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The squelch of tentacle ooze, or… former tentacle ooze, as Kevin walks is perhaps the most disgusting noise he's heard in a while. He has no idea what the ooze actually is and already plans to throw his sneakers in the next available dumpster once he's back to his apartment.
If it weren't for the snow that had started to fall just before he left the bioscience building on campus, the shoes would have been abandoned long ago!
"Kevin!" Jack pops in directly beside the young man and immediately dodges to the side when Kevin reflexively stabs the air with an athame. "That wasn't very nice…"
"Yeah, well, how was I suppose to know it was you and not some demon?" Kevin groans as he slides the blade back up his sleeve and takes another step. There's a squelch and even Jack's nose wrinkles.
Jack hops along behind Kevin as the older man continues walking, "Anyway! I was wondering-"
"Never good."
"I was wondering!" Jack talks louder, narrowing his eyes on Kevin as he falls into step with him, "If you wanted to come back to the bunker for the rest of your break."
"The bunker…" Kevin drawls, looking at Jack from the corner of his eyes, "…filled with not one, but probably two disgustingly happy Winchesters trying to reclaim their childhood through massive amounts of Christmas decorations and mistletoe kisses?"
"Yeah!" Jack grins, practically skipping.
"No." Kevin stops at the door of his apartment building and toes off his shoes. His feet are immediately wet, socks drenched by the snow.
"But Kev-"
The shoes are thrown loudly into a dumpster before Kevin treks back to the door, already shivering, "No offense, Jack, but this semester was worse than all of last year combined. I just finished an impromptu hunt because a bunch of oceanography students got too attached to an octopus. My plans for break include sleeping, sleeping, and more sleeping."
Jack's head bobs along as Kevin ticks off the plans on his fingers, but his eyes grow wider and his bottom lip is sticking out as if it might start trembling. "Okay…" He pops away and Kevin almost feels guilty.
A feeling that is quickly smothered by annoyance as he slips in the lobby on the way to his mailbox.
"Hi Mister Kevin!" The far too chipper voice of his neighbor's kid jumps out at him from the stairway. The boy is equipped with snow boots and a backpack as he rushes down the steps. He screeches to halt a few feet from the mailboxes, "You smell like bad sushi."
"I am, unfortunately, aware," Kevin sighs as he opens his mailbox.
A few magazines and credit card offers to his various aliases are shoved directly into his bag. A postcard from Eileen and another from Rowena announce that literally everyone is having a better day than him.
"What mischief are you getting up to?" Kevin tilts his head as he looks at his young neighbor, "Little late for you to be heading out."
The child freezes with his hand on the door. His face flushes red and his smile widens, "Are you gonna tell my parents?"
Kevin archs a brow, shrugs, "Don't get murdered, kid." He starts up the stairs, shaking his head as the kid whoops and shoves himself through the door.
It's two days before Christmas, what's the worst that the kid can get up to? Pickpocketing Kris Kringle? Stealing Santa's mail? As long as there are no demons, or magically augmented science experiments, Kevin gives exactly zero cares for anything happening beyond the four walls of his apartments.
Really. He should've expected the scream.
Kevin rushes to his window just in time to see a horned creature in a Santa suit stuffing his neighbor's kid into a red sack. The creature, and the kid, disappear before Kevin can even open his window.
"Damn it," Kevin squeezes his eyes closed and bangs his forehead against the window frame lightly, "Why does the universe hate me?"
-.-.-
Kevin cracks his neck as he starts inputting the details of the creature into Sam's makeshift database of monsters. Did he steal the database from Sam's laptop last month? Yes. But if Sam hadn't wanted Kevin to take it, he should have had a better password.
"Okay..." Kevin mumbles to himself as he types, "Curled horns, claws, santa suit." It should be specific enough to get him some results. How many monsters make a habit of wearing santa suits?
7. Apparently.
Groaning, Kevin sits down to start sifting through the data, singing softly to himself, "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, my life is hell, why am I -"
He pauses on a lithograph depicting a sheep-like creature in a red suit. It has sharp teeth, dripping with blood. Very pointed.
What draws his attention is the background. There are children hanging from a tree by their ankles. Tied up with red ribbon which he is fairly positive is artistic license, but is creepy all the same.
"Krampus," Kevin rolls his eyes, "Should have seen that coming." He makes himself skim the entry on krampus from the men of letters' encyclopedia before he reaches for a map.
Tallest tree in the area. That's not at all a difficult thing to find in an incredibly wooded area. Not at all.
He sets up a geographic search on his laptop and then scrambles to his feet in search of shoes. A vague memory of his mother reminding him to always keep a pair of boots in the winter sends a shiver down his spine.
"Do not have time for ghostly admonishments," Kevin huffs as he digs out a pair of hiking boots. They're not built for snow, but they'll do for a quick search of the abduction site.
His mother would definitely yell at him for not wearing a proper jacket either, but he's just crossing the street to the little park by his place. It's not like he's actually hiking or something.
"Blame Dean," Kevin tells the nagging voice in his head as he crosses the street, "The man thinks a flannel shirt and a leather jacket counts as a winter coat."
There is, thankfully, no response.
Given his day so far, Kevin would not be shocked by an actual haunting at this point.
There's a decent layer of snow on the ground because, of course, it's still snowing. Kevin finds a rock of coal right where Krampus had abducted the kid though. And there's more snow beneath it than on top so it's a recent drop.
"Krampus - bit on the nose with the symbolism," Kevin raises a brow and pockets the coal.
He has an excuse to try a scrying spell, Rowena will be so pleased. She's not allowed to know.
Especially after the first attempt ends with his smoke alarm going off and Kevin gagging on smoke.
"If I end up dying of lung cancer, I am blaming Krampus," Kevin starts again when his laptop beeps and displays a lack of results for his geographic search.
The second scrying attempt produces an exact location deep into the forest that surrounds, well, everything. And some singed eyebrows.
"Jingle bells, my life is hell, and Santa is an asshole~" Kevin sings sarcastically as he shrugs on his winter coat. He may be grumpy, but he's not about to give his mother a reason to haunt him.
He grabs some matches, a lighter, and a few flints. Kevin is going to light Krampus on fire whether the world wants him to or not. Preferably before the snow seeps into his boots.
-.-.-
The forest is like all forests. Gross. Filled with creepy sounds. Cold.
Kevin sneezes and tugs his scarf tighter around his face. He glares at the trees as he walks along the makeshift trail following the route he drafted on the map before coming.
There is no sign that he is entering an evil lair, but he definitely does at some point. When he hears whimpering, Kevin looks up to find his neighbor looking down at him.
The kid's face is almost as red as the ribbon cutting into his skin.
"Not artistic license," Kevin arches a brow, glancing around to see that there are multiple kids up in the tree. Some of them have passed out, or at least Kevin hopes that's why they're not moving.
"Alright, don't panic," Kevin gestures at the kids calmingly. They start squirming rapidly. Which he correctly guesses means Krampus is right behind him.
Kevin ducks and scrambles away before Krampus can slam him into the tree. With his horns.
"Sheep creature my ass," Kevin grumbles as Krampus rams into the tree, horns first. He climbs, because it makes the most sense in the moment.
And then he realizes that with all of his fire starting methods, he doesn't have anything to throw from a distance.
"Should have brought fireworks or..."
The kid to his left starts squirming, his shouting muffled by the gag in his mouth. His eyes are bright and he manages to toss his head back to indicate his backpack.
"Oh right... Krampus targets delinquents."
Kevin shrugs and pulls the kid closer so he can cut them down. Three kids later he has enough fireworks for the fourth of july and a bottle of vodka to use as an accelerant. With the help of one of the kids, who he may or may not be putting on a watchlist, Kevin aims a roman candle right for Krampus. They hit him between the horns, right in the face.
"Anyone more athletic than me want to throw some matches?" Kevin offers up. As he pours the vodka down on the stumbling monster a literal rain of fire falls down on Krampus.
In true monster fashion, Krampus burns quickly and spectacularly. Kevin spends more time talking the kids out of setting off the other fireworks than he does putting out the ashes.
"Shoo, shoo!" Kevin shoves them all towards the trail that would lead them out of the forest, "I rescued you, as payment I'm claiming your illegally acquired fireworks."
Some of them grumbled, but most of them were happily fleeing what was surely a therapy-necessary traumatic event. Kevin wishes them luck (in his head) and explains nothing because he isn't in the business of making baby hunters. Technically, he doesn't even call himself a hunter at this point.
"Mister Kevin?"
Looking up from sprinkling holy water on the ashes, Kevin is surprised to see his neighbor standing there fidgeting. He raises a brow, "Yeah."
"Uh..." the kid bites his lip, "Thanks for coming to save me." Kevin shrugs, caps his rainbow water bottle and stuffs it back in his bag. The kid is still standing there. Kevin looks back up at him. He cringes, "Sorry that I ruined your Christmas plans."
"My Christmas plans are a nap, no worries," Kevin gives him a thumbs up and watches the kid's face scrunch up. "What?"
"But I thought your brother came to see you? I saw you talking outside when I was getting ready to leave."
Forehead wrinkling, Kevin took several seconds to process that his neighbor thought Jack was his brother. And then that sinking feeling of guilt at turning down Christmas came clawing back with a vengeance.
"Uh, yeah, he asked me over for the holiday, but-"
"You should go! My mom says the whole point of any holiday is who you spend it with!" The child is officially looking at him with the same shimmering innocent that Jack often has.
Kevin resists the temptation to shove snow into his face. Because he's an adult. Sort of.
"I'll think about," Kevin shrugs and waves him away, "Now shoo, I have to clean this up."
"Bye Mister Kevin!" The child runs off as Kevin pulls out a wand. So the kid had some survival instincts at least.
He collected the ashes for Rowena. Not because he was thoughtful, but because he hadn't bought her a Christmas gift yet and her postcard had sounded vaguely threatening. Absolutely no other reason.
-.-.-
Kevin stomps into his apartment, shivering as he shakes the snow off his jacket. He throws the sack he'd gathered the ashes in onto his table before collapsing on his couch.
His mother's voice was sharp in his ear, "Don't sit in your wet clothes!"
His cell starts ringing as he's pulling his coat off and Kevin just manages to hit the answer button before it goes to voicemail.
"Kev?" Dean's voice is gruff on the other end. Kevin chucks his coat off in the corner, huffing as he plops back onto his couch.
"Yeah, what's up?" Kevin says, eyes fluttering closed as he rests his head on the back of the sofa.
"Just checkin' in," Dean laughs, a tad forceful. Kevin opens his eyes to squint at the phone beside his head. He's got in on speaker and even through the soft garbling, he can feel Dean's attempt at staying casual.
"You're a horrible liar."
Dean snorts, "I'm an amazing liar." He chuckles again, less forced. "Jack said you were having a rough time."
"Well, I just got back from rescuing my neighbor from Krampus," Kevin sighs, tossing an arm over his eyes.
"I thought it was a deranged squid."
"Octopus," Kevin corrects, "And that was earlier."
Dean hums, "For someone who is not actively hunting..."
"I do a lot of hunting." Kevin deadpans. He glares at the ceiling, "I don't know if Chuck is feeling sassy or if fate just hates me, but I'm very tired."
"Well, if you ever need a break, just give a shout. Sam and Eileen aren't that far off if you need help."
Kevin squints at the phone, "I thought they were already at the bunker."
"Nah, got sidetracked, they're driving down now," Dean's laugh is light and entirely too soft for Kevin's taste. He hums, curling up on his side as he chats with Dean.
When he finally hangs up an hour later, his thumb hovers over Sam's name in his contacts. He drops his phone on the couch, rolling to stare at his ceiling.
"Nap." Kevin nods to himself.
There's a knock at his door. Head popping up, Kevin glances at his phone. It's after midnight. He grabs a knife on his way to answer it.
It's his neighbor's kid, with a package of store bought sugar cookies.
"Are you poisoning me?" Kevin asks him, eyeing the dessert suspiciously. The kid rolls his eyes and offers the package.
"Some of us pooled our money, you know, as thanks," he chirped, glancing behind him to check his own door, "And maybe as a little bribe so you won't tell my mom...?"
Kevin arches a brow, grabs the cookies, "I had no plans to." The kid shoots him double thumbs up before ducking back into his apartment.
"That was adorable," Sam says from the stairwell, grinning as Kevin nearly drops the cookies at the sound of his voice. He does what Kevin can only describe as a sarcastic round of applause when Kevin catches it.
"What're you doing here?"
"Uh, do you want the excuse Dean told me to give or the actual reason?" Sam offers, smirking.
"I'll get my bag," Kevin shrugs and leaves his door open as he goes back inside to throw a few things - Rowena's gift, the cookies, spare underwear - into a backpack. He aims a glare at Sam, "I'm only coming cause Jack made me feel guilty."
Sam purses his lips, but nods. Kevin narrows his eyes. Sam holds his hands up, "Whatever you say. I'm taking credit for it either way." Kevin threw his bag at Sam's face as he pulled on his coat. "You know, you might be the weirdest thing I've ever gotten Dean for Christmas."
"Shut up," Kevin snarked as he locked his door and set the trap for intruders. He followed Sam down the stairs, "You're buying me new shoes on the way."