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"I'm going to kill all of you and send you to Tartarus!" Percy yelled after hanging up the phone.
"Oh, shut up Perce, you know you love us," Leo said, grinning that smile that drives everyone mad.
Annabeth just smiled sincerely, knowing damn well how sensitive Percy is when it comes to his mom. He gave her a look that clearly said no kisses for a week, although they both knew he wouldn't go through with that threat.
"And Nico, of all people. I would expect you to be the last person to do that. What all did you even say?" Percy asked.
"Oh, you know, various cuss words and inappropriate things," Nico said, grinning nearly as widely as Leo, "A lot of it was slang that you probably wouldn't understand, anyways. From before my time gap."
"I understood it," Hazel said, fanning herself as she always did when overwhelmed.
"Hey, all I said was hi," Frank said, raising his hands in surrender.
"I don't think mom heard Piper, but she definitely heard Jason," Percy said, glaring at Jason who tried to hide his snicker with a cough.
"Everybody, shut up!" Percy yelled as he wandered the phone, "Hi mom."
The moment they heard it was his mom, all hell broke loose.
"HI!" Hazel yelled, trying to be loud enough for Sally Jackson to hear her.
"Hazel says hi, mom."
"Tell Hazel and your friends hello for me, Percy," Sally responded, and Percy could practically hear the smile in her voice.
Piper shared a look with the group before seductively saying, "Come back to bed, Perce," and winking.
Percy groaned as the rest of the group began to add their own inappropriate comments.
"Valdez, shut the hell up!" Percy hissed after covering the phone with his hand. Leo just snickered and continued making sexual girly noises.
Fits you, Percy thought and grinned. Leo glared, most likely guessing what Percy was grinning about.
"Sorry mom, I'm back," Percy said and his mother continued their conversation, Leo's sex noises in the background.
"Say hi for me, too," Frank said shyly. Percy did so and Sally returned the hello.
Nico went wide eyed with an idea and started speaking multiple languages. It took Percy a moment to realize Nico was cussing in different languages, occasionally in English. Hazel began frantically fanning herself at the words.
Jason grinned and Percy knew the worst was about to be said.
"Don't you dare, Grace," he warned, and Jason burst into laughter.
When Jason caught his breath and calmed down, he said, "Aye, Perce! Pass the weed!"
Percy groaned and face palmed.
"Percy, what's going on?" His mother said, her voice becoming serious.
"I have idiot friends who are very inappropriate." She hummed in understanding.
A few moments later, his friends still being inappropriate in the background, Percy and his mother wrapped up their conversation.
"Love you, mom. I'll talk to you soon."
"You best come visit me soon, young man, if you want blue pancakes."
Percy's face light up, and every one stopped their noises to groan at his obsession with the color blue.
Just before he hung up, Annabeth shocked everyone by screaming, "PERCY JACKSON, PUT YOU PANTS BACK ON!"
Everyone stared at her in awe as she grinned widely.
She was so not getting kissed for a month.
