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With the room warmed by a fireplace and soft blankets and the 40’s playlist as his soundtrack, Bucky settled deeper into the oversized, plush rocker armed with knitting needles instead of weapons. He’d been on edge for weeks after the events in New York with the Flag Smashers. The break with the Wilson family had been a godsend as was Sarah’s suggestion that he try doing something to distract himself, that maybe he should take up a creative hobby.
He didn’t know what at the time, but he politely assured her he’d look into it. Not long after, while in conversation with Steve over the phone, Steve reminded him of the push for soldiers to take up knitting in order to “steady the nerves”,
As a kid, he’d loved knitting alongside his mother, or Sarah, while listening to radio programs. Sometimes Steve would do a bit but he preferred dirtying his fingers with charcoal drawing scenes from the serials or pictures of the people in the room over busying them with yarn and needles. As both mothers would say, productivity comes in many forms .
He looked at his yarn shop haul with awe, the yarns they’d used were sturdy and a bit drab, unless they used yarn from an unraveled sweater. Those were his favorites to see reworked. It was awe inspiring to see something unmade become something useful and beautiful again. The yarns he’d purchased during the day’s errands were soft and colorful. He wanted to try a technique he’d learned from one of the elder farmers in Wakanda. The colors he’d selected inspired this choice for a project.
Immersed in stitches and counting, he didn’t hear the door open so when Sam announced himself, he took congratulated himself for only mildly tensing up.
“Yo, Barnes? You in here?”
Over the music, Bucky could hear Sam moving around the other area of his apartment.
“Bucky — Oh, Sorry Grams, I was looking for the Winter Smolder.”
“Oh, you’re a funny guy,” Bucky answered once he was at a stopping point. “Your sister said I should get a hobby.”
“My sister said? You been talkin’ to my sister?”
“Yeah,” Bucky answered, setting his knitting on his lap. “When I was there, visiting you and your family, we were making polite conversation. Are you jealous?”
“Jealous of you? Or of my sister?”
“You have to ask, maybe you should think about it for a while.”
“Oh go back to your knitting,” Sam scoffed.
“You should try it, Sam. It’s distracting and constructive. Two things I unquestionably need. Maybe you do too.”
Bucky tried not to smirk watching Sam peering at his yarns and needles inquisitively. He waited to see if Sam would ask permission before offering. It was endearing, the way Sam caressed the different textured yarns. He imagined he’d looked similar in the yarn shop if anybody had been watching.
“I’ve got extra needles and tons of yarn if you want to learn,” Bucky offered. He might enjoy teaching knitting again after helping teach both Steve and Becca.
“I know how to knit,” Sam said. He didn’t divert his attention from the supplies, if he had, he’d see a genuine look of shock on Bucky’s face.
“Okay, pull up a chair and some needles, we can order takeout and not talk to each other.”
Sam was pensive as he selected yarns and fastidious choosing his needles, Bucky was no longer shocked but intrigued to see just how much Sam knew, and if he’d need to glean some pointers from him. In the time it took them, in a monosyllabic back and forth conversation about what takeout order to go with, Sam had cast on and his fingers and needles moved fluidly.
“Shi-it,” Bucky said watching Sam go. Sam looked up, grinned, and returned to his knitting.
“Gotta catch up, shouldn’t take but a minute.”
“Sam, we are not racing.”
“Okay, well, what are you working on? Let’s see who can do the better version.”
“Who’ll be the judge?” Bucky was intrigued by the idea. Figures they’d have OT make it a competition though.
“The boys, we won’t tell them who did what, we’ll just send pictures and they can decide.”
“The project is just a technique-learning exercise that I can work on —” he shrugged “— anytime. I started this venture to try knitting some socks. It’s been a while and I wanted to see if I could still do it.”
“Okay, the best pair of socks wins. I’m gonna need some different needles for that.”
“I went overboard at the knit shop, I’m sure I have what you need. What’s this little project?”
“I'm going to get started on the socks while I decide my next move on this little project,” Sam replied. “As soon as I get to a good stopping point.”
Bucky focused on his knitting, working and reworking a stitch he’d dropped when he’d broken his rhythm. It was almost as easy as he’d remembered, but it was also pretty easy to loose track. That wasn’t a new thing, he’d always had to focus a little more on his stitches, back then, though, it was because he was making faces at Becca or Steve trying to make them giggle. Maybe this time it was just the distraction of Sam working just a few feet away. Why that should be distracting was a curiosity until he remembered what he’d said to Sam just a while ago about the jealousy conundrum.
Their food arrived and they broke to eat before choosing their sock-knitting supplies. Dinner and lazy conversation felt foreign and familiar all at once and Bucky decided he liked it.
There was only the constant rhythmic snick of knitting needles and the crackle of the freshly-fed fire, and a compromise of playlist music, as the two knitted together in companionable silence.
— — — —
“You haven’t given them any little clues or anything right? Bucky asked as Sam readied the laptop to Zoom with his nephews. “Did you knit a secret message into one of the socks? Tell them what color to pay closer attention to?”
“No Bucky, did you? Did you call my sister and flirt with her against my express orders and tell her to slip them a clue?”
“Oh, so you’re going to use your jealousy to divert me from the truth? You did do something just obvious enough for the youths to pick up on. Right? Oh and while we’re getting to the truth of things, Have you decided who you’re jealous of yet? Huh?” Bucky turned away to hide a silent chuckle at Sam’s frustrated blush.
The socks had taken them both longer than they’d projected, but they were both satisfied with their work, and the socks were both very nice. Bucky was glad he wasn’t judging because he might have to vote for Sam’s, the yarn he’d chosen made a gorgeous pair of socks. He had to admit, he was a little jealous of Sam’s immaculate stitches. He hoped the ‘youths’ wouldn’t see any of the errors he swore were glaring but Sam hadn’t even poked fun at him over. Either he was saving that for a last minute sabotage prank or they were only obvious to Bucky. He’d corrected and even unraveled and reknit a couple of his errors. Maybe it was just his self esteem jerking him around.
“Hi Bucky!” called simultaneously by both Cass and AJ drew him from his thoughts. The boys were grinning and waving animatedly. He was familiar with and accustomed to using technology, but sometimes the prewar kid in him was awed by things like video communication. Here they were 1400 miles separated and the three smiles that made his heart smile were waving and grinning at him.
“Hi guys,” Bucky laughed. “Hi Sarah.”
Sam rolled his eyes but said nothing. Bucky suspected being in his head, he’d missed the boys’ “Uncle Sam” greetings. He wondered again about the jealousy vs protective feelings for his sister.
“We have two pair of socks that we need you boys to judge. We need to know your favorite from exhibits X and Y.”
There was a tape label with the respective letters above each pair as Sam pointed the camera at the socks. Bucky wondered about the alphabet choice, maybe it was because the traditional A and B might be leading clues by his initial and Sam’s Captain America call sign.
The boys took time considering the submissions, asking to see them again. Following prompts from Sarah, they asked to see the heels and the toes closely, both sides of each sock. Bucky was amused by the level of detail they were utilizing. He was certain Sarah was pulling both his and Sam’s strings by making the suggestions, but he was convinced the winner would be well thought out. The boys were left to deliberate while the three adults talked.
“The socks look pretty great you guys, I’d say they’re both contenders for sure. How was it to unwind a little bit Bucky? Was I right?”
He knew she was keen to hear him say that, yes, she was correct and he didn’t withhold gratifying her. “You were right Sarah. It was good. It was nice to build something even with a couple of setbacks.”
“Good,” she beamed. Whether with appreciation for his accomplishment or self-satisfaction, either way the smile looked good on her. As good as Sam’s frustrated furrowed brow looked on him.
Yeah, Bucky had a problem.
He was in his own thoughts again while Sarah and Sam chatted. When the boys were back with their decision, Sam had to nudge him to get his attention. With his hand still on Bucky’s leg, Sam had all of Bucky’s attention.
“We should have been able to try them on, feel them to see if they were soft or scratchy, but since you’re so far away, we will have to imagine they’re quality in real life and not just pretty things.” Cass announced.
In a good-natured tone, Sam complained, “Oh cut the crap and get on with it.”
“Sam!” Sarah scolded, equally good-humored.
Bucky was starting to wonder if the more recent bitching that Sam had been doing at him was in the same vein as the way he interacted with his family, who he clearly loved. It was easy when it was Steve, they had a history of banter and an ease with one another to cover deeper conversations in comfort. With Sam, they’d started out in the worst way and he never knew if he would be forgiven for their first several meetings.
“We’ve decided that ‘X’ is the pair we choose as winner,” AJ chimed in once the teasing abated. “Which of you is ‘X’?”
Bucky waited for Sam’s demand for a recount which never came.
“Well I’ll be damned!” Sam exclaimed. “Congrats Buck .”
“Thanks, Sam. Thanks, Boys. I’m honored.” Bucky was more than honored, he was thrilled. Sam patted him on the back and he shook Sam’s hand. “I was up against some quality stitches. I thought you’d run away with the title.”
“As a prize, you get to have Uncle Sam’s socks and yours.” Cass teased.
“Nah,” Bucky replied, “Sam should keep his socks, it gets cold up there flying around. Can’t have him get frostbitten toes. Just knowing I’m better than he is is enough.”
Sarah laughed, the boys’ giggles followed her hearty chuckle. “Well, fellas, these kids have to get going to school. Don’t you go fighting over socks. It was a fair judgment.”
“Love you Sarah, Boys. And be good you two.”
“Bye Boys,” Bucky waved at the grinning kids. “Have a great day. Sarah, thank you. See you soon.”
Bucky followed Sam closely from the table to the window. Sam stopped abruptly and Bucky bumped into him from behind.
“What?” Sam asked.
“What what?” Bucky replied.
“The following? Are you tied to me somehow now?”
“I wasn’t — I mean —” Bucky felt his face go flush. “I thought, with the leg thing? The extra rub on my back after the congratulatory pat?”
“You’re imagining things, Barnes.”
“Turn around and tell me that.” Bucky challenged.
Sam turned to face Bucky, their closeness was awkward but charged with an energy Bucky was sure Sam felt too. Bucky put his hands on Sam’s face, whiskers abraded the palm of his hand. He moved in, determined to plant one on Sam before he could escape. With their faces practically touching, their breath mingling between them, Bucky hesitated. Waited. He wanted to do this and it should be easy to just close the distance but he waited for assent from Sam.
Sam’s eyes were warm and dark, his breath fresh from being Mr. Captain America, flies in the clouds, and had just brushed and rinsed minutes before the Zoom call. Bucky locked gazes and cursed. “Fuck it, I’m going to kiss you.”
Their mouths met urgently, Sam muttered, “it’s ‘bout fuckin’ time,” before the kiss mellowed into something more tender. Bucky savored the feel of Sam’s lips between his teeth, his tongue between Sam’s teeth, and Sam’s probing tongue. He wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck pulling him even closer. “You can’t flirt with my sister any more,” Sam grumbled against the corner of Bucky’s mouth.
“Not willing to share me with your sis huh?” Bucky somewhat teased. “I’d keep it respectable, I really would.”
“I told you my sister was off limits before you decided to kiss me.”
“If I was interested in your sister, you wouldn’t scare me off with that.”
“If? What’s wrong with Sarah?”
Bucky caught Sam’s lip between his teeth, tugging playfully. “Don’t go getting combative.”
“Well?” Sam demanded, arching his neck just enough that they could see eye to eye.
“Nothing. Sara’s perfect. She’s incredible. She’s just not you.”
“Then it’s settled? You won’t flirt with her. Promise.”
Bucky cupped Sam’s cheek, smiling. “Promise,” he mouthed before sealing the deal with a kiss that rivaled the first.
fin