it’s making everything even worse.”
I can’t tell him. I can’t.
The silence is deafening, even if it’s short and tense. Beomgyu feels the panic rise at the thought of admitting to seeing Yeonjun to everyone, but ironically, Yeonjun’s reaction is what scares him the most.
“I saw my family,” Kai breaks the silence first – always the bravest. “All of them. Dead.”
Dead.
Yeonjun’s lifeless body on the floor and the smell of rubber.
“Same but with my sister,” Soobin follows with a plain look on his face. “She wasn’t the only one, though, I —” He stumbles, voice breaking in the middle. “I saw other bodies, somewhere ahead but the vision always stopped there.”
Yeonjun lets out a low noise, cursing under his breath. Kai’s expression is emotionless, but Beomgyu sees how his jaw is clenched so tightly that the muscles twitch under the skin.
“I saw all of you,” Taehyun confesses last, eyes shut close.
“Taehyun,” Beomgyu whispers, feeling the tears rolling up to his throat.
“It’s fine,” Taehyun smiles meekly, giving everyone a quick glance up. “Not like it’s real, right?”
Now Beomgyu feels Yeonjun’s eyes practically boring through him, waiting for him to speak up. But Beomgyu can’t—not even emotionally, but physically, all the energy in his body sleeping through fingers. “Do I really have to?” Even his voice trembles when he speaks, fully on the edge of bursting into tears.
“Of course not, hyu—” Kai starts but is interrupted quicker.
“Yes,” Yeonjun shuts him down firmly.
Beomgyu sighs, looking back at him. His eyes are stern and cold, with no trace of usual playfulness inside. “It literally doesn’t matter anyways.”
“Why are you concealing it then?”
“Because I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Hyung, I don’t think we should—”
“No!” Yeonjun jumps up, now fully on his feet. “This all is fucked up and you are not telling something and what if it has a connection, how would we know?”
“It literally doesn’t!” Beomgyu yells, standing up too. They are too close again—Beomgyu can feel Yeonjun’s breath on his face and the heat from his body.
“Then just say what you saw,” he grits through his teeth.
“You are so fucking annoying, Yeonjun.”
“I really don’t understand why you are acting so dumb right now over—”
“Because I saw you!” Beomgyu shouts, everything that was building up all this time coming down like one big avalanche. His heart is now beating in his ears and his vision is blurred but he is pumped up, practically bumping into Yeonjun’s body. “I fucking saw you, Yeonjun,” he plasters his hand over Yeonjun’s chest, making a light push.
Yeonjun stumbles back as his mouth falls agape. “What,” he repeats, completely dumbfounded. Someone gasps, but Beomgyu is way too hazed to care.
“I saw you dead, Yeonjun. Are you happy?” Beomgyu spews, still way too close to his face.
“What the fuck are you saying now?”
“Now you can laugh or tease me or whatever—”
“Are you dumb?” Yeonjun screeches loudly. “You really think of me that low? That the first thing I do when you tell me that something worries or hurts you, I would fucking laugh?”
The hurt look on Yeonjun’s face manages to bring Beomgyu back to his senses. He blinks a few times, brain finally processing all the things that left his mouth as he catches Yeonjun’s eyes turning watery, as if he is about to cry.
I fucked up.
“Hyung, no,” Beomgyu hurriedly says. “That wasn’t what I meant.”
“Oh, save it,” Yeonjun chuckles bitterly, rushing out of the room and grabbing his coat on the way to the door.
“Where are you going?” Soobin exhales tiredly, eyes following Yeonjun’s steps. “Yeonjun!”
“Will be back in an hour, don’t wait for me,” he grumbles and shuts the door with a loud bang behind his back.
Knees going weak, Beomgyu falls to the couch, feeling as tears are fully rolling down his cheeks as he sniffs. Everything is awkward -- Beomgyu feels it everywhere in the air and in all of the gazes that are glued to him now, not quite judging but he still feels the disappointment on the tips of his fingers.
I really am an asshole.
“That was—okay.” Taehyun clears his throat hesitantly. Kai hums something under his nose and Soobin just shrugs, occupying a free place on the couch to put one of the hands on Beomgyu's shoulder soothingly. Tears are still prickling, but Beomgyu does feel thankful for that.
“We actually didn’t get to the solution part,” Kai says quietly.
“Yeah, go ahead, I guess,” Soobin sighs, giving a meek gesture with his other hand to go on.
“We just need to cleanse the stone, or rather, re-charge it. If that was something less powerful, we could simply use the moonlight but for it to work properly the ritual is a bit stronger.”
“What do you mean?” Soobin asks and furrows.
“Well," Taehyun chuckles, and a small smile — a weak one, but still — curling upon his lips. "We kind of need to go to the sea,” he says, and the room turns quiet again.