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I'm Only Me (When I'm With You)

Summary:

“Although, you worrying is one of your better things about you. Not like Suga’s ‘may-as-well-be-a-second-mum’ type, but better. You’re better. Yeah. You’re the best. Better than the best. Yeah.” Nodding as if he were agreeing with his own brand of drunken logic, the blond reached across, poking the former pinch server on the nose before nuzzling into his shoulder.

Yamaguchi choked.
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In which Tsukki is an more than tipsy, and Yamaguchi is more than confused. Dedicated to Tumblr user @actualmemequeen, with the prompt, "things you said when you were drunk"

Notes:

Title from Taylor Swift's, "I'm Only Me When I'm With You", which is such a Tsukkiyama song you have no idea~~~

Work Text:

"Uh, Tsukki, are you OK?"

The former team of Karasuno had gathered - with everyone miracuously able to attend for once - in order to celebrate the twentieth birthday of Kageyama Tobio. Of course, being of legal drinking age meant that alcohol had been included quickly and with devastating effect. Glancing around the now completely-trashed flat that the freak duo shared in order to attend Sendai University, Yamaguchi found himself feeling fairly grateful that the party had been held there as opposed to the Kageyama family home. He didn’t think he’d have been able to look Tobio’s parents in the eye if the place had ended up anywhere near as messy as the flat that they’d all squeezed into for their night of celebration.

Drawing his attention back to Tsukki, the former pinch server found himself gaping as the blond giggled. Tsukkishima Kei, the twenty-year-old paleontology student whose face usually alternated between looks of disgust and condescending smirks, was holding a hand over his mouth and giggling.

Maybe he was hallucinating. Maybe it was a sign that he ought to stop drinking.

’I wouldn’t be the first’, he considered, glancing at some of the other young men in the room. Asahi had stopped drinking about half an hour beforehand, as he had to get a train back at mid-morning the next day and didn’t want to deal with a serious hangover. Then there was Hinata, who’d taken one sip of sake and had rocketed from sober to absolutely wasted in a matter of minutes, who was alternating between sipping at water provided by a concerned Suga, and nuzzling into Kageyama’s side. Finally, there was Tanaka, curled up in a corner of the room where he’d dozed off nearly an hour previously.

Then again, Yamaguchi was fairly certain that he wasn’t hallucinating due to alochol poisoning after all, for two reasons. One, he was only on his fourth beer (he couldn’t stand the taste of sake) and he’d once had nine before reaching that level of drunkenness. Two, he could feel the aforementioned blond wrapping an arm around his side and pulling him into a loose hug.

"m’fiiiiine, Yamu- Yamaga- Tadashi, don’t worry so much. Find your chill, or whatever.” Suddenly, Yamaguchi wished that he hadn’t wiped out the last of his phone’s battery recording Noya and Tanaka belting out a love ballad earier in the night, because he was 100% certain that hearing Tsukki use the term, ‘find your chill' was a once-in-a-lifetime event.

Tsukki wasn’t quite done yet, though. “Although, you worrying is one of your better things about you. Not like Suga’s ‘may-as-well-be-a-second-mum’ type, but better. You’re better. Yeah. You’re the best. Better than the best. Yeah.” Nodding as if he were agreeing with his own brand of drunken logic, the blond reached across, poking the former pinch server on the nose before nuzzling into his shoulder.

Yamaguchi choked.

Before he could say or do anything else, however, a new form of choas broke out as Noya fell from the tabletop he’d been dancing on, landing on Suga’s legs. Whilst Suga fretted over Noya’s safety, Daichi started yelling at the libero for nearly hurting the setter. Asahi, who was the calmest Yamaguchi had ever seen him, wandered over and tried to ease the situation, but Daichi’s yelling had woken up Tanaka, who started a garbled conversation with Noya from where the usually-confident guy was cowering behind a still-calm Asahi.

It was quickly decided, once everything finally quietened down, that everyone ought to try and get some sleep. Taking it in turns to use the flat’s bathroom, it took a full twenty minutes before all of the team were ready to attempt to get some shut-eye. Within another five, everyone’s sleeping bags and pillows were organised, and people were starting to drop off.

As soon as his area had been sorted, Yamaguchi had clambered into his sleeping bag, but he was still wide awake. Before he could close his eyes and try to sleep anyway, something landed on him with a thud. Jolting, he flicked his torch on and glanced across to find Tsukki sprawled on top of his bag, giggling again. Sighing lightly, he sat up and nudged his blond friend up as well.

"Are you sure you’re OK, Tsukki?" he asked again, recieving a nod in response.

He flicked the torch off again, and was going to suggest that the other should move to his own bag when Tsukki spoke up. "You know, you’re really cool, Tadashi. Really, really cool."

Yamaguchi froze, and Tsukki’s voice continued in the dark, sounding oddly soft and warm. “Sometimes, I remember how cool you are, and that you’re actually a lot cooler than anyone else, including me. And then I wonder why you choose to be my friend still. And then I remember it’s because of how nice you are, and that adds to your coolness. It’s a… spiral? Circle? You’re cool, and you stick with less cool people because you’re really nice, and that makes you even more cool. It keeps going. And yeah, you’re cool.”

"Tsukki… I-"

"I know I’ve had a lot of drinks, and I’m being weird and not me and totally uncool, but at least I’m being honest? You know I go on about honesty, but I’ve not been too good at that recently."

"Tsukki…" Yamaguchi tried again, voice tight, "what are you saying?"

"I’m saying… I’m… Look, it’s kinda like I’m the moon, and you’re the sun. OK? Because yeah, the moon looks sort of cool, but not by itself. The sun’s cool anyway, but the moon only looks cool because the sun’s light reflects off of it. I only look cool because your light reflects off of me."

Unable to respond, Yamaguchi flinched as he felt a shaky hand land on his cheek. This close, with the faint light from the street outside floating through under the curtains, he could make out the faint outline of the blond’s face. It was flushed lightly, but before he could see any other details it was moving even closer. Closing his eyes, Yamaguchi felt a light touch on the corner of his mouth. He was surprised by the fact that he wasn’t surprised, which was an odd concept for his own tipsy mind. But it was almost as if he’d seen this coming, had known that eventually, one day, the pair would inexplicably wind up twined together to the point where one of them took that leap.

Smiling, he adjusted them both and returned the kiss. Pulling back after a few seconds, he placed a gentle hand on top of his friend’s, squeezing lightly and grinning at the blond’s look of shock. Using the reaction as an advantage, he disentangled himself and curled up in is sleeping bag, facing the other way.

"Good night, Tsukki."

After a minute, he heard shuffling before a gentle arm was thrown over his side, and Tsukki’s sleeping bag met his own as the blond pulled him back against his chest. He felt air hit the back of his neck as Tsukki let out a breathless laugh.

"Good night, Tadashi."