Archive of Our Own ^beta

Hiroshi was very nervous that evening, Daisuke immediately noticed looking up from the script he was supposed to consult for that evening's episode of Dear Girl ~Stories~.

He moved his legs to the rhythm under the table, constantly curled his lips inwards and when he didn't he chewed his nails while he stared at that stack of papers with an absorbed look; he probably wasn't even understanding what he was reading.

Daisuke noticed it immediately because he now knew him better than anyone else: although every now and then he smiled at the sound engineers beyond the glass, that feeling of discomfort was palpable in the air.

There were still fifteen minutes left for the recording to begin, so he would have plenty of time to ask him about it.

Without getting too noticed by the rest of the staff, he then reached a foot under the table to go and touch one of his, immediately attracting his attention. Hiroshi, in fact, finally looked up from those sheets and began to look at him with a confused frown, bewildered at having been called that way when normally Daisuke made himself heard at full volume inside that room.

-Is everything okay?- he asked him in a low voice so as not to be heard by the others, too intent on laughing at idiotic jokes not far from them to pay them attention. Hiroshi seemed to stiffen, then lowered his gaze again and snorted softly.

-Yes, don't worry, it's nothing special.- answered only, but his angry expression betrayed him without his knowledge. Daisuke held back a bitter laugh, now used to that attitude of someone who wanted to make the best of a bad situation.

He had not taken into account, however, that it was Ono Daisuke, the man who had known him for more than 14 years and who had taken part in any change of expression, emotional crisis, good or bad moment that was.

Hiroshi could no longer enjoy the privilege of being able to hide things from him, it would have been useless.

-I find it hard to believe you.- he then smiled at him affably, indirectly telling him that he could confide in him if he needed it. He'd told him so many times now, but he didn't mind reminding him again.

-Obviously...- the older one murmured, going to scratch his neck with his free hand, visibly embarrassed.

He knew that Daisuke was better at capturing the mood of others, yet he was stronger than him: he could not be honest when it came to uncomfortable situations. He just didn't want to be too argumentative or heavy, when he knew that the other too had a hectic life like his.

He snorted, then, accepting his defeat in that battle that had as a perennial winner the man who sat in front of him, intent on observing him with those dark and always very attentive eyes that he adored, but that he would never admit in front of others.

-After.- he only murmured, giving him a rather eloquent look before going back to reading his notes.

That "after" could mean a lot of things, but Daisuke was content with the fact that he actually wanted to tell him about it, which wasn't so obvious.

It had happened several times in the past that he did not tell him anything about a given situation (unpleasant or not) and that he was forced to take the words out of his mouth just to let him vent, so when he saw him take the initiative he always managed to surprise him.

Theoretically they should have stayed at his house tonight because closer to the studio where they were at that moment, they would have plenty of time to talk about it.

---

They got out of the car a few hours later, their stomachs full and their minds a little more euphoric from all the beer they had been drinking. They had stopped to eat a bowl of ramen with the staff in the restaurant where they normally dined after the radio recordings. Then, when sleep had begun to rage slowly in their minds, they got up and headed to Hiroshi's car and then parked in front of the house of the younger of the two.

They still hadn't been able to discuss it openly because the others were present too, but at Daisuke's house there would be no one but them.

The youngest let him in first, locking the door and going to arrange his jacket, bags and various objects in their appropriate places. Hiroshi had already headed for the kitchen with a firm step, even though it wasn't his.

It was now as if it had been, actually.

-Before I tell you I need another beer.- he began with a tired tone going to open Daisuke's refrigerator as if nothing had happened, unleashing a genuine chuckle in the owner of the house.

-Serve yourself.- it was now as if they were living together, indeed, he was more surprised that he still bothered to ask his permission. Hiroshi, therefore, took one of the many cans in the fridge and sat at the kitchen table, precisely on the longer side, leaning an elbow on the surface and crossing his legs towards the other chair on the same side.

Daisuke joined him after going through the bathroom, serving himself with a simple glass of water because he had found the ramen he had eaten earlier more spicy than he expected. He sat next to him, turning the chair to be able to face him in a more intimate way since they were finally alone and could afford to do so without fear of the possible prying eyes that would surely generate that attitude.

-Tell me.- said the youngest, resting his chin on his hand, which was in turn resting on the table, ready to reassure him in case there was any need.

Hiroshi nodded his head before swallowing the beer as if it were fresh water. He normally wasn't the type to drink that much, but Daisuke knew it was all a stressor.

He needed a moment of relaxation to forget some unpleasant episode, he understood it because he used to do it too.

Who was he to judge him, then?

-Have you heard of the sound director who arrived last month? A young one...- the older one premised, placing the can on the table with a delicacy that definitely clashed with the expression on his face.

Daisuke had heard of him, yes, but very quickly a few weeks ago as he left the recording studio and headed home.

-What's his name?- asked the youngest to make up his mind, scratching his head as if to find enlightenment.

-Aoki Masato.- he pronounced that name with such a contemptuous nuance that he almost managed to make him laugh, if only he hadn't restrained himself for fear of being numb.

That name managed to break through his memory, but it was such a dull memory that it was practically clouded. He didn't even remember ever knowing anyone by that name.

-Maybe I've already heard of him, what happened?- Daisuke insisted, raising both eyebrows with a curious air. It had never happened that he took it out on a particular person, he usually got angry with the production in general, not with the singles.

-It happened that he has been driving me crazy for a week.- Hiroshi explained promptly with a bitter smile -We have been recording two single episodes for a week and I haven't finished recording my parts yet.-

That last note seemed anomalous to him like few things in the world.

-How many lines do you have?- asked the youngest accordingly, assuming that he really had a lot of lines for making it to the weekend without even finishing recording them.

-Very few.- replied the other biting his lip, annoyed -The fact is that he doesn’t let me finish a sentence without correcting me every two seconds, it’s impossible to work with him.- he clarified, taking another sip of beer as if he could really eliminate all his problems.

However, being a veteran it was not unusual for him to improvise a little and go his own way, the problem was that they usually let him do it or sought some sort of agreement together.

It was justified that Aoki, still being a rookie, but Daisuke began to think that there was more.

-How old is he, approximately?-

-Less than thirty, for sure.- replied the major, shaking his head angrily, getting up to throw the empty can into the bin.

He understood that it was all an experience factor.

-So it’s no coincidence that he treats you like that.- the smallest ascertained, sighing.

The other looked at him with a questioning look before returning to sit down, indirectly asking him for explanations with a consequent raising of the eyebrows.

-He has just started working in this field, he doesn’t know you but he knows that you are one of the veterans, because it’s impossible that he doesn’t know it, and he wants to show himself superior to you because he’s convinced that he’s the best sound director in the world just because he started at a very young age unlike others.- Daisuke explained in a few words, putting himself in his shoes for a moment -He simply wants to have everything under control and that everything goes according to his plans, if you improvise and do your own thing he feels obviously threatened.-

He wasn't totally wrong, Hiroshi thought as he remembered exactly every trait of his personality that made him want to break the glass between them and punch him.

-With time he will understand, he just needs a little more experience.- the youngest reassured him by shrugging. That Aoki was just one of many who had gone through their own studies and supervised them at work, but he knew how self-critical Hiroshi was and how much he hated being interrupted or corrected too many times in an unjustified way.

-The fact is that the other day I went home and I also took it unfairly with Nyaa-san for how nervous I was.-

-Oh no, how could this happen?- the youngest teased him, holding back a laugh. That cat had never received a scolding in all those years he had frequented his house, and Daisuke visited him very often.

-I'm serious, you idiot.- the other chuckled lightly, throwing a light kick on the calf.

-It was just to play down.- he replied, beautifully ignoring that nickname because he was used to it by now and because he knew he didn't say it to offend him.

-Monday afternoon I'll have to go back and finish recording my lines, it’s just that I'm not very motivated right now.- Hiroshi commented, wringing his hands on that empty table at that moment -If only I think I'll have to deal again with a pain in the ass like that guy...-

He wasn't the type to get his feet on his head easily, but he wasn't the type to go through all that frustration all at once and without complaining. He had known him for years, he knew how he reasoned, and he could only imagine how much the little self-esteem he normally had crumbled before his eyes when he felt corrected or interrupted in that way and continuously.

He had probably also burst into tears as soon as he got home, knowing it might be a possibility.

-Behave normally, and if he is disrespectful, answer him as you do to me.- Hiroshi burst out laughing, also thanks to the beer he had drunk until recently -With that asshole tone that always characterizes you.-

It was not uncommon for them to insult each other in a friendly way, it was just a fact.

-But you know me and you know how to react, he doesn't.- objected Hiroshi with a sort of obviousness in his voice. Not for nothing had they known each other for more than ten years, they had had experiences together and they knew each side of the other, even the most hidden one.

-You’re right.- saying this, Daisuke went to check his watch. It was just half past eleven in the evening and he was very sleepy, so they agreed and went to lie down in bed, side by side with only the light from the lampshade partially illuminating their tired faces after a long day.

Hiroshi crouched on him letting him embrace him, burying his face on his chest and watching that rise with each breath.

Peace, something he had been looking for for a whole week and that he was able to find only thanks to him. As always, anyway.

Daisuke placed a kiss on his head before starting to caress his hair with an absorbed air, feeling their breaths get heavier and heavier as sleep progressed, which with his bewitching words was dragging them both into a relaxing oblivion that was just temporary.

-Are you busy tomorrow?- asked the youngest, hoping that he was not already sleeping.

-Mmh...- Hiroshi thought, frowning from the confusion fueled by sleep -No, I’m not, you? -

-Neither am I.- the opposite would have been strange since it was two weeks since they hadn't spent an evening like that and they didn't get a moment of rest because of their busy schedule -What about going somewhere?-

Hiroshi stiffened immediately afterwards, and then rolled with difficulty on himself and propped himself up with his elbows on him to be able to look him better in his eyes.

-Are you asking me for a date?- he asked with a sort of confusion in his eyes, but the mischievous tone of his voice betrayed everything. Daisuke instantly blushed, feeling guilty for never proposing a real official date since they got together.

He thought it didn't make sense since they saw each other often at work anyway, so he hadn't even considered how much maybe he cared about it.

-Y-yes, let's put it this way.- the youngest chuckled with embarrassment, going to caress his back covered by a short-sleeved shirt that he had lent him to use as pajamas -What about going to the mountains?-

-Mountains? I would have said onsen, knowing you.- Hiroshi said, raising both eyebrows with a questioning air.

-Not with this hot temperature.- Daisuke retorted with a bitter smile to surround his lips, annoyed at the idea that summer season was approaching.

He didn't hate summer, actually, he hated the heat of summer.

-You are right.- the oldest replied, shaking his head as if to chase away that insane and created idea -What’s on your mind?-

Daisuke understood once again how nice it was to see him so involved, even though he might have wanted to spend yet another free Sunday lazing around or spending time in a not very useful but still delightful way. It meant that he too wanted, for better or worse, to change his habits in his company with him: he felt loved even though he hadn't told him openly.

-If we slept in a tent? For one night I mean.- the youngest proposed in one go, already imagining what they could have done together, in the midst of nature and away from everyone.

-Do you mean go camping?- Hiroshi asked, too numb from sleep to get there immediately -We've already been there with the rest of the staff...-

-We weren't alone.- Daisuke retorted, shrugging.

-I know that...-

- Come on, you're always the one who break the balls to go there.-

-No, it's you who break the balls to go there.- the major corrected him, slapping him on the head -I'd stay at home too, doing nothing.-

Daisuke snorted softly, and then looked him in the eye in a sort of challenge to who would give in first.

-Come on, Hiroshi, it's just to do something different.- the younger tried to convince him by going to caress his face, aware that he had the green light since the older one seemed too concentrated to think about it -It's to take our heads off and get out of here a bit.-

He was not so fond of camping, Hiroshi, and last time he had been there because he was forced by the other members of the radio. He really would have stayed more willingly at home, but it was also true that he had never had a similar experience with kohai. Kohai who was staring at him with a look full of expectation and full of hope that vaguely resembled what he noticed in his cat's eyes when he saw him approaching dangerously to the pantry where his kibble were locked up.

-It's that I have all my things at home...- tried to trudge excuses the oldest with an unconvincing tone not to repeat again that he was not the type to take trips out of town and in the middle of nature.

Daisuke grinned slightly, aware that he was successful or bad in convincing him.

-Anyway, tomorrow you would have had to go to your house to feed Nyaa-san.- he objected with disarming sincerity and timing, getting an unconvinced glare from Hiroshi.

-Have I ever told you that you’re irritating? - the latter teased him, with an angry tone but amused at the same time. No matter how much he tried to dissociate himself from a certain idea or a certain plan, he was always able to drag him back inside with very few moves: he was a cursed monster of skill.

-Maybe a couple of times.- the minor chuckled with a sly smile, getting another slap (this time affectionate) from the major.

He would never have told him, or rather, not in that context, because he knew that Hiroshi would do and said everything to deny the obvious. He wanted to tell him that he would go anywhere with him, that he didn't care about going camping but doing something in his company after a long time.

He was interested only in him, the rest was a conglomeration of trivial things that could take a second moment to be viewed.

He kissed him, then, closing his eyes and placing his hands on his cheeks to draw him closer. Hiroshi did the same, sighing softly between smacks and letting his body relax further to that contact he had been waiting for days.

Because of their commitments and their public image, they could not expect to be able to see each other every day, the moments in which they could actually be alone were very rare, so the lack of the other had made itself felt often and willingly in those weeks.

-I set the alarm clock at eight.- Daisuke announced breaking away from him, but always keeping his face very close to the tired one of the oldest.

-Mmh-mh.- the other muttered as he placed another kiss, faster but no less romantic, on that mouth that he adored so much.

He rolled back onto his side of the bed, still going to hug him weakly as he closed his eyes and finally let himself abandon himself to that cursed sleep that had been harassing him for more than an hour.

-Goodnight.- Daisuke said, burying his head in his hair and closing his eyes too when he heard him return with a drawl.

He did not fall asleep immediately, but fortunately the light sound of Hiroshi's breath managed to make him sleep without too many pretensions.

It was a long time since they had taken a full day to be together, to say he was over the moon is certainly an understatement.

---

Waking up at eight o'clock and leaving the house at ten they were able to do everything on time without having to rush or swear too much. They had also passed by Hiroshi's house to get the last few things, feed the cat, stroke the cat for a whole minute, and then they headed by car to the place that a colleague of theirs had recommended, but not before moving on to the konbini to buy food.

After having parked at the foot of the hill where they should have headed, they set off together with all their belongings: backpacks with everything they need, blankets for sitting or lying on the grass, plastic bags containing their lunch and their dinner that day...luckily they had remembered to bring everything they needed.

-Are you sure it's the right place?- Hiroshi asked when he heard the other announce that they had arrived. They were on a gently sloping lawn but not enough to cause trouble, with a beautiful view overlooking the sunlit city in total silence. Only a light breeze seemed to give them a bit of noise and movement, intent on stroking their hair and not making them regret having chosen a little higher destinations for the temperatures, above all.

-Why are you asking me?- the younger one placed one of the two backpacks he had decided to carry on the floor. Hiroshi had also offered to help him, but Daisuke had ignored him.

-There are houses down there.- the major pointed to them with his finger, placing everything he had decided to bring and that had massacred his back all the way down to the ground. -Sure we won't bother? -

There were indeed some isolated houses in the distance near a grove, but they were quite a distance from where they were.

-I'm not 100% sure but I'm sure this is the place he recommended.- Daisuke raised his hands as he began to pull all the bulky things they had brought out of his backpack -There are also traces of a fire, surely someone else has been here before us.- actually there was a darker shadow on the grass and some burnt bits of wood, so Daisuke's assumptions actually had a foundation.

-I hope so...- Hiroshi sighed as he reached him to give him a hand. They had walked for a few kilometers from where they had parked, an uphill road but fortunately rather airy and already trodden by previous passers-by.

They weren't used to spending time like that in the midst of that unspoiled nature, so they hardly even talked while walking just to enjoy the tranquility that unfortunately lacked in a metropolis like Tokyo.

They decided to already set up the tent and the inflatable mattresses in order to still have a fixed place to stay in the dead moments. As hot as it was, they had also brought a couple of sleeping bags because they were aware of the fact that it would be damp at night and therefore quite cold.

-What do we do, let's go look for wood for the fire?- Hiroshi asked, observing that darker patch on the grass with an inquiring air, standing and with his hands on his hips.

-No need, I brought the electric stove.- answered the youngest as he spread two blankets in front of the tent, already assembled and open to the "public".

Hiroshi stared at him with wide eyes, firmly convinced that he had to face that camping the old way despite being in the twenty-first century and still quite close to civilization.

-You are a genius, I didn’t expect it.- he commented with his heart, observing him as he spread out those blankets with care but with determination at the same time folded on the ground. The latter chuckled, turning his face towards him.

-Stop saying obvious things, come on.- did not even have time to finish the sentence that Hiroshi approached him and pushed him slightly, making him lose his balance and making him fall backwards with a small thud.

-I'm going to take a look around.- he announced shortly after holding back a laugh, putting his hands on his hips and passing the apparently helpless body of the kohai still lying on the grass and with a fake painful expression.

-Don't go too far!- Daisuke exclaimed with a grin as he watched him slowly go out of the corner of his eye.

-Who are you, my mother?- the older one burst back, continuing his walk towards the small wood they had behind them, taking long and slow steps and keeping his gaze fixed on the grass to avoid tripping over any hole or slightly higher area.

He was already getting used to it, Daisuke observed with a smirk as he pulled himself up to his feet and took off all the grass that had stuck to his clothes with firm shakes.

He wasn't the type who preferred trips out of town, Hiroshi, and he had proven it over and over in those years. He had come to that point that during his free days he was so tired that he didn't even want to leave the house. For that reason seeing him still so busy despite those premises managed, in some way, to make his partner smile who, after checking that all the things were in place and that there was nothing too far from the camp, he too walked towards the grove behind him.

As he passed, small indefinite insects flew up (he didn't have time to check which species they belonged to), just deprived of their daily quiet and intent on flitting from one blade of grass to another. It was wonderful to be able to walk undisturbed without fear of being stopped by some fans, he noted getting closer and closer to that flash of shadow that seemed to have swallowed Hiroshi shortly before.

That wood, or rather, that particular feeling of entering a wood, reminded him of his childhood in Kochi, when he went in search of kites with his friends of the time to be able to show them to his parents or to show them to frightened girls.

At that moment, however, he was an adult and there was no insect to catch for any reason, on the other hand he had no one to scare or surprise.

It was actually a wood in name only, because in fact it consisted of only a dozen trees and divided two residential areas of a purely rustic type.

After looking around for a few minutes, peering through the trunks of the trees present and being careful not to trip over their roots, he found Hiroshi bent on the ground not far from a bush.

-Hiros...- did not even have time to call him that the other showed him his hand to indirectly tell him to shut his mouth.

-Speak slowly and approach slowly.- the oldest ordered him without even looking at him, staring back at that indefinite point in the bush in perfect silence. Daisuke shrugged and sighed softly before approaching as he ordered, being careful not to step on dry leaves or anything that could make too much noise.

He immediately assumed that he was observing some animal, otherwise all that mystery and that curious attitude on his part would not be explained.

He found an answer to his questions when, immediately under that bush, he glimpsed a black cat surrounded by five small spots, some black, others reddish.

They moved, those indefinite and colored little things, and even emitted very high-pitched noises that seemed to meow. He understood that this was a cat, and that this was his litter.

He too slowly bent down, placing himself next to Hiroshi and continuing to stare at the animal intent on nursing its offspring with infinite sweetness.

-How did you notice them?- Daisuke asked, tilting his head to the side and smiling at the cat, although he knew they couldn't understand each other.

-While walking I heard a meow and, well, you can imagine the rest.- Hiroshi held back a laugh, while he explained what had led him to spy on that scene so tender in a place that seemed almost unthinkable.

If he could imagine it all right, Daisuke, since he could not pass through a street without blocking because his partner had stopped to pet any stray or non-stray cat that was around. It was always a good sight to see, especially since Hiroshi changed his tone of voice noticeably when he approached them, even if only with his pet cat he could be damn adorable.

The cat stared at them with the half-closed eyes of someone who would have wanted so much to take a nap but who, because of those little beasts still blind and still unable to walk normally, had had to reluctantly refuse. Daisuke was surprised that she hadn't strayed or, at least, hadn't tried to defend her puppies all that time.

-They are so beautiful...- Hiroshi commented, slowly approaching the cat and kneeling to make as little noise as possible.

-Are you not afraid that she may attack you?- asked the youngest, holding back an almost frightened sigh at the idea of seeing that animal rise up against him and plant its nails in every corner of the body that was not covered by clothes.

Daisuke didn't hate cats, but he preferred to leave them alone rather than go and stroke them totally at random like his partner did.

-If she could, she would have done it before.- the major noted, placing himself in front of her, still on his knees, and starting to rummage inside the backpack he had brought with him -I bet everything you want that she is domestic, otherwise she would have run away seeing me.-

He didn't seem to be really wrong, as she hadn't moved an inch and was still watching him with narrowed eyes, relaxed as much as possible while the kittens drank their mother's milk with weak but noisy lapping and even pushed themselves to compete for who drank more.

Indeed, there were houses both at the beginning of that grove and at its end, she probably had taken refuge in the middle of the bush to have some tranquility. Only in that moment Daisuke noticed an open box not far from them, a sign that someone was taking care of them.

Hiroshi pulled a plastic bag out of his backpack, apparently containing cat treats that Daisuke had already seen several times during those years.

He squashed a hand in front of that vision, holding back an amused laugh so as not to scare the cat.

-You really brought here...-

-This is the backpack that I use to work.- he explained in an annoyed tone the largest, stretching out a morsel of meat and leaving it in front of the cat, who seemed to thank him with a look.

-I know, in fact this is not what surprises me.- the youngest teased him, watching him take another one and always placing it on the ground.

Hiroshi sighed in resignation before quickly stroking the cat's head and getting up again from the ground, totally satisfied with his work.

-I always find stray cats between the parking lot and the recording studio, it's the least I can do since I can't adopt them all.- the older one explained further, looking at him as if it had been obvious.

Daisuke knew that it was Nyaa-san who stopped him from doing something so impulsive but understandable, for this reason he found himself smiling as he too stood up and together they headed back to the camp which, in the meantime, had not been invaded by anyone if not from some small insect.

It was just noon when they decided to have lunch, sitting on those blankets that Daisuke had previously spread with great care and using for the first time that electric stove that Hiroshi had no idea that he actually owned.

They blasted three eggs and then put them in the bentos they had bought that morning at the konbini, at least to be able to eat something fresh under that sun that was so hot, but luckily not so scorching.

They chatted more and less while they ate, or paused for a few minutes in which they simply observed the landscape and enchanted themselves staring at the leaves of the trees moving with each gust of wind. It was a wonderful feeling, and they would have seriously wanted to experience it for their entire lives if only they hadn't been showbiz men anyway, with many commitments and many responsibilities.

At that moment, however, they could afford to think of something else, fortunately.

They finished eating forty minutes later with all the calm in the world, throwing the litter and plastic containers into a bag that served as their trash and putting away everything they had used up to that moment.

-I'll probably sleep for a few hours.- Daisuke weakly announced, yawning loudly as he lay down on the blanket. Hiroshi smiled slightly at the sight as he went to sit next to him, allowing him to use his legs as a pillow.

He began to stroke his hair as he saw how he was slowly relaxing, noticing his breathing gradually becoming slower and more dragged.

-You can sleep, too.- said the youngest with his voice thick with sleep, raising his hand weakly to caress his back and invite him to follow him on that blanket.

-Yes, I'll join you in a while.- Hiroshi placed a quick kiss on his forehead, before returning to observe the landscape that surrounded them with only the soft snoring of his partner to keep him company.

It took him ten minutes to feel tired and, above all, to go up to him, to then check that there was no one around and curl up beside him, placing the forehead against his and intertwining his legs with the heavy ones of the kohai.

At that moment all the stress of a frustrating week was just a distant memory.

---

The water was about to boil when Hiroshi suddenly let out a terrified scream and jerked back, apparently escaping from that blanket that until recently had nothing wrong with it.

-What the...- Daisuke murmured as he lowered the stove to avoid burning half the lawn.

-There's a huge fucking s-spider, fucking huge!- shouted the oldest in the throes of cold, not daring to even look at that blanket for fear that that creature would jump on him -Please kill it, throw it away...- he then pleaded with a shrill voice, making Daisuke laugh out loud amidst all that apparent silence.

They had woken up a few hours earlier realizing it was five in the afternoon, snuggled up on that blanket and stuck to each other as if there were two magnets between them. Until seven o'clock, or until the sun had begun to set, they had taken a walk around the area, taken numerous photographs and then returned to the tent to figure out what to do that evening.

Hiroshi was opening two containers of instant ramen when he had glimpsed that spider in the folds of the blanket and had shown his irrational fear of him.

-It's more afraid than you.- commented the youngest as he approached the animal and took it with the end of an empty plastic bottle, and then placed it on a rock not far from them.

-You’re not helping me.- Hiroshi retorted, relieved at the sight of that abomination far from his blanket and far from his range of action.

-You’re more afraid of a tiny creature than of a stray cat with puppies.- the youngest teased him again, returning to the stove.

-At least cats don't slip into other people's blankets making you have multiple heart attacks!- exclaimed Hiroshi, sitting back on the blanket, but not before checking a billion times that there was nothing left -And then that wasn't a stray, but domestic.- he then reminded him by throwing him a dirty look full of obviousness.

-Yes yes, as you want.- Daisuke dismissed him rolling his eyes -At least thank me for saving your ass.-

-First feed me, then we'll talk about it.-

-This is called slavery.- underlined the smaller one, turning off the stove and bringing the two containers containing the instant ramen closer to the kettle.

-No, this is called "cohabitation”.- Hiroshi joked as he took his own and carried it on his legs, waiting for the water to do his job and melt the noodles and broth together.

-Ah, you mean that thing that we will never be able to experience?- Daisuke said with an ironic tone, alluding to the fact that a relationship like theirs could be complicated to metabolize in their world and, above all, in their society.

-You're nice as a kick between the teeth.- Hiroshi murmured with feigned bitterness, separating his chopsticks to see him sit in front of him with his ramen in hand, ready to be intoxicated by that vague and very inviting scent of meat and vegetables.

-I love you so much too.- the smallest chuckled while shaking his head, struck by how unfriendly and asshole he could seem at times.

He didn't mean those things, of course, but he was good at showing otherwise.

They dined as always in peace, only their continuous sucking to create a bit of noise and only a few rechargeable reading bulbs to give them the little light they needed to at least understand where to put the sticks. After throwing out the empty containers and finishing a simple can of beer in two, they lay down on the blankets with their faces towards that sky that was getting darker and darker by the advent of evening.

It was a sky that in Tokyo they could only dream of seeing due to the intense light pollution that made it look like a mere puddle of ink and, sometimes, covered in clouds.

They stayed like that, intent on observing the stars taking their places on that dark canvas and illuminating it slowly. Small spots of different color and shape that neither of them clearly knew their names.

The evening breeze caressed their hair and slightly raised the edges of the blankets on which they lay; it was almost cold to tell the truth, in fact they had put on an extra sweatshirt for fear of freezing. There was no noise to keep them company, as if they were totally merged with that nature that had welcomed them with so much care.

-I never thought I'd say it, but I enjoyed it.- Hiroshi said suddenly, hinting at a slight smile but not taking his eyes off those stars. Daisuke had to refrain a lot from smiling at him toothy, happy to be able to change his mind in such a short time.

-You could also admit that every now and then I have good ideas...- he scolded the other in a friendly way, pulling a light elbow that made him snort.

-Rather than giving you that satisfaction, I'll be silent.- Hiroshi provoked him, throwing him a sarcastic look out of the corner of my eye. Daisuke chuckled softly as he went to caress his left thigh without any particular intent, then returned in complete silence.

It was a shame that they couldn't enjoy a day off so much to be able to relax or to let go of their heads and leave all the worries and stress in that locked house. The moment they opened the door, however, all that negative chaos would become an integral part of their lives again, and Daisuke was very sorry about this.

He knew how loyal Hiroshi was at work and how much he hated taking breaks, but it was only fair that sooner or later he would take a few moments to think for himself. He did not expect him to think about their relationship, even if he did it secretly and without revealing it too much because it embarrassed him to talk about "them" in certain contexts, but he thought it was nice to spend days like that, without responsibility, in the midst of nature, without oppression of any kind and only in the company of the other.

Daisuke also loved being able to spend a second with him among other people, but actually being alone with him was priceless.

-Do you realize that we have known each other for fourteen years?- the latter suddenly asked, recalling the early days with a certain nostalgia.

-There are more than fourteen, actually.- the other replied promptly, holding back a laugh -I already knew who you were before the radio.-

-Yes, I already knew who you were too, but before the interview for the radio we had never spoken to each other.- Daisuke specified, remembering very well that day as if it had been a week ago.

-I know for sure that I greeted you once, just out of the studio.-

-I would remember it too.- retorted the smallest frowning.

-You don't even remember what you ate last night.-

-Don’t take advantage of it just because yesterday I was pretty tipsy and my mind was quite clouded.- Daisuke complained pulling him another elbow that Hiroshi took with a witty chuckle -Anyway, I would remember such an event, since you were already quite famous and your name was on everyone's lips.-

-Really?- Hiroshi chuckled nervously, as if he didn't really know what his colleagues were saying behind him. Words of admiration, of course, not offensive words.

-Well, yes, then the news of your accident spread like wildfire in the studios at that time.-

He was suddenly silent as he recalled that event that had nearly led to the death of the older of the two, more than ten years ago.

Daisuke realized that he had touched a delicate subject and, of which, they had not discussed much in those years by force of circumstances, so he rushed to solve that wrong move.

-Sorry, I didn't want to bring it out...-

-It's okay.- Hiroshi reassured him going to look him in the eye with a calm expression on that relaxed face -Every now and then it's good to talk about it.-

The trauma seemed to have passed since he still drove on the street anyway and even drove him around , but they had never talked about it in such depth.

Hiroshi had a scar on his neck that clearly testified what he had to go through: Daisuke wondered what he thought every morning looking in the mirror. He surely had seen it so many times that he had gotten used to having it by now, but he was such a good person at hiding his emotions and perceptions of him that Daisuke, most of the time, didn't know how to take him.

-That time... when did you find out what had happened to me?- Hiroshi asked after a while, with an incredibly calm tone for the topic they were facing.

-After a few days. In the studio everyone was talking about it.- Daisuke answered with a vague air, not totally convinced if he wanted the details or not. Hiroshi smiled, as if he expected a similar response, and looked back at the starry sky with one hand under his head and the other lying on the blankets.

-I remember that many of our colleagues, when you woke up, said they wanted to come and see you, some even brought bouquets of flowers to work...- said the youngest shortly after, daring to raise the bar slightly.

-There were so many that the nurses had to put them in a completely empty room.- Hiroshi chuckled, remembering with a sort of nostalgia that almost dramatic moment in his life. The moment that frightened him most of all, but the one that made him understand the value of life, how beautiful it was to wake up in the morning and realize that he was surrounded by people who loved and appreciated him.

People who had sent him endless emails, people who had even bothered to visit him after he woke up from a coma, people who had offered to pay him for treatment...

Hiroshi, at that point, could consider himself decidedly very lucky.

-Why didn't you come to see me at that time?- he asked Daisuke, turning his head slightly towards him.

It wasn't the tone he used to scold him or to hint at yet another dig at him, far from it; Hiroshi was just curious, innocence imbued in his eyes and in his voice spoke clearly.

Daisuke realized this, and found himself blushing with embarrassment.

He liked the fact that he asked, especially in that quiet tone, but at the same time he didn't expect such a question at a time like this, especially when we consider that they had never approached the subject in a fully conscious way.

He scratched his chin, Daisuke, as he looked away from him and felt the sense of guilt tearing through his chest every millimeter more with every second that passed undisturbed.

-I didn't know you.- he said in a low and mortified tone, feeling Hiroshi's perplexed gaze on him -And I didn't want...to be too much, that's it.-

-”To be too much”?- the older one repeated, holding back a laugh so as not to tell him clearly how ridiculous that statement was. Instinctively, he went calmly to shake his hand.

-Well, everyone knew you, in a way, and surely if I had introduced myself you would have looked at me wrong because, come on, it's natural to react this way if a stranger comes to greet you in the hospital after an accident.- mumbled Daisuke blushing again at the vivid reminder of his repressed temptations.

-It's not true.- Hiroshi continued to giggle, moved by his predictable reaction -Lots of kohais I had never spoken to have come, you could have done it too.-

As always, he was not scolding him, also because more than ten years had passed since that rather dramatic event and it was not possible to change things.

-I would have liked that.- he continued, softening his tone of voice and scrutinizing him from his position. It was odd to see him so embarrassed and vulnerable when it was usually himself who fully bordered on those conditions.

Daisuke found himself smiling sadly as he looked away from him and continued to look at those stars who had surely witnessed so many events that they had now lost count. Stars that they could only see in movies, distant stars but at the same time so bright that they seem extremely close.

Stars who would watch til they drop because they didn't know when they could still have that chance in the future.

-I hoped you would recover as soon as possible.- the younger continued, sighing slightly -And, luckily, my wish came true sooner than I thought.-

Hiroshi found himself smiling as he squeezed his hand even tighter with his, even intertwining his fingers in a purely selfish act of feeling him closer to him.

-I still remember the first meeting for the radio.- he laughed, then, shaking his body on that blanket no longer perfectly stretched on that lawn.

-Ah, you mean the one where you acted like an asshole the whole time?- Daisuke teased him sarcastically, greatly increasing his laughter.

-L-listen, I was justified...- mumbled between a cough and the other, Hiroshi, totally aware of not being convincing, but the beauty was just that.

-Justified?- Daisuke repeated in a horrified tone -Would throwing homicidal looks at me and answering me in monosyllables justify you?-

Obviously, he was much more upset at the time because, in a way, it was still a senpai he admired. At that moment, however, he thought it was a funny memory and one that made him think a lot, certainly; it was always strange to see how much and what progress their relationship had made over the years. From knowing each other and talking to each other only on the radio they ended up discovering sides of the other that they hardly showed in public, only to learn about each other's feelings and everything they kept hidden for fear of ruining that friendship that deepened every day.

-They had made me pass the program for something serious.- Hiroshi sneered with a beginning of tears on the edge of his eyelids, a sign that it was a laugh that came right from the heart -Then I heard all the shit jokes you only made at the meeting...and I was firmly convinced that they had taken the piss out of me.-

-It was the emotion of the moment...- the minor tried to justify himself by scratching his neck, embarrassed and extremely amused at the same time.

-For you it is always the emotion of the moment.- Hiroshi resumed him pulling a friendly elbow on his side, luckily not too strong -I thought you were too little serious for a similar project.-

-And you seemed disgustingly snobbish, as far as I'm concerned.- Daisuke retorted with very little sincerity, both in the look and in the tone, an attitude that only served to tease him a little more.

-Better snob than idiot.- Hiroshi smiled sardonic, raising both eyebrows.

If it had been someone else Daisuke he would have turned on and would have responded in kind, but he knew that the other did not seriously think those things.

-Better idiot than tsundere.- the youngest objected immediately, raising an eyebrow with the evident intention of sticking his finger further into his wound.

-You're irritating.- Hiroshi hissed approaching him, gripping the hem of the shirt with both hands to be able to bring his face closer to him and look at him better.

-And you're a pain in the ass.- Daisuke added without fear of exaggerating, throwing a friendly slap on the shoulder -But I love you for that, too.-

- “Too"?- challenged the other, raising both eyebrows and placing himself directly on top of him.

-Yes, but don't make me repeat the rest, I think by now you already know.- Daisuke pointed out, going to caress his slightly tired face.

-Don’t worry, there’s no need.- Hiroshi reminded him going to kiss him, finally, after seconds and seconds of delay and various digs.

It was all so perfect, they both thought as they rolled over on those entwined blankets and covered each other's face with sweet, chaste, pure kisses as if they were actually the firsts.

It was rare that they were able to spend so much time together in busy schedules, but it was something they both needed. A moment in which they could have taken off their showmen masks and finally found themselves normal people, with feelings, with emotions, with things they loved and things they hated.

Even just a few minutes with that awareness seemed infinitely beautiful.

They returned to chat after a few genuine giggles, a few light digs and a few more kisses, as if those they had already given themselves were not enough and needed to further reiterate the concept. Memories upon memories surfaced under those stars that seemed to watch over them like mothers: happy memories, less pleasant memories, funny memories, distressing memories ... everything came out of their mouths, as if in all those years they had not actually said everything.

However, they still had time to get to know each other totally, they were both sure of that.

They decided to turn off the lights and go to sleep after an hour and a half, after closing the tent and snuggling together on those sleeping bags so cozy that they could have induced sleep on contact.

-Sorry if I don't tell you often...- Hiroshi premised under that warm cave that was not at all like his bed, but that was fine anyway -But I love you too.-

Daisuke found himself smiling slightly as he went to hug him, causing his face to sink into his chest and feel the accelerated beating of his heart.

-I know, and that's fine with me.- he said in going to kiss his head, then wishing him goodnight and beginning to feel sleep inviting him to let go.

The next day they would both return to their usual life, the usual life of lies, of actions done in secret, of smiles of circumstance ... after a day like this it definitely seemed like a curse.

But they both knew that, as long as they had each other's support, they could get over any moment that could put them in crisis.

It was really great like that, Daisuke repeated to himself as he closed his eyes.

And he couldn't have asked for better.